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Thar

[Fanfiction] Thar's YCM Pairings (PG-16)

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RULES:
1. All YCM site rules apply (no spamming, flaming, etc.)
2. All Creative Writing forum rules apply.
3. Keep all discussions relevant to the fic.
4. Don't ask to be in a fic. If I feel like including you, I will.
4a. I will not be shipping myself. If you wish to ship me with someone, feel free to write it yourself and post it here.
5. Do not make public complaints unless it pertains to the fic itself. If you have a personal complaint about your character, consult me via PM.

Disclaimers:

1.) I do not own the rights to these characters. This fic is purely head canon and does not apply to any proof of fact.
2.) These fics are considered comedic/satirical and their contents are intended to be jokes and not legitimate degradation of the members portrayed.

------------------------------------

[spoiler=Jake x Broken - Shattered Dreams (3,094 words.)"]
Jake woke up with a big grin on his face. No, not the deranged psychopath grin, but a happy and giddy little kid grin. Today was the big day of his debut of Trio of DEF 2, the unofficial sequel to Fusion’s classic YCM-fanfiction. This was a ground-breaking moment in his many days on the forum. The hype generated by what felt to be a year of waiting is about to unleash, and Jake’s body was ready for it.

“Oh man, they won’t see it coming!” Jake said, practically hopping from one side of the room to the other while he was getting dressed, “I can’t wait to see the look on their faces!” Jake was ass naked as he dug through his underwear drawer to grab the whitest pair of briefs he could find. He saw the winner of the drawer, stretching them out side to side several inches in front of him at eye level. He gazed into the elastic band, pulling it close to his face to sniff the soft cotton that would later catch the sweat from his groin.

Jake heard the door open behind him. It was his daughter, Lora, who immediately wore a face of disgust and terror of seeing her dad ass naked and sniffing his briefs.

“What the f*ck is wrong with you?!” Lora shouted, nearly crying, but shortly shrugging it off, “If you want some time alone with you and your undergarments, then I can leave.”

Jake paused and stared at her, making Lora put on a very creeped-out expression, “Um, dad… you’re staring at me with your ass in full view. Is this your way of mooning me?”

Jake snapped out of it, “No! No, why would you think something like that? I’m your father.”

Lora turned away slowly with wide eyes, “Okay, father, whatever.” She was about to leave the room before Jake interrupted her.

“Hold on a minute,” Lora stopped in the doorway, not looking back, “…what was it you were going to tell me?”

Lora still didn’t look back, answering, “I was just gonna tell you that the Creative Writing forum is packed. People are waiting, and they’re getting really antsy.”

“Let them wait a little longer,” Jake stepped into his briefs, walking over to the bathroom to tidy up his hair, “I want their reaction to be explosive!”

Lora rolled her eyes, “Whatever. Just don’t make ME clean up the mess, like you usually do.”

“I won’t promise anything. I might need some help.”

Lora rolled her eyes again, not hesitating to leave this time. Her footsteps echoed in the wood hallways of the top floor of the Hotel, fading to silence as Jake went over to the window and opened it, letting the breeze ruin his recently-groomed hair. He looked down over the sill, admiring the banner that drooped down to the ground. The banner consisted of a rose-red ribbon as wide as him with letters placed along the vertical spelling “TRIO OF DEF II - PREMIERING IN CREATIVE WRITING TOMORROW MORNING!” Along the sides were two more wide ribbons of a light shade of pink to border the text. Jake was proud of this banner, so proud that he let out a small squeal that showed his obvious feminine side.

“Alright, time to get dressed and head on down to-”

Jake was cut off by a strange sight in the distance. What looked like a black spot in the sky got bigger and bigger by the second, headed in his direction. Was it a bird? No, birds can’t fly that fast. Was it a plane? No, most planes that fly over this city aren’t black. This city was known for their racist air traffic control. Jake saw it come closer and closer at a speed where he was just barely able to make it out to be-

“F*CK, IT’S A GIANT BLACK SPACE POD!” Jake dove to the side mid-sentence as the long, black shuttle-esque pod crashed right through the middle of the red and pink banner along the fifth floor of the hotel. The crash was enough to shake the entire Hotel, making Lora scream from the floor below, “WHAT THE F*CK, DAD, WHAT DID YOU DO?!”

Jake ignored the remark as he stood up to observe the crash. He ran downstairs, not knowing that he was still in his white briefs. Sliding down the railing of the stairs, he nearly crashed into Lora at the bottom. Lora’s eyes were wide as they followed her dad running down the hallway in his underwear, speechless.

----------------------------------------------------------------

The room where the black space pod crashed into was covered in dust and debris from the crash. A giant hole in the wall was filled with the massive, cylindrical object, which half of was still hanging outside of the building. Within the shuttle, Jake could hear a muffled grunt of frustration:

“Sh*t. Just my f*cking luck.”

