Yu-Gi-Oh! GX! The Fan Fic (UPDATE: Episode 45 Started! Here's where it gets serious.)

[Kaisu]

Lulz.

 

But in my head - Shades=Masquarade(Bakugon)

 

Also, you made a mistake

 

"time to get your game on!"

 

Upper-case 'T'?

[Weather Report - Stand]

Meh, it's okay, since the last thing the stupid teacher said ended with a comma. GOOD EYE, THOUGH.

[Kaisu]

I'm sure there was another typo, but I can't see it anymore.

[Weather Report - Stand]

Aw... but you're an even better proofreader than my sister, and she's a bona-fide grammar nazi (not literally, I'm just usin' 'da slang stuffz)! That's really saying something, don'cha know! And none of this message was neant to be taken negatively, mind you.

[Kaisu]

You know, from one point on, wenever Founatine appears, someone should call her "Fountain'.

[Weather Report - Stand]

Hmm... Ms Fonda Fountain... sounds irritating! I'm SURE glad I'M not called Fountain by MY peers! From this day forth, 'Fountain' shall be her berserk button!

[Kaisu]

Heheh. Maybe, if she ever duels, her trump card shoud be something to do with a fountain. Then she'll go beserk and destroy her own card 0_o

[Weather Report - Stand]

Nah, she uses Nurse Reficul in the anime, and that guy's cool!

[Kaisu]

Huh. Well, you could sneak in a card.

[Des ＨＥＲＯ]

Episode 15 was funny like always.

[Des ＨＥＲＯ]

Episode 15 was funny like always.

[Des ＨＥＲＯ]

Episode 15 was funny like always.

[Weather Report - Stand]

I'm sorry, but it may take me until Monday to finish Episode 16. Sorry for any inconvenience.

[Kaisu]

Bit Busy?

 

Anyways, can't wait to see it.

[Weather Report - Stand]

And it be done!

 

[spoiler=Episode Sixteen: The Duel Giant][spoiler=Part One]Jaden and friends turned on their T.V. one fine Sunday morn. “But JAY-DUUUN,” Syrus whined, “I don’t WANNA see 4Kids TV! It’s dumb and un-popular with the hip, cool kids!”

“Relax, Sy,” Jaden said, tightening the ropes binding Syrus to the bedpost, “I tied Koala Ko Ala JUST as tightly as you! It’s all fair, dude!”

“NO, IT’S NOT,” Koala Ko Ala groaned, “YOU’RE CRUSHING MY STOMACH.”

“QUIET!” Jaden turned on the lil’ black box of entertainment.

 

“And now, a message from Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D’s, brought to you by Yusei Fudo and Crow Hogan,” the 4Kids announcer babbled. Yusei and Crow ‘Hogan’ drove by the screen on their Duel Runners.

“Hey, Crow?” Yusei asked his friend.

“Yeah, Yusei?” his friend responded.

“Y’know where I go when I have a reading fix?”

“Where?” Crow giddily asked.

“The LIBRARY!!” Yusei thunderously responded!

And the commercial ended with the two men revvin’ up their Duel Runners, rapping, “REV IT UP REV IT UP REV IT UP UP UP AT THE LIBRARY!!”

“SON!” Yusei added, with a hip hand motion.

“A message from the ‘Revvin’ It Up at the Library’ program, sponsored in part by 4Kids Entertainment.”

 

Jaden and his friends stared blankly at the ‘telly. “… Okay, you guys can go now. I guess you don’t HAVE to watch it with me THIS week,” Jaden depressingly sighed, untying the two boys.

“Yippee!” Syrus cheered!

“Let’s go outside and play catch, Syrus!” Koala Ko Ala suggested.

“Great idea!” The two guys left Jaden to wallow in his own sadness.

“… I forgot why I liked their dubs, yo…”

 

Yu-Gi-Oh! GX! The Fan Fic

Episode 16: The Duel Giant

Part One

 

“AAUIUUUUGHEEEEYYAYAYA!!” screamed a guy who exploded in the middle of the night. His cards flew everywhere in the immediate area! The Obelisk Blue kid looked on in horror as a hilarious-looking fat guy covered in blue coats bent down and took one of his cards.

“I’ll be takin dish,” he said in his most gruff voice possible.

“Uuugh… ahahaha! Your voice is hilarious!” the blue guy chuckled.

“You’re jush lucky dish card washn’ de ONRY thing you losh tonight!” the giant failure warned.

“Like what? My life? That would be STUPID,” scoffed the Obelisk Idiot.

“Nesh time, pick on shumbuddy yer OWN shize! Eheheh,” laughed the big, fat man as he left the scene.

“That’s so dumb! I mean, YOU challenge ME, AND you’re HUMONGOUS! Oh wait he took my card.”

 

THE! NEXT!! DAY!!!

The guitar solo was pretty short today, which should be taken as a sign that everything is NOT okay. “I heard he beat up ANOTHER guy LAST NIGHT!” an Obelisk Blue kid told his two friends.

“I hear he’s REALLY BIG, and THAT’S why they call him the Duel Giant!”

“Hey, that really makes sense!”

“Y’know, I hear he eats BABIES for BREAKFAST,” one of the three snorted.

“A guy like that should be arrested… for eating babies!” the third one who I didn’t acknowledge stated.

“Ha ha, yeah, THAT’S what should happen to him!”

“Hee hee!”

“Yo, what’s all ‘da hubbub, bubs?” Jaden asked out of nowhere.

“AAAARGH, THE DUEL GIANT!!” the three guys screamed! But no, it was just Jaden… and Syrus… and Koala Ko Ala.

“I bet you’re surprised to see me in school for once, right?” Koala Ko Ala asked.

“No, you’ve been seen around school more than once before!” one of the Obelisks said. “You just startled us when we were talking about the DUEL GIANT!”

“Duel Giant?” repeated Jaden.

“Yeah, a giant who duels! He beats Obelisks like us and takes one random card of theirs! Rumor has it that he has poor eyesight, so he usually takes the CRAPPY ones as WELL as the GOOD ones.”

“Last week,” one started, “he beat me and took my Watapon, though there was a perfectly good Blue-Eyes White Dragon next to it!”

“But that one sucks, too!” Syrus announced.

“Oh. Well, there goes that theory.”

“Well, why’s everybody so SCARED o’ ‘dis guy, yo?” Jaden asked.

“Legend has it (and by legend I mean rumors circulating around the school), that he wears ALL the blazers of the Obelisk Blues he’s beaten… and probably some he stole from a supply cabinet, because I REALLY don’t think he’d be able to beat THAT many guys,” answered one of the random guys.

“Hmmm.” Jaden conjured up the image of a fat guy wearing several layers of clothing. He fell over and was rendered helpless, because of the sheer fatness of his eleventy-bajillion coats.

”I SURE wish I wore a bit less coats,” he sighed.

“Ha ha!” Jaden laughed.

 

“Well, we’ll be doing Obelisk Blue stuff now, bye,” said the Obelisk guys, leaving semi-hastily.

“What’s THEIR hurry?” wondered Syrus audibly. AAH, Crowler was walking down the hallway, headed STRAIGHT for them!!

“Darn that DUEL GIANT,” it seethed, “because of the RUCKUS he’s causing, I can’t monitor Jaden YUCKY today!”

“Do you… want one of US to do that for you, ma’am?” Bastion asked, wearing his new BLUE coat and his good ol’ fashioned ‘King of Baseball’ badge. “You COULD, as my mentor, just tell me to get somebody else to do it or you and they’ll get it done.” He pointed to Fluffy Fred, Baseball Bob, and lastly (but not leastly) Piggybank. “Alternatively, you COULD just send ME out to find the Duel Giant by myself.”

“I’ll watch the little bugger!” Fluffy Fred suggested.

“Hmm, not a bad idea,” Crowler agreed. Then it bumped into Jaden. “Ahh! Yucky-Boy!”

“Yo Crowler!” Jaden greeted. “Yo Bastion!”

“Salutations.”

“Yo Bob!”

“Eh, hi?”

“Yo Piggybank!”

“Hello.”

Jaden turned to Koala Ko Ala and Syrus. “C’mon, guys, say ‘yo’ to them all!”

“I don’t wanna say ‘yo’,” Syrus fidgeted, “and plus I’m SCARED of Piggybank.”

“And I don’t like Bastion!” Koala Ko Ala stated. “He didn’t invite me out to the beach, so he’s an idiot!”

“Yo, he can HEAR you, yo!” Jaden reminded.

“Oh. Huh?” Koala Ko Ala flinched as Bastion shed a single tear, shuddering.

 

Wait, Crowler thought, I have an easily swayed boy idiot wonder duelist in front of me. Think of something, quick, and get HIM to duel that NASTY Duel Giant! It’s the perfect plan! “Say, Jaden?”

“Yeah, teach?” Jaden answered.

“What would you say to… no homework for the rest of the year?”

“N-n-n-N-n-n… n-n-n-N-n-n-… n-n-n-NO HOMEWORK?!” Jaden cried!

Yes! I’ve got’m on the ropes! Whatever THAT means, thought Crowler.

 

“N-n-n-n-NO DEAL!” Jaden shouted!

“But why?” Baseball Bob wondered.

“DUH, if I don’t have any homework, then I won’t have the need to study. Then my grades will DROP DRAMATICALLY. Furthermore, if I get too much extra time, I’ll surf the net on my YugiNavi™ and do nasty stuff while looking at soft-core porn! What do you THINK would happen?! Plus you didn’t offer it to my friends, man.”

“Oh well Syrus too,” Crowler hastily added.

“But what about me?” Koala Ko Ala voiced.

“AW YEAH BOOOOY!!” Jaden and Syrus cheered!

“Seriously, did you just ignore me… AGAIN?!”

“Anyways just beat the Duel Giant and the reward is yours, heh heh heh heh heh!” Crowler pushed Fluffy Fred and Bastion forward.

“Woah.”

“Oof!”

“Bastion, assist Jaden and Syrus. Fred, secretly keep an eye on Yucky-Boy and document anything strange or useful that happens,” Crowler instructed.

“Okay.”

“Alright. TEAM.” Bastion caught the attention of his fellow Baseball Wreckers Gang. “Baseball Bob and Piggybank, you are to slack off and do nothing!”

“RIGHT!” The two saluted and instantly dropped onto the floor, doing nothing.

“Well, good luck with that,” Crowler said, and left with a SCAAAARY grin on its face. Heeheeheeheehee, once I get cold proof that Jaden YUCKY and that DUEL GIANT were dueling with an illegal ante rule, meaning that they’re dueling for cards by betting… why was I explaining that to myself? Anyways, they’ll be expelled. HA HA!

 

Jaden, Syrus, Koala Ko Ala, Bastion, and Fluffy Fred kinda stood there for a minute. “She told me to watch you like a hawk, but secretly,” Fluffy Fred said.

“Cool, yo! Like a BODYGUARD?”

“No. Like a creepy rapist, sadly,” Bastion corrected.

“What’s the diff, yo?”

We went over this last week, Syrus thought, annoyed.

Why am I so largely ignored? Koala Ko Ala thought, sadly.

 

MEANWHILE, IN DA DUEL DOME…

“I’m gonna beat you in a duel!” an Obelisk Blue guy promised!

