Yu-Gi-Oh! GX! The Fan Fic (UPDATE: Episode 45 Started! Here's where it gets serious.)

[Weather Report - Stand]

It's done. Hoorah.

[Des ＨＥＲＯ]

Sorry I've missed some Episodes I was busy...Anyway, interesting.

[Weather Report - Stand]

It's okay, Ancient Member yo.

 

Meanwhile, I'm posting these pictures that I meant to add with episode 37 and forgot to... it's Cuts n' Gut, man!! Stylistic suck rules!

 

[spoiler=Cuts Man]

 

[spoiler=Gut Man]

 

[Weather Report - Stand]

Well, to capture your attention, and to show off mah mad drawing skillz, I'm going to just show how much work I've put into the character guide as of late.

 

Jaden Yuki “Get your game on, yo!”

Rank: Red; Age: 14, I guess; Nationality: Uh, I GUESS Japanese; Deck type: Elemental Hero

Jaden is an idiot who spouts 80’s catchphrases at whim, including all possible forms of traditional American slang. He also rarely loses. Why? His name has ‘Yu’ in it. Also because he cheats sometimes. Due to his stupidity, many people hate him, including the infamous Ms. Crowler. He originally caught the attention of his school after he defeated an Ultra-Rare Holofoil monster card, something that APPARENTLY other people can’t do, not long after getting his very own magical Winged Kuriboh trading card, which he hates with a passion. He’s also known as Jaden ‘Yucky’.

Signature cards: Elemental Hero Flame Wingman, Elemental Hero Thunder Giant, Winged Kuriboh (Gots a spirit), Winged Kuriboh Level 10, Elemental Hero Avian (MAY have a spirit?! He talks, at least, and brings the stench of failure with him)

Theme Song: Happily Ever After – Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann

 

Syrus Truesdale “Game over, man, game over.”

“That’s nice. Weirdo.”

Rank: Red; Age: 14?! He looks like an eight year-old!!; Nationality: Japanese-Emo; Deck type: UNKNOWN?! For now.

Syrus Truesdale… the resident depressing freak-boy. He’s also the only emo with brightly-colored clothes and hair. He has a habit of talking to people, describing how everything will kill everybody in the immediate area, for no reason. His hair can sometimes speak, but this is uncommon. After his first tag duel against the Paradox Brothers with Jaden, he’s slowly become a more developed character and sn’t as depressing as he used to be, merely snarky.

Signature cards: Steamroid, Gyroid, Steam Gyroid, Power Bond

Theme Song:

 

Chazz Princeton “SHUT UP! YOUR VOICES INFURIATE ME!!”

Rank: Blue; Age: 14; Nationality: Crowlerish; Deck type: Cthonian (It means the underworld in Latin)

Chazz is the product of Crowler bribing the animators for a son, because nobody wanted to have a child with it. And it couldn’t adopt, I guess. He’s a jerk, but he still has two loyal followers: Billy Hills and Deep-Voice Dobbson, both Obelisk Blues as well. He’s also putting them down constantly, but still sees promise in them. When he sees someone who irritates him too much, he hits them with the CHAZZISAWESOMEENERGYBLAST, which is a concentrated blast of pure ownage. Or so they say… Oh, and he also obviously likes Alexis Rhodes.

Signature cards: Cthonian Soldier, Cthonian Polymer

Theme Song: None yet

 

Black-Coated Chazz I hate my brothers!

Rank: Red; Age: 14; Nationality: The one Chazz is; Deck Type: Armed Dragon, Ojamas

After going through the frozen wasteland of Southern Georgia and taking a level in badass, successfully turning an entire school into a Chazz cult, this boy donned a black coat of coolness. He came to terms with his mommy issues and then rejoined his original Duel Academy with his two best friends. Now he’s slightly friendlier and has an annoying talking fat yellow man.

Signature cards: Armed Dragon Lv10, Ojama Yellow

Theme Song: Rei III – Neon Genesis Evangelion

 

Billy Hills “I reckon.”

Rank: Blue; Age: 14; Nationality: Irish-American; Deck type: UNKNOWN?! For now.

Billy Hills is one of the ensemble darkhorses of this story, since he’s done nothing and become massively popular. He follows Chazz around, saying ‘I reckon’ as much as he can, and luvin’ it. He also believes in Deep-Voice Dobbson, because we ALL know that he can become popular, too.

