Yu-Gi-Oh! GX! The Fan Fic (UPDATE: Episode 45 Started! Here's where it gets serious.)

[☨βlack☨]

Well, don't forget, you are copying Yu-Gi-Oh! GX. Your duels won't be that good. LMAO!!!

 

But you guys do make it worth watching.

 

I remember watching the first episode of GX. It was right after watching the Abridged series. I honestly thought it was Yu-Gi-Oh! GX: The Abridged Series because of the hillbilly lmao.

[Weather Report - Stand]

To Bakura-Themed Guy: Okay, I guess that after 1/2 of a season we'll have a comment special(or two so that KaiKae/Rwoaring_Kaisu can do one, too). Thanks for the idea!

To Crimsondude: Yep, I take all of the retarded accents into consideration. Did you notice the guy with the nasally voice? He was in-human.

[Weather Report - Stand]

Part one of episode four as been added.

[schyshter]

only read Ep.1-Pt.1 thus far. funny stuff XD

 

some grammar problems, but nothing major. got a bit confused with some of the covos going on there...

 

Crowler tapped a weird deck holder strapped onto its chest and chanted' date=' “Duel vest, on,” ‘gracefully’ removing five cards from his deck.

“Hey, that’s pretty gay, teach, but how do I get one of those blue duel blazers?” Jaden playfully asked.

 

“When did you see my dad?!” Jaden yelled!

“Last night! Burned!!” Crowler insulted!

“GAY JOKE!!” some guy yelled.[/quote']

 

you have something against gays? jokes like these are somewhat offensive. ionno, maybe it's just me. but i'm hoping the rest of the story keeps away from this type of humor...

[Weather Report - Stand]

only read Ep.1-Pt.1 thus far. funny stuff XD

 

some grammar problems' date=' but nothing major. got a bit confused with some of the covos going on there...

 

Crowler tapped a weird deck holder strapped onto its chest and chanted, “Duel vest, on,” ‘gracefully’ removing five cards from his deck.

“Hey, that’s pretty gay, teach, but how do I get one of those blue duel blazers?” Jaden playfully asked.

 

“When did you see my dad?!” Jaden yelled!

“Last night! Burned!!” Crowler insulted!

“GAY JOKE!!” some guy yelled.

 

you have something against gays? jokes like these are somewhat offensive. ionno, maybe it's just me. but i'm hoping the rest of the story keeps away from this type of humor...

 

Don't worry, I don't drag on with humor like that. I'm straight, but I'm not homophobic. So, yes, that was only a one-episode thing. Well, I only make that kind of joke ONE more time, but at least it wasn't about Crowler that time.

[Weather Report - Stand]

COMPLETE.

[☨βlack☨]

only read Ep.1-Pt.1 thus far. funny stuff XD

 

some grammar problems' date=' but nothing major. got a bit confused with some of the covos going on there...

 

Crowler tapped a weird deck holder strapped onto its chest and chanted, “Duel vest, on,” ‘gracefully’ removing five cards from his deck.

“Hey, that’s pretty gay, teach, but how do I get one of those blue duel blazers?” Jaden playfully asked.

 

“When did you see my dad?!” Jaden yelled!

“Last night! Burned!!” Crowler insulted!

“GAY JOKE!!” some guy yelled.

 

you have something against gays? jokes like these are somewhat offensive. ionno, maybe it's just me. but i'm hoping the rest of the story keeps away from this type of humor...

 

I just wanna add my two cents in here. I understand if jokes can be offensive. But offensive is what makes people laugh. ANYTHING funny can offend another person. Nothing is totally non-offensive. He made a gay joke. If your gay, then be proud of yourself and realize that this is just a JOKE.

 

Anywho, great first part to chapter 4. I enjoyed it very much. =)

[Weather Report - Stand]

You is welcome, Crimson, and your reasoning has revealed how come Family Gyu is so entertaining! Or at least until it started gettin' sucky. Anyways, time to go back on topic, Weather Report...

[☨βlack☨]

Damn, another great chapter, SO FAR. I say this because looking at this in quote only gets you so far.

[Weather Report - Stand]

It was full of SO MANY PLOT TWISTS that... um... I don't really know what it did to me, but it was pretty awesome!

 

~Dedicated to the lives of the children needlessly slaughtered during the Half-Hour War~

[eyeofthedeck]

I can't see chapter 4! What post is it on?

[Weather Report - Stand]

It's on page 3. It's also linked to on the first page, if I'm correct.

[RyanAtlus]

FIXED YO!!!

[spoiler=Episode Three: A Duel in Love]

[spoiler=Part One]http://www.veoh.com/browse/videos/category/anime/watch/v1070119szKE5pkR#watch%3Dv11525947xEkPwdTc

 

Yu-Gi-Oh! GX!

Episode 3: A Duel in Love' date=' Part ONE!!

 

The guitar solo signaled the start of class on “Death-Volcano” Duel Academy Island.

“Duel Monster can be grouped into the following classes: Normal, Effect, Ritual, Fusion and Synchro monsters, and Spells and Traps,” recited Alexis Rhodes in front of a large class, taught by Ms. Crowler. “Trap Cards, ablah blah blah, Counter blah, blah blah, Spell Cards blah.” Every student in the class wasn’t paying attention. They just all sat in their chairs, staring at the clock on the shining, pristine, asbestos-filled wall.

“That was VERY boring, but you still got them all right!” Crowler cheered! “Except for that Synchro mess, they don’t exist. I wouldn’t expect ANYTHING less of my Blue Obelisk students.”

“So reds and yellows don’t matter, huh?” some guy yelled. “RACIST!!”

“And you’re a gaycist. Now who has the most distracting hair in the room… you! Syrus Truesdale.”

“Me?! But look at Beehive Larry!” Syrus whined! “And Mohawk Jill!”

“No, they both have black hair. Yours is MUCH more distracting. Now tell the class what a Field Spell is.”

“A Field Spell is a card that affects the entire field and is a Spell.” Syrus squealed.

“You’re right, I reckon, but since ‘yer wearin’ red, ‘yer AU-TO-MA-TI-CALL-Y WRONG!!” Billy Hills laughed. The entire class laughed, even the Slifer Red students!

“Ha, we’re being ridiculed too!” Beehive Larry giggled, with his tall hair and everything.

“Heh,” Chazz said, wholeheartedly.

“But you just said I was right…”

“Hmmm…” Bastion studied, around other people wearing yellow, “Why am I not laughing? Did I miss the punchline?”

 

“Relax, Sy, they’re all just racist against giant red dragons and cartoon show producers.” Jaden assured.

“What do you mean?”

“I think not,” Crowler cruelly admitted, “I happen to love big-shot producers with illegal trading cards named after them. Now will somebody NOT wearing red give me the answer? We need to ridicule a Ra Yellow as well.”

“Ha ha ha, I could be next!”

“This is stupid…” Syrus muttered.

“Hey, teach,” Jaden spoke up, “You really shouldn’t make fun of the weakest kids in the school, because I beat you, so we’re more powerful than the blues, but weaker than the yellows!”

“YELLOW RULES!!”

“GRRRRRR!!!!” Crowler proceeded to take out a handkerchief and bite on it for some reason as Jaden showed off his peace signs to the class. “THAT’S IT! I WILL NOT TOLERATE THIS SLACKER IN MY SCHOOL FOR ANOTHER SECOND!!”

“Teach, you really gotta tell yourself things in your mind.”

“SHUT UP, JADEN… JADEN YUCKY!!” Nobody laughed at his joke. “But… his last name is ‘Yuki’, so ‘Yucky’ and ‘Yuki’… AAAARGH!! Now will everybody take out your textbooks, and turn to page three.” he commanded, instantly calming down.

 

LATER THAT DAY…

A different teacher was teaching the same group, since they do that teacher-swap thing in Japan. He had a fat cat and weird, Marik hair. “Hello, class,” he greeted, stroking his cat, “My name is Professor Lymon Banner. I specialize in some of the lesser-known strategies in Duel Monsters. And even a few that may even be considered… UNNATURAL!!”

“AAAAH!!”

Jaden, the only boy in class not scared by his proposition, was very bored. Suddenly, Syrus appeared!! “Thanks for earlier, Jaden.”

“What?”

“When you insulted every blue in the school whilst simultaneously taking all of the yellows up a notch.”

“Oh yeah.”

“Syrus,” Mr. Banner called.

“Yes?”

“Pick up Garfield for me.”

“Garfield?! What an unoriginal name!”

“Too bad.”

Turns out that the cat was rubbing against his leg. “MEOW,” the cat meowed, in the voice of Lorenzo Music. Look him up yourself.

Syrus jumped! “THAT CAT SOUNDS WEIRD!!”

 

Meanwhile, in Crowler’s office with a random suit of armor standing inside, it wrote furiously with an old-fashioned quill pen. “How dare that Jaden Yucky make a mockery of me in front of my classroom, then force me to ignore it by teaching children! That’ll be the last mistake he makes at this academy.” It took the note it wrote and placed it (the note) inside of a letter. Then it creepily applied lipstick and kissed the letter! “Now you’re done for! Muhahahahaha!!”

 

Meanwhile, in another large, domed room, the students were now all in TRACK UNIFORMS!! Jaden, surrounded by two random kids, looked around. “If this is a school for card games, then why are we in gym class?” he asked himself. “If we play a luck and strategy based card game, what’s the point of training your body?”

 

And in the locker rooms nearby, Crowler diabolically dashed awkwardly to a locker. And it began inconspicuously opening every locker (why weren’t they locked?!) until she gasped in surprise! “Aha!” It found shoes! “These HAVE to be Jaden’s shoes, because NOBODY ELSE wears shoes that look like that! Not in THIS school! With its uniforms and such.” Giving a ghastly smile, it forced many people watching the show to crap their pants simultaneously.

 

Back in Jaden-place, a bright, happy lady in a similar, purplish track suit (which was oddly tight, making many boys’ noses gush fruit juice (yes, 4Kids made me say that)) walked in, and said “My name is Fonda Fontaine, and it is not a name pun! I’m also your gym class instructor for this year! You ready to sweat?” Jaden gulped. [i']She looks even sexier than Ms. Crowler, and she was ugly!![/i]

 

“Dammit, why can’t the girls gym sign be more noticeable?” Syrus cried, running into the boy’s locker rooms. He opened a locker. “Stupid Jaden, using my locker!” He pulled Jaden’s shoes out of his own locker and a LETTER fell onto the floor! “Gasp! A letter with a kiss on it! What could it be?! A suicide note?!”

 

Syrus looked around, then sneaked into a corner where nobody could see him. “I hope I can stop Jaden from killing himself. This letter’ll tell me all I need to know. If he dies, then I’ll be left alone with that Ko Ala kid, and he’ll eat up all the food in the big winter, leaving me and him to duel to the death so that I can eat his flesh, eventually being found out and getting sent to jail for trying to defend myself! Boy, I hate winter.” He opened the note and read the following transcript;

‘Since the moment I saw you, I’ve been in love with you.’ By now, Syrus was scared of Jaden.

‘Meet me tonight behind the girl’s dorm, endearingly, ALEXIS RHODES?!’ “JADEN’S REALLY ALEXIS, AND HAS THE PSYCHIC ABILITY TO UNDERGO SEX-CHANGE SURGERY AND BE IN TWO PLACES AT THE SAME TIME!!”

 

Syrus stumbled backward and fell on his bottom. “I’M IN DESPAIR!! I’M IN DESPAIR OVER JADEN’S SEXUAL FETISHES!!” Then he thought about it all for a second. “Wait, that one’s a girl, so it’s okay.” Suddenly, he imagined a weird fantasy.

 

Girl Jaden was running in a storm of rose petals. “Syyyyyyruuuus…”, she sighed, oh so provocatively.

Syrus ran through the same area, yelling “Female Jaden named Alexis…” The creepy duo caughgt up with each other in a huge flowery meadow and joined hands. Suddenly her face melted and matched Jaden’s features!!

“GAAAAAH!!” Syrus screamed!!

“Please be mine,” s/he asked softly.

 

“That was overly creepy,” Syrus said, catching his breath.

 

**********

 

Later that night at the Slifer Red dorm…

 

“Hey Sy, the outhouse is all yours.” Jaden entered the sadly crappy-looking building, wiping his hair off. “Note to self. Next time, realize there’s a SINK before using the TOILET for washing your hair…”

“Did you say ‘Outback Café’?!” Koala Ko Ala gasped loudly.

“Um, no. Where’s Syrus?”

Koala shifted on the bed so that he faced Jaden. “He just left to meet girl Jaden at the Obelisk Blue dorm. He was lookin’ MIGHTY pervy.”

“’Pervy’? Syrus’ gone through puberty already? He looks eight, man. I wouldn’t have guessed.”

“Shouldn’t you go rescue him from whatever crap’s about to go down?” Koala suggested.

“Why not you?”

“I don’t wanna.”

“… Jan Ken Pon to decide it?” That’s rock paper scissors in Japanese.

 

Meanwhile, Syrus was rowing across a lake in a random row boat. “I sure am glad that I found that boat wherever it came from again! Now, I’ll go invite female Jaden into a double-suicide, because the true joy of love is finding death together!” he sang! “Ugh, I wish I’d signed up for that rowing class…”

 

But at that same moment, some guy in crappy discount ninja clothing snapped a lock on the gate to the Obelisk Blue swimming pools! The locks clattered to the floor and it ran in like a really lame ninja! It dashed expertly from bush to bush, letting no mere mortal eye comprehend its speed… and at the same time, in a huge nearby building…

 

“Wanna go to the Obelisk hot springs… I mean, wading pools?”

“No way, if we go, then the boys’ll follow, and everything’ll turn to crap in an instant.”

“Hello, girl’s dorm? As in, no boys allowed?”

“Wow, that was stupid of me.”

Crowler’s face eerily poked out of the bushes. “AHH!!” somebody screamed.

“This is perfect!” Crowler announced to the world. “Jaden will come in looking for Alexis, and then I’ll snap a picture of him in the act of walking into a girl’s dorm!” A short animation of this flashed, and Crowler used a digital camera to capture Jaden on photo!

“Oh no not again!!” Jaden screamed!

“And then I’ll have captured him red-handed, and then… uh, nobody’ll like him anymore.”

 

Several feet away, Syrus’s boat landed and he crawled out, carrying several feet of rope. He dashed through the gate, not caring about anything else in the world! My suffering is almost over!!

At the same time, in the Obelisk Blue ‘wading pool’. “Can you believe that since we’re too far out of Japan’s waters, it’s against the law to go into hot springs without a swimsuit?”

“Can you believe how out of place they look?” one girl complained. “This blue is obviously edited in! They just defied all of Japanese tradition!”

“Why are we talking about this? It’s kinda stupid,” Alexis reminded. Yes, it was Alexis, a girl with red hair and a girl with black-ish hair! Don’t Japanese kids have black hair anymore? Chazz doesn’t count. He’s too Chazzy. Alexis suddenly left the pool-hot springs.

“What?! This is a stupid conversation?!?!” the red-haired girl, Angry McArgues, yelled.

“It COULD be, if people cared about it!” the blackish-haired girl, Nancy Wut said for no reason. She’s the dumb one! Tee hee.

“What are you talking about?”

“I don’t know! HELP ME!!”

Outside, Crowler reared its ugly head again, smiling freakily. Suddenly, it frowned ugily. “Huh?” Syrus walked into the scene, still lugging his rope and shaking some pills.

“Come on out, let me degrade you with a picture that will disgust all of your friends and such!!” Crowler still didn’t know it was Syrus.

“Girl Jaden? I have sleeping pills to numb the pain of hanging!” Syrus called.

 

 

“HOLY SHNITZEL!” Crowler screamed, bursting out of the bush! “IT’S THAT SLIFER SLACKER THAT ACTUALY KNOWS WHAT A FIELD SPELL DOES!!”

A girl in pink pajamas stepped out into the fray, wiping her eyes from tiredness. “Who is it?” Several other girls rushed out in anger!

“IT’S A NINJA!!”

“Get’m!!”

“Oh, no, I’m a kunoichi! I’m a girl ninja!” Crowler defended!

“Says you!”

“Escape!” Crowler leaped into the sea, never to be seen by another human again. “Remember me as a woman…”

“Oh, and that guy’s got blue hair!”

“GET’M!!”

Syrus stood dully as dozens of girls surrounded him. “If you make a move, I’ll down these sleeping pills,” he warned, holding up his prescription drugs! Some girls restrained his arms and he dropped his wares! “No, without a rope I can’t hang myself and without my pills I can’t overdose! My threats are useless! Now I’ll be stripped and hung on the walls of the dorm, slowly dying a painful death as the blood drains from my flesh and the birds pluck out my liver, and—“

“What’s the deal, sneaking in here?” Anrgy ordered. “And you’d better have a good reason. We just caught a ninja peeking, and we’re pretty irate now!”Anrgy ordered. “And you’d better have a good reason. We just caught a ninja peeking, and we’re pretty irate now!”