“I’m NOT gonna beat you in a duel!” a depressed-looking Ra Yellow with green hair agreed. “Now, Super Spiky Razor Sharp Rhino, don’t attack him! Just stand there!” the boy ordered. His Super Spiky Razor Sharp Rhino stared at the Blue Dood’s Marauding Captain. (Depressed Kid: 300 Life Points, Random Blue Dood: 200 Life Points)

(SSRSR: 1400 Attack Points, Marauding Captain: 1200 Attack Points)

“Let’s watch a duel!” Jaden said, leading himself, Syrus, and Bastion into the Duel Dome to watch the train wreck in progress.

“Good useless idea!” Bastion said. “Using the science behind badly-written anime shows, we’ll DEFINITELY be able to figure out who the Duel Giant REALLY is by JUST watching this duel.”

 

Suddenly, Jaden’s face appeared in somebody’s crosshairs. They readied themselves to shoot their rifle, but Bastion stood up. “Fred, no, she told you to MONITOR, not ASSASSINATE.”

Fluffy Fred put his gun away, sighing, “Aw, okay, boss.”

“Hmm,” said the Depressed Boy, “I’ve got the Earthquake card in my hand, which by nondescript means, will allow me to win this duel…”

“Yo! He’s gonna WIN!” supported Jaden.

“Naw, he’s gonna LOSE!” disagreed three obelisk Blues.

Aw, crap, their support and non-support has made me feel nervous beyond comprehension… Depressed Boy just kinda looked at his hand. “Um, I’ll use this… no no no, I’ll use this… wait, I’ll use— ”

“Just hurry up!” ordered the Obelisk Blue guy. “You’re taking an irritatingly long amount of time to LOSE!”

“Um, eenie… meeny…”

“MINEY MOE!! YOU HAVE TWO CARDS TO USE!! JUST PICK ONE ALREADY!!”

“My-mother-told-me-to-pick-the-very-best-one-and-you-are-iiiiiit…” Depressed Boy pointed to one of his two cards. “… But-actually-you-are-the-best-one-al-though-this-one-could-be…”

“This is STUPID!!” the Obelisk guys realized! “He’s gonna LOSE!”

“This is SMART!!” Jaden guy realized! “He’s gonna WIN!”

“Okay, now you’re just screwin’ with us.”

“Heh heh, yeah!”

“IENDMYTURN!!” Depressed Boy spat out! Due to stupidity, his rhino guy exploded, thus ending the match. “Augh, I lost due to stupid reasons unknown!”

 

“Hmm,” Bastion mused, “that boy has a classic case of stage fright.”

“But in the TV shows I watch, the kids ALWAYS surpass their fear and finish the school play!” Jaden said, confused. “THAT can’t be stage fright.”

“No, the real world doesn’t work that way, like, ever,” Syrus broke to him.

“HUUUUUUUH?!?!”

 

“Wow, that was DUMB!” the Obelisk guy laughed! “You’re too shy to win, ‘cause you could’ve beaten me right there! But you were DUMB! Ha ha!”

Noooooooo, thought Depressed Kid, Fools, fools all of them! Just FOOLS!! Depressed Kid got up and tried to leave with as much dignity as the script would allow.

“Hahahaha,” laughed the Obelisk Quartet, “He’s so wimpy that I think I’M depressed now! Hahaha, aw.”

Depressed Kid walked away… but with a VENGEANCE. AND A LAME DRAMATIC EFFECT.

“OOH,” ‘ooh’-ed Winged Kuriboh, suddenly flying out of Jaden’s pocket and deck box!

“Oh, no you don’t!” Jaden grabbed Winged Kuriboh forcefully!

“OOH, OOH.”

“Back you go!” Jaden shoved Winged Kuriboh back into the card, from whence he came. “You’re lucky! I only use you since you have an okay effect!”

 

“Oh my gosh! Look!” Syrus gasped, pointing to a big guy who helped usher out Depressed Kid. He was both tall, AND fat! Or big-boned. “That guy HAS to be the DUEL GIANT!!”

“REALLY?! WHERE?!” Fluffy Fred appeared out of nowhere, trying to push Jaden out of the way.

“Augh! Aren’t you just supposed to MONITOR, not SHOVE, dude?!”

“Oh, him?” Bastion took a peek. “Oh, AHAHAHAHAHA he’s no duelist, Sy, he’s Big Kid, just at this school to learn how to DESIGN games, not PLAY them.”

“What was up with that sudden switch from laughing to talking! There was NO comma in there! What’s the deal?!” But Syrus was ignored. Don’t worry, consoled his massive hairdo, this will ALL work out in the end, just you wait and see...

“Well, who cares what YOU all think, suckas!” Jaden ran out of the Duel Dome, in hot pursuit of the two guys!

“Wait up, Jay!” pleaded Syrus! He and the rest followed him.

 

“Yo!” Jaden called out to Depressed Kid and Big Kid. “Are you the Duel Giant?”

“Waah!” Big Kid gasped!

“There’s no such thing as the Duel Giant!” Depressed Kid said.

“Really?”

“No!” Depressed Kid turned around with Big Kid and walked away.

“Really?”

“No!”

“Reeeeeally, yo?”

“No!”

“I think there IS no Duel Giant,” Syrus said, “I mean, he said ‘no’ four times!”

“Well, we’ll just have to put that… to the test. I know how to flush out ‘da Duel Giant, yo!” Jaden said!

“Oh, really?” Fluffy Fred inquired.

“Tell us, now!” Bastion urged!

 

LATER! THAT!! NIGHT!!!

“I didn’t think this was what you were talking about earlier,” Bastion sighed, tied up with Fluffy Fred on a tree.

“Syrus, he can still speak! Tie him tighter!” ordered Jaden!

“Okay.”

“Ugh!” Syrus pulled on the ropes, making them MUCH tighter.

“The scent of fear and a blue coat shall drive the giant from the wilderness!” Syrus poetically put the plan. “What a great idea.”

WHOOSH.

Out of nowhere but a gust of wind, the Duel Giant appeared!

“Woah, he looks just as stupid as I’d imagined!” Jaden whispered in awe.

“Oh, crap, he’s gonna DUEL us!!” Fluffy Fred screamed! “Get me outer here!!”

“Yo, Mr. Duel Giant IDIOT!!” Jaden name-called! “Let’s THROW DOWN!!”

“… OKAY,” the Duel Giant said, giving in immediately.

“Okay, then, uh… GET YOUR GAME ON!!”

“BOO,” somebody yelled.

 

[spoiler=Part Two]

Yu-Gi-Oh! GX! The Fan Fic

Episode 16

Part Two

 

Jaden, Syrus, and the Duel Giant stood facing each other from opposite ends of a forested area of the island. Slowly pointing to his foe, Jaden challenged, “So what’re we just standin’ there for, foo’? Let’s get this DUEL started!”

“Well, why are WE TIED TO A TREE, FOR THAT MATTER?!?!” Fluffy Fred shouted.

“Easy, Fred,” Bastion calmed, “it’s of no use. They’ll probably forget about us and somebody’ll find us in the morning.”

“B-but Bastion, I’m so scared!” Fluffy Fred sobbed.

 

“OOH,” Winged Kuriboh cooed, floating out of… Jaden’s back pocket…?!

“Wh-WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING IN THERE?!” Jaden roared!

“What’s wrong, Jaden?!” Syrus gasped! “Who’re you screaming at?!”

“I AM TIRED OF YOU AND YOUR STUPID… STUPID SHENANIGANS, YOU LITTLE TURD!!” Jaden grabbed Winged Kuriboh and hurled him far away off of the island!

“And I NEVER wanna see YOU AGAIN!!” Jaden added, for good effect.

“RUN, SYRUS!” Bastion urged! “HE’S GONNA BLOW!!”

“WAAH, WHY MUST YOU HATE ME?!” Syrus ran off, crying.

“NO, SYRUUUUUUS!!” screamed Jaden, reaching out his right arm! “Oh, well, he’ll come back… he ALWAYS comes back, right?”

“Uh, what cod ahr you bet ’n’?” the Duel Giant asked in his funny voice.

“Ha ha ha, you speak funny,” Jaden laughed.

“WHAT COD?!”

“This guy, duh!” Jaden held out Winged Kuriboh! “Now it really DOESN’T matter if I win or lose!” The Duel Giant was already holding out his own Winged Kuriboh card.

“Um…”

“Oh, son of a jabroni!” Jaden cursed! “Fine, let’s just play.”

“Awright, duelisht!” The Duel Giant activated his Duel Disk! “Afterr you, I’ll jush duel THOSHE guysh behin’ you.”

“Jaden, it REALLY matters if you win or lose again, I mean it,” said Bastion, wiggling in fear.

“Hey, stop wiggling!” Fluffy Fred recoiled! “It’s uncomfortable!”

“Oh well I’m sorry.”

 

“LET’S GET YOUR GAME ON, SHALL WEEEEEE?!” Jaden roared heroically!

“BOO,” someone yelled.

“IF YOU INSHISHT!!” roared the Duel Giant! “I summon GIANT ORC, in ATTACK MODE!” A grey, ugly, piggish demon dude appeared… WITH A GIANT BONE CLUB!! But he looked pathetic compared to his card art.

“Um… beware my power?” he shivered. (Giant Orc: 2200 Attack Points)

“He looks pathetic!” Jaden stated! “Just like you! I mean, you’re funny looking! I’m allowed to say that since you’re evil and stuff!”

“Well, I’ll end my turn.. MISHTER MEAN!!” the Duel Giant yelled!

 

“OOH,” cried Jaden’s next card.

“Aw, shaddap! You bring me nothing but a Threatening Roar effect!” Jaden growled! “I summon Winged Kuriboh in ATTACK Mode, yo!” And lo and behold, the puffy dude appeared suddenly.

(Winged Kuriboh: 200 Attack Points) “OOH.”

“What a dumb move!” the Duel Giant laughed! “That thing couln’ even defen’ againsht a bug!”

“Did I NOT just explain what he did? Just go, BIG guy.”

“’Den I will! Dish’ll be a turn to remember!”

“Dude, ANYTHING a weirdo does is memorable.”

“GRR, you’ll pay fer ‘dat lassht statement! Giant Orc, attack the Winged Kuriboh!” The Duel Giant’s lowly-looking orc hit the puff with his bone. He exploded in a fiery poof.

“Ha, I lose no Life Points the turn he’s killed!” Jaden laughed! “Plus, your orc goes into Defense Mode after he attacks!”

“NOT QUITE!!”

“N… not quite?!” Bastion gasped!

“I summon Secon’ Goblin an’ equip him to my Orc!” DG summoned a short, reddish goblin.

“Don’t go into Defense Mode!” he yelled.

“Okay,” said Giant Orc. He simply stood there.

“Stupid Union Monsters! They’re largely forgotten!” Jaden looked at his hand, which contained The Warrior Returning Alive, Bubbleman, Burstinatrix, Sparkman, and Clayman. Hmm, I’m SUPPOSED to summon Rampart Blaster in this episode, buuuut… nah, screw it all! I’m an original, yo! “I’m gonna do the SMART thing in THIS episode!”

“But that’s against the script!!” cried Fluffy Fred!

“The script can go to HECK for all I care! I use Polymerization to fuse Elemental Heroes Sparkman and Clayman to form Elemental hero Thunder Giant!” Jaden summoned forth a cool whirlwind of fusion-stuffs, which absorbed the two heroes from his hand somehow! The whirlwind of fusion-stuffs faded away, releasing the big thundery electric guy we all know and love!

“RAHR!” he roared! (Thunder Giant: 2400 Attack Points)

“Next,” Jaden continued, “I use the Warrior Returning Alive to get back AND summon mah peep, Sparkman!” Sparkman rose from the grave, covered in arrows, looking all beat up and stuff.

