- Minimania - Posted June 10, 2015 Report Share Posted June 10, 2015 my girlfriend just broke up with me, and i'm not having a blast like some people...how do you get over it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Face McShooty Posted June 10, 2015 Report Share Posted June 10, 2015 I took my time getting over mine... still taking my time but eventually the pain goes away. I got over my ex just by occupying my mind with other things Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VCR_CAT Posted June 10, 2015 Report Share Posted June 10, 2015 If there was an easy solution, I'm sure it would be really widespread by now. Just take your time; try to fill as much of your days with what you like to do and do your best to just get through it. There's really not much I can say other than things can and will get better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not-so-Radiant Arin Posted June 10, 2015 Report Share Posted June 10, 2015 I'm still getting over mine. I haven't had a decent meal in 3 days because of it. It really hurts because I was hurt and betrayed in the process by not only her, but also one of my good friends. Because I simply wanted a shoulder to cry on and no one would listen to me. And because of it, I feel like I can never trust another human being. So my only advice to you is to pick and choose carefully. You can never be sure about anyone's true motives. Besides, love is meaningless. It's just one more person that's getting in your way, ultimately. It's never "you're the one for me"; there's always some lie strewn about it to make it seem believable. Don't listen to a thing anyone says. Everyone is an enemy and no one can be trusted in the end. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rodrigo Posted June 10, 2015 Report Share Posted June 10, 2015 how do you get over it? Â By not being in a relationship in the first place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LordCowCowCowCowCowCowCowCow Posted June 10, 2015 Report Share Posted June 10, 2015 Â Don't listen to a thing anyone says. Everyone is an enemy and no one can be trusted in the end. Don't listen to Arin. Â Â Time is really the key, sorry to say. Just go and do things that you enjoy and over time things will fade. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sethera Posted June 10, 2015 Report Share Posted June 10, 2015 It hurts, and sometimes it doesn't ever really stop hurting, even after a long time. I'm jealous of those people that can get over it really easily, because I'm one of the ones that can't. But also, sometimes people act like it doesn't matter, when it does, so you never know. Â I'm also one of the ones that tends to rebound, which I guess is one way to get over it, but it's not that healthy, and it's not fair to the other person either, so I try not to do it consciously. Â I'd recommend putting your time into other relationships (family, friends, etc.) and taking a break from romance. Sometimes they help to fill in the hole that the person left. Sometimes they also make snide comments, but you just have to find the ones that don't and are there for you. This is what I've found has helped the most, for me at least. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Instinct Posted June 10, 2015 Report Share Posted June 10, 2015 Surround yourself with good friends and company, or preoccupy yourself with other activities. Going out more will help you heal rather than being alone to dwell on it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
- Minimania - Posted June 10, 2015 Author Report Share Posted June 10, 2015 If there was an easy solution, I'm sure it would be really widespread by now. Just take your time; try to fill as much of your days with what you like to do and do your best to just get through it. There's really not much I can say other than things can and will get better. I don't feel like doing the things I previously enjoyed, because I enjoyed doing those things with her... I'm still getting over mine. I haven't had a decent meal in 3 days because of it. It really hurts because I was hurt and betrayed in the process by not only her, but also one of my good friends. Because I simply wanted a shoulder to cry on and no one would listen to me. And because of it, I feel like I can never trust another human being. So my only advice to you is to pick and choose carefully. You can never be sure about anyone's true motives. Besides, love is meaningless. It's just one more person that's getting in your way, ultimately. It's never "you're the one for me"; there's always some lie strewn about it to make it seem believable. Don't listen to a thing anyone says. Everyone is an enemy and no one can be trusted in the end.I would have listened to you, but we have different views on love, apparently, and also, I don't want to end up like you. By not being in a relationship in the first place. Get out of my thread. Don't listen to Arin.  Time is really the key, sorry to say. Just go and do things that you enjoy and over time things will fade. Thanks for reassuring me that there are considerate people on Earth, but again, I don't want to do what I previously did, because I did those things with her... It hurts, and sometimes it doesn't ever really stop hurting, even after a long time. I'm jealous of those people that can get over it really easily, because I'm one of the ones that can't. But also, sometimes people act like it doesn't matter, when it does, so you never know. I'm also one of the ones that tends to rebound, which I guess is one way to get over it, but it's not that healthy, and it's not fair to the other person either, so I try not to do it consciously. I'd recommend putting your time into other relationships (family, friends, etc.) and taking a break from romance. Sometimes they help to fill in the hole that the person left. Sometimes they also make snide comments, but you just have to find the ones that don't and are there for you. This is what I've found has helped the most, for me at least. I'll try to strengthen my other relationships; thank you so much for this. Surround yourself with good