 

Two minutes later in the dorm crafted from pure gold with a giant fountain in the center of the foyer, Angry and Nancy tugged Syrus with a rope to Alexis.

“A love letter from Alexis? Liar, Alexis has no feelings except for awesome!” Nancy yelled.

“Yeah, it’s right in my pocket. Heh.”

“Um, excuse me, but Alexis isn’t stupid, she’s the only girl in this show who was given a personality.”

“But really, here’s the note. Please, Alexis, let’s die together! I have sleeping pills~” The way Syrus said ‘sleeping pills’ was very expressive.

“Um, here, it says my name has a ‘J’ in it. Alexis isn’t spelled with a ‘J’, genius.” Alexis growled.

“I’m sorry Syrus, but Tuesdays are meant for farming,” Nancy explained.

“So then you DON’T want to commit a double suicide?”

“NO.”

“Wait,” Angry pointed out, “This note says ‘Specifically for Jaden Yucky, not that kid who knew what a field spell card is’! You’re an idiot not to notice how obvious that was!”

“Now THAT’S depressing!! I can’t even land a night with GIRL JADEN. Will I EVER be able to live my life, ending in a double suicide with a woman I love?”

“’Girl Jaden’…? Well, sorry Syrus, we’ll just let you go.” Alexis apologized.

 

“I don’t buy it.” Angry pointed at him in a deadly fashion! “He could’ve written it up himself, and you know how much I love arguing!”

“So we need to throw him off the roof because he was doing what men do?” Nancy suggested.

“But I was tricked in a humiliating fashion! That’s unfair!”

“Girls, what on EARTH is going ON down there?” Fonda Fontaine entered the conversation via the balcony!

“Uh…” The three girls awkwardly started hiding him in an odd fashion by sitting on him!

“We were trying to find out how many people could sit on a single stool!” Alexis assured! “Y’know, craaazy teenager stuff!”

“This is oddly pleasing!” Syrus whispered.

“Shut up, chair!” Angry yelled.

“Sorry for sitting so loudly!” Alexis apologized.

“Well, next time you girls should choose a smarter place to do such horribly humiliating acts!” Fontaine ordered, retreating to her quarters.

 

“So what now?” Angry asked as they all got off of the faux-chair.

“I’ll tell you what; we’ll use Syrus as a type of bait,” Alexis said. “Let’s find out about what we were talking about earlier.”

 

Earlier that morning…

“Hey Alexis,” Nancy asked, “D’you think that Jaden kid can play well?”

“I guess so; if I dueled him in an odd situation, I’d really know.”

 

Alexis smiled in a creepily awesome fashion. “I don’t like the looks of this…” Syrus said in response to the upsetting smile.

“I wonder if this’ll get Jaden to show us his real powers…” Alexis wondered.

 

Meanwhile in the Slifer Red dorm, Jaden played a video game while playing Jan-Ken-Pon with Koala repeatedly.

“Jan-Ken-Pon! Jan-Ken-Pon! Jan-Ken-Pon!” Suddenly, Koala threw down something that WASN’T a tie. “JAN-KEN-PON!!” He got scissors, thus beating Jaden’s paper!

“NOOOO!!” Jaden screamed! “I guess I’ve got to save Syrus…” Suddenly, his YugiNav™ beeped! He opened up a new message sent to him.

“We have your friend, Syrus,” a creepy voice told, “And if you want him back, come to the girls’ dorms now.”

“Son of a gun…” Koala gasped. “At least I got to win after a four hundred-game tie match.”

“Oh well, time to go find a random boat!” Jaden tromped out of the room, going to find a boat.

 

Crowler the ninja was using a bamboo pipe to breathe through the water as he treaded away from the dorm. Suddenly he surfaced. “Man, that was uncomfortable. Huh?” He saw another boat crossing the lake.

“Boy, I SURE am glad I just happened to find this boat lying around!!” Jaden cheered.

“What took him so long?”Crowler asked.

“Too bad Syrus hadn’t signed up for that rowing class with me,” Jaden sighed, “He’d have loved it!” He landed on shore and was face-to-face with Alexis and her posse holding Syrus hostage!

“Hi, Jaden.”

“Hey, Syrus, yo! What’s goin’ on here?” Jaden inquired.

“I did something stupid, hoping to commit a double-suicide with a secret lover.”

“He trespassed into the girl’s dorm!” Angry McArgues argued.

“Is that true, Sy? That’s even lower than trying to make a young woman kill herself!!”

“You’re trespassing now, too, Jaden.” Angry reminded.

“Yeah, so if you want to leave scott-free, you need to beat me in a card game right now!” Alexis warned!

“That’s even more unfair than trying to stop a kid from entering your school because he’s two minutes late, then losing and vowing to ruin his life!” Syrus explained!

“Don’t worry, Sy, I know how to beat a girl!”

“WHA?!” Syrus gasped!

“In card games!”

“Oh. Duh.” they all reassured themselves.

“And in real life.”

“GASP!!” everybody gasped!

“Let’s duel, Alexis,” Jaden challenged with fire in his eyes!!

 

TO BE CONCLUDED VERY SOON!!

 

 

[spoiler=Part Two]Yu-Gi-Oh! GX

Episode Three, A Duel in Love, PART TWO!!

 

A few minutes later, Jaden n’ the gang were in the two awesome boats in the middle of the lake, ready to duel!

“This is a stupid place to play,” Syrus mentioned. “While standing on the boat, you could fall and drown, thus ridding the world of your existence forever… and is it true that Alexis is your psychic twin that underwent a sex-change operation?”

“No, I don’t think so,” Jaden told him.

“Okay.”

 

The duelists stared each other down, intent in murdering the opposing player in a harmless card game.

“Well,” Crowler noted, in the water, “A Slifer versus an Obelisk. I wonder how this’ll turn out! Heh… oh, wait.”

“Ready?” Alexis asked.

“Yeah,” Jaden answered, suddenly appearing in a split-screen-thing.

“Woah,” Alexis gasped at the sudden screen-changer-thing.

“LET’S DUEL!” they yelled!

(Jaden: 4000 Life Points

Alexis: 4000 Life Points)

“Get your game on, Alexis!” Jaden suggested.

“Boo,” somebody said.

The onlookers were intent on their own duelists winning. Syrus, to save him and his friend from being put down for sneaking into the girls’ dorm… forever. The girls, to… well, actually, they’re just a******s. Who cares about them?

 

Alexis pulled her hand from her deck, yelling “Alright!” She’d drawn a lame-looking card with a dancer dancing oddly in the dark. How pathetically lonely. “Etoile Cyber, rise!”

Some weird lady appeared, spinning incredibly fast and making the Tasmanian Devil sound from Looney Toons. Suddenly she stopped, revealing that she was in an ugly red and whitish costume, covering her arms with medical bandages!

“Mhm!” she grunted. (Etoile Cyber: 1200 Attack Points) She hovered above the water because, you know, holograms do that.

“I’ll also place a card face-down and end my turn!” Alexis yelled!

 

“Let’s get ready to throw down!” Jaden announced.

“Boo,” somebody said. He drew a card; Sparkman!

“Yes,” Jaden whispered. “I’ll summon the Elemental Hero Sparkman!” A huge blast of electricity shocked the air and Sparkman flew out of it! (Sparkman: 1600 Attack Points)

“That makes a lot of sense!” Syrus yelled!

“And now, he’ll attack your monster with Static Shockwave! It’ll make her hair so frizzy that she’ll NEVER get it straight again!!”

“Was that even a legit threat?!” Syrus gasped!

“Hooyah!” Sparkman held out his arm and a blast of electricity was shot at the woman monster!

“I use my trap card, Double Passe!” Alexis’s card flipped up, with the depressing dancing lady, and the electricity flew around Etoile Cyber and shocked her duel disk! “Nnnagh! Uugh!!” she grunted in ‘pain’.

“That was actually pretty satisfying!” Jaden smiled!

“My Trap card redirects your attack into a direct attack!” Alexis explained. (Alexis: 2400 Life Points)

“That was pretty lame…” Jaden said.

“Then my monster gets to attack YOU!!”

“Ohcrap!!”

 

Etoile Cyber leaped into action, literally! “And also, when my Etoile Cyber attacks, she gains 600 Attack Points!” Alexis announced!

“That sucks!” Etoile Cyber roared and spun like a hell-bent ballerina!! (Etoile Cyber: 1800 Attack Points) She kicked him so hard that he felt nothing, as she was a hologram!

“Aaargh!!” (Jaden: 2200 Life Points)

“Are you alright?” Syrus asked hastily. “Because you should be, since it’s a hologram and all.”

“I guess so. Boy, that Alexis is stupid. She COULD have just summoned something stronger than that wimpo-dimpo monster! Then she wouldn’t have had to lose those life points!”

“W-wimpo-dimpo?!” Syrus exclaimed!

“So you’re impressed?” Alexis asked.

“No, not really. It’s just a card game,” Jaden truthfully said.

“Oh, well. Now, where were we?” Alexis drew a crappy Vanilla card with a bald, purple ice skater with a large pirate earring! “Hm! I summon Blade Skater!”

 

The purple lady appeared and slid onto the water! Sadly she slipped backward stupidly, but then came back and stood next to the ballerina, causing much water displacement!!

“That makes sense, too!” Syrus noticed.

“And then I use Polymerization to fuse my Etoile Cyber and Blade Skater to form…” The two girls spun through the lake and turned into a tornado somehow! “Cyber Blader!” A blue-haired, purple-visored, weird-costumed ice skater leaped out and onto the water! (Cyber Blader: 2100 Attack Points)

That’s even hotter than Elemental Hero Domi--Burstinatrix… Jaden thought.

“Now attack Sparkman with Whirlwind Rage!” Alexis commanded! Cyber Blader began spinning around for a really long time, and then… when you least expected it… KICKED SPARKMAN!! A huge shockwave was sent forth, which decreased Jaden’s life points!

“Damn, that was hot…” (Jaden: 1700 Life Points)

“Jaden, you’re weird…” Syrus whimpered.

 

“Way to go, Alexis!” Nancy cheered.

“Yeah, you’ve got’m! Him beating Ms. Crowler was just a fluke!” Angry yelled!

“Well, it would be my pleasure to prove you wrong, yo! My draw!” He drew a field spell covered in weird technological lines in front of a creepy evil portal. “Totally tubular, man!” he chuckled!

“Why do I hang out with you?” Syrus asked.

“I activate the Spell card; Fusion Gate!” Jaden slapped the creepy card into the Field Spell space! “You oughtta like this one, Syrus!”

“I DON’T LIKE FIELD SPELLS!!”

In stark contrast to Syrus’s wailing, the guitar riffs in the background just got radder than ever! “Now, I can fusion summon a monster without Polymerization!” He held out two monsters in overly dramatic fashions! “Now I fuse these two,” Avian and Burtinatrix. “To form Elemental Hero Flame Wingman!” The dragony wingy man leaped onto the field!

“Oh,” Alexis sighed in an overly sarcastic tone, “It looks like your monster’s gonna attack my Cyber Blader, but since they both have equal attack points, they’ll just destroy each other!”

“Blader is one letter away from bladder!” Nancy reminded.

“Take this, Sarcasm Woman! I use Kishido Spirit!” Jaden activated a card with a man in knight armor full of SAMURAI SPIRIT!! A large pulse was sent through the water. “This card makes it so that my monster can’t be destroyed when he attacks a monster with the same attack points! Plus, his super-power makes you lose life points equal to your hot monster’s attack points!”

“What was that about ‘hot’—“

“Now go, Flame Wingman, and attack her Cyber Bladder—sorry, I didn’t mean it!!” Now she really hates me, I know it! Jaden shed a tear.

 

Flame Wingman flew through the air and powered up his awesome fire dragon arm and blasted flames at Cyber Blader/Bladder! What an idiot. Does he even know what sarcasm means? Alexis thought. I mean, he just called me ‘Sarcasm Woman’! He IS stupid for a ‘Yu’! The flames were met head on by the action-skater’s palm! Then, as if they both just said ‘Wait, this is stupid.’, they stopped and retreated.

“Whubba-huh?!” Jaden exclaimed!

“It’s obvious, my Cyber Bladder can’t be destroyed by—gosh dammit, Nancy, why’d you have to say the bladder thing?!”

“I can’t help it; you know about my condition!”

“She can’t be destroyed when you only have one monster,” Alexis spat out.

“Th-thn that would mean that…”

“YES, Jaden, your turn was completely useless!!” Alexis laughed!

“That’s pretty depressing.”

“Not as depressing as when you lose.”

 

Alexis drew a new card. “This card’s just as situational as your failure card!” She held out an equip card with a black-armored knight with some weird bio-weapon growing out of his arm. It looked painful and disturbing. “I equip my Cyber Bladder…”

“Just go with it, nobody cares,” Angry explained.

“I equip Cyber Bladder with Fusion Weapon!” The techno-bladder’s arm turned into the same thing as in the picture and it released a small electrical shock. (Cyber Blader: 3600 Attack, 2600 Defense)

“This looks bad to the max!” Jaden cringed!

“Go, Bladder, and attack Flame Wingman with Trident Shock!” Cyber Bladder aimed her weird arm at Flame Wingman and fired an electrical discharge at him!

“Ooooooow!!” he growled, just before making an overly dramatic explosion!”

“Argh, the fake smoke’s in my eyes!” (Jaden: 200 Life Points) “You know, you’d have won if you actually SUMMONED another monster!”

“…Too bad! I can’t draw any!”

“If you lose, you’re both getting expelled!” Nancy smiled!

“Shut UP, Nancy!” Angry yelled!

“That’s it, I’m off girls for good! They’re jerks!” Syrus groaned! “And boys, too. Zoophilia and a life of being looked upon as a creepy weirdo, here I come.”

“But animals have genders, too, Sy. And man is the MOST DANGEROUS animal!”

 

Damn, if only I had more than two non-tribute monsters in my deck right now. Why’d I even take them all out just before playing?! Alexis asked herself.

I wonder why most people don’t understand how humans are animals, too! I mean, really, Jaden asked himself. He looked at his Fusion Gate card. Man, that card’s useless right now. Seriously, it’s gonna help me win somehow! He drew… MONSTER REBORN!! “Shiny…”

“Ahh, creepy!” Alexis gasped!

“I summon… Elemental Hero Clayman!” Clayman appeared, made out of clay and stuff! He fell onto the lake… and sank…

“Help me…” he begged! (Clayman: 800 Attack Points)

“ Next I activate Monster Reborn!!” Jaden yelled, confidently! Another tornado appeared and Sparkman jumped out!

“Why does everything have to jump out of tornadoes in this duel?!” Syrus screamed!

“Uh-oh,” Alexis muttered, “He’s making a classic yu-comeback! This won’t end well for Cyber Bladder…”

 

“I’m sorry, Cyber Bladder, but I have to destroy you! I fuse, with Fusion Gate, Sparkman and Clayman, to form…” Jaden pointed into the sky and Clayman’s wet, moldable body clung to Sparkman and they spun for no reason into a malevolent storm!

“ONCE AGAIN, WHAT’S UP WITH THE TORNADOES AND STORMS?!”

A big lightning bolt shocked the lake and turned into a huge fat guy, making large waves! “WoOoOaAh!!” everybody wailed!

“Yow!!” Crowler exclaimed, rocking in the rough surf! “I wish I had brought a boat!!”

 

The fat guy, in yellow body armor, crackled with electrical energy! “Elemental Hero Thunder Giant!” Jaden smiled! (Thunder Giant: 2400 Attack Points)

“M-my Cyber Bladder still has more Attack Points than him…” Alexis pointlessly argued.

“Yeah, but Thunder Giant can destroy any monster who started out with less power than him,” Jaden said.

“B-but that means…”

“Yeah!”

“What?”

“I’m sorry my love, but once you die, you shall live on as a part of my heart forever!!” Jaden cried with tears in his eyes! “Go, Thunder Giant!”

“Groar.” Thunder Giant obeyed and held his hand above Cyber Bladder, and his ELECTRO PLAMS SHOCKED HER INTO OBLIVION!!

“I forgive you…” she whispered, loudly enough for everyone to hear.

“And now, Thunder Giant, use Voltic Thunder(in no relation to Elemental Hero Voltic)!” Jaden sent his giant to deal a crushing blow to Alexis’ Life Points, ending the game! A blast of volt-y thunder shocked Alexis to the holographic core!

“Nooooooooooooo.” And for some reason, some electricity shocked Crowler as well.

“THIS ISN’T A GOOD JOOOOOKE!!”

 

Alexis slumped onto the boat. (Alexis: 0 Life Points. Game Over.)

“Alexis, are you okay?” Angry worriedly asked.

“What just happened?” Nancy asked. Nobody was surprised.

“Hooray, I don’t have to get married to a cat now!” Syrus laughed, hugging Jaden!

“That’s gay!” Jaden yelled, pushing him off.

“Sorry.”

