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The Mushroom Kingdom


Clair

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It's magnificent.

 

I think I was a little too hard on it, but I heard sooo much praise about it I expected more from the tutorial.

 

It's wonderful.

 

The same thing went for Final Fantasy VII. Everybody says it's great. I play it, and I fall asleep.

 

It sucks.

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Ok, can everyone give me a paragraph for my fanfic to copy and paste? I will make the first Paragraph:

 

It was 7:30 AM as Luigi was cleaning the house. Mario was doing his daily morning routine by first taking a shower, brushing his teeth and preparing his Teehee Morning Blend. "Mail Call!" Mario and Luigi looked to the front door. As Luigi volunteered with his "Hey bro, let me get this letter", Mario felt as though he had to object. "Hey Luigi, you really shouldn't be working hard and getting all my mail, like what you usually do.". As Mario stepped outside of his house to get his letter, he was greeted by Parakarry. "Hey Mario. Long time no see. How were your battles against the forces of evil going?". Mario non-chalantly replied "Eh, the Princess is still in the castle and the world is normal as of now. It's my day off". "Well, I have a Special Delivery for the both of you. It's a letter from Toadsworth. I should leave to deliver 8 other invitations across the Mushroom Kingdom". As Parakarry left to deliver the other letters, Luigi walked out of the house to talk to Mario. "Mario, why did you have to snap at me like that?". "Eh, I'm sorry Luigi. I just wanted to get the letter this time. It's been a while since I got a letter from Parakarry.". "It's ok Mario. Well, let's read that letter, shall we?".

 

It needs to be edited by someone who is good at editing, and continue on with it.

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Do you want me to edit is if it was an essay? Because I find a lot of sentences are really informal and should be changed, but only in an essay enviornment. Because this is a FF... I don't know how you want to go about edits.

 

DARK MAKING A TYPO WHEN THE TWO LETTERS AREN'T EVEN NEXT TO EACH OTHER?

 

BLASPHEMY!

 

 

He means edit it in a Fan Fic sense, but essay environment could be helpful.

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DARK MAKING A TYPO WHEN THE TWO LETTERS AREN'T EVEN NEXT TO EACH OTHER?

 

BLASPHEMY!

 

 

He means edit it in a Fan Fic sense, but essay environment could be helpful.

 

...

 

I'm going to guess and say Dark is the SUPER GRAMMAR NAZI, while you are the Grammar Nazi.

 

Am I right?

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In the Fanfic sense, but Essay sense might make it cleaner. However, I want everyone to submit their paragraphs as well, then I will give it to the revisor to review over everything and make sure there isn't a mistake. Once I get all my paragraphs in, someone will make the final changes and whammo!

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DARK MAKING A TYPO WHEN THE TWO LETTERS AREN'T EVEN NEXT TO EACH OTHER?

 

BLASPHEMY!

 

 

He means edit it in a Fan Fic sense, but essay environment could be helpful.

 

My computer was lagging and forgot to type "th", as the word should have been "this".

 

I'll re-write the paragraph with my edits.

 

It was 7:30 AM as Luigi was cleaning the house. Mario was doing his daily morning routine by first taking a shower, brushing his teeth, and preparing his Teehee Morning Blend*. "Mail call!" Mario and Luigi looked to the front door. As Luigi volunteered with his, "Hey bro, let me get this letter," Mario felt as though he had to object. "Hey, Luigi, you really shouldn't be working hard and getting all my mail, like you usually do." As Mario stepped outside of his house to get the letter, he was greeted by Parakarry. "Hey, Mario. Long time, no see. How are your battles against the forces of evil going?" Mario nonchalantly replied, "Eh, the Princess is still in the castle and the world is normal as of now. It's my day off." "Well, I have a special delivery for the both of you. It's a letter from Toadsworth. I should really leave to deliver eight other invitations across the Mushroom Kingdom." As Parakarry left to deliver the other letters, Luigi walked out of the house to talk to Mario. "Mario, why did you have to snap at me like that?" "Eh, I'm sorry, Luigi. I just wanted to get the letter this time. It's been awhile since I got a letter from Parakarry." "It's okay, Mario. Well, let's read the letter, shall we?"

