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Ask Raine to Explain Anything to you as if you're a Kindergartener


Raine

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Why cant pandas fly? Im trying so much to teach these little ones but they arent picking it up.

 

Pandas come from the Caucus region of Russia, where they evolved from the flying bird Moltres to take advantage of the flat land and develop the ancient martial art of Kung-fu to fight off the communist penguins encroaching on their territory. This lasted for 10,000 years until they were defeated at the battle of Helms Deep and forced to flee to the bamboo forests of China after the having lost the blessings of the gods and being stripped of their panda wings so they can fly no more.

 

I mean, pandas are bears, you dumbass child.  

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Why does isn't the real Yu-Gi-Oh card game like the anime's?

 

Because the anime didn't have rules, and a world without rules is anarchy where the only order comes from the fractured street tribes of New York in our new dystopian world you created, you little monster!

 

 

How do you go to space?

 

Either get really good at math or talk to the shaddy dude with the spoon and lighter who hangs out behind the school. 

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THE THEORY OF RELATIVITY

 

Relativity comes from the big problem that the speed of light is real. An old dude who liked electricity and magnets called Maxwell found out that c=1/sqrt(u0e0), but that's boring. He found out that light moves proportional to a boring number that represents how a vacuum or "nothing", lets electric fields do it's thing and another boring number about vacuums let magnets do it's thing. This was kind of cool, light's just magnet stuff and electric stuff doing things, but it's only one number. 

 

Einsteins, a crazy haired dude, sat down an thought, "If I go really fast and shoot something also going really fast, does someone else see that thing going doubly fast?" Maxwell burst from the closet and shouted, "BULLSHIT!" Einsteins said, "Why?" and Maxwell crawled back in his grave. Einstein said that well, this one number thing works if I change how space works. Then he thought, if I change how space works, to make a speed work, then I change how time works. "Time and space are the same!" he shouted. 

 

So he made the Theory of Special Reality, which said things going fast throwing things going fast doesn't make someone see them doing double fast but just closer to maximum fast. This also means if someone is going zero fast, he's going through time the same as you; and if someone is going super fast, he's going closer to zero time passing. Normally people are super slow so it doesn't matter though. 

 

Like a decade later, he made general relativity which works for everything but it used Tensor calculus which is hard as diamonds so funk that.

Who was phone?

 

Dog

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People keep comparing Ash to Red here, and here is what I have to say about all this. Consider, for a moment, the possibility that Red and Ash are destined for different paths in life. Red was destined for greatness related to power, as well as fame. He knew almost instinctively what to do in order to get to greater heights quickly, like beating the gym leaders and defeating Team Rocket. He also happened to have the luck to not only accquire a Mega Stone and Key Stone in Kanto, but also to have a strong enough bond with his pokemon to have them activate and then catch Mewtwo on top of that. He got so incredibly famous, but the thing is that he has hardly any friends. So he feels as if he's lost his luster, and climbs Mt. Silver in an effort to grow stronger and feel worthy of all the attention he gets. This makes him become a legend himself after he eventually disappears completely, practically immortalized and looked up to by young trainers world-wide. Ash, on the other hand, is destined for greatness related to helping others, and friendship as well. Remember how Pikachu hated him at first? He had such a need to make Pikachu his friend, even though he could have traded Pikachu or asked the Professor to exchange him for a different pokemon when he got a new batch of starters. However, he didn't and Pikachu came around pretty quickly. Ash also has connections with legendary pokemon, not only through helping them but his very soul was also a key peice in at least one issue. (Lucario and he Mystery of Mew) His path, however, doesn't bring him fame. He's probably just not destined for it, seeing how he keeps losing fights by chance that would have made him very well known if he had won. He is still great though, just in a different way, and has a lot of friends. He doesn't need to be famous to be happy, even though a fantasy to become well known is what started his journey in the first place. He's pretty content with how he is now and his friends know hes a hero for helping so many people (not to mention saving the world multiple times). So even though Ash and Red are not the same kind of great, they do well in their respective areas. I feel like comparing them is like comparing a fish to a bird, and then getting angry when the fish cannot fly. They are not the same thing, Red is a legend and Ash is a hero, so of course they won't act the same.

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