Power-Up Warrior

[JessicaMuddy]

I'm guessing that Xyz are supposed to have a set number of tribute monsters, but oh well. Here is my not-very-creatively-named monster, the Power-Up Warrior!

As always, feedback and stuff is good! I want to become good at creating balanced cards.

[Spinny]

3 level 5's for a 3k beater that destroys itself after three turns is underwhelming TBH.

I suggest you take a look at Tiras and Rhongomiant, they have similar effects and are pretty good.

It just needs more reasons for the restriction youve put on it.

[Mizore-Shirayuki]

I like the card. Its pretty balanced.

 

I fixed the text to be more official for you. Thats the only thing I found with it.

 

This card's ATK is 1000x the number of Xyz materials used for its Xyz summon. During each of your turns, before you end your turn: Detach 1 Xyz material from this card. When this card has no Xyz materials, destroy it.

[Peridank]

MY LITTLE SNOW BUNNY!!! lol But on a serious note... the card does need more of an effect, like "While face up on the field, your opponent cannot activate Trap Cards" it goes with the concept of being able to break threw the traps with his might.

[Mizore-Shirayuki]

Completely locking your opponent out of a card type is too broken for this card. 

 

If you really want something like that then I'd add:

 

Negate the effects of a Trap Cards that target this card.

[Peridank]

But it would only last 3 turns... that being said, the fact it keeps it's 3000 ATK for only for the first turn... making it ok. But with the target idea... how about changing that to the card is unaffected, giving access to magic cylinder. Defense Draw, etc. while protecting it from Mirror force, Fiendish chain etc. ? I mean it beats what I said...

[Spinny]

@Kuriboh

It keeps its attack stat it orginally whilst its face-up on the field.

notice it says, its attack is equal to the amount of monsters used to summon it, meaning its attack stat is definite.

Other then that an unaffected by traps effect would be pretty good.

[Mizore-Shirayuki]

@Kuriboh 

  

Being completly unaffected by an entire type of card is "Unreasonable". Being untargetable stops PWWB, DP, Feindish, Magic Cylinder etc. That is enough. 

And ONLY 3 turns? 3 turns is more than enough to win the game. 

 

You have to keep a weakness for how powerful this card is. It is 3K most of the time you'd play it, it stays for 5 turns (3 of yours and 2 of your opponents). So I think asking for it to die to Mirror Force when you dont have a lance isnt too much to ask. lol

[AGATHODAIMON BANGTAIL COW]

Actually, this card is bad, like really bad. Firstly, it is COMPLETELY outclassed by Digvorzhak, who does something other than beat things AND still has more ATK. I compared it to Digvorzhak since I swear it was originally a 3-mat monster, but even as a 2-mat it's completely worthless as the other Rank 5s in the game have more than 2k ATK and effects. The only way to make this card offer something that other Rank 5s don't is to use a ton of monsters, but that's incredibly wasteful considering you could just deal the same amount of damage, if not more, with Volca (and Volca only costs 2 Level 5s, which isn't a ton of monsters).

 

Then there is the lack of effect, obviously. Since it currently does not have an effect, it will only be made for punching things in the face, or for random Rank-Up shenanigans. However, there's Volcasaurus if you need a FIRE, and that Ninja guy who can protect from effect destruction if you need a Warrior, so the Rank-Up argument would never work. Being a huge beater is nice-ish, kinda, but keep in mind that Volca exists, who can usually deal more damage using its effect. Another problem is that this card does not have a base attack, which turns it into an explosive barrel because of Breakthrough Skill (making you minus yourself majorly and take damage).

 

This card does need an effect, but what it really needs is to be completely changed so that it doesn't become completely inferior to Volcasaurus just because Volca can burn for 2k+ damage (most of the time). It needs to fill in a niche.

[Yemachu]

2 or more Level 5 monsters
This monster's ATK is equal to the number of monsters used for the Xyz Summon of this monster x1000. Once per turn: You must detach one Xyz Material from this monster (This is not optional). When this monster no longer has any Xyz Material, destroy this card.