Signature cards: None yet

Theme Song: None yet.

 

Black-Coated Billy Hills “I SURE reckon!”

Rank: Red; Age: 14; Nationality: Irish-American; Deck type: Hill Folk

Now that he’s gone to Georgia with Chazz and Deep-Voice Dobbson and gotten his own black coat, he’s been demoted to Slifer Red! He also got to show off his dueling skills, even though he lost in one turn.

Signature cards: Hill Folk Rocky, Call of the Hills

Theme Song: Hoshi no Kinka Yama – [Zan] Sayonara Zetsubou-Sensei Character Album

 

Deep-Voice Dobbson “Huh, Chazz, huh?”

Rank: Blue; Age: 14, but looks too old; Nationality: Samoans are supposed to be big, right?; “Deck type: Bass Singers

The tall, dumb-ish one of the group. He’s exactly like Billy Hills, except that he talks differently, and he also can change his catchphrase to work with whatever’s nearby (i.e. “Huh, bird, huh?”). He’s secretly jealous of Billy Hills and is somewhat stupid in duels.

Signature cards: Bass Singer, Opera Hall, Bass Buster

Theme song: None yet.

 

Black-Coated Deep-Voice Dobbson “Chazz, huh? Chazz?”

Rank: Red; Age: 14, but still looks too old; Nationality: Samoan?; Deck type: Bass Singers

Now that he’s gone to Georgia with Chazz and Billy Hills and gotten his own black coat, he’s been demoted to Slifer Red! He’s also great friends with Ojama Yellow.

Signature cards: Bass Singer, Opera Hall, Bass Buster

Theme Song: None yet.

 

Bastion Misawa “I’ll take D; You’re an idiot!”

Rank: Yellow; Age: 14; Nationality: British; Deck type: Ring of Destruction!!

Originally he was written to be an idiot, but over time he became more of a stupid smart guy. He’s never lost a game before, merely tied. Also for some reason he’s got a gang of three others.

Signature cards: Ring of Destruction, Water Dragon, Hydrogeddon

Theme song: Ready Steady Go – Fullmetal Alchemist

 

Baseball-Wrecking Bastion “Welcome to the Baseball Wreckers Gang!!”

Rank: Blue; Age:14; Nationality: British; Deck type: Ring of Destruction and Water Dragon

Now that Bastion’s upgraded to Obelisk Blue and become Crowler’s protégé, he’s gotten incredibly popular. He’s also got a rad new badge. He may not be tying EVERY match now, but at least his life’s getting better.

Signature cards: Ring of Destruction, Water Dragon, Hydrogeddon, Doom Litmus Soldier

Theme song: Ready Steady Go – Fullmetal Alchemist

 

Piggybank Bankins “OMG BASTION I LUV YOU!!

Rank: Yellow; Age: 14; Nationality: Banky-pig; Deck type: UNKNOWN?! For now.

Piggybank is in love with Bastion for no good reason, and this also can make her violent in his defense, even when it isn’t needed. Either way, she’s part of the cast and here to stay. Her love for Bastion may have some roots in her past, though…

Signature cards: None yet

Theme song: None yet

 

Piggybank Bankins, the Duelist I LOVE YOU BASTION!!

Rank: Yellow; Age: 14; Nationality: Pig-bank; Deck type: Agents

She’s Bastion’s yandere. She also has a slot in her head and pig ears. She may be ultra-violent, but she’s still an important person in Bastion’s life; she taught him what true fear really felt like… Alternatively, she has a traumatic past.

Signature cards: Agent of Creation – Venus, Agent of Judgment – Saturn, A Sanctuary in the Sky

Theme song: Miku Miku ni Shite Ageru – Hatsune Miku

 

Baseball Bob I like baseball, but that’s about it.

Rank: Yellow; Age: 14; Nationality: Well, Americans like baseball, right?; Deck type: Baseball?

He joined Bastion after he historically broke the game of baseball forever. Afterwards he’s been the traditional normal person of the show. He’s also a baseball enthusiast.

Signature cards: Baseball Kid

Theme song: None yet

 

Fluffy Fred AAAAAAAAAW YEEEEEEAAAAH!!

Rank: Blue; Age: 15; Nationality: Yankee; Deck type: UNKNOWN?! For now.