friends and company, or preoccupy yourself with other activities. Going out more will help you heal rather than being alone to dwell on it.I just hope it won't dwell in my mind while I'm with others. I could say something that could end up being really harmful and later regret it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LordCowCowCowCowCowCowCowCow Posted June 10, 2015 Report Share Posted June 10, 2015 Well, it's always nice to pick up new hobbies, so you can try and do that as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Posted June 10, 2015 Report Share Posted June 10, 2015 You get over it by understanding that if the chick broke up with you, she's not thinking about you at all. So thinking about her is a waste of time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simping For Hina Posted June 10, 2015 Report Share Posted June 10, 2015 By finding out that that there is no reason to keep thinking about her since there is nothing left to go back to. It is pointless, and even she thinks so; Which is part why you two broke up. It isn't easy, but there is so much more once you do get over it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wahrheit Posted June 10, 2015 Report Share Posted June 10, 2015 Start dating again. Seriously. Time heals all things, sure, but it's well-aided by good company, good food, and (perhaps most importantly - if you're of age) good alcohol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evilfusion Posted June 10, 2015 Report Share Posted June 10, 2015 I've never had a relationship, and probably never will, so I can't truly relate. But I've been told that I have excellent insight into relationships and understanding people despite this. Or perhaps because of it, as there's no emotional bias. Â Give yourself a little time to suffer and adjust to normalcy again. Emotional impacts leave the worst marks. Understand that your feelings perhaps are natural, but that it won't last. Do things to keep your mind occupied, to ease the burden of that sense of loss. There should come a time when you'll feel better, and see the whole thing as a learning device. Â Few people find their soulmate their first try. Or second. Or third. Datings and breakups happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ryusei the Morning Star Posted June 10, 2015 Report Share Posted June 10, 2015 the Crude way of saying it - best way to get over someone is by getting under someone else  More Gentle way - She broke up with because she didn't realize how lucky she was to have you. You are only complimenting her ignorance if you keep mulling over it. When I broke up with my long time GF a couple month ago, she went out, got a new BF within the week. Hopefully the circumstances are not the same, but I definitely realized what I had thrown away.  You sulking will only make her think she made the right choice.  Honest Way of saying it - forget about her, go get someone else, and show her your happiness is not dependent on her  Edit: sorry I was in a rush before. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VCR_CAT Posted June 10, 2015 Report Share Posted June 10, 2015 Also, just to quickly add in after reading some stuff here: Do not try to resort to holding any kind of resent or contempt. Adopting the thoughts that holding this against them to absolve yourself of any responsibility is not a healthy approach. Holding any kind of grudge means you need to hold on to that pain, and if you want to let go of the pain then you need to avoid letting this make you bitter. It's not easy, but it will lead to a much healthier and better outcome from this. Â But from my experience both with depression and my last breakup, one of the best things you can do is to simply find something to distract yourself if you find yourself in a very low state. Pushing yourself to be productive or fight against it or even act like nothing is wrong makes it so much worse. Just take some time to relax and find a healthy outlet of some kind (it's going to be different for every person. For me, I find games like Minecraft or Space Engineers where I can focus on something creative, but at the same time incredibly menial and not requiring of much thought to be incredibly calming and relaxing. The outcomes ended up being some very large constructs, but it really helped take my mind off of things and find a quiet place to relax in my head; maybe find something that can do that for you too). Honestly, it's gonna take time and it's going to suck; I can't sugar coat it and I definitely won't. But I can say from experience that if you slowly but surely take the time to find the healthy outlet for this, and look for any way to better yourself from this experience, it's going to be more than worth it in the end and you definitely will not regret it. Â Just hang in there, take your time, and know that stuff will get better for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
- Minimania - Posted June 10, 2015 Author Report Share Posted June 10, 2015 Also, just to quickly add in after reading some stuff here: Do not try to resort to holding any kind of resent or contempt. Adopting the thoughts that holding this against them to absolve yourself of any responsibility is not a healthy approach. Holding any kind of grudge means you need to hold on to that pain, and if you want to let go of the pain then you need to avoid letting this make you bitter. It's not easy, but it will lead to a much healthier and better outcome from this. But from my experience both with depression and my last breakup, one of the best things you can do is to simply find something to distract yourself if you find yourself in a very low state. Pushing yourself to be productive or fight against it or even act like nothing is wrong makes it so much worse. Just take some time to relax and find a healthy outlet of some kind (it's going to be different for every person. For me, I find games like Minecraft or Space Engineers where I can focus on something creative, but at the same time incredibly menial and not requiring of much thought to be incredibly calming and relaxing. The outcomes