[Sleepy] Angelic Sentinel

[Sleepy]

I got this idea from looking at another topic about a hand Trap, so I decided to try my hand at one.

 

 

This card in your hand must remain revealed. When a player Summons a monster(s): You can discard this card to target that card(s); destroy them and send them to the Graveyard. Then, your opponent can choose any number of them and take 800 damage for each. Your opponent adds to the hand the monster(s) they did not choose.

 

 

-It doesn't return to the hand if it doesn't destroy first.

-Your opponent says what stays in the Graveyard and what goes to their hand.

-Remains revealed, just adding pressure at "when" it'll be used instead of "if" it is around, which is a balancing factor for being a hand trap (making it untouchable by conventional means).

 

A hand trap that destroys, it's a very risky concept that needs to be dealt with in a certain way.

 

Thoughts, suggestions?

[Ziliath]

OCG fix
This card in your hand must remain revealed at all times. When a player Summons a monster(s): You can discard this card from your hand to target that monster(s); destroy them and return them to the hand from the graveyard, And if you do the monsters(s) original owner can pay 800 Life Points to prevent a card returning to the hand by this cards effect for each card sent.


In any case, I don't know why I would want to pay to not return a card to my had, sure some cards I want in the GY, but I can re summon it again or use it at another time, but the price is too high I would not pay it. Perhaps for cards like plagespreader zombie or spore sure but any other card, not to mention cards that go to the GY get activated end then added to the hand resolving out of the graveyard only to be used again,

[Sleepy]

OCG fix
This card in your hand must remain revealed at all times. When a player Summons a monster(s): You can discard this card from your hand to target that monster(s); destroy them and return them to the hand from the graveyard, And if you do the monsters(s) original owner can pay 800 Life Points to prevent a card returning to the hand by this cards effect for each card sent.


In any case, I don't know why I would want to pay to not return a card to my had, sure some cards I want in the GY, but I can re summon it again or use it at another time, but the price is too high I would not pay it. Perhaps for cards like plagespreader zombie or spore sure but any other card, not to mention cards that go to the GY get activated end then added to the hand resolving out of the graveyard only to be used again,

Yes a Sangan would resolve even if it goes back to the hand (I guess). That's intentional. You won't use it on Sangan, Dandylion, and the like obviously.

Plaguespreader would be banished regardless of this card if it was Summoned by it's own effect.

 

You pay in various occations actually.

When something that can't just be Normal Summoned from your hand again is destroyed, but you have reviving effects and no real ways to Summon it again.

Be it BLS, Synchros, Xyzs, Fusions, Rituals, nomi/semi-nomi monsters.

 

It's not meant to be easy to work around because the concept of hand Traps is very easily breakable. Especially a Quick Effect that can destroy more than 1 monster.

[Darj]

Even after Ziliath's fix, the effect still looks odd, to me. I think you could take the effect of General Raiho as an example, whose effect first requests the opponent to pay the cost, and if he/she doesn't the effect continues normally.

 

Fix:

This card in your hand must remain revealed. When a player Summons a monster(s): You can discard this card to target that monster(s); your opponent can choose any number of the Summoned monsters and pay 800 Life Points for each. Then destroy the monsters not chosen by the opponent and return them to the hand.

 

Onto the effect, I think the reveal effect is a clever way to keep this card balanced. However, the effect looks underwhelming because, in my opinion, paying 800 is a low price for keeping the Synchro/Xyz/Fusion monster I am summoning, probably I wouldn't mind an Effect monster being returned to my hand while you -1 yourself, and I wouldn't swarm knowing you got this in hand.

 

Sangan shouldn't trigger because following this card's effect, the monsters shouldn't hit the Graveyard at any time. If that was your intention, then the effect should be something like:

"destroy those monsters and sent them to the Graveyard. Then return them from the Graveyard to the hand".

 

Personally, I think this card would be just fine if it actually destroyed and sent the monster(s) to the Graveyard as you are already giving the opponent the upper hand by letting him/her know when this card is in your hand, and give him/her the chance of playing around it (It would be more of a BTH your opponent knows you have set).

In other words, just by having this card in your hand you would be applying pressure on smart players while punishing the bad ones, which is a concept I find interesting.

[Sleepy]

Even after Ziliath's fix, the effect still looks odd, to me. I think you could take the effect of General Raiho as an example, whose effect first requests the opponent to pay the cost, and if he/she doesn't the effect continues normally.

