Ardens, the Chimera [UPDATED]

[BT]

Secret Rare left; Rare right

[spoiler=Effect:]

Cannot be Normal Summoned/Set. Must first be Special Summoned by Tributing 2 Pyro-Type monsters. If you Special Summon this card, you cannot Normal Summon/Set this turn. While face-up on the field, this card is also Dragon-Type and Reptile-Type. When this card is Summoned: You can destroy up to 4 Pyro-Type monsters you control; Inflict damage to your opponent equal to half the sum of the destroyed monsters' ATK. (This card cannot declare an attack the turn this turn.) If this card attacks a Defense Position monster, inflict piercing battle damage to your opponent. Once per turn, you can banish up to 3 Pyro-Type monsters in your Graveyard: Active 1 of the following effects: (and if you do, this card cannot attack this turn.)

• For each card banished, target 1 Set card your opponent controls: Banish the targets.

• For each card banished, your opponent must randomly discard 1 card from his/her hand.

• For each card banished, target 1 monster your opponent controls: The target loses 1000 ATK and DEF for 5 turns. (If the targets' ATK is reduced to 0 by this effect: Destroy this target.)[/spoiler]

 

This is my return card! I hope you guys like it ^^!

[Ren✧]

Glad to see you back into card making, however you have been gone awhile and it shows.

 

To start the card is nigh impossible to summon. There is no consistent deck that I can think of that would be able to summon this monster out consistently enough to be a focal point for a deck. In fact, I can't think of viable deck that would even run this card as a tech. The need for a beast, reptile, and dragon monster to be banished in order to get this card on the field makes this card far more trouble than it is worth, no matter what effects come after, save an instant win upon summoning clause. What happens next is you have tacked on one effect after another that don't seem to correlate. I see how you are trying to incorporate the flavor of the Chimera from mythology, but including three effects that have no synergy with another, or really any viable deck option, makes this card altogether unusable. 

 

As for how to fix these problems...you can't. I would suggest is going back over the card and starting from scratch. Find a deck/playstyle that you would want this card to be used and go from there. Creating an interesting card is one thing, creating a balanced, usable, and original card is another. I also suggest to take it easy with all the effects. I know that it might look good in the moment, but let me assure you that it is an eye sore for any reviewer and unless the effects have awesome synergy either with each other or with possible outside support, they aren't worth your time. 

 

I commend your attention to flavor and lore, it is very apparent what you are trying to do. However, throwing a bunch of effects on to a card that is nearly impossible to summon is not the best way to go about it.

 

Glad that you are back, friend, and I hope you'll stick with us for a while longer :D

[BT]

I see what you're saying Renegade. I'll take that into consideration. I'll try to rehaul the card, balance it, etc
I'll probably just focus on the fire breathing, since all mythological writing has it

[BT]

BUMP

 

The card's effect and type has been updated to be more cohesive. (I have no idea if it has worked or not, so sorry if I ruined the card)

[Ren✧]

You fell into the same trap as before. You created a Winged Beast, that relies on Pyros, that can be counted as a Dragon and Reptile. No cohesiveness. There is no competitive deck that I can think of that uses a great deal of Pyros, making this card again incredibly hard to summon and have a competitive deck. 

 

 

 

When this card is Summoned: You can destroy up to 4 Pyro-Type monsters you control; Inflict damage to your opponent equal to half the sum of the destroyed monsters' ATK. (This card cannot declare an attack the turn this turn.) 

 

You cannot use this effect to its fullest extent. When you summon it, you will have to tribute 2 monsters, meaning at most your field is down to three monsters(however even this is highly unlikely), then when this card is summoned to the field you have a total of four monsters...but this card isn't a pyro type so it can destroy itself, meaning at most you will only be able to destroy 3 monsters for this effect. 

 

Honestly I didn't bother to keep up with the rest of the effects because the heavy reliance on Pyro monsters makes the card overall unusable. If you are stuck on using the fire breathing lore to fuel your card effect, make sure you know the current meta game in relation to FIRE monsters. Most FIRE monsters that are used right now are Beast-Warrior or Winged Beast monsters. This card could be used to support the Fire King Avatar monsters quite well, but it needs some major tailoring before it gets to that point. Take another crack at it

[BT]

You fell into the same trap as before. You created a Winged Beast, that relies on Pyros, that can be counted as a Dragon and Reptile. No cohesiveness. There is no competitive deck that I can think of that uses a great deal of Pyros, making this card again incredibly hard to summon and have a competitive deck. 

Volcanic isn't competitive? (I don't know much about competitive.)

 

If I change Pyro-Type to FIRE and remove the type thing (I only did those for Equip Cards and Field Spells) and change 4 to 3 would it work better?

