[Serious] What's the point of anything any more?

[Resident Fascist]

It seems no matter what I do to try and lift myself out of this endless hole of despair, I end up falling back down into it. I'm beginning to believe the only way I can ever be truly at peace is to disappear forever. After all, I'm only ever happy in my unconscious. My dreams. If that's the case, what's the point of ever being in what we call reality? Why continue? What's the grand purpose? I feel like I'm just a cog in the gear and I'm unfit for my purpose. I feel completely broken and pointless to human evolution. I feel different from everyone else, I can't feel happiness within myself, I can't be happy with myself, and I hate being me. I would do almost anything to be someone else. I wish I were different entirely. But I can never have those things. So what's the point of chasing a dream you can never reach? Why not just give up, curl up and die? What's the point in continuing to exist if I'll never be happy?

 

 Ultimately, I feel like I exist for everyone else. If I were to suddenly die, it would hurt too many people. It's too selfish to do that and I know, but I have no hope for anything to change. Why is everyone else around me entitled to this happiness and contention feeling, yet I feel uneasy and broken? Everywhere I see people being happy, and I feel jealous because I'm never going to feel that like this. My anti-depressants aren't doing anything. Maybe they're keeping me from flying completely off the handle. But what's the point, I'm just masking how I feel. I lack the courage to do anything about my situation, and ultimately - I feel completely powerless. And people believed at one point I began to claw my way out of depression. For a brief 4 to 5 month period, I appeared to be happy. But inside, I was facing extreme inner turmoil. Every day, I would fight it. Every hour, every minute, even. Probably. I'm now a lot happier knowing what's wrong, I just... Can't go forward and I can't understand why.

 

 I've not left the house for at least 3 weeks. And I'm fine with that. I want no one to see me in this state. What's the point, no one understands me anyway, except a very select few who can put up with a complete bitch who would do anything to make herself happy. I don't know what I intend to happen with this topic, I just need to get shit off my chest. I can't go on like this, yet I don't know how to proceed. I just feel at the verge of breaking and I don't know what anything really is any more.

 

[Cosmo.]

Hey, with all this despair you will turn into a witch! We certainly don't want that!

 

And screw your anti-depressants, they don't work for most people anyway! Try to break out of the shell you have created, and if it doesn't smash, try harder and harder, one day it'll break and you'll be free.

Find something that makes you happy, try new things you never did before, try to go deeper in your interests.

 

And about the human evolution thing, i'm not contributing too but there's no need for despair, everyone has a purpose and one day you'll find yours.

Stop looking at everything so negatively, there MUST BE something that makes you happy, right!

 

 

Dreams are supposed to be unreachable, they're your imaginary Utopia, and if you want them to be real, you need to work for it.

So now go and accomplish some things that make you smile, despair doesn't help anybody, yourself included.

[mitchermitcher]

There is no point to anything.

 

You decide if there's something you want to do and you do it. There's no 'greater purpose' that you need to follow. Find a way to be happy. Keep looking for it. That's why you're still alive, right? Because you still think you might find out how. You're not happy in life. Why? How much have you tried to find things to be happy about? Have you tried enough? You said you've shut yourself in for three weeks now but maybe the answer is outside. Talk to people. If you can't talk to people then find some other things to do. Try out new things, attempt something you've planned for a while. Fail that and try again. Fail again and try something else. You say you're surrounded by people who are happy and you're jealous, but those people are content with their life as is and you're not. Simply aim to be content then. Easier said than done but nothing comes without trying.

 

Also EW, anti-depressants do also repress when you feel happy, or that's what I've heard. Try not taking them in case it's true. And the guy above said the same thing too.

 

And you make these threads occasionally(I recall another one you made a while ago on a similar issue, but maybe I remember wrong) but, is there a point? You're not going to find answers on some online children card game forum. All you're really encouraging is for other people online like me to post their own philosophical replies that most likely won't save you. Are you just trying to get attention or do you desperately want answers? Either way chances are you won't find it here.

[Kyng]

Ultimately, I feel like I exist for everyone else.

This is pretty much why we exist anyway.

I had no motivation or drive until I took on responsibility that others gave or imposed upon me. Having a sweetheart also gives me damn good reason to get out of bed too.

I was in the same situation as you. What did I do?

Go out, meet people, make friends, watch your quality of life improve.

That's literally the only advice I can give you because it is the only advice that worked for me.

[Fusion X. Denver]

Have you tried talking to your parents or a therapist about this? I think they'd be the ones best suited to help you out here.

 

What I can tell you is I think the entirety of one's life is about finding their purpose. And even when finding it, your purpose will change. Whether it's finding a lover or career, having kids, traveling, your purpose will constantly change. The next one you find may only guide you along for a year or two, or it can guide you for 20. Maybe the rest of your life. And you'll add another purpose or two along the way.

Life is radically different than it was ten years ago, right? Or even five? 

I've known people who were miserable a few years back and nowadays their quality of life has improved and they're a lot happier. Don't count yourself out yet.

[Wahrheit]

 

It seems like you're having an existential crisis! Can I help?

 

I recommend reading American Nietzsche - Nietzsche had a very passionate response to the problems of existentialism, and I think you will find him compelling.

[Makο]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bavZbQHbuOk

 

This is actually very nice, though the YT subs are kinda weird at times.

 

In all honesty, we can't help you unless you determine what you want. I have these same feelings that you have, and it usually boils down one set of questions: do you want people to help you? Or do you want everyone to crowd around and be miserable with you?

 

For me, it was always the latter. I'd complain and sulk and make everyone around me feel uncomfortable, then wonder why no one wants to be around me. And sometimes I STILL do that. When I look back at it, it's really stupid of me to act that way.

 

I understand the feelings you have, and they're incredibly rough to deal with. But no anti-depressants or kind words from others will get you out of this slump. You've got to make an effort yourself. You've got to go and make action. You say you don't have a purpose? Then go out and FIND one. Go out and make one. Put yourself out there, let the world know you're still alive and kicking. Scream profusely, kick and punch things, let your jumbled emotions flow and spill and tumble and pour until they straighten themselves out.

 

I don't know you. I don't know your life's circumstances, or reasons why you ended up this way. This is exactly why it's up to you. You're the protagonist of your own story. You can sit back, glaze over, and wait for it all the end. That's a totally viable option.

 

Or you can kick the f***ing door down, and scream to the world that "I'm not f***ing done yet!"

 

...Sorry if this is a bit insensitive.

[(GigaDrillBreaker)]

One of the greatest points to life is finding your own reason for existing. Everyone has one. Everyone.