 

Several seconds later, the two boats had been moved closer together to talk about stuff.

“Well, Alexis, a deal’s a deal, yo.” Jaden reminded.

“Alright, we’ll keep your secret for you so that people don’t look down on you forever, thus ruining your lives so that nobody will come near you and you’ll have to commit zoophilia,” Alexis agreed.

Her mind’s so hot, Syrus told himself.

“Well, I say that we be complete jerkasses and turn them in to the eki-in!” Angry yelled! They stared at her, confused. “Look it up, it’s a Japanese thing!”

“Nobody asked you, and nobody asked because you always argue about stuff!” Alexis yelled back!

“But Alexis…”

“It’s IN YOUR LAST NAME. We’re not STUPID.”

“Anyways, that was a cool duel!” Jaden said randomly. “Heh, I rhymed.”

“Heh, you noticed that he fell in love with Cyber Bladder while we were playing?” Nancy revealed. “I’d call that… a DUEL in LOVE! Ha ha!”

“Aaaanyways,” Alexis sighed. Jaden and Syrus both got into optimal rowing positions!

“Well, see ya, we’ve got A LOT of rowing to do!” Jaden waved, leaving.

“Vitamin C you later!” Nancy bade.

 

Man, I wish that Nancy would just shut up sometimes, Alexis told herself.

My last name has ‘Argue’ in it? I’ve never realized that… Angry noticed.

Spuds, Nancy silently smiled.

I REALLY wish I’d brought a boat… Crowler sadly told itself as it swam back to the school.

 

 

 

[spoiler=Episode Four (Written by Weather Report): Making the Grade]

[spoiler=Part One]http://www.veoh.com/browse/videos/category/anime/watch/v1070119szKE5pkR#watch%3Dv11525948ReQwSxPN

 

 

Yu-Gi-Oh! GX!

Episode 4: Making the Grade

PART ONE!!

 

The guitar was on vacation today, and replaced by THE NEW YORK SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA!! The music was loud and exciting, and the ocean was all abuzz with ADVENTURE!! “Attention, everyone,” some guy said over an intercom to dozens of helicopters, huge ships , submarines and two giant movie monsters, “It’s been a long journey and we’ve lost hundreds of great soldiers to make it this far, but it’s all paid off since we’re almost there.” Some sailors and their captain were standing and pushing buttons and twisting knobs inside the main ship.

“Look like the goods are all safe,” the captain said, weeping with joy. “We made it.” He had a briefcase labeled ‘DA’ in fancy print.

“But sir,” one sailor asked, “Was it really necessary to send out the ENTIRE U.S. Navy for this job—“ The captain shot him in the head.

“Do YOU have anything to say?” he asked the other sailor.

“Uh…” He was shot as well.

“NOBODY MESSES WITH TRADING CARD GAMES ON MY SHIP.” He pushed the cadavers out of the way and stated manning the ship. He pulled out some sort of intercom device and announced, “Everyone, full steam ahead! This is the moment we’ve been working for! Waiting for! The moment where Duel Academy Japan gets their new trading card booster packs!”

 

The entire Navy joined together in joy and jubilation! They cheered so hard that their hearts were united under the summer sun! Even the giant monsters blasted gamma rays into the sky with glee, furthering global warming at an alarming rate!

 

NOBODY plays around with TRADING CARDS.

 

Meanwhile, at the Slifer Toolshed, Jaden was sleeping well past 12:00 PM. “Snore, snore, snore, snore, snore…” he chanted, still asleep. Syrus was sleepily worshipping a poster of a deer by the desk in their room.

“Please, spirit of the deer head in the Duel Dome, help me pass my exams!” he begged. “I deserve this, especially since Jaden’s too loud to sleep around! I feel like I’m going to die of exhaustion or annoyance! PLEASE help me get promoted AWAY from Jaden and his stupid, literal snoring!” Suddenly, a bomb went off! “DAAAAAAH, I’M DYING NOW!! Wait…” He walked over to Jaden, still annoying, and noticed his bomb-shaped alarm clock. It kept repeatedly making realistic explosion sounds, rocking the entire toolshed. “Oh, just that retarded clock…” Syrus started pushing Jaden. “Jaden, wake up and turn off that stupid clock already! My ears are bleeding!!”

 

“ROOOOOOOAR!!” Jaden burst out of bed, smashing Syrus into the wall and obliterating the alarm clock like Exodia obliterates Life Points. “I TRIGGER MY TRAP CARD!!”

“Why can’t he just dream in Defense Mode?” Syrus asked himself.

“BOO!” somebody said.

“No, Syrus,” Koala Ko Ala butted in, “You gotta let’m sleep! See, after our Normal Trap cards test, we have our Six Samurais test, and after that, the Metal Raiders exam! Wouldn’t it be TOTALLY LICIOUS if Jaden slept through it?”

“That’s a stupid idea that makes no sense.”

“Failures make me smile,” Koala explained. “Plus, after THAT, we have the Duel Exams, where we have to duel some OTHER guy who sucks… or JADEN. That way, we’re eliminating the competition!”

“Koala, that idea’s stupid, but it just might not work! We’d probably not duel him anyways in the first place!” Syrus protested! “AND, on top of that, we might have to duel Someone Jones and his Gasper Ghosts deck, or maybe even Mohawk Jill, the toughest Red in school, mistress of the Punk Rockers archetype!”

“Hm, you MAY have a point… wake him up and get’m to fight Mohawk Jill, hurry!” Koala cried!

“Jaden, wake up and duel the strongest student in school for us so that we don’t have to face soul-crushing public humiliatiooooooooon!! Oh, I don’t have time for this!” Syrus bolted out of the room.

“You know, I don’t even GO to the school here,” Koala remembered, “I just stay since I have no home.”

 

Syrus dashed down the stairs of the Slifer Toolshed as the seven other rooms filled with every other Red broke, releasing HUNDREDS of students sprawling near the cliff. “Damn, they really hate us Reds,” Syrus muttered. “Putting all of those other students into the other seven rooms in the shack… wait! I could’ve been in there, and thoroughly CRUSHED by FAT people! Aw, man, now I feel bad for them so they can take advantage of me—“ He fell onto the concrete walkway leading to the school, breaking his nose. “WAAAAAAH, MY NOOOOOSE!! I’M BLEEDING TO DEATH!!”

 

Twenty seconds later, Jaden leaped off of the balcony, finishing up a continental breakfast created by Chumley, and leaping off of the struggling kid’s heads as they stood up. “Ow, my broken neck,” one guy said.

“Boy, that Chumley SURE can make breakfast!” Jaden smiled. “I need to ask why Syrus’s worshipping a deer, though.” Jaden threw his dirty plate and utensils behind his back as he left the crowd.

“My neck’s still broken… ow! A plate!”

“THE FORK! IT’S IN MY EYE!!”

 

Jaden soon came across a fat lady pushing a car uphill. “Watch out! I’m running far faster than possible,” Jaden warned! He passed by, leaving a huge dust cloud in his wake! “Wait, ‘dat lady there was in a jam, yo! I’ve gotta help her!” He re-appeared behind the lady somehow and helped push. “Don’t worry, I’m here to help!”

“Oh, thank you, young man!” she thanked. “Not many kids today would help old ladies pushing cars anymore, with their electric scooters, and their potato chips, and their walkmans and their game boys.”

“Actually, ma’am, it MAY help if you DRIVE the car up the hill,” Jaden suggested.

“Oh my gosh, I forgot you could do that with cars AND trucks!”

 

 

MEANWHILE, IN PROF. BANNER’S CLASS…

Rows and rows of students were taking their easy Normal Trap card test. “Remember students, you have 45 minutes left to take the test,” he said in his overly soft voice.

“Teacher, everybody’s FINISHED,” a guy with shades explained, “Everybody except for Barry the Beginner.”

“It’s not my fault that I don’t know what a Trap card is!” some kid yelled. He had hair that slightly resemble Yugi’s, but it was black with a little red at the edges. “Just for that remark, I’m stealing Yugi Mutou’s deck! You’ll see! YOU’LL ALL SEE!!”

“Simmer down, idiot students,” Banner ordered. “I bet that you missed a TON of questions with those shades on. Take them off and check your answers.”

“Why would I have…” The boy removed his glasses and glanced at his paper. “Holy crap! There was a question SIX?! I TOTALLY missed that!”

 

Syrus was holding his head face-down on the desk, whispering to himself. “Okay, so note to self, Barry the Beginner will steal Yugi’s deck in about 14 more adventures, give-or-take.”

“I didn’t know that this was an ORAL exam, Sy!” Jaden was on da loose! He sat down next to Syrus.

“Jay! See, how do you like YOUR nickname, Jay?”

“SHUT UP, WE’RE CHECKING OUR ANSWERS!!”

“I really don’t like it.”

“Well, don’t call me Sy!”

“You never told me it annoyed you.”

“See, it all started when I was alone in my room when I was six—“

“SHUT UP!!” Chazz exploded from a few rows away. “YOUR VOICES INFURIATE ME!! JUST LET US TAKE THE FRAGGING TEST!!”

“Thanks a lot, Pointy-Head! Now I can’t concentrate!” Beehive Larry exclaimed.

Jaden turned around and gave Chazz a piece of his mind. “Yo, stop trippin’! You got NO RIGHT to tell me ‘ta stop talking! It’s not like this is an IMPORTANT TEST or anything!”

“What kind of idiot ARE you?”

“Actually,” Banner said, startling Jaden, “The test will only amount to 2% of your quarterly grade, so it actually DOESN’T matter in the SLIGHTEST. But still Jaden, shut the hell up and get your exam.”

“Ha, I was right!” Jaden awkwardly grinned. “I’m a-comin’!”

 

I wish that everybody would just shut up and finish already, Alexis thought, I have better things to do than explain what’s in the picture of Magic Cylinder.

Hmm, Bastion wondered, studying his test, What’s this ‘Trap Hole’ card the test talks about?

Stupid Bastion, Alexis mocked.

WHO SAID THAT?! Bastion panicked.

 

Two minutes later, Jaden finished his impossibly easy test and used Syrus as a pillow. “I feel uncomfortable,” Syrus bellyached.

“Shut up and act comfortable, please!”

But at that moment, near a door, somebody screamed “OH BLOODY HELL!! AAAAARGGH!!” But nobody paid any attention, because this happened often. Ms. Crowler was forcing its face through the door.

“Oh, that Jaden can rest easy now,” it plotted, “But soon enough, he’ll be taking a NIGHTMARE of a duel exam! Ha ha ha!”

“WE CAN ALL HEAR YOU,” the entire room sighed.

“Me too, teach!” Jaden chimed in.

 

An advertisement appeared to break up the nonstop action. The Yu-Gi-Oh! GX icon appeared in a reddish backdrop as an announcer said, “Yu-Gi-Oh! GX is sponsored by… Yu-Gi-Oh! GX, since nobody else cares! Oh and 4Kids.”

“C’MON AND GET YOUR GAME OOOOOON!!”

 

Suddenly, for no reason, it immediately happened AGAIN right after that.

“C’MON AND GET YOUR GAME OOOOOON!!”

 

It turns out that it was actually the U.S. NAVY THEME SONG COMMERCIAL!! The captain of the ship from earlier held up a walkie-talkie and spoke into it, “Okay boys, twice is enough! Stop! Dang, it’s so annoying! Just send in the choppers.” He put away the walkie-talkie and several helicopters flew past. “Man, that’s so inspirational to me,” he said, wiping away tears with his booster pack briefcase.

 

“Alright class,” Banner calmly explained, “The Metal Raiders set exam is now complete, and we’re now under attack by U.S. Navy helicopters, signifying that our new booster packs are here. Get in line.”

“Wait, you mean that the NAVY sent us CARDS?! Don’t they only do that for poor countries in times of war?”

“Who cares?”

“Wait,” one stupid kid thought aloud, “Our country’s at WAR with EUROPE and we need these cards to DEFEND OURSELVES?!”

“No, that’s not it at all—“

The entire class exploded through the doors, pushing and shoving the competition. “I’m gonna get those cards if it’s the last thing I do!”

“No, I’LL defeat those darn French ONCE AND FOR ALL!!”

“Ow, I’m being trampled.”

“WHO FREAKIN’ CARES?!”

 

Chazz was staring at some papers in the room, not budging. “Chazz, Chazz, I reckon!” Billy Hills urgently pressured.

“Chazz, the new cards are here, huh?” Deep-Voice Dobbson asked, I guess.

“Why should I care?”

“You can sell’m on E-Bay, I reckon!”

Chazz threw his papers on the ground. “Go get me some crappy cards and we’ll sell them for 500% profit.”

 

“Snore, snore, snore, snore…”

“Wake up,” Bastion ordered Syrus and Jaden. “Wake up or else my English voice will enter your dreams and give you a nightmare about having a British voice!”

“WHAAAAAT?!?!” Syrus screamed, waking up. “I saw on a show once that if your accent changes so suddenly, then you have an un-operable brain worm eating your language centers in your head!! Wait, the patron spirit of Slifer isn’t a deer-head, is it?”

“Why are you asking me?”

“It’s called SLIFER Red, Sy.” Jaden woke up explaining.

“I’ll ignore that. Where’d everybody go?” Syrus asked, realizing how empty the room was.”

“Oh, Europe declared war on Japan, so everybody’s going to pick up the cards the U.S. Navy dropped off for us to defend themselves,” Bastion sighed. “Looks like every time I move someplace, Europe just HAPPENS to declare war on it…”

“EUROPE HASN’T DONE SUCH A THING IN YEARS!! Boy, I sure believe you! Let’s go get some supplies!”

“Now hold on Syrus,” Bastion held off in a creepy pose.

“Ugh, that pose is creepy.”

“Shouldn’t we wait for the crowds to disperse first so that we don’t get trampled?”

“But everybody left a while ago,” Syrus reminded.

“Oh, yeah.”

“Come on, Jaden, let’s ditch him and save ourselves!” Syrus suggested!

“What took you so long to come up with that? Let’s go!” beckoned Jaden, with a hyper-active smile on his face!

As the duo ran off, Bastion outstretched his arm! “Wait, I can be an emergency food supply!! Don’t leave me alone!”

 

Several retarded students ran up to the card shop, sealed off by a large, metal gate. Some people whacked at it with their fists, others slapped the dead bodies of recently-trampled students against it, making large dents. “LET US IN!!”

“I WANT TO LIVE!!”

“STOP SMASHING ME INTO THE DOOR! I’M NOT DEAD YET!!”

Several army hummers drove in front of the school and released dozens of black-garbed identical soldiers into the building! “HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT!” they chanted while running.

“Holy crap, the Europeans have come to steal our Duel Monsters technology!” somebody cried at the sight of them, before slipping on blood. They were totally surrounded. Then, they all spread up against the walls, allowing a single CAPTAIN to come through.

 

“Oh children,” he laughed, “Lookin’ fer THESE?” The idiot captain held up his briefcase into the air!

“NOO!! THE EUROPEANS HAVE SENT OUT A TEXAN WHO LIVES IN SPAIN TO CAPTURE OUR CARDS AND SHOVE THEM IN OUR FACES!” somebody cried.

“Rescue Cat help us all!!”

“Naw, kids!” the captain protested. “Gosh darnit, every time I come ‘n deliver the next set, y’all turn it into a gosh-darn bloodbath!” He kicked a disembodied head out of the way.

“That was my brother,”

“Who cares? I’m delivering the new set of cards to the survivors!!” he cheered! “Oh, and Europe just surrendered when they found out that a new set was just released in Japan.”

“WOO-HOO!!” The legion of teens who had just survived the Half-Hour War were clapping as hard as they could, screaming and crying and hugging one another!

“Will you marry me?” one guy with a moustache asked a girl!

“Yes, yes I will!!” Nancy Wut replied! They both leaped into a limo labeled ‘Just Married’ and drove down the hallway, somehow making that hard right turn. And everybody was laughing and cheering for the man who’d just saved the world from a Worldwide Duel Holocaust, the young couple that had just left, and the brave souls who’d been forced to give up their lives to save the others.

 

This happens EVERY THREE MONTHS.

 

The captain opened up the steel gate, prompting one guy to say “So THAT’S how we open it!”, and turned to the students saying “Come’n get it!” Every last living student crammed themselves into the little shop and opened up the briefcase, revealing… a heavily censored group of documents.

“AAAARGH!!” Everybody was blasted away by the sheer wall-banger that had just occurred.

“Whoopsie, wrong briefcase.” The captain took the briefcase, ran out of the school, pulled out the keys to the ship, ran in, drove it back to America, swapped the cases at the U.S. Marine Base, drove back, ran back in and slammed in on the table. It held a piece of paper.

“What’s up? What happened to the cards?” a random guy asked.

“You know the rules,” the young lady who worked at the shop who’d also never been mentioned before reminded in a New Yorker accent, “First come, first served.”

“WHAT?!”

“And I was first, so I bought every one,” someCROWLERkid in a black cape and hat smirked.