“HU-HA!!” he yelled, flexing his muscles, and somehow recovering from all of his injuries! Sadly the arrows were still stuck in him, somehow. (Sparkman: 1600 Attack Points)

 

“And THEN I’ll use Thunder Giant’s ability to discard one card and kill one monster weaker than him!” Jaden threw out his silly old BUBBLEMAN and gave Thunder Giant the power! The power to summon a lightning bolt to strike Giant Orc and his friend into submission!!

“Waaaaah, I told you not to go into Defense Mode!!” cried Second Goblin! The twosome blew up.

“Wow, why didn’t they do this in the original?” Bastion asked.

“Hmph, dish ain’t sho tuff,” the Duel Giant huffed, “I’ve eaten bigger babies ‘den you for BREAKFASHT!”

Jaden shook his head. “Okay, first, my monsters’ Attack Points add up to four-thousand EXACTLY. Second, your field is COMPLETELY empty, as you laid out absolutely ZERO protection, which was one of the dumb-assiest things you’ve ever done. Third, YOU EAT BABIES FOR BREAKFAST?! That is SO UN-ETHICAL!!”

“Huh?! Wait, no, I din’t mean it like ‘dat…”

“SYRUS BOMBER!!” Jaden swung Syrus at the Duel Giant’s head, knocking off all of the coats in the process!

“Where did I just come from?!” Syrus wondered aloud. But who cares, since the Duel Giant was ACTUALLY… TWISTHEAD AND MOE, THE JERKS FROM EPISODE EIGHT STANDING ON EACH OTHER’S SHOULDERS!!

“I saw that coming!” Bastion admitted.

 

“Aw, dude, our secret’s out!” cried Twisthead!

“Argh, you ass-butts! We’ll duel you!” Moe threatened!

“Jaden, don’t let him duel me!!” Syrus cried!

“Don’t worry! CHUMLEY BOMBER!!” Jaden cried! Suddenly, over a mile away, in the Slifer Toolshed, eating a grilled cheese and eucalyptus sammich with some Koala Juice on the side, Koala Ko Ala heard him.

“Ah, the signal!” he gasped! Koala Ko Ala jumped out of bed and leaped out of the window, into the sea.

 

Meanwhile back with the shocking results, a large wind began picking up. “What’s up with this wind?” Fluffy Fred asked.

“This could only mean one thing…” Syrus predicted, “the Chumley Bomber attack worked!”

“W-who’s Chumley?!” asked Twisthead, in a panic!

NEEEEEREEEEREEEOOOOOOW, went the sound effect. Over the ocean, over the forest, Koala Ko Ala was flying like a missile, with his arms spread out wide, and a serious look on his face! He dove into the underbrush, dodging trees like only a flying koala could! And then the two menaces were in sight.

“CRAP, HE’S GONNA CRASH!!” cried Moe! Koala Ko Ala inexplicably flew RIGHT THROUGH THEM… but left handcuffs on both guys. “Huh?”

“Where’d the cuffs come from?”

“Don’t ask me,” Syrus syed. And Koala Ko Ala flew into the night sky…

 

“I’ll be takin’ it from ‘ere, boys,” said Dustin the Old Copper, the old man from episode two, stepping out of nowhere. “You rascals jus’ run on home, I’ll be haulin’ these two kids ta’ jail.”

“Wait, JAIL?!”

“Yeah, they ATE BABIES!” Dustin the Old Copper said. “Whuzz’wrong wit’ that? EVERYTHING. Let’s go.”

“But it’s a figure of speech!” the kids pleaded, unsuccessfully. He pushed the two kids off screen… FOREVER…

 

“Well, this was a dumb one,” said the entire cast of characters standing around in Dustin the Old Copper’s wake.

“Oh and you’re not really getting your free year of no homework after all, hahaha,” laughed Crowler, appearing outta nowhere, somehow.

“Aw dammit!” Jaden cursed, shrugging with a smile as the screen faded to black with cartoony background music.

 

 

 

[Weather Report - Stand]

This is one of those episodes I was looking forward to for a while. And for those wondering, the TV gag is parodying a commercial from 4Kids.

 

[spoiler=Episode Seventeen: Nature of the Draw][spoiler=Part One]

“C’mon, guys, why don’cha wanna watch the NINJA TURTLES with me?”

“No way! After the Ninja Tumors incident, I can only look upon them with fear and loathing!”

“Just this once? They’re cool, and they say ‘what the shell’ and make it cool!”

“… Okay, but only if Koala Ko Ala’s watching it too.”

“…?! Don’t drag ME into this!!”

“Who cares?” Jaden turned on the telly. And I’m not British, but who cares what kind of slang I use.

 

The screen showed a shot of Duel Academy as the Yu-Gi-Oh! GX theme song started up. A bell rang! “What kind of commercial are we watching?” Syrus asked.

“Duh, for OUR show, Sy! Don’t be raggin’ on our swag!”

“What?” Then the screen showed rows and rows of Ra Yellow kids sitting in class, then a shot of Jaden sitting around Tyranno Hassleberry…? And Chazz in a black coat?!?!

“A typical day at my school… is anything but!” TV-Jaden explained.

“WHAAAAAAAAT?!?!” real Jaden screamed! “I don’t TALK like that?!”

“And who was that black guy! What was up with Chazz’s coat!” Koala Ko Ala yelled!

“NO black kids go to KAIBALAND Duel Academy, the show just wasn’t tolerant of other cultures beside Japanese and American in Season One!” Syrus said, enraged!

 

A 3-D shot of a folder fell, and a report card decorated with the show’s logo fell out. “What were they TOO CHEAP to make a REGULAR DRAWING of a FALLING FOLDER?!” nitpicked Koala Ko Ala.

“DUELING 101,” shouted the screen, as we were treated to a shot of Sparkman flying out of nowhere, Hassleberry shoutin’ “DUDE, ‘YER ABOUT TO GET SCHOOLED” and an Infernal Incinerator punching Jaden.

“WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THAT?!?!” Jaden screamed!

“THEY DON’T EVEN TELL US WHO THAT GUY IS, AND THE SCENES DON’T WORK!!” Syrus added!

“WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?!?!” Koala Ko Ala wondered.

 

“SCIENCE OF MONSTERS,” the thing said again. It showed Volcanic Doomfire hitting Jaden with a fireball as Jaden screamed something unintelligible.

“WHAT WAS THE POINT?! WHERE’S THE SCIENCE?!”

“AND WE DON’T EVEN HAVE THAT CLASS AT DUEL ACADEMY! WHAT, WERE THEY ASLEEP?!”

“WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?!?!”

 

“DECK ASSEMBLY,” the thing said once more, and Jaden held out Elemental Hero Neos!

“Deck don’t fail me now!” TV-Jaden urged, and Neos appeared in a flash of light! “Get your game on!”

“WHO IS THAT GUY, AND I DON’T SAY THAT PHRASE A LOT! WHAT, AM I SUPPOSED TO?!”

“ACTUALLY YOU ARE!! BUT WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH BUILDING A DECK?!?!”

“WHAT were they THINKING?!?!”

“Yu-Gi-Oh GX, now commin’ on the CW11, 11:30 today!”

“THIS is going on your PERMANENT RECORD!!” screamed Crowler.

“Sweet!” Jaden said in response.

 

“NOBODY WANTS THAT ON THEIR PERMANENT RECORD!!”

“WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?!?!”

“I’M TAKING THIS DOWN ONCE AND FOR ALL!!” Koala Ko Ala picked up the television and threw it out the window forcefully! Then his friends stared at him with hatred. “Whoops, that was our only TV…”

The two stared at him, and merely shouted: “FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUU—”

 

Yu-Gi-Oh! GX! The Fan Fic

Episode 17: Nature of the Draw

Part One

 

The guitar this time around played a supportive tune, trying to help Jaden and Syrus in their race against time… for their lives…

“Jay-DUN!” Complained Syrus, “Wait up, you’re too fast!”

“No can do, buckaroo,” Jaden explained, “because today is Tuesday. And everybody knows that Tuesday night is Sammich night!” The duo dashed into the Obelisk cafeteria, which graciously opened its doors to the lowlifes in the other dorms on Tuesday nights, to give them what they want: SAMMICHES!! No, not SANDWICHES, these Sammiches are made from only the best quality duel bread, the most delicious and creamy duel cheese, and fulfilling duel ham. And best of all… every Sammich was built with a SECRET INGREDIENT that could ONLY be revealed upon opening the Sammich Capsule, the witty name for the paper packaging containing every holy Sammich inside! And these Sammiches are SO good… that you can say that a sandwich is a ‘Sammich’, in slang terms, as I often do… BUT THIS IS WHERE THE TERM CAME FROM.

 

There was a small group surrounding a cart filled with Sammiches to the brim! “Yo, Sy! They left ‘em ALL ‘fer ‘da main characters!” Jaden happily exclaimed!

“Nah, we just got here first, before the stampede.” Syrus pointed towards the corridor they’d just left, which was now, far at the end, filled with an angry mob, fast approaching!

“I WANT MAH SAMMICH!!” a brute roared!

“Oh, so we’ve got time,” Jaden said. “Now it’s time to find the holy grail of all Sammiches… the Egg McSammichMeal. It was filled with the best kind of egg in existence, the duel egg, and it tasted like ascension into heaven itself… if it were in your taste buds!

“Now, Jaden,” Syrus warned, “be careful. You haven’t gotten the Egg McSammichMeal in five weeks, and all of this built-up sexual tension will inevitably grant you one trip to the hospital for your poor, aching heart from all the stress of failure! And you KNOW what happened LAST week…”

“Yeah, I fell asleep before the Obelisk café opened up!”

“Oh, well then there’s nothing to compare the pain to. Enjoy your first taste of real heart-rending pain!”

“… This is why nobody likes you, Sy.” Jaden reached in, down to his shoulder. Now, if I can just focus my Duel Energy… THERE IT IS!!! Jaden could see, clearly, with his mind’s eye one shining Sammich. THERE’S THE WEAK POINT!! Jaden stretched as far as he could, trying to grow a few more inches to reach it, without thinking of just walking over to the other side of the cart and picking it up…

 

C’mon, Jay, Syrus believed, You can do it. If you can’t, who ELSE could I look up to? Zane Truesdale walked past him. …Nah.

“Hey, that guy’s trying REALLY hard!” a random Ra Yellow guy noticed!

“Oh yeah, I haven’t seen Duel Energy like that in YEARS!” remembered Janitorboy Ikkaku, passin’ by. “Let’s support’m!”

“YEAH!!” The entire present student body clenched their fists by their hearts and bent down slightly, giving off an intense aura of anticipation! You can do it, I know you can…

Don’t give up, I don’t know what else to do!!

Did I leave the sink on at home? In a random Obelisk Blue room, a kid had left on his faucet… with a hi-LARIOUS outcome! What kind? STAY TUNED…

 

Jaden finally pressed upon the Sammich with his fingers! OH…! The air was edgy with tension and imagination! Jaden managed to pull the Sammich closer with his fingertips, until… YES!! He grabbed it!

“YA-HA!!” he laughed with victory!

“OH YEEEEEEEEEAH!!” screamed the audience, roaring with the sweet smell of success! I wish it made sense! Jaden pulled apart the wrapper haphazardly and a Sammich filled with barbeque pork inside splattered onto the floor. Jaden’s heart stopped for a few seconds and he fell over.

“Aw, crap, just a Barbeque McSammichMeal,” Jaden morosely narrated.

“Aw, come on…” The audience got sad and left.

