A brief explaination of my recent state of mind.

[LordCowCowCowCowCowCowCowCow]

"brief" cause it's brief for what I could have gone on and on about. Besides the typical anxiety there's a few words that describe what has made me feel so...negative and crappy lately. These are all in extreme excess and more than the norm, even for me.

 

Lonely- Despite having friends who care and who I talk to I can't shake free of this feeling for some reason.

 

Paranoid- Everything bad that could happen is for sure happening and I can't do anything about it, everything I say or do is going to be taken wrong, everyone secretly has issues with me, no one is being truthful

(I feel so guilty about this part, I'm so so sorry to every one of my friends.)

 

Worthless- Feeling worthless, like I have no purpose, everything I attempt is doomed to failure and I will never do anything with my life

 

 

Keep in mind that I'm feeling somewhat better than I have been.

 

I'm not posting this for sympathy or the like, I just felt it only fair to let the people who were worried know what's been going on, at least somewhat. And so I can get my own mind sorted out slightly.

 

 

Edit: mfw when my avi and member title and everything do not match my words at all ^^;

Suck it up cow-freak

Thanks Morgan.

[Tourmaline]

You'll be fine.

[Simping For Hina]

Hina said exactly what happens.

[The Nyx Avatar]

I apologize if I haven't seen your negativity or noticed anxiety. Also, "Lonely- Despite having friends who care and who I talk to I can't shake free of this feeling for some reason."; I understand that. And I have no issues with you.

[(GigaDrillBreaker)]

I understand your feelings.

[Yui]

I can also say I get where you're coming from.  I get very lonely very fast if I'm unable to access the interwebs and hang out with y'all over Skype and stuff, but once I'm online, friends are there and the feeling goes quickly.

 

As far as your feeling worthless, your worth is at least a couple of leaps above what you're estimating yourself at.  You single-handedly keep the Showdown club running, you make RP a much more comfortable place by simply being around, you seem to pay close attention to getting your work done irl, and so on.  You tend to brighten up the day of whoever you come across, and I'd say that's quite a lot of worth on your part; the world could use more people like that.  sheet, I'd say you've got more worth than I do, and I'm pretty confident in precisely my worth round here and in general.