Jake approached the pod slowly, gliding along the floor like he was on thin ice. He could hear the floor cracking beneath every step he took, but as he reached a stiff portion of the cracked floor, he was able to grab hold of the end of the pod just as a door on the side puffed open. From the opening, a flailing and frustrated Broken walked out, disgruntled by where he stepped. He knew the Hotel’s interior when he saw it, which only meant that Jake was somewhere nearby.

He wasn’t disappointed. He saw Jake groping the end of his pod like Daemon’s breasts.

“Jake…” Broken’s face was cherry red with several veins swelling, “…what the hell are you doing to my pod?”

Jake looked at the pod, then back at Broken, smiling, “What’s it look like I’m doing to it?” Jake started moving his hips forward and back, prompting one of Broken’s veins to pop.

“GET OFF.” Broken took a threatening step forward before he heard the floor crack, stopping him. Broken began to straddle his legs and spread his arms to balance himself. Jake watched him with a smirk on his face.

“You know, Broken, you look kinda cute when you’re just about to fall through the floor-”

“Shut up.” Broken’s face turned even redder, his breathing getting heavier, “If my space pod didn’t malfunction over this shitty city, I wouldn’t have wound up in this shitty Hotel with its shitty host groping the end of my pod in his briefs…” Broken turned his face to the side to avoid making eye contact with Jake, his lips curling. Jake made a hearty laugh, letting go of the pod and making his way to the more stable side of the room. He reached out his hand to Broken.

“Here, give me your hand and I’ll pull you safely out of this situation you’re in.”

“I don’t need your help!” Broken spat, shakily trying to find a stable path to walk across, “I’d rather fall through the floor than accept help from you, let alone right now.” Broken gestured at Jake’s half-nudity with his eyes, flinching at the impulse with red cheeks, "I could've been in SPACE right now. Would've been a helluva lot better if I malfunctioned up there and imploded there..." He looked desperate with the amount of cracking that took place within the floor. Broken took a deep breath, taking a light step forward before losing his balance, falling face-first with his hand held out to Jake out of reflex. The moment Broken’s fingers touched Jake’s, the floor collapsed, sending the two straight down into the lower floor with a massive thud. When Broken opened his eyes, he was on top of Jake, who was gazing into his eyes.

“…Jake… get off me…” Broken’s face was about to burst from redness as he half-heartedly tried to get up, but Jake’s hand anchored him down onto his bare chest. Broken fought with himself to get over his emotions of the moment, but the warmth of Jake’s skin massaged his soul.

“Me? Get off? You’re the one on top of me, silly.” Jake’s remark made Broken scoff as Broken shooed Jake’s hand away and kneeled to stand up, only to trip and fall by Jake’s side. Jake laughed, and Broken punched him in the side in response.

“I’m leaving,” Broken groaned, standing up and headed toward the hole in the wall, “Good luck with your… fic thing.” Broken then jumped out, opening the chute that was folded up in the back of his shirt. Jake made it to the hole just in time to see Broken make a gentle landing at the bottom, catching him looking back and immediately looking away.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Jake wore an emotionless expression over his black and white suit and red bowtie, taking deep breaths backstage as the muffled heckles of the crowd through the door shook the walls.

“C’mon, we wanna read Trio of DEF 2!”
“How long is he gonna make us wait?!”
“He’s lying. He’s just f*cking with us for his amusement!”

The last comment made Jake cringe. He knew there was no time to waste, “Alright,” Jake exhaled, “Let’s do this.” With that, Jake opened the doors, taking in the massive influx of eager DEF readers shouting and begging and potentially rioting for Jake’s so-called sequel. Jake approached the mic, tightening his bowtie and straightening his collar:

“Ahem… Good evening, ladies and gentleman-”

“It’s morning, you numbskull!” A heckler shouted. The crowd burst into shouting.

“Good f*cking morning, then!” The crowd quieted down, “Now, today is a great day for you all-”

“Just get on with it!”
“Yeah! We didn’t wake up this early to hear your hubris!”

“It is not hubris, you fool! I am here to give you all what you want!”

“Not right now you ain’t!”
“Give us the f*cking fic!”

The crowd began throwing trash at Jake. Apple cores, half-sucked Tootsie pops, and Cheetos bags with some Cheetos left in them. Jake could feel the leftovers in the bags, and made it a sport to catch them and eat what was in there. The crowd started showing signs of disgust toward the act, which made Jake stop and continue to speak.

“Calm the f*ck down now. There’s plenty of fic to go around.”

“There’s plenty of YOU to go around too, apparently.”

The crowd burst into laughter and more heckling. Jake wiped his face, sighing, “That was uncalled for! If you want to see the fic, then shut the f*ck up!”

