Parents

[Fusion X. Denver]

Tell us about your parents, YCM.

 

My dad's a goofball with the best intentions, I take after him like that. He'll be dependable and someone you can count on whether you're family, a friend, or even someone he used to know ages ago. And he likes talking to strangers too and meeting people, he's very social. One thing I really like about him is he sees the best in people, even if others don't. Although, he can be a little blunt and insensitive sometimes, but that's a side effect from a stroke he suffered about eight years ago. But if you looked at him today, you never would have guessed. 

He used to work in the business side of music, but he's since retired and has taken up wine and gardening as hobbies. He drinks a little more than he should, but he's a fun and caring guy overall.

 

My mom is probably the best person I know. I got to give her credit for being the sane one living in a house with 3 crazy people. Back when my dad was sick, she was the rock we all held onto. I don't think we could have done it if it wasn't for her strength and will. Not only is she hardworking, but she's also very insightful. She's always known how to make me feel better and see the other side of things I had trouble understanding. Mom also has the most grounded and fine-tuned moral compass that I've seen.

She's smart and witty too, which also makes her an incredibly social person. Mom's been a fundraiser for a school for a while now and has helped flesh out the school into a better place. I think she'll quit soon though; my parents are thinking of moving elsewhere after my sister and I graduate. 

[Makο]

Me mother is a good ole' woman, dedicated to her family and household as she can be. She's raised me, my brother, and my sister as a homeschool teacher for a good portion of our lives, and has always stayed the foundation on which we all stand. Personally, our personalities and ways of thinking sometimes clash, but we've usually gotten along. She's kind and sweet as a default, firm and harsh when life demands it.

 

My father, being the only source of income in the household, has always been the go-getter of the house, constantly our earning money both in his mainline job, and movie jobs, and working the hollywood bowl, and working the airport, and so on. He's an extremely hard worker, and is as hearty as a soul can be. Due to his line of work and the world he sees, sometimes his opinions are a bit harsh, but he's always understanding and helpful. We understand each other more than me and my mom do, and thus we can get into a lot of amazing conversations together.

 

I love my folks.

[Zauls]

Dad's most intelligent and witty person I know. He speaks with received pronunciation despite being from Birmingham (the UK one) and he is the most well-spoken person I know. He is very similar to Stephen Fry. He's 76 years old though, which is really fucking old considering I'm 18. He's 30 years older than my mum. That's something I got the piss taken out of me for when I was in school. He's also falling apart a bit. He can barely see. His flat, last time I checked, was a complete state and it stinks of cigarette smoke. He won't be able to look after himself for much longer. Despite his faults, though, I love my dad.

 

My mum is completely different. She's just a fairly normal person, though a bit strange sometimes (I suppose being strange is part of being normal). She's intelligent as well, just not as knowledgeable or experienced as my dad.

 

My parents divorced when I was a kid, and considering the way my dad is now, that was probably for the best. I really didn't mind at the time and its better because he wouldn't be able to provide if they were still together and the family would be struggling.

 

Still, love them both.

[LordCowCowCowCowCowCowCowCow]

Hmm. Well first, my parents are in their 50s so a big difference there. XD It's also funny that they're the shortest of their family. Cause I'm about 6 feet tall and my sister is five foot nine, which is pretty tall for a girl.

My parents are also divorced, when I was....5 I think. So it became pretty normal for me. Though early on it was pretty bad.

 

Anyway I don't want this getting too dark so I'll try and list good and bad.

 

Dad, the good: Most hardworking person I have ever met. Always does the best job he can possibly do. Can be really silly and hilarious, love hanging out with him even just for the jokes. Also reeeeallly good at making food.

 

Mom, the good: Imaginative, she's a bit insane but a lot of the time it can be a lot of fun. She used to do really nice charcoal drawings of animals and we have them hanging on the walls. Sadly she can't do them anymore. Also really accepting of pretty much everyone. Also really good with making food.