“Great work, Jaden,” Syrus congratulated, “you brought together the entire student body, only to fail them at the last second.”

“The shock totally made me die for a few seconds out there, yo,” Jaden informed.

 

“Gee, looks like the ‘Yu’ only works with cards… most of the time.” Alexis had walked into the room, holding two Sammiches!

“Holy crap, Alexis!” Jaden gasped! “Looking at you, holdin’ ‘dose two Sammiches makes you look JUST like the 2008 Sammich Eating World Grand Prix ’08 winner!!” Jaden flashed back to a time where he watched TV at his house. Alexis was on the screen during the ‘2008 Sammich Eating World Grand Prix ‘08’ LIVE broadcast, and she had just WON, after eating seventy-six in a row.

“How does it feel to eat a lot of Sammiches and win a grand prize?” asked the announcer, an old-ish man clad in sunglasses and suit.

“Well, they’re small sandwiches, so they’re easy to eat, I guess,” Alexis told. Then she simply took two Sammiches, which was the final picture of her ever broadcast, and she grabbed her massive, solid gold, Sammich-shaped trophy and the hilariously oversized check for $1,000 in American money. Then she walked off the set and the property, never to be seen again…

“I bet she DUELS as well as she EATS!!” Jaden laughed.

“BOO,” somebody said.

“What the—”

 

“And since that lady left with TWO Sammiches, you look JUST like her! And sound like her. And have a similar, freakishly large boob size, too. Frankly, the women in this show are anatomically incorrect, right Sy?”

“Huh?” Syrus asked.

“Wha-YOU’RE WRONG!!” Alexis accused, blushing furiously! “I was just practicing my drawing skills!”

“Ha, NOBODY does THAT here, not even the BIGGEST Duel Monsters nerds, yo!”

“Well, fine, I DO like eating Sammiches.” Alexis ate her Sammich like a pro.

“Yo! Only a PRO WORLD CHAMPION would eat a SAMMICH like THAT!!” Jaden screamed!

“What did I just tell you…”

“It’s true, Jaden!” Ms. Dorothy, the shop lady, said as she walked into sight. “She really DIDN’T draw the Egg McSammichMeal!”

“… I wasn’t asking her about that, ma’am,” Jaden respectfully informed.

“Well, how was I to know?” huffed Ms. Dorothy haughtily. “I mean, how’s a woman supposed to know what you kids are talkin’ about, bein’ all conflicted with their American Idol, Nintendo Wii, remote controls, and their laptops!”

“But the Wii might be out of date by the time SOME readers get around to this story!” Syrus cried!

“Well, you might be right, but that’ll happen by the time you’re as old and un-hip with the kids as I am!”

“WHAAAAT?! NOOOOOO!!” cried Jaden and Syrus! “BEING INFORMED OF MY OWN MORTALITY HAS PUT ME IN DISPAIR!!”

 

“Well, more to the point of why I’m here,” Ms. Dorothy began, “nobody’s drawn the Egg McSammichMeal in FIVE weeks! This means that somebody’s probably been sneaking into our Secret Sammich Storeroom, or Triple-S, and stealing them!”

“The FIEND!” Jaden and Alexis roared!

“What’re YOU so fired up about?”

“Sammiches. And you?”

“Sammiches.” Finally, they’d found something to talk about. “Before we have a big Sammich discussion, we’ve gotta find out who’s stealin’ ‘dem Sammiches! Only a guy with REALLY high Duel Energy could hope to break into the Triple-S! Time to post a twenty-fo’-seven stakeout by the Sammiches!”

“Yeah!” agreed Alexis!

“And Syrus too.”

Heh, I got’m, Ms. Dorothy evilly thought, successful.

“WHAAAAAAAA—” Syrus was cut off as the massive crowds that burst into the room, described much earlier. They were utterly trampled.

 

LATER! THAT!! DAY!!!

It was late at night, and the kids were safeguarding the Triple-S, which was a small fridge in a random room covered in posters with a movie star and his HUGE nose. Jaden, Syrus, and even Koala Ko Ala were sitting around, as Alexis sat by a computer. “Well, at least I get some screen time today,” Koala Ko Ala sighed. “WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE SO BORING?!”

“It could be LESS boring if we play cards,” Syrus suggested, taking out some playing cards.

“FOOL!” Jaden roared, slapping the cards from his hand!

“YEOO-HA-HOOW!!”

“How DARE you bring in REGULAR cards, man? We TRUSTED you!” Jaden sobbed!

“Well, gosh, man! You didn’t have to slap so har—”

“OF COURSE, YOU DELUDED SHELL OF A MAN!! TELL’M, ALEXIS!!” ordered Jaden! But Alexis wasn’t listening.

That man will DIE for defiling the Sammich name, Alexis brooded.

“I got snacks!” said Ms. Dorothy, entering the room with rice balls.

“Yay! We’re skipping the filler minutes!” Koala Ko Ala cheered!

 

Later, after some skippage, the lights were off, and the tension was THICK. Everybody was hiding under the table. “But Jay-DUN,” Syrus complained, “they’ll OBVIOUSLY notice us under the table!”

“Well, look who’s gettin’ un in mah grill now! Shut up and they won’t notice you.”

“Works for me?” There was a thump outside. “EEP!” The foursome held their breath. A shadow appeared by the door. A TARZAN-MAN BROKE THE DOOR IN HALF WITH ONE PUNCH!! He stepped through, showing off his MASSIVE PECS and TOUGH SIX-PACK, wearing just a pair of pants, which was stupid and possible cold. He looked down at them.

“You’re under a…” He shook off the idea and walked over to the Triple-S refridgerator! It’s the Egg McSammichMeal!! Jaden mentally gasped! “UUUUUUURYYAAAAAAH!!” he roared, as he ripped the fridge from its foundations and lugged it off! He’s an animal... Syrus awed.

“NOW!!” Alexis flipped the table over and flipped on the light switch!

“Ahh, the light! It burns!” Tarzan-man screamed, dropping the fridge! “Ugh, there WERE people under that table!”

 

“STOP, THIEF!!” Jaden shouted! The guy froze. Oh no! Should I run? He screamed at me! Wait, I’ll just counter him! Tarzan was the man with the plan!

“AAAAAH, A-A-A-A-AAAAAAAH!!” he rumbled, letting loose a great Tarzan yell! But was it any surprise?

“Ahh! He screamed!” Jaden, Koala Ko Ala and Syrus froze!

“IDIOOOOOOOTS!!” Alexis leaped over the boys and tried to grab the felon!

Damn, seriously, thought Jaden, disgusted, put some underwear on for Pete’s sake! And that brings us back to this: WHY do these women have to wear such short skirts? It’s out-and-out sexual harassment, yo! WHO’S RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS?!?! Meanwhile, Chancellor Shepherd was sleeping peacefully, even after all the horrors he’d indirectly caused Jaden to witness.

 

Meanwhile again, the tough guy leaped onto the Triple-S and somehow rode off on it, like a snowboard! “DAMN him and his physics-defying of the universe!” Alexis turned to Jaden and ‘da boys. “GET ON!!”

“Not until you show some self-decency round here, young lady, yo!” Jaden ordered sternly!

“NOW!!”

“Okay.” The three leaped onto Alexis’ back and she took off on her belly! They were in hot pursuit of the Sammich-stealer, riding their friend as a snowboard, just as the villain was doing with the Triple-S! It looked quite hilarious, I assure you!

 

They came to the roof of the school and were still going strong. “Man, that dude sure knows how to work a fridge!” Jaden complimented! But they were coming to the end of the road. The rooftop was ending a few feet ahead! Or meters if you live in that kind of country!

“HOOOOO-AAH!!” the villain-of-the-week shouted, taking off of the edge into the forest, his snowboard becoming a HOVERBOARD fridge!

“Aw crap!” Syrus cursed! “Alexis, can you fly!”

“No, I can’t!” Alexis made a hard right turn, making everybody fall off onto the roof. “Maybe I could if Koala Ko Ala weren’t here, but not in THIS episode!” Alexis explained as she stood up.

“Yeah, I’m hindering you!” Koala Ko Ala cheered! But this was no laughing matter.

“WAIT! I know a shortcut to the waterfall described in this script!” Alexis revealed, holding up the script!

“Let’s go!” shouted Jaden, as the gang rode Alexis off into parts unknown.

 

Meanwhile, as I frequently say, the enemy-dude was flyin’ around until he came to a clearing… by a waterfall! “Uh-oh!” he gasped, as the good guys were just coming out of a stairway that appropriately led up to that exact area! How DO they build those here?

“How DO they build these things?” Syrus asked.

“Dude, if you live here, you LEARN not to ask such things,” Jaden explained. “Now return our Sammiches at once!”

“SAMMICHES!!” Alexis roared for extra effect!

How DID they get here so fast through that deux ex machina as I was flying so fast to get here? thought the dude. No matter, for I shall climb! Tarzan-ish jumped onto the waterfall’s surface and used helpful rocks to climb up!

“Aw man, you just can’t stop this guy, you just can’t!” informed Koala Ko Ala!

“Is that DAN?!” gasped an old-ish person! Ms. Dorothy dashed out of the staircase! “Dan the Drawer?”

The muscular man gasped! “How DO you know my NAME?” he asked, from atop the falls. He leaped off, expertly, onto the ground of the jungle (On Duel Academy Island?!) floor.

“Dan the Drawer, of COURSE I recognize you!” Ms. Dorothy recalled.

“How did you run up all those stairs?” asked Koala Ko Ala.

“I did. But this kid over here used to be an Obelisk Blue! SIX MONTHS AGO.”

“Time travel!” guessed Jaden.

“Maybe, but probably not. See, here’s my Long-Winded Gramma’s Family Tales Number One: Dan the Drawer…”

 

Way, way back to before Jaden ever mattered, there was a guy. A guy with a bowl-cut hairdo and large nose. He liked eating Sammiches as much as the next guy, but had a problem…

“UGH!” screamed Dan the Drawer, “CHEESE McSammichMeal?! Darn you world, you KNOW I’m lactose intolerant!”

“Looks like you made a bad draw today,” somebody said.

“WHO SAID THAT… oh, what does it matter?” Dan the Drawer, who was famous for his bad draws, retreated in pain and silence.

 

“But how are THEY the same guy?!” Syrus asked. “The hair color, which was black but now greenish, and the nose, which now is smaller, and the fact that he’s ALMOST A FOOT TALLER THAN BEFORE, AND TWICE AS WIDE, are ALL different!”

“I’m a changed man,” Dan the Drawer said.

“Oh well that’s okay then.”

“See, I used to be a good student… but then, when I dueled as an Obelisk, everything turned for the worst…”

 

“Awright,” he told himself in the good ol’ days inside the Duel Dome against another guy, “time to take down Jinzo!” Jinzo was on the opposing side, just to let you know. “Here goes!” His hand contained The Left Leg of the Forbidden One, the Right Leg of the Forbidden One, The Left Arm of the Forbidden One, and The Right Arm of the Forbidden One. All he needed was Exodia’s head…

 

He drew Lolwut, a monster featuring an emoticon with happy eyes and a tongue hanging out of a smile. Lol u lose said its description. “Looks like you made a bad draw today,” somebody said.

“NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” cried Dan the Drawer! Yes, he’d drawn as his name suggested… but he drew BADLY ALL THE TIME!!

