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Number 108: Dark Pulsar Dragon and Number C108: Abyss Magnetar Dragon


TSLexi

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Hi guys, here's my very first two cards I created (still looking for appropriate artwork for them). My friends say I need to balance them, and they're far too powerful to ever be playing, but they won't help me change them.

 

Number 108: Dark Pulsar Dragon

[Dragon/Xyz/Effect] - DARK

 

Rank: 12

 

ATK/DEF: ?/?

 

Lore:

 

This card cannot be destroyed except by battle with, or by the effects of, a "Number" card with equal or higher Rank. This card cannot be Special Summoned except by using two or more Xyz monsters whose Ranks total this card's Rank as Xyz Materials, and cannot be Special Summoned by other ways. (Xyz Materials attached to those monsters also become Xyz Materials on this card.) Cards and effects cannot be activated in response to this card's Xyz Summon. This card's original ATK and DEF is equal to the total of the Ranks and Levels of its Xyz Materials multiplied by 500. This card cannot have its effects negated by your opponent.

 

Your opponent's non-Xyz monsters cannot attack. When your opponent enters their Battle Phase: monsters your opponent controls must attack in order of their Ranks, starting with the lowest. When this card battles a monster with a lower Rank, that monster's effects are negated and it loses 1000 ATK and DEF multiplied by the difference in Ranks. If this card attacks a non-Xyz monster: At the start of the damage step; destroy that card, and then this card can attack again.

 

Once per turn: you can detach one Xyz Material; Target one Xyz or Synchro Monster in your Extra Deck: Special Summon it, and if you do, lose LP equal to that target's Rank or Level multiplied by 500, then, if that target was an Xyz Monster, you can move any number of Xyz Materials from this card to that card.

 

Once per turn, during either player's turn, you can activate one of the following effects:

 

Detach one Xyz Material; target an opponent's monster, it's ATK and DEF become 0 until the end of your opponent's next turn, it's effects are negated, and it cannot change battle positions until the end of your opponent's next turn.

 

Detach two Xyz Materials; this card can attack all of your opponent's monsters at once, and if this card attacks a defense position monster, inflict piercing battle damage. Your opponent's cards and effects cannot be activated until the end of the Battle Phase.

 

Detach all Xyz Materials: Banish every card on the field, except this one, and in each player's hand and graveyard, then inflict damage to your opponent equal to the total of the Levels and Ranks of any monsters banished by this effect multiplied by 500. This card cannot attack the turn this effect is activated, and if this effect resolves, your LP becomes 1.

 

If this card would leave the field, it does not, and then you can Special Summon 1 "Number C108: Abyss Magnetar Dragon" from your Extra Deck, and attach this card to it as an Xyz Material. (Xyz Materials attached to this monster are also attached to the summoned monster as Xyz Materials.) This Special Summon is treated as an Xyz Summon.

 

 

 

Name: Number C108: Abyss Magnetar Dragon

[Dragon/Xyz/Effect] - DARK

 

Rank: 13

 

ATK/DEF: 0/0

 

Lore:

 

This card cannot be destroyed except by the effects of "Number" cards with an equal or higher Rank, and is unaffected by other card effects. This card cannot be Special Summoned except by the effect of "Number 108: Dark Pulsar Dragon", and cannot be Special Summoned by other ways. When this card is Summoned, if your LP is below 8000, your LP becomes 8000.

 

You take no battle damage from battles involving this card, and your opponent takes any battle damage that you would have, and you can gain an equal amount of LP and have this card gain that much ATK and DEF.

 

Once per turn, during either player's turn: you can detach one Xyz Material; all of your opponent's monsters are switched to face-up attack position and your opponent must attack this card with every monster they control. Your opponent cannot activate cards or effects until the end of the damage step. After the damage step, inflict damage to your opponent equal to that monster's ATK or DEF, whichever one is higher. At the end of the Battle Phase: attach all monsters that battled with this card to this card as Xyz Materials.

