Archetype discussion and modification

[Heinken111]

 Recently as all of us Duel Portal Members know the site hasn't been activate, so I see this as a golden opportunity to bring our archetypes here for grammar checking and modification before we inflict them on each other with bad grammar and OP cards galore.

 

I know this isnt the same as dueling but it allows us to be friendly rivals and help each other have better primed decks so there's (Hopefully leading to fewer curbstomp battles). 

 

So just post some cards from your archetype and explain what its supposed to achieve and how they work so we can look at each card.

 

To start off with here's my new archetype: Ultraman 

 

Its purpose is to bolster WARRIOR decks with weak cards (Like E-hero) and to allow time for the duelist to gain cards in their hand to plan their next offensive or defense while giving the duelist a chance to activate any traps or spells of their opponents and defuse them. However their main weakness is that most can only last 3 of your opponents turns on the field. (To go  along with the show I based it on where the Ultramen and Ultrawomen have 3 minute limits on Earth.)

Here's the first card: Ultraman (First appearance 1966, last appearance 2014)

 

http://www.yugiohcardmaker.net/ycmaker/createcard.php?name=Ultraman&cardtype=Monster&subtype=effect&attribute=Light&level=10&rarity=Ultimate+Rare&picture=http%3A%2F%2Fimg.gawkerassets.com%2Fimg%2F17cdewa4rwf9xjpg%2Foriginal.jpg&circulation=4234234&set1=1966&set2=1966&inset=on&type=Warrior&carddescription=+This+card+can+only+be+summoned+when+a+WARRIOR+monster+is+destroyed+on+your+side+of+the+field.+Summon+this+card+from+your+hand%2C+place+three+counters+on+it.+At+the+end+of+every+one+of+your+opponents+turn+remove+one+counter%2C+after+the+removal+of+the+final+counter+place+this+monster+back+in+the+hand+and+bring+the+WARRIOR+monster+back+onto+the+grave.+When+on+the+field+this+monster+cannot+be+destroyed+by+the+effect+or+attacks+of+THUNDER+monsters.+When+an+effect+activates+that+affects+this+card%2C+flip+a+coin%2C+if+called+correctly+the+effect+is+negated.+If+this+monster+is+to+be+removed+from+the+field%2C+place+this+card+back+in+the+hand+and+ressumon+the+destroyed+WARRIOR+monster.&atk=4000&def=3500&creator=Jaden+Yuki&year=2016&serial=60403603

 

here's the effect since I put that many lines in it.

 This card can only be summoned when a WARRIOR monster is destroyed on your side of the field. Summon this card from your hand, place three counters on it. At the end of every one of your opponents turn remove one counter, after the removal of the final counter place this monster back in the hand and bring the WARRIOR monster back onto the grave. When on the field this monster cannot be destroyed by the effect or attacks of THUNDER monsters. When an effect activates that affects this card, flip a coin, if called correctly the effect is negated. If this monster is to be removed from the field, place this card back in the hand and ressumon the destroyed WARRIOR monster.

 

 

However like not all Ultramen take human hosts, some take Human Form, reflected in Ultraseven, same attack as Ultraman but much different.

Here's how you bring him to the field:

http://i.imgur.com/GFrNRCZ.jpg

 

http://i.imgur.com/EXZO7w0.jpg

 

for those of you who need glasses, here's Ultraseven's effect:

This monster can only be summoned through the effect of "Ultra Eye". While on the field during your opponents standby phase after the third turn after this cards activation flip a coin, if called correctly keep this monster on the field, if called incorrectly bring the monster used to summon this card back onto the field and place this card back in the hand with "Eye Spark". While on the field if an effect activates that effects this card in anyway roll a die, if odd the effect activates, if even the effect is negated. If this monster is to be destroyed place this card and "Eye Spark" back in the hand and ressumon the ritual summoned monsters.