“You made us all hype for NOTHING!” The crowd raised they’re enraged fists, charging the stage in a moshpit style, appearing to be able to chew it away bit by bit. Jake looked around, fearing for his life and sanity…

“SILENCE. ALL OF YOU.” Broken was standing just in front of the doorway; a look of malice and need for order plaguing his eyes. He was breathing heavily, as if he had ran a ways. Broken looked at Jake, whom was sweating with a slightly terrorized look on his face. Broken hesitated to speak on his behalf, holding his breath while turning red to the cheeks, but spoke anyway:

“You all are just a bunch of greedy bastards!” Broken was slightly choked up with feelings, “Jake promised you the sequel to one of the most famous fics on this forum. You’d think that if he really didn’t have the ambition to do something like that, he wouldn’t. He followed through on it, though. I saw him work day and night; stretching the limits of his ability and sanity just to provide you all with some shitty entertainment, and THIS is how you repay him?” Broken was on the verge of tears, but Jake sighed and showed a smile that comforted him.

The heckling seized, and the crowd began to drop their heads in shame. They all saw Jake as an idiot, but since Broken was speaking on his behalf, what Jake said was actually true.
“You guys gonna kiss or something?!”

The crowd immediately went back to heckling, and Jake and Broken simultaneously wore a look of shock. Jake did not wish to waste any time. He grabbed the remote that sat on a chair behind him, lowering the screen and turning on the projector. The crowd immediately silenced, making murmuring comments about it being time.

“Ladies and gentlemen, tentaclies and furries, I give you… Trio of DEF 2!!!”

The room was silent, and everyone’s eyes were glued to the projected screen that was slathered with text. Jake and Broken both exited stage-right through the open door, closing it gently. Jake turned to Broken to thank him, only to find him in tears.

“Jake… I…” Broken looked away with a frustrated look on his face, “…please don’t thank me for that. I wasn’t doing it for you, you know…”

Jake snickered, “I appreciate it nonetheless, Broken.” Broken’s face turned cherry red once again as Jake approached him, gesturing him to stay away but at the same time wanting him to come closer. Emotions intertwined and summoned more tears, making him plunge into Jake’s hefty arms for his tight, warm embrace.

“God damn it, Jake…” Broken was weeping now, returning the embrace, “There’s a reason why I hesitate to accept you, you know. If people find out about us, I’m RUINED.”

“No you aren’t, I assure you that.”

Broken flailed his arms to escape the embrace and started pounding Jake’s chest with the sides of his fists, “NO. NO, YOU DON’T. I’M TELLING YOU, I FEEL LIKE THE STUPIDEST PERSON ON THIS GOD-FORSAKEN FORUM FOR HAVING FEELINGS FOR YOU.”

“Leave being stupid to me, Broken. You go on ahead being a busta.”

Broken sniffled, “Oh Jake…” the embraced returned, and a long moment of blissful silence followed.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dawn fell on the city as Jake wrapped up his day with a big bowl of popcorn, a liter of soda, and Godzilla on his big flatscreen TV in the TV room of the Hotel. During his busy day, he did not think once about where Lora was all day.

“That’s strange,” he said to himself, “This morning she was on the floor below me doing laundry. I didn’t see or hear her since then.” Jake pondered, shrugging and returning to his movie. His fanboy unleashed as Godzilla crushed buildings and destroyed army vehicles, resulting in a mess of popcorn and soda spilling all over his already sweat-soaked T-shirt.

When the movie ended, Jake turned off the TV and went upstairs, leaving the popcorn and soda sitting on the couch without even cleaning up the mess on the floor. The stairs creaked with each step he took, but he paid no mind to it. As he reached the top floor where his room was, he stopped to listen; the sound of other footsteps and murmurs could be heard in another part of the Hotel. Could it be former renters returning to their rooms?

Jake was curious for a second, but proceeded to his room before the voices got louder. This time, he could tell that it was the sound of two people giggling. He could also make out the sound of a steady creaking like that of a broken clock. Jake’s imagination soared, as it was almost too perfect to not avoid; two people were making love. Jake’s heart started racing as his pants started growing tighter from his boner. He shimmied down the wall adjacent to the door to the lovers’ room, thanking grace for the door being open a crack. He leaned in to peek, and the view hardly disappointed. His boner got harder, but not bigger, as he leaned in just a little closer to get a more detailed look at the lovers’ identities…

Shock and horror filled him all at once. His eyes widened and his legs were about to give in on him as he scuttled back, saved by the wall at the other side of the hallway. The crash made the lovers stop. Jake could not move. His heart stopped as Broken opened the door, looking at the horrified expression on Jake’s face and body language. Broken sighed, shaking his head.