 

Once per turn, during either player's turn: you can attach one card from any location as an Xyz Material.

 

Once per turn, during either player's turn: inflict 500 damage to your opponent for each Xyz Material attached to this card.

 

If this card leaves the field, both players' LP becomes 1. If this card has no Xyz Materials, you lose the Duel.

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Okay, can i say something about that Number 108 card?

 

[spoiler=ehem*'']ONE GIANT WALL OF TEXT

 

 

Like seriously . . . i mean, wow! If that text put on real cards, just how small the text may be? I think it's too small for us to read if that happens.

 

> That text . . . even Konami separate The Winged Dragon of Ra in to 2 cards (possibly 3 with Phoenix Mode perhaps? dunno.) why they separate them? Possibly to avoid this kind of "giant wall of text being put into 1 card".

[spoiler=This is what i mean'']2jc6gk6.jpg

See? you can't even read what kind of effects/text lies in that card, it's tooooo small

 

 

> Too much once per turn clause, remove them and use this text instead at the end "You can only use each of this card's effect once per turn".

 

> The effect is toooo much . . . pls make it simpler or just remove some of his effect, i mean the problem of that card is tooo much once per turn, too much effect and ended up becoming "giant wall of text".

 

Pls . . . keep the effect you think it's necessary and remove the other effect that's not really needed. I mean too much effect on a single card, doesn't make any sense at all. Until that, i can't say anything about those cards.

 

Hope this helps~

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OK, here's what I've decided to change the card to:

 

Name: Number 108: Dark Pulsar Dragon

[Dragon/Xyz/Effect] - DARK

 

Rank: 0

 

ATK/DEF: 1000/1000

 

Lore:

 

This card cannot be destroyed in battle, or by effects, except by a "Number" card. This card cannot be Special Summoned except by using two or more Xyz monsters whose Ranks total 12 as Xyz Materials. This card's Rank is always treated as 12.

 

Your opponent's non-Xyz monsters cannot attack or activate their effects. When this card battles an Xyz monster with a lower Rank than this card: the monster with the lower Rank has its effects negated and loses 1000 ATK and DEF multiplied by the difference in Ranks, until the end of the Damage Step.

 

During either player's turn: detach all Xyz Materials; banish all cards on the field and in each player's hand and graveyard, except this one, then your opponent takes 500 damage multiplied by the total Ranks/Levels of any monsters banished.

 

Once per turn: detach 1 Xyz Material; Special Summon 1 Xyz or Synchro monster from your Extra Deck, and if you do, take 500 damage multiplied by that monster's Rank or Level, and then you can move any number of Xyz Materials from this card to that card.

 

If this card would leave the field: it does not, and then you can Special Summon 1 "Number C108: Abyss Magnetar Dragon" from your Extra Deck, and attach this card to it as an Xyz Material. (This Special Summon is treated as an Xyz Summon. Xyz Materials attached to that monster also are attached to this one.)

 

Number C108: Abyss Magnetar Dragon

[Dragon/Xyz/Effect] - DARK

 

Rank: 1

 

ATK/DEF: 0/0

 

Lore:

 

This card can only be Special Summoned by the effect of "Number 108: Dark Pulsar Dragon", and cannot be Special Summoned by other ways.

 

This card cannot be destroyed in battle, and can only be destroyed by the effect of a "Number" card. You take no battle damage from battles involving this card, and your opponent takes the battle damage you would have, and you gain an equal amount of LP. This card inflicts piercing battle damage.

 

When this card is summoned: banish all cards on the field, face-down.

 

Your opponent cannot play monsters in defense position. Your opponent cannot skip their Battle Phase. All your opponent's monsters must attack this card. At the end of the Damage Step: attach the monster this card battled as an Xyz Material.

 

Once per turn, during either player's turn: detach any number of Xyz Materials; inflict damage equal to the combined total of the ATK of those cards.

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