To get this card out on the field, we need at least 2 Level 5 monsters. Lets say "Cyber Dragon" (ATK 2100 / DEF 1600) and "The Tricky" (ATK 2000 / DEF 1200), they are about as powerful as this card in regard to their ATK (considering you do not use a third, fourth or fifth); but they do not selfdestruct. But lets take a look at some cards that compete with this card for a spot in your Extra Deck; we have:

• "Number 61: Volcasaurus" (ATK 2500 / DEF 1000): Destroys a targeted monster and inflicts effect damage according to that targets ATK;
• "Tiras, Keeper of Genesis" (ATK 2600 / DEF 1700): While it has Xyz Materials, it cannot be destroyed by card effects and it can destroy a card at the end of battle. Detaches Xyz Material, but does not selfdestruct;
• "Shark Fortress" (ATK 2400 / DEF 1800): Can have a monster attack twice, and restricts opposing attacks;
• "Constellar Pleiades" (ATK 2500 / DEF 1500): Once per turn it can return 1 card on the field to the owner's 'hand', and that during either player's turn. Only disadvantage is that it requires LIGHT monsters.

In case you want to use 3 Level 5 monsters for a 3000 ATK beatstick, rather than 2000, it faces competition from "Digvorzhak, King of Heavy Industry" (ATK 3200 / DEF 2000); which can destroy the opposing player's Deck (somewhat of a bad idea nowadays) and, depending on the sent card, destroy some cards your oppoenent controls. If you wanted to make this card a 4000 ATK monster, you would need 4 monsters; which, in my opinion, are better used for the Xyz Summon of "Number C69: Heraldry Crest of Horror" (ATK 4000 / DEF 1800). That monster destroys all cards your opponent controls, when they attack. Also there it the point that you normally would summon that card with a "Rank-Up-Magic" Spell card.
 
There are some other monsters with a varying amount of Xyz Materials. "Number C5: Chaos Chimera Dragon" is the most similar to this card, as it gains 1000 ATK for each Xyz Material; but it also can attack multiple times per battle phase, refuel its Xyz Materials and it does not selfdestruct. "Hazy Flame Basiltrice" and "Number 86: Heroic Champion - Rhongomiant" gain multiple (strong) effects depending on the amount of Xyz Materials attached.
 
It might not come as a surprise that I think this card is a bit underwhelming, to say the least. But what to do to improve it? There are quite a lot of options, and my advise would be to look at some of the above cards for inspiration. Though if you do not want to change it all too much, I would give it a base ATK (2000 maybe) and have it gain more attack based on the Xyz Materials. Another option would be to have it gain some more ATK (1500~2000) per Xyz Material, though this makes it extremely weak to "Skill Drain" / "Breakthrough Skill" / "Shrink"; as these cards, among others, cause its ATK to become 0.
 
And with that I conclude this rather long post. I hope you have some usage for my vision/suggestions.

[JessicaMuddy]

So after reading a bunch of stuff, I have created an improved version of the Power-Up Warrior (Which is probably overpowered now).

2 or more Level 5 Monsters

This card's ATK is 1200x the number of Xyz materials used for its Xyz summon. When a trap card targets this monster as its only target, you may detatch one Xyz material from this monster: Negate the trap, and if you do destroy it. When this monster destroys another monster as a result of battle place one "Power-Up Counter" on this monster. Any "Power-Up Counter" on this monster is treated as Xyz material. Once per turn: You must detach one Xyz material from this monster (This is not optional). When this monster no longer has any Xyz material, destroy this card.

 

Discuss!

[Spinny]

Ditch the counter system please ^^, you could simplify it so easily by attaching the monsters it destroys as materials.

 

2 or more Level 5 Monsters

This card's ATK is 1200x the number of Xyz materials used for its Xyz summon.This card cannot be targeted by the opponent's trap cards. When this monster destroys a face-up attack position monster as a result of battle, Attach that monster to this card as an xyz material.Once per turn, During the end phase: You must detach one Xyz material from this monster (This is not optional). During your opponents Standby phase, if this monster no longer has any Xyz material, destroy this card.

 

Better?

 

Its pretty balanced now, since it can still be hit by mirror force and other non-target cards, you can play around it by setting your monsters, and also if you only use 2 monsters its easily overpowered by other monsters.

[JessicaMuddy]

Edited again.

 

 

 

Ditch the counter system please ^^, you could simplify it so easily by attaching the monsters it destroys as materials.

