Weather Report - Stand Posted February 14, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 14, 2010 Thanks. AND THEN THERE'S PART TWO...?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaisu Posted February 14, 2010 Report Share Posted February 14, 2010 Yeah.. Hey, I think we should make a big colorful banner for this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weather Report - Stand Posted February 14, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 14, 2010 Updated! The Dark Magician has got an attitude! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Des ＨＥＲＯ Posted February 16, 2010 Report Share Posted February 16, 2010 I liked how chaos was underlined. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weather Report - Stand Posted February 16, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 16, 2010 Well, thanks, Mr. Destructo-guy, and I assure you that there's much more than chaos in store for the second part. What did y'all think of the music, by the way? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaisu Posted February 17, 2010 Report Share Posted February 17, 2010 Music didnt' show for me.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weather Report - Stand Posted February 17, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 17, 2010 Well, I checked everything, and so your computer must hate Youtube. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Des ＨＥＲＯ Posted February 18, 2010 Report Share Posted February 18, 2010 Oh I know there's going to be more choas in episode 19,because of the great black luster soldier-envoy of the beginning.About the music thing,my computer is rubish so it also has a thing for going slow on youtube.However,soon that problem for me will be fixed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weather Report - Stand Posted February 19, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 19, 2010 It hath begun. And also, in the future, I will be taking a week off in order to present any future two-parters in one cool part. HEED THESE WORDS!! [spoiler= Episode Nineteen: The King of Copycats - Part Two][spoiler= Part One]This TV Gag is dedicated to the English translation of Yu Yu Hakusho, featured in Shonen Jump magazine. Yusuke Urameshi had just come back to life and entered the demon plane in order to help stop the big bad, Sensui! “Hey, Sensui!” Yusuke yelled. “Sorry to keep you waiting!! Shall we pick up from where we left off?!”Then, Hiei, one of Yusuke’s three subordinate fighting buddies, the no-nonsense short guy with a secret past spoke up. “Hold on there, po’dner. I’d like to take him on first.” Everybody present turned to him and stared. “What? What’s wrong? Stop staring at me.”“WAHAHAAHAHAHAAH!!” everybody laughed!“IT’S NOT FUNNY!!” Hiei growled!“I’m sorry, but it is,” Kurama, the demon fox admitted, trying to regain composure, “you’re not supposed to say those kinds of things! It’s just so…” He burst out in laughter again.“Ha ha, ya goofball!” insulted Kuwabara.“Hey, nobody says ‘goofball’ either! Why aren’t you laughing at him?” Bastion threw his YuYu Hakusho book onto the floor. Whoever translated this story… he promised, …SHALL FEEL MY WRATH, BLAST IT!!“Hey, what’cha doin’ readin’ manga?” Koala Ko Ala asked. “Jaden’s still dueling Yugi’s deck!” He pointed at the Dark Magician of Chaos Jaden was facing down.“Oh yes, I completely forgot!” Bastion gasped!“How could you forget that…?” Yu-Gi-Oh! GX! The Fan FicEpisode 19: The King of Copycats – Part TwoPart One (Jaden: 1300 Life Points, Barry the Beginner: 4000 Life Points) Wow, I’d better do more than just get my game on, Jaden realized.BOO, someone said.This guy doesn’t just have Yugi’s deck, he thinks he IS Yugi! He’s one crazy muthah! Somebody call in the funny farm, because this guy’s all jacked up in da’ head! “Oh-kay, time for a comeback!!” Jaden called out! He drew his next card! “I gotta draw something tough—WINGED KURIBOH?!”“OOH,” said his newly-drawn Winged Kuriboh card.“Oh what the hell, do you think this is FUNNY?”“OOH!” Winged Kuriboh responded, closing its eyes with joy.“’Kay ya lil’ bastard, if you wanna play, play with Barry the Beginner!” Jaden summoned his lil’ fluffer-nutter to the field! (Winged Kuriboh: 200 Defense Points)“Yo,” Avian greeted. Winged Kuriboh glared at him. “What did I do?”“I’ll also throw down a face-down and call it a turn!”“BOO,” someone said.“Man, do you REALLY have to say that EVERY time?” Syrus challenged. Jaden turned to him and looked at him as if to say, ‘who IS this crazy kid?’ “Hmm, nice to see you again,” Barry the Beginner sighed, “BUT THERE’S NOTHING QUITE LIKE THE ORIGINAL!!” The original Kuriboh was summoned to the field, accompanied by intense music!Syrus couldn’t take it!! “’OLY SHI—” “WATCH YO MOUFF!!” Koala Ko Ala attacked, slapping Syrus in the face!“YEOW!”“But why would you summon him?” Jaden asked. “That was just plain retarded!”“And you’re offensive! Dark Magician of Chaos, destroy Avian!” “Okay,” agreed DMoC.“Not so fast!” yelled Jaden! “Oh, okay.” DMoC sat down again, idle.“I play Super Junior Confrontation!” Jaden activated his Trap card, which featured two kindergarteners (one of which was CHAZZ?! I think) boxing against each other! “This card which for some reason has baby-fied Chazz fighting some other kid makes our weakest monsters battle each other! Yo!”“OOH!!” Original-flavor Kuriboh flew into and through Winged Kuriboh like an ace fighter jet!“Heh, he died!” Jaden chuckled!“Erm, yes. Now I set a card and I’ll end my turn,” Barry the Beginner said, finishing up. “My turn! Hope ya’ like playin’ with bubbles, because I summon Elemental Hero Bubbleman!” “That sounded stupid.”“I know!” And so, the fat batman guy in blue appeared in a bubbly mist! (Bubbleman: 800 Attack Points)“How does that guy even SOUND threatening in the LEAST?” wondered DMoC. Yes, his name will always be shortened now.“I don’t know, but I’ll activate a Field Spell you may need a hard hat for! Skyscraper!”“Stop it with the stupid stuff, please!” DMoC pleaded!“All this was in the original script, so it can’t be helped!” As soon as he’d said that, dozens of building broke through the ground! “Also when an Elemental Hero guy attacks a stronger guy, he gains 1000 Attack Points.”“Kick his ass, Jay!” Syrus encouraged! “No, this will NEVER be a G-rated series!”“And I’m giving Bubbleman the equip card Bubbleman’s Bazooka!” Bubbleman was suddenly holding a blue bubble bazooka.“That’s even cooler than Sparkman’s Gun!!” Avian gasped!“Of course, it’s a bazooka! And it gives’m 800 more Attack Points!” Jaden explained! (Bubbleman: 1600 Attack Points) “And when he dies in battle, only the BAZOOKA dies! Now SHOOT HIIIIIIIM!!” And taking great aim, Bubbleman splashed Kuriboh… but not yet!“Attacking Kuriboh? WHICH Kuriboh? I activate MULTIPLY!!” Barry the Beginner flipped up Multiply, a picture of a NOTKURIBOH turning into three NOTKURIBOHS and had nothing to do with KURIBOH AT ALL. “This Kuriboh-related card makes FOUR Kuribohs!” Four Kuribohs flew out of the Spell in dazzling fashion as the original blew up for some reason!“This is it,” Syrus muttered, shaking, “the four horsemen of the apocalypse… but they’re still cute.” And then one got splashed by a bubble and ‘sploded. “Okay, only three now.”“Ha, my Kuriboh token was in Defense Mode, making your attack useless!” Barry the Beginner admitted! “Will you end you turn now, Jaden?”“Sure, Barry, but not ‘till I throw DOWN a face-DOWN, yo!” Jaden threw down a face-down.“BOO,” someone said.Syrus was right, Bastion analyzed, he really DOES say that EVERY time! “Well,” Barry the Beginner said, “I play the magic of Card of Sanctity!” He played a card I’d detailed before, with guys dancing in a storm of cash. “Each player draws cards until their hands are six cards big!”“Dah, okay!” Jaden said. Barry the Beginner drew Ancient Gear Golem! “Uh, whoops, I mixed in a few cards from my last deck on accident,” he shrugged, throwing it away into the ocean.“It’s okay, man, just draw another.”Barry the Beginner drew Statue of the Wicked. “Um, I drew another…”“Gosh, man, draw right this time!” DMoC yelled!“Okay, I’ll try!” Barry the Beginner threw away the last card and drew Lolwut. I NEVER EVEN USED THIS ONE!! Barry the Beginner despaired with a look of total disgust dressing his face! “Oh, HERE’S the right card, ha ha ha,” he laughed uncertainly, as he drew his next CORRECT card. It was Watapon! A puffy thing with huge eyes and antennae! “When I draw Watapon by an ability, I can summon it to the field, but then I’ll sacrifice it!” Watapon flew onto the field and became an orb of shimmering light! “Now come forth, Dark Magician Girl!” And so, the overly-popular monster I see absolutely nothing in flew onto the field and struck a pose! (DMG: 2000 Attack Points)“Aw, man,” Syrus syed, blushing, “now I’m attracted to a collectible trading card! I feel dumb.”“You disgust me,” Bastion flat-out admitted.“She dresses even less than Alexis!” Jaden gasped! “And she really doesn’t dress much, if ya know what ah mean, eheheheh!” He winked.“Well she gains 300 Attack Points for the Dark Magician card in my Graveyard!” Barry the Beginner added! She glowed and grew STRONG!! (DMG: 2300 Attack Points)“Okay, sis, ready to kick butt?” asked the blue magician guy. Dark Magician Girl said nothing. “Oh yeah, you don’t have a soul card version of her…” He felt lonely. “I’ll attack him for you now.” He raised his staff into the air. “WAIT!!” Barry the Beginner squealed! “Don’t destroy the bazooka first! Let Dark Magician Girl do that, and then YOU attack for more damage!”“I don’t listen to you, you’re not Yugi!”“Thanks for being an idiot!” Jaden thanked!“’YER WELCOME!!” DMoC blew up Bubbleman’s Bazooka!“Aw, I liked the bazooka,” Avian sighed.“Okay, Dark Magician Girl, do your thing,” Barry the Beginner ordered, sadly. The female version of the magician used the female version of the last attack, with extra pink. And Bubbleman blew up!“Ugh, it still sucks, though!” Jaden growled! (Jaden: 800 Life Points) “Hey, wait! This Life Points thing is messed up sumthin’ terrible, dude!” Jaden realized!No! Don’t tell him! Syrus thought.“If my Bubbleman has 1600 Attack Points when equipped with Bubble Blaster, and when it’s destroyed, he has 800 again, how come I didn’t take all the damage I should have?”“Huh?” wondered Barry the Beginner.Stop explaining it to him!“I mean, YOUR lady magician gal has 2300 Attack Points, more than 1300 extra points are left over from battling Bubbleman!”“…And your point iiiiis?”“GOSH DARNIT, JAY, DON’T TELL HIM WHY YOU DIDN’T LOSE DUE TO A GLITCH YET!?!?” Syrus shouted!“Oh yeah, cheatin’s what helped me beat Zane!” Jaden geared up for battle again! “Cheatin’s gonna help me win back that deck fair ‘n square, thanks to glitches!”There’s a lot of things wrong with that sentence, Bastion and Koala Ko Ala thought, their faces contorted by disgust. “I’m back, baby!” Jaden drew his next card! “Now I think I’m ready to use Polymerization to fuse Elemental Heroes Avian and Burstinatrix to form Flame Wingman! See, I told you guys he was gonna be useful soon!”“You didn’t say that.” And so the lady of flames stood next to Avian, and they made the crappy swirling fusion in a massive tornado this time for some reason, but it was okay this time, since Flame Wingman made his best pose yet, which I’m not detailing for some sick satisfaction of mine. (Flame Wingman: 2100 Attack Points)“I wish I knew what that pose looked like,” Syrus syed.“Shut up!” yelled Koala Ko Ala.“And I’m not done yet!” Jaden exclaimed, holding out The Warrior Returning Alive! “I bring back my Sparkman to the field!” Sparkman appeared FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE, covered in blood, arrows, and bloody arrows. He flexed his mighty arms, blowing them all away! He was REBORN!! (Sparkman: 1600 Attack Points) “Now, with the power of Skyscraper, take out that magician! The cool-looking one!” (Flame Wingman: 3100 Attack Points)“Cool-looking…” DMoC craned his neck around. “Oh, crap.” Flame Wingman stuck his dragon arm into his head from above and annihilated the body with a sudden burst of flames! “Noooo, my magician of magical tricks!” cried Barry the Beginner! “And plus,” Jaden added, “due to my hero’s super power—”“SPECIAL ABILITY!!” cried some guy.“Whatever, you lose Life Points equal to your guy’s attack points, in addition to the battle damage.”“FWAAAAAH!!” screamed Barry the Beginner, being consumed by flame in a whirly twister-shaped fashion! (Barry the Beginner: 900 Life Points)“Next I’ll attack…”“Jaden, don’t kill Dark Magician Girl yet,” Syrus pleaded. “You KNOW how depraved semi-pubescent little boys get.”“Okay then!” Jaden decided! “For Syrus’s sick kicks, I’ll kill a token!” Sparkman walked over to a Kuriboh token, picked it up, studied it, and ate it. “Now that he’s done bein’ barbaric and disgustin’, I’ll throw down… I mean, SET,” Jaden winked, “two cards face-down, and use Emergency Provisions!” The card with crackers and a kipper snack appeared again! One of the cards became a cracker...and he ate it! “Mmm! Them’s sum GOOD Life Points!” (Jaden: 1800 Life Points) And I owe it all to cheating… Jaden happily thought, with a dreamy look on his face. “That was a great turn!” Koala Ko Ala cheered! “Except… for Syrus’s suggestion…”“I’m sorry, I’m disgusting!”“Don’t worry about your fetishes, Syrus, I’m just the same way! I switch my Dark Magician Girl into Defense Mode, and then I’ll play Spider Web!” Barry the Beginner played a Spell card! It had a spider on it. The spider was in a web. BUT THEN A STRAND OF HUGE SILK SHOT OUT OF THE CARD AND INTO JADEN’S DUEL DISK!! It stole a card out of his Graveyard and brought it back to Barry the Beginner!“Holy shizznit! Holograms are trippy!”“They sure are, Jaden, because my Spell card here lets me take a card you placed in your Graveyard last turn, and steal it… FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE!! I chose… the cracker card!!” He revealed the Emergency Provisions card Jaden just used!“He’s right!” Bastion gasped! “There IS a cracker on that card!”“I’ll set two cards, play Monster Reincarnation, discard a card, take back Kuriboh, and set one more card, and then I’ll discard ALL THREE for the cracker card!” And so all of that stuff happened in fast motion, just to save time and money! (Barry the Beginner: 2900 Life Points)“But why Kuriboh?” “Because he’s the stuff of nightmares!”“Amen to that, bruthah’-man! But he’s still not as scary as being blown up in a fiery inferno by FLAME WINGMAN!!”“He’s right!” assisted (dead) DMoC. Dark Magician Girl was punched allowing her to ‘SPLODE!! Then Barry the Beginner caught on fire again.“WoooOOAAAHOHOHOH! I’m getting TIRED of that!” (Barry the Beginner: 1600 Life Points)“Now, I totally own your mom by using De-Fusion!”“WHAT?!” Barry the Beginner gasped! “Take that back, you muthah’—”“And I use De-Fusion.”“What?!” A card with a picture of two guys being defused appeared, allowing Flame Wingman to become Avian and Burstinatrix once more!“Kill ‘da Kuribohs!” “Yes, SIR!!” Avian agreed! He and Burstinatrix grabbed the two last Kuriboh Tokens and chowed down into them! “Now, Sparkman, end this two-parter!” Sparkman dashed at Barry the Beginner, charged up his ‘lectrical palms, and…“No! I discard Kuriboh, the stuff of nightmares!!” Barry the Beginner yelled! A big wall of the fluffy dudes appeared and swarmed over Sparkman!Aw, man, I can’t eat ALL of these! Sparkman thought. If only I had my gun!! He ran away to fight another day!“Shipwreck!” Jaden cursed!“I forgot Kuriboh had a special ability!” Syrus cried! “It’s too cute to remember THAT!!”“Shut up, Syrus!” Koala Ko Ala roared! “Do you EVER STOP ANALYZING EVERYTHING THAT THE VIEWERS FEEL OR HAVE TO KNOW?!”“Koala Ko Ala, calm down!” Syrus urged! “I’m sorry I didn’t duel for a ticket for you! It’s just that the script didn’t call for that!”“… Okay.” Koala Ko Ala turned around and was silent.Is he… still mad at me, now that I’ve said sorry?Oh, Kuriboh, Barry the Beginner reminisced, that brings me back to those duels in Battle City, against Seto Kaiba, that freak with the Blue-Eyes White Dragon-shaped jet aeroplane. Do you remember that? A faint spiritual representation of Kuriboh appeared and shook its head, for no. Ah, yes. You do. It shook its head harder. YOU DO, I SAY! Now, let’s show this kid who the TRUE King of Games REALLY is!! TO BE CONTINUED!! [spoiler=Part Two]Yu-Gi-Oh! GX! The Fan FicEpisode 19: The King of Copycats – Part TwoPart Two “Alright, this is for Kuriboh. His fall SHALL NOT be in VAIN!!”“What?” gasped the opposing crowd. “I remove Watapon and Kuriboh FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE, IN ORDER TO SUMMON BLACK LUSTER SOLDIER, ENVOY OF THE BEGINNING!!” Kuriboh and Watapon briefly appeared on the field before swirling into a chaotic pool of soul juice.“What’s he doing?” Syrus asked. “What’s that monster?”“Oh, bloody heck…” Bastion shook uncontrollably before collapsing onto his knees. “Th-that monster…”“It’s such a strong monster that it physically affects you?!” Koala Ko Ala gasped! “That’s sick!”“That and one other monster are SO rare, that they’re in the SAME CLASS as Blue-Eyes White Dragon, as there are only about four or five copies, because that’s stupid but helps sales,” Bastion narrated, “and they’re SO powerful that they’re banned in tournaments all over the world, making them utterly useless as a big ‘take that, you suck’ to those who spent their lives searching, searching for such a card…” “AND RIGHT YOU ARE!!” Barry the Beginner agreed! “I SUMMON MY BLACK LUSTER SOLDIER!!” And from the puddle of soul juice arose a man with scarlet hair drooping from a helmet and armor crafted from gold and sapphire, and decorated with two draconic rubies. His mighty blade and shield were as strong as three full-strength Avians! (Black Luster Soldier – Envoy of the Beginning: 3000 Attack Points, 2500 Defense Points) “Now, kill Avian right now!”“WHY ME?!?!”“HUAH!!” The soldier brought up his blade, and swung it down hard enough to cause a ripple through all of space-time! Avian disintegrated.“Uh…” (Jaden: 0 Life Points) “I use the power of Skyscraper, though it’s illegal!” (Jaden: 800 Life Points) “Thank GOODNESS for cheapness!” Jaden thanked.“Yes, like MY brand of specially-crafted cheapness you can only get at YugiMart!” Barry the Beginner said!“What’re YOU gettin’ at, bub?”“My monster can attack TWICE per turn!”“Oh schnitzel.” The ripple that the last attack forced through space-time began surging back! Imagine it as you will, as I have no idea what I’m talking about! The force of the blast was coming straight for Burstinatrix!“Oh crap,” Syrus gasped, “now cheating CAN’T help him now!”