“WHAT?!”

“My sons died for THIS?!”

“REMEMBER THE FALLEN, CROWLER, REMEMBER THE SACRIFICES!!”

 

“C’mon Sy, let’s make tracks!” Jaden commanded, skidding into the hallway on a pool of blood.

“I told you that I hated that name! Woah!” Syrus almost fell over by slipping on a disemboweled stomach. They entered the shop, which was SO empty that a thin mist covered the area. “Where IS everyone? We have to protect ourselves from the Spanish! I heard they have a new archetype that negates Spell cards!”

“Wait, don’t tell me they’ve… RUN OUT OF CARDS!!” The two scrambled over to the desk, which was run by that lady from earlier with the accent. Her nametag read ‘Countergirl Williams’. “’Scuse me, Countergirl, but please tell me that you still have some cards left!”

“Of COU’SE we still have ‘sum ca’ds, but jus’ regulah ones,” she explained, loudly chewing some gum. “He’a ya go.” She handed them a green ‘Duel Academy’ booster pack with a Gagagigo action pose.

“Aw, but that ‘Gagagigo Redemption’ pack is based around that dumb ol’ Gagagigo card nobody likes! It’s all about the ALIEN cards now!”

“Great, I’m gonna lose the exam,” Syrus whined, because I have to replace my cards with stuff like Gagagigo and Gogiga Gagagigo since I didn’t get anything better, and then I’m going to flunk out of school, and then—“

“Stop monologuing! I’m trying to think of something!” Jaden ordered.

“But you KNOW that’s my thing!”

“Just take the pack already before I throw up on you.”

“Yipes! Why don’t you just take it so that I don’t have to feel the crushing blow that is getting Gigobyte?”

“Because YOU deserve it more than me,” Jaden explained.

“That was mean.”

“I didn’t mean it like THAT…”

 

“Yoo-hoo!” a familiar voice called, “Driving boy!”

“Oh, it’s you!” The fat lady from before entered the scene! ZAM! “You work here?” Jaden asked.

“Oh no, I own the shop! The ‘bee’s knees’, huh?”

“Sorry, yo, but nobody says that anymore.”

“How do you know her, Jaden?” Syrus inquired. “Don’t tell me that… you sold your body to her?”

“You’re disgusting! I just helped her out with a broken-down truck that actually wasn’t broken down, they just hadn’t driven it before for some reason…. Well, it was complicated.”

“Oh, before I forget, I have something for you!” the lady said. On closer inspection, her nametag read ‘Ms. Dorothy’. “Just call it a ‘thank you’ for earlier.” And she presented Jaden with the WORST CARD EVER…

 

But enough about that, because now we’re inside the 2nd floor corridors, where Chazz and his posse were walking on a dangerous hallway suspended FORTY FEET IN THE AIR!! “And then, some guy said he’d bought up all the cards already, I reckon!” Billy Hills explained.

“Yeah, we couldn’t get you any, Chazz, huh, sorry.”

“Damnit, you buffoons, what do you think I pay you for?” Chazz ordered.

“We don’t get paid, huh, Chazz.”

“So what? I grace you with my presence! Anyways, at least I know that nobody could get any of those presumably awesome cards and beat me, so my victory today is assured. ”

“Unless that student happens to be Jaden Yucky,” something cackled.

“Who—mummy?!” Chazz whirled around and saw some guyCROWLERin a black cape and hat.

“Hey, it’s that Crowler lady, I reckon!” Billy Hills gasped! “They took all the cards earlier!”

“What cards, you mean THESE cards?” Like a flasher, Crowler opened up its cape and revealed that several cards were attached to the fabric! Never-before-seen cards (in this dimension), such as OJAMA KING, and HAMMER SHOT!!

“Woah, now I sense foreshadowing in that Ojama King card, huh, Chazz, huh?”

“I’ve never reckoned so much in my life!”

“So, my boy, would you like to accept these cards from.. you mother?” Crowler whipped its cape away, revealing its true face and sending many cards into the air, fluttering down onto the first floor! “Wait—oh, crap!”

“Cool, Duel Monsters cards!” some nasally-voiced kid screamed, picking up the cards!

“Wait, unhand those cards!” Crowler ordered! “Darn, looks like the Ojama King deck’s a bust.”

“Mum,” Chazz asked, “Why’d you get all of those cards? Was it… love for your son?”

“No, an EVIL PLAN to make JADEN YUCKY get an F!” Crowler laughed!

“What an ingenious plan, I reckon!” Billy Hills cheered!

“And,” Crowler continued, “I want YOU to be the one to use this new deck to beat him!” He pointed to Chazz!

“But we’re not in the same dorm! They won’t let me be his test opponent,” Chazz inferred.

“Oh, I’m not talking about YOU,” Crowler corrected, “I’m pointing to DEEP-VOICE DOBBSON!!”

“GASP!!” the trio gasped!

“HUH, CHAZZ, HUUUUUH?!?!”

 

TO BE CONTINUED...

 

 

[spoiler=Part Two]

Yu-Gi-Oh! GX!

Episode 4: Making the Grade

PART TWO!!

 

“YOU MEAN I’M GOING TO DUEL JADEN, HUH?!” Deep-Voice Dobbson gasped!

“Yes, and all you have to do is show up and put Jaden Yucky in his place in front of the entire academy! Wahahaha! Pulling strings is fun.”

“Wait, why not me, your own “flesh” and “blood”, even though we all know that you never birthed me! What’s HE got that I DON’T?” Chazz whined.

“Well, the Ojama deck was made just for you, but since I dropped it, now I have to give the back-up deck to the kid with the deep voice,” Crowler explained.

“GRRR!!” Chazz stormed off. “I WON’T FORGET THIIIIIIS!!”

 

Suddenly, Jaden screamed somewhere! “AAAAAAUGH!! I’m dueling an OBELISK!! And it’s DEEP-VOICE DOBBSON?!?! What grudge does HE have against ME?!”

“Oh,” Crowler sighed, walking onto the field as the duelists got ready for their exams, “Yes, well you always TALK such a big game, so I pulled some strings to help you SHOW how good you really are. Pulling strings is fun. So buck up, soldier, you get to face one of the strongest players at the school today and prove to us all how spectacular you really are!”

Many, many, many students who’d get to duel in just a half-hour looked on at this great injustice. I’ve got a BAAD feeling about this, Syrus told himself, And when I get a bad feeling, I get indigestion. Uh-oh…

I sure wish that I had that last Gagagigo card for my deck today, Bastion told himself, Then I’d get to show it off to the school, complete with my three Ring of Destruction cards.

Oh, I got one of those cards today, Syrus thought. Wanna trade?

Sure, I’ll give you an UFOroid for it.

 

“Alright, Dobbson, get your game on!” Jaden cheered.

“BOO!” somebody yelled.

“Let’s finish what we started… oh, wait, I never dueled you before.”

“Indeed,” Crowler said, “You can try to prove yourself against Deep-Voice’s perfect deck in front of the whole school.”

“Uh, um… yeah, huh!” Deep-Voice Dobbson sheepishly agreed. He was shy, being in front of all those spectators.

“You didn’t say Chazz at the end!” Jaden realized!

“Well, I, huh, only say that when I’m around Chazz…”

“Okay.”

 

Both players placed their decks into their duel disks and Crowler ran off.

“DUEL!!”

“I’m not lettin’ up on some sorta deep-voiced guy!” Jaden growled. (Jaden: 4000 Life Points)

“Bring it, huh!” (Deep-Voice Dobbson: 4000 Life Points)

“Look at’m go, Chazz, I reckon!” Billy Hills cheered from the sidelines with Chazz. “He’s gonna whup this Slifer slacker’s butt, I reckon!”

“Shut up, ingrate,” Chazz demanded. “It should be ME up there. I was the one who almost beat him before, why’d he choose Deep-Voice Dobbson?”

“I reckon you’re just jealous.”

 

“I’m kickin’ this game off!” Jaden drew his card with INTENSE GRAPHICS behind him!

“OOH,” the card said. It was Winged Kuriboh.

“Looks like this time you’re gonna be slightly more useful, but only if that guy’s stupid enough to fall for it!” Jaden scanned his cards and summoned Elemental Hero Clayman! “Hey Deep-Voice? You remember him from the last duel?” (Clayman: 2000 Defense Points)

HE SUMMONED A MONSTER! Syrus exclaimed.

HE SUMMONED A MONSTER! Bastion exclaimed.

HE SUMMONED A MONSTER! Alexis exclaimed.

HE SUMMONED A MONSTER! Crowler exclaimed.

“YOU JUST-JUST-JUST SUMMONED A MONSTERRRR, HUH!!” Deep-Voice Dobbson exclaimed.

 

“Well, huh, that guy’s not gonna stand up for long against ME!” Deep-Voice growled. “Draw!” Deep-Voice drew his new card. Thanks for the new card, Chazz’s creepy mom! “I summon the mighty Bass Beast!” A large lion with a deep singing voice stood on two feet and growled at Jaden.

“Grrrrrr!” it sang in its deep voice!

“Holy moley!” Jaden gasped! “It has such a deep voice!”

“No wonder mum said I’d never be able to use such a deck…” Chazz muttered in awe.

“And that’s not all!” Deep-Voice Dobbson continued! “Check out the magic of Opera Hall!” A spell card appeared, showcasing a fat opera singer performing with an opera robot. “Once per turn, I can special summon one ‘Bass’ monster from my hand! And I’ve got the best one: Bass Caterpillar!” A huge green cartoony caterpillar appeared with a microphone!

“LAAAAAAA…” he sang in his equally deep voice.

“Now, let your singing powers combine, huh! I remove both of them to Special Summon Bass Aircraft, huh!” Deep-Voice Dobbson removed both creatures with wonderful voices from the field. However, the hologram of the caterpillar started to fire out flames, launching it into the air! It swirled and Bass Beast leaped into him! They combined into a ball of light, which exploded into an army airplane!

“LAAAA~” it sang.

“Its voice is so awesome!!” Jaden gasped! (Bass Aircraft: 2000 Attack Points)

 

“I’m not done yet, huh, Jaden, huh, since I can now use my awesome plane’s singing ability!”

“That’s no good!” Jaden said just like Sonic the Hedgehog even adding the arm movements.

“That was a stupid joke!” Syrus complained.

“By sending one of my cards to the Graveyard, huh,” Deep-Voice Dobbson explained, “My Bass Aircraft turns one of your monsters into Attck Mode!”

“Laaaaaaa, lalalalalalalalaaaaaaa~” the plane sang, with the voice of a deep-voiced male angel. Clayman stood up and placed his hand to his ear to hear.

“No, Clayman! Don’t listen, opera music’s boring!” Jaden urged!

“Now, huh, Bass Aircraft, huh, use your Deep-Seeking Missile attack!” The airplane shot out several missiles at Clayman, blowing him up.

“Nose!” Jaden gasped, blocking his face from the smoke. (Jaden: 2800 Life Points)

“AAAAAAAAWW!!” the crowd collectively gasped!

“Well,” Crowler said from within an office overlooking the duel with Chancellor Shephard, “Looks like Jaden can’t play with the big boys AFTER all right?”

“I dunno,” Chancellor Shephard answered.

 

“And now, I’ll end my turn, huh!” Deep-Voice Dobbson yelled.

“Alright, I’m just gettin’ warmed up! Speaking of ‘warm’, here’s a guy who can really bring on ‘da heat, yo! Elemental Hero Sparkman!!” Jaden summoned the Sparkman we all know and love. “In Defense Mode,” he added. Spark Man appeared with a huge spark!

“Bleh!” he growled after posing about a bajillion times. (Sparkman: 1400 Defense Points)

“W-wait, huh! That doesn’t make sense, huh: an electrical guy does NOT use fire, so he has nothing to do with heat!!”

“… Yeah, just keep tellin’ yourself that.”

HE IGNORED IT, HUH!!

“Woah, he summoned another monster!!” the entire school gaped. Not gasped, just gaped.

“I’ll also set a card face-down.”

 

“I’m so amazed that he was able to summon another monster,” Bastion noted.

“I know, I’m mesmerized!” Syrus agreed.

This is so stupid, Alexis thought. If we all know that he’s going to win after a big struggle, why is it such an amazing thing if he summons another monster? They’re all idiots, IDIOTS!!

“Ready for more, huh, Jaden, huh?” Deep-Voice asked. “I summon Bass Mouth in attack mode, huh!” A giant pair of singing lips appeared. “Then, due to my Opera Hall card I can Special Summon the Bass Robot, huh!” The robot from the card image appeared as well!

“La-la-la-laaaaaa!” the two monsters sang in their respective deep voices.

“No way! Their singing voices have melted my heart!” Syrus screamed!

“There’s even a mouth? That’s funny!” Jaden realized.

“Now I play my face-down card, Call of the Haunted, huh!” Deep-Voice Dobbson yelled, triggering his Trap! A spooky graveyard scene appeared on the card! “I can summon the Bass Potato I discarded before for Bass Aircraft’s ability to the field, huh!” A large potato with human lips appeared!

“LAAAAAA.”

“Holy crap!” Syrus gasped!

“IT CAN’T BE!! A POTATO?!” Bastion roared in surprise!

“I can’t believe it!” Chazz said. “He actually summoned a potato to the field! With human lips, no less!!”

“It’s amazin’, huh, I reckon!” Billy Hills cheered!

 

“Now, I’ll fuse my three monsters, huh! I remove them all from the field!” His robot picked up the potato and put it into the mouth. The Bass Mouth released a massive electrical charge, lighting up the entire Duel Dome! Then the Bass Robot threw it into the air and it blasted a massive energy burst at it! They combined in the huge energy storm to become a bust of an opera singer!

“LALALA LAAAAAA!!” it sang in the most perfect opera voice you’ve ever heard!

“It’s Bass Statue, huh!!” (Bass Statue: 2800 Attack Points)

“No freakin’ way, man, no freakin’ way!!” Syrus screeched! “If Dobbson doesn’t do something stupid right now, he’s won already!! Game over, man, game over!”

“WILL YOU GET AHOLD OF YOURSELF?!” Bastion ordered, smacking Syrus upside the head!

“Ow.”

“I’m over here!” Nancy Wut said, since if you paid attention to the scene, you could see her standing next to Bastion.

 

“Chazz, I reckon that I got a look at Deep-Voice Dobbson’s voice earlier!” Billy Hills explained. “I saw that by discardin’ a card, Bass Bust could destroy a card, so I reckon that if he doesn’t do anything stupid, he already wins!”

“You’re right!” Chazz yelled! “If he destroys the Trap card, he wins! C’mon, Dobbson! Don’t be an idiot!”

“And now… I remove both of my monsters in order to special summon Bass Singer, huh.” Deep-Voice Dobbson announced.

 

WHAT AN IDIOT, every last person in the immediate area, even the U.S. Navy leaving Japan’s waters thought ALL AT THE SAME TIME.

 

The two monsters exploded and were replaced by a short, fat man in a nice suit. “LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!” he sang, in the lowest tone humanly possible… or even alienly. (Bass Singer: 3000 Attack Points)

“That idiot!” Syrus exclaimed!

“Ugh, he’s so stupid,” Alexis exclaimed!

“To the max, yo!”Jaden exclaimed!

“My Bass Singer’s special ability, huh, removes one of your monsters from play every turn, so say good bye to Sparkman!” Deep-Voice Dobbson exclaimed!

“Whoops!” Sparkman exclaimed, as he imploded upon himself.

“How does THAT make any sense?” Jaden asked.

“I don’t care, huh! Attack, huh, and win, since that Trap card will most definitely NOT make me lose!”

“No way, since it’s A Hero Emerges!” Jaden’s Trap card, featuring a cool zombie super hero doing an awesome slicing move flipped up!

“WHAT AN IDIOT!!” Crowler gasped!

“WHY MUST I BE WRONG, HUH?!”

“Now you have to choose a card in my hand randomly when you attack! If it’s a monster, then it emerges onto the field! Get it? Emerges?”

“BOO!” somebody yelled.

“Take your pick, Dobbson!”

“Huh, the one on the far right!”

“Sweet, Elemental Hero Dom--Burstinatrix!” Jaden leaped for joy!

“Huh, a monster, but my Bass Singer can change the position of a monster he attacks! Now, Concerto, huh!” Deep-Voice Dobbson declared!

“LAAAAAAAAAAA!!” The opera singer’s voice was so low that it made Burstinatrix blow up!

“Hoo-yah!!” she screamed, for some, odd reason. (Jaden: 1000 Life Points)

“Jaden!!” Syrus cried!

“Hahahaha!!” Crowler laughed evilly! “Now you’ll get an F and there’s NOTHING you can do about it!!”

“Crowler, shut up and sit down, sir,” Chancellor Sheppard asked.

“Don’t call me sir! I’m a woman!!” Crowler objected!

“… That explains so many questions but yet asks too many new ones.”

