Can I please have some opinions (keep it friendly)

[XXYYZZ]

[Bluvista]

Gee, this is brutal! A level 4 monsters that prohibits special summoning?! A monster with the stupidly godly Z-ARC Negate draw thing!? These are insane!

[XXYYZZ]

2 minutes ago, Bluvista said:

Gee, this is brutal! A level 4 monsters that prohibits special summoning?! A monster with the stupidly godly Z-ARC Negate draw thing!? These are insane!

I kinda imagined it as a final boss kinda deck, these are just the beginning of the arch type

[Bluvista]

The new cards are pretty broken as well. My critiques on each individual card. 

Destroyer; A summon destruction effect that only targets Effect monsters, while powerful, it doesn't stop a dedicated blue-eyes player from making mincemeat out of this card. Although i'm concerned with the Fusion material required to summon it. Sacrifice is a fairly tame card compared to the rest of the archetype, but Darkmatter is arguably the best card in this archetype. Why would I give it up for a decent monster destruct upon summon, with mediocre stats? 

Conquer: what are the requirements to summon it? You left it blank, so I assume 2 level 6 monsters as its a rank 6. Also, its effect is weirdly worded. I assume it means Goyo Guardianing an opponents monster if its ATK was lower than its own. (it has 2800 ATK and is a rank 6 Xyz monster, i'm fine with this. Although, you might consider detaching an overlay unit to activate this effect, or having a secondary, overlay-unit detaching effect to back it up.) Otherwise, I cannot find an issue with it. 

Sacrifice: Okay, compared to the rest of he Archetype, this is pretty tame. but I understand the reasoning behind it. With how few main deck monsters this archetype has, you definitely need a reliable recycler. 

Dark Archer: Woah, an effect like that on a level 5 monster? that's pretty wicked. I might change that to either half of ATK or DEF, or destruction = minor amount of burn. 

Cosmic Eye: Holy crap. Just, woah. No searching? That's like the ultimate form of shutdown. It even makes Barrets Medal of Crimson Chain, (A continuous trap that equips onto a special summoned monster, preventing it from being destroyed, and preventing the opponent from normal summoning or setting, and from special summoning any monsters) look like a joke. At least with Crimson Chain you could use like an allure of darkness to maybe draw an MST or something, but this? It just shuts down all of that. This effectively shuts down most modern decks. so needless to say, it's really, really busted. 

Darkmatter: Yikes, another powerful card. At least this time he opponent can do something about it. But di I really have to type out why its so broken? 

 

[XXYYZZ]

53 minutes ago, Bluvista said:

Conquer: what are the requirements to summon it? You left it blank, so I assume 2 level 6 monsters as its a rank 6. Also, its effect is weirdly worded. I assume it means Goyo Guardianing an opponents monster if its ATK was lower than its own. (it has 2800 ATK and is a rank 6 Xyz monster, i'm fine with this. Although, you might consider detaching an overlay unit to activate this effect, or having a secondary, overlay-unit detaching effect to back it up.) Otherwise, I cannot find an issue with it. 

Your correct to assume that, yeah it's two level six, and what I mean by it is if the monster it destroys has less attack points than its original attack than you get control of that monster..hence the name, and yeah you have to detach a overlay unit (I forgot to add those details)

[Tinkerer]

I dunno.  Besides Darkmatter, these are actually all fairly tame.

Destroyer is a weaker Black Rose Dragon.

Conquerer is an (arguably) harder to summon Goyo Guardian.

Sacrifice should probably say where it adds the monster from (Deck?/GY?/Both?), but it's a vanilla searcher.

Dark Archer could be dangerous for potential loops, but... other cards do it better and more effectively, so it's not much of a worry tbh.

Cosmic Eye might look crazy but... it's just a really really nerfed Thunder Dragon Colossus at the end of the day.

Darkmatter... is OP.

 

@XXYYZZ Are these meant to be a part of the "HERO" Archetype?  If so, you'll need to put HERO all in caps in their names.  I'll see if I can offer some text fixes when I'm free.

By the way, welcome to YCM!

 

[XXYYZZ]

4 hours ago, Redro said:

@XXYYZZ Are these meant to be a part of the "HERO" Archetype?  If so, you'll need to put HERO all in caps in their names.  I'll see if I can offer some text fixes when I'm free.