“Cheating help us!” pleaded Bastion! “Cheating help us ALL!” Even though I was told to do this by Crowler, Bastion thought, I never WANTED Jaden to lose! I just wanted to see him win a jolly good duel! Maybe make a two-parter event! But not like THIS! “No way, Joes! I ain’t lettin’ BURSTINATRIX die, no matter how much of an ample target Avian is! I use Hero Spirit!” A Trap activated, showing off a hero and his blazing soul within a battle versus a massive hoard of unstoppable evil and rage! “If an Elemental Hero died this turn, all damage is zero!” Avian’s spirit appeared by Burstinatrix!“I shall protect you!” he promised. Burstinatrix turned very annoyed-looking and simply shoved him into the distortion of time and space. “You didn’t have to be so MEAN about it!!” he complained, fading away once more.“Hmm, you’ve saved yourself for one more turn, boy,” Barry the Beginner acknowledged, “but hear me; YOU SHALL FALL NEXT TURN!! So says the heart of the cards.”Aw, man, he’s right! All I have to do with THAT is thinking of STOMACHS! thought Jaden, referring to the last episode. I don’t have anything else to protect me now. And it’s highly unlikely that I’ll get exactly the card I’ll need to win next turn. What can I do?“OOH,” suggested Winged Kuriboh, appearing before him. Jaden punched him away. Damn, you make me so furious for an unexplained cause!! Jaden thought. Wait… wait! If I can just channel all this rage into my duelin’ muscle, I can WIN THIS THANG!! Jaden began glowing with an aura comparable to a thousand suns!“What’s happening?!” Koala Ko Ala gasped! “HE’S ACTIVATING HIS DUELING MUSCLE!!” Bastion shouted! “BRACE YOURSELVES!!” “I DRAW… I DRAW… I DRAAAAW!!” Jaden drew. “YES!! BARRY, ‘YER TOASTED BREAD!! I use Silent Doom, which allows me to bring back Avian in Defense Mode with no costs!” He slammed his card (with the picture of an evil hand grabbing some energy) into the Graveyard and called out Avian!“I never die~” Avian cheered! “MY SOUL BURNS WITH THE FURY OF A HUNDRED TEMPESTS!!” Jaden roared!“What’s he talkin’ ‘bout?” wondered Koala Ko Ala.“WITH DOUBLE SPELL, I SHALL TAKE THE SPIRITS OF YUGI WHICH YOU HAVE STOLEN!!” He played a Spell card, featuring two cool magicians putting two magic energy spheres together for some reason! “I DISCARD THIS CARD IN THE NAME OF JUSTICE, AND I TAKE YOUR POLYMERIZATION IN THE HONOR BEFORE REASON!!” The two magicians from the card appeared and grabbed Barry the Beginner!“What’s goin’ on ‘round here?!” Barry the Beginner screamed. The mages took Polymerization out of his Graveyard and ran with it all the way back to Jaden! “THE CLUSTERING WILLS OF MY TWO MONSTERS COMBINES TO FORM A NEW STAR!!” Jaden screamed! Avian and Burstinatrix floated a bit for one more combo.“This is all I’m good for,” Avian mumbled. They combined again… to make Flame Wingman, who was really in the Graveyard.“Great,” Syrus syed, “now he’s cheating AND spouting random dramatic gibberish…”“AND NOW, IN THE NAME OF SYRUS PLEASE SHUT UP…”“Hey!”“I CALL OUT THE FINAL CREATION DESTINED TO BLOW YOUR HOPES OF THEIVERY AWAY, ELEMENTAL HERO FLAME WINGMAN!!” And so, on top of the highest point of the highest tower in Skyscraper Town with an antenna on it, Flame Wingman descended once more!! (Flame Wingman: 2100 Attack Points)“Oh, poopy!” gasped Barry the Beginner!“FLAME WINGMAN, BELIEVE IN YOURSELF, GO BEYOND WHAT WAS THOUGHT TO BE THE BARRIER, AND KICK OFF INTO TOMORROW!!” Jaden babbled! “SKYDIVE SCORCHER!!” Flame Wingman leaped off of the tower and gained power from the poppin’ city beat! (Flame Wingman: 3100 Attack Points) He disappeared. “Huh?” wondered Black Luster Soldier. But then Flame Wingman reappeared in front of his face without warning! The hero of the day punched Black Luster Soldier in the jaw SO HARD that he IMPLODED, creating a massive ripple in space that created funny hats for everybody. “What the heck?” asked the audience, stunned to see their new jester cap, beanie, and ten-gallon hat upon their heads.“NOW,” Jaden shouted, wearing a derby hat, “COMMENCE THE DIVINE PUNISHMENT!! BLOW HIM AWAY!!!?!” And Flame Wingman flew in front of Barry the Beginner again, for the THIRD TIME, and pressed his flamedragonarm to his face. Taking off his beret in shock, Barry simple grimaced.“I already said I was getting tired of this attack…” BAM! And the Life Points are GONE! (Barry the Beginner: 0 Life Points, Game Over) “HE DID IT!!” Koala Ko Ala cheered! “It’s all thanks to cheating!”The field was filled with smoke, thanks to that last big attack by Flame Wingman. Barry the Beginner fell to the ground and shivered as Jaden approached in a slow, doomy manner. “P-please, don’t come near me,” Barry the Beginner pleaded, reverting to his previous voice. But Jaden did not stop. He stared at Barry the Beginner with the most dejected-looking expression he could muster, gaining a Yankee stance and delinquent eyes. He looked down at him. Then he said the most dramatic thing he could think of.“DARN tootin’,” Jaden growled menacingly. “Aw, crap. I’ve been readin’ too much of the AMERICAN ENGLISH RELEASE OF YU YU HAKUSHO!!”“WE GET IT! YOU DON’T LIKE THE TRANSLATOR! GIVE IT A REST ALREADY!!” screamed Angry McArgue.“Okay, fine,” Jaden agreed. “Now, Barry, gimme ‘da cardz.”“These?” Barry the Beginner asked, holding out the Yugideck. Suddenly a strong, random wind blew by. The cards were sent flying over the nearby cliff. “Oops.”“…”“…”“YOU JUST DROPPED YUGI’S DEEEEEECK!!!!” Jaden overreacted with good cause!! He held up his MIGHTY FIST OF RAEJ!!“W-wait, wait!” Barry the Beginner pleaded! “I can explain EVERYTHING…” “Uh, did he just drop the deck off the cliff?” Syrus asked, just to check.“Yep,” Koala Ko Ala verified.“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!” Bastion screamed!“GAAH! You’re out of character!” Syrus gasped.“Don’t you two good chums see?!” Bastion asked. “You two have to combine your energies to save the day, here! Only YOU two can do it!” Koala Ko Ala and Syrus stared at each other. “You have to forgive each other, as while we’re talking over here, it’s taken up MUCH more time than was needed for those cards to reach the ocean!” The cards were helpfully floating in the air over the cliff, thus being helpful. BUT THEN THEY FLOATED DOWNWARD!!“Syrus,” Koala Ko Ala said, “I’m sorry for not forgiving you!”“And I’m sorry too for being a jerk because of the script!!” Syrus cried!“Let’s save that stuff because Bastion is too lazy to do it!”“Right!!” Koala Ko Ala grabbed Syrus and attached him to his back! “GO-GO!!” Koala Ko Ala burst into the cool night sky!! Syrus held out his arms and they began flying around like a stealth bomber, silent but deadly! They flew down the side of the cliff, in hot pursuit. “I can’t believe they fell for it,” Bastion chuckled. “The science of psychology is very great indeed…”The cards were almost in the ocean. “We’ve gotta hurry, Sy!” Koala Ko Ala gasped!“I’LL TRY BETTER!!” Syrus grunted, exerting even more energy! His arms released a steady stream of heart-energy, and their speed increased ten-fold!“GRR…”“AAAH…”They got closer to the deck, and closer to the sea… closer… closer… cloooooseeeeeer… The cards were finally absorbed by the surf and completely ruined. “WHAT A RIP-OFF!!” cried the duo, sinking into the ocean.Meanwhile, Jaden was still with Barry the Beginner. “You can explain everything?” Jaden repeated. “What’s there to explain? You just stole a deck due to stupidity and heat ‘o ‘da moment, yo.”“No, there’s MUCH more…” Barry the Beginner sighed sorrowfully. He took off his Yugi-like hair… and revealed Yugi’s hairstyle! He grew a few inches taller! And he did NOT look like a beginner anymore!! “I’m actually the real Yugi.”“Oh.” Jaden stood there for a moment. “HUUUUUUUUUH?!?!”“Yeah, I learned how to grow and shrink at will after that Atem/Yami fiasco, ha ha ha.”“WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE?!” Jaden demanded! “WHY DID YOU STEAL YOUR OWN DECK?! WHY DID YOU GIVE ME SUCH A CRAPPY CARD THAT I HATE IN THIS SERIES FOR NO GOOD REASON?!”“Well, I’m at this school for a secret mission,” Yugi began, wistfully and full of nostalgia. “I was sent into Duel Academy in order to study the new generation of duelists and make sure that they were using the real dueling spirit and not sucking like they just learned how to play. Sadly, it’s not working well. Also, my other friends from the first series are monitoring the world in their own ways, as well.” Jaden remembered the two Tristans in the Paradox Brothers two-parter. He also remembered Joey from the ‘Tumor Humor Association of America’ commercial we’ll never forget. He chose never to wonder how that helped study the duel prowess of the youth. “Why were there two Tristans in that one episode, if you know what I mean?”“We never even KNEW there were TWO before.”“Oh, okay. Then why do you act like such a loser, yourself—” “I really got into the duel-personality thing, ever since that old Atem/Yami fiasco.”“Heh, you said ‘duel’, as in card games! Awesome!” Jaden hit him with Winged Kuriboh. “Now what about the card?”“Oh, it’s just ‘ta screw with ‘ya.”“That’s okay, then. And why did you steal your own deck?” Jaden asked, once more.“Oh, I was just pissed off about when my grandpa stole my deck and sold it to Kaiba to tour around the world, bless his soul. I don’t really like him anymore.”“Okay, so thanks for answering my questions.” Jaden and Yugi shook on it!“You’re quite welcome, Jaden.” Yugi fixed his wig and size. “Let’s go before they start asking about what we’re doing sitting around in this smoke that won’t go away.”“Good idea.” They walked out of the smoke.“What were you doing in that smoke?” Bastion asked.“I asked Yugi some questions,” Jaden said.“Oh… WHA?!” The two guys left before Bastion could attempt to figure it out. “I must go find Yugi in that smoke myself!” Bastion decided! He rushed into the huge smoke cloud, helping to further the spread of lung cancer in today’s youth. The next day, Bastion was coughing violently for a few hours, and the rest of the school was really excited to see the YUGIHALLOFYUGIDECK!! They were all bunched up outside of the door, and the guards were having trouble holding them off! “Hey, all of you, step away from the door for a minute!” a guard asked. The guards were all quickly shot and killed, and the children broke through the doors!“YEAH! WE’RE GONNA SEE YUGI’S DECK!!” a kid shouted! And all they saw was a broken display case, surrounded with shards of glass. Inside said case was a trading card deck, soggy and dripping wet, and on top of the deck was an Ancient Gear Golem card.… WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!?! they all wondered, disgusted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Des ＨＥＲＯ Posted February 20, 2010 Report Share Posted February 20, 2010 That was good I liked how Barry kept drawing the wrong cards like lolwut lol.Why must lolwut haunt people,anyway true chaos I see. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weather Report - Stand Posted February 20, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 20, 2010 You see, Lolwut is the evil that lays in all our hearts, preying on our blood, and waiting for the fireworks to start. Basically, it makes no sense. And that's why I finished the episode now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weather Report - Stand Posted February 27, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 27, 2010 Also, this is the most disgusting chapter yet. And also note that I will be taking a week off in order to present the two-part episode in one night, so get ready for some satisfaction. [spoiler=Episode 20:The Maiden in Love][spoiler=Part One]Yu-Gi-Oh! GX! The Fan FicEpisode 20: The Maiden in LovePart One So, it was six o’ clock, the universal dinner time hour, and everybody in the Slifer Toolshed was chowin’ down on some bargain food! “I wish this food had real substance to it!” a kid complained. “This dorm is so poor! It’s like child abuse or something here!”“They actually gave ME garbage!” Jaden said, holding up some inedible glop on his paper plate. “It LOOKS bad, but I wonder if it’s actually GOOD garbage, and they’re just tryin’ to test me!”“Oh boy, your happy-go-lucky side is back…” Syrus syed.“Students, stop eating your crap and listen up!” Professor Banner ordered, appearing out of nowhere.“Like I’d LIKE to eat this!” a kid growled. “I mean, you LITERALLY gave me CRAP.” He held up his dish, holding a full baby diaper on it.“It’s not my fault Obelisk Blue absorbs all of our funds. Get over it or get better cards, losers.”“MEOW,” agreed Garfield the cat, who was named after Garfield the Cat™.“Now, we have a new student transferring into the school today, and—Koala Ko Ala! Stop chewing with your mouth open!! Now, as I was saying, their name is Blair.” A small kid wearing a big, dumb, puffy hat walked next to Banner, and she was obviously a little girl. “Blair says that he is, in fact, ‘not a girl’. Also, if he does feminine things, ignore him, because he has a condition.”“Hmm…” Blair glanced at Jaden, who was scooping some of his disgusting glop into his mouth. Her heart skipped a beat! He’s… eating garbage… and this feeling… “It tastes bad, though!”“I TOLD YOU NOT TO EAT IT, JADEN!!” THE! NEXT!! DAY!!!It was morning at the academy, and the usual guitar sounds made us feel better after watching Jaden eat that stuff. And there was an assembly, to boot! Every available student was lined up according to rank and such, as usual, in front of a video screen featuring Shepherd’s massive face. “Alright, students, now I’m about to tell you that—Koala Ko Ala! Stop chewing with your mouth open! Okay, now that THAT’S over with, I’m here to inform you all that we’re having our big School Duel against our BIIIG rivals, North Academy!”“Rhyme Time is Sublime!”“Thank you, Rhyming Ryan, even if rhyming is very annoying the way you do it. So, we’re going to have to find a first-year representative of the school in order to duel a random kid THEY pick out! What an idea! And so we’re having our two most popular students at this academy DUEL it out to find out who WHUPS them North Academy bumpkins! So, we’re going to have a short sequence where our two brightest stars are picked out from the crowd! And you can ONLY participate if you have an ACTUAL NAME.”“Aw, come on!” groaned several dudes and dudettes, as they left the assembly hall. “Yo! I have followers!” Jaden announced! Syrus and Koala Ko Ala clapped for him.“Okay, two people like Jaden,” Shepherd noted, writing it down on a notepad. “Is anybody else liked at this school, or do you all suck?”Alexis raised her hand.“Me—”“BASTION ROKKX MAH SOKKX!!” roared Piggybank, Fluffy Fred and Baseball Bob, holding up Bastion as he dressed up in a white headband, white unbuttoned shirt, chest bandages, white pants, and white-ish shoes, brandishing a wooden sword! The words ‘FIGHT! KILL! LOVE!’ were written on the headband in blood.“Yes, I do rock socks!” Bastion assured! A giant wave crashed behind him for dramatic effect!“Okay, and Bastion, who ‘rocks socks’. Got it. Well, bye and all that.” The screen blinked off and the students walked around in random directions. Jaden approached the dejected Alexis.“Hey, Alexis, I didn’t know you were a first-year!” Jaden said! “You’re too well-developed for that!”“Actually,” Alexis told, “I was held-back last year.”“Whaaaaat?”“I didn’t do my schoolwork because I didn’t really know how to play card games, I just really liked Zane,” Alexis revealed!“What took a year to understand about it?”“I don’t know, but every year there are a few people like me that I have to eliminate, if you catch my meaning.” Alexis’ eyes flashed for a moment.“Oh, you kill’m?”“No, I just tie them up and put them on a raft. So if you find any girls at this school who can’t duel, just let me know.” “Okay.”“Well bye.”“Bye.” They walked in separate directions. Then Jaden walked up to Blair. “Do you know how to duel?”“No,” she answered with her girlish voice.“Oh. Are you sure you’re not a girl?”“Ahh! No!” she screamed in her feminine voice.“Oh, well that’s good.” Jaden walked away, leaving Blair to feel confused.“Delinquents have such stupid fashion sense,” Bastion complained, trying to cover his cold belly in the background.“No, Bastion, it’s all the rage!” Piggybank assured! “Plus I get to see your stomach!”“Okay…” She scares me, Bastion shivered. LIL’! BIT!! LATER!!!Jaden and his buddies were walking past the stone statues of the Duel Academy. “And that’s why Alexis has such a confusing body for what we THOUGHT was a fourteen year-old!” Jaden finished.“I thought that the artists drew every girl like that and were thoroughly disgusting, and causing everybody to watch this bad show indecent,” Syrus thought.“So everybody loves Zane? Unless they’re male?” Koala Ko Ala asked, double-checking. “How stereotypical! Just because of his immense dueling skill, steely gaze, great figure, hard, manly abs… I’m scaring myself. I’ll just be quiet.” “Good idea.” Suddenly, a small, non-boy ran across the field ahead! “Oh ship, that’s Blair the Non-Boy!” Jaden screamed! “I must chase her!”“Good luck,” Syrus said, as Jaden ran off.“…I still feel uncomfortable,” sighed Koala Ko Ala.“It’s okay, everybody’s like that with Zane for a little while in their lives, even me,” Syrus said.“Thanks. You make me feel like a man again, Sy.” Meanwhile, across the freakin’ island and a few minutes later, Jaden had successfully trailed Blair all the way to the Obelisk Mansion. She climbed up a tree and onto a veranda! Hmm, Jaden thought, That non-boy’s gonna get in trouble if non-he’s found in the mansion! I’d better bring non-him to non-his senses! Not a boy! Jaden followed stealthily up the tree and walked through the big window-door that brought them from the veranda to… Zane Truesdale’s room! Aw, man! This non-guy’s in love with Zane! I’d better tell Alexis, even if non-he’s a non-boy! But he stopped as Blair took out Zane’s deck box from his dresser, near his cool bed! She opened it up and took out a few cards. Yo, don’t tell me non-he’s…“Now to do indecent things with these cards~” Blair said, blissfully.AW, YO!! Jaden disgustedly thought! But he heard something! He peeked back out onto the veranda and saw none other than Zane Truesdale and his random entourage of three Obelisk Blue people approaching fast, who will never be seen again in the entire series!!“Hey, wanna chill up in ‘yer room, Zane?” asked Random Blue Guy A. “Yo, you gotta get outta here, yo!” Jaden gulped, surprising Blair!“Y-you were in here, too?” Blair gasped!“Yeah, and I even heard you say you were gonna do indecent things with those cards, but that’s not the point! We’d better jet, you horny bastard!” Jaden grabbed her by the wrist and puller her away forcefully, hard enough to make her drop the cards, her hat, and a fancy hair clip, making her long, indigo hair (it’s anime, deal with it) flutter out into the world!