 

*First part of the sentence seems phrased incorrectly, and it's absolutely useless information.

 

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Ok, can everyone give me a paragraph for my fanfic to copy and paste? I will make the first Paragraph:

 

It was 7:30 AM as Luigi was cleaning the house. Mario was doing his daily morning routine by first taking a shower, brushing his teeth and preparing his Teehee Morning Blend. "Mail Call!" Mario and Luigi looked to the front door. As Luigi volunteered with his "Hey bro, let me get this letter", Mario felt as though he had to object. "Hey Luigi, you really shouldn't be working hard and getting all my mail, like what you usually do.". As Mario stepped outside of his house to get his letter, he was greeted by Parakarry. "Hey Mario. Long time no see. How were your battles against the forces of evil going?". Mario non-chalantly replied "Eh, the Princess is still in the castle and the world is normal as of now. It's my day off". "Well, I have a Special Delivery for the both of you. It's a letter from Toadsworth. I should leave to deliver 8 other invitations across the Mushroom Kingdom". As Parakarry left to deliver the other letters, Luigi walked out of the house to talk to Mario. "Mario, why did you have to snap at me like that?". "Eh, I'm sorry Luigi. I just wanted to get the letter this time. It's been a while since I got a letter from Parakarry.". "It's ok Mario. Well, let's read that letter, shall we?".

 

It needs to be edited by someone who is good at editing, and continue on with it.

 

Show, don't tell. New person talking= new paragraph.

 

I have no idea what you're trying to say. Everyone is writing a paragraph in the story?

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Ok, can everyone give me a paragraph for my fanfic to copy and paste? I will make the first Paragraph:

 

It was 7:30 AM as Luigi was cleaning the house. Mario was doing his daily morning routine by first taking a shower, brushing his teeth and preparing his Teehee Morning Blend. "Mail Call!" Mario and Luigi looked to the front door. As Luigi volunteered with his "Hey bro, let me get this letter", Mario felt as though he had to object. "Hey Luigi, you really shouldn't be working hard and getting all my mail, like what you usually do.". As Mario stepped outside of his house to get his letter, he was greeted by Parakarry. "Hey Mario. Long time no see. How were your battles against the forces of evil going?". Mario non-chalantly replied "Eh, the Princess is still in the castle and the world is normal as of now. It's my day off". "Well, I have a Special Delivery for the both of you. It's a letter from Toadsworth. I should leave to deliver 8 other invitations across the Mushroom Kingdom". As Parakarry left to deliver the other letters, Luigi walked out of the house to talk to Mario. "Mario, why did you have to snap at me like that?". "Eh, I'm sorry Luigi. I just wanted to get the letter this time. It's been a while since I got a letter from Parakarry.". "It's ok Mario. Well, let's read that letter, shall we?".

 

It needs to be edited by someone who is good at editing, and continue on with it.

 

Space each paragraph at points where some points end and where dialogue would start after. Pretty much if this would be your starting plot, its somewhat okay.

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Show, don't tell. New person talking= new paragraph.

 

I have no idea what you're trying to say. Everyone is writing a paragraph in the story?

 

Pretty Much. Or is that a Bad idea? Yea I just only typed out a rough draft of the paragraph. I am planning for some one to read through every paragraph made and PM me the final product of the chapter (They must have a writing program though). Then I will copy/paste the entire story into the thread.

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I don't entirely know if I'm doing another LP.

 

I'm fine with doing a console LP (preferably Galaxy 2 or another game I have), but I don't entirely know the materials needed to make such an LP. A capture card... I have an editing program. I have a mic, but it has to be hooked up to my computer. So I'm not sure what materials I'll need.

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I don't entirely know if I'm doing another LP.

 

I'm fine with doing a console LP (preferably Galaxy 2 or another game I have), but I don't entirely know the materials needed to make such an LP. A capture card... I have an editing program. I have a mic, but it has to be hooked up to my computer. So I'm not sure what materials I'll need.

 

...

 

I know a guy who has made tutorials on what he uses, so I can link you to those if you want.

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