By the way, welcome to YCM!

To answer your question yeah it is, and thank you so much I forget things like that

And thank you very much

[morrisoni4]

I'll start by actually cleaning up the text a bit.

"Destroyer"

A Fusion Summon of this card can only be done with the above Materials.

When this card is Special Summoned: Destroy all other Effect Monsters on the field.

 

"Conquer"

2 Level 6 monsters

If this card destroys a monster by battle with an original ATK lower than the original ATK of this card and sends it to the GY: You can detach 1 Xyz Material from this card, Special Summon that monster.

 

"Sacrifice"

If this card is sent to the GY: Add 1 "Twisted HERO" monster from your Deck or GY to your hand.

(Note: I'm assuming you meant Deck and GY options for the search.)

 

"Dark Archer"

Once per turn, target 1 monster your opponent controls, inflict damage to your opponent equal to that target's ATK.

 

"Cosmic Eye"

1 "Twisted HERO" monster + 1 DARK monster

A Fusion Summon of this card can only be done with the above Materials. Your opponent cannot search their Deck.

 

"Dark Matter"

After this card is removed from the field by your opponent's card, your opponent cannot Special Summon monsters until the end of their second turn.

 

Now, to the cards themselves. These are fairly powerful, but I wouldn't say OP. "Cosmic Eye" would be a  pain to face no matter what kind of deck you run, but as it has no protection, there are workarounds ("Trap Hole" cards, "Hammer Shot", etc) so it's not overly broken, even if it does make life hard.

The real ace in this deck, honestly, is "Dark Matter."  It can completely lock down almost any monster-based strategy if your opponent hasn't already put together their playmakers. That said, if they know this, they can simply allow it to remain on the field long enough to set up what they need - "Messenger of Peace" or "Gravity Bind" would prevent you from suiciding it in a hopeless battle just to activate its effect, and anything else would have to be their active choice. So annoying? Yes. Broken? Not really, although you may wish to Level it up once or twice, so it has to be Tribute Summoned. You may also want to add an additional clause that allows it to activate when used as a Fusion Material, but that's just my suggestion to make "Cosmic Eye" more viable.

"Destroyer" has its benefits, but you may wish to grant it some extra ATK/DEF, so that high-power Normal Monsters, e.g. "Dark Magician", won't annihilate it.

"Conquer" fairly balanced. Given that it can't steal anything with more than 2800 ATK, that limits it somewhat in sheer attack power. But then again, there are monsters like "Relinquished", which could grant you far more power than "Conquer" itself. In other words, it's situational, but not bad.

"Sacrifice" is, as has been said already, fairly tame. Nothing to write home about, but also a good way of retrieving your Fusion Material if something goes south on your Fusion Monsters.

"Dark Archer" has potential to become a significant burn card, especially in combination with cards like "Lava Golem",  most of the "Kaiju" monsters, "Grinder Golem"... Anything that puts a high ATK monster on your opponent's field, really. If you combo that with "Messenger of Peace", "Dark Archer" becomes a powerhouse, even if it can't attack. And even if your opponent only has wimpy monsters, this could still quickly become a death of a thousand cuts for your opponent, especially if you have more than one on the field.

[Tinkerer]

29 minutes ago, morrisoni4 said:

"Destroyer" has its benefits, but you may wish to grant it some extra ATK/DEF, so that high-power Normal Monsters, e.g. "Dark Magician", won't annihilate it.

You probably don't have to worry about that since its effect blows itself up.

[morrisoni4]

9 minutes ago, Redro said:

You probably don't have to worry about that since its effect blows itself up.

Ooh, fair point. So "Destroyer" should say: When this card is Special Summoned: Destroy all other Effect Monsters on the field. I'll go back and fix that in my post.

[Tinkerer]

12 minutes ago, morrisoni4 said:

Ooh, fair point. So "Destroyer" should say: When this card is Special Summoned: Destroy all other Effect Monsters on the field. I'll go back and fix that in my post.

Then again, that could be intentional. Black Rose Dragon nukes itself as well.

If that was the case though, it would make sense for Destroyer to be "semi-nomi" (i.e. "This card must first be Fusion Summoned with the above materials"). That way, you can Special Summon it back.

But we'll have to see what XXYYZZ intended.