“H-h-hey!!” Blair growled! Jaden was flabbergasted.“HOLYSHITSHE’SAGIRL!” Blair grabbed her dumb-looking hat and cool hair clip and dashed out, leaping off the tree! “Hey, shouldn’t I be leaving too?” Jaden wondered. Then the door opened. “Hey, Zane, this Slifer Slacker’s up in your room!” Random Blue Guy C shouted! “Let’s murdalize ‘em!”“Eh, ah, um, don’t hurt me!” Jaden cried!“Or what?” challenged Random Blue Guy B.“OR THIS!” Jaden flew forward and punched Random Blue Guy B with enough force to destroy the entire mansion! Random Blue Guy B simply caught the incoming fist with his hand, smoking now due to the impact, but unhurt.“Fool, everybody in this story is allowed to break character and become a super-human!” Random Blue Guy B chortled!“Damn…” gritted Jaden.“And now, we’re takin’ you to Ms. Crowler!!” Random Blue Guy A chuckled!“Noooooo, not that freaky man-lady! Anything but heeeeeer!!” And as Jaden was being pulled off by the terrible trio, Zane looked at his feet and noticed the cool hairclip among his fallen cards.“Let’m go,” Zane commanded.“Wha?!” gasped the three random blue people!“Really?” Jaden asked, elated suddenly!“Would you like to leave, Jaden?” Zane asked. “Or would you rather I reconsider?”“Uh, okay.” Jaden ran away and jumped through the glass door window, sending glass fragments everywhere. “Ow!” cried Blair from inside a bush, being coated with the sharp stuff! “That’s it, you’re dead…” she decided, menacingly feminine! LATER! THAT!! NIGHT!!!Alexis and Zane were… on the docks! Uh… yeah! “Why’re we on the docks, Zane?” Alexis asked.“Lex, I caught Jaden snooping in my room today,” Zane said.“Jaden? I did NOT know he was gay, I swear.”“Maybe, but he left this.” Zane took out the cool hair-thingie he’d found earlier!“OH… MY… FLABBER-NUGGETS.” Alexis was filled with THE RAGE OF A BEAST!! “JADEN’S A GIRL WHO CAME TO THE SCHOOL JUST TO GET CLOSE TO YOU?! JEALOSY… JEALOSY! JEALOSYYYYYYY!!” Meanwhile, Syrus walked into the Jaden-room at the Slifer Toolshed, wiping off his head. “Okay Jaden, outhouse’s all yours,” Syrus said. “Note to self: use the SINK for washing hair…”“I’m not forgiving you for this,” Syrus’s hair growled.“No, Jaden’s not here,” Koala Ko Ala said, pooping out from the top bunk as usual. “He hasn’t been here all day, or that Blair guy who’s obviously a girl. Hey, why’d you ask Jaden when he hasn’t been here all day, while I’m almost ALWAYS up here?”“I dunno, he’s the main character, I guess… HUBBA-WHA?! JADEN and that GIRL who PRETENDS to be a BOY haven’t been here ALL DAY?!” Syrus and Koala Ko Ala looked at each other. “You know what I’M thinking?” Syrus asked suggestively.“Boy, do I!”“SUPER SEXY HIGH SCHOOL HIJINKS!!”“BACON AND CHEESE MCSAMMICHMEALS!!”“No way, Koala Ko Ala!” Syrus reprimanded. “Didn’t Bastion say a while ago that the Sammiches were a one-episode plot device?”“But they tasted so good… okay, let’s go SPY on ‘em!”“Yeah!” And so, by the cliff by the ocean…Jaden and Blair were standing there, for some reason. “So, why’d you find me hours after those crazy hijinks and then drag me out by this raging coastline, yo?” Jaden asked.“So I could tell you not to tell people I’m a girl,” Blair said.“YOU’RE A GIRL?!”“YOU ALREADY SCREAMED OVER THE REVELATION THIS AFTERNOON, IDIOT!!”“Oh yeah… but tell me why you’re disguising so unconvincingly to stalk a tall kid with super sexy abs?” Jaden requested.“Because… it’s a secret!!” stressed Blair.“I’ll tell if you don’t let me know! I swear it, yo!”“You wouldn’t dare!!”“YOOOO!!” Jaden shouted, cupping his hands around his mouth for maximum impact! “BLAIR’S A GIRL!!”“We know already, idiot!”“Shut up!”“OKAY, okay!” Blair cried! “I’ll tell you. It’s because—” “WE DON’T CAAAAARE!!” interrupted Alexis, swinging in on a jungle vine! She let go and flew into Jaden’s face with a megaton double-death kick, allowing the vine to swing off-screen forever.“WAAAAGH! WHAT’RE YOU DOIN’, FOO’?!” Jaden begged!“HOW DARE YOU TRY TO STEAL ZANE FROM ME, YOU WEIRDO!!” Alexis grabbed Jaden by the scruff of his neck and began pounding his face in. “OW! No, OW! Actually, OW! Blair’s, OW! The one, OW! Who’s, OW! Stalking Zane around the campus by disguising as a girl, OW! Yo. OW!” Alexis stopped punching him. She turned and faced Blair. Blair almost wet herself with terror from the look she got from her. “Uh, at least I don’t have to duel tis episode, yo!”“Oh no, you do!”“Why meeee?!” Alexis grabbed Jaden by the cranium and groaned, “For making me confused by not coming to me earlier about this little girl who can’t play card games, and yet stalks Zane, YOU shall duel her in my place. GOT THAT?”“I learned how to play a few minutes ago,” Blair helpfully told, holing up her Yu-Gi-Oh! Trading Card Game rule book.“You shut up!” Suddenly and without warning, Syrus and Koala Ko Ala rolled slowly down the big cliff behind them and collapsed upon the rocks in a heap. “Aw man, the camera’s busted!” Koala Ko Ala sniffed.“How’re we gonna take suggestive photos of Jaden and that non-boy Blair kissing passionately and sell them for 200% profit NOW? Oh, hi Jaden,” Syrus greeted. The trio around them stared at them with the RAGE OF A BEAST!! For extra emphasis, you may imagine flames behind them. Two seconds later, Syrus and Koala Ko Ala were inside of a cramped giant birdcage, suspended by chains attached to who-knows-where off the top of the screen. “How does THIS setup work?” Syrus asked, teary-eyed. “And why is Alexis always the most normal person around here unless Sammiches or my bro’s involved?”“That’s not it, Syrus,” said a cool-voice guy off-screen, “because Blair isn’t really a guy, she’s a girl.” It was Zane, of course.“WE KNOW,” everybody said, even Chazz.“The Obelisk security cams showed her in our dorm,” Zane added.“WE KNOW,” everybody said, even Cocoa Titan. “DUEL!!” Jaden and Blair suddenly shouted! (Jaden: 4000 Life Points, The Non-Boy: 4000 Life Points)“Alright, get ready!” Blair warned, drawing a card. She glanced at Alexis, who was holding rope and a poorly-made raft. Scaaaary… “Er, I summon Lub-Dub Girl!” A shojou-esque backdrop filled the world as a petite girl that was apparently supposed to be cute appeared, with INTENSE long brown hair, and a EXTREME yellow dress!! (Lub-Dub Girl: 400 Attack Points)“WH-WH-WHA-WHAAAAAAT’S UP WITH THE BACKGROOOOUND?!?!” Syrus panicked, as a sparkly bubble floated a bit too close to the cage for comfort.“Don’t question it, you’ll just get more confused!” Koala Ko Ala warned! “Because I don’t feel ‘da need to check if your gal has any special abilities, I summon Avian!” Jaden said, confidently!“NO, JADEN, DON’T!!” But it was too late. “Huah!” Avian grunted, flying onto the field! (Avian: 1000 Attack Points) “I’m back, baby!”Koala Ko Ala smacked himself in the face. “Jaden’s doomed…”“Why, would I be doomed, dude?”Jaden obliviously asked. “Avian, attack!”“OH-YEAH!!” Avian grunted, shooting out a big gust of wind from his wings! It hit the Lub-Dub Girl, but apparently caused intense distress and caused her to fall to the ground, helplessly.“Oh, ugh! Ahh!” she delicately screamed!“Ow, I should’ve summoned her in Defense Mode! I wish I’d learned how to play earlier!” Blair grunted, making excuses for why she sucks. (Blair: 3600 Life Points) “NAAAHT!!” She retorted!“Huh, she said ‘naaht’. That’s a funny way to say ‘not’, heh heh WHAT?!” Jaden gasped!“When my Lub-Dub Girl is attacked in Attack Mode, her ability that you never asked about activates! SHE LIVES FOR LOVE!!” The shojou background was turned up to full force! “OOH,” said Winged Kuriboh, appearing suddenly.“Oh great, it’s you,” Jaden sighed. “What’s up now?” Winged Kuriboh pointed out into the fray. Avian had come to Lub-Dub Girl and tried to help her up!“Are you okay?” Avian asked gentlemanly!“…Maybe,” Lub-Dub Girl responded, in a tsundere-tone. Suddenly Avian’s heart went ‘lub-dub’, and he was hooked!!“AVIAN, WHAT’CHA DOIN’?!” Jaden flabbergastedly shockedly screamed!“I’m sorry,” Avian said, as a nose-bleed began, “but I’m a lolicon.”“DAMN you and your NON-MANLY monsters, Blair! I bet your Lubby-Dubby Thing isn’t even a virgin anymore, ‘living for love’!”“…Maybe,” Lub-Dub Girl responded, in a tsundere-tone. “Maybe she’s not, but when she’s attacked, your monsters feel the TRUE meaning of the term ‘lub-dub’! And now I activate the card Cupid’s Kiss and attack with Lub-Dub Fury!!” Blair’s new Spell card summoned a petite angel kid who flew up to Lub-Dub Girl and kissed her on the cheek. And then she turned her attention to Avian. A field of flowers bloomed in front of her instantly! She began running to him in slow-motion!“Hey, you wanna do things behind the scenes that I’m not allowed to talk about on TV?” Avian asked.“…Maybe,” Lub-Dub Girl responded, in a tsundere-tone.“Avi-AAAAHN, DAMN you’re nasty!!” Jaden groaned! “You just crossed the line TWICE, no, THREE TIMES!!”“As IF the original didn’t have the same pedophilic connotations!!” Avian raged, as he hit Jaden with a massive whirlwind in retribution! (Jaden: 3000 Life Points, The Non-Boy: 2800 Life Points)“They’re ACTUALY keeping that name on the score counter?!” Blair gasped! “Anyways, now that I equipped my Lub-Dub Girl with Cupid’s Kiss, any monster she attacks becomes MINE!” She folded her arms and released an air of confidence about herself! “Looks like YOU’RE screwed, YO!” TO BE CONTINUED!! [spoiler=Part Two]Yu-Gi-Oh! GX! The Fan FicEpisode 20: The Maiden in LovePart Two As Blair had just stolen Avian, which we could all see coming, she had but one thing left to do. “I’ll set a card and end my turn,” she decided, setting her Spell/Trap card.“You know, if you didn’t summon Avian, maybe, perhaps Clayman, this wouldn’t have happened…?” supposed Koala Ko Ala.“You’re getting good at this,” Syrus complimented.“Shut up, yos! Avian is NOT bad luck! Syrus’ HAIRSTYLE is BAD NEWS, yo!” Jaden countered! Syrus’ hair sniffed and cried a single tear.“You’re so mean, Jay…”“GET ON WITH IT,” Alexis pressured, standing next to Zane now, who decided not to say anything, AS USUAL. “Hmm, Avian’s fallen in love, and I’m fallin’ behind!” Jaden gulped. “BOO,” someone said.“Okay, he’s going into a ‘phase’, then.” The ‘BOO’ guy was apparently satisfied. “I know! Summoning another monster will help! It ALWAYS helps! I summon Elemental Hero Sparkman!” Unleashing untold volts of voltage, Sparkman was on ‘da case! (Sparkman: 1600 Attack Points) “Now, KILL Avian!”“Whaaaaat?!” Avian gasped, losin’ his cool! “Why me?!”“Don’t worry, I actually PROTECT MY Avians! And I only have one!” Blair shouted! “I use my Trap Card! Barrier Maiden!” Her Trap featured an overly-busty knight lady (have you come to expect anything less from Kazuki Takahashi?) holding a massive red shield! Lub-Dub Girl leaped in front of Avian and absorbed a massive electrical shock!“Gasp! Little girl of the Lub-Dubbers!!” Avian gasped!“Avian’s okay now, and someone else’s feelin’ the lub-dub tonight!” Blair said, excitedly! (Blair: 1600 Life Points)“Still, a deck based around having your monster get hit several times for massive damage really sucks,” Syrus noted.“I said I just learned how to play, shut up!” And so, Avian tried his best to support his fair maiden, who was underage! “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! Are you okay?!”“Ugh… maybe,” Lub-Dub Girl responded, in a tsundere-tone, with signs of pain.“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! Sparkman, you really, really suck! You know that?” This apparently gave Sparkman the power of lub-dub within his heart and soul. He walked over to Avian. “Dude, she’s mine,” Avian defended. But Sparkman was staring at Avian.“I’m royally disturbed,” Alexis said, feeling quite ill from all the trials and tribulations that had just arisen.“Ditto,” agreed Syrus.“He just threw up in the cage!” Koala Ko Ala screamed!Zane said nothing.“I’m too young for this!” Blair screamed! “WHY did I have to ask my older brother for some cards?!”“Now you KNOW all older brothers are evil perverts!” Jaden shouted, pointing to Zane! “WHY would you ask an OLDER BROTHER for CARDS?!”“My older brother’s Kaiba!” Meanwhile, somewhere Kaiba chuckled. Serves her right for embezzling all those funds under my name…“YOU NEVER TOLD ME I HAD A LITTLE SISTER!!” Mokuba screamed, scared and vulnerable. “Crap, she just killed all sorts of continuity,” Syrus groaned, “and it was all thanks to the author being stuck for ideas!”“You suck, Weather Report!” Jaden insulted me. “Try and remember who you’re talking to,” Zane suddenly said, reciting lines from the show. “When Sy and I were growing up, he claimed to be going steady with Dark Magician Girl.”“Uh, what does that have to do with that insult?” Syrus asked, stuck for ideas.“YEAH, ZANE! MAKE SENSE MORE!!” everybody said, including Mann McOldsmobile.That was close, Syrus syed. “But little brothers are evil perverts, too!” Jaden added.“Oh dammit, Jaden!” Syrus cried!“Well I activate the Equip Spell card Happy Marriage!” Blair announced! Wedding bells appeared onto the field! “Now my Lub-Dub Girl gains Attack Points equal to Avian’s!” Lub-Dub Girl was suddenly in a wedding dress!“Wanna get hitched?” Avian suggested. “…Maybe,” Lub-Dub Girl responded, in a tsundere-tone, gaining Attack Points. (Lub-Dub Girl: 1400 Attack Points)“Yayz!” And that was how Avian got married to an eight year-old.“This is the worst episode EVAR!!” Jaden cried in shock! “Now, attack Sparkman!” Blair commanded! Lub-Dub Girl ran over to Sparkman and tripped. (The Non-Boy: 1400 Life Points) Sparkman casually walked up to Avian. Wanna marry me?“Uh, sorry, I don’t roll that way,” Avian said. Sparkman turned to Lub-Dub Girl.… Wanna get married too?“…Maybe,” Lub-Dub Girl responded, in a tsundere-tone. Okay. Sparkman and Avian Superstar Saga tag-teamed in an attack at Jaden’s Life Points!“AAAAH, THAT’S ILLEGAL AND IMMORAL AND YOU SHOULD DIE FOR BOTH MARRYING AN EIGHT YEAR-OOOOOLD!!” Jaden screamed! (Jaden: 400 Life Points)“You can’t beat me, Jaden,” Blair said, activating her second transformation by taking off her hat and releasing her hair into the breeze, “’cause I’m dueling for LOVE!!”“Did she say ‘dueling for love’?” Zane asked. “Does she mean dueling with love?”“You’re an idiot, but at least you’re MY idiot,” Alexis sighed.Zane’s expression hardened!! “OOH,” coaxed Winged Kuriboh, attempting to help Jaden rise up from the ground!“Shut UP! I KNOW I shouldn’t have played two guys against Lub Dub Girl! Leave me alone, jerk!” Jaden drew his next card: Polymerization! “Aww, yeah, boyos! I’m TOTALLY gonna MOP ‘DA FLOO’ WIT’ ‘CHOO NOW!! I summon Elemental Hero Burstinatrix!” And in a flash of flame, Burstinatrix came onto the field! (Burstinatrix: 1200 Attack Points)“HEY!!” Burstinatrix shouted!“GASP! Burstinatrix!” Avian gasped!Burstinatrix! Sparkman thought!“Get away from MY girl!!” Burstinatrix raged!“Oh crap, she’s gonna kill us!” Avian cried! “What will we tell your wife?!”This never happened, worried Sparkman.“Uh, I did NOT know before this that Sparkman is gay, Avian was a lolicon, and Burstinatrix was a gay lolicon. Ugh, my deck’s disgustin’. Let’s just get this thing over with. I use Burst Return to bring mah boyos back into my hand, yo.” Jaden slapped a Spell card down in lackluster fashion which featured Burstinatrix standing in front of a massive explosion, a la-awesome movie fashion. Burstinatrix simply stared at Lub Dub Girl with maliciously confusing intent. Burstinatrix held out a whip.“Uh, I’m getting outta here,” Avian decided, “AND I’m going to counseling over this. Ugh, most humiliating night of my life…”Yeah, I’m goin’ wherever HE’S goin’, Sparkman stated. The two floated back into Jaden’s hand, wimpily.“Now, Burstinatrix, I fuse you and Avian together!” Jaden said! Burstinatrix looked at Jaden sadly, and then complied.“Is it okay if I kill you and meet you later tonight?” Burstinatrix asked.“…Maybe,” Lub-Dub Girl responded, in a tsundere-tone. “Okay!!” Bustinatrix fused in the normal manner to create Elemental Hero Flame Wingman!! (Flame Wingman: 2100 Attack Points)“Now, kill that defenseless little girl with Flame Dragonarm!!” Jaden commanded in a harsh manner! Flame Wingman held out his supah-coo’ arm and thought, with both halves, I’m sorry…. They shot Lub Dub Girl with intense heat, thereby winning the game, and allowing that shojou background you’ve all forgotten about to fade away! “Crap I loooooooost!!” (The Non-Boy: 0 Life Points, Game Over) “And what’s worse,” worried Blair, “is that now I have to get forcefully sent adrift at sea by a psychotic lady though I’m coming back in the next season or so!!”“I’M USUALLY NOT PSYCHOTIC!!” Alexis roared! “Now, Jaden, tie her up!” She tossed Jaden the ropes and raft she held up earlier, causing part of the poorly-constructed boat to break off.“Yo, that’s harsh yo!” Jaden cried! “You REALLY don’t have to kill little girls like that!”“Yes, yes I do,” Alexis said cheerfully, hugging Zane’s arm. “Plus, I’ve had no evidence of the girls from the past actually dying, so we don’t really know~” MEANWHILE, IN THE OCEAN SOMEWHERE…Several random girls in Duel Academy garb were sitting on a group of rafts, with their arms wrapped behind their backs. “I’m hungry,” one said.“Me too,” another agreed. MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE RANCH—SCHOOL, I MEAN…“Wait, guys!” Syrus urged!“What is it?” Alexis inquired, turning to Syrus with a sadistic look that would make small kittens explode from sheer terror.Okay, I officially DON’T have the crush from episodes two and three on her anymooooore!! “Eh,” Syrus struggled to begin, adjusting his glasses in a smart kid manner, “I just checked a future script! From the future! It says that she really IS coming back at the end of the second season! To lose a duel! And also, she’s supposed to be EIGHT years old in this version!”“WHAT?!” gasped everyone.“Hmm,” Zane ‘hmm’ed.“Oh, Zane,” Blair sighed, “I guess you know now that I came to the school in disguise as an eighteen year-old boy who snuck into your room instead of Jaden and left a hair ornament and I fell in love with you the first time I met you huuuuuh?”“Right, at nationals,” Zane remembered.“No, not really.” Two years ago, Blair had stumbled into the nearby Convenience Mart™ to get some gum. SPEARMINT gum, to be exact. She walked over to the gum area and accidentally bumped into Zane Truesdale, who was wearing a ‘three wolf moon’ black t-shirt, khaki shorts, and an Ash Ketchum baseball cap! He was sipping some sort of root beer slushy. “Ahh!” she whimpered, falling to the floor.Zane crouched down to her level and placed his hand on her head, saying, “If you train really really hard, you can get into Duel Academy.” Then he walked out of the Convenience Mart™. “Hey, that kid didn’t pay for his drink!” a guy shouted! “No… wait.” He stared at Blair. “It was just a trick o’ the ol’ eyes! He was actually a LITTLE GIRL!!”