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Things We've Learned From Movies


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The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.


When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.


Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment.


It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.


Cars and trucks that crash will almost always burst into flames.


One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at one.


When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.


Any computer, anywhere, even in the jungle, can hack into the most secure goverment system.


All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.



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Yeah, I kinda did too, until I saw the author



Did you make those all up, or did you get them from some sight?


That Martial Arts thing always bothered me. It wouldn't be so bad, but in the end the hero always has to go against 1 man and it's always a thousand times harder than those 10,000 people he knocked out with 1 punch.

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I got one...


If everything seems to revolve aroudn you, then one of two things will happen:


1. You are guarenteed to survive anything, no matter how bad.


2. Youa re guarenteed to die a superb, dramatic, heroic death, nd there will always be someone to avenge you. if not, then you probably f**ken sacrificed yourself...



oh, and one more:

No matter what the situation, there is always time for a grand monologue by the culprit, followed by time for arguement between the hero and culprit, and then ending with a few witty lines. You are guarenteed safe as long as the two remain talking.

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Here is some more...


1)The phone rings. Hero/Heroine picks it up. "Hello. Yes. O.k. Right. Thanks, Goodbye." (Total elapsed time on phone: 5 seconds.)

2)No one uses the restroom, except as a venue for escape. If there are multiple people in the restroom, expect a minor character revealation while they stand at the mirror

3)A dying person's last words will always be coherent and significant.

4)A villain will always commit murder right in front of the window when someone with binoculars is watching.


Thats all I can think of right now.

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Weapons capable of super mass destruction has a mandatory warming up period before it actually fires. This time varies, but usually its just enough time for a long and drawn out showdown, and then ending with the weapon always shut down at the last counting unit to zero. (In many cases it is 1, however, there are some cases where it is .1 or more commonly .01) This leads to the second law:


All terrible bombs and machines cannot be shutdown until its timer has reach the last digit before zero.

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Police scanners only work when your girlfriend comes over (Spiderman 3)

Snakes can be put on a plane without any problems (self explanatory)

Automatic weapons never hit a target, not even once.

Soldiers do not rely on Air Strikes when it is believed there are strong enemy forces in front of them (Full Metal jacket)

Torture scenes rarely leave a person traumatised, let alone dead, and should that person being tortured survive, their captors will not.

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Here are some more.


If you are being chased by zombies run as fast as you can, even though they can barely walk they will still catch up with you.


Secret agents cannot drown because they have special lungs that allow them to breathe forever.


If you desire to send any car into flame for any given reason, just shoot it three times, even though in real life you could stand right infront of a vechile and shoot the gun into the gas tank, it wouldnt ignite the fuel, only 1 or 2 bullets in the world can cause a spark, and it seems every police man in movies who blow up vehicles have those bullets.


At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.


If you need to open a locked door make sure you have a credit card handy, that will do. Unless its the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.


Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.


If a killer is lurking in your house, it's easy to find him. Just relax and run a bath - even if it's the middle of the afternoon.

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No matter how many times the actor changes' date=' James Bond will never provide any of his collegues with any explanation as to his new face.[/quote']


James Bond *IS* DOCTOR WHO!! ;)


Whenever a villain says 'nothing can stop them now' they get stopped!

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