“This must be a total shock to you, huh?” Jake couldn’t say anything. His mind and heart raced simultaneously. Broken continued after curling his lips, “This is just as shocking to me as it is to you… but… you just gotta move on, man.”

“Just like that?” Jake spat, popping veins like no other, “I witnessed you crying in my embrace after defending me from a heckling crowd that nearly killed me, and you just want us to move on?! JUST LIKE THAT?” Jake’s tone was set to ‘kill on sight’ as he just about prepared a fist to punch Broken Square in the teeth, but Broken waited with a grin. Jake’s eyes widened in confusion and terror.

“Jake, go take a look out that window?” Broken pointed at the window in the bedroom opposite of the bed. Muffled heckling could be heard from it, which made Jake look. Just outside the Hotel on the ground was the same group from the Creative Writing forum. A number of them were carrying weapons and torches.

“They think your fic sucked, Jake.” Broken’s words made Jake flail back into the front legs of the bed, making his back crack. Groaning in pain, he watched hopelessly as Broken kneeled down to put a hand on his shoulder, “All that hype that you gave them was for nothing. They are all pretty pissed off.” Broken stood up, “But of course, they’re all too narrow-minded and naïve to have a justified reason to.” Broken’s voice sounded like any antagonist in a fantasy novel, wearing a malicious look that left Jake breathless.

“W-what do you mean?” Jake forced the question from his quivering lips.

“Well Jake, you see…” Broken paused for affect, “Someone had to give them a little… nudge on the shoulder.”

Jake’s eyes widened once again. He had a good idea what Broken was referring to, “You don’t mean…”

“Oh yes,” Broken gestured behind Jake with his eyes. Jake followed the gesture to the bed, where Lora sat with bed covers wrapped around her body. She stared into her father’s eyes with disgust and deviously cunning glance.

“Such a rude thing to do to peek on your own daughter having sex, father!” Lora spat, smirking with a provocative look of lust as she looked up at Broken, who bent over to meet Jake face to face.

“Jake,” he whispered, again pausing for effect, “you have just been, wait for it…” Jake’s lips quivered, his vision slowly beginning to black out before Broken’s last words echoed in his mind…

“…HEART BROKEN.”
[/spoiler]
Striker x Alice - Wrecking Ball

Creator x Lora - Pride and Promiscuity

Sora x Advo - Try Hard Ons

Mugen x Coolspy - The Madman Who Loved Me

Maxxion x Finalfan - Maximum Butthurt (PM)

Night x Yin - Probation With Benefits

Fusion x Clair - Out With A Bang

Crab x Pika - Power Scandal (Part 1) (Part 2)

Remo x Right Hand - On The Other Hand
 
Desu x Pika - Finishing Blow
 
Cherry x Welche - The Creation of Jelly (Part 1) (Part 2)
 
Aix x Cowcow - Dying for Dairy (Part 1) (Part 2)

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This is disturbing; not in a scary way, but more of a, "my soul is unclean" sort of way

 

You can thank Caeda for the idea.

 

This was actually supposed to be a crackfic, but as I wrote it, I realized I watered it down a lot. The story is also mainly worked around the ending, which is the first thing that came to mind as I was stringing stuff together. Not sure if it subjectively worked out for you, but I figured there HAD to be a point where any potential head canon was crossed out effectively. 

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I'm ashamed at myself for not having discovered this sooner. And I'm not so "high and mighty" that I can't laugh at the absurdity so to you Thar, and Caeda for coming up with the idea in the first place, I say . . .

 

6g621.jpg

 

 

 

“Oh man, they won’t see it coming!” Jake said, practically hopping from one side of the room to the other while he was getting dressed, “I can’t wait to see the look on their faces!” Jake was ass naked as he dug through his underwear drawer to grab the whitest pair of briefs he could find. He saw the winner of the drawer, stretching them out side to side several inches in front of him at eye level. He gazed into the elastic band, pulling it close to his face to sniff the soft cotton that would later catch the sweat from his groin.

 

Jake heard the door open behind him. It was his daughter, Lora, who immediately wore a face of disgust and terror of seeing her dad ass naked and sniffing his briefs.

 

“What the f*ck is wrong with you?!” Lora shouted, nearly crying, but shortly shrugging it off, “If you want some time alone with you and your undergarments, then I can leave.”

 

Jake paused and stared at her, making Lora put on a very creeped-out expression, “Um, dad… you’re staring at me with your ass in full view. Is this your way of mooning me?”

 

Jake snapped out of it, “No! No, why would you think something like that? I’m your father.”

 

Do you have cameras in the Hotel or something? Because getting that amount of accurate detail is scary (XD)
Okay all kidding aside I couldn't help but laugh because that feels like it'd happen. and fyi it's boxers, not briefs.