“What?!” Blair looked at her hands. She was holding the slushy now! “Uh, it wasn’t me!”“Save it, chick. If you can’t do the time, then don’t do the crime.” Suddenly she was in miniature handcuffs and was taken away by police officers!…I LOVE bad boys, Blair blushed. “And after I spent my two years in jail for YOUR crime, I came after you! Like a stalker! Aren’t I cute?” Blair added a little wink.“Blair, I’m flattered by your sentiment,” Zane said courteously, “I’m only in love with one thing right now: dueling.” Alexis shot him a glance. “I’m sorry, but it’s time for you to go home.”“‘Go home’? So she’s NOT being tied up and placed in a raft to float adrift until she starves or something?” Koala Ko Ala asked.“No, of COURSE not, silly,” Alexis declined, “you heard what Syrus said. She’s plot-relevant. I wouldn’t tie her up and set her on a raft adrift, would I?” Two minutes later, Blair was simply pushed off on the crappy raft. “G’bye guys!” she bid. “YOU MEAN YOU’RE STILL DOING THIS?!”Syrus and Koala Ko Ala screeched!“Come on, I didn’t tie her up this time!”“Yo! See ya!” Jaden yelled! “You’re gonna be more useful when you come back, I know it!”“I love you, Zane and Jaden!”“Take care!”“Bye!” Suddenly Blair’s raft sprung a leak. “See ya next season, my loves!”“But her boat sprang a leak…” Syrus whimpered. “She’s not gonna make it, will she? Also, am I the only one worried that we just crossed the line maybe SIX times this episode?” “… Shut up, Syrus.” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Des ＨＥＲＯ Posted February 27, 2010 Report Share Posted February 27, 2010 Lol Cocoa Titan is their.Good one I can't wait for the 2nd part. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weather Report - Stand Posted February 27, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 27, 2010 I finished it! And it all gets even MORE disturbing!!Also, is the official post for redirection toward the chapters, as now my original list is repeatedly crashing at different places, from 15+, then again from 13+, and recently, I lost the links from episodes 12 and up. So, here we are now. [spoiler=Episodes]Character Guide - Episodes 1-26 (IN PROGRESS)Episode 2: Welcome to Duel AcademyEpisode 3: A Duel in LoveEpisode 4: Making the GradeEpisode 5: The Shadow Duelist - Part 1Episode 6: The Shadow Duelist - Part 2Episode 7: Duel and Unusual PunishmentEpisode 8: For the Sake of SyrusEpisode 9: A Spirit Summoned: A Special CrossoverEpisode 10: Family BusinessEpisode 11: Tag Team Trial: Part OneEpisode 12: Tag Team Trial - Part TwoEpisode 13: Formula for SuccessEpisode 14: Monkey See, Monkey DuelEpisode 15: Courting AlexisEpisode 16: The Duel GiantEpisode 17: Nature of the DrawEpisode 18: The King of Copycats - Part OneEpisode 19: The King of Copycats - Part TwoEpisode 20: The Maiden in LoveEpisode 21 - 22: The Duel OffEpisode 23: Get Yarr Game On!Episode 24: The New ChazzEpisode 25: The School Duel - Part OneEpisode 26: The School Duel - Part TwoEpisode 27: Duels on Duel Island (Fillers 1/6)Episode 28: More Duels on Duel Island (Fillers 2/6)Episode 29: Even More Duels on Duel Island (Fillers 3/6)Episode 30: Many More Duels on Duel Island (Fillers 4/6)Episode 31: One More Duel on Duel Island (Fillers 5/6! Almost there!)Episode 32: Farewell, Duel Island, Island of Duels (Fillers complete!!)Episode 33: Grave Risk - Part OneEpisode 34: Grave Risk - Part TwoEpisode 35: Doomsday Day - Part OneEpisode 36: Doomsday Day - Part TwoEpisode 37: Field of Screams - Part OneEpisode 38: Fear Factor: A Special CrossoverEpisode 39: Sibling RivalryEpisode 40: Duel Distractions - Part One (Part Two)Episode 41: Duel Distractions - Part TwoEpisode 42: The Dark ScorpionsEpisode 43: Field of Screams - Part Two Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Des ＨＥＲＯ Posted February 28, 2010 Report Share Posted February 28, 2010 I always remember season 2,it's just so fun with kind of tourney thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weather Report - Stand Posted February 28, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 28, 2010 I never watched season two, really, so I'm looking forward to ruining its plot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Star Posted February 28, 2010 Report Share Posted February 28, 2010 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weather Report - Stand Posted February 28, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 28, 2010 Hooray for a good grade and a well-written review! Thank you, Miz--I mean Star, and I hope that the later chapters will not be soul-crushingly disappointing to you. I had no idea that I made the story interesting, thanks for telling me that, I and even after all this time, chapter four would have to be my current magnum-opus. I recommend it to you due to the sheer amount of stupidity-based humor and irony. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Star Posted February 28, 2010 Report Share Posted February 28, 2010 Hooray for a good grade and a well-written review! Thank you' date=' Miz--I mean Star, and I hope that the later chapters will not be soul-crushingly disappointing to you. [i']I had no idea that I made the story interesting, thanks for telling me that[/i], I and even after all this time, chapter four would have to be my current magnum-opus. I recommend it to you due to the sheer amount of stupidity-based humor and irony. Detecting a hint of sarcasm there, but it could just be me. :P I think it's just a fun read, something that doesn't have a serious approach like mine (so far anyway) but it's good. I look forward to reading the next episode. I did post four on mine, by the way, if you wanna check that out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weather Report - Stand Posted March 1, 2010 Author Report Share Posted March 1, 2010 Okay, will do, and I wasn't being sarcastic back there. OR WAS I?! No, I wasn't, I was just trying to write the dumbest story I could. Thanks for telling me that without even trying I can make people fascinating! That SHUR takes SUM skill, I tell ya what... It's hard to think that in real life I need more self-confidence, isn't it...? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weather Report - Stand Posted March 7, 2010 Author Report Share Posted March 7, 2010 You know what I said about me needing two weeks to post two episodes together? I was kidding. [spoiler=Episodes 21 - 22: The Duel Off: FULL]Yu-Gi-Oh! GX! The Fan FicEpisodes Twenty-One to Twenty-Two: The Duel OffFULL It was morning! And you know what THAT means… INTENSE GUITAR SOLOS!! And as we were rocking out, we saw Ms. Dorothy leading a massive effort to deliver metric tons of card game supplies onto Duel Academy Island from a boat! “Alright, keep it moving!” she ordered a few men. “You know what happened LAST time we were late, the US Army got involved and those kids got involved with their murdering, and their slaying, and their greed, and their CRAZY ideas, and their Episode Four Making The Grades…” But then bubbles appeared in the water! Huh? WATER doesn’t make BUBBLES… or DOES IT?! She shrugged it off as a scuba diver escaped from the piers to the weird cliffy area of the island. “HUAH!!” he gasped, gulping in air, and taking off his scuba mask without air tank, which somehow allowed him to breathe the whole time! He had dusty brown hair tied up in the back, a scruffy, pointy chin, and the eyes of an ace reporter. “Great,” he sighed, “I’m finally at Duel Academy…” His name was Mann McOldsmobile. But who cares about that, as Crowler was somewhere in an office screaming “ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?!” It was at a table conference area thing with the eight other teachers at their school, making it even MORE confusing. “The school duel against North Academy is the most IMPORTANT thing EVAR!! So we should use Zane, not Jaden YUCKY or Bastion, though he SURE can duel a tie match, eheheheh.” Apparently Zane was in the room, and he was simply standing and doing nothing.“Well, Crowler,” Chancellor Shepherd reasoned, “Zane’s a good duelist, top-notch. But he CAN’T duel North Academy! Have you ever LISTENED to him?”Zane turned to Shepherd. “Of course, Chancellor,” Zane said.“See! Those people will think that WE’RE idiots, TOO! Therefore, we must send a person who actually has a clue about what they’re doing around here with a less-limited vocabulary.”“Jaden Yuki,” Zane said, in a matter-of-fact manner.“WHAAAAAAAAAT?!” Crowler gasped!“No, actually Bastion and Jaden are still dueling each other, no matter how obvious the result will be and it doesn’t matter how many times you say his name.”“I second that motion,” Professor Banner agreed.“MEOW, THIRD-ED,” meowed Garfield.“Did that cat just speak English?”“Chancellor, Jaden will make Duel Academy proud, trust me,” Zane promised.“Yeah yeah, shut up, you don’t matter, because you’re Syrus’ brother. Now let’s adjourn for Sammich Time.” Chancellor Shepherd snapped his fingers and the lights went off. The table opened up and let a Sammich tray slowly rise from wherever it was stored, complete with dry ice mist and cool disco lights from the ceiling.“Hm,” Zane smiled.“I know, right? Sammiches are great, why DID they never put them in the official release again?” Chancellor Shepherd shrugged as he took a bite. “Hm! Raspberry jam!” MEANWHILE, IN A HALLWAY…Mann McOldsmobile was creeping along the halls of Duel Academy until he found a storage room. He slipped inside, opened up a random locker, and pulled out a Slifer Red uniform. “There we go,” he sang, putting it on. And now that this useless scene is over, we cut to Jaden, picking his nose. “Really?” he asked, sitting in Professor Banner’s classroom with all of his classmates.“Yes, Jaden, and stop that. You will be dueling Bastion by the end of this episode. Alright?” Banner asked.“Sure, sure, I’m game.” Jaden pulled his finger out of his nostril forcefully and turned around. Bastion was sitting behind him! “Heh,” Jaden snickered.“Hm.” Bastion gave a light smile.“Now, time for class to end,” Banner announced. One screen-wipe later, class was over and Syrus-Koala Ko Ala tag-team-duo surrounded Jaden!“Are you excited?” Koala Ko Ala asked, giddily!“Are you too worried about losing to even move, thus gluing yourself to that desk for two days so that you miss the big duel?” Syrus asked, oddly.“Yo, no sweat!” Jaden sniffed. Suddenly, though, Bastion and his entourage walked over. Bastion adjusted his ‘Baseball King’ badge on his blue coat.“So Jaden, will you hold it against me if I win this one?” Bastion asked.“Gonna kick your ASS!!” roared Fluffy Fred!“You can actually WIN, Bastion?” Jaden asked.“Well, yes, and I promise you that I’ll try NOT to tie against you,” Bastion laughed. “You see, ever since I beat Chazz, I’ve been formulating the PERFECT deck to face your Elemental Hero monsters, so I CAN’T lose!”“An anti-E-Hero deck?! You mean Destiny Heroes, yo?”“No, no, not until Season Two! Anyways, bye now.” Bastion walked away.“See you, loser!” Piggybank insulted!“Uh, I have to say something before I’m forgotten,” Baseball Bob sighed. “Wow,” Syrus said, “he’s made an entire deck just to fight you. How do you feel?”“Like a bajillion smackaroos, yo!” Jaden cheered! “It’s gonna be a sticky match-up, and it’s gonna be two tons ‘a fun!”“That was the lamest thing I’ve heard you say so far!” Koala Ko Ala noticed.And meanwhile, by the door, as he was being showered with comments about how ‘great and awesome’ he was by his gang, Bastion thought seriously. Damn, if I tied this one, it’d go to Jaden, as he’s in a lower rank, explored when I dueled Chazz. But I NEED to win this one, in order to gain national attention and get rich quick for whatever reason! No matter what will happen to Jaden, I MUST win… A few seconds later, Mann McOldsmobile was walking through the hallway. He came upon two Obelisk Blues! “Yo, kids, what’s shakin’?” he greeted. The two Obelisk Blue kids looked at his uniform with intense attention to detail.“Outta the way, Slifer Slacker,” they grunted, coming to a conclusion, and pushed him away.“WHAT. DID. YOU. JUST. SAY?” he asked them threateningly.“Huh?” “Beat it, Slifer Sludge,” grunted a Ra Yellow guy who bumped into Mann McOldsmobile. Then something snapped. The three didn’t know what hit them. Just then, Jaden and friends walked by! “Oh, it’s a new kid!” Jaden noticed! “New OLD kid!”“WAAAAAAAAH!!” screamed Koala Ko Ala and Syrus! They had just walked into a scene straight out of a nightmare, as the Obelisk Blue guys were ripped apart at the torsos, their intestines strewn across the floors, and their organs thrown carelessly about. One’s head was smashed open upon the floor, and his brains were spread on the wall, spelling out ‘NO YOU GET OUT OF THE WAY’. The other’s arms were clearly missing. Mann McOldsmobile was holding the Ra Yellow kid by the head and shoulders, and the poor guy was already missing a leg cut clean at the hip, and his chest had a gaping hole in it.“Please, no! I’m sorry!” he panted, toeing the line between life and death very dangerously.“YOU DON’T REALLY MEAN IT, DO YOU NOW?” Mann McOldsmobile cruelly laughed, ripping the child’s head off of his neck.“My name’s Jaden! Nice ‘ta meet’cha, bud!” greeted Jaden, courteously! Mann McOldsmobile suddenly became a regular person again.“Hi!” They shook hands, getting Jaden’s hand covered in blood.“Yo, my hand’s covered in blood! Now I’m REALLY Slifer Red, hahaha!”“Jaden, he just decapitated a boy in front of your eyes,” Syrus said.“I don’t JUDGE people by the PAST, I do it by the PRESENT, yo!”“It JUST HAPPENED, and a few seconds ago it WAS the present!”“M’name’s Mann McOldsmobile, and the car model was NOT named after my family!” Mann McOldsmobile introduced. “It was named after the Oldsmobiles, by the way. I was supposed to come here a few days ago, but some weird kid pushed me off the boat… He flashed back to a nice day on a ship. “I’m GOIN’ to DUEL ACADEMY!!” he cheered triumphantly, adjusting his red coat! “No you’re not!” Blair shouted! She ripped the coat off of him and threw him into the ocean! She put it on and picked up a familiar hat. “Now I can LEGALLY enter Duel Academy in his place! Yay for getting to Zane!”“AHH!! Good thing I brought my SCUBA MASK!! Glub glub glub…” “And THAT’S why I has to swim for two days to get to Duel Academy,” he concluded. “Why’re you in your thirties, and why did you kill those people for insulting you?” Koala Ko Ala asked, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. “Oh, I’m really just eighteen, and I’m a sophomore,” Mann McOldsmobile said, rubbing the back of his head. “I just LOOK really old. And I’ve been held back four times so far because I keep killing kids. So I thought, ‘why not just go to the school with the LEAST harsh ‘Don’t Kill Kids’ policy in town?’ And here I am!”“You really ARE scary,” Syrus shivered. Suddenly, his watch he’s never worn before and will never wear again beeped uncontrollably! “Oh crap, it’s suddenly six o’clock, the universal dinner time hour! We GOTTA get dinner NOW!!”“Come on, I know a shortcut!” Jaden shouted, leading the way! There was a simple screen transition, and then they were inside the Slifer Toolshed! “Wow, that WAS a shortcut!” Mann McOldsmobile chuckled! Then he looked down at his plate, consisting of: two sardines, a baby corn, a miniature bowl of rice, an even smaller bowl of soup, and an empty cup. “Aw, man, is this REALLY dinner?!”“Yep!” Jaden told. “And no, you don’t get a drink. You’re supposed to eat the cup. For reals, yo.”“He’s right,” Banner said, approaching while crunching a cup in his mouth. “Who are you, new student?”“Oh, uh, eh, ih, erm, oh…”“Actually,” Syrus stepped in, placing a hand on his shoulder, “Blair metamorphosed into this guy and is the same person. Yes.”“Oh, well see you later, Neo-Blair,” Banner waved, walking in another direction. “Are there any cups left over? I’m still hungry.”“Wow, thanks for helping me from having to explain something for myself, kid!” Mann McOldsmobile thanked. “Well it’s better to be friends than being hunted down by the obviously competitively superior one here,” Syrus syed. Not much later, it was late at night, and Mann McOldsmobile was now inside of Jaden’s Syrus’s Koala Ko Ala’s room. Jaden had his whole deck laid out in front of him, and he stared at it intently. “Your deck’s lookin’ good, Jay,” Syrus complimented.“Thanks.”“What’s going on here?” Mann McOldsmobile asked. “Oh, he’s having the most important duel of his life until now tomorrow and he needs to check out his cards,” Syrus informed.“WHAT?! This is a CARD GAME HIGH SCHOOL?!” Mann McOldsmoblie freaked out, placing his hands on both sides of his head!“Well, duh.”“ANYWAYS, I wonder what kinds ‘a heat Bastion’s packin’ for tomorrow, yo,” Jaden sighed.“Well we’d better get ready for it soon,” Syrus said.“Well guys, I’m tired, so which bunk can I have?” asked Mann McOldsmobile.“I get the bottom, and Koala Ko Ala gets the top,” Syrus reminded.“And I get ‘da floor!” Jaden cheerfully informed.“Darn, I love the floor,” mumbled Mann McOldsmobile.“Wait,” Koala Ko Ala urged, climbing onto the top bunk. He slid some sort of compartment out from the side of his upper-bunk, and out came a THIRD bed in a very dangerous-looking position!“Wow! Thanks, kid!” thanked Mann McOldsmobile, his eyes glimmering! Suddenly his eyes drifted over to a copy of Skyscraper lying on the ground. “Huh… Skyscraper…” “Yeah, I run a deck on it, yo!” Jaden said.The reason I gasped overreactively when I was told this was a card game school… he thought. He flashed back once again to a cool, painted picture of him standing in a Skyscraper field area with a Duel Disk. And in a second frame, he drew his card! A third picture revealed him getting blasted by a random dragon of some sort, and a fourth and final picture showed him on the floor under a spotlight, as melodramatic cherry blossom petals drifted onto him in a comical manner.“Hey, is that your favorite card?” Jaden asked.“NO… IT’S MY LEAST FAVORITE CARD!!” He threw the Field Spell SO hard into the carpet that it shattered into eight pieces!“NOOOO… well, I have another,” Jaden said, placing his second copy into his deck. “Why are you so against it?”“Because I lost a card game once and I never played it again because I was so pissed off. I just came here due to the badly-made rules of the academy,” Mann McOldsmobile reminded.“That reminded me of the time we went to the abandoned dorm where kids were rumored to disappear due to them losing interest in dueling!” Koala Ko Ala reminisced. “Abandoned dorm, huh?” Mann McOldsmobile asked, diving deeper into their society! “Yeah, we met lotsa chicks there. And TWO murderers!” Koala Ko Ala remembered.