He’s got a great red pompadour and an attitude! And by that, I mean he’s really loud and seems to care about Bastion almost as much as Piggybank does, without the ‘romantic’ undertones. He’s overly hyperactive, and also he’s easily swayed into doing stupid things.

Signature cards: None yet

Theme song: None yet

 

Ms. Crowler “No, an EVIL PLAN to make JADEN YUCKY get an F!”

Rank: Teacher; Age: Dunno; Nationality: Creepy; Deck type: Ancient Gear

No, it is NOT a gay man, as has been widely thought, but it’s actually a woman. No, seriously. People have been calling it gay for a really long time, and now it doesn’t even have the energy to tell them otherwise much these days. But that won’t stop us from calling it ‘it’, will it? It also bribed the animators in order to have Chazz born, though it was kinda stupid, since it could’ve just adopted… unless all of the kids were terrified of it. It also hates Jaden with a passion, and will never call him anything but ‘Yucky’. Its days are now endlessly filled with stupid schemes to just kinda ruin his life a tiny bit at a time. She does really care for Chazz, but can’t really show it for some, possibly trauma-related reason.

Signature cards: Ancient Gear Golem, Confiscation, Statue of the Wicked

Theme song: Zetsubou Restaurant - [Zan] Sayonara Zetsubou-Sensei

 

Chancellor Shepherd “But seriously, are you SURE you didn’t have a sex change operation?”

Rank: CHANCELLOR; Age: Old; Nationality: Old; Deck type: Presumably old, but we don’t know

As shown above, he’s one of the first men ever to learn of Crowler’s true dubious gender. He’s bald and has an awesome goatee, but this doesn’t stop some students from ignoring him. He is also a big pervert, as evidenced by the female uniforms. That’s pretty much it.

Signature cards: None yet.

Theme song: None yet.

 

Alexis Rhodes “Sorry, but I don’t have a catch-phrase yet.”

Rank: Blue; Age: I’m really not sure yet, I guess 15?; Nationality: Japanese; Deck type: Girlz, yeah!!

She’s basically the universal straight-wo-man in the series, since she’s the only one who’s not an idiot. She also obviously knows that Chazz likes her. She ALSO has two followers, which may have something to do with it. She also goes out with Zane Truesdale, because he’s overly awesome, though he talks gibberish. Sadly she seems psychopathic about him.

Signature cards: Cyber Blader (Jaden loves it. It hurt him so much to destroy her…)

Theme song: None yet.

 

Angry McArgues My last name has ‘argue’ in it? I never realized that…

Rank: Blue; Age: Same as Alexis; Nationality: Irish; Deck Type: UNKNOWN?! For now.

She’s exactly as labeled. She likes to find fault with stuff and argue about it. She’s also one of Alexis’ followers.

Signature cards: None yet.

Theme song: None yet.

 

Angry McArgues, Post-Duel Island But actually, he really IS my father…

Rank: Blue; Age: 15; Nationality: Irish; Deck type: Quillbolt Hedgehog OTK

After her escapades on Duel Island, she’s become slightly nicer to those around her. Rather than yell at everybody after something stupid happens, she only yells at everybody after something REALLY STUPID happens!

Signature cards: Quillbolt Hedgehog, Imperial Iron Wall, Mass Driver

Theme song: Agent Yoro wo Yuku – The IDOLM@STER

 

Nancy Wut Spuds,

Rank: Blue; Age: Same as Alexis; Nationality: Ditz; Deck type: UNKNOWN?! For now.

She’s the second ensemble darkhorse of the series, with Billy Hills. She can’t stop saying stupid stuff, and she realizes this. She’s still stupid, though. She’s currently married to some guy with a moustache. She also follows Alexis around.

Signature cards: None yet.

Theme song: None yet.

 

Nancy Wut, Post-Duel Island “He’s a bastard!”

Rank: Blue; Age: 15; Nationality: Weirdo; Deck type: Sonic the Hedgehog

She’s still weird, but she also loses a duel. On the plus side however, she can pilot helicopters and drive away landsharks. She’s still technically married, though.

Signature cards: Sonic the Hedgehog, Super Sonic

Theme song:

 

Zane Truesdale “I just say whatever the dub tells me to say, so that’s it.”