 

 

Jake ignored the remark as he stood up to observe the crash. He ran downstairs, not knowing that he was still in his white briefs. Sliding down the railing of the stairs, he nearly crashed into Lora at the bottom. Lora’s eyes were wide as they followed her dad running down the hallway in his underwear, speechless.

 

I've only ever done this when I was tripping on acid. Don't judge me! You don't know the freeing feeling!!! YOU DON'T KNOW!!!

 

He wasn’t disappointed. He saw Jake groping the end of his pod like Daemon’s breasts.

 

“Jake…” Broken’s face was cherry red with several veins swelling, “…what the hell are you doing to my pod?”

 

Jake looked at the pod, then back at Broken, smiling, “What’s it look like I’m doing to it?” Jake started moving his hips forward and back, prompting one of Broken’s veins to pop.

 

To get on Broken's nerves I would do this . . . and I'm a pervert so . . .

 

 

The crowd began throwing trash at Jake. Apple cores, half-sucked Tootsie pops, and Cheetos bags with some Cheetos left in them. Jake could feel the leftovers in the bags, and made it a sport to catch them and eat what was in there. The crowd started showing signs of disgust toward the act, which made Jake stop and continue to speak.

 

Hey! I can't let leftovers go to waste . . .

 

[hr]

 

Everything else was either hilarious or just a part of the crack-fic it didn't bother me. Again this is still a funny read.

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I'm not ashamed at myself for not having discovered this sooner. And I'm not so "high and mighty" that I can't laugh at the absurdity so to you Thar, and Caeda for coming up with the idea in the first place, I say . . .

 

6g621.jpg

 

 

 

Do you have cameras in the Hotel or something? Because getting that amount of accurate detail is scary (XD)
Okay all kidding aside I couldn't help but laugh because that feels like it'd happen. and fyi it's boxers, not briefs.

 

Everything else was either hilarious or just a part of the crack-fic it didn't bother me. Again this is still a funny read.

 

Glad you got a kick out of it. I'm actually surprised that I followed through on it with this much detail.

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Glad you got a kick out of it. I'm actually surprised that I followed through on it with this much detail.

 

Oh it was hilarious! Not going to lie but even some things were accurate, as I already said. I even got a laugh that when I first saw who liked it; I couldn't say I wasn't surprised to see Caeda and Mugendramon.

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That was actually far more hilarious than I thought it'd be.

 

Welp, I'll never get THIS comment again.

 

Glad you enjoyed it.

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Shit. This is hiliarious, I thought it was going to be crap.

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s***. This is hiliarious, I thought it was going to be crap.

 

So did I. It felt way too watered down to be a crackfic. That's where my mindset was anyway, though, so all this positive feedback was a helluva bonus.

 

Thanks, guys!

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Bump. New pairing is now up.

[spoiler=Wrecking Ball - Striker x Alice (3,194 words)]

The grass was unusually green in the yard surrounding the Hotel. The wind flanked the hefty building, whistling tunes of how deserted it was, especially after the crash that took place involving Broken’s malfunctioned space pod. The pod was gone now, for Broken had it craned out and trucked back to his base of operations. The hole remained, but the banner was in ashes after the readers of Trio of DEF 2 revolted against its non-worthy hype.

 

A scrap of broken wood fell from a beam that stuck out as a splintery section of wood. The scrap was influenced by the wind, landing in the only place in the yard where the grass was not green. The scrap was practically camouflaged with the rest of the roughly-shaped wood that lied in disorganized piles alongside a sizable tree that shaded it. Elevated by the tree was a rough wooden frame that was intended to be a house. A treehouse.

 

Directly below this frame sat a chubby guy that wore hipster-esque glasses and a brown hoodie that said “DUCKS” across the chest. He wore jeans that hugged his legs and appeared to look like skinny jeans despite the fact that they would fit barely loose on an underweight man. He had no shoes on, and his white socks were covered in grass, pebbles, and dirt.

 

Striker had a confused and frustrated look on his face. He looked up at the frame that he started, but had no plan on how to work with it. After the crash on the hotel, the Treehouse took collateral damage from the scrap that fell, leaving nothing but that frame that he pondered to rebuild from. He sighed, holding a hammer but not having a clue what to do with it. Beside him sat a box of nails about half full. He picked one up with an index finger and a thumb, positioning the head towards him as he gestured the hammer to hit it.

 

“Wait, I know what to do!” Striker perked up, grabbing the nearest board of wood he could find, and projected it where he intended to put it. He grabbed the same nail he had but dropped earlier, putting the tip against the wood in preparation for it to be hammered. Sitting against the tree was a ladder, which Striker grabbed with his hammer hand and set up just under the frame. He climbed up, on the way catching his button on one of the steps and loosening the waist of his pants, causing them to drop. Out of reflex, he attempted to grab the dropping pants, but failed, losing his balance and falling backwards with the wood board against his head and the nail stationed in the wood with the hammer on the head.