“Oh yeah, I remember the murderers!” Syrus said. “And the guy with the Darkwing Duck hat!”“He was a LAME magician,” Jaden groaned, puffing out his cheeks.“Well time for bed,” Mann McOldsmobile decided, snuggling up in his new third-bunk-bunk-bed. “G’night!” the kids said, cutting off the lights and getting into their respective areas. Lotsa chicks, eh? Mann McOldsmobile plotted. Suddenly his bunk broke off of the main bed and crushed Jaden. Time to meet some ladies! Mann McOldsmobile walked out of the room and onto the Slifer Toolshed deck, bumping into Crowler, who was using a cup pressed to its ear to hear through the walls.“Wah!” Mann McOldsmobile gasped! “Who’re you?!”“Shut up and go away,” Crowler shoo-ed, “I’m plotting evil things.”This lady’s CRAZY!! Or man. Let’s get OUTER here!! Mann McOldsmobie fled! MEANWHILE, BY A DECAYING BUILDING…Alexis, Angry McArgue, and Nancy Wut placed roses by their favorite abandoned building. “Take care,” said Alexis.“Be safe,” Angry McArgue said.“We haven’t had much screentime lately, have we?” Nancy Wut wondered.“You’re right!” Angry McArgue agreed.“Hey, he was right! Chicks!” Mann McOldsmobile entered the scene!“Ew he’s gross and old!” Angry McArgue gasped!“OH NOES!!” Nancy Wut screamed!“No, I’m eighteen, I swear!” He took out a driver’s license from his wallet. It said it was issued in 1974. “Crap, I got dad’s license by mistake!” “Let’s get out of here, girls,” Alexis ordered, “this guy can’t be trusted. He’s got a license that says he’s AT LEAST thirty.” The three girls briskly walked away.“Aw… BUT I SHALL NOT GIVE UP!!” Mann McOldsmobile reckoned!“Hey, that’s MY gig!” Shades Milligan growled, walking out from the shadows!“Why are you wearing shades at night?!” Mann McOldsmobile asked, fearful for his life!“I’m a cyborg. And I’ve got my robo-eyes on you. Stay away from she-who-shall-soon-be-my-girlfriend, you hear me?” Shades Milligan flew away using his rocket thrusters carefully placed in his shoes.“…Well, I guess this scene was entirely pointless,” Mann McOldsmobile decided. MEANWHILE, IN THE ROOM OF A GANG LEADER…Bastion was in his cool Obelisk Blue room, on the computer, while his three followers were strewn out on his massive bed, sleeping. Bastion’s computer was covered in white paint, even the screen. “This is the LAST time I’m letting those people paint my stuff,” Bastion growled. He could barely make out images of Flame Wingman and Thunder Giant on his ruined screen. “If I’m to beat Jaden tomorrow, I have to figure out the science behind his monsters,” he self-narrated, “and that means I have to be able to take out Avian and Burstinatrix before he can summon his trump card, Flame Wingman. But then, there’s his other main monster, Thunder Giant. I need to kill Clayman and Sparkman as well. But how…? How do I take care of his main monsters before he summons them? “Wait… I’ve got it.” Bastion leaned back in his chair! “All I need is ‘that’ card, and I’ve automatically won! But… do I REALLY want to WIN this?”There was another flashback, of Bastion living in England. He was a much younger boy, and he was just about to finish up a duel against a little school friend of his along the River Thames!! “Now, Automatic Steamboat, attack him directly!” he ordered, as a steamboat with robot legs stomped all over his opponent.“AAAAAH,” screamed the boy. (Bastion’s Friend: 0 Life Points, Game Over) “That was a great game, Bastion,” the kid congratulated.“Heh, thanks, random friend of mine,” Bastion thanked courteously. Suddenly, there was a massive disturbance in the air. A meteor fell from the sky RIGHT on top of his old buddy, killing him instantly!“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” Bastion cried! And so he went to the funeral, located next to the scenic London Eye Ferris wheel.. There was much crying. A mysterious lady walked up to Bastion with a Duel Disk, and she had obviously been crying recently, dressed in black. “Hey kid,” she sniffled, “the best way to get over a relative or friend’s death… is with a card game!”“Alright,” Bastion agreed, taking a Duel Disk out from nowhere, in his funeral suit! ************ “Now, Manatee Roadrage, attack her directly!” Bastion ordered, as a manatee gangster ran over the lady in his car.“Ugh!” the lady groaned! (Some Lady: 0 Life Points, Game Over) “Thank you, I think I feel better now,” the lady thanked Bastion.“You’re welcome,” Bastion said. But then suddenly, the London Eye wiggled and wobbled dangerously! It rolled off of its foundations and right over the lady, killing her instantly! “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” Bastion cried! And so, he went to her funeral, located on the top of Big Ben. There was much crying and suffering. Then the most important man in England walked up to the young lad. “Aye, lad,” he told him, “that woman was my granddaughter, and she used to be such a good duelist,”“She was,” Bastion agreed.“Now, what’s you say to a memorial duel in her honor?” the most important man in England proposed.“That sounds good,” Bastion agreed, uncertain. ********** “Now, attack him directly, Laser Beam Rodent!” Bastion ordered! His large, purple rat fired laser beams at the most important man in England!“Ugh!” the most important man in England grunted! (the most important man in England: 0 Life Points, Game Over) “Lad, that was a great game,” the most important man in England said, “I’m sure my granddaughter can rest in peace now…” But as soon as he’d said that, something was wrong. Something was REALLY wrong. The Eiffel Tower came hurtling down from the stratosphere and impaled the most important man in England! “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” Bastion cried! The other mourners all turned to Bastion!“’Ey!” a guy shouted! “He just killed the most important man in England through winnin’ a card game! He’s bad luck!”“No, no I’m not!” Bastion whimpered!“He’s killed three people!”“A POX UPON THEE!”“Where’d the Eiffel Tower come from?”Suddenly, a massive crowd holding torches and pitchforks arrived on the scene! “Hey, let’s kill this bloody child before he duels us ALL!!” they suggested!“YEAH, LET’S KILL’M!!” The crowd steadily advanced around the Eiffel Tower as Bastion’s parents, who are pretty un-described, came to him with a hang glider! “Hang on!” Bastion’s dad said, grabbing his boy and his wife! They leaped off the clock tower and sailed into the skies.“What’re we going to do now, dad and mum?” Bastion asked, teary-eyed.“Isn’t it obvious?” asked his mom. “We’re escaping to Japan in order to avoid prosecution! Now hurry, learn Japanese before we land, okay, son?”“But what if someone asks me to duel there?” Bastion asked.“Well, just don’t duel them!” his mom suggested.“Now honey,” Bastion’s dad disagreed, “there’s five things you don’t mess with in Japan. Number one: cherry blossoms. Two: tea. Three: sushi. Four: Evangelion and its many, many spin-offs, and number five: trading card games. We don’t want the other kids to say he’s a freak because he doesn’t play card games, right?”“Oh,” Bastion’s mom understood suddenly. “Then why don’t you just play tie matches against everyone you meet? That will get you undivided respect, right?”“But people will think I’m an idiot,” Bastion said.“It’s better than losing and killing people, right?” said his mother, as they glided over Russia. It’s better than losing and killing people, right? The words rang clearly in his head as if his mom had just said it again herself. “But do I really want to lose this match? Am I REALLY as GREEDY to gamble the life of my close friend in order to gain the respect of the world? Eh, yeah.” Bastion turned off his computer and went to sleep with no regrets. THE! NEXT!! MORNING!!!“Awright, y’all! Getcho’ eat on!!”“BOO,” someone said.Jaden (who was wrapped tightly in bandages) and his friends were in the Slifer Toolshed eating area for breakfast!“Does that happen EVERY time?” Mann McOldsmobile asked.“Yep,” responded Koala Ko Ala.“Just don’t eat too much, ‘kay?” Syrus suggested. “We DON’T want you getting real full, then becoming really stressed out during the match so that you explode, showering the audience with breakfast food!”“That’ll never happen,” Mann McOldsmobile shrugged. “No, Syrus DOES have a point,” Jaden said, removing his useless bandages. “And just because I was crushed by an incredibly heavy bed DOES NOT mean I’m injured!” Suddenly his right arm fell off. “Ignore that,” he suggested, screwing it back on. LATER! THAT!! DAY!!!The Duel Dome was flooded with light. The crowd was excited as excited as some guy who was incredibly excited, don’cha know. And in the center of it all… was Crowler. “ALRIGHT, STUDENTS,” it announced, “TODAY IS THAT DAY YOU’VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR, THE GAME TO DECIDE WHO SHALL FACE OUR RIVALS WHOM WE’VE NEVER SPOKEN OF BEFORE THIS VERY WEEK!!!”“Shut up, we know!” a rude kid shouted.“If it’s so blindingly bright, why does it have to be CROWLER that we can only see?” a girl yelled.“Blah blah blah blah blah!” another kid said, supporting the last statement.“Ugh, fine.” The lights went out and the Duel Dome was normal again. “So Bastion versus Jaden Yucky. Let the game begin.” At one end of the arena stood Bastion. At the other was Jaden. “WE LOVE YOU BASTION XXOO LOVE KISS MWUH!!” screamed several supporters.“Uh, Jaden’s… kinda cool!” shouted back Jaden’s very few fans.“I wish ya luck pal yo!” Jaden said.“I appreciate it,” Bastion said, uncomfortable with what he must do, “but I’ve spent the entire night figuring out the science behind your deck. So get ready to lose.” Both duelists held out their Duel Disks. “I’M COMMIN’ AT ‘CHA!!” Meanwhile, Mann McOldsmobile ran around the halls past the entrance to the Duel Dome. “Crap, where’s that big duel being held again?” he wondered aloud. “I’m totally lost!” He entered the library, which nobody really EVER used, and ran up to a computer. “Okay, I think I can use this thing to figure out where the duel is!” he realized! He grinned evilly as he woke a computer out of sleep mode, prompting him to stare at a ‘DA’ background and ‘enter your password’ into a small box. He entered a few digits in. “Password denied.”His expression turned from creepy glee to despair. “AAAAAUGH, I DON’T HAVE A PASSWOOOOORD!!” “GET YOUR GAME ON!!” Jaden ordered!“BOO,” someone said!“DUEL!!” Bastion shouted! (Bastion: 4000 Life Points, Jaden: 4000 Life Points)And so the intense dueling action was kicked off forcefully by intense music you WISH you had as your theme song!! “I summon Carbongeddon in Defense Mode!!” Bastion said, playing a weird dinosaur constructed out of carbon and carbon byproducts! (Carbongeddon: 600 Defense Points) “Your move!”“Is that ALL? I summon Burstinatrix!” Jaden shouted, slightly one-upping Bastion.“Hooyah!” shouted Burstinatrix, arriving in fiery glory! (Burstinatrix: 1200 Attack Points)“Now, attack!!” Jaden ordered, in an intensely useless pose! Burstinatrix took on the pose, by stretching her arm out far further than human physically should be able to, making Carbongeddon explode somehow! “Then I’ll THROW DOWN a FACE-DOWN and end my turn, G!” Jaden finished, setting a card.“BOO,” someone said. “Well, Jaden, I’ll just summon Oxygeddon!” Bastion released a pterodactyl created out of pure windy energy onto the field, laughing in the face of logic! (Oxygeddon: 1800 Attack Points) “Kill Burstinatrix!”“No way, Joes! I activate Hero Barrier!” Jaden’s Trap flipped up, featuring a weird windy barrier covered in electricity! “I get to negate your attack now!” A giant ‘H’ appeared, scaring off Oxygeddon.“An ‘H’, well played,” complimented Bastion. He looked at his hand. But do I really want to play this card? Yeah, kinda. “I’ll set a card and end my turn,” Bastion said, placing down the card that will seal Jaden’s fate forever!! “Who cares, I Summon Sparkman and give him Sparkman’s Gun!” Jaden shouted! Sparkman flew onto the scene, holding his lucky pistol! (Sparkman: 1600 Attack Points)“The gun, too?” gasped Syrus! “He’s REALLY pulling out all stops!”“Shoot ‘dat dino, man!” Jaden said. Sparkman did as he was told, shooting Oxygeddon, who was forced into Defense Mode to lick its wounds. (Oxygeddon: 800 Defense Points) “And now, with no care for that guy’s effect, Burstinatrix! Use Magma Comet!” Burstinatrix forced some flames into a hard sphere of heat, which was flung at the windy dinosaur!Just like the meteor that killed my random friend, Bastion remembered. “Sorry, but when my Oxygeddon is killed by fire, we BOTH take 800 points of damage, due to oxygen and fire and whatnot!”“Holy yo! THAT ain’t good!” The fireball of fury bounced off of Oxygeddon, prompting a FLAMING ARMAGEDDON!! The entire Duel Dome was consumed in flaming rage! Several spectators caught on fire due to the holograms! (Bastion: 3200 Life Points, Jaden: 3200 Life Points) “Who cares, yo! You’re wide open! Attack him directly, Sparkman!” Sparkman aimed and shot Bastion with a bullet charged with electrical electricity!Just like my life-ending direct attacks… Bastion thought. Too many memories. (Bastion: 1600 Life Points) Meanwhile, in the stands, as a few kids ran around screaming due to being on fire, Chancellor Shepherd was sitting near Crowler and Professor Banner. See, I don’t call it ‘Professor Crowler’ because it’s a big immature jerk, right? “Boy, Jaden SURE was a good choice there, huh, Banner?” asked Chancellor Shepherd.“Zane was right,” Banner agreed, “and Jaden DOES have a kickass theme song.”“I GET IT ALREADY,” Crowler groaned. “So, Bastion, you’ve got two monsters starin’ you down,” Jaden said, pointing to Burstinatrix and Sparkman. “Will you A: Throw in the towel, B: Beg for mercy, or C: Run home to momma?”“I’ll take D;” Bastion answered in his thick, British accent, “you’re an idiot! Stop copying other stupid people! I just DARE you to use Polymerization, Jaden!”“Dah, sounds good to me!”Now once he uses that, Bastion thought, I can dominate. There’s still time to make up my mind about it, but not right now. “I summon Hydrogeddon and attack Burstinatrix!” A large spray of brown, muddy water splooshed up under Burstinatrix like a geyser, blowing her up, and then flying onto Bastion’s field to form the cool dinosaur we like better than the other two, yeah! (Jaden: 2800 Life Points) “Now I’ll summon a second one from my deck, as I killed Burstinatrix,” Bastion added, allowing a second Hydrogeddon to bubble up from the depths, “and I’ll play an Equip Spell called Living Fossil!” A picture of a gentleman dinosaur hittin’ the nightclubs appeared on the card! “I can summon Oxygeddon back from the Graveyard and equip it with this!” Oxygeddon appeared out of nowhere, wearing a top hat and monocle now! “Then I’ll use Bonding – H2O, like when I dueled Chazz!”“Oh crap yo!” Jaden gasped!“I tribute my three monsters in order to summon Water Dragon!” The three dinosaurs swirled together and turned into the remarkable awesome serpent made of gushing, swirling water! It towered over puny Sparkman, causing him to drop his Sparkman’s Gun in surprise. (Water Dragon: 2800 Attack Points) “Ah! Yo, Sparkman! Pick that gun back up now!” Jaden ordered! “We can beat that thing, okay?” Sparkman picked his gun back up, symbolizing trust… “HAH! I knew Bastion would beat Jaden,” Crowler huffed. “In your faces,” it told Banner and Shepherd.“I’m your boss, you know, so I can fire you, y’know.”“Oh yeah…” “How’ll Jaden beat THAT thing?!” Syrus screamed! “This is IMPOSSIBLE!! IT’S GAME OVER!! AUGH, I’M IN DESPAIR! JADEN WILL NEVER BEAT THAT THING!!”“SHUT UP, I’M STILL ON FIRE!!” Koala Ko Ala screamed, trying to beat out his flaming shoulders! “Well, you asked for it, so I’ll use… POLYMERIZATION!!” Jaden roared, holding out Avian and Bubbleman!This is it. As the weird tornado portal thing opened up, eating up the three monsters, and as Avian waved hello, Bastion waved his arm. “I activate my Trap card, Cursed Spell of Sealing!!” An evil-looking yellow pattern on the card was spewing out purple waves of energy… which spread onto the field, consuming the Polymerization portal!“OH NO!!” screamed Avian! “‘Oh no’ is right,” Bastion acknowledged, “as now your Polymerization is negated, and if I discard a Spell card, your Polymerization cards CANNOT be activated for the whole duel.” He placed a random Spell into the Graveyard. All at once, the portal imploded and Jaden’s deck spat out his other two Polymerization cards!“No, that’s umpossible!” Jaden cried! “I ALWAYS use Polymerization!!”“Too bad,” Bastion snickered, “because this time, I’M winning. I’ve used several hours of sleepless nights pondering the way to stopping you from pulling off an impressive, random, asspull-ish comeback! And it came to me last night! The science of your deck revolves COMPLETELY around your usage of Polymerization, Flame Wingman, and Thunder Giant! Plus the other ones I don’t care much about. And now, I SHALL win this game, showing to you ALL that I am NOT stupid, and I CAN win a card game!!” “Heh, you spent HOURS trying to figure that out, Bastion?” Jaden laughed. “Even I knew that if I were to duel myself, I’d have to deal with getting rid of those fusions! You’re STILL an idiot!”“Oh,” Bastion groaned, slumping over. “But if I’m an idiot, then why is YOUR deck completely useless now?”“Naw, dude, it’s NOT useless!” Jaden disagreed! “Because you see here,” Jaden continued, holding out his Duel Disk, “there are SEVERAL other monsters in this baby who are MORE than ready, willin’ and able to kick your ass! I can STILL win this thing, as long as I believe in my last name!!”“What’s he talking about?” Syrus wondered. “Wait… oh yeah, ‘Yu’! As in, ‘Yu-Gi-Oh’! And ‘Yugi’ Muto! And Jaden Yuki! Why didn’t I really pay attention to it earlier, unlike Alexis?!”“I’M STILL ON FIRE!!” screamed Koala Ko Ala.“And so,” Jaden said, allowing a great, blinding light to glow behind himself, “I believe. Go ahead, Bastion. Just TRY it, I’ll out-do you two-fold, yo. GET YOUR GAME ON.”“BOO,” someone said. TO BE CONTINUED… MEANWHILE, AT THAT PLACE, ON THAT CHANNEL!!Earlier in the day, Jaden and bros were watching television. “So Jaden, that was SOME breakfast, I tell ‘ya what!” Syrus syed contentedly, rubbing his tummy and telling us about when this took place. “Are you ready to beat Bastion?”“SHH!! This commercial! It’s cool!” Jaden commanded, staring hard at the TV!“What is it?” asked Mann McOldsmobile.