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Terrible Jokes


Lyfe.

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Things Only Women Understand

 

10. Cats' facial expressions

 

9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors

 

8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds

 

7. Fat clothes

 

6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time

 

5. The difference between beige, off-white, and eggshell

 

4. Cutting your bangs to make them grow

 

3. Eyelash curlers

 

2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made

 

And the number One thing only women understand:

 

1. OTHER WOMEN

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What do you call a bunch of white people in a bus?

Twinkie

 

What do you call a black guy driving a black Cadillac?

Black power.

What do you call a white guy driving a white Cadillac?

White power.

What do you call a Puerto Rican guy driving a blue Cadillac?

Grand Theft Auto.

 

 

 

<3 U Tin Trooper! <3

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A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

 

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"

The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"

The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

 

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

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