 

2 or more Level 5 Monsters

This card's ATK is 1200x the number of Xyz materials used for its Xyz summon. This card cannot be targeted by the opponent's trap cards. When this monster destroys a face-up attack position monster as a result of battle, Attach that monster to this card as an xyz material.Once per turn, During the end phase: You must detach one Xyz material from this monster (This is not optional). During your opponents Standby phase, if this monster no longer has any Xyz material, destroy this card.

I don't want it to just be unaffected by traps, and I think detaching Xyz material makes it more balanced, especially with the renewable Xyz material thing now.

 

 

2 or more Level 5 Monsters

This card's ATK is 1200x the number of Xyz materials used for its Xyz summon. When a trap card targets this monster as its only target, you may detatch one Xyz material from this monster: Negate the trap, and if you do destroy it. When this monster destroys another monster as a result of battle, attach the destroyed monster to this card as Xyz material. Once per turn: You must detach one Xyz material from this monster (This is not optional). When this monster no longer has any Xyz material, destroy this card.

[Spinny]

Its not completely unaffected by traps though, i get what you mean but he wont last that long even with his attaching effect.

 

 

 When this monster destroys another monster as a result of battle, attach the destroyed monster to this card as Xyz material.

i said that the monster he destroys has to be in attack position so you can play around him.

 

Detaching to not be targetted by something is fairly underwhelming, considering tiras has a pretty good immunity and instead of a ataching effect he has a destruction one. So i dont think that not being targeted is a massively Powerful effect, bearing in mind bottomless still works on it and similar cards like that.

[AGATHODAIMON BANGTAIL COW]

Its ATK is still a little subpar at 2-mats, which is disappointing for a beatstick type of monster, but attaching monsters it kills by battle is actually pretty great for getting around Hands. Aside from Pleiades, who isn't generic, no other Rank 5 can do this (Tiras has immunity to death via Fire Hand, but you can just hit another monster instead). Making it only attach attack-position monsters like that other guy is suggesting would still make it where a face-down Hand would still ruin everything. It's a nice thing, but it's still not really enough to make this card automatically good. It's still just a beatstick, though, and at 2-mats, it will still be weaker than Tiras or Volca in terms of ATK alone. I would suggest changing around the ATK boost to where at 2-mats it would equal Tiras, though I don't like the idea of 1300 per material. Having mid-to-high 3000s for an ATK at 3-mats is kind-of concerning even if the rest of the card is mediocre at best. This is why I really think that this monster should have some sort of base ATK and the ATK is gains from materials should be lowered to compensate. This would also be beneficial since you have to detach to negate targeting Traps, and losing 1200 just to avoid being bounced most likely means that you will lose whatever battle you were going into if your opponent plays CED or PWWB or whatever when you're attacking. Sure, you can detach to keep the monster on the field, but at this point it would have very little worth for having so little ATK. It would need to be Summoned at 3-mats to still have a chance to run over something, and even then spending 3 Level 5s on that is a ripoff if you could just Summon Digvorzhak or something.

[Peridank]

I'm sorry it was confused... any how... I like this new version better then the old one, (again sorry) but I do see a issue with how hard it is to keep this card on the field, but that might do it well lol. Just think to your self if it's too hard or better yet, go and test it out!

[Radiant F.U.R.Y.™]

Grammar is a bit off. Here's my edit (without changing the effect)

 

2 or more (max 5) Level 5 monsters

This card gains 1200 ATK for each Xyz Material used to Xyz Summon this card. When a Trap Card that targets this card is activated, you can detach 1 Xyz Material from this card; negate that activation and destroy it. When this card destroys your opponent's monster by battle, attach the destroyed monster to this card as a face-up Xyz Material. Once per turn, detach 1 Xyz Material from this card. If this card has no Xyz Materials, destroy it.

 

It's an interesting card, but as others have stated, it's a bit under-powered. I would give it 1400 or 1500 atk per material and keep it at 2 materials (Maybe set max at 3). Also, you should specify when during each of your turns do you remove a material. I would recommend replacing "Once per turn" with "During each of your Standby Phases"

Also, a few things to remember when writing effects:

-Never say "may"...say "can"

-numbers are always written as numbers (example: 1 instead of one)

-If an effect says "you can" then it's optional. If it doesn't, then it's usually mandatory. There is no need for the parenthetical "this is not optional"