Resident Fascist Posted November 19, 2015 Report Share Posted November 19, 2015 Hi guys. Some of you read my previous topic and were surprised that someone like me would even consider such a thing as suicide, so I decided to make this topic. Lately, I've been suffering from Invasive Thoughts that completely contradict my true beliefs. I've been having evil, disgusting thoughts about recent world events, and it upsets me. Horrible, disgusting thoughts have been wrapping in my mind and they disturb me. I couldn't dream of doing the things in my head, it's been destroying my life, I've been sitting up all night scared that I'm becoming someone monstrous because of these thoughts. These thoughts are disgusting and are hurting me. I can't believe I'm trying to justify what horrible things have been happening in the world lately, I just want these evil thoughts to stop. I hope these thoughts are not indicative of what's happening to me. If you don't know, I am diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, as well an anxiety disorder. I couldn't do these things, why are they in my mind? Why? Can't I have my life back? Can't I not feel evil? Somebody... Save me... Stop these thoughts... *sigh* Stop these thoughts! I can't think this! I can't be like that! I can't do those evil things... I'm not evil... I hate them... I can't believe this... Why am I thinking this... I'm a calm person, I couldn't hurt anyone... I feel like I'm being brainwashed... I'm scared... Help me... Stop... *sigh* Should I just kill myself before I hurt someone? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toffee. Posted November 19, 2015 Report Share Posted November 19, 2015 I've been having evil, disgusting thoughts about recent world events, and it upsets me.Then don't watch Fox News. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~British Soul~ Posted November 19, 2015 Report Share Posted November 19, 2015 I suppose it's a good thing we don't have Fox News over here Armz, but we are very much aware of that via various forms of media. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tourmaline Posted November 19, 2015 Report Share Posted November 19, 2015 No, you should let me save you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toffee. Posted November 19, 2015 Report Share Posted November 19, 2015 I suppose it's a good thing we don't have Fox News over here Armz, but we are very much aware of that via various forms of media.Actually I should have just said to not watch the news in the first place, or at least, stop doing so for the time being. If it's upsetting TC that much, then why continue to watch it? Would be better to take your mind off it, really. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thar Posted November 19, 2015 Report Share Posted November 19, 2015 I've had similar thoughts for years (possibly a decade) and had days where I felt the same way, but there's this thing called common sense that keeps me from doing any of that sheet, so it's nothing to feel worried about, let alone kill myself over. Don't let it bother you, we've all been there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~British Soul~ Posted November 19, 2015 Report Share Posted November 19, 2015 Actually I should have just said to not watch the news in the first place, or at least, stop doing so for the time being. If it's upsetting TC that much, then why continue to watch it?Would be better to take your mind of it, really.I agree, the same can be said for the internet, it's ok to take a break from it from time to time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aerion Brightflame Posted November 19, 2015 Report Share Posted November 19, 2015 Having thoughts like the kind you are implying doesn't really say anything about you as a person. Because so long as you never act on them, you are no better or no worse than anyone else on the planet. And you are a good enough person to understand why they are wrong, and to know not to act on them. Ignore what the bastard inside your head says, and have faith in yourself. Killing yourself wouldn't be a solution anyway, because it never is a solution. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resident Fascist Posted November 19, 2015 Author Report Share Posted November 19, 2015 Having thoughts like the kind you are implying doesn't really say anything about you as a person. Because so long as you never act on them, you are no better or no worse than anyone else on the planet. And you are a good enough person to understand why they are wrong, and to know not to act on them. Ignore what the bastard inside your head says, and have faith in yourself. Thank you. We've talked about Invasive Thoughts before, I believe. I know I'd never act upon these malicious and horrifying thoughts, and I know I shall never, as long as I live, act upon these wicked thoughts. I am receiving mental help possibly tomorrow. The thing that worries me about these thoughts is that they are indicative of something beginning inside of me, the short dark path to something truly evil. However, if it becomes worse, I shall take action myself and remove the threat, myself. I would much rather hurt myself than hurt some other poor soul. I am but a broken and flawed human being with far too much emotion and are too easily led. Being said, I could not hurt a fly. I've never hit somebody, and I have no intention of ever becoming a person who will hurt. My mind has been fighting back against these wicked thoughts since the 16th. The contemplation of suicide is a preventative measure in case I do truly go loopy and become a threat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trebuchet MS Posted November 20, 2015 Report Share Posted November 20, 2015 I can't believe I'm using this again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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