 

“So, huh, Jaden, huh,” Deep-Voice Dobbson said with extra emphasis on the last ‘huh’, “What’cha gonna do now?”

“Oh, I’ve got a whole army of vicious monsters in my deck, Deep-Voice Dobbson,” Jaden furiously warned, “And I’m just WAITING to sic ‘em all on you! This isn’t over, yo, it’s just BARELY started!” Jaden drew his card which happened to be, apparently, some weird little girl being taken hostage by an evil, giant, floating, woman head just as the girl sprouted her first pair of wings.

 

”Now, don’t tell anybody about this,” Ms. Dorothy said, several minutes earlier, “But I managed to hide away some extra booster packs just in case if any POLITE kids need them, unlike the others with their rap music, and their Japanese comic books, and their pogo sticks… sorry, here you go!” Ms. Dorothy handed Jaden the WORST CARD EVER… inside of the worst BOOSTER PACK eve

[☨βlack☨]

It isn't readable...

[RyanAtlus]

It isn't readable...

 

Neither is my post in which I quoted it.

[Weather Report - Stand]

DAMNIT!! My chapters are too long!!

[spoiler=Episode 4: Making the Grade]

[spoiler=Part One]http://www.veoh.com/browse/videos/category/anime/watch/v1070119szKE5pkR#watch%3Dv11525948ReQwSxPN

 

Yu-Gi-Oh! GX!

Episode 4: Making the Grade

Part One

 

The guitar was on vacation today, and replaced by THE NEW YORK SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA!! The music was loud and exciting, and the ocean was all abuzz with ADVENTURE!! “Attention, everyone,” some guy said over an intercom to dozens of helicopters, huge ships , submarines and two giant movie monsters, “It’s been a long journey and we’ve lost hundreds of great soldiers to make it this far, but it’s all paid off since we’re almost there.” Some sailors and their captain were standing and pushing buttons and twisting knobs inside the main ship.

“Look like the goods are all safe,” the captain said, weeping with joy. “We made it.” He had a briefcase labeled ‘DA’ in fancy print.

“But sir,” one sailor asked, “Was it really necessary to send out the ENTIRE U.S. Navy for this job—“ The captain shot him in the head.

“Do YOU have anything to say?” he asked the other sailor.

“Uh…” He was shot as well.

“NOBODY MESSES WITH TRADING CARD GAMES ON MY SHIP.” He pushed the cadavers out of the way and stated manning the ship. He pulled out some sort of intercom device and announced, “Everyone, full steam ahead! This is the moment we’ve been working for! Waiting for! The moment where Duel Academy Japan gets their new trading card booster packs!”

 

The entire Navy joined together in joy and jubilation! They cheered so hard that their hearts were united under the summer sun! Even the giant monsters blasted gamma rays into the sky with glee, furthering global warming at an alarming rate!

 

NOBODY plays around with TRADING CARDS.

 

Meanwhile, at the Slifer Toolshed, Jaden was sleeping well past 12:00 PM. “Snore, snore, snore, snore, snore…” he chanted, still asleep. Syrus was sleepily worshipping a poster of a deer by the desk in their room.

“Please, spirit of the deer head in the Duel Dome, help me pass my exams!” he begged. “I deserve this, especially since Jaden’s too loud to sleep around! I feel like I’m going to die of exhaustion or annoyance! PLEASE help me get promoted AWAY from Jaden and his stupid, literal snoring!” Suddenly, a bomb went off! “DAAAAAAH, I’M DYING NOW!! Wait…” He walked over to Jaden, still annoying, and noticed his bomb-shaped alarm clock. It kept repeatedly making realistic explosion sounds, rocking the entire toolshed. “Oh, just that retarded clock…” Syrus started pushing Jaden. “Jaden, wake up and turn off that stupid clock already! My ears are bleeding!!”

 

“ROOOOOOOAR!!” Jaden burst out of bed, smashing Syrus into the wall and obliterating the alarm clock like Exodia obliterates Life Points. “I TRIGGER MY TRAP CARD!!”

“Why can’t he just dream in Defense Mode?” Syrus asked himself.

“BOO!” somebody said.

“No, Syrus,” Koala Ko Ala butted in, “You gotta let’m sleep! See, after our Normal Trap cards test, we have our Six Samurais test, and after that, the Metal Raiders exam! Wouldn’t it be TOTALLY LICIOUS if Jaden slept through it?”

“That’s a stupid idea that makes no sense.”

“Failures make me smile,” Koala Ko Ala explained. “Plus, after THAT, we have the Duel Exams, where we have to duel some OTHER guy who sucks… or JADEN. That way, we’re eliminating the competition!”

“Koala, that idea’s stupid, but it just might not work! We’d probably not duel him anyways in the first place!” Syrus protested! “AND, on top of that, we might have to duel Someone Jones and his Gasper Ghosts deck, or maybe even Mohawk Jill, the toughest Red in school, mistress of the Punk Rockers archetype!”

“Hm, you MAY have a point… wake him up and get’m to fight Mohawk Jill, hurry!” Koala cried!

“Jaden, wake up and duel the strongest student in school for us so that we don’t have to face soul-crushing public humiliatiooooooooon!! Oh, I don’t have time for this!” Syrus bolted out of the room.

“You know, I don’t even GO to the school here,” Koala Ko Ala remembered, “I just stay since I have no home.”

 

Syrus dashed down the stairs of the Slifer Toolshed as the seven other rooms filled with every other Red broke, releasing HUNDREDS of students sprawling near the cliff. “Damn, they really hate us Reds,” Syrus muttered. “Putting all of those other students into the other seven rooms in the shack… wait! I could’ve been in there, and thoroughly CRUSHED by FAT people! Aw, man, now I feel bad for them so they can take advantage of me—“ He fell onto the concrete walkway leading to the school, breaking his nose. “WAAAAAAH, MY NOOOOOSE!! I’M BLEEDING TO DEATH!!”

 

Twenty seconds later, Jaden leaped off of the balcony, finishing up a continental breakfast created by Koala Ko Ala, and leaping off of the struggling kid’s heads as they stood up. “Ow, my broken neck,” one guy said.

“Boy, that “Chumley” SURE can make breakfast!” Jaden smiled. “I need to ask why Syrus’s worshipping a deer, though.” Jaden threw his dirty plate and utensils behind his back as he left the crowd.

“My neck’s still broken… ow! A plate!”

“THE FORK! IT’S IN MY EYE!!”

 

Jaden soon came across a fat lady pushing a car uphill. “Watch out! I’m running far faster than possible,” Jaden warned! He passed by, leaving a huge dust cloud in his wake! “Wait, ‘dat lady there was in a jam, yo! I’ve gotta help her!” He re-appeared behind the lady somehow and helped push. “Don’t worry, I’m here to help!”

“Oh, thank you, young man!” she thanked. “Not many kids today would help old ladies pushing cars anymore, with their electric scooters, and their potato chips, and their walkmans and their game boys.”

“Actually, ma’am, it MAY help if you DRIVE the car up the hill,” Jaden suggested.

“Oh my gosh, I forgot you could do that with cars AND trucks!”

 

MEANWHILE, IN PROF. BANNER’S CLASS…

Rows and rows of students were taking their easy Normal Trap card test. “Remember students, you have 45 minutes left to take the test,” he said in his overly soft voice.

“Teacher, everybody’s FINISHED,” a guy with shades explained, “Everybody except for Barry the Beginner.”

“It’s not my fault that I don’t know what a Trap card is!” some kid yelled. He had hair that slightly resemble Yugi’s, but it was black with a little red at the edges. “Just for that remark, I’m stealing Yugi Mutou’s deck! You’ll see! YOU’LL ALL SEE!!”

“Simmer down, idiot students,” Banner ordered. “I bet that you missed a TON of questions with those shades on. Take them off and check your answers.”

“Why would I have…” The boy removed his glasses and glanced at his paper. “Holy crap! There was a question SIX?! I TOTALLY missed that!”

 

Syrus was holding his head face-down on the desk, whispering to himself. “Okay, so note to self, Barry the Beginner will steal Yugi’s deck in about 14 more adventures, give-or-take.”

“I didn’t know that this was an ORAL exam, Sy!” Jaden was on da loose! He sat down next to Syrus.

“Jay! See, how do you like YOUR nickname, Jay?”

“SHUT UP, WE’RE CHECKING OUR ANSWERS!!”

“I really don’t like it.”

“Well, don’t call me Sy!”

“You never told me it annoyed you.”

“See, it all started when I was alone in my room when I was six—”

“SHUT UP!!” Chazz exploded from a few rows away. “YOUR VOICES INFURIATE ME!! JUST LET US TAKE THE FRAGGING TEST!!”

“Thanks a lot, Pointy-Head! Now I can’t concentrate!” Beehive Larry exclaimed.

Jaden turned around and gave Chazz a piece of his mind. “Yo, stop trippin’! You got NO RIGHT to tell me ‘ta stop talking! It’s not like this is an IMPORTANT TEST or anything!”

“What kind of idiot ARE you?”

“Actually,” Banner said, startling Jaden, “The test will only amount to 2% of your quarterly grade, so it actually DOESN’T matter in the SLIGHTEST. But still Jaden, shut the hell up and get your exam.”

“Ha, I was right!” Jaden awkwardly grinned. “I’m a-comin’!”

 

I wish that everybody would just shut up and finish already, Alexis thought, I have better things to do than explain what’s in the picture of Magic Cylinder.

Hmm, Bastion wondered, studying his test, What’s this ‘Trap Hole’ card the test talks about?

Stupid Bastion, Alexis mocked.

WHO SAID THAT?! Bastion panicked.

 

Two minutes later, Jaden finished his impossibly easy test and used Syrus as a pillow. “I feel uncomfortable,” Syrus bellyached.

“Shut up and act comfortable, please!”

But at that moment, near a door, somebody screamed “OH BLOODY HELL!! AAAAARGGH!!” But nobody paid any attention, because this happened often. Ms. Crowler was forcing its face through the door.

“Oh, that Jaden can rest easy now,” it plotted, “But soon enough, he’ll be taking a NIGHTMARE of a duel exam! Ha ha ha!”

“WE CAN ALL HEAR YOU,” the entire room sighed.

“Me too, teach!” Jaden chimed in.

 

An advertisement appeared to break up the nonstop action. The Yu-Gi-Oh! GX icon appeared in a reddish backdrop as an announcer said, “Yu-Gi-Oh! GX is sponsored by… Yu-Gi-Oh! GX, since nobody else cares! Oh and 4Kids.”

“C’MON AND GET YOUR GAME OOOOOON!!”

 

Suddenly, for no reason, it immediately happened AGAIN right after that.

“C’MON AND GET YOUR GAME OOOOOON!!”

 

It turns out that it was actually the U.S. NAVY THEME SONG COMMERCIAL!! The captain of the ship from earlier held up a walkie-talkie and spoke into it, “Okay boys, twice is enough! Stop! Dang, it’s so annoying! Just send in the choppers.” He put away the walkie-talkie and several helicopters flew past. “…Man, that’s so inspirational to me,” he said, wiping away tears with his booster pack briefcase.

 

“Alright class,” Banner calmly explained, “the Metal Raiders set exam is now complete, and we’re now under attack by U.S. Navy helicopters, signifying that our new booster packs are here. Get in line.”

“Wait, you mean that the NAVY sent us CARDS?! Don’t they only do that for poor countries in times of war?”

“Who cares?”

“Wait,” one stupid kid thought aloud, “Our country’s at WAR with EUROPE and we need these cards to DEFEND OURSELVES?!”

“No, that’s not it at all—“

The entire class exploded through the doors, pushing and shoving the competition. “I’m gonna get those cards if it’s the last thing I do!”

“No, I’LL defeat those darn French ONCE AND FOR ALL!!”

“Ow, I’m being trampled.”

“WHO FREAKIN’ CARES?!”

 

Chazz was staring at some papers in the room, not budging. “Chazz, Chazz, I reckon!” Billy Hills urgently pressured.

“Chazz, the new cards are here, huh?” Deep-Voice Dobbson asked, I guess.

“Why should I care?”

“You can sell’m on E-Bay, I reckon!”

Chazz threw his papers on the ground. “Go get me some crappy cards and we’ll sell them for 500% profit.”

 

“Snore, snore, snore, snore…”

“Wake up,” Bastion ordered Syrus and Jaden. “Wake up or else my British voice will enter your dreams and give you a nightmare about having a British voice!”

“WHAAAAAT?!?!” Syrus screamed, waking up. “I saw on a show once that if your accent changes so suddenly, then you have an un-operable brain worm eating your language centers in your head!! Wait, the patron spirit of Slifer isn’t a deer head, is it?”

“Why are you asking me?”

“It’s called SLIFER Red, Sy.” Jaden woke up explaining.

“I’ll ignore that. Where’d everybody go?” Syrus asked, realizing how empty the room was.

“Oh, Europe declared war on Japan, so everybody’s going to pick up the cards the U.S. Navy dropped off for us to defend themselves,” Bastion sighed. “Looks like every time I move someplace, Europe just HAPPENS to declare war on it…”

“EUROPE HASN’T DONE SUCH A THING IN YEARS!! But boy, I sure believe you! Let’s go get some supplies!”

“Now hold on Syrus,” Bastion held off in a creepy pose.

“Ugh, that pose is creepy.”

“Shouldn’t we wait for the crowds to disperse first so that we don’t get trampled?”

“But everybody left a while ago,” Syrus reminded.

“Oh, yeah.”

“Come on, Jaden, let’s ditch him and save ourselves!” Syrus suggested!

“What took you so long to come up with that? Let’s go!” beckoned Jaden, with a hyper-active smile on his face!

As the duo ran off, Bastion outstretched his arm! “Wait, I can be an emergency food supply!! Don’t leave me alone!”

 

Several idiot students ran up to the card shop, sealed off by a large, metal gate. Some people whacked at it with their fists, others slapped the dead bodies of recently-trampled students against it, making large dents. “LET US IN!!”

“I WANT TO LIVE!!”

“STOP SMASHING ME INTO THE DOOR! I’M NOT DEAD YET!!”

Several army hummers drove in front of the school and released dozens of black-garbed identical soldiers into the building! “HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT!” they chanted while running.

“Holy crap, the Europeans have come to steal our Duel Monsters technology!” somebody cried at the sight of them, before slipping on blood. They were totally surrounded. Then, they all spread up against the walls, allowing a single CAPTAIN to come through.

 

“Oh children,” he laughed, “Lookin’ fer THESE?” The idiot captain held up his briefcase into the air!

“NOO!! THE EUROPEANS HAVE SENT OUT A TEXAN WHO LIVES IN SPAIN TO CAPTURE OUR CARDS AND SHOVE THEM IN OUR FACES!” somebody cried.

“Rescue Cat help us all!!”

“Naw, kids!” the captain protested. “Gosh darnit, every time I come ‘n deliver the next set, y’all turn it into a gosh-darn bloodbath!” He kicked a disembodied head out of the way.

“That was my brother.”

“Who cares? I’m delivering the new set of cards to the survivors!!” he cheered! “Oh, and Europe just surrendered when they found out that a new set was just released in Japan.”

“WOO-HOO!!” The legion of teens who had just survived the Half-Hour War were clapping as hard as they could, screaming and crying and hugging one another!

“Will you marry me?” one guy with a moustache asked a girl!

“Yes, yes I will!!” Nancy Wut replied! They both leaped into a limo labeled ‘Just Married’ and drove down the hallway, somehow making that hard right turn. And everybody was laughing and cheering for the man who’d just saved the world from a Worldwide Duel Holocaust, the young couple that had just left, and the brave souls who’d been forced to give up their lives to save the others.

 

This happens EVERY THREE MONTHS.

 

The captain opened up the steel gate, prompting one guy to say “So THAT’S how we open it!”, and turned to the students, saying “Come’n get it!” Every last living student crammed themselves into the little shop and opened up the briefcase, revealing… a heavily censored group of documents.

“AAAARGH!!” Everybody was blasted away by the sheer wall-banger that had just occurred.

“Whoopsie, wrong briefcase.” The captain took the briefcase, ran out of the school, pulled out the keys to the ship, ran in, drove it back to America, swapped the cases at the U.S. Marine Base, drove back, ran back in and slammed in on the table. It held a piece of paper.

“What’s up? What happened to the cards?” a random guy asked.

“You know ‘da ruwels,” the young lady who worked at the shop who’d also never been mentioned before reminded in a heavy New Yorker accent, “Foist come, foist soived.”

“WHAT?!”

“And I was first, so I bought every one,” someCROWLERkid in a black cape and hat smirked.

“WHAT?!”

“My sons died for THIS?!”

“REMEMBER THE FALLEN, CROWLER, REMEMBER THE SACRIFICES!!”

 

“C’mon Sy, let’s make tracks!” Jaden commanded, skidding into the hallway on a pool of blood.

“I told you that I hated that name! Woah!” Syrus almost fell over by slipping on a disemboweled stomach. They entered the shop, which was SO empty that a thin mist covered the area. “Where IS everyone? We have to protect ourselves from the Spanish! I heard they have a new archetype that negates Spell cards!”