 

Dad, the bad: Alcoholic, can get really mean when drunk. Somewhat racist and homophobic. (I don't feel comfortable telling him I'm Bi, despite his girlfriend's daughter being gay...I think it's mostly he can't stand the idea of one of his kids being anything but straight). He is a lot better than he once was but he used to be horrible. I remember a quote from when I was younger, when talking to my older brother about MtG. "This s*** is for f*****s". I remember he got physical about it, for some reason really hated the idea of my brother playing MtG.

Paranoid conspiracy theorist. Gets worked up about this stuff and forces us to listen. Really condescending, "My way of the highway" kinda guy. Argues a LOT, can't stay with him more than a day cause of this.

 

Mom, the bad: Alchoholic. She claimed to have quit but everyday I see her "sneaking" in a six-pack....Also really manipulative, fakes being ill all the time (Which sucks cause she does get sick a lot but then she also uses it to her advantage....). She likes to claim to other people that I and my siblings don't do anything to help her, which is just not true. She does...well, nothing. She sleeps, smokes, and drinks all day.

 

*sighs* I hate that I have more bad to say...I really do. But I've seen some shitty things from both of them. I still love them and will do whatever I can to help them but, there are issues. I won't go into all of them for a multitude of reasons.

[CLG Klavier]

I don't have much to say about mine, but I got a message to everyone reading this thread: value your parents. You never know what might happen.

[bury the year]

I don't have much to say about mine, but I got a message to everyone reading this thread: value your parents. You never know what might happen.

No truer words. I love my parents more than words can say and fear to think if/when that day may come.

[Icy]

Mom: Not the best from a materialistic standpoint and her issues make translating her lessons rather difficult. But despite her concerns and traditional wrongdoings, I wouldnt ask for anything more out of her. She's an amazing mother and I am grateful to have her.

 

Father: [REDACTED].

 

Step-Dad: Pretty sure he's the second coming of the devil or something. The guy is nothing short of a monster. He was born in miserable conditions, gave up numerous chances at happiness to see his life welcome ruin again and last I checked he is very much walking in a rubble of his own creation. I talk about him the least for very good reason. All my worst memories are a direct result of his pathetic influence.

 

Step-Mom: Amazing woman. Wish I knew her better. Rest in peace Auntie Jay.

[Face McShooty]

Mother: the woman has a heart of gold, she's the one who pulled myself and my sister out of harms way and got us away from my asshole father.

Father: rather not say much.

[Instinct]

I don't have much to say about mine, but I got a message to everyone reading this thread: value your parents. You never know what might happen.

Couldn't agree more. Although I'd like to rephrase that and say value the ones who raised you, since there are instances where biological parents are unable to or incapable of doing so.

As for mine, I'm fortunate enough to have two very active parents in my life. We may have our disagreements but I realize in the end that they want what's best for me.

[Ryusei the Morning Star]

I'm 95% sure I'll be put down for edge for this, but here goes.

 

Never knew my mother, she left before I was two. I have one picture of her holding newborn me, but that's really it.

 

My father was always a very closed man, he was never particularly fond of me. I had 4 half-siblings, 4 different mothers, I guess I got the short stick. He left me around when I was 7.

 

My grandfather is the closest to a parents I have had. (Actually paternal great-uncle, my grandparents were ashes long before I was born) Raised me, tried to blunt some of the edge to the best of his ability. Man was Iron. I swear nothing managed to phase him. Recently died at the fairly decent age of 82.

 

Let the hate stream in

[CLG Klavier]

I'm 95% sure I'll be put down for edge for this, but here goes.

 

Never knew my mother, she left before I was two. I have one picture of her holding newborn me, but that's really it.

 

My father was always a very closed man, he was never particularly fond of me. I had 4 half-siblings, 4 different mothers, I guess I got the short stick. He left me around when I was 7.

 

My grandfather is the closest to a parents I have had. (Actually paternal great-uncle, my grandparents were ashes long before I was born) Raised me, tried to blunt some of the edge to the best of his ability. Man was Iron. I swear nothing managed to phase him. Recently died at the fairly decent age of 82.

