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Terrible Jokes


Lyfe.

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Right.

 

Why would you stick a baby in a blender, feet first?

 

To see it's face expression when you turn it on.

 

 

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

 

What's small, white, and getting smaller?

A baby combing it's hair with a potato slicer.

 

 

What is small, white, and crawling up your leg?

An abortion with home-sickness.

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What did the black kid get for christmas?

Your T.V

 

What do you call vietnamese guy that wants to be black?

Vinegar

 

 

We can do dead baby jokes now!?

 

Watch out people...I'm GOD with these XD

 

You ain't seen nothing yet.

 

What do you get if you put a baby in a blender?

 

I don't know either' date=' I was too busy wanking over it.[hr']

Right.

 

Why would you stick a baby in a blender' date=' feet first?

 

To see it's face expression when you turn it on.

 

 

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

 

What's small, white, and getting smaller?

A baby combing it's hair with a potato slicer.

 

 

What is small, white, and crawling up your leg?

An abortion with home-sickness.

[/quote']

 

I funking LOVE YOU

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A man walks into a bar with a picture of a cat' date=' he tells the bartender it's $100 for the picture and $100 for the story behind it. The bartender says he'll take the picture, but doesn't care about the story. At the end of his shift he throws it in the backseat of his car and drives home. He notices thousands of cats following his car! He gets worried and stops on a bridge and throws the picture off, the thousands of cats jump off too, following the picture.

 

The next day the same man comes into the bar, he asks the bartender if he's ready for the story behind the picture. The bartender says, "No, but if you have a picture of martin luther king, jr I'll take it!"

[/quote']

 

lemme guess. The person loves their black men

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Right.

 

Why would you stick a baby in a blender' date=' feet first?

 

To see it's face expression when you turn it on.

 

 

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

 

What's small, white, and getting smaller?

A baby combing it's hair with a potato slicer.

 

 

What is small, white, and crawling up your leg?

An abortion with home-sickness.

[/quote']

 

xD Funneh

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies?

One is still alive.

 

What's worse than that?

It tried to eat it's way out.

 

What's worse than that?

It succeeded.

 

What's worse than that?

It went back for seconds.

 

 

What's the difference between a sports car, and a pile of dead babies?

 

I don't have a sports car in my garage.

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And none of you realized that theirs a mother on this forum with a baby. *takes out custom (nuke) gun and shoot everyone*

 

And me being a female' date=' (although I don't want kids) I don't like hearing about dead babies.

 

=/

 

[s']I liked the racist jokes better.[/s]

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A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.

 

"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"

 

The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"

 

Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um ... no."

 

The lawyer interrupts, "or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?"

 

The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again.

 

"or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!"

 

The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea..."

 

On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"

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A man was sent to Hell for his sins. As he was being taken to his place of eternal torment, he passed a room where a lawyer was having an intimate encounter with a beautiful young woman.

 

"What a ripoff," the man muttered. "I have to roast for all eternity, and that lawyer gets to spend it with a beautiful woman."

 

Jabbing the man with his pitchfork, the escorting demon snarled, "Who are you to question that woman's punishment?"

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