“Wait, don’t tell me they’ve… RUN OUT OF CARDS!!” The two scrambled over to the desk, which was run by that lady from earlier with the accent. Her nametag read ‘Countergirl Williams’. “’Scuse me, Countergirl, but please tell me that you still have some cards left!”

“Of COU’SE we still have ‘sum ca’ds, but jus’ regulah ones,” she explained, loudly chewing some gum. “He’a ya go.” She handed them a green ‘Duel Academy’ booster pack with a Gagagigo action pose.

“Aw, but that ‘Gagagigo Redemption’ pack is based around that dumb ol’ Gagagigo card nobody likes! It’s all about the ALIEN cards now!”

“Great, I’m gonna lose the exam,” Syrus whined, “because I have to replace my cards with stuff like Gagagigo and Gogiga Gagagigo since I didn’t get anything better, and then I’m going to flunk out of school, and then—”

“Stop monologue-ing! I’m trying to think of something!” Jaden ordered.

“But you KNOW that’s my thing!”

“Just take the pack already before I throw up on you.”

“Yipes! Why don’t you just take it so that I don’t have to feel the crushing blow that is getting Gigobyte?” Syrus wondered aloud.

“Because YOU deserve it more than me,” Jaden explained.

“That was mean.”

“I didn’t mean it like THAT…”

 

“Yoo-hoo!” a familiar voice called, “Driving boy!”

“Oh, it’s you!” The fat lady from before entered the scene! ZAM! “You work here?” Jaden asked.

“Oh no, I own the shop! The ‘bee’s knees’, huh?” the fat lady asked.

“Sorry, yo, but nobody says that anymore.”

“How do you know her, Jaden?” Syrus inquired. “Don’t tell me that… you sold your body to her?”

“You’re disgusting! I just helped her out with a broken-down truck that actually wasn’t broken down, they just hadn’t driven it before for some reason…. Well, it was complicated.”

“Oh, before I forget, I have something for you!” the lady said. On closer inspection, her nametag read ‘Ms. Dorothy’. “Just call it a ‘thank you’ for earlier.” And she presented Jaden with the WORST CARD EVER…

 

But enough about that, because now we’re inside the 2nd floor corridors, where Chazz and his posse were walking on a dangerous hallway suspended FORTY FEET IN THE AIR!! “And then, some guy said he’d bought up all the cards already, I reckon!” Billy Hills explained.

“Yeah, we couldn’t get you any, Chazz, huh, sorry.”

“Damnit, you buffoons, what do you think I pay you for?” Chazz ordered.

“We don’t get paid, huh, Chazz.”

“So what? I grace you with my presence! Anyways, at least I know that nobody could get any of those presumably awesome cards and beat me, so my victory today is assured. ”

“Unless that student happens to be Jaden Yucky,” something cackled.

“Who—mummy?!” Chazz whirled around and saw some guyCROWLERin a black cape and hat.

“Hey, it’s that Crowler lady, I reckon!” Billy Hills gasped! “They took all the cards earlier!”

“What cards, you mean THESE cards?” Like a flasher, Crowler opened up its cape and revealed that several cards were attached to the fabric! Never-before-seen cards (in this dimension), such as OJAMA KING, and HAMMER SHOT!! Even if I did mention Hammer Shot in the first episode, but nothing’s cannon here.

“Woah, now I sense foreshadowing in that Ojama King card, huh, Chazz, huh?”

“I’ve never reckoned so much in my life!”

“So, my boy, would you like to accept these cards from… your mother?” Crowler whipped its cape away, revealing its true face and sending many cards into the air, fluttering down onto the first floor! “Wait—oh, crap!”

“Cool, Duel Monsters cards!” some nasally-voiced kid screamed, picking up the cards!

“Wait, unhand those cards!” Crowler ordered! “Darn, looks like the Ojama King deck’s a bust.”

“Mum,” Chazz asked, “Why’d you get all of those cards? Was it… love for your son?”

“No, an EVIL PLAN to make JADEN YUCKY get an F!” Crowler cackled!

“What an ingenious plan, I reckon!” Billy Hills cheered!

“And,” Crowler continued, “I want YOU to be the one to use this new deck to beat him!” He pointed to Chazz!

“But we’re not in the same dorm! They won’t let me be his test opponent,” Chazz inferred.

“Oh, I’m not talking about YOU,” Crowler corrected, “I’m pointing to DEEP-VOICE DOBBSON!!”

“GASP!!” the trio gasped!

“HUH, CHAZZ, HUUUUUH?!?!”

 

 

TO BE CONTINUED...

 

 

 

[spoiler=Part Two]

Yu-Gi-Oh! GX!

Episode 4: Making the Grade

Part Two

 

“YOU MEAN I’M GOING TO DUEL JADEN, HUH?!” Deep-Voice Dobbson gasped!

“Yes, and all you have to do is show up and put Jaden Yucky in his place in front of the entire academy! Wahahaha! Pulling strings is fun.”

“Wait, why not me, your own “flesh” and “blood”, even though we all know that you never birthed me! What’s HE got that I DON’T?” Chazz whined.

“Well, the Ojama deck was made just for you, but since I dropped it, now I have to give the back-up deck to the kid with the deep voice,” Crowler explained.

“GRRR!!” Chazz stormed off suddenly. “I WON’T FORGET THIIIIIIS!!”

 

Suddenly, Jaden screamed somewhere! “AAAAAAUGH!! I’m dueling an OBELISK!! And it’s DEEP-VOICE DOBBSON?!?! What grudge does HE have against ME?!”

“Oh,” Crowler sighed, walking onto the field as the duelists got ready for their exams, “Yes, well you always TALK such a big game, so I pulled some strings to help you SHOW how good you really are. Pulling strings is fun. So buck up, soldier, you get to face one of the strongest players at the school today and prove to us all how spectacular you really are!”

Many, many, many students who’d get to duel in just a half-hour looked on at this great injustice. I’ve got a BAAD feeling about this, Syrus told himself, And when I get a bad feeling, I get indigestion. Uh-oh…

I sure wish that I had that last Gagagigo card for my deck today, Bastion told himself, Then I’d get to show it off to the school, complete with my three Ring of Destruction cards.

Oh, I got one of those cards today, Syrus thought. Wanna trade?

Sure, I’ll give you an UFOroid for it.

 

“Alright, Dobbson, get your game on!” Jaden cheered.

“BOO!” somebody yelled.

“Let’s finish what we started… oh, wait, I never dueled you before.”

“Indeed,” Crowler said, “You can try to prove yourself against Deep-Voice’s perfect deck in front of the whole school.”

“Uh, um… yeah, huh!” Deep-Voice Dobbson sheepishly agreed. He was shy, being in front of all those spectators.

“You didn’t say Chazz at the end!” Jaden realized!

“Well, I, huh, only say that when I’m around Chazz…”

“Okay.”

 

Both players placed their decks into their duel disks and Crowler ran off.

“DUEL!!”

“I’m not lettin’ up on some sorta deep-voiced guy!” Jaden growled. (Jaden: 4000 Life Points)

“Bring it, huh!” (Deep-Voice Dobbson: 4000 Life Points)

“Look at’m go, Chazz, I reckon!” Billy Hills cheered from the sidelines with Chazz. “He’s gonna whup this Slifer slacker’s butt, I reckon!”

“Shut up, ingrate,” Chazz demanded. “It should be ME up there. I was the one who almost beat him before, why’d he choose Deep-Voice Dobbson?”

“I reckon ‘yer just jealous.”

 

“I’m kickin’ this game off!” Jaden drew his card with INTENSE GRAPHICS behind him!

“OOH,” the card said. It was Winged Kuriboh.

“Looks like this time you’re gonna be slightly more useful, but only if that guy’s stupid enough to fall for it!” Jaden scanned his cards and summoned Elemental Hero Clayman! “Hey Deep-Voice? You remember him from the last duel?” (Clayman: 2000 Defense Points)

HE SUMMONED A MONSTER! Syrus exclaimed.

HE SUMMONED A MONSTER! Bastion exclaimed.

HE SUMMONED A MONSTER! Alexis exclaimed.

HE SUMMONED A MONSTER! Crowler exclaimed.

“YOU JUST-JUST-JUST SUMMONED A MONSTERRRR, HUH!!” Deep-Voice Dobbson exclaimed.

 

He quickly regained his composure. “Well, huh, that guy’s not gonna stand up for long against ME!” Deep-Voice growled. “Draw!” Deep-Voice drew his new card. Thanks for the new card, Chazz’s creepy mom! “I summon the mighty Bass Beast!” A large lion with a deep singing voice stood on two feet and growled at Jaden.

“Grrrrrr!” it sang in its deep voice!

“Holy moley!” Jaden gasped! “It has such a deep voice!”

“No wonder mum said I’d never be able to use such a deck…” Chazz muttered in awe.

“And that’s not all!” Deep-Voice Dobbson continued! “Check out the magic of Opera Hall!” A spell card appeared, showcasing a fat opera singer performing with an opera robot. “Once per turn, I can special summon one ‘Bass’ monster from my hand! And I’ve got the best one: Bass Caterpillar!” A huge green cartoony caterpillar appeared with a microphone!

“LAAAAAAA…” he sang in his equally deep voice.

“Now, let your singing powers combine, huh! I remove both of them to Special Summon Bass Aircraft, huh!” Deep-Voice Dobbson removed both creatures with wonderful voices from the field. However, the hologram of the caterpillar started to fire out flames, launching it into the air! It swirled and Bass Beast leaped into him! They combined into a ball of light, which exploded into an army airplane!

“LAAAA~” it sang.

“Its voice is so awesome!!” Jaden gasped! (Bass Aircraft: 2000 Attack Points)

 

“I’m not done yet, huh, Jaden, huh, since I can now use my awesome plane’s singing ability!”

“That’s no good!” Jaden said just like Sonic the Hedgehog even adding the arm movements.

Just tell me if the link dies.

“That was a stupid joke!” Syrus complained.

“By sending one of my cards to the Graveyard, huh,” Deep-Voice Dobbson explained, “My Bass Aircraft turns one of your monsters into Attck Mode!”

“Laaaaaaa, lalalalalalalalaaaaaaa~” the plane sang, with the voice of a deep-voiced male angel. Clayman stood up and placed his hand to his ear to hear.

“No, Clayman! Don’t listen, opera music’s boring!” Jaden urged!

“Now, huh, Bass Aircraft, huh, use your Deep-Seeking Missile attack!” The airplane shot out several missiles at Clayman, blowing him up.

“Nose!” Jaden gasped, blocking his face from the smoke. (Jaden: 2800 Life Points)

“AAAAAAAAWW!!” the crowd collectively gasped!

“Well,” Crowler said from within an office overlooking the duel with Chancellor Shephard, “Looks like Jaden can’t play with the big boys AFTER all, right?”

“I dunno,” Chancellor Shephard answered.

 

“And now, I’ll end my turn, huh!” Deep-Voice Dobbson yelled.

“Alright, I’m just gettin’ warmed up! Speaking of ‘warm’, here’s a guy who can really bring on ‘da heat, yo! Elemental Hero Sparkman!!” Jaden summoned the Sparkman we all know and love. “In Defense Mode,” he added. Spark Man appeared with a huge spark!

“Bleh!” he growled after posing about a bajillion times. (Sparkman: 1400 Defense Points)

“W-wait, huh! That doesn’t make sense, huh: an electrical guy does NOT use fire, so he has nothing to do with heat!!”

“… Yeah, just keep tellin’ yourself that.”

HE IGNORED IT, HUH!!

“Woah, he summoned another monster!!” the entire school gaped. Not gasped, just gaped.

“I’ll also set a card face-down.”

 

“I’m so amazed that he was able to summon another monster,” Bastion noted.

“I know, I’m mesmerized!” Syrus agreed.

This is so stupid, Alexis thought. If we all know that he’s going to win after a big struggle, why is it such an amazing thing if he summons another monster? They’re all idiots, IDIOTS!!

“Ready for more, huh, Jaden, huh?” Deep-Voice asked. “I summon Bass Mouth in attack mode, huh!” A giant pair of singing lips appeared. “Then, due to my Opera Hall card I can Special Summon the Bass Robot, huh!” The robot from the card image appeared as well!

“La-la-la-laaaaaa!” the two monsters sang in their respective deep voices.

“No way! Their singing voices have melted my heart!” Syrus screamed!

“There’s even a mouth? That’s funny!” Jaden realized, sweating.

“Now I play my face-down card, Call of the Haunted, huh!” Deep-Voice Dobbson yelled, triggering his Trap! A spooky graveyard scene appeared on the card! “I can summon the Bass Potato I discarded before for Bass Aircraft’s ability to the field, huh!” A large potato with human lips appeared!

“LAAAAAA.”

“Holy crap!” Syrus gasped!

“IT CAN’T BE!! A POTATO?!” Bastion roared in surprise!

“I can’t believe it!” Chazz said. “He actually summoned a potato to the field! With human lips, no less!!”

“It’s amazin’, huh, I reckon!” Billy Hills cheered!

 

“Now, I’ll fuse my three monsters, huh! I remove them all from the field, huh!” His robot picked up the potato and put it into the mouth. The Bass Mouth released a massive electrical charge, lighting up the entire Duel Dome! Then the Bass Robot threw it into the air and it blasted a massive energy burst at it! They combined in the huge energy storm to become a bust of an opera singer!

“LALALA LAAAAAA!!” it sang in the most perfect opera voice you’ve ever heard!

“It’s Bass Statue, huh!!” (Bass Statue: 2800 Attack Points)

“No freakin’ way, man, no freakin’ way!!” Syrus screeched! “Jaden only has 2800 Life Points left!! If Dobbson doesn’t do something stupid right now, he’s won already!! Game over, man, game over!”

“WILL YOU GET AHOLD OF YOURSELF?!” Bastion ordered, smacking Syrus upside the head!

“Ow.”

“I’m over here!” Nancy Wut said, since if you paid attention to the scene in the show, you could see her standing next to Bastion.

 

“Chazz, I reckon that I got a look at Deep-Voice Dobbson’s voice earlier!” Billy Hills explained. “I saw that by discardin’ a card, Bass Bust could destroy a card, so I reckon that if he doesn’t do anything stupid, he already wins!”

“You’re right!” Chazz yelled! “If he destroys the Trap card, he wins! C’mon, Dobbson! Don’t be an idiot!”

“And now… I remove both of my monsters in order to special summon Bass Singer, huh.” Deep-Voice Dobbson announced.

 

WHAT AN IDIOT, every last person in the immediate area, even the U.S. Navy leaving Japan’s waters thought ALL AT THE SAME TIME.

 

The two monsters exploded and were replaced by a short, fat man in a nice suit. “LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!” he sang, in the lowest tone humanly possible… or even alienly. (Bass Singer: 3000 Attack Points)

“That idiot!” Syrus exclaimed!

“Ugh, he’s so stupid,” Alexis exclaimed!

“To ‘da max, yo!”Jaden exclaimed!

“My Bass Singer’s special ability, huh, removes one of your monsters from play every turn, so say good-bye to Sparkman!” Deep-Voice Dobbson exclaimed!

“Whoops!” Sparkman exclaimed, as he imploded upon himself.

“How does THAT make any sense?” Jaden asked.

“I don’t care, huh! Attack, huh, and win, since that Trap card will most definitely NOT make me lose!”

“No way, since it’s A Hero Emerges!” Jaden’s Trap card, featuring a cool zombie super hero performing an awesome slicing move flipped up!

“WHAT AN IDIOT!!” Crowler gasped!

“WHY MUST I BE WRONG, HUH?!”

“Now you have to choose a card in my hand randomly when you attack! If it’s a monster, then it emerges onto the field! Get it? Emerges?”

“BOO,” somebody said.

“Take your pick, Dobbson!”

“Huh, the one on the far right!”

“Sweet, Elemental Hero Dom--Burstinatrix!” Jaden leaped for joy!

“Huh, a monster, but my Bass Singer can change the position of a monster he attacks! Now, Concerto, huh!” Deep-Voice Dobbson declared!

“LAAAAAAAAAAA!!” The opera singer’s voice was so low that it made Burstinatrix blow up!

“Hoo-yah!!” she screamed, for some, odd reason. (Jaden: 1000 Life Points)

“Jaden!!” Syrus cried!

“Hahahaha!!” Crowler laughed evilly! “Now you’ll get an F and there’s NOTHING you can do about it!!”

“Crowler, shut up and sit down, sir,” Chancellor Sheppard asked.

“Don’t call me sir! I’m a woman!!” Crowler objected!

“… That explains so many questions but yet asks too many new ones.”

 

“So, huh, Jaden, huh,” Deep-Voice Dobbson said with extra emphasis on the last ‘huh’, “What’cha gonna do now?”

