Death

[Blake]

last night, I came home to find one of my family's six kittens dead. I never saw him directly or touched him, so I dug his grave and made a cross to go on it. Buried him where he and his siblings were first in their bed together.

Another is missing today. Haven't seen him all day.

Fro seeing 6 family members and multiple lets die since I was 8... I'm just tired of it. I'm so sick of death. Hell, I saw 4 die and 2 pets die before I was 14. So fucking tired of it...

Discuss the ultimate disconnect...

[Spinny]

Same happened to me and my sister, we are now banned from pets in our house :/

[(GigaDrillBreaker)]

My grandmother, whom I adored, passed away from multiple organ failure last summer. I was two rooms away in the hospital while it happened, knowing what was going on, and I am glad I wasn't in there. She hadn't said a coherent sentence in two days, and to my knowledge the last thing she said while truly lucid was to me, and it was that she loved me, before I briefly went home to return the day of her passing. Despite how much I love her, I haven't cried for her a single time since the first car-ride back from the hospital. Since before she died. She was the best grandma I could have ever hoped for, and I can't manage to shed a single tear for her, and I feel guilty about it constantly.

[AGATHODAIMON BANGTAIL COW]

I come from a family with a ton of cats, and the occasional dog, bird, or something else. I'm very familiar with the loss of a family pet to the point where I feel really apathetic about death. The last few times it's happened, I bounced back perhaps in less than an hour. It appalls me that I just don't care anymore about losing the ones I love.

[EHN.]

Well, damn, this is certainly a depressing thread. I've never had any pets so luckily I haven't had to go through the experience of losing any.

 

My grandfather and grandmother passed away when I was a little kid, both of them fairly early (75, 65). I remember crying a lot and I miss them very much. The only other experience I have had is last year when one of my closest friends took his own life, which led me to a huge turning point in my life. Not going to go in depth as it is a fairly difficult thing for me to talk about. 

 

When it comes to death itself, I used to fear and worry about it constantly. I guess in the last year I've grown a lot stronger emotionally as I've stopped giving any shits at all. When the time comes, whenever it may be, death will happen, we cannot change that. Death is just as much of a part of life as birth and life itself, so having a neutral relationship with it is the best way forward.

[Rodrigo]

The first time a pet of ours died was really... weird.

 

I come back from school, calling his name, Hulk. "Hulk, come here", I said. I get close to his house and see him lying down in there. I call him again, "Hulk!", no response. Then I realized he was dead. Later, mom comes back home, I tell her, she calls dad to come bury Hulk. I saw him burying it in our own lawn.

 

I was 9 years old.

 

I didn't cry. Outside.

[Tourmaline]

Death is not the ultimate disconnect, especially if you cared about whatever died. If somebody died, then continuing to live with them in your heart and mind is a stronger connection than almost any other, a physical presence not being required for a bond to remain coherent. When an animal dies (including humans), their memories, philosophies and personalities continue to exist within the minds of those they were close to, and that makes them immortal, in a sense. Thousands and hundreds of years later, people still talk about Plato and Goethe because of their abstract significance and not their physical ones, and they have certainly been immortalized in the sense. In the sane way, know that if the individual was important enough to you, they will never be disconnected from you as long as you remember them fondly.

In terms of people who do not cry at deaths and may feel guilty, consider the many art forms. Artists among all forms are known for individual methodology, style and niche, which is what makes them endearing. Language being a method to turn an incomprehensible world into a lower set of signals that are communicable means that all communication is based on presumed meaning and not reality. The world as it is is far above the limits of language (this is why melody is the highest form of art), so there are no absolutely real ways of expressing anything. The only way to express your own concept for sadness is in whatever way your perception feels proper. FInd solace in your ability to express yourself as an individual and not totally as a mindlessly conditioned idiot. You should only cry if you feel like crying and if you feel your sadness would be best expressed through it. That works absolutely, so if you do not cry but know an emotion is being felt, it is as valid as any other action or method of expression.

[Cosmo.]

dropping this here

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dYGKxxTXqSs

[Azure Wolf]

Currently I'm not sure how I feel about death. The earliest death I can remember in my family was one of my great-grandmothers on my father's side, but I wasn't really close to her. I didn't even know her first name until I was around 9-10ish. The latest was one of my great-grandmothers on my mother's side but she was not really here. She had dementia and was stuck in the past most of her life as well as needing at least 3 people to take care of her when she was in a nursing home. I wasn't really phased when she died, I knew it would happen and it would take pressure off my grandparents. I do have fond memories of her though when she was still mentally here. When we went round to her house she would always have chocolate for us or other stuff.