 

Let the hate stream in

...why would we hate you for something you never had any say in...? Why would you lie and tell someone who was a bad person was actually good just because their your parent? It doesn't excuse anything. My father is a steamy walking piece of shit as well.

[Ryusei the Morning Star]

...why would we hate you for something you never had any say in...? Why would you lie and tell someone who was a bad person was actually good just because their your parent? It doesn't excuse anything. My father is a steamy walking piece of s*** as well.

Edgy? I'm sure cow cow will waltz in with Edge Lord Tyranus at some point soon

[Not-so-Radiant Arin]

Absolutely hate my father. He's the sole reason why I have a bad temper. Why I had to inherit his bad temper I'll never know. But he's the reason why I can never be an actual member of society, instead just being this monstrous freak with a whiny and pathetic attitude. He beat me and gave me the belt when I was a child. He didn't have his f***ing head on straight. He was a smoker (he's quit now, not that it means anything because he's still a jackass). When my b**** bio-mother "egg donor" left him he took it out on me. When I was growing up he was always teaching me about cars and being a mechanic but I wanted nothing to do with him because I hated him. And even still, to this day, he's pushing me to do things as if the entire f***ing world revolves around him and getting his goddamn sleep. He has no patience. He's a lazy a****** who honestly doesn't care about any of us in the family except my step-mother.

 

Mother was just as much of a piece of s*** as he is, if not more. She left when I was seven under the pretenses that she didn't want to be a mother anymore. Over the next 11 years I watched her self-destruct. She gained a ton of weight. She started smoking pot. When I would go up to Michigan to see her she would care nothing about me in the car ride and just sing to herself like I didn't even exist. The last time I spoke to her was on my 18th Birthday, when she called me up to tell me to "start smoking pot because it would help my diabetes". One, I f***ing hate the smell of pot. Two, pot does not help diabetes. Basically, she became a dumb c***. Haven't talked to her for the last four years since then. Good riddance, I say.

 

Step-mother is alright. She works harder than the rest of us, so that's a good thing. But all she does is sit in a chair while she does it which has me concerned for her well-being. She's also the one that gave me two awesome step-sisters so I guess that's both a blessing and a curse (it sucks having to hear the door shut at 7:00 in the morning because the older sister is getting ready for a ten hour shift (and because she's f***ing loud)). She's sarcastic at times but when I'm in a bad mood I don't always realize it so I flip out, which is more my fault than anything. But she's fun, social, and when she's had a few drinks, she becomes a riot. Though, becoming of her old age, her laugh sounds like it belongs to a 50-year-old crone. It's irritating to hear when the two are watching stand-up comedy specials in their room. But I can't really blame her. On the negative side, she always tends to get between me and my business on Skype and having her on my contacts list is really awkward. It's not like I can walk ten feet and down the stairs to have a conversation with you...

 

Anyways, two sisters time. Older one is a feminist communist. That's fun.

 

Younger one drives a red Eclipse. That's fun.

[CLG Klavier]

Edgy? I'm sure cow cow will waltz in with Edge Lord Tyranus at some point soon

It's not really edgy if it's the reality.

[Yasυ]

I don't know my dad all that very well, however I like to think that he has achieved enough for me to hold him in high regard. (As high as a chronically absent parent can be, heh.)

 

My mother is a caring, loving and capable person who always puts my brother and I before herself, and I'm immensely grateful of that, though we have dissenting opinions in a lot of topics, and we frequently hurt each other without realising.

 

We're all flawed people I guess.

 

I may be a shitty person sometimes, but I would never blame my parents, or anyone else, for that.

[LordCowCowCowCowCowCowCowCow]

Winter the only thing I don't like is that you're taking the thoughts that you asked for and throwing it in people's faces now "Let the hate flow, you're just going to call me edgy". More advice for you. Don't ask for opinions and then complain about said opinion.

 

That being said.