[Ren✧]

Volcanic isn't competitive? (I don't know much about competitive.)

 

If I change Pyro-Type to FIRE and remove the type thing (I only did those for Equip Cards and Field Spells) and change 4 to 3 would it work better?

 

It would be better, but I still urge you to rethink the effect. Volcanics aren't very competitive. I know there are a few decks circulating that use them in conjunction with Traptrix monsters, but other than that, you don't really see them much. Most often, Fire Fists and Fire Kings are used, occasionally you see an Evol deck. I think you should look into those cards and go at the effect from there. What you seem to think is that quantity=creativity & quality, but that is not the case. Look at more simple, useful effects instead

[Toffee.]

This seems gimmicky. Effect wise, it's fine. I'm only saying gimmicky because being tied to Pyro-Types makes it a little weird. Don't get me wrong, I love the fact this card is unusual and interesting, just seems to be a little on the slow side, if only because Pyros aren't exactly the fastest Type on the block.
Although, to give it a little more playability you could swap Pyro in the self-summoning part with FIRE. Mostly because you could get it to the field easier, and THEN worry about having enough Pyros to do the rest.

[BT]

This seems gimmicky. Effect wise, it's fine. I'm only saying gimmicky because being tied to Pyro-Types makes it a little weird. Don't get me wrong, I love the fact this card is unusual and interesting Thanks., just seems to be a little on the slow side, if only because Pyros aren't exactly the fastest Type on the block.
Although, to give it a little more playability you could swap Pyro in the self-summoning part with FIRE. Mostly because you could get it to the field easier, and THEN worry about having enough Pyros to do the rest. So just switch Pyro to FIRE for summoning?

 

It would be better, but I still urge you to rethink the effect. ... What you seem to think is that quantity=creativity & quality, but that is not the case. Look at more simple, useful effects instead

...hmm... I'll have to look at those... and come up with a simpler effect. So the effect isn't creative?

[Ren✧]

...hmm... I'll have to look at those... and come up with a simpler effect. So the effect isn't creative?

 

Honestly, it really isn't, at least in my opinion. You have a few creative points here and there, but there is honestly just too going on with effect for me. When you throw in things like the monster being treated as Reptile and Dragon type, and piercing damage, it takes away from the overall appeal. Very rarely will these effects be of any great use, and as such are just clutter in the card's effect

[Darj]

The problem I see on this card is that is has too many effects. The multiple choice effects + the piercing effect makes it way too versatile: As an opponent, you cannot defend against this card because it pierces, if you Set any cards it can banish them, and if you don't, it can still banish them from your hand. All of that backed up with a whooping ATK of 3200.
 
I see you attempted to balance the effects with the summoning condition, the no-attacking restrictions plus requiring Pyros in the grave to activate its most dangerous effect(s), but really, I think that resorting to cramming a card with restrictions is the wrong way for balancing a card.
 
My suggestion is to make it more simple, and when you do, it should become easier to play. This is just an idea, but how about turning it into some sort of BLS for Pyros? That is:
- Drop its ATK  to 2700~3000, the standard for Level 8 main Deck bosses (Hyperion, Garunix, etc.)
- Instead of Tributing 2 Pyros for its Summon, banish 2 Pyros from the graveyard.
- Get rid of the piercing and destroy-to-burn effects.
- From the multiple-choice effects, only keep 1 and limit the # of Pyros you can banish as cost to 1 or perhaps 2 so you won't be able to generate crazy advantage.

[BT]

The problem I see on this card is that is has too many effects. The multiple choice effects + the piercing effect makes it way too versatile: As an opponent, you cannot defend against this card because it pierces, if you Set any cards it can banish them, and if you don't, it can still banish them from your hand. All of that backed up with a whooping ATK of 3200.
 
I see you attempted to balance the effects with the summoning condition, the no-attacking restrictions plus requiring Pyros in the grave to activate its most dangerous effect(s), but really, I think that resorting to cramming a card with restrictions is the wrong way for balancing a card.
 
My suggestion is to make it more simple, and when you do, it should become easier to play. This is just an idea, but how about turning it into some sort of BLS for Pyros? That is:
- Drop its ATK  to 2700~3000, the standard for Level 8 main Deck bosses (Hyperion, Garunix, etc.)
- Instead of Tributing 2 Pyros for its Summon, banish 2 Pyros from the graveyard.
- Get rid of the piercing and destroy-to-burn effects.
- From the multiple-choice effects, only keep 1 and limit the # of Pyros you can banish as cost to 1 or perhaps 2 so you won't be able to generate crazy advantage.

Thank you! Those tips will help