 

The impact made him black out.

 

[hr]

 

After a few minutes, Striker woke up to the blinding sunlight, which was vaguely blocked out by the head of someone looking down at him.

 

“Striker…” the voice came from her. It was soft, and comforted Striker, “Are you okay?”

 

Striker responded with a whiny groan, feeling the sharp pain on his forehead as if he had just ran into a brick wall. He went to feel what was on his head, and nearly panicked at the feeling of a wood board nailed to it. Striker passed out again, this time seeing white.

 

“Striker!” the voice was stern this time, and Striker flung upwards only to feel impeccably dizzy. He almost passed out once more, but Alice came up to him and slapped him across the face a couple of times to wake him up, “Striker! Get it together!”

 

“What the hell is your problem?” Striker whined, pushing Alice away.

 

Alice gasped at the gesture, “How rude, pushing a lady away when she’s trying to help you.”

 

“Help me? You’re slapping me!”

 

“You complain too much,” Alice coldly replied, slapping Striker again after he went in another daze, “You did a pretty good number on yourself by nailing that board in your forehead.”

 

Striker couldn’t help but notice the board was still there, and that he was still holding his hammer, “…and you didn’t remove the board because…?”

 

“Because I find it amusing,” Alice snickered, “It looks perfect on you, actually.”

 

Striker frowned, “Thanks for the insult.”

 

“Insult?” Alice tilted her head, “It was no insult. It was a compliment.”

 

“Compliment, my ass.”

 

Alice gasped, “Watch your language!”

 

Striker was about to shoot back at Alice, but Alice gave a snarly smirk that told him it was best not to. He sighed, attempting to pull the board out but failing, “Damn, this thing is really in there.”

 

“I’m surprised you’re not dead. That nail must have dug into your brain.”

 

Striker paused at the thought, “Wow, luckily I have a small brain.”

 

Alice coughed, “Yes, you do.”

 

“What was tha-?”

 

“Nothing!” Alice was red in the face, but the redness disappeared, “Anyway, what were you building?”

 

Striker looked up at what was still the frame of what used to be the Treehouse, “I was trying to rebuild the Treehouse. Broken’s space pod thing crashed into the Hotel and the debris fell down and tore it down.”

 

“And you were climbing that ladder to nail that board into place, only to fall backward and nail it into your skull.”

 

“Pretty mu-” Striker choked on his words when he realized that he was in his briefs. He looked down at them, exposed like the sun on a clear day. Alice chuckled, causing Striker to turn red in the cheeks.

 

“I-I-uh…”

 

“Are you embarrassed?” Alice shot a devious look at Striker, making his face redder. His heart started beating harder; it felt like his entire chest was vibrating. Alice crept closer, and Striker made an effort to back away, but did not move.

 

Alice stopped, “I can smell the virginity on you, chubby boy.”

 

Striker scoffed, “C-chubby? I’m not chubby, my bones are just big is all.”

 

“That’s good to hear.” Alice scooted closer, not so much as raising her butt more than an inch off the ground. Striker began to shake as Alice was practically on top of him.

 

“What are you doing?”

 

Alice snickered, “What’s it look like I’m doing?”

 

Striker had a miniature panic attack, unconsciously flailing the arm that was holding the hammer into Alice’s head. Not so much as a little yelp escaped Alice’s lips before she fell over unconscious. Striker sat there, paralyzed from the shock of hitting a girl with a hammer. He looked around, seeing no one in site, and struggled to get up on his hands and knees to scuttle towards her, grab her from the waist, and carry her on his shoulder. He stood up, looking for a place to hide, and ran in whatever direction he decided on. He was still in his briefs, and the wood board was still nailed to his head.

 

[hr]

 

Striker ran until he reached an abandoned building, which looked oddly familiar to him. He checked every window to make sure it wasn’t being used, later realizing that this was the building that the Absolute Powerforce used as a clubhouse. Striker sighed; all the harsh memories rushed into his head like a broken floodgate, but the club had been disbanded long ago, so the building was vacant. He had to retrace his steps to find the doorway again, having to adjust the unconscious Alice on his shoulder to make carrying her around more comfortable.

 

“Dang it, where’s that door?” Striker grunted, running his hand along the perimeters of the building until he finally found it. The door was shut, and when Striker went to turn the knob, it wouldn’t budge, “Locked? Are you serious?” Striker sighed as he put Alice down in a seated position against the walls right next to the door, backing up a dozen feet. He got into a ready stance as if to run, then pounced into a sprint towards the door, readying his shoulder for impact.