ended up being some very large constructs, but it really helped take my mind off of things and find a quiet place to relax in my head; maybe find something that can do that for you too). Honestly, it's gonna take time and it's going to suck; I can't sugar coat it and I definitely won't. But I can say from experience that if you slowly but surely take the time to find the healthy outlet for this, and look for any way to better yourself from this experience, it's going to be more than worth it in the end and you definitely will not regret it. Just hang in there, take your time, and know that stuff will get better for you.So far this is the most helpful thing I recieved, other than hugs from a few others.I am, by nature, not a bitter person, and I'm definitely not the type to hold a grudge. Currently I've tried dueling as an outlet for my pain, and it feels like it's been working a great deal at distracting me from the pain. You should see me wreck these two guys using Red-Eyes, Odd-Eyes, and Hieratics. I literally have a fan on my Devpro server, now.Thank you, not just for the helpful advice, but also for not s***posting in here like some people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wahrheit Posted June 10, 2015 Report Share Posted June 10, 2015 Thank you, not just for the helpful advice, but also for not s***posting in here like some people. Hey, my advice is serious. The best way to get over someone is to get back out there. I'm not kidding. I know it seems hard - perhaps impossible - but if you dive back in, I think you'll find the water's fine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VCR_CAT Posted June 10, 2015 Report Share Posted June 10, 2015 Glad I can help. Remember to get plenty of sleep, keep eating properly, and exercising now and then also helps quite a bit. Things will definitely get better and you're on the right track! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~British Soul~ Posted June 10, 2015 Report Share Posted June 10, 2015 Dunno why I'm even posting here, but the last time someone broke up with me was a good 10 years ago when I was at school, but teh two of us remained friends. I was fine with it and got over it fairly quickly because I focused on school stuffs. I haven't been in a relationship since, and I likely won't get into a relationship for a good while. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Icy Posted June 11, 2015 Report Share Posted June 11, 2015 Start dating again. Seriously. Time heals all things, sure, but it's well-aided by good company, good food, and (perhaps most importantly - if you're of age) good alcohol.  Minus the alcohol (because it'd kill me), the dating thing sounds about right. And not even dating, just flirt with someone. You'll feel a lot better and in time the pain will stop regardless of how strong any other lingering feelings may be and you can move on.  Granted thats just how I handle it but it seems to be the general opinion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sethera Posted June 11, 2015 Report Share Posted June 11, 2015 Now, I have mixed feelings on the whole "start dating" thing as a way to get over a breakup.  It helps. It really does. I know this from experience. But I also don't know if it's really the "right" thing to do either. Flirting or trying to start a new relationship purely to get over an old one...just seems a bit unfair to the person you're doing it with. It's all well and good if it leads to something good, but at least for me, the "rebounds" don't last long, because I'm too hung up on the person I just broke up with. Not only that, but a couple of times the rebound was partly influenced by feeling like I needed a relationship, because I felt like half a person without one, which is an unhealthy attitude to take, I think.  My most recent relationship, I was hung up on somebody who broke it off with me, and I rebounded to someone else who genuinely loved me. I was in a strange in-between of "wanting to be in a relationship again" and "still pining for the other person." I was half-assed and an idiot and yes it did help me get over the previous relationship, but it also broke somebody else's heart.  Obviously, my case isn't universal and probably most of you aren't idiots like me. But what I'm trying to say here is just, be careful, because it's really easy to hurt somebody even if you don't mean to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wahrheit Posted June 11, 2015 Report Share Posted June 11, 2015 It's not a way to get over a breakup, it's a way to get over yourself. You get back out there to get yourself out of stagnation - it's not about using someone else, it's about helping yourself. Of course if you start treating subjects like objects you're going to have problems (see generally: worldwide oppression), but maybe seeing other people as objects, or focusing on them rather than yourself, is part of the problem? Â The reason to start dating again is because it's a way of proving to yourself that you're going to be alright, and there are plenty of great people out there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CLG Klavier Posted June 11, 2015 Report Share Posted June 11, 2015 Guys, "start dating again" is really silly. Your mind is in the mode that tells you that you just lost your most beloved, one-and-only person, and first thing you do is look for another one? Â Give it time. No one knows how much will it take, it's dependant only on you. Do your best to remember the good moments you had, don't remember the bad. Find a hobby, occupy yourself with games, movies, books, whatever works for you. Try to listen to music with positive lyrics, not the sentimental shit, it will just put you in an even worse mood. Â At least how I tried to cope with mine. As I said, it will take a while. But you will get there. Just hang on~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agro Posted June 11, 2015 Report Share Posted June 11, 2015 "If you really cared about her, you won't." - i forget Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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