 

Deeply sadden by his fourth loss in a row since drawing bad cards, he decided that he was cursed. So he went out to look at the sea by the docks. “Stupid waves, always going back and forth!” he growled! “I ALWAYS know what’s coming next with YOU!” Then it hit him like somebody had smashed his face into the pavement, killing him instantly! “I CAN know what I’m drawing next! I’ll just tune myself to nature, Mother Nature ALWAYS comes through! Now to live in the wild!” He ripped off his shoes and coat and ran into the forests of the island, stupidly.

 

“So you ran away for months so that you could become a better card player? Even I wouldn’t do THAT much!” Jaden scoffed! “Duel Monsters nerd!”

“I am not a—”

“NERRRRRRRD YO!”

“Don’cha think your parents would be worried sick about you?” Syrus asked.

“No,” Dan the Drawer said, “barely ANY kids in anime have parents that get mentioned, so you’re just supposed to assume.”

“So… why have you been stealing Sammiches?” Koala Ko Ala asked.

“SAMMICHES!!” Alexis screamed!

“Calm down, Alexis, it’s not like Sammich is a religion!”

“YES. IT. IS.”

 

Dan the Drawer gulped. Wow, she’s crazy for Sammiches. “Well, I’ve been out here for six months, braving the brunt of nature’s powers…” He trudged through the snow through Winter, which helped make him tougher for when drawing cards under stress. He poured a bunch of cards into the waterfall as he stood behind it, meditating until the five best cards came falling down. Then he’d strike! “HOO HUH HAH HEE HUH!!” he grunted, clawing the cards out of the falls! He drew The Left Leg of the Forbidden One, the Right Leg of the Forbidden One, The Left Arm of the Forbidden One, The Right Arm of the Forbidden One, and Lolwut.

“Looks like you drew a bad card,” someone said.

“NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!”

 

“And since there is no food in the wild, of course, every week I’d steal the Egg McSammichMeal. And eat it.”

“But that thing’s so SMALL!!” Koala Ko Ala gasped, trying to show off a visual representation with his hands.

“How can a growing young hulking mass like you live off of one Sammich a week?” Ms. Dorothy concernedly worried.

“Well, honestly I’m quite hungry.”

“Why don’t you just come back to ‘da Duel Academy ‘hood, then, if you’re such a hungry DUEL MONS

TERS NERD!!”

“I AM NOT A—”

Alexis clutched their heads with her hands, threatening to crush them at any moment. “HEEEEEEEEEEE!!” screamed Syrus like the wimp he is.

“BOTH OF YOU. SKIP THE BACKSTORY AND GET BACK TO THE SHOW. JUST DUEL ALREADY. IF JADEN WINS, YOU COME BACK TO CIVILIZATION AND SHALL NEVER SULLY SAMMICHES AGAIN THROUGH THEFT. IF JADEN WINS, YOU GET ANOTHER SAMMICH. OKAY?”

“B-but that’s a CRAPPY reward on MY part—”

“NOW.”

“O…….okay…”

“Ow my head,” Jaden cried helplessly.

 

TO BE CONTINUED…

 

 

[spoiler=Part Two]

Yu-Gi-Oh! GX! The Fan Fic

Episode 17: Nature of the Draw

Part Two

 

The combatants stood around, facing each other. The audience-peoples stood idly as well. Alexis passed Jaden and Dan the Drawer a nasty glance… “WAAH!” Jaden and Dan the Drawer cried! “Uh, DUEL!!”

(Dan the Drawer: 4000 Life Points, Jaden Yuki: 4000 Life Points) “I SURE hope she doesn’t beat me up… anyways…” Jaden drew his card… YES!! “I summon Elemental Hero Avian!!”

“NO!!” shouted his friends and superiors! But it was too late. Avian appeared as stupidly as usual, in Attack Mode.

“Hey, guys!” he greeted. (Avian: 1000 Attack Points)

“YOU SUCK! GO AWAY!” Koala Ko Ala roared!

“That’s mean!”

“But I throw down a face-down, yo!” Jaden reassured!

“BOO,” someone said.

 

“My draw!” Dan the Drawer appropriately said! “I set my OWN face-down, and summon Drawler!” A giant metal man on steamroller wheels appeared, looking like nothing you’d expect from the name Drawler.

“HOW IS THAT RELATED TO THE NAME?!” Syrus panicked!

“But I can return my hand to my deck to give him 500 Attack and Defense Points for each one!” Dan the Drawer explained. Drawler glowed orange-y and grew STRONG!! (Drawler: 2000 Attack Points)

“It STILL DOESN’T WORK!!”

“WELL, ATTACK ANYWAYS!! ROLL-OVER STEAMROLLER ATTACK OF OBVIOUSNESS!!” The giant statue thing slowly rolled over into Avian’s path.

“Jaden,” Avian asked, “please don’t play me anymore.”

“Uh, okay, we’ll see how that goes.”

“UWAAAAAAHH!!” Avian cried, being smooshed oh-so graphically! “AAAAH, MY ORGANS!! THEY’VE RUPTURED!! AND MY BONES ARE BROKEN TOO!! WAAAAAAH!!” And then his chest was squished and he was unresponsive. All that was left of him as Drawler passed on by was a lot of blood, and Avian’s 2-D funny-looking paper-shaped corpse. Which exploded. (Jaden: 3000 Life Points)

“’Shoulda seen that coming,” he shrugged.

“Oh yeah, also,” Dan the Drawer recalled, “when Drawler kills a monster, it gets returned to the bottom of the deck, so don’t move’m to the Graveyard.”

“Okay,” Jaden complied.

“My turn’s over, I suppose.”

“KICK ‘IS ASS, JADEN!!” Alexis cheered!

 

“Heh, well I just drew…” Jaden flipped his new Spell card in his hands a few times with incredibly fluid animation, threw it into the air, caught it, bounced it off of his shoe, spun it on his finger—

“Just PLAY it already!” Koala Ko Ala ordered!

“Okay, yo, calm down, ‘CAUSE IT’S POLYMERIZATION!!” Using familiarly terrible special effects, he fused Clayman and Burstinatrix in order to form Elemental Hero Rampart Blaster!

“WHAT THE?!” Dan the Drawer gasped!

“If you’ve watched the show, I wouldn’t need to explain it to you, so just deal.” (Rampart Blaster: 2500 Defense Points)

“Hah, in DEFENSE Mode? What will THAT fat lady do for you in—”

“The only reason you don’t know the ability is because you’ve been in the forest for six months being a Duel Monsters nerd, so it’s YOUR fault! Now, hit’m with the missile action!!” Jaden told!

“I never realized that he was such a nerd,” Ms. Dorothy sighed, “and yet he never watched this show! I thought nerds LOVED terribly scripted shows taken from Japan!”

“You MAY want to tweak your definition of ‘nerd’, ma’am,” Syrus syed.

“OW!!” screamed Dan the Drawer!

“What did I miss?” Syrus asked.

“If you weren’t YAMMERIN’ so much, you’d have seen me get hit by missiles!! Ow!” (Dan the Drawer: 3000 Life Points)

“They’re neck and neck!” Ms. Dorothy exclaimed!

“Grr…. BUT NOT FOR LONG!!” exploded Dan the Drawer!

 

Hmm, Jaden noticed, this dude’s got a strange look in his eye… Dan the Drawer’s eyes were twitching way more than a normal man’s eyes should ever twitch. He looks all… twitchy. I hope this doesn’t mean something bad.

“I use Miracle Draw!” Dan the Drawer yelled! His Trap card represented somebody drawing a miracle. “When I draw, I guess what card I’m drawing! If I’m right, you lose 1000 Life Points! If I’m wrong, then I’m screwed!”

“Sounds good to me!” Jaden supposed.

Woah, thought Syrus.

He’s, thought Koala Ko Ala.

So, thought Ms. Dorothy.

Dumb, concluded Alexis. There are FORTY cards in that deck. How could he POSSIBLY choose the top… crap, this is an ANIME show! STATISTICS DON’T MATTER!!!!

“JADEN, LOOK OUT!!” warned Alexis!

“Don’t sweat, homes!” Jaden told her. “He’s gonna fail, alright, because he’s a Duel Monsters nerd!”

“Card Loan!” called Dan the Drawer! He drew a card called Card Loan.

“Oh.”

“Who’s the Duel Monsters nerd NOW?”

“YOU are, you CRAZY kid!” Jaden chuckled.

“Aw.” (Jaden: 3000 Life Points)

“Next, I activate this card!” He played Card Loan, which featured a hailstorm of cards, and one brave man willing to risk his life to grab ONE SPECIAL CARD. “You gain 1000 Life Points.” (Jaden: 3000 Life Points) “Then I pay 1000 Life Points.” (Dan the Drawer: 2000 Life Points) “Then I draw one card.”

“THAT’S SO STUPID!!” Syrus erupted! “No WONDER you always LOSE, your deck is full of CRAP!!”

“And Lolwut!” Ms. Dorothy added.

“Huh?”

“Hey, don’t make fun of my deck,” sniffed Dan the Drawer, wiping away a thousand tears. “Now I use Drawber!” A picture of a guy’s hand with a crooked finger and an empty safe appeared on the card which appeared on the field in front of Jaden and his homies in the forest by the waterfall. “Now that the run-on sentence is over, I guess what card YOU’RE about to draw! If I’m right, all cards in your hand and field are sent to the Graveyard!”

 

“THIS IS STUPIIIIIIIIIID!!” Jaden roared!

“WH-WH-WHAAAAAAAAAT?!?!” Dan the Drawer gasped!

“Why is it called ‘Drawber’? Why is there an empty safe on the card? It should have a sword on it, for ‘SABER’! Saber and draw makes ‘Drawber’! What’s so hard about THAT?!”

“It’s a pun on ROBBER, jackass!”

“Oh.” Jaden felt kinda sad and hurt for the insult. “Well, go ahead and guess.” Jaden held up his card with intense passion.

Okay, there’s no way he can guess what’s in the opponent’s deck, believed Alexis.

“De-Fusion!”

“Crap! Yo!” His cards faded away from the field and into oblivion. “But it would’ve been cooler as a sword.”

“Drawler, attack!” ordered Dan the Drawer! Drawler rolled into, and through, Jaden, as it was just a dumb hologram.

“IT SHOULD REALLY HUUUUUUURT!!” (Jaden: 1000 Life Points)

“Ha ha ha,” Dan the Drawer laughed, “I’m ready for that extra Sammich I was promised! Just give up and I’ll give you the inside!”

“No way!” raged Jaden! “EVERYONE knows that the BREAD is the best part!”

“He IS right,” Ms. Dorothy said.

“I summon Wroughtweiler in Defense Mode, and I’ll end my turn!” Jaden summoned a robot dog, and I have no idea why super heroes would have a robot dog. (Wroughtweiler: 1200 Defense Points) Jaden looked at Miracle Draw, still on Dan the Drawer’s field. “Aw, no way, yo! That’s a CONTINUOUS CARD?!?! That’s so… why didn’t you TELL me?”

“You never asked,” Dan the Drawer smiled.

“Oh yeah…”

 

“If he’s right one more time with Miracle Draw, Jaden loses!” Koala Ko Ala gasped!

“And knowing that Jaden’s supposed to win this game,” Alexis revealed, flipping through the script, “this means that we have to BELIEVE that he’ll be wrong!”

“Does that mean it’s over now?” asked Ms. Dorothy in the show, for absolutely no reason whatsoever.

“No,” Syrus said, bluntly. He paused, then asked, “WHY would you think that? Was there any INDICATION of it ending?”

“No—”

“Does t SOUND like it’s ending?”

“No—”

“THEN DON’T ASK IF IT’S OVER!!” yelled Syrus! Ms. Dorothy burst into tears.