 

Fix:

This card in your hand must remain revealed. When a player Summons a monster(s): You can discard this card to target that monster(s); your opponent can choose any number of the Summoned monsters and pay 800 Life Points for each. Then destroy the monsters not chosen by the opponent and return them to the hand.

 

Onto the effect, I think the reveal effect is a clever way to keep this card balanced. However, the effect looks underwhelming because, in my opinion, paying 800 is a low price for keeping the Synchro/Xyz/Fusion monster I am summoning, probably I wouldn't mind an Effect monster being returned to my hand while you -1 yourself, and I wouldn't swarm knowing you got this in hand.

 

Sangan shouldn't trigger because following this card's effect, the monsters shouldn't hit the Graveyard at any time. If that was your intention, then the effect should be something like:

"destroy those monsters and sent them to the Graveyard. Then return them from the Graveyard to the hand".

 

Personally, I think this card would be just fine if it actually destroyed and sent the monster(s) to the Graveyard as you are already giving the opponent the upper hand by letting him/her know when this card is in your hand, and give him/her the chance of playing around it (It would be more of a BTH your opponent knows you have set).

In other words, just by having this card in your hand you would be applying pressure on smart players while punishing the bad ones, which is a concept I find interesting.

Thank you.

Actually, I didn't updated the lore after Ziliath's comment. It sounded awkward as well and I needed another opinion.

The idea is that the monster(s) will be destroyed either way, but you pay for the right to have them stay in the Graveyard instead of going back to your hand.

Thanks to your fix I now know how to write that, and that "destroy and send to the Graveyard" bit is important to add. I'll keep it in mind.

 

Sadly I have to go to school now, but I'll update it when I get back.

Really really thank you. It's exactly the help I needed.

 

EDIT:

5 hours later, I'm back, and I just finished updating~

[Darj]

The effect is more clear now, but the way this card lets both players target the same cards feels strange; I don't think any official card does this.

This can be solved easily: simply make the following change:

 

When a player Summons a monster(s): You can discard this card to target that monster(s), then your opponent...

 

If you want your card to have a more official feeling, use "did not" instead of "didn't" for the last effect. I mention this because "did not" has been used for official cards such as Red-Eyes Wyvern and Red Dragon Archfiend, while "didn't" has not been used for any card yet.

[Sleepy]

The effect is more clear now, but the way this card lets both players target the same cards feels strange; I don't think any official card does this.

This can be solved easily: simply make the following change:

 

When a player Summons a monster(s): You can discard this card to target that monster(s), then your opponent...

 

If you want your card to have a more official feeling, use "did not" instead of "didn't" for the last effect. I mention this because "did not" has been used for official cards such as Red-Eyes Wyvern and Red Dragon Archfiend, while "didn't" has not been used for any card yet.

Oh I see.

I hope that wouldn't be problematic for the card's balance that it stops having the drawback of anti-targeting effects. It sounds convenient otherwise.

 

EDIT:

I changed the pay for damage so I could move it out of the cost.

Your opponent no longer "targets" along with you. They "choose" after the monster(s) is destroyed.

Hopefully the last line is not too vague.

[dandandalaxy]

I don't know whether it's just me... but the last sentence doesn't make sense.

It's a good card, I like the concept, you should do to return the monsters to hand your opponent pays 100x the level of the monster. So they could be paying anything from 100-1200.

:D

[Sleepy]

I don't know whether it's just me... but the last sentence doesn't make sense.

It's a good card, I like the concept, you should do to return the monsters to hand your opponent pays 100x the level of the monster. So they could be paying anything from 100-1200.

:D

 

That's what I feared.

Thanks. I conciderated that just now, but the Levels 1 - 4 are the easiest ones to Summon from the hand, on top of the cheapest ones by that system. It seems a bit unfair for the heaviest monsters to need extra effort to appear and cost more too. Also, you are "paying" for the monsters to not return to the hand.

 

EDIT:

Oh oh.. I think I have an idea of how to word that first sentence.

*goes back to card maker*

[Toffee.]

I just noticed that this would be hilariously cruel with something like Chain Energy.
That aside, it seems like this card would be pretty hard to get some millage out of. Unless they deliberately wanted stuff to be destroyed, as a means of setting off specific effects.
My ramblings aside-
It's an interesting card, but slightly situational.