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YGT2 Round 1-A-2: Jak vs. Deadpool

Phantom Roxas

By Phantom Roxas
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  1. 1. Who will win?


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Phantom Roxas

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Jak

Franchise: Jak and Daxter

Personality: Arrogant warrior type

Species: Human

Powers/Special Abilities/Weapons: Morph Gun, Gunstaff, Dark and Light Eco

Occupation: Riding Duelist, Signer

Age: 15-20 (Depending on game)

Likes: His friends, fighting, racing

Dislikes: Evil

Nominated by: Phantom Roxas

 

Deadpool

Franchise: Marvel Comics

Personality: Eccentric mercenary type

Species: Human

Powers/Special Abilities/Weapons: Hand-to-hand combat skills, swordsmanship and marksmen, teleportation, rapid body tissue regeneration, disease immunity, superior flexibility, immortality (sometimes), mental insanity, superhuman capabilities

Occupation: Mercenary

Age: 18

Likes: Himself, hot women, besting people, Bea Arthur, destruction, breaking the fourth wall

Dislikes: People who can best him, people who claim they’re better looking than Bea Arthur

Nominated by: Random Dude

 

[spoiler=Spoiler]Up on the rooftops of New York City, posed heroically next to the stars and stripes, a figure stood, waiting for another. A figure with a red and black skintight costume. A figure with two swords strapped to his back, and guns on his sides. A figure with a lot of free time on his hands.This figure was the one, the only, the Merc with a Mouth...Deadpool!

 

"Hey, thanks for that GLOWING introduction, writer. Couldn'tve spiced it up with a bit of 'fantastic', 'spectacular' or 'marvelous' without getting sued, huh?" With a shrug, the merc pulled out his cell phone, opening up a browser. "See, this is why the guy's on a Yu-Gi-Oh site instead of signing books at Barnes and Noble. Alright, let's see. Logging onto YCM...username, BadassMcGee...alright! Looks like I'm facing-"

 

Before he could finish talking to himself, Deadpool felt a whoosh of air breezing by him. Turning, he saw what looked like a hoverbike, and a slim man in a helmet.

 

"...card games on motorcycles?"

 

The man stepped off the bike, pulling off his helmet, revealing a tanned face with green hair-including facial hair-, red-tinted goggles, and pointed ears. "I believe you're Deadpool, correct?" A small, fuzzy creature crawled up on the man's shoulders. It too had goggles...and, well, that was about it. It was orange and yellow furred, yet no other appendages aside from ears, arms and legs were on its body.

"This is the guy? You can take him, no problem!"

 

"Spock!" Deadpool cried with almost childish glee. "I found you! Oh man, wait till I tell Captain Kirk! And you brought a pet! Isn't that just the cutest widdle thing!"

 

The man and creature looked at each other.. "Spock? What's a Spock?" The creature asked with an annoyed glance at Deadpool. The man shrugged in response.

 

"You must be mistaken. My name-"

 

"-is Jak, and that's Daxter, yeah, yeah, I know." The merc pulled out one of his katanas, absentmindedly spinning it around. "But c'mon, don't tell me you don't look into the mirror each day and ask yourself how you lost the role of a lifetime to Sylar from Heroes."

 

"...excuse me?" Jak glared, veins on the side of his head starting to bulge. "What the hell are you talking about?"

 

Deadpool replied with a facepalm, dropping to his knees and screaming to the heavens. "WHY, GOD, IN YOUR ALMIGHTY KNOWNINGNESS, DID YOU NOT SPREAD THE WONDER OF STAR TREK TO THIS POOR, PITIFUL, PATHETIC-"

 

That was all he had time to spit out before Jak's foot connected with his jaw.

 

"-YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOWCH!"

 

The merc was sent at least a couple feet away from the blow. Looking down, he rubbed his jaw with one hand and pushed himself up with the other.