Rank: Blue; Age: 17 or 18; Nationality: Japanese; Deck type: Cyber Dragon

The most mysterious Obelisk so far, nothing much is known about him except that he hangs out with Alexis and says stuff nobody understands. Also he’s not above putting a child into jail in order to save himself. He’s a chick-magnet somehow, and also he’s the best duelist in the school, unless Jaden cheats.

Signature cards: Cyber Dragon, Cyber Twin Dragon

Theme song: None yet

 

Someone Jones “Yes! The ultra-rare limited-edition ‘Le Gasp’ is mine!”

Rank: Red, I guess; Age: 14; Nationality: Um… ‘Le’ is French. He’s French now; Deck type: Gasper Ghosts

He’s a guy who captured a collective group ‘gasp’ and uses it for his own, devious means. What this means is unknown, but apparently his Gasper Ghost deck is not to be toyed with, according to Syrus.

Signature cards: Le Gasp

Theme song: None yet

 

Koala Ko Ala “ROOOOOOOOOOOOAR!”

Rank: Red; Age: 16, I think; Nationality: Isn’t it obvious? He’s from Taiwan; Deck type: Koalas

Koala Ko Ala is… well, duh, he’s a guy who stays inside all day and never goes to class for some reason. Wasn’t it clear to you that a guy with the name ‘Koala Ko Ala’ would get crappy grades because he never goes to class? Also he can cook well, apparently, and has a funny nose. In addition, he has a really manly father who controls a massive ‘Koala Juice’ (eucalyptus juice) empire, which may be inadvertently poisoning Professor Banner.

Signature cards: Death Koala, Big Koala

Theme song: Chip n’ Dale Rescue Rangers – Chip n’ Dale Rescue Rangers show

 

Koala Ko Ala’s dad What’re ‘ya doin’, ‘ya sucky DUM DUMS?!

Rank: Owner of a massive empire; Age: The BEST one, 43; Nationality: The GREATEST one, from Saturn; Deck type: Drunkenness

Koala Ko Ala’s dad is a very manly man, the queen of England says so. He runs a huge Koala Juice empire and has possibly accidentally poisoned Professor Banner. He’s also a really intense father and lives on the moon. He’s also able to change the weather, time and space with sheer force of will.

Signature cards: Flipping the Table, Bottle of Beer

Theme song:

 

Beehive Larry “I don’t matter.”

Rank: Yellow; Age: 15; Nationality: Whatever; Deck type: UNKNOWN?! For now.

Beehive Larry is a guy used solely for a gag. Whether or not he’ll DO anything is yet to be revealed.

Signature cards: None yet.

Theme song: None yet.

 

Mohawk Jill “I haven’t said anything either.”

Rank: Red; Age: 15; Nationality: Punk-Rocker!; Deck type: Punk Rockers

She was originally used for a gag, but she’s also reportedly the strongest Slifer Red in school, which isn’t saying much.

Signature cards: Punky Skunky, The Dark Drummer

Theme song: None yet.

 

Lyman Banner “Simmer down, idiot students, I bet that you missed a TON of questions with those shades on. Take them off and check your answers.”

Rank: Teacher; Age: I dunno; Nationality: Um….; Deck type: Something?

He’s a teacher, and he also wears glasses. He owns a fat cat named Garfield that has a creepy voice, and he also doesn’t hesitate to insult his students. Due to his calm voice, people don’t seem to notice.

Signature cards: None yet.

Theme song: None yet.

 

Garfield “*In the voice of Lorenzo Music*MEOW.”

A cat.

He’s a fat cat. He’s orange. He has a creepily familiar voice. Questions?

Signature cards: WHY WOULD HE HAVE SIGNATURE CARDS?!

Theme song:

 

Fonda Fontaine “My name is Fonda Fontaine, and it is not a name pun!”

Rank: Teacher of gym; Age: She’d be offended if I gave a bad answer; Nationality: American, I suppose; Deck type: UNKNOWN?! For now.

She’s a busty young teacher, and she is constantly making the boys she teaches feel uncomfortable and think bad thoughts. You know. She also gets grumpy when disturbed at night, as shown by Alexis and co. when Syrus INFILTRATED THE BASE!!

Signature cards: Apparently female, since girls use cards like that in Yu-Gi-Oh, you know…

Theme song: None yet.

 

Shades Guy “Teacher, everyone’s FINISHED, except for Barry the Beginner.”

Rank: Red; Age: 16; Nationality: Shades-wearin’; Deck type: UNKNOWN?! For now.