 

 

 

There are monsters to support them, two at the moment: 

http://i.imgur.com/S0c7FEp.jpg

(Yes a useful Japanese heroine, and a goody two shoes one to boot, making her dangerous which is reflected in the card)

 

http://i.imgur.com/aWG0eKd.jpg

Zoffy, tough commander to have and best ally ever, and with a super ray called M87 that can destroy 3 super monsters in one hit and melt all it touches, which I didn't add in anyway.

 

However not all Ultras are alike, some need teamwork to help them, in 1987 Hanna Barbera brought Ultraman to the US as Ultraman: The adventure begins with three Ultras, all with their own effects.

http://i.imgur.com/8HcSo2Q.jpg

Chucks ability: This monster can only be summoned when a LVL 5-7 WARRIOR monster is destroyed on the field. Place 5 counters on this monster, remove one at the end of the opponents turn, when all counters are removed place this monster back into the hand and bring the destroyed WARRIOR monster back onto the field. When your opponent activates an effect flip a coin, if called correctly negate the effect. If called incorrectly remove the top card of your deck from play to negate the effect. When "Ultraman Scott" or "Ultrawoman Beth" are on the field your opponent cannot activate any monster effect. If both are on the field then you're opponent cannot activate any effect. 

 

http://i.imgur.com/ErB02CB.jpg

Scotts ability:  This monster can only be summoned when a WARRIOR monster is destroyed on your side of the field. Summon this monster to the field and place 5 counters on this monster. At the end of your opponents turn remove one counter from this monster, when all five counters are removed bring this monster back into the hand and bring the destroyed monster back onto the field. When your opponent activates a Trap effect flip a coin, if called correctly negate the effect. If "Ultraman Chuck" or "Ultrawoman Beth" are on the field negate all trap effects, if the other two monsters are on the field your opponent cannot activate any effects.

 

http://i.imgur.com/Vx3Zex8.jpg

Beth's ability:  This monster can only be summoned when a LVL 1-5 WARRIOR monster is destroyed on the field. Bring this monster to the field and place 5 counters on this monster, at the end of your opponents turn remove one counter from this monster. When all counters are removed place this monster in the hand and bring the destroyed WARRIOR monster back onto the field. When your opponent activates a spell card flip a coin and if called correctly negate the effect. If on the field with "Ultraman Chuck" or "Ultraman Scott" no spell card can be activated. If on the field with both monsters negate all effect on the field. If this monster is removed from the field by your opponents actions place this monster back in the hand and bring the destroyed WARRIOR monster back onto the field.

 

Some Ultras are even more unique, their body's change color, here's the one none of you know!

http://i.imgur.com/miBJpv4.jpg

Dyna Flash Type ability:  This monster can only be summoned when a WARRIOR monster is destroyed, summon this monster and place three counters on it, also bring "Ultraman Dyna: Strong Type" and "Ultraman Dyna: Miracle Type" to the hand from the deck, grave, or out of play. At the end of the opponents turn remove one counter from this monster. When all counters are removed bring this monster back into the hand and summon the destroyed WARRIOR monster. If an effect activates that may affect this monster activates pay 250 LP to negate it. If this monster is destroyed by the opponent bring it back to the hand and summon the WARRIOR monster back to the field.

 

http://i.imgur.com/2oFqqMC.jpg

Dyna Miracle Type ability: This monster can only be summoned by placing "Ultraman Dyna: Flash Type" back into the hand. Bring all counters from the monster onto this monster, when the opponents turn ends remove one counter, when all counters are depleted bring this monster back into the hand and summon the WARRIOR monster that summoned "Ultraman Dyna: Flash Type" to the field. When this card is face up on the field and by paying 300 LP per turn you negate all effects on the field save for this cards. When this monster attacks a monster you can banish it instead. During the next turn you can bring this card to the hand and summon "Ultraman Dyna: Flash Type" to the field and bring all counters attached to this monster to the newly summoned monster.

 

http://i.imgur.com/KFqTpHx.jpg

Dyna Strong Type ability:  This monster can only be summoned by placing "Ultraman Dyna: Miracle Type" back into the hand. Bring all counters onto this monster, when all counters are removed bring this monster back into the hand and bring the WARRIOR monster that brought out "Ultraman Dyna: Miracle Type" onto the field. When this monster attacks no effect can be activated and the attack cannot be negated. Once per turn you can bring this monster to the hand and summon "Ultraman Dyna: Flash Type" to the field with all counters attached to this monster transferred.

