Proposing

[D.A._Sakuyamon]

Hey guys it's D.A. here.

 

A few days ago I made a status about my best girl proposing to me. Now at that time I asked if I would be the one to wear the ring since she was the one to propose and at first she said no but quickly said yes with the note of if I wanted to. I said yes cause tbh I kinda feel like the girl in the relationship anyways (no gender bias intended) and I absolutely adore jewellery.

 

I asked the question because I really wasn't sure due to you know the whole tradition of the man proposing. When I can I'll be secretly buying her a ring.

 

Now guys what do you think? Should it go by tradition and have the man buy the ring regardless of who proposed or should it be free to decide?

[·Toot]

Hey guys it's D.A. here.

 

A few days ago I made a status about my best girl proposing to me. Now at that time I asked if I would be the one to wear the ring since she was the one to propose and at first she said no but quickly said yes with the note of if I wanted to. I said yes cause tbh I kinda feel like the girl in the relationship anyways (no gender bias intended) and I absolutely adore jewellery.

 

I asked the question because I really wasn't sure due to you know the whole tradition of the man proposing. When I can I'll be secretly buying her a ring.

 

Now guys what do you think? Should it go by tradition and have the man buy the ring regardless of who proposed or should it be free to decide?

IMO I think it should be free to decide. But the it is traditional for the man to give the ring. And it is a boost of confidence if you ask me. If you can get the ring, she'll probably fall over for anything you do for her. 

 

And congrats on the nuptials.

[Exiro]

She said no at first for a reason. Sure, you can wear the ring, and she won't say anything, but she will quietly feel disappointed. She wants you to buy her a ring.

[Thar]

 

Personally I consider it a waste of time and money, especially if you're whipped. One moment you're totally in love and want to spend the rest of your life  with her, then a few years later you start having economic problems and end up divorcing and being a part of the 50% divorce rate in America.

 

Love stinks.

[D.A._Sakuyamon]

She said no at first for a reason. Sure, you can wear the ring, and she won't say anything, but she will quietly feel disappointed. She wants you to buy her a ring.

 

I'm just going to ignore this.

 

Personally I consider it a waste of time and money, especially if you're whipped. One moment you're totally in love and want to spend the rest of your life  with her, then a few years later you start having economic problems and end up divorcing and being a part of the 50% divorce rate in America.

 

Love stinks.

I'm not going agree with you or disagree cause it feels like your just going on a mini rant on marriage in general.

[Thar]

I'm not going agree with you or disagree cause it feels like your just going on a mini rant on marriage in general.

 

Pretty much. When it comes to love in general, I'm either indifferent to it or black and white about what it might to do me if I end up in that loop.

[~ P O L A R I S ~]

Fine, ignore Exiro and plunge yourself into a loooong-term relationship mired by her deep-seated resentment in lieu of your social competence. Just don't have kids, it won't be a kid-friendly atmosphere.

Alternatively, buy the ring. Extra points if it's certified conflict-free.

I'm not joking at all, PLEASE trust me when I say I have your interests at heart here, because I am NOT going to be held liable for not having warned you two years from now when there's gnashing of teeth and binge drinking and you're digging this thread out of the archives to come crying to me about your custody battle for D.A. Guyver Jr.

[D.A._Sakuyamon]

Fine, ignore Exiro and plunge yourself into a loooong-term relationship mired by her deep-seated resentment in lieu of your social competence. Just don't have kids, it won't be a kid-friendly atmosphere.

Alternatively, buy the ring. Extra points if it's certified conflict-free.

I'm not joking at all, PLEASE trust me when I say I have your interests at heart here, because I am NOT going to be held liable for not having warned you two years from now when there's gnashing of teeth and binge drinking and you're digging this thread out of the archives to come crying to me about your custody battle for D.A. Guyver Jr.

 

I ignored it for this reason. I stated in the op. that i was going to secretly buy a ring for her. Telling me to do so as if I wasn't going too is an insult to me. Simple as that.

[Exiro]

I ignored it for this reason. I stated in the op. that i was going to secretly buy a ring for her.

 

Is that really so? Let's take a look at the original source.

 

 

When I can I'll be secretly buying her a ring.

 

It just doesn't sound too convincing. The word 'when' is ambiguous, but even with the right meaning attached, the wording makes it sounds like you're underestimating the situation. Rakim and I were just making sure that you realize the magnitude of this. If I knew beforehand that it would insult you, I would still have said the same thing.

[Agro]

Wow, the people in this thread...