He wears shades. He also has a problem with seeing stuff because of that. Wow.

Signature cards: None for now.

Theme song: None yet.

 

Shades Miligan, Shades Cyborg Just you wait, Alexis, I’ll win you over… SOMEHOOOOOW!!

Rank: Red; Age: 16; Nationality: Robonic; Deck type: Tennis!!

He still wears shades, but after being mauled by a velociraptor, he decided that he loves Alexis. Also 95% of his body is robotic now. He also has a rival in the form of Mann McOldsmobile…

Signature cards: Smash Ace, Service Ace, Deuce

Theme song: None yet.

 

Barry the Beginnier “Just for that remark, I’m stealing Yugi Mutou’s deck! You’ll see! You’ll all see!”

Rank: Red; Age: 14?; Nationality: Freak; Deck type: UNKNOWN?! For now.

He’s a kid who just entered the school for the heck of it and passed the entrance exams by pure luck. He also says something ominous. Rumor has is that he’ll soon be promoted to yellow just about the time where Yugi Mutou’s deck is on tour for some reason.

Signature cards: None for now.

Theme song: None yet.

 

Yugi Mutou, the Beginner ‘Always remember to wash your hands.’

Rank: Duel King; Age: 30’s; Nationality: Japanese; Deck type: Dark Magician

Yes, Barry the Beginner really WAS Yugi in disguise!! He’s, for some reason, been infiltrating the school to patrol today’s Dueling youth. Also it’s hinted… no, outright stated that he’s Banner’s master after the first half of season one.

Signature cards: Dark Magician, Dark Magician Girl, Kuriboh, Black Luster Soldier – Envoy of the Beginning

Theme song: Dancing Mad Part 4 – Final Fantasy III (IV)

 

Ms. Dorothy “Not many kids today would help old ladies pushing cars anymore, with their electric scooters, and their potato chips, and their walkmans and their game boys.”

Rank: Store-owner; Age: Old; Nationality: Uh, Kansas-born? Ha, name pun; Deck type: None.

No, her catch-phrase was NOT inspired by the Yu-Gi-Oh! Abridged Grandpa joke from the movie. She’s some lady who lacks common sense somehow, and she also likes people who help her. That’s all so far.

Signature cards: None. She doesn’t even play Yu-Gi-Oh.

Theme song: None yet

 

Countergirl Williams “Of COU’SE we still have ‘sum ca’ds, but jus’ regulah ones. He’a ya go.”

Rank: Counter girl; Age: Early twenties; Nationality: American, from New York; Deck type: None.

She’s some employee at the Duel Academy card shop whose job is apparently to speak in a blatant New Yorker accent and chew gum loudly. That’s about it.

Signature cards: None. She doesn’t even play Yu-Gi-Oh.

Theme song: None yet

 

Cocoa Titan “Gosh, maybe dueling and shooting all of those blind buys was stupid. Maybe I’ve caught their blindness!”

Rank: Evil; Age: The evillest one, 34; Nationality: Stupid; Deck Type: Stick Figures

He’s a man with a plan: to duel and shoot every blind guy he can find in the calf. Actually, he forces them to play, but he’s never lost to a blind guy, so I guess that’s okay for him. He carries around a millennium puzzle, which is actually a gun. Also he has a tendency to laugh whenever possible. He was hired to beat Jaden in a duel for two Hanewata cards and a D.3.S. Frog.

Signature cards: Stick Figure Purple, Stick Figure Red, Pandemonium

Theme song: None yet

 

Elemental Hero Avian “Don’t worry, I’ll call the police!”

Rank: Elemental Hero; Age: 4 Stars; Nationality: Duel Monster; Deck Type: Just a card

Apparently he’s a Duel Spirit, but nobody really gives a damn about him. Whenever Jaden plays him, something usually goes wrong.

Signature cards: Feather Shot

Theme song: EVA-01 – Neon Genesis Evangelion

 

Winged Kuriboh “OOH.”

Rank: Winged; Age: 3 Stars; Nationality: Kuriboh; Deck type: Just a card

An important Duel Spirit passed on from Yugi Muto to Jaden Yuki! Jaden hates him, though, due to a horrible memory of his that is revealed in episode 26.

Signature cards: Winged Kuriboh Lv10, Transcendent Wings

Theme song: None yet.