 

Striker was about to make contact with the door before the board on his head caught the sides of the door hinge, stopping him in his tracks and knocking him back without any result of damage to the actual door. He grunted loudly as he lied on his back after falling there, cursing at the door that remained shut and locked, not letting anyone pass. Striker got up, later noticing that he was still holding his hammer.

 

“Wow, of course,” he sighed, hitting his head with the bottom of his palm. He gripped the hammer, walking up to the door and bashing the knob with it. With every hit, the knob came looser until it broke off the edge of the door, leaving a splintery hole that left the door to swing open with just a light push. Striker exhaled, picking up Alice and starting to walk through the doorway, only to be knocked back again from the wood board hitting the hinge again.

 

“Damn it!” Striker dropped Alice and forced the board off his head. He could feel the stinging sensation of where the nail left a hole in his head. The sensation left a trail of blood down his face, which he had figured it out to have been there a while. He sighed again, looking at the Alice that he had carelessly dropped, but felt no guilt for doing so. He picked her up, again walking through the doorway but, again, being knocked back, this time Alice being the one hitting the hinge.

 

“Oh, for heaven’s sake…” Striker turned to the side, slipping through without failure this time. He scouted the room, which was messy with semi-broken shelves along the inside walls and dirt blown in through the broken windows. At the corner of the inside of the building was another smaller room, which also had a door. To Striker’s relief, the door was unlocked, and he walked through it. Alice’s head hit the hinge again, making Striker frantically turn sideways and slip and fall. Cursing, he struggled to get back up, sliding Alice over to the wall opposite of the doorway before dropping her again.

 

Alice’s eyes were just a slit open, “Whoa, what happened?” She looked around, “Where am I? Striker, what did you do?”

 

“I didn’t do anything,” Striker shot back defensively. Alice’s eyes were wide open now, but she could barely move. Striker’s harsh response made her grow suspicious, causing a smirk to appear on her face. At this moment, she felt the pain on her head, piecing it together.

 

“You knocked me unconscious, didn’t you?”

 

“I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry.” Striker put a hand to his forehead, which still wore a strip of blood from the nail hole.

 

Alice chuckled, “Don’t be sorry. I don’t blame you for having to go to such measures to fulfill your fantasies.”

 

Striker cringed, “I wasn’t doing sexual things to your body!”

 

“Suuuuuure you weren’t.” Alice winked, making Striker even more furious. She could only laugh, “You’re cute when you’re angry, you know that?”

 

Striker’s face turned red again, “Why does it matter? People anger me all the time, but they don’t call me cute…”

 

“I think you are.”

 

Striker looked back with a smile, “You really think so?”

 

“I know so.” Alice got up, albeit still tipsy from being knocked out, and walked up to Striker, holding his hand with both of hers, “I’ve always had faith in you. Everyone else is just a bunch of selfish pricks. It wasn’t your fault that you called them out like you did.”

 

A tear began to trickle down Striker’s bloody face, “I just… wish they were still my friends.”

 

“They were never your friends, Striker…” Alice closed in on Striker’s face, “…but I was.” Both of their lips touched. Alice’s legs had barely collapsed, but Striker caught her, keeping her lips against his. The blood on Striker’s face stained hers, but the taste of blood felt satisfying to her, especially his. When the kiss ended, Alice’s lips were stained with crimson like a poor lipstick job.

 

“You got blood on your face.” Striker claimed.

 

“So I do,” Alice glided her tongue across her lips, smearing the blood, “What of it?”

 

“Nothing.” Both of them chuckled and kissed again, this time pressed harder against the wall; little did Striker know that Alice was holding the hammer that he was holding earlier. While Striker was in a trance, Alice bashed him just above the temples to avoid a lethal blow, knocking him out cold. She let him drop to the floor, smirking.

 

“Now we’re even, ya perv.” She coldly said, dropping the hammer by his side. She giggled, bending down to kiss him on the forehead, leaving a mark the color of blood, and walked out of the building.

 

[hr]

 

Striker woke up to the sound of machinery in the background. He looked around, confused as to what was going on as he sat up to look out the window. There was nothing to be seen, but the sound was still there. He stood up, looking outside every window before the last one, which was the one that revealed the source. A wrecking ball machine drove closer to the building and began to swing.

 

Striker was scared stiff as the wrecking ball accelerated directly towards him. He could do nothing but fall backward, letting it plow through the old brick walls and skim his lying body. The bricks fell on top of him in a way that did not knock him unconscious, which made him physically capable of standing up and running out of the way of the ball as it made its return swing, knocking down more walls. Striker panicked as he tried to find a way out, making a break for the main doorway, but the ball was approaching straight for it, crippling his chances of escaping.

 

“Why does this always have to happen to me?!” Striker shouted in frustration as he dove to dodge the ball again, immediately getting back up to break for the opening. He had just barely got out before he tripped and fell on his belly, not seeing that the ball had skimmed his back, “Damn, is someone out to get me or something?” He ran around the building to meet up with the machine that guided the ball, seeing that Alice was sitting in the driver’s seat.