“Oh, I’ve got a whole army of vicious monsters in my deck, Deep-Voice Dobbson,” Jaden furiously warned, “And I’m just WAITING to sic ‘em all on you! This isn’t over, yo, it’s just BARELY started!” Jaden drew his card which happened to be, apparently, some weird little girl being taken hostage by an evil, giant, floating, woman head just as the girl sprouted her first pair of wings.

 

"Now, don’t tell anybody about this,” Ms. Dorothy said, several minutes earlier, “But I managed to hide away some extra booster packs just in case if any POLITE kids need them, unlike the others with their rap music, and their Japanese comic books, and their pogo sticks… sorry, here you go!” Ms. Dorothy handed Jaden the WORST CARD EVER… inside of the worst BOOSTER PACK ever, aptly titled “Kuriboh’s Opera and Ojama Friends”. It had a collage of Bass Singer, Ojama King, and Winged Kuriboh. Jaden’s mouth fell open in surprise.

“THEY ACTUALLY MADE A PACK BASED AFTER THAT STUPID THING AND HIS FRIENDS?!”

 

“Alright, time to sacrifice some Winged Kuriboh!” Jaden yelled!

“OOH,” Winged Kuriboh cooed.

“SHUT UP!! I SUMMON WINGED KURIBOH IN DEFENSE MODE!!” Jaden’s signature failure of destiny appeared.

“OOH,” it said confidently, somehow.

“AAAAAAAWW,” the ENTIRE FEMALE PORTION OF THE AUDIENCE SIGHED.

“Wait,” somebody yelled from across the dome, “I got a Shiba Warrior Taro!” They summoned an awesome puppy with a knife and a bandana!

“IT’S SOOOOOO CUUUUUUUUTE!!” The entire female audience exploded because they were too stereotypical.

“Now, I’ll throw down a face-down and call it a turn,” Jaden said, throwing down a face-down as the pink girl-smoke cleared away.

“BOO,” somebody said.

“That’s it?” Syrus whined, “That sucks! Now he’s just going to win somehow!”

WHY DIDN’T I EXPLODE TOO? Alexis asked herself, afraid of the answer.

 

“Okay, huh, Slifer, huh, I’m going to attack your Kuriboh!” Deep-Voice Dobbson roared!

“NO, YOU NINCOMPOOP!!” Chazz screamed! “DESTROY IT WITH YOUR FREAKIN’ SPECIAL ABILITY!!”

“You said ‘poop’, I reckon!” Billy Hills giggled. “Also, he’s an idjit, I reckon.”

“LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!” the singer sang.

“Thanks a lot,” Jaden thanked as the awesome shockwaves assaulted his fuzz ball. “Now I discard two cards from my hand to activate ‘Some Lady Abducts an Angel Kid’!!” His Quick-Play Spell card flipped up!

“WHERE’D HE GET THAT STUPIDLY MIS-NAMED CARD FROM?!” Crowler screamed, aghast!

“Please, sit down, Crowler!” Shephard ordered sternly. “I’m trying to watch the duel with the dog card!”

 

Winged Kuriboh suddenly grew wings (BIGGER wings) and a weird dragon tried to gobble him up. “GOBGOBGOB,” it gobbled, but alas, Kuriboh turned reddish and just got stuck in its mouth! “GOBBIE?!”

“OOH,” Winged Kuriboh ‘ooh’-ed.

 

“Huh? OH NOOOOOOOO!!” Deep-Voice Dobbson cried out! The Singer’s song simply bounced off of Winged Kuriboh and was then absorbed!

“Oh yeah,” Jaden corrected, “My Kuriboh just evolved into level TEN!!”

“LEVEL TEN?!?!” the audience gasped!!

“HUH, THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE!! THERE’S NO WAY THAT A CARD COULD MAKE WINGED KURIBOH MORE POWERFUL, HUH, JADEN, HUH?!?!”

“It’s JUST a card game,” Jaden corrected. “No, wait, there’s no such thing as JUST a card game! Anyways, when attacked, he tributes himself and blows up the whole field. Then you lose LP equal to the attack of your monsters!”

“NOOOO, HUH, BASS SINGER, HUH!!” Deep-Voice Dobbson cried!

“Go, Winged Kuriboh! Use your… attack without a name, I guess!” Winged Kuriboh exploded, causing the dragon to shoot out a gigantic laser beam and destroy the evil opera man!

“La?!” He exploded.

 

Satisfied with his job, the dragon flew into the sky, saying, “REMEMBER: HE DIED SO THAT YOU COULD LIIIIVE!!” Then it disappeared. (Deep-Voice Dobbson: 1000 Life Points)

“Who knew that such a stupid monster could prove to be so powerful, huh?” Deep-Voice Dobbson grunted.

“I dunno. I feel sorry for it sucking so hard, yo.”

“Huh, well, I end my turn.”

“NO, YOU FOOL!!” Chazz roared, shaking the bleachers as the girls all began slowly regenerating. “SUMMON A MONSTERRRRRRR!!”

“I reckon Dobbson’s an idjit. Also, I reckon that almost none of us have Japanaese names, yet we’re from Tokyo.”

“That’s odd, Billy.”

 

“Attack!!” Jaden ordered, since his turn began after Chazz began yelling.

“You can count on me!!” Avian announced, flying to deliver a punch to Deep-Voice Dobbson!

“I discard my Bass Buster card from my hand in order to decrease your monster’s Attack Points by 1, HUH!!” Deep-Voice Dobbson yelled! He discarded a card showing the Bass Caterpillar smashing a French horn on some guy’s head.

“Whoops.” Avian barely missed Deep-Voice Dobbson. (Deep-Voice Dobbson: 1 Life Point)

“Now I summon, huh, Bass Hat, huh, and he attacks for game.” Deep-Voice Dobbson summoned a giant, red, baseball cap and it sang as it ate Avian. (Bass Hat: 2000 Attack Points)

“Nom nom NOM!!”

“Argh, I’ve failed again!!” Avian whimpered!

“NOOOOOOOOES!!” (Jaden: 0 Life Points. GAME OVER) Jaden failed. “IF ONLY I’D HAVE SET MY DRAINING SHIELD CARD!!”

 

“AAAAAAAAWW!!” The fans were outraged! Because they exploded too early to see Winged Kuriboh Level Ten. Otherwise, they felt good for Deep-Voice Dobbson.

“That was… so stupid…” Syrus whispered before fainting due to stupidity-related fatigue.

“DEEP-VOICE DOBBSON!! DEEP-VOICE DOBBSON!!” the audience cheered!!

“Hey, but he’s a blue, so it was kinda obvious that he’d win!”

“Oh, yeah.” The audience began filing out of the Duel Dome, even though the other games weren’t over yet.

“Now I feel slightly fulfilled,” Crowler said, leaving its seat.

“But seriously,” Chancellor Sheppard asked on, “Are you SURE you never had a sex transplant? I could’ve sworn…”

 

“Well,” Jaden sighed, “that’s game.”

“BOO!” somebody yelled.

“Just who keeps doing that?” Jaden turned to his left and noticed a weird duck standing around.

“BOO, BOO!” it yelled. Then it flew away.

“Oh. Anyways Dobbson, just tell me whenever you wanna duel again.”

“Okay, huh, Jaden, huh!” Deep-Voice Dobbson agreed, shaking Jaden’s hand. Two new rivals have just been truly born…

“I-I can’t believe it…” Chazz stammered. “Dobbson actually won? BECAUSE YUKI’S AN IDIOT?!?!”

“I reckon so. I also reckon that we congratulate’m!” Billy Hills decided.

“Okay.” Chazz and Billy Hills left the bleachers, stepping on Syrus’s hair.

“HEY, DON’T STEP ON ME!!” the hair yelled.

 

“Well, that was depressing,” Alexis told herself, leaving.

 

 

 

From now on, I'll just provide links to the next part here.

[eyeofthedeck]

Oh, dude! That was hilarious! Dobbson beat Jaden! The Duck part! The Bass monsters! DUDE! Funniest episode yet!

[Weather Report - Stand]

I put SOOOOO much energy into that duel, although it could have ended a lot sooner if Deep-Voice Dobbson wasn't so careless. It was my best work yet. Until maybe the first major story arc begins. Otherwise, it'll be a fluke.

[Weather Report - Stand]

Buh-buh-buh-buh-buh, I'm bumpin' it.

[Lk123]

OMG GREATEST FANFIC EVAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

[☨βlack☨]

Ummm... Chapter 5?

[Weather Report - Stand]

Yeah, Kaikae's workig on it, even if his name's Rwaring_Kaisu now, so this week I'll post episode 8. 6 was the second of two parts, so feel free to PM him about the status, guys.

[Weather Report - Stand]

Yeah, I'm working on episode 8, don't worry about it, though I may have to ask KaiKae/Kaisu if he just wants to leave the writing to me for this fic. Anyways, it's not in ANY danger of stopping!! At least not until they kill Yubel.

[Weather Report - Stand]

[spoiler=Episode EIGHT?! For the Sake of Syrus][spoiler=Part One]Yu-Gi-Oh! GX! The Fan-Fic!

Episode Eight: For the Sake of Syrus

Part One

 

Another bright, deadly morning on “Death-Volcano” Duel Academy Island began, and the volcano rumbled softly, emitting an electrical guitar sound. Jaden walked through a hallway with a serious face and walked through an automatic sliding door. I didn’t even know they invented those yet… that reminds me of my intense anger and hatred from yesterday.

 

“Uh, Jaden, Syrus has a brother, duh,” Alexis said upon the cliffs above the crashing sea of death.

“I’m not too sure if that was exactly how you said it last time, but okay. Who is he?”

“He’s Zane Truesdale, the best duelist at the Academy. Plus, he’s pretty cool-looking. And that’s about it.”

“Oh, thanks.”

 

Jaden had gone all the way to the “Special Writing Table” in the Card Shop and took out a pencil and paper. “Alright, since I’m at the writing table, I can write now without consequence, yo!” he shouted!

“Um, you’re dumb,” Countergirl said from the counter.

“I know, you don’t have to tell ME.” Now when I play against that Zane guy, he’ll have no reason to tell his brother that he’s not ready to use a trading card! I’m not too bright, but even I know the flawed logic there!

 

Suddenly, Crowler walked by for no reason. It noticed that Jaden was writing something. “What are you writing?” it asked.

“A paper.”

“I don’t believe you. Let me see it.” Crowler forcefully ripped it out of Jaden’s hands! “Oh, now look at what you’ve done! You ripped it!”

“I have a spare,” Jaden announced, holding up his second paper.

“Oh. So you’re writing out a duel request form to duel Zane Truesdale?!” Crowler scoffed at him. “He’ll defeat you, I already read the TV listings.”

“What’s THAT mean?”

“Oh, who cares, you’ll never understand.” Crowler ripped up the paper and threw it away.

“I have a third—“ Crowler took that one too and destroyed it. “Gosh, man, what’s the deal? I’m just tryin’ to help Syrus gain his confidence so that we can win the Tag Duel coming up soon!”

“I’m ripping them up because you’re an idiot!” Crowler yelled!

“NOOOOOOOOO!!” Jaden screamed melodramatically!! Actually, I have two more!

 

Meanwhile, Syrus was sitting in the Slifer Toolshed in a blanket, staring at a card. “Stupid Power Bond card!” Syrus yelled. “Great, thanks to my blabbering brother, I have intense self-esteem problems! I’m contemplating suicide.”

I would have never given you that cad had I known you would misplay it.

“WAAAAAUGH!! GHOSTY VOICE!!” Syrus wailed! “WHO SAID THAT?!”

Sure, you know how to use Power Bond, but there’s more to dueling than just that!

“Syrus, make your stupid imagination shut up!!” Koala Ko Ala ordered from the top bunk of the bed. Syrus dove under the covers.

“Great, now I believe that I can’t play Duel Monsters! And also because I see all of those ads of the skinny, pretty girls, I need to turn bulimic! And those Scientologists have made an argument, and now I have to become one of them!! ARGH, I THINK IT SO NOW IT’S TRUE!!”

“No, Syrus,” Syrus’s hair whispered, “If you think that, then the duel will go like THIS…” Syrus and Jaden stood in a hall of light. They were fighting two shadow-filled duelists, one of which sounded suspiciously like Tristan Taylor.

“Come on, you really suck!!” he goaded! “That’s all you can do? Fine, I’ll use my monster cards to use a Trap card which pays some Life Points, and I’ll tribute my monster to Tribute Summon this monster, then discard two cards to Special Summon this card, so that I can take over your dumb police car and attack Jaden making his Life Points zero!!” A giant police car robot police car robot appeared next to Jaden and punched him in the chops!

“Oof!!” Jaden’s skull exploded in a bloody torrent of terror as he spiraled into the air!

“NOOOOOOO, IT’S ALL MY FAULT THAT HE DREW SUCH AN AWESOME COMBO WHICH WAS REALLY ACTUALLY IMPOSSIBLEEEEEEEEEE!!” cried Syrus. Suddenly, Jaden rose up from the floor and his flesh peeled off!

He stretched his arm out, which was for some reason covered in squirming maggots now, and wailed “WHY, SYRUS, WHYYYYYYYYY?! WHY DID YOU LET HIM USE THAT REALLY IMPOSSIBLE COMBO?!?! YOU HAD A SOLEMN JUDGMENT FACE-DOWN, YOU KNOOOOOWW!!”

“Oh, yeah!”

“I’ll tell you why,” the other duelist said in a cool yet calculating tone, “Because he doesn’t belong here.” The shadow was lifted off of him and he was… TRISTAN TAYLOR!!

“BUT THAT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE!! HOW THE HELL DOES THAT WORK?!”

The two revealed Tristan Taylors both began cackling evilly!! “Hahahahahaha!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!”

 

“DAMMIT HAIR, NOW I BELIEVE IT’S GONNA HAPPEN!! YOU FAILED!!”

“Sorry…”

Meanwhile in the forest, Koala Ko Ala was munching some eucalyptus leaves because Syrus’ hair’s story was freaking him out. TWO Tristan Taylors?! Brr…

“Stupid Ms. Crowler,” Jaden mumbled, passing by, “Ripping up the other two papers I had stashed away. How was I to know that today she could read minds? What a crook, yo! She’s trippin’.”

“Uh, Jaden, what’s goin’ on?” Koala asked.

“Oh, hey, Chum—sorry, I mean Koala Ko Ala. Whatcha eatin’?”

“Eucalyptus. Want some?”

“Koala,” Jaden gasped, “That stuff’s POISONOUS to humans!”

“I’m not a human, I’m a Ko—“

“YOU’RE NOT A KOALA.”

“WHAAAAT?!” Koala Ko Ala almost fell out of his tree in surprise! “So THAT explains why those Koala magazines never thrilled me.”

“I’m not going to ask you what kinds of magazines you’re talking about, but I’m angry. I need to duel my emotions out in one gracefully hardcore movement of the wrist and mind in harmonious motion!!”

“That was beautiful,” Koala sniffed, brushing away a tear, “But it really made no sense. Sure, I’ll duel you after I fall off of this tree and get my deck from the tool shed.”

“Wait…” Jaden had a thought!! “Sorry, I’ll be right back after a few hours!!” Jaden bolted out of the forest scene.

“So who’s gonna help me get off of the tree, then?” Koala Ko Ala’s hands were slipping dangerously…

 

Jaden suddenly was pushed onto the beach. “Ow, stupid teleportation! Why can’t I control it?!”

“Because you suck, ass-butt.” Two MEAN Obelisk Blues were blocking his approach to the Blue dorms. One had a SWEET weird hairdo that looked like it had been twisted 90 degrees to the right! The other had a GNARLY “Three Stooges” Moe haircut! They SERIOUSLY had duel power!!

“I am NOT an “ass-butt!” Jaden defended! “I may be a butt, but why call me a ‘butt-butt’? That makes no sense!!” Sudenly the Moe-guy splashed him with a bucket of water. “WHAT THE HELL?!”

“Heh heh, come back when you’re promoted to Obelisk Blue, Slifer Slacker!” Moe-guy laughed. “Let’s go, Twisthead.”

“Lol, Moe!” They laughed as they walked off, bumpin’ knuckles all the way.

“I’m not an ass-butt…” growled Jaden with vengeance.

 

Jaden and Chumley walked back into the Slifer Toolshed, because apparently Jaden went back to help Koala Ko Ala up off of the ground. “So whadda ya gonna do now, Jaden?” Koala Ko Ala asked innocently.

“Well, I’ll tell ya ONE thing I’m not gonna do:” Suddenly Jaden’s voice turned dark and demonic. “I WILL NOT FORGIVE THOSE TWO.” Jaden kicked open the door and walked in. “Up ‘n at’m, Sy, we’ve got some Obelisk Blues to humiliate in a duel. Or worse.”

“Jaden, forget about it!” Koala Ko Ala yelled! “We’ll never see them again, they’re just one-shot characters!”

 

Jaden pulled the covers off of Syrus’ bed. SYRUS WAS NOT THERE!! “What a twist!!”

