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Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters: NagareBoshi [PG-13]: Chapters 42 + 43 added!


BlackSkullCortez

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Bro, awesome stuff.
Is Charles DL? I know Joseph is JZ, but I forget the 3rd guy and don't know who he is.
But I've noticed, you seem to jump into duels too quickly. Like when Tsuchi and Heki came after your duel, one second I read they got there, then the next second Ayra and Kea were dueling them.
I would just add more dialogue for those transitions and make them more "obvious".
But great stuff, it kept me entertained during school today :P
And I'm wondering if Zugai will lose soon..

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Charles is an OC.
No, Joseph is different. Also an OC. JZ is going to be a much more important character.
And about Zugai, you'll soon find out.
About the dialogue transitions, I was trying to think of one, but in reality, the main reason that Ayra and Kea lost was because they were surprised, so I kind of wanted to make the transition more sudden.
And Battle City will not have as many Duels as you think.
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Kinda sorta.
It's just... I dislike a lot of "celebrity" attention, and formality doesn't really exist in my mind, so I don't care about superior positions.
Also, I tend to be doing things a lot less when it comes to stupid competitions because I think the other people aren't that much of a competition, so basically, yeah.
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Well, it's just..

[quote name='BlackSkullCortez' timestamp='1290094816' post='4793269']
Charles stepped up to Zugai. “You may have beaten me, but I won’t lose to you next time!”

Zugai smiled, “Hopefully. I’ll be fine with it if you inflict more than 1500 damage to me. That means you’ve done better.”
[/quote]

Seems kinda...
What's the word?
It's not really prickish, but kinda offensive to him, wouldn't it >.>
And yo, how come the last 3 chapters are in one spoiler?
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*sigh* That's what I meant by the bad writing.
But yeah, Zugai wasn't really saying that to Yusei, more like Team Taiyou.
Yusei believes in "bond", but really, in the WRGP, he mostly uses his own strength, like in the Team Unicorn and Team Ragnarok duels.
In the Team Taiyou and Team New World duels, he mostly uses his own power, but he uses a single card that was used by the entire team, not like using a card like Gaia Drake and protecting it throughout the whole duel just to make it unstoppable.
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  • 2 weeks later...
How the hell did I miss this update?
I'll add in my commentary shortly.
EDIT: Well hot-diggety, I fought Wolverine. Were those just random punks hired by Kadoguchi?
I had no idea what you were doing with the serial killer, but the ending of that was cool. And I'm looking forward to dueling the giant transforming dude.
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i have only read the first chapter so far, but i have to say this is the second pleasant surprise i have encountered in the fan fiction section today. i like the inclusion of monster spirits (something that i have wanted to do in my fics, but haven't gotten a good chance), and i like the story structure and lengths of the chapters, but there are a few problems too. i've noticed a lack of physical description overall, and it could flow a little better here and there. i look forward to reading further.
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Oh wow, so you actually [i]fought[/i] the Ghouls. I thought you were going to do something ridiculous and somehow duel all of them and defeat them at once, but this makes more sense.
What happened to Kai though?
And damn, so many duels @__@
Liked the cliffhanger too, though I'm sure Draco will come to the rescue.
Psyched for 19 bro.
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Aha, so Kadoguchi is the misguided type of villainy.
I think Hiro makes a good point, transitions need to be a little better. Like how there wasn't any reaction when Hiru and Ayra got there, and when the rest reached Zugai. It's just like, "They got there. Kadoguchi says, 'blah blah'" as if it's nothing significant, when it is.
Otherwise, glad Hiru's back in the game, though I'm wondering just when Ayra...started liking him >.>
My one minor complaint, mind putting "Just" in front of, "Who the hell do you think I am?" xP
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