 

"Aren't we supposed to wait for some guy with a Fu Manchu stache to announce this before we get to the kicking and the punching?" Looking back up, he saw a significantly different person than the one from before. Well, not too significantly-it looked like him, but a lot more buff, a lot more purple, and a lot more angry...and still with the orange weasel thing on its shoulder. "Ok, so, you got Rob Liefeld to redesign you. No biggie." Raising the katana over his head, Deadpool rushed towards Jak, with a fearsome, terrifying battle cry:

 

"CHIMICHANGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS!"

 

No sooner did he approach Jak was he knocked off the roof by his very, VERY muscular fist. Flailing around in the air, and falling towards an extended flagpole, the merc snagged onto it with his hands. Unfortunately for him, the pole was starting to bend. He looked up towards the readers of this fight. "Hey, guys! Maybe if you clap your hands, this flagpole will remain perfectly still long enough for me to swing back up!"

 

The pole snapped and Deadpool found himself facing air pressure once more.

 

"YOU DIDN'T CLAP HARD ENOUGH, YOU KAIBA-WORSHIPPING WEABOOS!"

 

Clenching onto one of the windows of the building, the merc swung himself into there, in the middle of a business meeting for Marvel Comics, coming face to face with its former Editor-In-Chief, Joe Quesada. "Hey, Quesada! After I'm done with Jako over here, I'm gunning for ya! Get it? Cause I got guns? HA!"

He hopped over to the window, leaning out of it. "Now, where did he-"

 

Once more, foot met jaw in an epic struggle.

 

"AGAIN WITH THE KICKING!"

 

With a crash, Deadpool landed right on top of the meeting table, sending the executives scrambling as Jak, still muscled and purple, pushed himself into the window. "RRRRRRRRRR..."

 

"Whoa, there, Hulky. Calm down. Maybe I can help you with that! My good buddy Cable's got the same problem!...well, not really. Actually, what he's got and what you got are two completely different things. What was I going for again? Oh, right, KILL TIME!" Pulling out one of his guns, Deadpool let loose, unleashing a barrage of bullets, and sending Jak and his companion jumping out of the way. "Oh, she'll be coming round the mountain when she cooooomes~"

 

"We gotta get outta here before we're killed!" Daxter shouted, ducking under a hail of bullets. "C'mon, Jak, let's just-"

 

"STOP!" Deadpool froze in place. The room was silent, Jak readying for the next wave of attacks.

 

"...HAMMER TIME!" The mercenary began dancing, doing various moves such as the Worm and the Bump, and beatboxing out an odd tune, leaving Jak and his companion to stare at each other.

 

"...Uh, Jak? What's he doing?"

 

Jak growled in reply and stormed up to Deadpool, grabbing his leg mid-twist.

 

"Hey, hey!" Jak would soon find a grenade attatched to his goggles.

 

"CAN'T TOUCH THIS!" The mercenary kicked his opponent away, pulling out the pin as he did. "And the crowd goes wild at this stunning turn of events!"

 

With uncanny agility, Jak grabbed the grenade and hurled it back, right towards Deadpool's face. "TAKE THIS!"

 

Deadpool had but one reply:

 

"KATANARAMA!" Swinging out one of his swords, he moved to slice the grenade in half...which, in itself, was a bad idea, as it exploded on contact. "Aw, craaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"

 

With a smash, the merc soared through the building, out the other side. "Hey, maybe the Macy's Day Parade will save me!"

 

There was no parade in sight.

 

"WHY DO YOU HATE ME SO, WRITER?! WHY?!"

 

He landed with a crash on top of some poor man's Prius. "...ow..."

 

At the remains of the window stood Jak and Daxter. "Who's he talking to?"

 

"Not a clue," the fighter replied, changing back to his normal form. "Just be careful...we don't know what he might do next..."

 

"Ok, now it's personal," Deadpool muttered. "Well, it was before, but since you crashed me into a car, I gotta pay the insurance. AND. I. HATE. GEICO!"

 

Author's Notes: Special thanks to A20thCenturyBoy for writing this match.

 

Edited by Phantom Roxas
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