“Oh, he’s just commercial-crazy,” Koala Ko Ala explained, “these days he’ll get ANYTHING they tell him to.” Cool music started as Tengu Man from the original Mega Man game series appeared in front of an exciting background! “HEY!” he called, in a vaguely Spanish accent. “Do YOU want to be like THIS?!”The screen cut to a kid. Then the kid was crushed as an airplane plowed into the ground. “NO, you do NOT want to be like THAT!” Tengu Man assured. “Do you want to be like THIS guy?” It cut to a famous movie clip. Tetsuo Kaga stood on top an airplane, which had a flaming wing and was headed straight for Mount Everest! “The only thing that truly matters…is shogi!” He laughed maniacally as the plane rapidly surpassed the sound barrier and he was burned to cinders. “Do you wanna be like THAT guy? NOOOO!!” shouted Tengu Man! “And if you DON’T want to be like those two guys, then buy Tengu Man Airplane Insurance. “ It cut to another random kid.“I don’t wanna be like those two,” he stated, just before being crushed by an airplane.“Well then, BUY IT!!” Tengu Man stressed! “See, here’s how it works. You buy it, you get hit by an airplane, and then we give you hospital fees. Now, how much does it cost? Only one payment of one million dollars. It cut to a DRAMATIC LOOK CHIPMUNK meme, where at the end a speech bubble appeared next to the groundhog-thing saying, ‘WOAH! That’s a lotta dineros!’ “DON’T worry, everyone, because when you get injured, we pay you one million dollars, and a penny,” Tengu Man said.“WHAT?!” screamed a guy.“Yes, and one penny!”“It’s SO worth it!” screamed a lady! Then she was hit by an airplane.“Oh, so sad, she didn’t buy airplane insurance yet,” Tengu Man tsked. “But you CAN!! All you have to do is call 1800-TEN-GUMA….N… and we’ll send you the information you need to get what you deserve after your horrific airplane injuries. So call now!” The ad ended with a blue screen, the phone number, and the Tengu Man’s Airplane Insurance logo. “Even IF there’s a small chance of this happening to you,” said an announcer, “would YOU like to take that chance? Call today!” “That was so dumb,” Koala Ko Ala said disapprovingly.“When would you EVER get hit by an airplane?” Syrus asked. “I mean, my statistics I got outta nowhere says there’s a one-in-a really high number chances of you getting hit by an airplane!”“Was that Tengu Man?!” Old McOldsmobile asked, confused.“Where’s my million dollars?” wondered Jaden, as he held up his YugiNavi™ and looked around the room for his million dollars. Yu-Gi-Oh! GX! The Fan FicEpisodes Twenty-One to Twenty-Two: The Duel OffFULL The bright light behind Jaden faded away quickly, leaving Jaden feeling badly. “Oh crap, mah theme song’s over…”“AND MINE IS JUST BEGINNING!!” Bastion shouted!But that doesn’t matter much, as we cut to the library again as Mann McOldsmobile was still in the library, struggling with the computer. “If I could just crack this code, I can figure out where the duel’s taking place!” he said, for no real reason. Suddenly, it worked! He was logged in! “Yes, I’m in!!” he cheered! A cool graphic of the three Slifer-Ra-Obelisk dudes flew by the screen before he was on Internet Explorer. “Okay, now to look up the duel’s location,” Mann McOldsmobile plotted… until he got a Blue Screen of Death. “Aw crap!!” he grunted, as a widescreen television behind him played the duel in progress. All Jaden had was Sparkman and Avian on his side, while Bastion had Water Dragon. Things didn’t look good for him. “I’ll put Sparkman into Defense Mode and end my turn,” Jaden said, finishing up. (Sparkman: 1400 Defense Mode)“Well I’ll play the Mathamagician!!” Bastion summoned a weird old scholarly man with a staff!“HMMMMMMM-hmm!!” he hummed. (Mathamagician: 1500 Attack Points) “What a DUMB guy!” Jaden chuckled.“Well, when he’s summoned, his SMART ability discards the top card of my deck, and when he’s killed in battle, I can add ANY card from my deck to my hand!” Bastion said, discarding his card. “And now, destroy his monsters!!” Water Dragon reared up and spat a colossal amount of water at Sparkman, while Mathamagician shot numbers at Avian!“I never liked math!” Avian cried! They both exploded.“Aw man,” Jaden groaned. Meanwhile, Mann McOldsmobile was walking around the halls. “I give up, I can’t find it,” he cried! Suddenly he remembered. The duel’s at the Duel Dome! Jaden had told him right before they left to see it. The Duel Dome, yo! Jaden said as they walked over to the Duel Dome. DUUUUUEL DOOOOME!! Jaden laughed, as they all walked into the Duel Dome. “Now HOW did I forget where it was if I was in there a few minutes ago?” he asked himself, as he walked past the entrance. “I end my turn Jaden,” Bastion told his opponent.“Good, because I just drew Mirage of Nightmare!” Jaden announced, drawing a card of a man screaming at some mummies.“Well, that’s good, I guess.”“And I summon Bubbleman!” Jaden added, summoning Bubbleman, the dumb Batman! (Bubbleman: 800 Attack Points) “When he’s the only card on my side of the field, I can draw two cards, and I’ll also equip him with Bubbleman’s Bazooka!” Bubbleman magically regained his awesome bazooka! (Bubbleman: 1600 Attack Points) “Kill that dumb old guy!” Bubbleman shot a giant water droplet at the Mathamagician with intense effort!“OO-haaah!!” the guy screamed, blowing up. (Bastion: 1500 Life Points)“Well, I get my new card now, Jaden!” Bastion celebrated, getting a cool new card!“Well I can top THAT with TWO face-downs!” Jaden raged, setting TWO cards face down! “I’ll also play Mirage of Nightmare and end it here! Even if you take away my Fusion monsters, I come right back at ‘ya, like Kirby or something!”“From Nintendo?”“That’s the one!”“BOO,” someone said.“Well he’s copyrighted! Don’t you see, I don’t CARE how many speeches you make, I’ll STILL defeat you!” Bastion drew a card, thus causing Mirage of Nightmare to glow! “What’s this?!”“When your turn begins, Mirage of Nightmare gets me four cards, Bastion! Then I’ll use my face-down, Emergency Provisions!” His kipper and cracker snack card appeared! “I’ll get rid of my Mirage of Nightmare to gain 1000 Life Points!” The card’s image turned into a cracker, which he promptly ate up. “Yum.” (Jaden: 3800 Life Points) “Who cares? I said I’d figured out the science behind your deck a LONG time ago. I play Pot of Greed!” Bastion sent his card into the Graveyard and drew his two new cards. “Furthermore, I’ve discarded ten cards since I played Carbongeddon, allowing me to use its special ability! By removing him from play now, I can summon the diamond dragon, Hyozanryu!!” And from nowhere appeared a dragon covered in diamonds! “RYAAAAAAGH!!” he screeched! (Hyozanryu: 2100 Attack Points)“Both of you! Kill his bazooka and Bubbleman!” Bastion’s diamond dragon somehow EXHALED a giant pile of diamonds at Bubbleman and his weapon, destroying it! (Bubbleman: 800 Attack Points) Then came Water Dragon’s assault. Another massive stream of watery damnation came crashing down upon Bubbleman, killing him with his own element! (Jaden: 1800 Life Points) “I use Hero Signal!” Jaden shouted, flipping his Trap card face-up! A huge ‘H’ appeared, similar to earlier! The monsters were held spellbound by it! “I’ll summon an Elemental Hero from my deck! Come on out, Clayman!” And from his deck appeared Clayman, looking as round as ever.“Well then, my friend, I’ll end my turn with one card face-down,” Bastion concluded. “My turn’s just beginning!!” Jaden yelled, drawing just the card he needed. “I activate the Warrior Returning Alive!” Jaden said, as Bubbleman came back from the dead! “Next I use Bubble Shuffle! It changes the positions of both Bubbleman and one of your monsters to Defense Mode!”“Darn, that’s just what he needed!” Bastion realized! His giant awesome dragon and the stupid-looking guy ducked down into Defense Mode as a giant whirlwind constructed from a bunch of bubbles surrounded Bubbleman!“I guess that means you know what else it does, right?” Jaden checked. “I now use the effect to tribute Bubbleman in order to summon Elemental Hero Bladedge from my hand!” And at once the whirling bubbles disappeared and Bubbleman was gone, replaced with Bladedge, the golden blade hero! (Bladedge: 2600 Attack Points)“He’s PULSE-POUNDINGLY AWESOME!!” Syrus gasped, spitting up blood!“AND HE’S EVEN BETTER AFTER I PLAY SKYSCRAPER!!” Jaden roared, playing his favorite Field card! Towers of all shapes (as long as they were rectangular) and sizes (as long as they were tall) grew out of the floor, just like magic! “Now, whenever my monster fights a stronger guy, they gain 1000 Attack Points, yo!” Bladedge geared up for battle, conquest and women as he gained the city beat of the city street! “Kill Water Dragon now, with Slice ’n Dice Attack!!” Jaden shouted! Bladedge’s back-blades automatically became a jetpack! How extreme! With the speed of a really cool, fast, blade-themed man, he flew through the business district of Skyscraper City, and collided with Water Dragon! Pushing through with all his might, the Water Dragon exploded. “No!!” Bastion cried! (Bastion: 500 Life Points) “Argh, this isn’t too good.”“ROOOOOOOOOOOAR!!” roared the crowd, deafening several poor people!“Yeah, baby!” Jaden shouted! “I’m IN IT to WIN IT!! And I’m winning it! Aren’t I great?”“Not yet, you aren’t!” Bastion took three guys out from his Graveyard!“What’re you doin’, yo?” Jaden asked, confused!“When Water Dragon is defeated, I can bring back my three original monsters onto the field!” Bastion laid out his three cool dudes! (Oxygeddon, Hydrogeddon 1, and Hydrogeddon 2: 800 and 1000 Defense Points, respectively) “Next I’ll activate a Trap card called Last Magnet!” Bastion’s newest card featured some idiot knight getting hit by a giant magnet in a comical fashion.“That knight’s an idiot!” Jaden gasped!“Just think of Bladedge as that knight.”“Okay… wait! He’s not an idiot!” “Not yet!” warned Bastion! “When one of my monsters is killed, the attacker is hit by a magnet in a comical fashion and loses 800 Attack Points!” Out of thin air, a large magnet appeared over Bladedge! He looked up and sweated profusely as the magnet fell, emitting a whistling sound, and bonked him so hard that he became stuck into the ground.“Ha ha, that was funny!” an audience member laughed.“Just like in the cartoons!” another person said.“GO BASTION YOU RULE LOL!!” screamed Piggybank, much to everyone’s dismay.Wow, the audience really likes me! Bastion gasped, mentally, happy to be noticed positively! As long as this isn’t a tie matchup, then they’ll REALLY stop thinking I’m an idiot! 4 realz, yo! I’m diggin’ it! “Gat’ dangit, that IS pretty funny!” Jaden roared! “But not when I use my Clayman in order to attack, leaving him completely unguarded next turn AND a sitting duck to BOOT!” Elemental Hero Clayman grunted as a flamin’ background filled him with enough strength to gain decent stats! (Clayman: 1800 Attack Points) “Now, attack with Clay Clobbererer…er…er.” Clayman ZOOOOOMED forward, as if his feet were roller skates that he had no knowledge of control over! He came to a halt in front of Oxygeddon and CLOBBERED him or it in the jaw! Or maybe that was a female dinosaur. “WOAH!!” cried the crowd!“HE ATTACKED A MONSTER!”“WITH ELEMENTAL HERO CLAYMAN!”“I’M SPEECHLESS! I LITERALLY HAVE NOTHING TO SAY! IT’S SO AWE-INSPIRING THAT IF I ACTUALLY SAID SOMETHING, I’D RUIN IT COMPLETELY—”“SHUT! UP!”“Okay.”“Wow, he attacked with Clayman!” Koala Ko Ala said.“Yeah,” agreed Syrus, “but now Clayman’s in Attack Mode. So now he’ll get attacked. And then he’ll get killed. And then Jaden will lose. And then we’ll all be depressed because Bastion just ruined the next two-part episode for us all.”“Why do I hang out with you, again?” Suddenly Mann McOldsmobile entered the scene! “Wow, who KNEW that the room filled with screaming dueling enthusiasts was ACTUALLY the Duel Do—HOLY CRAP!!” His mouth agape, he stood in fear of the field. “SK-SK-SK-SK-SK-SKY-SKY-SKY-SK-SK-SK-SKYSCRA-SKY-SK-SKYSC-SKY-SKYSCRAPER-SKYSCRAPER!!!?!” The card that defeated me that one time back then at that place when I was there!! He flashed back to his dueling days, a few weeks ago. He was standing in picturesque Skyscraper City, holding out his hand of cards. “Hmm, when he ends his turn, I’ll use this one card in my hand with this one card on my field to get this one card from my deck to WIN the game!” But his dreams were crushed as soon as he saw… the Generic Dragon. (Mann McOldsmobile: 1 Life Point) (Generic Dragon: 2 Attack Points)“Okay, Generic Dragon,” Jaden said, “attack him directly with You Could Have Seen This Coming – A Dragon Fire-Based Attack!!” The dragon inhaled air and exhaled fire at Mann McOldsmobile!“Oh NOOOOOOO!!” Mann McOldsmobile cried! (Mann McOldsmobile: -1 Life Points, Game Over) He slumped over in despair and dropped his cards. “I’m a FAILURE at DUELING!! I won those OTHER fourteen games; BUT IT WAS ALL A FLUKE! A SERIES of consecutive FLUKES! Wahahah…” He ripped off his Duel Disk and threw it away into a nearby lake, thus electrifying it into submission. A helicopter arrived suddenly.“Well, I’d better get back to Duel Academy, where you can kill kids without penalty, yo!” Jaden bid, grabbing a helpful rope ladder. As the helicopter flew off, he added “Get your game on, yo!”“BOO,” someone said, freaking the bejeebers out of Mann McOldsmobile.“Oh, and you’re expelled for killing a kid,” said a principal of a school, pointing to the body of a classmate Mann McOldsmobile had killed a few minutes before the duel over a nickel they’d found on the street. Damn, Mann McOldsmobile thought through the tears, touching the nickel in his pocket. Back to Bastion, the yellow kid drew his next card. “Well Jaden, I see that you’ve just killed a monster in an excellent play with Clayman,” he said, “but it may have been smarter just to lay down a face-down card and put Clayman in Defense Mode, you know.”“No way!!” Jaden gasped, finally realizing that Clayman only has 800 Attack Points!“Well,” Bastion sighed, “I suppose I’ll hurry this duel to a close by activating Litmus Doom Ritual.” A giant two-pronged tuning fork grew from the earth, charging an orb of electrical POWAH for some unknown reason. “I’ll tribute eight stars’ worth of monsters in order to summon a new Ritual Monster.” His two Hydrogeddons imploded, making the tuning fork get even MORE electrical!“Aw man! NOBODY likes Ritual Monsters! NOBODY!!” Jaden screamed!“You’re insensitive!” Bastion accused! “Now appear, Litmus Doom Swordsman!” A weird matador with a funny hat and TWO blades appeared, posed awkwardly, and made the tuning fork explode by just existing!! (LDS: 0 Attack Points) “Oh crap!” Syrus gasped! “He’s got NO Attack Points at ALL!! He MUST have a redeeming feature, making him less useless!”“Uh okay?” sighed Koala Ko Ala. “Heh, he’s even more useless than Winged Kuriboh, and he’s pretty useless!” Jaden chuckled.“Wrong, Winged Kuriboh is MUCH less useful!” Bastion said. “My Litmus Doom Swordsman, who I shall only call LDS from now on, is invincible to Spells and Traps, and can’t be killed in battle! In addition, he gains 3000 Attack Points when a Trap card is face-up on the field!” Jaden looked at the funny weight. Then back at the swordsman. “You’ve gotta be yankin’ my chain, right?”“I am not yanking your chain.”“Damn.” LDS held out one of his twin swords and became STRONG!! (LDS: 3000 Attack Points) “Assassinate Bladedge!” Bastion ordered with malicious intent! LDS walked over to Bladedge, still planted firmly in the ground by the weight on his head, and stabbed him in the eyes, thus leading into the brain, and cutting his cerebellum and all that jazz. Bladedge exploded, but not before contorting madly in pain. (Jaden: 1600 Life Points) Thankfully the weight faded away, making LDS weaker, and making everyone wonder why he hadn’t killed Clayman instead for massive damage.“’EY WHY DI’INT YOU ‘TACK CLAYM’N ‘STEAD?!” a guy asked.“Because I have a plan!” Bastion responded, because he had a plan.“OH, ‘KAY.”“Hyozanryu, attack Clayman!” Bastion said, forcing his diamondy dragon to give Clayman the same treatment Bubbleman’s bazooka was entitled to. (Jaden: 300 Life Points)“WAIT!” Jaden urged! “I use the anime-only effect where my monster gets attacked and STILL gains Attack Points, letting me lose less Life Points!” (Jaden: 1300 Life Points) “’Dat was close, ‘ya dig?”“I do NOT dig, Jaden, I do NOT. I play Pot of Greed, allowing me to draw two new cards.” Bastion drew two new cards, which he really needed at that point. He however ignored the ugly pot that had appeared. “Now I’ll set three cards face-down, diverging this game from the one in the anime.” His two cards appeared. “Please forgive me, Jaden, but I must beat you here and now. Take your turn.”“Heh, like throwin’ down a face-down’ll beat me!” Jaden laughed. “I’ll beat your lil’ Traps and win this turn with your dumb 0 Attack guy!”“I activate Spirit Barrier so I can’t take any Life Point damage anymore,” said Bastion, activating that card. It had a guy shooting an alligator super hero with a laser beam, negating all damage! “Wow, a card that negates all damage, huh,” Jaden gulped. “Well, I have something NOBODY else has EVER seen on this show! I summon… a BLACK guy!” “What?!” a guy gasped!“I can’t believe it!”“A BLACK guy at a JAPANESE school? Pshaw, I won’t BELIEVE until I SEE!”“Elemental Hero Wildheart, make history at this here school! And I’m sure what we just said here was NOT racist! The author’s black too, he just couldn’t believe it, either!” And lo and behold, an African super hero guy who looked like he’d come straight out of the brush, which slightly irritated me, appeared, but it was okay because he looked awesome and held a MASSIVE sword of awesome! Because everything’s better with swords.“RRRRRRAAAAAAAR!!” Wildheart roared! (Wildheart: 1500 Attack Points)“It’s okay, Japanese people just don’t know why it’s wrong to do that!” Bastion defended! “But how could you POSSIBLY defeat me now?”“Well I’ve got news for you: I equip my Wildheart with Cyclone Boomerang!” Jaden’s cool but slightly offensive hero suddenly held a large boomerang! (Wildheart: 1500 Attack Points)“It’s just an embarrassingly small boost, Jaden,” Bastion mocked, “that’s not good enough.” But can he really beat me? Should I let him? What if it doesn’t happen this time? “Well, I’ll tell you what’s ‘bout to go down, Bastion mah bud,” Jaden said, “when my Cyclone Boomerang is destroyed, your Spell and Trap cards are gone as well. And you lose 500 Life Points for each one!” Crap! thought Bastion! If he does what I hope he won’t do by attacking Hyozanryu, which is still alive in this version, then my plan won’t go over as planned! Science of idiots, don’t fail me now…“And now in order to make the biggest finish I could POSSIBLY think of, I’m having Wildheart attack LSD!”“It’s LDS!” Bastion corrected. Perfect, perfect! It’s ALL as I PLANNED!! Wildheart tossed his boomerang in a lack-luster fashion at LDS, causing it to bounce back and hit him in the forehead. “Ow!” he gasped! (Jaden: 300 Life Points) But the boomerang lived on!