[XXYYZZ]

1 hour ago, morrisoni4 said:

I'll start by actually cleaning up the text a bit.

"Destroyer"

A Fusion Summon of this card can only be done with the above Materials.

When this card is Special Summoned: Destroy all other Effect Monsters on the field.

 

"Conquer"

2 Level 6 monsters

If this card destroys a monster by battle with an original ATK lower than the original ATK of this card and sends it to the GY: You can detach 1 Xyz Material from this card, Special Summon that monster.

 

"Sacrifice"

If this card is sent to the GY: Add 1 "Twisted HERO" monster from your Deck or GY to your hand.

(Note: I'm assuming you meant Deck and GY options for the search.)

 

"Dark Archer"

Once per turn, target 1 monster your opponent controls, inflict damage to your opponent equal to that target's ATK.

 

"Cosmic Eye"

1 "Twisted HERO" monster + 1 DARK monster

A Fusion Summon of this card can only be done with the above Materials. Your opponent cannot search their Deck.

 

"Dark Matter"

After this card is removed from the field by your opponent's card, your opponent cannot Special Summon monsters until the end of their second turn.

 

Now, to the cards themselves. These are fairly powerful, but I wouldn't say OP. "Cosmic Eye" would be a  pain to face no matter what kind of deck you run, but as it has no protection, there are workarounds ("Trap Hole" cards, "Hammer Shot", etc) so it's not overly broken, even if it does make life hard.

The real ace in this deck, honestly, is "Dark Matter."  It can completely lock down almost any monster-based strategy if your opponent hasn't already put together their playmakers. That said, if they know this, they can simply allow it to remain on the field long enough to set up what they need - "Messenger of Peace" or "Gravity Bind" would prevent you from suiciding it in a hopeless battle just to activate its effect, and anything else would have to be their active choice. So annoying? Yes. Broken? Not really, although you may wish to Level it up once or twice, so it has to be Tribute Summoned. You may also want to add an additional clause that allows it to activate when used as a Fusion Material, but that's just my suggestion to make "Cosmic Eye" more viable.

"Destroyer" has its benefits, but you may wish to grant it some extra ATK/DEF, so that high-power Normal Monsters, e.g. "Dark Magician", won't annihilate it.

"Conquer" fairly balanced. Given that it can't steal anything with more than 2800 ATK, that limits it somewhat in sheer attack power. But then again, there are monsters like "Relinquished", which could grant you far more power than "Conquer" itself. In other words, it's situational, but not bad.

"Sacrifice" is, as has been said already, fairly tame. Nothing to write home about, but also a good way of retrieving your Fusion Material if something goes south on your Fusion Monsters.

"Dark Archer" has potential to become a significant burn card, especially in combination with cards like "Lava Golem",  most of the "Kaiju" monsters, "Grinder Golem"... Anything that puts a high ATK monster on your opponent's field, really. If you combo that with "Messenger of Peace", "Dark Archer" becomes a powerhouse, even if it can't attack. And even if your opponent only has wimpy monsters, this could still quickly become a death of a thousand cuts for your opponent, especially if you have more than one on the field.

Ok first thanks for helping me with the card text, I'm kinda new to this

Second I have two cards in mind that can force a battle between dark matter and another card

 

Third yes sacrifice effect works on both graveyard and deck

Fourth conquer is one of those cards that has another form that requires a rank up card

That being said, thank you very much for your opinion and help

[XXYYZZ]

1 hour ago, Redro said:

Then again, that could be intentional. Black Rose Dragon nukes itself as well.

No, destroyer does not nuke itself, I'm just a total noob at card making and didn't clarify enough

[XXYYZZ]

I'm gonna make a text only version of the whole twisted hero arch type 

[morrisoni4]

16 hours ago, XXYYZZ said:

Fourth conquer is one of those cards that has another form that requires a rank up card

Oooh, "CXyz"! I'd love to see what you come up with for that! And in that vein, there are plenty of generic "Rank-Up Magic" cards to choose from, but you could also create your own. There are a number of them that specifically match one archetype.

[XXYYZZ]

1 hour ago, morrisoni4 said:

Oooh, "CXyz"! I'd love to see what you come up with for that! And in that vein, there are plenty of generic "Rank-Up Magic" cards to choose from, but you could also create your own. There are a number of them that specifically match one archetype.

Its gonna be in the written version of the arch type