 

Buy her a ring. She wants it and it'll keep other guys away from her.

[D.A._Sakuyamon]

Is that really so? Let's take a look at the original source.

 

 

 

It just doesn't sound too convincing. The word 'when' is ambiguous, but even with the right meaning attached, the wording makes it sounds like you're underestimating the situation. Rakim and I were just making sure that you realize the magnitude of this. If I knew beforehand that it would insult you, I would still have said the same thing.

I know full well of proposals. This is the 2nd time I'v been in one. Though the first I was the one to propose, that person ended up cheating on me. 

 

1 thing that should be noted. "When I can" means "When I have the money". I'm not some cheapskate that's going to spend like 25cent at some toy vending machine. <_< I'm more of the, spend 100+ on something like that.

[Darth Revan of the Sith]

Rakim and I were just making sure that you realize the magnitude of this.

BECUZ ITS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING EVER AND IT IS LIEK IMPORTANT YOU DO IT THE WAY 90% OF ALL PEOPLE DO EET!

 

LOL I fracking hate marriage. The idea of it pisses me off, everything revolving around it pisses me off. I can't stand the money put into it, I can't stand the longstanding ceremony, I can't stand the priest saying that he has now acknowledged that you two are together in bond, and I can't f*cking stand how the benefits are part of it. Which is funny because money becomes the main thing in divorce's.

 

Oh and 50% of the divorce rate?

How about 50% of prior parent arguments?

How about 50% of kids screaming in their pillow waiting for it to end?

How about 50% of custody battles putting an extreme amount of unneeded attention on an already emotionally unstable child.

How about 50% of f*cking degenerate children because two fracking imbeciles thought it good to argue over who gets the furniture and the dog, and the kid without asking the kid WHO HE WANTS TO BE WITH!?

 

Personally I think you should completely ditch the idea and live a nice life with your girlfriend not buying into this magical, white dress ridden, BS people call marriage. However, I get a feeling that wouldn't get anywhere, so I am just going to say GET HER A RING! However, you already stated you are getting a ring, so I say, go with tradition. Why you might ask? Well, mostly because women hate it when you break tradition in marriage. That, and they always mean the opposite of what they say when they say they are fine.

[Aix]

This kid in my class apparently proposed to his girlfriend... he's 14 :O

[.Spock]

I never plan to get married.

 

I wish my parents would divorce already. There is literally no point in being in this family. It's broken as it is. I don't see preserving the broken shards of glass as logical, to say the least.

 

Everyone in my family gets into physical confrontations. My right forearm is currently fractured because I blocked one of my dad's punches with it 2 days ago.

 

My advise, from someone who has seen it both ways? Love shouldn't involve spending money or 'tying bonds', it should already be done. If you want to spend thousands of pounds/dollars on her; feel free. At the end of the day, it's not worth it and it doesn't demonstrate true love.

 

Oh, and if you do decide to get married; be sure to buy her an Akutsuki ring.  

[Agro]

BECUZ ITS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING EVER AND IT IS LIEK IMPORTANT YOU DO IT THE WAY 90% OF ALL PEOPLE DO EET!

 

LOL I fracking hate marriage. The idea of it pisses me off, everything revolving around it pisses me off. I can't stand the money put into it, I can't stand the longstanding ceremony, I can't stand the priest saying that he has now acknowledged that you two are together in bond, and I can't f*cking stand how the benefits are part of it. Which is funny because money becomes the main thing in divorce's.

 

Oh and 50% of the divorce rate?

How about 50% of prior parent arguments?

How about 50% of kids screaming in their pillow waiting for it to end?

How about 50% of custody battles putting an extreme amount of unneeded attention on an already emotionally unstable child.

How about 50% of f*cking degenerate children because two fracking imbeciles thought it good to argue over who gets the furniture and the dog, and the kid without asking the kid WHO HE WANTS TO BE WITH!?

You have successfully posted EVERYTHING about marriage and about EVERYTHING that marriage is. Congratulations.

[Sunshine Jesse]

BECUZ ITS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING EVER AND IT IS LIEK IMPORTANT YOU DO IT THE WAY 90% OF ALL PEOPLE DO EET!

 

LOL I fracking hate marriage. The idea of it pisses me off, everything revolving around it pisses me off. I can't stand the money put into it, I can't stand the longstanding ceremony, I can't stand the priest saying that he has now acknowledged that you two are together in bond, and I can't f*cking stand how the benefits are part of it. Which is funny because money becomes the main thing in divorce's.

 

Oh and 50% of the divorce rate?