“Thank you so much, Jaden! I’ve had this ENTIRE duel planned out ahead of time. The fusion-cancel, the Skyscraper, even your cheating, and now I’ll end this here.”“Uh, I didn’t cheat?” Jaden attempted to defend.“I activate my two cards in response to your attack; Celestial Transformation and Ring of Destruction!” The picture of a grenade ring appeared next to a Spell featuring a cool angel made out of glass. “RING OF DESTRUCTION?!” Jaden cried!“OH NO WHAT DOES THAT DO?!” worried Mann McOldsmobile.“Yes, and my Spell lets me summon a Fairy monster from my hand at no cost, except for halving its Attack Points. I summon Petit Angel!” The glass angel appeared, quickly shattering into a cute angel thing. (Petit Angel: 300 Attack Points due to effect card, Bastion: 500 Life Points, Jaden: 300 Life Points. Get the picture yet?) “And now, I shall use my Ring of Destruction on…” There was a disturbance. Wait… The ceiling was smashed open as the Eiffel Tower fell from the sky, heading straight for Jaden! “WHAT THE HELL?!?!” screamed an onlooker!“WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?!” Bastion was too scared to even move.This wasn’t… supposed… to happen... “He’s killed three people!”“A POX UPON THEE!”“Where’d the Eiffel Tower come from?” “He’s killed three people!”“A POX UPON THEE!”“Where’d the Eiffel Tower come from?” “He’s killed three people!”“A POX UPON THEE!”“Where’d the Eiffel Tower come from?” “WHERE DID THE EIFFEL TOWER COME FROM?!?!” Jaden screamed!! Bastion blinked his eyes, back in control.“I MUST END THIS HERE!!” he roared, running through his holograms across the field, shoving Jaden away! The spear-like tip of the tower was caught squarely in-between Bastion’s palms as he showed strength even unheard of in this series.“What?!” Jaden gasped! “Bastion, no!” “BASTION YES!!” Bastion declared! “Jaden, everyone, Syrus…”“Why am I last?”“I’ve been lying to you all! Actually, I’ve never won a match before for your own good, not because I’m an idiot! THAT’S for a DIFFERENT reason!” Bastion revealed, sweat covering his brow from intense strain! “I’m cursed for some unexplained reason to kill people whenever I win a duel! And I’ve never told any of you before, well, because you’d never believe me and say I’m crazy.”“He’s right,” the crowd gasped, ashamed at themselves!“Jaden, I’m sorry!” Bastion apologized.“Bastion you crazy idjit, let go of it already!” Jaden commanded! “Use your Ring of Destruction already!”“Uuuuurrrrrggh…” Bastion groaned, “Ring of Destruction… destroy Petit…” As the grenade ring closed in on the cute angel guy, the tower pushed itself toward Jaden’s direction! “DON’T!!” Mann McOldsmobile shouted! “He’ll DIE if you WIN!!”“Ugh!” Bastion grimaced! “Don’t worry,” Jaden said, “it’s okay to kill me for your own personal gain! Card games are ALWAYS dances with death, and somebody has to pay the price! Just do it!”“No… NO!!” Bastion’s shout caused the entire foundation of the school to shake and rumble!“Aw, just DO it already!” pressured Crowler. The world shot it a dirty glance.“Ring of Destruction, destroy Hyozanryu!” The grenade ring teleported off of the cute thing and onto the ugly dragon, thus self-detonating. The entire school was held spell-bound. The dragon burst into flame, chipping off its diamond hide into the air, causing a magnificent shimmering effect across the Duel Dome. (Jaden and Bastion: 0 Life Points, Game Over) The tower suddenly felt more weightless, and Bastion was surprised to feel his grip on it loosening! It slowly flew back to wherever it came from, leaving everybody in the school safe. “Aw, no,” Janitorboy Ikkaku cried, staring at the mess of the roof the thing had left in its wake, “if I have to clean this stuff up, at LEAST crush ME!! No-ho-ho…” He cried. But everybody else cheered! By throwing away his lust for victory and supporting the weight of the Eiffel Tower with just his HANDS, Bastion had saved Jaden’s life, and ruined the ceiling! “BASTION IS AWESOME FTW WHOO!!” screamed the student body, ignoring the fact that if Bastion hadn’t tried to win in the first place, Jaden’s life wouldn’t be in danger, and it was all because Bastion got greedy!“Bastion, that was some awesome quick-thinking there,” Jaden complimented. They shook on it.“Can you forgive me, Jaden?”“Forgive you for what?”“…Uh, thanks.” But then Bastion was swarmed with fans!“YOU WERE COOL!”“THAT WAS AMAZING!”“Where’d the Eiffel Tower come from?”“OUTTA MY WAY!!” Piggybank started smacking people away with Fluffy Fred as a weapon, allowing the entire Bastion’s Baseball Wreckers Gang to crowd around him.“I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WOULDN’T DO THIS ANYMORE!” Fluffy Fred screeched!“Bastion, that was great,” Baseball Bob said.“Oh, well, thank you all…”“YOU AH NUMBAH WAN!!” Piggybank congratulated, hugging Bastion’s face!“Mmph hm hm phhm.”“That was the best thing I’ve seen all week, boss,” Fluffy Fred said, “but what about all these people?” He pointed to the sea-like crowd surrounding Bastion now.“Uh, I have a plan.” Bastion climbed on top of Piggybank with a megaphone. “EXCUSE ME EVERYONE,” he began, “I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT. I ALREADY HAVE A FAN CLUB DEDICATED TO MY AWESOMENESS AND FOLLOWING ME AROUND, BUT YOU ALL CAN BECOME THE BASTION BASEBALL WRECKERS FAN CLUB WRECKERS, OKAY?”“Yeah, sure,” a kid agreed, and they all left satisfied. As they all left, Chancellor Shepherd approached the two boys!“Now Bastion, even though you obviously won until that darn French tower thing fell from the sky, you still had a tie match,” he explained, “and as the rules say, Jaden really won that thing. So you won’t be dueling the North Academy representative.”“No way is what I say!” Jaden butted in! “I forfeit this chance in order to let Bastion be the best ‘lil Bastion he can be!”“Jaden, I must insist that you instead,” Bastion graciously declined, “as I’d be happy to let you do this as a really good apology so you can never hold that against me again.” His ‘Baseball King’ badge shined a bit.“Okay!” Jaden accepted, walking away satisfied. Meanwhile, Mann McOldsmobile was walking along the halls, recounting what he’d just seen in there. “Hey,” called a girl named Angry McArgues, “where are you going?”“Oh, you ladies,” Mann McOldsmobile remembered, turning to face the Alexis trio behind him. “Do you need to poo?” asked Nancy Wut.“Yeah, well, everybody poops, I suppose,” Mann McOldsmobile, “but not today. You see, before I was a high school student who killed people when he was angry, causing him to get held back for two-to-three years, I was a middle school student who killed people when he was angry. But during that time, somewhere in the middle, I was a duelist. I won about fourteen times before a kid said ‘get your game on’, followed by an odd ‘BOO’ who completely smoked me, making me lose all hope in the game. “But by chance I had come to this school, because you can actually kill others without penalty here, and it was just my luck that I’d seen that amazing display of friendship, loyalty, and French architecture wrapped up in a little burrito of hope. Today I’m going to buy myself… a starter deck.”“… Get your game on? Does he mean Jaden?” asked Alexis.“The card shop’s over that way,” said Angry McArgues, pointing back from where they’d all walked from already.“Oh dang it, thanks for the tip,” Mann McOldsmobile thanked, walking to where he was told.“The card shop’s not that way,” Alexis noted.“I know, he’s just an annoying idiot.”“What a bastard!” Nancy Wut smiled. Meanwhile, a French guy was standing near where the Eiffel Tower used to be before it flew into the stratosphere. Suddenly and luckily, it came down back into place. “Oh, it’s back,” he said…in English. Then he shrugged and walked away. Back at Duel Academy, Crowler and Janitorboy Ikkaku were hugging each other, sobbing hysterically! “It WASN’T SUPPOSED to BE this way!” Crowler cried! “How could Bastion LOSE to that Slifer Slacker?!”“And I have to clean up the mess!!” whined Janitorboy Ikkaku.“You’re not getting paid extra to fix that roof,” Chancellor Shepherd said, popping in for a second.“WAAAAAAAH!!” screamed Janitorboy Ikkaku. Professor Banner walked past them with Garfield the cat, not caring in the slightest.“Well that was exciting,” he said, watching Jaden leave with Syrus and Koala Ko Ala.“MEOW,” meowed Garfield in a particular manner.“Whoops, that means he has to poop,” Banner gasped, picking him up and running away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Des ＨＥＲＯ Posted March 7, 2010 Report Share Posted March 7, 2010 Lol how funny one different choice has a dramatic change.Cool about the Eiffel falling on people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weather Report - Stand Posted March 7, 2010 Author Report Share Posted March 7, 2010 Yes. The Eiffel Tower kills. Meanwhile I worked about five hours on those two episodes for this week, so BE THANKFUL! Or not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Des ＨＥＲＯ Posted March 7, 2010 Report Share Posted March 7, 2010 Wow that explains everything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weather Report - Stand Posted March 13, 2010 Author Report Share Posted March 13, 2010 Why is there a pirate in this show? How should I know? [spoiler=Episode 23: Get Yarr Game On!][spoiler=Part One]This TV gag is dedicated to a show I watched on a food-related show on the Travel Channel™ whose name I forgot. Please don’t kill me for my insolence. Jaden and his three friends were sitting in their room, watching TV on Mann McOldsmobile’s bunk, the one that broke off and crushed Jaden recently. “Oh man, that looks yummers!” Jaden chuckled, drooling at the mouth.“Uh, what’s ‘yummers’ supposed to mean?” Syrus asked cautiously. On the screen, a large breakfast-based burrito was featured in all its overly-tasty, maybe even yammers-ish glory. “What’s filled with a dozen eggs,” the hip-sounding announcer asked, “weighs seven pounds, and is covered in chili?”“This baby!” Nancy Wut answered, holding a chili-covered baby, who was dribbling some eggs from her mouth.“AAAAH!!” screamed the crew! “NANCY WUT?!”“What’s up with the baby?!” Koala Ko Ala asked!“Get rid of it!” Jaden ordered!“Okay,” Nancy Wut complied, and she threw the baby out the window.“NOOOOOOO!!”The screen froze with some family-friendly music. Some guy read out some words as they appeared on-screen. “Five Duelists and a Baby,” the guy said, “coming soon to a theatre near you! Rated M for Restricted.” Yu-Gi-Oh! GX! The Fan FicEpisode 23: Get Yarr Game On!Part One The Slifer Toolshed’s food area was in an uproar, signaled by the chaotic guitar solos today, and Syrus’ screams could be heard all across the island. Which was very annoying. “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!” he asked. “YOU TRADED MY BED FOR A STUPID CARD!!”“A stupid RARE card, Sy,” Jaden insisted.“It was a Blue-Eyes White Dragon,” said Mann McOldsmobile.“JADEN, YOU SUCK MORE THAN ANYBODY ELSE I KNOW!!” “B-but like I said, it was RARE! It’s your birthday tomorrow, and so I was gonna get it for you, yo!” Jaden said.“THAT DOES NOT MAKE IT RIGHT!” Syrus screeched. “Now because of what YOU’VE done, I’m going to have to sleep on the floor, wracked with stress over how DUMB my friend is, ruin my back AND my grades, get put out of school, burden my parents, and eventually, get sold to a company by them in order to become DOG FOOD! Second-RATE dog food, the backstabbers!! Also my birthday was last Thursday.”“Uh, well, it’s a rare card, like I said, yo, so you can sell it for ‘nuff swag to get a bed and two more!” Jaden suggested. He took out a Bue-Eyes White Dagon card that had a crappy picture of a Dark Magician on it.“YOU SOLD MY BED FOR A BOOTLEGGED CARD?!?!”“Hey everyone!” called Koala Ko Ala, entering the food area, “I found a sub!” He held up a submarine sandwich. “AND I found a SUBMARINE outside! Check it out!” The area cleared out in order to follow him to his devastatingly cool submarine. The Slifer dorm had crowded around the nearby cliff as a submarine was stationed in the ocean. “Wow, it’s so far down below the cliff!” gasped a kid.“I can BARELY see it!”“It’s dumb. I’d rather have the sandwich.”“LOOK, IT’S DOING A THING!!” gasped a girl with no name! Something had popped out of the top of the submarine, like a small podium. Slowly but steadily, it rose up several hundred feet and stopped in front of the kids. Then sounds relatable to footsteps could be heard.“Where’s it coming from?” asked Mann McOldsmobile.“I dunno, but this is already pretty dumb, and we’ve barely gotten into the episode,” Syrus syed. Finally, after several minutes, a sweaty, kinda-old guy with a pirate captain motif appeared by the podium! “Ugh…ugh…ugh,” he panted, clutching his heart. “Darn me an’ me ol’ ‘eart condition…” He looked at the students. “Oh, uh, AVAST YE CHIL’RENS!!”“Is THAT Cap’n CRUNCH?!” gasped Koala Ko Ala!“Why—NO! Why would I be that dang Crunch man? He ain’t even a REAL sea cap’n!” He stopped and re-collected himself. “Erm, I be Captain Salty of the briny deep, yarr! And I’m here to duel the boy ‘ye call Jaden Yucky!”“Uh, it’s Yuki, and only Crowler can call me that, yo,” Jaden explained. “You’re just an old weirdo guy who seems like the type to molest naïve kiddies like me. Almost like Crowler! But not really, so don’t call me that.”“YAAAAAARR…” Captain Salty growled, being angry and such, “I’LL KEELHAUL ‘YER POOPDECK ‘FER THAT, ‘YE SCURVY DOG!!”“AAAAAHH, HE IS A MOLESTER!!” the crowd screamed!“I’m NOT a scurvy dawg!!” Jaden cried!“I ain’t no consarned molester, I say!” shouted Captain Salty! “I be here to duel Jaden Yucky on account of I say so! Get YARR game on!!”“Oh gosh!” Jaden gasped! “When somebody says THAT, I HAVE to duel them!” A weird staircase appeared in front of the cliff. “That’s HORRIBLY convenient!” Jaden began to descend it. “No, wait!” cried Koala Ko Ala! “If you’re dueling, we, as your friends, HAVE to come watch! But wait for me to finish my sub.” He took a bite out of his sandwich… and a bite outta crime.“Sorry, guys, but he looks like a grade-A child molester to me, and this could get ‘ruff, dawg!” Jaden reasoned.“But we’re here to help!” Koala Ko Ala promised, wiping his mouth! “We’re in it with you!”“And me!” said Mann McOldsmobile.“Not me,” Syrus syed.“And me, too!” said Bastion, appearing suddenly. They all looked at him strangely, and he fled.“Eh, fine,” Jaden decided, “I’ll take ONE dude.” He stared at the line-up. “Eh, eenie-meeny-miney-Syrus.”“Why me?!”“Because you have blue hair!”“No.”“Well then, that settles it, yo!” Jaden hummed, walking down ‘da stairz.“Hmm,” mused Bastion, “this man seems pretty high-tech for a pirate, considering he could afford a staircase of this caliber.”“I concur,” Koala Ko Ala agreed.“‘Concur’?!” wondered Mann McOldsmobile.“WAAAAAGH what’re you DOING yos?!” gasped Jaden, surprised to see three guys following him. “Especially YOU, Bastion!”“Eh? Why is that, Jaden?” Bastion asked.“You’re yellow, and yellow is yucky!”“Like JADEN Yucky?”“Okay you can come…” And the kids entered the sub… but not the sandwich… through the great staircase. “WOOOOOOOOOAOAOAOAOAH,” the kids said, “THIS IS AN AWESOME SUBMARINE.” The thing was filled with all sorts of knobs, levers, and a series of strings and pulleys employed to keep the thing moving. Also there was a door marked ‘Duel Arena’ that they had been staring at the whole time.“I wish MY sub had a duel arena in it!” Koala Ko Ala wished.“Hey Jaden go inside and duel me yarr!” ordered Captain Salty, who came out of nowhere in particular.“Dah okay yo,” Jaden said gullibly. He abandoned his friends and walked with the salty seadog into a big room with water in it and two metal circle pad thingies.“Yar-har,” Captain Salty laughed, all of a sudden on the far end of the arena, “let’s duel!” “Wow,” said Koala Ko Ala from the original room, which had a big television to display all the duelin’ action goin’ on, “that TV just came outta the wall!”“Amazing!” Mann McOldsmobile chuckled. “I be ready to defeat ye!” shouted Captain Salty, holding out and activating his BUCCANEER PRIME EDITION EXX JEWEL ENCRUSTED DUEL DISK SUPREME that he bought for twenty bucks at some toy store. It made a cool glittery jewel sound!“That sounded so fake!” said Jaden.“DUEL!!” (Jaden: 4000 Life Points, Captain Salty: 4000 Life Points) And with that, an awesome oceanic song started. “Yo!” shouted Jaden!“‘Yo’ yerself, arrgh! Take yer turn!” ordered Captain Salty.“Yo, awright, I summon Elemental Hero WIldheart in Defense Mode! I seriously had nothing better!” And Wildheart flew onto the field!“GRR!” he growled, taking a defensive stance. (Wildheart: 1600 Defense Points) But all of a sudden, the ocean background disappeared and was replaced by several black panels of EVIL!! “WAAAAAAGH!!” Jaden screamed! “YOU’RE EVIL, THIS ISN’T THE REAL OCEAN, IT’S THE DOOM OCEAN!!”“Uh, no, I’m just a pirate-ish captain who wants to use ye in order to begin a duel school under the seven seas, yarr,” admitted Captain Salty. “And the virtual reality panels be on the fritz lately, yarr.” Captain Salty picked up a helpful rock and threw it at the wall. One panel exploded in a firey inferno, but the rest were back online.“That’s a lot of booty…” gasped Koala Ko Ala.“Don’t say that. EVER.” Mann McOlsmobile ordered.“Shut up, ye dolts in the control room! I be usin’ A LEGENDARY OCEAN!!” Captain Salty placed a Field Spell into his Duel Disk: one of the lost city of ATLANTIS!! Sadly it was full of water and ruins.“Aw, ruins? That’s a BORING Field Spell!” whined Jaden! “I’ll show you what a REAL Field Spell is like… later…”“Don’t be makin’ yer empty threats on yer opponent’s turn!” advised Captain Salty! “I now use the effect of the Legendary Ocean to decrease the summoning level of me next monster: THE MEGA EVIL KILLER WHALE SECRET BASE OF OPERATIONS – CODE ORCA!! Also he gains 200 Attack and Defense.” A very big, very nice killer whale poked out of the water with a massive hangar of weird fishy artillery on its back.“MOO,” it mooed. (TMEKWSBOOCO: 2300 Attack Points)“What a dumb card!” gasped Jaden!“It be about to get dumber! Mega Evil Killer Whale Secret Missile!” The monster with a long name swam up a tad, opened its mouth, and grew wings! Wings made of nukes! Rocket-thrusted nukes, that shot through the sea into Wildheart, utterly wiping him off the face of the ocean!“That was extreme! Ly DUMB!!” Jaden grunted! “Nukes made of wings… what kinda whack card is it, yo?”“What? ‘Ly’? What manner ‘o English is YOU speakin’?”“Extreme-ly. See? Get it, yo?”“OOOOOH, I get it now, ahahaha. So what about it?”“About what?”“The undersea school house,” reminded Captain Salty. “We have the same kinda humour, same kinda personality. I’m sure I’ll be like a dad to ye! And you’ll be the SUPREME Assistant Manager of the school!”