 

Joey Wheeler “Heh heh, TU-mah HU-mah!”

Rank: Super star; Age: 30’s; Nationality: Brooklynese; Deck type: Doesn’t need one now!

After his adventures with Yug n’ the gang, Joey went on to build a successful commercial career.

Signature cards: Doesn’t need any!

Theme song: None yet.

 

Janitorboy Ikkaku “I DON’T WANNA LIVE IF I HAVE TO CLEAN UP THIS MESS!!”

Rank: Janitor; Age: 20’s; Nationality: Japanese; Deck type: He’s just a janitor

He had a successful role in episode nine as a supporting character, and after that, went on to become a recurring character down on his luck. He always has to clean up the big messes, such as rebuilding entire coliseums.

Signature cards: None

Theme song: Rainbow Girl – Unknown (Please tell me)

 

Raspberyl “I’m young Etna.”

Rank: Delightful Demon; Age: 1578 (as of episode nine); Nationality: Demon; Deck type: Prism Rangers

She’s young, she’s spunky, and she’s NOT really Etna! That was just to throw you off! Raspberyl, after appearing in episode nine, has also appeared in episode twenty-six, and is rumored to appear in the next cross-over.

Signature cards: Football Game of Justice, Rifle Demon, Prism Red

Theme song: None yet

 

Paradox Brothers “That’s all for me!” Tristan huffed.

“And next turn I give you my guarantee,” Para added,

“This duel will be ours, just wait and see!” Tristan wrapped up. “Oh, and I’ll set another card.”

“OH, CRAP!!” an onlooker realized! “THEY’RE PULLIN’ OUT ALL DA’ STOPS! THEY RHYMED THRICE!!”

Rank: Fakers; Age: 30’s; Nationality: Liars; Deck type: Gate Guardian

Spoiler: They’re actually both Tristan in disguise.

Signature cards: Gate Guardian, Dark Guardian, Da Puppet Master

Theme song: None yet

 

Zazz and Slade Princeton “BECAUSE WE’RE IDIOTS!!

Rank: Bussinessmen; Age: 20’s; Nationality: Jerks; Deck type: UNKNOWN?! For now.

Zazz and Slade are Chazz’s older twin brothers who gave him his last name. They’re also abusive and want to take over the world through nonsensical and stupid reasons. Slade has a weird voice that makes him sound like he’s talking to a two year-old, and Zazz don’t take no crap.

Signature cards: None yet.

Theme song: None yet.

 

Wheeler the Velociraptor “AW, DAMN IT.”

Rank: Test subject; Age: Adult; Nationality: Velociraptor; Deck type: Velociraptor

He’s a velociraptor that was brought back to life as part of project to see if dinosaurs could play card games. He and all his kin are killed after mauling Shades Milligan.

Signature cards: DNA Surgery, Acrobat Velociraptor

Theme song: None yet.

 

Depressed Kid “There’s no such thing as the Duel Giant!” Depressed Kid said.

“Really?”

“No!” Depressed Kid turned around with Big Kid and walked away.

“Really?”

“No!”

“Reeeeeally, yo?”

“No!”

“I think there IS no Duel Giant,” Syrus said, “I mean, he said ‘no’ four times!”

Rank: Yellow; Age: 14; Nationality: Wimp; Deck type: Failure

This kid is depressed, but finds solace in his friend, Big Kid. Sadly, Depressed Kids hasn’t made another appearance since he proclaimed his thirst for revenge.

Signature cards: Super Spiky Razor Sharp Rhino

Theme song: None yet.

 

Big Kid “Yo!” Jaden called out to Depressed Kid and Big Kid. “Are you the Duel Giant?”

“Waah!” Big Kid gasped!

Rank: Yellow; Age: 16; Nationality: Big = Texan; Deck type: Doesn’t play the game

A big kid who’s Depressed Kid’s best friend. He’s at Duel Academy in order to learn how to design cool games. But could he be the Duel Giant…?

Signature cards: None at all.

Theme song: None yet.

 

Twisthead “Heh, ass-butt!”

Rank: Criminal; Age: 16; Nationality: Jerkass American; Deck type: Fiend

A delinquent who enjoys picking on Slifer Reds. Recently he and his friend Moe were arrested for hustling cards from students in disguise as ‘the Duel Giant’.

Signature cards: Giant Orc, Second Goblin

Theme song: None yet.