How about 50% of prior parent arguments?

How about 50% of kids screaming in their pillow waiting for it to end?

How about 50% of custody battles putting an extreme amount of unneeded attention on an already emotionally unstable child.

How about 50% of f*cking degenerate children because two fracking imbeciles thought it good to argue over who gets the furniture and the dog, and the kid without asking the kid WHO HE WANTS TO BE WITH!?

 

 

You're so bitter. I wonder why.

[Merci]

Marriage is like a video game. It's pointless, has little to no benefits, and wastes money. But people play it anyway, because it's an interesting concept, and entertaining - at first, anyway. Every single day you have to keep on grinding more and more EXP/money, and every day is a new level that gets even harder. Do you ever get that feeling, after so much frustration over a video game, like you wanna smash your game console? People tell you to relax and enjoy it, but it's difficult.

 

Marriage is like that, only on a more real-life scale. And on a much more ancient scale, spanning millenniums and generations. I don't think parents would like it if their children go 'we will not marry!'.

 

Am I the only person on this forum who is romantic and thinks of love as sacred? The whole point of marriage is to get two individuals dedicated to each other, so all the playboys and whores can back off when they say 'I'm married', and I can't imagine ever cheating on my girl. The whole point is to forge an unbreakable pact, and it's this flawed modern life where people are acting more and more rational, with millions of childhood dreams thrown into the trash can every single day, that's abusing this 'unbreakable pact'. Honestly, somebody should just genetically engineer all babies to fall in love once, and only once so we don't get all these divorces. People are not supposed to divorce. That's the whole point of marriage. It's not like a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. It's sacred. There may not be a god, but it still weighs in your heart.

 

But of course, I admit that there are flaws. Two people can easily get tired of each other and want to get out - which is in fact how a huge majority of humanity feel, and I can't really go against that. But that's why divorces happen. The question one must ask before marrying is; will I ever get tired of this man/woman?  And the answer will always be yes - a flaw in humanity's instinct versus tradition mindset.

 

Am I rambling? I'll clarify; I love tradition, and I love the concept of proposing and marriage. It makes a weight in your heart, forcing you to move forward with life. It's a stage in life, and to not carry that weight? To me, that's like refusing to grow up and accept this harsh reality.

 

Still, I don't distinguish between male and female. A woman proposing to a man is perfectly acceptable in my opinion, and I'd much rather prefer it, to be honest. And as Itama said;

 

IMO I think it should be free to decide. But the it is traditional for the man to give the ring. And it is a boost of confidence if you ask me. If you can get the ring, she'll probably fall over for anything you do for her.

[Agro]

I like how people who probably aren't even 25 are talking about marriage and life as if they know everything about it.

 

How many of you have actually been married?

[.Spock]

Cool your tits, Agro. Because;

 

[Grunt Issun]

Marriage is not a sacred concept at all.

It might be considered one nowadays, but the base concept of it wasn't.

 

The most important thing marriage did a few centuries ago was combine two already powerful families and make them both into more powerful families. Little to no marriages were completely for love. Sure, some people loved their spouses, but they'd rarely get to choose their spouse on their own, their parents would always have at least some say, if not outright deciding it, like the Lords and Ladies almost always did.

 

I really can't say I know anything about romance, or marriage, or anything like that, but all I'm saying is that I don't think that marriage needs to be so lavish. It's just a thing that binds two people legally. 

[~ P O L A R I S ~]

I overreacted here, my apologies. The ring is a mere trinket and shouldn't even matter so long as you love one another. Alas, it's important enough to her that she receive the ring that her love for you isn't enough to make her any less reluctant about the idea of inverting the symbolically charged burden, so you must take it upon yourself to follow your traditional gender role and pay up so as not to alienate her, however played out and sexist that might be. You already know that though, which is fortunate. Such is romance.

[Night]

The amount of ignorance in this thread is revolting.

[D.A._Sakuyamon]

The amount of ignorance in this thread is revolting.

Ignorance from who?

 

EDIT:

* from who

(Don't correct my spelling)

[Exiro]

Ignorance from who?

 

From whom.

[Tourmaline]

The amount of ignorance in this thread is revolting.

Disgusting waste of a post.


Anyway.
I personality don't care much for marriage nor the tradition of the male proposing. I think two people should have the entire process happen in whatever way makes them comfortable, even if it does go against a few norms. As a whole, though, I don't think marriage is required for two people to show their love or prove their relationship, but that doesn't mean they can't do it if it'll make them feel closer to each other.