 

There is also some supports for them:

http://i.imgur.com/Ah1ycw3.jpg

Do not, I repeat do not remove this card from the field, the damage you may inflict on your opponent will be too horrific to bear. This is based on the Ultraman Story 0 Manga where aliens tamper with the homeworlds source of power creating Ultramen and the monsters they fight.

 

This is my archetype in a nutshell, there are other cards but I just want to see how you respond to these cards, hope to use them against you or see them used against me! 

 

and HAPPY 50th Ultra Q (The prequel to Ultraman)

 

Also the Jaden Yuki sign is a joke, face it, giant monsters would help him a lot!

 

Plus there's this card:

http://i.imgur.com/KY4ltjg.jpg

This monster can only be summoned when two WARRIOR monsters on your side of the field are destroyed or a WARRIOR fusion monster is destroyed. Summon this card to the field and place 4 counters on this monster, at the end of your opponents turn(s) remove one counter from this monster. When all four counters are removed place this monster in your hand and resummon the destroyed WARRIOR monsters or Fusion monster. When an effect activates that affects this monster is activated flip a coin, if called correctly negate that effect, if not then continue the effect. If this monster is to be removed from the field, place it in the hand and ressumon the WARRIOR monsters or Fusion monster. Once per turn this monster can destroy one random card in the opponents hand.

 

 

[Heinken111]

any thoughts on this archetype?

[BtanH]

It's extremely strong.

[Cirrus]

It's extremely strong.

I wish I had but two upvotes to give to this concise and cogent comment. Alas, I have only one.

[Flash Flyer - Sakura]

It's extremely strong.

Exactly how is this so?

Yes, we're not in the regular card sections, but explanation on your part would be helpful.

 

But indeed, these cards have awfully high ATK/DEF stats; some of them violate the max. 5000 ATK/DEF rule (i.e. Zoffy).

Fix this.

 

Their SSing requirements are also ridiculously easy to pull off in a lot of Decks lately.

[Marco Polo]

I'll comment on the grammar
The OCG is so off I can barely understand what you meant.
Does "bring x to the field" mean a special summon? Well right now it doesn't, and counts as a new weird mechanic that has no counters in this game because it simply does not exist, there's no such thing as "bring".
One of the cards says each of the ultrappl get a counter per turn. However you didn't mention when they get any of the counters.

Yugioh card effects have a writing system so we could understand exactly how they work, and flawed OCG (=official card grammar, the term for that phrasing system) leaves a lot for interpretation.
Too much for interpretation. So before you design cards, make sure you look at how cards are written and pay a visit to the official card grammar thread in the Realistic Cards section.

[Flash Flyer - Sakura]

http://forum.yugiohcardmaker.net/topic/322020-ocgpsct-thread-writing-your-card-properly/

 

I know Toyo raised some objections about this in the past, but this is basically why PSCT is useful.

Breaks down a lot of things, so easier to understand (as opposed to some of the older wordings)

 

 

Linking it here, so TC can just go there directly.

[Heinken111]

 

 This card can only be summoned when a normal WARRIOR monster is destroyed on your side of the field as a result of battle. Summon this card from your hand. This monster cannot be summoned by any other method. This monster can only remain on the field for 3 of your turns. At the end of the three turns return this monster to the hand and bring the destroyed normal WARRIOR monster to the field. If an effect activates that affects this card flip a coin, negate the effect if called correctly.  If this monster is removed from the field by the opponents action place it in the hand and bring the WARRIOR monster onto the field. This monster cannot be brought onto the field for 5 of your turns after it was place in the hand. This monster cannot be removed from the field by the effect or attack of a THUNDER monster.

[Flash Flyer - Sakura]

Next time, DO NOT post additional cards outside of the main post.

And again, you really need to fix your OCG.

 

Have Zaziuma fix it for you.