 

Moe “Yeah, ass-butt!”

Rank: Criminal; Age: 16; Nationality: Jerkass British; Deck type: Fiend

Contrary to popular belief, Moe is British. He also enjoys picking on Slifer Reds. Recently he and his friend Twisthead were arrested for hustling cards from students in disguise as ‘the Duel Giant’.

Signature cards: Giant Orc, Second Goblin

Theme song: None yet.

 

Dustin the Old Copper Man “WHUZZ GOIN’ ON IN THAR?!”

Rank: Campus Police Chief; Age: 63; Nationality: A man of justice; Deck type: Doesn’t need one

Dustin has been a policeman for the past forty years, but sadly since he’s been getting on in years, nobody gives him much credit anymore. However he may have a secret past to be told in the futue…

Signature cards: He doesn’t need any, he has a flashlight and a gun.

Theme song: None yet.

 

Dan the Drawer “I got the Cherry Pie McSammichMeal,” Jaden sighed. “did YOU get the Egg McSammichMeal?”

“No, I got… Cheese McSammichMeal… and I’m still lactose intolerant. Plus there was a Lolwut card inside.” Dan the Drawer took four Lolwut cards out of his Sammich. “Oh wait, there were four.”

“I feel bad for you.”

“…”

Rank: Blue; Age: 17; Nationality: Sweedish?; Deck type: Secretly Exodia

Poor kid, he’s got crappy luck. After drawing crappy cards in his card games, he’s given into despair and headed into the jungle to train his card-drawing skills. For SOME reason, this makes him buff, and hungry. Thus he steals the ever-popular snack food, ‘Sammiches’. He also has a Stand (look up JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure) named Def Leppard who possibly gave him his unlucky status, but shown by him in the future, his luck never recovers.

Signature cards: Drawber, Drawler, Lolwut

Theme song: Pour Some Sugar on Me – Def Leppard

 

Dark Magician “Uh, who the hell’re you?”

“Why, I’m Yugi!” Barry the Beginner persuaded!

“No. You’re not.”

“…”

“…”

“…”

Rank: Magician; Age: 7 Stars; Nationality: Dark; Deck type: Is a card

The spunky companion to Yugi Muto, he’s everything you could ask for in a cool magician dude who wears purple. He can also put on another outfit and become the Dark Magician of Black Chaos.

Signature cards: Thousand Knives, Dark Magician of Black Chaos

Theme song: Disgaea Rhapsody – Disgaea 2

 

Mann McOldsmobile “M’name’s Mann McOldsmobile, and the car model was NOT named after my family!”

Rank: Red; Age: 18; Nationality: Japanese-American; Deck type: UNKNOWN?! For now.

Mann McOldsmobile is the oldest friend/student Jaden has, and boy is he a doozy. He has a troubling past concerning violence and the card Skyscraper, and he also acts like both a ladies’ man AND a little kid. He’s the strongest person on Jaden’s crew and joined the school due to its policies on killing, and he soon becomes an indispensible member of the Duel Academy team. Though he may be jolly, it’s quite clear that he’ll kill you if you anger him too much.

Signature cards: None yet.

Theme song: None yet

 

Dr. Card “Don’t forget me, I’ll become a recurring character soon! DON’T FORGET ME!!”

Rank: Evil stupid genius; Age: ???; Nationality: ???; Deck type: Various

Don’t forget him.

Signature cards: Ocean Dragon Lord – Neo Daedalus

Theme song: None yet

 

SeaweedMan “Okay.” Chazz turned back to SeaweedMan. “Now, remove your sea weed and I’ll tell you my descision.

“Alright, but you’ll be shocked~” SeaweedMan took off his sea weed… and had more underneath. “That’s all there is to it, sea weed~”

“Oh, well that’s a rip-off. Let’s take over the world!”

Rank: Chancellor; Age: Ancient; Nationality: Seaweed; Deck type: Presumably Armed Dragon

A mysterious man who gives Chazz Ojama Yellow for no reason. He also runs the arctic Duel Academy of North Academy, located in scenic Southern Georgia. His real desire is to lead a youth to world domination, allowing him to take all of the world’s ice cream supplies.

Signature cards: Armed Dragon Lv10

Theme song: Hostility Restrained – Neon Genesis Evangelion

 

Jesse Anderson “I don’t care! Yer’ possibly goin’ down! I can’t let Georgia down like this!”

