Pyotr, the Artillery of the Cryomancers (Written)

[drowsyCoffee]

Get ready for a wild ride, because this card is one of the weirdest things ive made so far, being a half decent attempt at trying to capture some flashy imagery in form of a card. Trying to think whether this card is powerful or not is honestly mindboggling to me, so i'll give it the benefit of the doubt and label it as a fun gimmick to mess with. Also, content warning, since some of those effects were kinda weird, you'll end up facing some very janky psct, i hope you can understand

 

Pyotr, the Artillery of the Cryomancers

Water / Level 8

Spellcaster / Effect

3000 / 1200

Before damage calculation, if this card attacks a monster: You can negate the attack; place 1 Cryostasis Counter on every face-up card in the same column as the attack target, excluding this card.  Cards with a Cryostasis Counter on them have their effects negated, cannot be used as material for a Fusion/Synchro/Xyz/Link summon, cannot be targeted by card effects and cannot be destroyed by effects, except the ones of "Pyotr, the Artillery of the Cryomancers".

Once per turn, during your Standby Phase: take 300 damage for every Cryostasis Counter on the field.

At the start of your Battle Phase: You can discard all the cards in your hand; Destroy the cards on the field with Cryostasis Counter(s), then, this card gains 500 attack for each card destroyed by this effect

 

With all that mess out of the way, i guess i'll explain and rant a little about the flavoring i based this mess on. I was just, having some random thoughts on magical warfare, brainstorming for future DnD ideas, and a image got stuck in my head, a group of Cryomancers channeling their powers into a railgun-esque machine, shooting all kinds of weird ice magic like bombarding soldiers with hailstorms or the like, and i thought that it could be a good material for a custom card

 

Whenever this card attacks, a solid beam of ultra cooled air is shot, freezing everything in its path, turning the opposition into very angry popsicles, thus being the reason behind the whole column and cryostasis counter deal. The sheer destructive power of the weaponry this railgun squad is using is so high, that even the residual energy coming from their exhaust pipes is strong enough to leave any poor soul behind them frozen, thus giving the flavor behind your own cards getting Cryostasis in the process if they happen to be in the same column of your target. Of course, nothing the mages themselves cant handle, they have endured far worse blizzards, and thus the inmunity to its own effect

 

As the battle progreses and the consecutive shoots of the artillery team freeze the terrain around them, the sheer cold exuding from the frozen statues of the enemy forces slowly starts to cool down the air around them, making the battlefield's temperature plummet way below what a human being can handl; being the flavoring behind the self burn inflicted by the card. Also, taking damage in general is way more exploitable than cost and could make for weirder decks involving the card

 

Finally, once their enemies have been all encased in ice, the Cryomancers ready all their remaining magic supplies into one last push, overclocking their weaponry to the limit, and shooting one last blast, with enough power to break the frail ice statues that have replaced the opposition and wiping the board in the process, giving the flavor for the final effect, minus the whole "and then hit for game" thing, 2 final shots sounded kinda anticlimatic and lame tbh so i'll leave that out of the narrative if you dont mind

 

That is about it for Pyotr. Again, just a dumb card that i did for the sake of the coolness factor (hehe), hope you like my weird Yajiro Invader-esque abomination

[Tinkerer]

Hey, don't get down on yourself!  This one seems really sensible: 1. freeze the target, 2. shatter the frozen target.

I think there are only a couple things that might need clarification.  First is the "cannot be targeted".  Is it just stopping targeting effects?  Or can a player not target it for attacks?  Second is the timing of the first effect.  "Whenever this card attacks" is a little ambiguous.  Does the freezing effect kick in before damage?  After damage?  It might make a difference on how the effect works.

Here's a text fix with some general interpretation.  It's your card though, so please change it if it doesn't work as you intended!

Quote

Before damage calculation, if this card attacks a monster: You can negate the attack; place 1 Cryostasis Counter on every face-up card in the same column as the attack target, excluding this card.  Cards with a Cryostasis Counter on them have their effects negated, cannot be used as material for a Fusion/Synchro/Xyz/Link summon, cannot be targeted by card effects and cannot be destroyed by effects, except the ones of "Pyotr, the Artillery of the Cryomancers".

Once per turn, during your Standby Phase: take 300 damage for every Cryostasis Counter on the field.

At the start of your Battle Phase: You can discard as many cards as possible from your hand; destroy all cards with Cryostasis Counter(s), then, this card gains 500 ATK for each card destroyed by this effect.

Overall, I like the flavor of this, and the explanation made me laugh because I kept thinking of the Itsu cards using a giant freeze ray 

Cheers!

[drowsyCoffee]

I have to admit, the Itsus going full Ojama Delta Hurricane on someone is quite the hilarious image, i am surprised i havent seen a card like that so far. Overall, thank you for the feed back, it was really helpful. 

 

For the first part, i wrote like that because with all those cannots the text felt almost painfully redundant and i tried to avoid repeating the "effect" word 2 times for the target and destruction inmunity, not noticing that the cannot in the middle of the 2 divided the sentence, thank you for pointing it out, i would probably have never noticed that on my own

 

The second correction was just a slip up, good call, i totally forgot about the damage step, something that would really mess up a battle oriented eff like this. I also like the idea of negating the attack, so lower attack monsters remain on the field and you get even more frozen nonsense, thank you very much for adding that little bit, i really like it

 

Overall, im glad that you have enjoyed, and thank you for your feedback, if left on my own i would probably have left the card like that by accident xD

[Dokutah]

its simple and cool effect (pun intended)

its pretty much a build around/ archetypal bosses an it does powerful things, stacking up lockdowns while building your chances to OTK it also properly having the burn drawback to represent either frostbite/overheating (maybe both?) while also beffiting the mid-range control playstyle the card supposedly emulate

if anything i would add to is put the penalty of the counter inside parentheses, while technically this is optional distinction to differentiate the monster on field effect with the inherited  lingering effect of the counter (the latter have edge being "un-negate-able") i think is match the flavor of Cryostatis counter turning stuff into big ice blocks that wouldn't thaw easily

also @Mr Melon would it be more shorter yet still correct to make "cannot be targeted by card effects and cannot be destroyed by effects, except the ones of "Pyotr, the Artillery of the Cryomancers" into "cannot be targeted or be destroyed by card effects, except the ones of "Pyotr, the Artillery of the Cryomancers". unless im missing something

[drowsyCoffee]

I must say, though i have heard about em in things such as A Wild Monster Appears!, lingering effs, their rulings, how to write em, etc are all things that are outside my knowledge, sorry for not being informed in the area. Still i didnt knew that just changing that detail would turn the eff into a lingering one in this case, considering how powerful they are, and how restrictive they can be as drawbacks, i'll have that in mind in the future, good to know. Still, for a monster without summoning restrictions, wouldnt it be a bit to powerful of an effect to have a lingering negate effs on it? Even if its trigger is during the Battle Phase, it sounds like something that could deal with Towers-like boss monsters a tad too easily, at least, if i understood lingering effs properly

 

Thank you for your feedback either way, much appreciated