“SUPREME Assistant Manager?!” Jaden gasped! “That sounds sweet!”“Don’t do it Jaden!” shouted Bastion! “There IS not Assistant Manager of a school, no matter HOW intense he makes it sound!”“Oh yeah, thanks Bastion!” “Yaargh, defeated by Britain yet again, I be! I’ll just throw down me face-down, and end me turn,” Captain Salty said, deflated.“BOO,” someone said.“Wait, THROW DOWN?!” Jaden asked. “I LOVE it when people say that, it’s so rad!”“Crap, he slightly wants to go with him!” gasped Mann McOldsmobile! “Wah, you’re right, yo!” Jaden gasped, hearing Mann McOldsmobile’s gasp over the loudspeaker! The yo-kid shook his head and got the ‘throw down’ out of his head. “He got over it, yarr!” gasped Captain Salty! “Hellz yeah I got over it, and I’m summonin’ Elemental Hero Avian JUST to drive the point home!” Jaden’s stupid plans came true as Avian appeared in the lost city, defending himself!“NO, JADEN, DON’T!!” shrieked Koala Ko Ala and Bastion!“What’s wrong with Avian?” asked poor, unsuspecting Mann McOldsmobile.“Yo, guys, what’s up?” greeted Avian. (Avian: 1000 Attack Points, 1000 Defense Points)“OH MY GOSH!! THAT GUY’S HORRIBLE!!” screamed Mann McOldsmobile! “AUGH, WHY WOULD HE USE HIM?!”“Sniff,” sniffed Avian, as he wiped away a single tear.“Now I throw down mah OWN face-down, Captain Sea-Water!” chuckled Jaden!“YAAAAR, THAT BE IT!!” roared Captain Salty! “NO MAN BE CALLIN’ ME CAPTAIN SEA-WATER!!” He got into an intense pointy-finger pose directed at Jaden! “I’LL BE MAKIN’ YE MY SUPREME ASSISTANT MANAGER IF IT BE THE LAST THING I DO!!” “He sounds serious now,” said Bastion, “if I were Jaden, I’d go with him. This is his only chance to avoid his divine rage and join him in the best opportunity for an underwater dueling school I’ve ever seen…”“Uh-oh, he’s rambling again,” Mann McOldsmobile said, “should I hit him?”“No, not yet,” Koala Ko Ala suggested. “Well he ain’t be gettin’ any choice, England-Boy!” Captain Salty shouted. “This is my submarine, and if I beat Jaden, I’m not gonna be lettin’ ye all out!”Darn, he’s right! thought the Duel Academy gang. Why’d we even enter this submarine in the first place? DARN we’re stupid!“Hey, you big dummy,” Avian said, “I won’t let this happen!”“What?!” “Yeah!” Avian held out a cell phone. “I’m calling the police!”“I knew it was a great idea to summon my main man Avian!” Jaden cheered! “Hello, this is the Ocean Zone 5431 Police Department, how may we help you?” asked the police.“Uh, hi, I’m Elemental Hero Avian, and we’re in a submarine in Ocean Zone 5430. Can you please send out somebody—”“We’re sorry, but we don’t have the equipment to do submarine rescues. We hope you understand.”“Oh. Thanks.”“Have a good day.”CLICK. Avian put away his cell phone. “They wouldn’t help us.”“Why are there police that specifically help certain areas of the ocean?” asked Bastion.“I dunno, but that’s pretty cool,” Mann McOldsmobile said wistfully. “I activate Cursed Waters – Level Three!!” announced Captain Salty! A Trap card with some boring water appeared! But something was stirring in said water…“That sounds intense!” Avian said.“SHUT UP, YE POOR EXCUSE FER A MONSTER!!”“I am no monster, I am a MAN!!”“Shut up!”“Okay.”Captain Salty scratched his head. “Stupid new-age monsters, yarr. Back in ME day, the monsters didn’t jabber all day long! They growled and stuff! Anyways, me Trap lets me summon all the Level Three monsters in me hand.” A torpedo shaped like a fish and a snail-thing in a spiky shell resembling a drill appeared from THE DEEP! “How the heck am I supposed to know how many stars they’ve got?” Jaden complained.“Amazing,” Bastion noted, “that man just used an impressive combo! Normally, that Cannonball Spear Shellfish has three stars, and that Torpedo Fish has two, but now that he’s used A Legendary Ocean, they equal two and one stars, respectively, equaling three in total! In addition, they originally have stats of one-thousand Attack Points. But with A Legendary Ocean, they have one-thousand two-hundred, allowing them to defeat Avian! Amazing, simply ama—”“Shut up, nerd-boy!! Now I use me drug-inspired killer whale’s ability to destroy that face-down with ‘is special ability!” Captain Salty pointed at the snail-thing! “Whale-thing! Do your stuff, yarr!” The Mega Evil Killer Whale Secret Base of Operations – Code Orca picked up the snailguy with its small arm-like fins and simply tossed it at the Mirror Gate Trap Jaden had carefully laid.“Aw—w, yo—o,” whined Jaden, “you didn’t HAVE to destroy it, Captain Salty…” “Yes I did! Now, yarr, Torpedo Fish, blow up that thar Avian!”“YEEEE!!” screamed Avian! He swam away furiously as the cool fish flew through the sea after him! Sadly he did not make it. Elemental Hero Avian{1974-2010} “Damn it, he died again!” Jaden cried! “You will PAY, yo!”“No, YE will PAY!” Captain Salty’s insane grin didn’t look so nice anymore. His giant orca thing swam close to Jaden, opened its mouth, and extended is cannon-tongue. Yes, it has a cannon for a tongue. It swiftly fired out a massive plasma-based laser beam at Jaden’s face.“Ow, the hologram!” Jaden recoiled!“Ahh!” screamed Koala Ko Ala and Mann McOldsmobile!And with the most serious face he could muster, Bastion shouted “Oh-NO!!” TO BE CONTINUED…[spoiler=Part Two]Yu-Gi-Oh! GX! The Fan FicEpisode 23: Get Yarr Game On!Part Two (Jaden: 1700 Life Points) Jaden’s entire upper body was burned away. Thankfully, there was a spare Jaden, who quickly took the stage. “Man, that totally toasted my spare Jaden!” the new Jaden ‘tsk’ed. “To honor the loss of Spare Jaden, I activate Polymerization!” Clayman and Sparkman flew into a whirlpool of anti-matter space-time, yadda yadda yadda, we’ve seen it all (or read) before… BUT THEN THUNDER GIANT APPEARED! (Thunder Giant: 2400 Attack Points) “Elemental Hero Thunder Giant, you know what to do!”“ROOOOOOAR!!” roared Thunder Giant! Holding out his massive palms, he fired off electricity, however possible that may be, which electrocuted that DARN killer whale!“OWOOOOOWOOOH,” whale-called the member of the shark family! He exploded into several cool whale bits.“Nooooooooo!” screamed Captain Salty! “How did ye do that?”“Easy!” Jaden’s expression hardened. “WATER IS WEAK TO ELECTRICTY!!”“Dang, I fe’rgot me pokemans knowledge!” Bastion quickly scanned his Pokemon Yellow Version™ official game guide! “By jove, he’s right!” he exclaimed! “Water IS weak to electricity!” “Shut up, Bastion! Use Voltic Thunder!!” Jaden’s Thunder Giant held his arms out once again and fried Captain Salty with the force of a thousand low-voltage batteries!“AAAAAGH, ME TIMBERS BE SHIVVERED!! AAAH!” Captain Salty fell over, halfway defeated. (Captain Salty: 1600 Life Points)“Oh and I throw down three face-downs,” Jaden quickly decided.“BOO,” someone said.“Eeeeeeh,” grunted Captain Salty as he stood up, “I has a proposition ‘fer ye. If ye work for me, then me give ye a THOOOOOOUSAND DUBLOONS!!” To show how much he WASN’T bluffing, Captain Salty held out a sample handful of gold coins with pictures of a smiling pirate on every one. “How much is that worth?” asked Mann McOldsmobile.“Oh my goodness, that’s worth over A MILLION DOLLARS!!” Bastion shrieked! “Mmm,” salivated Koala Ko Ala, who was enjoying some food.“Hey, you’ve got a snack on ‘ya? I’m hungry.”“Okay,” Koala Ko Ala said, offering Mann McOldsmobile two of his Choco-Good Gold Dubloons chocolate coins. They had a picture of a smiling pirate on every wrapper. “He’s a lying liar,” Mann McOldsmobile bluntly growled. “kick his ass. HARD.” “Oh, but Jaden, me boy,” Captain Salty reasoned, “a THOUSAND coins of chocolate is better’n livin’ with a depressed landlubber of a boy who hates ye fer just stealin’ and sellin’ ‘is bed, ain’t it?”“Sorry, buuuuuut…” Jaden answered… “I HATE CHOCOLAAAAAAATE!! However, if you had peanut butter coins, I’d happily say yes.”“P-PEANUT BUTTER?!” gasped his friends.“Arrgh, I have me no peanut butter to trade ye with! I’ll just play this then: The Shallow Grave!” Captain Salty’s newest Spell card featured some sort of cool voodoo priest climbing out of his grave with a cool demon parrot-like companion near his shoulder. He seemed like a cool guy. “This here card lets us both summon one of our monsters from the ol’ Graveyard in Defense Mode!” His killer whale with a really long name I regret making up for him was BACK!! (TMEKWSBOOCO: 1400 Defense Points)“Aw man, not THAT guy AGAIN!” Jaden whined. All HE could do was summon that wimp Clayman. (Clayman: 2000 Defense Points) “Now,” the CRAAAZY sea captain continued, “I’ll give you a slap in the face by tributing my latest trump monster for Levia Dragon – Daedalus!!” The whale exploded in a blaze of glory, quickly exchanged with a sea dragon covered in iron-hard natural armor, complete with two sets of eyes and two mouths. (Daedalus: 2800 Attack Poits)“…That looks dangerous,” Jaden shuddered.“Well, he very well BE dangerous, laddie, as I can discard me Legendary Ocean, yarr, to… BLOW UP THE WHOLE FIELD!!” Captain Salty shouted!“WoOoOaAaH!!” Jaden spooked-out-edly screamed!“But not right now,” Captain Salty decided.“Whew.”“BECAUSE I TRIBUTE ME LEVIA DRAGON TO SPECIAL SUMMON ME GREATEST MONSTER, OCEAN DRAGON LORD – NEO DAEDALUS!!”“WoOoOaAaH!!” The first dragon’s head split in half around the second mouth. Its neck began to sever itself in a similar way, constantly healing themselves as they went. Soon the monster had a set of two heads, one with a smooth and diabolical appearance, the other more rugged and like the original. The hard blue armor along the serpent grew larger and more spiked as the body stretched out, ending up at about fifty-seven feet long, twelve feet high. “GARUUUUUUUGA!!” they screeched, causing the entire submarine to shake violently, even if it was just a hologram with an advanced sound system.“DAY-AM, that is a BIG-ASS dragon!” is how Mann McOldsmobile put it.“And NOW,” Captain Salty said, “I’ll use HIS ability, yarr, to BLOW UP THE WHOLE FIELD AND OUR HANDS!!”“Did he just say their hands, too?!” Koala Ko Ala asked, unable to cope with the intense cheapness he was witnessing! The sea dragon began going wild, smashing apart the undersea ruins around the duelists, causing the field to break and crash down all around them. Not even CLAYMAN was safe, as he and his monster friend were smooshed by the falling stuff. “U-uh, wait!” Jaden stammered. “I activate one ‘a my face-downs, Emergency Provisions!” The kippers ‘n crackers returned! “I’ll turn my other two face-downs into crackers, and chow down, yo!” His cards did indeed turn into saltines, but were crushed by falling debris. “Aww, I can’t even eat mah crackerz? What a cheap card, yo!” But even so, Atlantis died. AGAIN. All that was left was the giant, magnificent, maleficent dragon and two duelists who threw their hands away. (Jaden: 3700 Life Points, Levia Dragon: 3100 Attack Points)“I don’t CARE ‘bout yer crackers, arrgh!” Captain Salty said. “Now, if ye don’t want to lose, ye’d best give up now so that you can go live underwater with me!”“That’s a stupid thing to think over!” Bastion shouted.“No, wait,” Jaden thought, “this is serious. My pride as a duelist is on ‘da line, yo! Either I give my life up, or I lose a card game. Which would YOU choose?”“Life.”“Life.”“Life, you idiot!!”“Oh yeah, attack,” Captain Salty remembered. His really big really cool dragon swiped its tail in Jaden’s face, which would have cut it into ribbons (of flesh) if it weren’t a hologram!“Yeow!” Jaden cried! (Jaden: 600 Life Points)“I’ll give ye on more chance, yarrgh,” Captain Salty allowed. “But once you draw your next card there’s no turnin’ back, and yer pride as a duelist shall be forfeit! And I’ll force you to work ‘fer me.” What should I do? Jaden thought. Should I really give up, allowing him to take me to work at his school as SUPREME Assistant Manager, or should I lose the game, allowing him to take me to his school as SUPREME Assistant Manager? What should I do? I can’t POSSIBLY pull off an EXTREME combo which would be able to let me win with one card! It’s hopeless… it’s hopeless! IT’S HOPELESS!! Wait what would mom do? He thought of his mother, a nice-looking lady with brown hair and massive brown anime eyes. “Purple,” said she. Purple… purple! THAT’S IT!! “Captain Salty!”“Eh?”“As long as there’s a ‘Yu’ in my last name, the ‘Will of D’ shall LIVE ON FOREVAH, NO JOKE!!” Jaden drew his next card, which shined like the rising sun of Chuck E. Cheese’s extraordinaire. “He… he’s right!” Mann McOldsmobile realized! “Wow, he DOES have ‘Yu’ in his last name! Not so sure about all that Chuck E. Cheese stuff or the sun, but this is just like in the cartoons, with the Yugi guy and the YUsei guy! They were really blatant about that symbol, weren’t they?”“Oh yeah, his name’s a plot point,” Koala Ko Ala remembered. “YES!! I summon Elemental Hero Bubbleman!” The caped crusader parody appeared in a cloak of pretty bubbles! (Bubbleman: 800 Attack Points)“Yarr, you got ‘ta be kiddin’ me, boy,” Captain Salty groaned. “That guy can’t be beatin’ me giant sea dragon beast.”“Who cares?” Jaden asked. “I use his special ability to draw two cards when I summon him and own no other cards at all!” Jaden pulled out his two LUCKY new cards: two copies of Pot of Greed! Purple was right! believed Jaden. “Next I pull off the impossible combo of two Pot of Greed cards at the same time!!” In Jaden’s hands were two equally ugly pots, which he threw at Captain Salty!“Yeowch! Darn holograms!”“I draw my four new cards, and first I’ll use The Warrior Returning Alive!” Jaden’s Sparkman rose back from the dead, covered in wooden arrows for some reason! “Then I use the Spell Metamorphosis!” A Spell card with some pale guy turning into some OTHER pale guy flipped up near Bubbleman, then began to EAT him!! “Yarrgh!” screamed Captain Salty! “Wh-what’s happenin’ to ‘im?!”“Oh, he’s just transforming,” Jaden explained. “Please excuse him as he slips into something a lil’ more AWESOME.” And the Spell exploded, allowing an ALL-NEW, thinner, sleeker, more marine-oriented form of the fatso! He now looked respectable! “It’s Elemental Hero NEO Bubbleman!” (Neo Bubbleman: 800 Attack Points) “Then I’ll give my homie Bubbleman’s Bazooka for 800 more Attack Points and partial invincibility,” Jaden went on, summoning the cool bubble bazooka we all know and worship, “and now, turn that sea monster into sushi!!”“It was cool until he said that,” Koala Ko Ala said, sadly. Neo Bubbleman aimed and fired a huge blast of water fury at the two-headed leviathan, thus doing absolutely nothing. “Yarr-harr-harr, ‘yer Bubble Boy did nothin’ to me sea dragon! Try again in a thousand years, me swabbie! Yarr-harr-harr.”“Nah, actually when my Neo Bubbleman attacks, your monster dies.” “ARGH?!” Bubbleman’s Bazooka broke into a mass of triangular pixels which surrounded Ocean Dragon Lord – Neo Daedalus!“Ugh, they’re so annoying!” said the rugged head!“I agree!” agreed the smooth brother head. “Let’s get outer here!” They exploded together… brothers ‘til the end.”“YAAAAARGH, NOOOOOOOES, DON’T DO THAT!!” Captain Salty wailed!“SPARKMAN PAWNCH!!” Sparkman ‘pawnch’-ed Captain Salty in the jaw, ending everything. (Captain Salty: 0 Life Points, Game Over) “He won!” Bastion gathered!“That last name sure works wonders, somehow,” Mann McOldsmobile thought aloud.“But that ain’t all!” Jaden announced! “If you looked carefully, that FAKE’S catch phrase changed from ‘yarr’ to ‘yarrgh’! He isn’t a REAL pirate! Now are you, Captain Phony-Man?”“H-how did you…” Captain Salty’s face suddenly cracked like porcelain! His entire body broke apart… to reveal this guy. “No! My disguise! It was so perfect…”“Who is you?!” Jaden commanded.“Hmph,” the man ‘hmph’-ed, “my name is… Dr. Card. And that’s all I will tell you about me for now, but I swear, someday I WILL get your active volcano to become my evil lair and base of operations, I swear by it!” He disappeared in a puff of smoke!“He just told us his plans!” Bastion realized! “What an idiot!”“But what about the submarine?” asked Koala Ko Ala. “NONE of us can pilot a sub! We’re stuck in here!”“We’ll just force that Dr. Card guy to do it for us!” decided Mann McOldsmobile. Then he looked out the undersea window in the control room and saw the Dr. Card escape pod leaving through the ocean. “Hmm. Never mind, we’re going to die in the middle of the ocean.”“Aw man!” complained them all!“BUT YOU STILL HAVE ME!!” screamed a familiar friend! The submarine was split in half as a harpoon was swiped through the thing’s cast-iron hull!“Oh crap we’re gonna drown,” said Jaden.“No you won’t!” An astronaut appeared through the flooding and threw Jaden a space suit! “Wow! An astronaut suit, G! That’s sweet! Who’re you?”“You really don’t recognize me… Jaden?” asked Syrus the space man.“Sy! You really came to rescue me!” Jaden gave Sy a BIG hug. “Buddy, I’ll NEVER sell your bed again! I promise!”“Thanks, but put on your suit, it’s time to get outta this thing before we drown and become fodder for some man-eating fish, and nobody will find out corpses, ‘kay?” Two minutes later, eight people dressed as astronauts swam out o the water and onto the Duel Academy piers. “Boy, that was exciting!” Mann McOldsmobile chuckled, taking off his suit. The others followed his example, except for Koala Ko Ala.“His suit ripped a bit and got flooded,” Syrus noticed, looking at the drowning fat-boy.“Don’t worry, he’ll be fine,” said Alexis. Yes, the others were Alexis, Nancy Wut and Angry McArgue!“Wow, the gals!” Jaden sighed! “Thanks for savin’ my friend’s cans!”“Yes indeed,” Bastion thanked, “without Angry McArgue handing me a suit, I’d have died.”“Shut up, you don’t have to thank me,” Angry McArgue grunted, turning away from Bastion.Um, is she a tsundere, or is she just like this all the time?“Why were they space suits, anyways?” Jaden asked. “There weren’t any diving suits, so I had to make due with what I could!” Nancy Wut explained!“Oh well thanks,” they thanked.“And it’s all thanks to Syrus being paranoid about your safety and hauling in that harpoon!” Alexis congratulated!“Yeah, I split open a submarine!” Syrus boasted.“YAY FOR SYRUS, WOOT, FTW!!” shouted the friends, and they partied well into dusk. THE HAPPY END… Meanwhile, in Dr. Card’s SECRET UNDERWATER LAIR, the evil man sat in a comfy chair. “Those fools,” he grumbled, “they may think that they’ve beaten me and stopped me from kidnapping Jaden Yuki and throwing him in some abandoned school underwater. But mark my words, I WILL turn that volcano into my Super Secret Active Volcano Lair of Evil! I swear it! Don’t forget me, I’ll become a recurring character soon! DON’T FORGET ME!!” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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