“Oh, good job, Syrus,” Koala Ko Ala groaned, “you made an old lady cry! How COULD you?”

“Oh, is it bad when I do it, but you doing it is just fine?”

“I had an excuse that time!” Koala Ko Ala argued.

 

“AAAAAAND…” revved up Dan the Drawer, “I SHALL DRAW SHIELD CRUSH!!” He drew his card. It was Card of Sanctity! “Oh poop.” (Dan the Drawer: 1000 Life Points) “Well, I guess I’ll just use CARD OF SANCTITY!!” His card, a Spell, had happy people runnin’ ‘round in a hailstorm of MONEY!! “Now we both draw six cards! And I KNOW I’ll get just what I need…” A bunch of money fell down on the field! And it faded away, since it was just holograms. But in response, the two drew their cards.

“Sweet! I got a good hand!” Jaden cheered! “What about you?”

“Hmm…” Dan the Drawer drew his first five cards: Left Leg of the Forbidden One, Right Leg of the Forbidden One, Left Arm of the Forbidden One, Right Arm of the Forbidden One, and Lolwut. OH, COME ON!! Dan the Drawer gulped. It’s alright, I can do this… Exodia head… Exodia head! He drew Lolwut again. “WHY DO I HAVE TWOOOOOOOOOOO?!?!”

 

“Looks like you made a bad draw today,” said someone.

“What was that?” asked Jaden!

“Oh no, Def Leppard is coming out!!” screamed Dan the Drawer!

“D-D-D-DEF LEPPARD?!?!” Dan the Drawer fell to the ground and a spirit came out… no, it was a STAND!! Def Leppard had the head and neck of an ostrich, creepy human blue eyes, and wore spectacles. He wore a striped business suit and a polka-dotted bowtie. His arms were the arms of a wolf, with eagle talons on his paws as fingers. And instead of legs, he had a ghostly tail.

“WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING?!?!” Syrus screeched!!

“Get away!” Dan the Drawer cautioned! “Def Leppard’s Stand power is to cause bad luck… with his SHARP TALONS!!” Def Leppard dashed forward, gleaming claws held outward, aimed at Jaden’s heart!

“OH SHI—” Jaden had no time to finish his exclamation.

 

Avian, quick as a flash, flew out of the deck! “Don’t worry,” Avian yelled, “I SHALL protect you!!” He readied his fists of fury and got into perfect punching position… and got speared through the head and chest. “Well, THAT was disappointing.” Avian exploded.

“Oh no!” gasped Def Leppard! He disintegrated!

“Uh, I don’t read Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure, so I’m confused,” Koala Ko Ala sighed.

“Def Leppard’s OTHER ability was to die when he beats another Stand!” Dan the Drawer explained! “It’s such a bad ability, but now I’m FREE!” He leaped into the air, glowed, and regained his shirt, coat, shoes, small and un-muscular figure, big nose, and a haircut.

“So by losing the Stand you turn back to normal?” Alexis asked.

“Apparently.”

“That’s dumb.”

“Can I go home now?”

“Sure, I guess.”

“Okay.” Then, without a word, everybody awkwardly walked back to school.

 

THE! NEXT!! WEEK!!!

It was Sammich day again! The cafeteria was poppin’ with action and Sammich-eatin’ action! Jaden and Dan the Drawer were sticking their hands into the cart. They picked out their Sammich capsules and stared at each other. They slowly unwrapped them. “I got the Cherry Pie McSammichMeal,” Jaden sighed. “did YOU get the Egg McSammichMeal?”

“No, I got… Cheese McSammichMeal… and I’m still lactose intolerant. Plus there was a Lolwut card inside.” Dan the Drawer took four Lolwut cards out of his Sammich. “Oh wait, there were four.”

“I feel bad for you.”

“…”

 

Meanwhile, Alexis was eating her Egg McSammichMeal. She took a bite and stared at her Sammich. A tear dropped from her eye. Mother, she thought.

 

 

 

[Weather Report - Stand]

UPDATED. YEAH!!

[Weather Report - Stand]

Unlike most other chapters, lately I've only been getting comments from KaiKae or whatever his name is today. BUT WHY?! Why is it that I've only gotten criticism once, other than having my chapters get too big and canceling each other out! Why? Is there ANYWHERE where my comedy has failed us? Is there anything you really hate besides Piggybank for now until I do something cool with her? WHAT SHOULD I IMPROVE UPON?!?!

[Kaisu]

To be honest, I wouldn't really know. Maybe gone past it's prime already or something. Wait a bit, some mroe people should stream in and replace others, and you never know.

 

This thing just might become popular again..

[Weather Report - Stand]

Maybe... maybe...

[Kaisu]

Maybe..

 

Either way, can you check my fic?

 

You never actually did a proper reveiw :|

 

I might try to rip this up sometime.. Try..

[Des ＨＥＲＯ]

Oh sorry I was busy.However,busy is no excuse for me.

 

Lol I like Dan the drawer when he keeps getting bad draws like the lolwut part lol.

[Weather Report - Stand]

I feel bad for Dan the Drawer. Not only do I have to spell out the whole name every time, but his life is full of Lolwuts. Meanwhile, I'll get to that review for you KaiKae, today.

 

I've always hated it when fan fiction topics seemed to be just two-way conversations for several pages... but now I look like a hypocrite! AHH!! But seriously, we need more diversity, or I'll die of annoyance.

[Weather Report - Stand]

Yes, we all saw this one coming.

 

[spoiler= Episode Eighteen: The King of the Copycats - Part One][spoiler= Part One]Yu-Gi-Oh! GX! The Fan Fic

Episode 18: The King of Copycats – Part One

Part One

 

Awesome background music played, because it helps with the mood, I guess. Jaden entered the cafeteria where lunch was usually eaten to find a large crowd. “Boy, I wonder what’s goin’ on here?” he asked himself. And then he saw Bastion! And the Bastion Baseball Wreckers Gang! “Yo! How’s it hangin’?” Jaden greeted.

“Hmm, stuff-y,” sighed and shrugged Baseball Bob.

“What’s with the group here?” Jaden asked, trying to look over Beehive Larry’s inconvenient hairstyle. “Why does BEEHIVE LARRY have to stand in front of ME?” Jaden wondered.

“Oh, well—”

“Oh, ‘cause it’s Sammich day!”

“No, that was yesterday, Jaden! Plus, you’re never getting any ever again!” Bastion informed.

“Talk about harsh, yo! Why?”

“Because they’re never having an episode about those again. Either way, there’s a duel, and you KNOW how kids just can’t get enough of watching others play card games. Take a look.” Bastion stuck his hands into Beehive Larry’s hairstyle and ripped it apart.

“Ooh…” Jaden saw Barry the Beginner and his two face-down cards… facing Syrus and his weird red jet plane robot! “Yo! Syrus is dueling! How close is he to losin’?”

“He’s WINNING,” stressed Piggybank.

“THAT’S a surprise.” Jaden reached over to pick up a light-and-easy-to-carry kid in front of Beehive Larry (who didn’t notice) and threw him into the crowd, scattering it instantly! He walked through the new clearing and poked Syrus. “Poke,” he narrated.

“Don’t poke me! Oh, hi, Jaden,” greeted Syrus.

“So whatcha’ duelin’ ‘bout, yo?”

“Take a look.” Syrus pointed helpfully to THOUSANDS OF YUGI MOTO POSTERS PLASTERED ALL OVER EACH OTHER OVER THE LUNCH COUNTER!!

“That’s too much Yugi to handle! And I should know! Because I got a CRAPPY card from him!”

“Good for you, Jay. Now let me get into the zone…”

“What KINDA zone?”

“The kind where I win!” And as it closed in on Syrus’s INTENSE eyes, we cut to the theme song.

 

But then it’s over! And Jaden has been told ‘da scoop off-screen. “Oh, so you’re fighting over the right to see Yugi’s legendary deck which is on tour at Duel Academy first, and that’s why you’re playing Barry the Beginner?”

“No, apparently we’re dueling over the last available ticket. But it doesn’t matter; I just do what they tell me to,” Syrus shrugged, pulling out his script. “And I kinda want to see it, from what it says here.”

“Oh boy! He used that deck in the Duelist Kingdom arc, the Battle City arc, the filler arcs that lasted for YEARS, and in the last duel of the original series!” Jaden gasped! “D’you remember when we used to watch that show when we were kids?”

“No, I thought Yu-Gi-Oh was for nerds.”

“But you ARE a nerd!”

“I know… but I’d better duel now. Your move, Barry,” told Syrus.

“Alright!” Barry the Beginner said, in a very… Crowler voice… “Now, YUCKY Syrus-Boy, I use HEAVY STORM!” He held out Heavy Storm! “It will now destroy all of my EXCELLENT Spell and Trap cards, allowing me to BEAUTIFULLY beat you in battle!”

“I DON’T TALK LIKE THAT!!” screamed Crowler, but nobody cared. A large storm rocked the field! Two tokens that looked JUST like the ones from the first episode appeared!

“Oh, I remember those!” said Jaden. “They were sure dumb!”

“And now I sacrifice my two Wicked Tokens,” Barry the Beginner said, still using the horrid, brain-piercingly horrible British voice, making the two tokens fade away, “to summon the LEGENDARY ANCIENT GEAR GOLEM!!” And Ancient Gear Golem appeared. Yayz. (Ancient Gear Golem: 3000 Attack Points) “USE MECHANIZED MELEEEEEEEEEEEE!!” The giant robot punched at the red jet of dumb!

 

“No way, Mr. Ripoff-Guy-Who’ll-Get-Sued-Someday!” Syrus held out a Trap card! “When my Super Robot Jet Plane Robot is attacked, I can play a Trap from my hand! I’ll play Magic Cylinder!” Two cool cans appeared on the field, covered in magic incantations and such. The golem’s fist got stuck in one of them! He stood for a moment.

“Ugh! What happens next, Yucky Kid?!” Barry the Beginner asked.

“I DON’T TALK LIKE THAT!!” screamed Crowler, but nobody cared. And so a horrible grinding sound screeched out from the cylinders!

“AAAARGH, MY EEEEEEERZ!!” cried Syrus, Jaden, and everybody else! The golem was wiggling furiously! Suddenly, it got stuck in down to its shoulder! The robot struggled to get out, but to no avail.

“What’s going on?” asked Barry the Beginner!

“This!!” Syrus pointed at the cylinder, as Ancient Gear Golem pulled itself free of the cylindrical prison! Sadly, its arm was completely wrenched off, and was pulled back into the opening by a vortex of doom! Every available part of its body was broken apart and sucked in quite cruelly, and was consumed completely after a few more seconds.

“NO! MY ANCIENT GEAR GOLEM!!” Barry the Beginner sobbed! Suddenly, the second, previously idle cylinder glowed crimson and shook like something BIG was about to happen… and it did.

 

KABOOOOOSH!! The entire body of the giant fighting robot was expelled from the second can, like some guy spitting out some nasty foodstuffs! “AAAAAAAAAAAARG—OOF!!” Barry the Beginner was utterly crushed by the robotic carcass. (Barry the Beginner: 0 Life Points)

“Yay, I got a ticket to see Yugi’s deck!” celebrated Syrus, holding up the ticket they were fighting over!

“But what about me?” Jaden pleaded.

“Yay, I got TWO tickets to see Yugi’s deck!” celebrated Syrus, holding up a second ticket.

“But what about Koala Ko Ala?” asked Koala Ko Ala, walking into the area, jolly as ever.