 

 

Couldn't agree more. Although I'd like to rephrase that and say value the ones who raised you, since there are instances where biological parents are unable to or incapable of doing so.

As for mine, I'm fortunate enough to have two very active parents in my life. We may have our disagreements but I realize in the end that they want what's best for me.

I can agree to this to some extent. My siblings raised me more than my parents really so I do value them. I don't hate my parents but they make it hard for me to totally respect them.

[Sethera]

This...is something that's really hard for me to talk about, so I'll just not and say that I'd fall under the "bad parents" category and leave it at that.

 

About the best I can say is that at least I'm not blood-related to them, so there's that.

[~ P O L A R I S ~]

Such lovely parents we all have! 

 

In truth though, I have as good a relationship with my father as with just about anyone. We play chess and discuss sports, music and mysticism, often for hours at a time. I'm on my own now but I really do miss him. He's an informal person, which is important to me, I'll get into that more later. He's not uncomfortable listening to music of any sort (though he'll tell me if he thinks it's shit, which I can respect), and he's an accepting person who will shoot the shit with me and let me speak my mind. If he has an issue, he'll talk to me. He's just a fuzzy and easygoing guy. We have the odd argument every now and then, but in a manner that's fair, healthy, and generally easily reconciled. He's the smartest man I know and I love hearing him talk and swear and the way he strides about. I miss walking about with him as he smoked his cigarettes. He's a sentimental man, he sends me pictures of animals or omens or positive articles and things. He's a larger-than-life person (large in general too at 6'5, 200) and he appreciates company but respects that it's not always accessible given moods and life's general demands.

 

My relationship with my mother's a little more strained. She left my father after 20 years (when I was 13) for a man who's about 15 years older than my father but comes with an air of refinement more cohesive to her needs. It's an air that is bad for my lungs. She's a very controlling, fearful person. In the years I lived with her after she left my father (shared custody year-by-year), I was in a very toxic environment in which I couldn't speak and served more as her genial accessory than a person. I had no freedom whatsoever when with her, if I were to suggest going anywhere on my own other than school she'd protest on the grounds that she'd be afraid I'd be swept up by Al-Qaeda recruiters or stumble along the highway aimlessly. She's not a rational person. If I came home an hour later than usual she'd wait till the next day to tell me I was to blame for her sleepless night, something I gradually became increasingly sceptical of given that she never seemed fatigued in her zealous appeals to my sense of guilt if I ever did anything that didn't adhere to her routines. She doesn't speak to me when she's not concerned or suspicious, and so most of the time I was with her I just sat in my room on the internet. Particular phrases of hers in raising suspicions are a little harder to forget, such as "Well, were you out sniffing [i]aeroplane glue[/i] to get revenge on me?" though I've never done drugs or expressed any sentiments of wanting revenge and would constantly try to assure her that I love her and I'm not mad at her, and I do love her, but she's sick. And I'm not mad at her, but I'm weary. 

 

Nowadays, I live on my own, but if there's a day's lapse in my e-mail correspondence with her she'll track down my landlord (she's very good at those sorts of things), call her up and have her knock on my door to relay the message that she's very concerned. Generally this occurs when I'm drenched in work and need to focus, then I'll come back to e-mails including phrases such as "I'm *very* upset.", "I don't know what to do." (how about chill the fuck out?), "Should I call the cops?" (I'm serious, she wasn't above threatening to call the cops because she was worried about me), etc. So basically now that I am free I just make sure I contact her with as comforting e-mails as I can daily and then go out and live as freely as I can and as sexually as I can (I'm also gay, which I guess a lot of people here are). I felt very sexually repressed until I was 19 because I was socially awkward and my interactions with people were mostly through games (chess, MMO's, Yu-Gi-Oh when I was younger, etc), so promiscuity ensued as soon as I was on my own.

 

I'm still perpetually sober as I knew someone at chess club who'd drank himself to death at 17 and I can't seem to shake his face whenever a question of trying alcohol comes up. 