 

“Did ya miss me, sweety?” Alice’s grin was so bubbly, it was scary. Striker was dumbstruck, unaware of the ball circling around to knick him in the butt and knock him over. Alice laughed, further crushing the building.

 

“What the hell, Alice?!” Striker got up, “You knew I was in that building! Why did you start destro-” he paused, “…why the hell are you even in that thing?”

 

“Why?” Alice tilted her head, “Because I’m doing a favor.”

 

“Doing WHO a favor?”

 

“Well, I got a call from Cherry, who was out of town. She asked me if I wanted to do her the favor of getting rid of the Absolute Powerforce clubhouse so that there is more room for better buildings.”

 

“…of all people to ask of favors, why you? …and of all people to ask FOR favors, why Cherry?”

 

Alice shrugged, “Dunno, but luckily I came across this baby in the Mod Headquarters. I asked if I could use it to do Cherry a favor, and they agreed. Me and the Mods are pretty close, you know.” The ball continued to demolish, but Alice let go of the controls, “But that’s not the only reason why I took this…” She jumped out. Striker’s eyes widened as the ball came back around through shattering bricks, watching Alice jump onto it and hold onto the string.

 

“Alice, are you crazy?!” Striker attempted to stop her, but she was already riding the ball, “You’re gonna KILL yourself!”

 

“You underestimate me because I’m a woman!” Alice shouted, “Get in the vehicle and finish demolishing the building with me on it, sweety!”

 

Striker was speechless. He couldn’t do anything but obey her. He climbed into the driver’s seat, pondering which button and switch does what. He moved the lever in one direction, making the ball turn. Alice was singing loudly as the ball crushed through more of the sections of the buildings wall.

 

“I CAME IN LIKE A WREEEECCCKKIINNNGG BAAALLLLLL!!!” She continued to sing as Striker wore a wide smile, playing around with the lever and tossing and turning the Alice-jockeyed wrecking ball into more building, “ALL I WANTED WAS TO BREEAAKKKK YOUR WAAALLLLSSS!!” Striker was having the time of his life, but in his fun, he slipped off his seat to the side, pushing the lever as far in that direction as possible. The ball heaved in that direction as the crane on the vehicle began to spin a full rotation, one after the other. Alice held on tight, screaming at the top of her lungs, “WWHHHEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!”

 

Striker got back up and yanked the lever back into position to stop the rotation of the crane, letting the ball stop with its own momentum. Alice was laughing like no one had ever seen before, losing her grip on the rope. Striker ran out of the vehicle and over the ball just in time to catch Alice as she fell. A contagious smile crept across her face.

 

“Oh Striker…” she sighed with joy, “This is why I love you.”

 

“But I almost killed you. How could you love me for that?”

 

Alice snickered, “Silly man. That was most fun I’ve ever had! I doubt there is anyone in this city that would let me get away with something as crazy as that.” She pushed Striker’s head toward hers, and the pair touched lips once again, “Thank you.”

 

Striker sighed, “You’re welcome, I guess.”

 

Alice snickered one last time before wrapping her arms around Striker’s neck, falling asleep. Striker felt her warm breath seep down through the collar of his shirt, later realizing he was still in his briefs. He could hear the sound of people walking toward the building, apparently wondering what the ruckus was. The moment they made eye contact with the bottomless Striker holding a skinny girl, they charged at him.

 

“What are you doing to her?!”

 

“You pervert! Put her down!”

 

“He drugged her! Get him!”

 

Striker panicked, running away from the angry people and finding another place to reside until his name was cleared. Alice began to snore, which Striker laughed at. Not so much as a few meters away from the vehicle, the wrecking ball calmly made its way around and made it so that Striker ran into it and was knocked out cold with Alice falling on top of him. She hugged him tighter as the angry people got closer,

 

“Don’t worry, Strikey! I won’t let them take you!” She released from the embrace, running back into the vehicle and flinging the ball at the charging people, knocking them several feet back and out cold, “You peasants don’t know the meaning of true love!” She got back out, lying back on top of Striker and falling back asleep.

 

“Sweet dreams, my pet.”

[/spoiler]

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You know this might actually become a big thing.

 

F*** it, stickied.

 

Pressure's on. 0_o

 

But like the OP says, suggestions are what'll mainly keep this going.

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Koko's with Jenny (Byak) iirc

 

Ah, sweet. Tha's all I need to know.

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Okay one of the parties is not okay with it.

 

Abort abort abort

 

Angel_Beats_Escape_GIF_by_zakaru13.gif

 

Any other suggestions?

 

I have two from Desu: Remo x anyone (name her/him), and Creator x Lora

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