“Nope!” Syrus told him. Koala Ko Ala merely stared at him coldly and backed out of the area.

“Talk about awesome, yo! Sy, yoo rool!!” They left the premises, and the large crowd decided to do the same thing, except for Bastion, leaving Barry the Beginner to mope on the ground in shame.

 

“That stupid Ra should’ve DESTROYED that Slifer Red…” muttered a Ra Yellow Extra.

“WHATCHOO SAY?!” asked a Slifer Red.

“DAT’S IT!!” The two opposing sides took out a crap-load of guns and began to fire at will, killing many. However, Bastion and his gang calmly walked through the fire and approached Barry the Beginner.

“First, a guy in SHADES mocks me…” Barry complained, “… then, I can’t get the name BASEBALL Barry…”

“Ulp,” gulped Baseball Bob, feeling responsible.

“… and now, everybody’s making fun of me because now I’m the ONLY kid in school who can’t see Yugi’s deck…” The gang looked at their tickets in their hands and quickly stashed them away in fear. “WELL, NO MORE!!” roared Baseball Barry!

“AAAAAAAHH, NO MORE WHAAAAAAAT?!?!” screamed Fluffy Fred!!

“I AM GOING TO STEAL YUGI’S DECK, AS I PROMISED SEVERAL EPISODES AGO!!” Barry the Beginner swore!

“Hmm, are you sure that’s a good idea?” Bastion checked.

“YES!!”

“Are you sure it’ll get you what you want in life?” Bastion double-checked.

“YES!!”

“Is it ethical?”

“NO, BUT IT’LL MAKE PEOPLE TREAT ME BETTER SOMEHOW SO YES!!”

“Then if you truly believe,” Bastion told in a cheesy fashion, “then you should steal Yugi’s deck.” He turned around. “Come on, Baseball Wreckers.” Bastion led his group away, back through the gunfire.

“But Bastion,” Piggybank said, “you KNOW how much I worship you, and can’t bear to disagree with you, but I disagree with how you handled that situation. Are you SURE he won’t steal that deck?” She stepped over a dead student’s body.

“Yes, I believe in this villain of the week,” Bastion pledged.

“But this is a two-parter,” Baseball Bob inferred, “so won’t he be the villain for the next TWO weeks, so he’s obviously going to steal that deck?”

“Yes. I mean no. Well, maybe…” Bastion ended his sentence there. He was satisfied, and dashed off. “I’M SORRYYYYYYYYYY!!”

 

LATER! THAT!! NIGHT!!!

“And so I told him, Magic Cylinder, be-yotch!” Syrus recounted to Koala Ko Ala, back in the Slifer Toolshed.

“Yeah, yeah,” Koala Ko Ala moped. “That didn’t help you get ME a ticket, did it?”

“No, but…”

“Even IF that was the last ticket,” Koala Ko Ala raged, “if you were a TRUE friend, you’d give those tickets of yours to ME and JADEN!!” Syrus stared at him blankly.

“YOOOOOOOO!!” roared Jaden suddenly! “I CAN’T STAND TO WAIT ANY LONGER!! Let’s sneak into that Yugi deck area tonight fo’ free, y’all!”

“But then what about the tickets?” Syrus worried.

“Now I don’t NEED a ticket!” Koala Ko Ala gleefully noticed! “What a THOUGHTFUL idea, NON-SYRUS!”

“And besides, we can sell the tickets tomorrow for maximum profit!” Jaden added! “You can’t go wrong!”

“…Okay,” Syrus syed, giving in.

 

Meanwhile, as I DO say a lot, Crowler and Bastion were in the YUGIHALLOFYUGIDECK, allowing two guards to leave early. “Boy, I golly-well do appreciate that you’re lettin’ us off early, Dr. Crowler!” one guy thanked rather well.

“Why don’t mention it,” Crowler responded in kind, taking the keys from that one guy. “Now leave before I have to viciously claw you in the face.”

“Alrighty then~!” The two guys took off.

“So, Bastion,” Crowler asked, “as you’re my protégé, as we SHOULD all remember,” it stared at the readers for a moment. “I hope this means you persuaded Barry the Beginner to take the deck, right?”

“Precisely as ordered, sir.”

“Ma’am.”

“Exactly. Now he SHOULD be inside, stealing that deck and escaping in order to duel Jaden,” calculated Bastion.

“Perfect,” snickered Crowler, “and now Jaden will be so horribly discouraged over losing to Yugi’s deck that he’ll stop sleeping as much as he used to, making him miss classes, so then he will FLUNK OUT OF SCHOOL!! HAHAHAHA!!”

“That sounds like a plan Syrus would think of,” Bastion thought. Suddenly there was a crash and the tinkling of glass. “That sounds like a crazy fool breaking the display case in which Yugi’s deck was housed.”

“Now we pretend to hunt down Barry…” Crowler informed, as it lead Bastion into the YUGIHALLOFYUGIDECK, past some wooden doors. Inside was Barry the Beginner, covering his eyes and picking up the deck.

“Ugh, uh!” He rushed to escape and ran into Crowler! “Ahh!” He fell over pathetically, still covering his eyes! “AH, IF I CAN’T SEE YOU, YOU CAN’T SEE ME!!” He ran past them and into the school like the idjit he was.

“What an idjit,” Crowler sighed.

 

Meanwhile, again, Jaden, Syrus, and Koala Ko Ala walked through the halls past the two nameless guards. “I had no idea that guy was a doctor,” one said.

“I had no idea that guy was a dude,” the other said.

“Naw, it’s a lady!”

“I’m confused…” The trio ran on until they saw Bastion ‘approaching’ the YUGIHALLWITHYUGIDECK.

“Yo, Bastion!” Jaden greeted!

“Oh, fancy meeting you here, sneaking in and such,” Bastion unconvincingly said. “Let’s go inside.” They all went inside, without asking questions, stupidly. Inside they found… CROWLER AND A BROKEN GLASS DISPLAY CASE!!

 

“OMG CROWLER DID IT!!” Jaden cried!

“WHYYYYYYY?!?!” Koala Ko Ala sobbed!!

“Wait, it’s not what you think!” yelled Crowler!

“Mr. Crowler,” Syrus softly begged, “why? Why did you steal Yugi’s deck?” He sniffled and let loose a single tear.

“IT’S MS.! OR DOCTOR!!” Crowler retorted! “Look, the one who stole it is Barry the Beginner boy. Go find him by the docks or something.”

“Makes sense to me!” Jaden decided. “Okay team, let’s make tracks!”

“But what if it wasn’t—” But Koala Ko Ala was too busy being pulled away to finish his sentence.

 

And so, by the docks, on a big rock, Barry the Beginner looked at his new stolen cards! “Yes, yes, yes! Now, with the greatest deck ever, I can be the greatest DUELIST ever! It makes perfect sense!” Syrus appeared over the horizon, however! Damn, why am I the first to arrive? Syrus asked himself.

“Hey, you,” he challenged, “some guy stole Yugi’s deck! Do you know who did it?”

“Somebody stole Yugi’s deck?!” gasped Barry the Beginner, with his newfound bad Yugi accent, “No way! My deck is right here! In the duel disk of Yugi Muto! Which is me!” He pointed to his Duel Disk.

Crap! Syrus remembered! In episode four, he said he was gonna get Yugi’s deck! And we’d see! We’d ALL see! Why didn’t I remember this before?!

“Uh, I’ll… duel you for it?” Syrus proposed.

“Pshaw! Why would I give my own deck away in a duel?” Barry the Beginner asked.

“I’ll give you… a chocolate bar.”

“IT’S TIME TO D-D-D-D DDDDDDDUEL!!” And so Syrus pulled out a Duel Disk from outta nowhere and they dueled like nobody had ever been seen dueling before… because it was off-screen, and thereby stupid.

 

TWO! SECONDS!! LATER!!!

“We’re here to help, yo!” Jaden triumphantly exclaimed, leading the group upon the rock Syrus was dueling on!

“I fail…” Syrus muttered, on the ground, with a river of tears pouring forth.

“Yeah, you do…” Koala Ko Ala grunted.

“Not quite your day, now, is it?” Bastion said, just to add insult to insult.

“WAAAAA~ HAHAHAHAHA!!” laughed Barry the Beginner, chomping into a hard-won chocolate bar! “Now that I have defeated the boy I dueled and lost to earlier, it makes me look a lot more tough than before! I TRULY am the KING OF GAMES!!”

“Oh crap,” Jaden whispered, “it IS Yugi!”

“IDIOT!” Koala Ko Ala and Syrus slapped him in the back of the noggin.

“Ow… but the hair, and the accent…”

“YOU met Yugi in the beginning of the series,” Koala Ko Ala reminded, “and he is NOTHING like him!”

“Okay, whatever you say, Chumley.”

“MAH NAME’Z NOT CHUMLEH!!”

 

“Well, I see a fellow admirer,” Barry the Beginner kidded himself. “Would you like to have a chance to duel Yugi, the original Game King?”

“Uh, I’ll duel you, but just for your deck,” Jaden said.

“… Do you have a chocolate bar on you? This one’s running out.” Barry the Beginner held out his half-eaten chocolate bar.

“JADEN!!” Syrus hurled his Duel Disk through the air! “CATCH!!”

“THIS TOO!” Bastion added, tossing his chocolate bar for the ante! It had peanuts in it!

“YOU CAN’T DUEL WITHOUT THESE!” Koala Ko Ala stupidly threw Jaden’s own deck at him, causing the cards to scatter.

“HA!!” Jaden shoved his arm through the Duel Disk, fitting absolutely 100% perfectly! “HUAH!!” He flipped over backward through the air and caught the chocolate bar! Then next came the forty scattered cards and miscellaneous okay Fusion monsters! His eyes flashed chartreuse! “HA-HEH-HO-HEE-HA-HUR-HO-HA-HEEEEEYAAARGH!!” In a berserk had motion, he grabbed every last card and stuffed them into his Duel Disk! Lastly, he threw his chocolate bar at Barry the Beginner. “Now let’s duel!” he challenged.

“But you just gave me the ante…”

Jaden held out the REAL bar that was tossed at him! “That one doesn’t have peanuts in it,” he revealed.

 

“GET YOUR GAME ON!!”

“BOO,” somebody said.

(Jaden: 4000 Life Points, Barry the Beginner: 4000 Life Points)

 

TO BE CONTINUED!!

 

 

[spoiler=Part Two]

Yu-Gi-Oh! GX! The Fan Fic

Episode 18: The King of Copycats – Part One

Part Two

 

“YEAH!!” Jaden shouted, drawing his cards. “I’ll start my turn by placing Elemental Hero Avian in Defense Mode!” Avian flew onto the scene!

“Yargh!” he growled! (Avian: 1000 Defense Points)

“NO, NOT AVIAN!!” screamed his friends. But it was too late.

“Well, I use Polymerization to fuse Gazelle, the King of Mythical Beasts and Berfomet, to form Chimera, the Flying Mythical Beast!” shouted Barry the Beginner! A lion-dude and a demon-big-nosed-dude appeared on the field, but were absorbed in a cool pixie dust spray of light, and became a two-headed lion…with wings!

“RAWRAWR!!” they growled! (Chimera: 2100 Attack Points)

“Heh, that guy was ALWAYS sucky!” Jaden sniffed.

“Uh, help?” Avian asked, as he was being ripped apart by the twin-headed beast… with wings!

“But he doesn’t suck as much as my Avian does!” Jaden heroically added!

“HOW IS THAT GOOD?!”