“There’s a horribly-written note!” Koala Ko Ala noticed! He read it aloud: “Dear Jade, I’m leafing Duel Academy. It’s fur the… uh, beast. Sigged, Syrus. Why can’t he write more clearly?”

Jaden ripped the paper out of his hands. “No way, Jose!” He pronounced it as “Joes”. “He’s not goin’ anywhere, yo! We’re gonna perform a dramatic rescue!”

“Okay then.” Jaden tore out of the room as Koala Ko Ala stumbed and fell.

 

Mere minutes later, Syrus had constructed a crappy raft and was about to shove off of the rocks into the ocean. Looking down at his handiwork, he mumbled, “I’m an idiot. This thing couldn’t even float for tree seconds. On the plus side, I get to drown and die quickly and easily!”

Jaden and Koala Ko Ala were tripping all over the rocks about 1/8 of a mile away. “Darn rocks!” Jaden cursed! “They’re real… ass-butts!”

“You’re under a bad influence, Jaden, like Bad Reaction to SImoochi,” Koala Ko Ala sighed sadly, holding up the card. “That will NEVER become a good catch phrase. Just stick to ‘get your game on’. It’s slightly less stupid.” Suddenly, Jaden’s card box glowed!

“Whubba-huh?” Winged Kuriboh flew out of his box of cards!

“OOH,” it said. It flew in his face, enraging him!

“Not you again…” Jaden picked up some rocks. “I’M GONNA GET YOU THIS TIME!!” He threw several, but they missed, seeing as it’s a ghost that rocks can’t hit. It began flying away after Syrus, because all it wants to do is help! “AFTER IT, KOALA!”

“Magic meatbaaaaaall!!” The boys followed it: One for vengeance, another for an emergency food supply.

 

Meanwhile, on the random stretch of concrete stretching into the ocean with a mini-lighthouse on it, Zane was standing. Yeah, he was just standing. UNTIL ALEXIS APPEARED!! Then he turned his head. And stood. WHAT A SCENE!! “So,” Zane spoke, “Any new leads?”

“No,” Alexis sighed, “But I thought that we were supposed to be worried about Syrus right now.”

“Don’t worry, you’ll find him,” Zane reassured.

“Uh, alright. But once again, I heard that Syrus was missing.” He’s so sexy when he’s stupid.

“Oh did you, now?”

“Well, it’s the goal of the day to find him, and apparently if we do, we get five dollars.” Inside of the duel dome there was a bulletin board. It had a memo reading: ‘Today: Find Syrus. Tomorrow: Catch footage of Koala Ko Ala’s dad.’

“The big bad brother. What, does Jaden want to scold me now?”

“That didn’t make ANY sense.”

“Heh,” Zane chuckled.

Alexis turned toward the rocks and saw Syrus ready to do something stupid! “OH MY GOSH HE’S ABOUT TO SHOVE OFF!!”

 

Syrus pushed his lousy boat into the water as Jaden ran up a hill and leaped several feet into the air, landing on the boat and making it break and capsize. “You suck at building boats, Syruuuuuus…” Jaden apparently couldn’t swim.

“Oh no, me neither!” Syrus panicked! “Who’ll save him now?!”

“I WIIIIIILL!!” Koala Ko Ala ran up the hill, leaped, and smashed into the ocean, causing ALL of the water to splash skyward, making many fish fall all over the place. Jaden coughed up some water, but he was alright.

“Thanks, guys!”

“Hurry, you don’t have much time!!” Jaden scurried off of the ocean floor and onto dry land just as the water fell into place again in one huge sheet, rather than rainfall.

 

Jaden wiggled around, making all of the water on him fly off. “Syrus, why’d you decide that if you didn’t know how to play a single card right that you’d leave school forever?” he asked. “We’ll teach you, yo!”

“Well, then you could get a better tag duel partner instead of me, like Koala Ko Ala,” Syrus explained.

“Uh, yeeeeah, I actually suck, so your idea stinks,” Koala Ko Ala said.

“Also, you’re wrong,” added Jaden.

“What?”

“I wouldn’t be able to do that.”

“Do what?”

“Get another partner.”

“Huh?”

“I can’t get another partner, it’s against the rules.”

“Oh.”

“So if you left, you’d die and I’d be screwed.”

“Oh, sorry then.”

“But-but I came to save your life, not my grades.”

“Oh, that makes it better then.”

“Good, good.”

“He is right you know,” Zane called. Everybody gasped and averted their gaze at… ZANE AND ALEXIS!!

“Zane?! But we already established that fact!!” Syrus explained and yelled.

“Hey lady, I can see up your skirt from here,” Koala Ko Ala said. “Have some dignity.” Alexis stepped back about three paces. “Thanks.”

“Thanks a lot, Koala Ko Ala,” Jaden mumbled.

“You’re droppin’ out?” Zane asked.

“No, we already fixed that problem, so we can all go home now.”

 

The credits began to roll, but Zane cut it off. “Well it’s about time,” he growled.

“Not anymore, jerk-off!” Koala Ko Ala insulted!

“Yeah, it was just about over, yo! Talk about lame!”

Syrus began walking away. “I’m tired and I was really ready to end the episode.”

“Syrus, you KNOW you can’t have a daily adventure without a duel, too!”

“Because I know it,” Zane said.

“Uh, what?” Alexis groaned.

“That’s IT!!” Jaden roared! “I’ve been in such a bad mood today that I’ve even gotten out of character for a while! Now I’m going to do what I’ve been TRYING to do all day… “ Jaden paused. “I’m gonna ask you to play a card game with me! Will you play a card game with me?”

“Jaden, you know that you’re not allowed to directly ask people to play a card game with you here—no, wait, how many times have we broken that rule already?” Syrus wondered. “Anyhoo, I have no problem with this.”

 

“… Duel a Slifer? Sure, why not. After all it’s been a while since I went slumming.”

“What’s slumming, Jaden?” asked naïve little Syrus.

“I dunno, but I’ve got a card game to win, now! Get your game on!”

“BOO!” somebody yelled.

“Jaden, WHO WAS THAT?!”

“I think it was some sort of duck. No, seriously.”

 

Hour(s?) later, on the pier, the group had set itself up along the harbor place. It was nightfall, and Syrus was antsy because that was about the time when the kids all got served milk and cookies. “DUEL!” Jaden and Zane drew their respective cards. (JADEN: 4000 Life Points) (ZANE: 4000 Life Points)

“I sure hope we don’t miss our milk and cookies,” Syrus worried.

“Don’t worry, Sy, this’ll be quick enough so that we don’t miss cookie time!” Jaden smiled. “Nuthin’ goes better with winnin’ than cookies!!”

Except for ice cream, Alexis mentally corrected.

“I’ll kick this off by summoning Elemental Hero Avian in Attack Mode!” Jaden announced!

“AW, MAN!”

“You KNOW every time you use him you screw up somehow and he dies!”

Avian appeared, made a dumb pose, and yelled, “HOOAH!!” (AVIAN: 1000 ATK)

“And I think I’ll go ahead and throw down a face-down!” Jaden concluded.

“We can do this, right, Jaden?” Avian asked. Nobody replied.

 

“That’s all, huh? For my first move, I’ll summon Cyber Dragon in Attack Mode!” Upon summoning, Zane’s huge robot snake dragon thing burst through the concrete and made an EVEN BETTER pose than Avian! (CYBER DRAGON: 2100 ATK)

“Oh crap, guys! You were right!” Jaden gasped!

“I could play my Cyber Dragon BECAUSE it was my first turn, Jaden. With no monsters out, he requires no sacrifice,” Zane explained.

“WHO ASKED YOU?!”

“And now I’ll play Mystical Space Typhoon to destroy your Face-Down card!” A rip-roarin’ tornado took out the Trap Jaden was saving.

“This sucks!”

“Not as fast as your Life Point meter will go down! Cyber Dragon, attack!! Strident blast!” Cyberr Dragon powered up fire power and shot out a column of flame at Avian!

“Yeooooww!!” he screamed, as he was burned away at a humorous speed.

“I’m never summoning him again unless I have a good reason!!” Jaden exclaimed. (JADEN: 2900 Life Points)

Boy, my brother says the funniest things unless he’s scarring me for life, Syrus thought.

 

[spoiler=Part Two]

Yu-Gi-Oh! GX! The Fan Fic

Episode Eight: For the Sake of Syrus

Part Two

 

“Next, I’ll activate the Spell card, Different Dimension Capsule,” Zane said, Cyber Dragon staring down Jaden like some hungry guy staring down a stack of pancakes. A sarcophagus appeared on the field and Zane took his deck out from the deck holder. A card popped out like magic, and he placed it in front of his face menacingly! “It allows me to take any card in my deck, and remove it from play for two turns. Then I can add it to my hand.” He put the card into the HOLOGRAM and it left the third dimension entirely.

“That turn was so weird that I can’t even remember all the questions I was about to ask you,” Jaden admitted. He wiped his nose for no reason.

“Why do people in Japan apparently wipe their noses all the time?” Syrus asked.

“They only do that on tv, Sy, and plus I have an ENGLISH name, so I’m ENGLISH now,” Jaden laughed.

“Then why did you do that, anyways?”

“It’s your move, Jaden,” Zane said, changing the subject.

“Alright, I’ll use my Polymerization card! Next, I’ll ROLL out my heroes Sparkman and Clayman!” Elemental Heroes Sparkman and Clayman both appeared and then got sucked into a black hole that Polymerization suddenly created, crushing them and killing them as they passed the event horizon. The sounds were gut-wrenching. Then the black hole was consumed by light! “Now I’ll, heh, ROLL OUT my Elemental Hero Thunder Giant!!” The electric black hole exploded, and then Thunder Giant fell down from above. (Thunder Giant: 2400 ATK)

“RAAAAAWRWAAAAR!!” he roared, similar to Godzilla in many respects.

“Then what was the cool light show for?” Koala Ko Ala asked.

“Who cares, because my Thunder Giant’s special ability can destroy your Cyber Dragon like spoiled milk!!”

“WHAT?! I don’t get it!!” Suddenly Cyber Dragon was shocked by a bolt of lightning, killing it randomly.

“Now that’s what I’m talkin’ about!” Jaden cheered! “I killed one of your main monsters!”

“Yay!” Koala Ko Ala cheered!

“Okay,” Syrus sighed, “But he has two more copies.”

“Uh…” Jaden began sweating. “I’ll pretend I didn’t just hear that.”

“Me too,” Koal Ko Ala agreed.

“Well, I’ll set a card face-down and have my Giant guy attack you directly!” Jaden pointed at Zane and his Thunder Giant held out both fists. Electricity came out in a lame looking-fashion. Zane didn’t flinch when he was hit by the holographic attack! (Zane: 2400 Life Points)

 

“Wow, he didn’t even flinch from that fake attack!”

“Duh, Jaden, It’s not real.”

“WHATEVER YOU SAY, Alexis. WHATEVER YOU SAY.”

“Nice moves kid,” Zane congratulated. “But, now that my field’s empty again, I can just throw out another Cyber Dragon.” Another Cyber Dragon appeared.

“U-uh, well, my m-monster is still st-st-stronger that it…” Jaden stuttered.

“Or better yet two!” No, Zane did NOT use a comma. “I activate Monster Reborn!” He held out said card. “And with just one monster in my Graveyard, you can guess who’s coming back.” And alas, within a huge shower of sparkles, the first Cyber Dragon appeared!!

“Holy crap, man, this ain’t lookin good, yo…” Jaden shivered in his boots.

“But not for long,” Zane added. He held out a Polymerization card. “Impressive form,” he noted.

“That was an impressive way to reveal a card, Zane,” Alexis said in a sweet voice, “Look at what it’s done to Jaden!” Jaden was laying on the ground, unconscious but frothing at the mouth in a puddle of urine.

“Wake up, or else I’ll get that on tape!” Koala Ko Ala threatened!

“And he’ll do it, too,” Syrus put in for good measure.

“WAAH!” Jaden quickly leaped to his feet, pretending that had never even happened. BUT THE STAINS TELL ALL…

 

A more impressive black hole that Jaden’s appeared behind the two Cyber Dragons, and Zane regally held his arm up. “Now, Cyber Twin Dragon, emerge!” A two-headed Cyber Dragon appeared from the depths of the black hole! (Cyber Twin Dragon: 2800 Attack Points)

“What a stupid idea!” Koala Ko Ala gasped!

“And my monster can attack twice per turn, so that means DOUBLE the trouble for you and your Life Points!” Zane’s joke wasn’t funny, but the two dragons charged up a laser beam and fired at Jaden!

Quick, Jaden, come up with a comeback before you look totally un-cool compared to him… “Wow, a two-headed dragon!” he bravely yelled. “What’re you compensating for, something down there, perhaps?” The audience face-palmed together in perfect synchronization. “But I have a Trap card!” Jaden flipped up his Trap: A Hero Emerges! “You choose one card in my hand and I can Special Summon it! Now choose!” Jaden held up his single card. Zane stared blankly at it while the twin laser blasts were still slowly (and I mean SLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWLLLLLYYYYY) rotating towards him and his giant. “I’ll just summon him. Wroughtweiler!”

A dangerous-looking robot dog appeared on the field! “RA-RA-RA-RA-RA-RA-RA-RA—“

“Yeah, you’re a toughie, alright,” Jaden said. (Wroughtweiler: 1200 Defense Points)

“You’ll need’m,” Zane agreed! “Cyber Twin Dragon, DOUBLE Strident Blast!”

“That’s STILL a stupid idea!!” Koala Ko Ala gasped! “What’s next; a THREE-headed dragon with TRIPLE Strident Blast?!”

“RA-RA-RA-RA—“ Wroughtweiler was yet again interrupted from his stupid barking by the giant laser hitting him and Thunder Giant. (Jaden: 2500 Life Points) The dog’s head, however, survived just long enough to spit out two cards at Jaden.

“Thanks for killing him for TWO REASONS: One, he was annoying—oh, no, I meant to say that the two reasons were these two cards I get from my Graveyard. A hero and Polymerization… well, you get what I mean.”

“I don’t worry.”

“Heh ha ha, you ARE SO STUPID!!” Jaden laughed! “What’s up with your brother, Sy?”

“He was dropped on his head by his mother when he was younger. Last year, I mean.” Syrus turned to Alexis. “And why aren’t you defending your boyfriend?”

“Because he IS stupid,” Alexis replied. “Why don’t you defend your abusive older brother?”

“Touché, Girl-Jaden, touché.”

“What?”

“Long story. Remember?”

Zane smiled and retorted, “You too, Jaden.”

“That was a DUMB retort,” Koala Ko Ala explained.

 

“My turn!” Jaden announced! He threw down a monster! “I throw down a face-up! Elemental Hero Bubbleman!”

“BOO,” somebody yelled. Some ugly Batman impersonator appeared, except he was fat-ish and blue. “BOO,” somebody repeated. (Bubbleman: 800 Attack Points)

“I understand where he’s coming from, he IS pretty ugly,” Alexis muttered.

“And because the rules on Duel Academy Island are different from the rules everywhere else,” Jaden went on, “I can draw two awesome cards, yo!” Suddenly and without warning, Winged Kuriboh appeared on his shoulder.

“OOH,” it cooed.

“THIS IS FOR EARLIER!” Jaden punched it in the face!

“OOH!!” It fell on the ground, unconscious similarly to how Jaden was when he wet himself. Jaden took this time to look at his two cards. They were Winged Kuriboh and Some Lady Abducts an Angel Kid!

“Oh, and because the rules for Bubbleman everywhere else say that when he’s summoned and I have nothing on the field, it counts as a Special Summon, so I can summon Winged Kuriboh and activate Some Lady Abducts an Angel Kid!” And thus, he cheated by using the real rules. Winged Kuriboh appeared, then got swallowed up by a dragon, took over its body and blew Cyber Twin Dragon up. (Zane: 0 Life Points. Game Over)

 

“Wow,” Syrus gasped, “Now I have the power – to save the day with my Cyber Bond card! It all makes sense now!

“That was awesome!!” Koala Ko Ala screamed!

“Impossible…” Alexis whispered. “He won.”

“Hm.” Zane smiled and turned around to leave. He looked back at his little brother, though. Then he left.

“Hey, I actually beat him!” Jaden cheered! “Does that make me Obelisk Blue now?”

“No.”

“Aw, snap.” Alexis left because she wanted to console Zane. “Uh, bye, Alexis?” asked Jaden, somehow.

“So, what happened?” Alexis asked the blue-haired tall guy. “You were supposed to win. What went wrong?”

“I think Sy chose good friends, Alexis.” Zane smiled.

“I guess that explains everything…”

Jaden turned to his buddies and said, “How about we go eat some milk and cookies?”

“AWRIGHT!!” Koala Ko Ala yelled!

“But seriously, change your pants,” Syrus said.

“It was THAT noticeable?!”

 

 

 

[Weather Report - Stand]

Episode 8 is done.