 

It can be hard to reconcile the different ways in which I feel I should present myself to different people at times because I spent my adolescent years growing up in two very different environments, but I feel it's helped given me perspective. It's also given me  faults, I have prejudices, fear and dread for many of the things I associate with my mother. I avoid talking to women in person and have to check misogynistic attitudes more than I'd like to admit. I have zero respect for anyone who'd attack/enforce harmless conduct on the basis of pleasantry/refinement/civility and tend to overreact to instances where I see it happening. I want to spend as much time here without leaping on a mod for perceived power abuse as I can, for example. I think my latest ban was a good thing in that regard, helping me to simmer down a bit and put matters into perspective.  

 

Well, that's probably enough of that for the day.  

[Blake]

My mom's mostly fine. She wishes I wasn't how I am, but that's because she was popular in school and just wants me to experience life more, especially since I've never exactly been a social person. She's very smart, and extremely handy (dismantled a VCR, fixed it, put it back together, does this sort of thing all the time) despite a lack of formal experience, and just generally good to know stuff. Despite only having a small bit of college, due to my dad whining when she tried to go back, she managed to work her way up in her jobs as a contractor on multiple military bases. Always knownfor being the most proficient at operating office and the like, and just being a generally good person to know at her work. Sadly, she lost a job in my hometown due to... complications, and she left her last job due to being offered to do the same job for half the work, due to a different company getting her (and others she worked with) contract.

 

Other than that, she also has a really good sense of humor on the whole. I get really frustrated with her at times, but that's not unusual for parents and kids.

 

Dad's a cunt. He used me as a siphon to take my college money and stuff it into his pockets, in order to pay the bills while trying to become a mason. He eventually stopped trying that, despite being a lifelong dream, because 'they aren't a christian organization'. So he got kicked out, basically. Yet, he's held in high regard at the church he attends with his wife, who hardly gets along with him to my knowledge. She finds him embarassing, at best. And people why I dislike the "church" as a collective, despite being a Christian.

 

When mom was leaving dad, he refused to let us have my childhood home. We had to live in an apartment (technically condo, but nothing really upscale) while he lived in a 2-story 3-bedroom house that mom had poured tons of work into before she stopped being a housewife... and renovations even after getting a job. The kicker? He stopped paying. He squatted there for months, then left it to be reclaimd by the state. We had to go and get all my old stuff out and tell it goodbye at the same time, because that prick was so bent on showing up my mother that he couldn't let my sister and I have our childhood home. Well, it would have been her's, but we left when she was only 4 years old.

 

He also claims that, because he tithes, he always has the money to pay his bills. And that he's met an angel (a tall black hobo, who he specifically hid his valuables from, said he had no BO, gav him a magical feeling when the hobo hugged him, who then left in a cab akin to Touched by an Angel), that God erased a miracle he witnessed on a mission trip from footage, and more. 

 

Oh, and, instead of a Christmas present after I stopped talking to him, when he was trying to 'win me back'? He donated a goat to Africa or some shit in my name, and gave me the receipt. I mean, sure, donate if you want, but what a self-righteous dick move to do to someone that you wronged. And this year, he didn't even get me a card because "he's an adult and adults don't get presents." Despite him getting them on his bday, Father's Day, and Christmas every year, and getting something for his step son (a year my senior) for Easter.

 

No, it's not the presents themself. It's the hypocrisy and th bullshit.

 

But don't worry, he sells me as the prodigal son to his church and everyone, and actually lives it out and expects mom's parents and side of the family to believe i'm in the wrong. And he succeeded, some, as everyone tried to make me feel like I was in the wrong for years. Mom tried to get me to be the bigger man, as he would never be,  but others treated me as if I was the one who hurt him, and damn did that hurt.

 

Either a psychopath or living in a delusion. Or both.

 

And all he does with my sister is show her off, despite never being in her life, and fighting paying child support constantly. He didn't even know she started wearing glasses for, like, 2-3 months after she got them. What an involved dad.

 

At least I know how not to be a dad now. I guess.