 

“Hey, Sy,” Koala Ko Ala said, still sore about earlier, “do you have any advice, seein’ as you dueled him earlier?”

“No, I just drew all Spells and Traps, and he savagely beat me up with Chimera the Flying Mythical—”

“You’re USELESS.”

“… Aw.”

“Actually,” Bastion cut in, “there IS a way to defeating this guy.”

“Really?”

“Yes. As Barry the Beginner is merely a beginner who copies other people’s decks, you need to know all the failings of whomever he’s copied. Jaden, you’ve dueled Yugi before! You know how to beat him!”

“No!” Jaden sighed. “I said he gave me a crappy collectible card! When did I EVER tell you I dueled him?”

“I just thought…” Bastion looked down at his shoes. “Am I ever helpful?”

“More helpful than me,” Syrus helpfully told.

“How is THAT supposed to make me feel better?!” Bastion erupted!

 

Time for more tone-settin’ music. “Eh, back to the duel,” Jaden said, gettin’ back on track, “I’ll bring out an ol’ fave of everyone’s…”

“Flame Wingman?” Syrus giddily expected.

“No! Who the hell likes HIM? I fuse Elemental Heroes Sparkman and Clayman with Polymerization to summon Elemental Hero Thunder Giant!” Because I’m too tired of always saying ‘there was a crappy effect’, I’ll probably skip the Polymerization sequences from now on and say that Thunder Giant appeared as a bolt of lightning struck the ground with a large ‘KEH-BYOOM!!’ (Thunder Giant: 2400 Attack Points) “I’ll use his ability to destroy one guy who’s weaker than him!”

“RAR!” yelled Thunder Giant, as he thrust his palm out and released a stream of ELECTRICITY!! Chimera simply blew up.

“Now it’s MY turn to use MY special ability for MYself!” yelled Barry the Beginner, still emulating Yugi with his humiliating voice. “When Chimera the Flying Mythical Beast is destroyed, I can summon Berfomet from the Graveyard again!” And from the steaming husk of the lion monster, Berfomet, the four-armed demon with wings broke through and onto the field.

“Who cares? Voltic Thunder!” Thunder Giant did exactly as he did before, shooting lightning, and blowing up an enemy.

 

That ability saved his Life Points from takin’ a BIG HIT! Jaden thought. This deck’s really livin’ up to da’ HYPE!

“What, is SHOOTING LIGHTNING ALL YOUR PUNY MONSTER CAN DO? Wahahahaha!” Barry the Beginner mocked!

“Hey, the REAL Yugi doesn’t MOCK people!”

“Yes I do! Now I use Monster Reincarnation!” He held out a Spell card featuring a cool purple stick. “I can discard a card and add one monster back into my hand from BEYOND THE GRAVE!!” He summoned back his Gazelle guy, who was, in fact, not a gazelle. (Gazelle: 1500 Defense Points) “Next I’ll use… SWORDS OF REVEALING LIIIIIIGHT!!” An orb of energy appeared above the players, raining swords down from above!

“Wow! Nostalgia alert!” Jaden laughed! “Even after all these years, that card STILL fails to make sense! Ha ha!”

“I should be the one laughing, because I’ve just made all your monsters useless for three turns!”

“What?” Jaden whined, like a four year-old. “Three turns? That’s no fair! Hmph! I’ll just have to summon Dark Catapulter!” And so, the weird dino-man from the Titan duel, which likely made the lil’ monster famous, appeared in Defense Mode. (Dark Catapulter: 1500 Defense Points)

 

“Hmm,” Barry the Beginner thought, “that monster has an ability that destroys Spell and Trap cards… BUT NOT FOR LONG!! HUUUUUU-AH!!” Barry the Beginner did an intense arm movement that served no purpose! “I TRIGGER MY TRAP CARD!!”

“Crap! A Trap!” gasped Koala Ko Ala! A Trap card featuring a red coffin of some sort appeared!

“Dark Renewal, in fact! And when you summon a monster, I can tribute that and one of my own cards to summon a Spellcaster from BEYOND THE GRAVE!!”

“You don’t mean you discarded, with Monster Reincarnation…” gulped Jaden.

“YES! THE EPIC DAAAAARK MAGICIAAAAAAAN!!” The coffin in the picture appeared on the field and absorbed the souls of Gazelle and Dark Catapulter! It rattled and shook and spewed forth black smog! And after a few seconds of building the suspense, the coffin opened.

“GASP!!” screamed the Jaden team guys!

 

A figure sat up out of the coffin. “YAAAAAWN,” they yawned, rubbing the sleep out of their eyes. It was… the Dark Magician, in all his purple glory. “Uh, who the hell’re you?” (Dark Magician: 2500 Attack Points)

“Why, I’m Yugi!” Barry the Beginner persuaded!

“No. You’re not.”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“HOW ANTI-CLIMACTIC!! ” shouted Jaden and co.

“Oh, who cares who I am, just get out there and fight! Fight for what’s right!” Barry the Beginner told DM.

“Well, okay, when you put it that way.” Dark Magician stood up as the coffin faded away into non-existence, and he held his staff lazily.

“Um, since it’s still my turn,” Jaden remembered suddenly, setting his monster into Defense Mode, “I’ll put my Thunder Giant into Defense Mode for now! But he’ll come back swingin’!”

“What does that mean?”

 

“I play the Spell card, Thousand Knives!” called Barry the Beginner. As soon as he’d said that, a bunch of knives began appearing a few at a time. “As long as I have Dark Magician on my field, I can destroy one of your monsters!”

“Um, that’s a lot more than a few,” Syrus shivered. A MASSIVE COLLECTION OF OVER A MILLION KNIVES APPEARED BEHIND BARRY THE BEGINNER’S HEAD.

“Who cares? Kill the giant!” The duelist pointed at the yellow giant and the knives flew. They swarmed around the prey in a dome-like formation!

“What’s goin’ on, yo?” Jaden asked in suspense! “I’m gettin’ goose bumps!” In a flash, thunder Giant was forced out of the dome as knives jabbed themselves into his arms and chest, propelling him into the sky as more and more knives copied the last! Finally, as he was around thirty feet into the sky, more knives stabbed his hands and feet, pulling his body into an X-shaped pose. AND A STEADY COLLUMN OF KNIVES FELL ONTO HIM FROM THE SKY. And when everybody thought it was over, one more GIGANTIC knife fell and cleaved the guy in half. What a way to go. “DAY-UM, ‘dat was harsh!” Jaden said, covering his eyes.

“Word!” added Syrus.

“Shut up, Syrus,” Koala Ko Ala sneered.

“Wha?! But whyyyyyyy?!”

 

“So, Jaden, still star-struck, are you?” Barry the Beginner chuckled. “Well, how would you like being STRUCK by your STAR?! Dark Magic Attack!!” Dark Magician stared at him. “What? I said ‘Dark Magic Attack’!”

“Dude, you can’t even make a good pun.” Dark Magician slowly floated over to Jaden. “All you’re worth is this.” He bonked Jaden on the head with his staff.

“AAAAAH, AH, AAAAAAAAH!!” (Jaden: 1500 Life Points) DM floated back to his original spot. “That hurt!”

“That was even worse than what Thunder Giant went through!” speculated Bastion.

“May be true, but I ain’t givin’ up!” Jaden proclaimed!

“That’s right!” congratulated Barry the Beginner. “Never give up! Like I always constantly say, ‘believe in the heart of the cards’!”

Heart of the cards? I wonder if there’s a stomach, too… ew, gross thought! Gross thought! But right now, the only cards I care about are his! Either I win ‘em, or we lose ‘em! Jaden pushed these thoughts away. Alright Jaden, time to get your game on!

BOO, someone said.

…Well, here goes something!

BOO, someone repeated.

 

“I summon Wroughtweiler in Defense Mode, yo.” His black robot dog guy appeared! (Wroughtweiler: 1200 Defense Points)

“I destroy your pup!” Barry the Beginner said! Dark Magician bonked the dog on the head, detonating it.

“Thanks, ‘cause when you kill Wroughtweiler, I can add an E-Hero and Polymerization into my hand from the Graveyard!” Jaden pulled out Avian and Polymerization!

“Hm, nice play,” said Barry the Beginner.

“Not really,” corrected Syrus and Dark Magician.

“Grr, this guy’s really startin’ to piss me off!” Jaden drew his next card with the heart of a duelist! Or a nerd, whichever you’d prefer. “ I summon Avian back to the field again and throw down a face-down!”

“BOO,” someone said.

“Ha~ I’m back!” Avian laughed! (Avian: 1000 Defense Points)

“NO, JADEN, DON’T!!” the peanut gallery urged.

“I learned my lesson from last time, dudes!” Jaden said, throwing down his face-down.

“Yes! I am safe!” Avian believed!

“Hey!” Syrus remembered! “It’s been three turns! The Swords of Revealing Light are gone! You can attack now! Isn’t that great?” As he’d said, the swords disappeared. Jaden turned to Syrus with an energy-less expression, picking his nose with his pinky.

“Eh, I already knew that, but thanks.”

Why’s there an intense feeling of hostility here?...

 

“NOW! DARK MAGICIAN, ATTACK AVIAN!!” Barry the Beginner roared!

“OH NOOOO!!” Avian cried!

“YOU DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DOOOO!!” Dark Magician rebelled, still attacking though!

“NOT SO FAST!!” interrupted Jaden! “I PLAY A HERO EMERGES!!” His card featuring a zombie super hero rising to the occasion flipped up! “Now, choose a card!” Jaden said, holding his hand out.

“I choose the only monster in my hand!” Barry the Beginner guessed!

“You made the RIGHT decision! I summon Elemental Hero Bladedge to the field!” An awesome super hero in solid-gold armor (complete with intense shading!) and massive scythe-like blades on his forearms appeared in a golden flash of light! (Bladedge: 2600 Attack Points)

Damn, he’s way cooler than me, sobbed Avian.

“Crap! He actually got a monster?!” Barry the Beginner gulped!

“There should be more super heroes like that these days!” Syrus decided! “I mean, that guy’s practically got blades drippin’ off of him! He’s made of gold! What could go wrong?”

“Shut up, Syrus,” everyone said.

“How mean…”

 

“Hmm, even if you summoned a monster stronger than my Dark Magician, I still have a great Spell card up my sleeve…” A card showing a blue-skinned guy in awesome leather clothing with a great hat and staff appeared, upstaging Dark Magician! “Dedication Through Light and Darkness! This card lets me tribute Dark Magician for the DARK MAGICIAN OF CHAOS!!”

“OF CHAOS?!?!” gasped Syrus and Koala Ko Ala!

“YES, OF CHAOS!!” The Dark Magician was consumed within purple energy and became the guy in the picture!

“Yo, now I look cool!” he said about himself. (DMoC: 2800 Attack Points)

“He DOES look funky fresh,” Jaden admitted.

“And by just summoning my funky fresh magician, I can add a Spell card into my hand FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE!! But enough about that, as I’ll DESTROY YOUR MONSTER!!”

“YEAH!!” DMoC fired a laser at Bladedge from the tip of his staff! It blew up the best American hero from Japan we’ve ever had.

“CRAAAAAAAP!!” cursed Jaden! (Jaden: 1300 Life Points) “This sucks! I was so booking on that strategy, too!”

“Well, better luck NEXT time, hahahahaha!!” Barry the Beginner laughed.

Man, against this dude, gettin’ mah game on may not be enough! Jaden thought.

BOO, someone said.

 

TO BE CONTINUED!!

 

 

 

[Kaisu]

Nice... Definetly one of the best.