 

Pet wise I've had 2 dogs, lots of fish, some rabbits and some hamsters die. One the dogs to old age, one my mum had since she was young and another we got when she was already old and had to be put down due to failing organs and limbs, the rabbits and hamsters I can't really remember except we buried them in the garden, but were dug up later when we were redoing the garden.

 

I try not to let death bother me and don't mourn when people die. The person is dead, crying about it won't do anything but make you feel better, if you want to honour them just live on and live your life unhindered by their death. Though for me this line of thought has got me reprimanded due to sort of not caring at funerals and preparing for them, like wanting to wear white rather then black/dark grey and eating during the service.

[Sethera]

I am intimately familiar with death.

 

I've believed that I was going to die multiple times. Once, when I was drowning. Another time, when I was almost struck by lightning. A third time, in a major car accident. A fourth time, when a man pulled a gun on me. And most recently, when I got so sick I couldn't move for days. I've also had a few near-death incidents as a baby that I don't remember but was told about. Regardless, I'm fully reconciled with the idea that I'm going to die eventually, it's just a matter of when my guardian angel decides to stop working overtime.

 

The backyard in my old house is full of animal graves. A lot of the deaths happened when I was a child, so they didn't hit as hard. The one that had the most impact on me was when my hamster died of old age during my preteen years. I refused to believe that he died, and held him until his body turned cold and he started to smell. Then I realized...he really was gone, and I was inconsolable for the rest of the day. I had a second hamster who died of old age a year or so later, but I didn't care, mainly because I refused to after that incident.

 

In terms of human death...there were a couple grandparents who died when I was a child, but as I was a child they didn't matter to me as much. There was also this one upperclassman in my school who died, but I never knew him, so it had about as much impact on me as a stranger on the news does. I felt the same way when I sang at a stranger's funeral as part of a choir. I felt differently though when the person I dated died via a drunk driving accident. I have only "moved on," as people would call it, in the past couple of years, but I still cherish the memories I have of them.

 

Life is life, death is death, and we all get to experience both eventually. I'm not particularly concerned with when I'll die, but while I live, I might as well try and read the books I want to read, and play the video games I want to play.

[Dad]

I'll be very brief.  Death is not something I can handle.  I almost took my own life, and some very short time ago recently (a little over a week ago) I as nearly killed.  I value life a lot more now.  And don't get me started on family members.  I just can't deal.

[Thar]

I often find myself thinking I'll come home one day to someone in the house being dead. I think the same thing when a relative calls, like I just think they're calling to tell us bad news or something. It's a scary thought considering it can happen to anyone at anytime, including yourself, which is why I'm always mentally prepared for the worst if it ends up happening.

 

I think the worst part of my family dying, for me, isn't the death itself, but just how fragile my family will be afterwards. Seriously, there's nothing worse than living with a sad family. I absolutely HATE sadness, no matter how philosophical people get about it. I just hate it.

[Fusion X. Denver]

I had a very sudden introduction to death in late 2007.

 

My great-aunt died of leukemia in August, being the first person I knew decently well that had passed. I was sad, but I wasn't terribly broken up about it because I was 14 and only had seen her here and there over the years.

In September, 9/11 no less, my dad had a stroke and nearly died. Our housekeeper found him in time and over the years he's bounced back, but it looked really bad back then. He only lived because it happened on a Tuesday.

In October, one of my best friends lost their dad to stomach cancer. I felt terrible not only because I liked the guy, but I couldn't stop thinking about my friend and his family who were going to grow up without their dad. 

In November, my grandfather died. This was the first death I had to deal with in my immediate family and it hit me pretty hard. 

In December, one of my classmates burned to death alongside her parents and grandmother. Their house caught fire because of their Christmas lights short-circuiting, or something like that. Her older brother survived because the dad pushed him out the window before trying to save the rest of the family.

 

Death is inevitable, but it always sucks. Especially when it happens prematurely. The important thing is to never take life for granted and appreciate it. Not everyone is so lucky.

[Slinky]

Stop getting so many pets, and you'll experience less death.

[.Rai]

Stop getting so many pets, and you'll experience less death.

Entirely unnecessary comment. No need to be insensitive.