Rank: Blue; Age: 14; Nationality: American; Deck type: Zoa

Our down-home hero from the future of the series, put in early because it would make more sense as the series goes on. In stark contrast to Jaden, he says ‘y’all’ often. He’s somewhat cowardly, but holds his home state, Georgia, in high esteem, as well as always helps out his allies when they need him. He can also pilot a laser-shooting submarine full of kids.

Signature cards: Zoa, Metalzoa

Theme song: None yet

 

Blair Kaiba “I love you!”

Rank: Adrift; Age: 8; Nationality: Japanese; Deck type: Pervy

A young girl whose love life was set in motion once she was sent to jail by Zane Truesdale at the tender age of five. She then steals Mann McOldsmobile’s place in Duel Academy and becomes a student to stalk Zane Truesdale. She’s Kaiba’s little sister by means that don’t matter. Why not? Also he gave her the deck she uses as some sort of prank. It’s unknown what Mokuba thinks of this. She was last seen sent adrift in a raft by Alexis out of anger.

Signature cards: The Maiden in Love, Happy Marriage

Theme Song: None yet.

 

Blue-Spike the Hairy “So he just beat all the wimps? So what?”

Age: 15; Rank: Blue; Nationality: American; Deck type: Marauding Captain Fail

A guy with blue, spiky hair. He loses, despite being one of the toughest kids in North Duel Academy.

Signature cards: Marauding Captain

Theme song: None yet.

 

Kidvoice “Yeah, it’s just a bunch of useless bums anyway!”

Age: 14; Rank: Blue; Nationality: American; Deck type: Marauding Captain Fail

A guy with the voice of an eight year-old. He loses, despite being one of the toughest kids in North Duel Academy.

Signature cards: Marauding Captain

Theme song: None yet.

 

Bighead Brawny “I bet you can’t beat US!”

Age: 16; Rank: Blue; Nationality: American; Deck type: Marauding Captain Fail

A kid with a huge head and big muscles. He loses, despite being one of the toughest kids in North Duel Academy.

Signature cards: Marauding Captain

Theme song: None yet.

 

Wavy-Hair Wilson “He won’t last two minutes!”

Age: 16; Nationality: American; Nationality: American; Deck type: Marauding Captain Fail

A kid with wavy hair. He loses, despite being one of the toughest kids in North Duel Academy.

Signature cards: Marauding Captain

Theme song: None yet.

 

I will not put this into a spoiler.

[Weather Report - Stand]

So, all of you, I have finally gotten around to making Chapter One looking manageable! As to be expected, after a while, my quality became better by leaps and bounds (By Episode Four), soon leaving me unhappy with the first few episode I'd done. So I finally got around to redoing Chapter One, as previously stated! Maybe I'll even get to Chapter Two someday! Which, by the way, had to be moved here due to the sheer mass of edits I did.

 

So to those of you who enjoy the series, you may be pleased to see the jokes I've added or changed. Those who have been turned off by the first chapter, try it again (but the second will still be horrible for the time being. Chapter Three is better). And to the ones who have never read this before, give it a shot. And provide comments, mostly criticism. I haven't been criticized on more than some spelling errors in a looooong time. Tell me what to fix (besides Chapter Two) and enjoy.

 

[spoiler=Episode Two: Welcome to Duel Academy]

Yu-Gi-Oh! GX!

Episode Two: Welcome to Duel Academy

 

The loud engine of a ‘choppah could be heard as a bunch of people approached a volcano on a random island, in, well, a helicopter. “Attention new Duel Academy students…” a raspy and mechanical voice started.

“What? I can’t hear you!” a distant voice yelled.

“If you haven’t gone deaf already, you would have realized we are approaching your new home away from home.” the raspy voice continued.

“What!? In a volcano!?” someone yelled.

“I can’t hear you;” another person explained, “everybody’s deaf!”

“What?”

“Yay! We’re gonna be all nice and toasty!” Some idiot yelled pointing to the volcano, and again no one heard him.

 

“Now now, I know you’re excited, but don’t shout. And for your information, a volcano is a perfectly safe place to live,” the voice said yet again.

“I wanna go home!” someone yelled.

“WHAT?! I CAN’T HEAR YOU!!”

“Huh?”

“Tighten your seat belts and adjust your seats into an upright position, because we’re about to land on Academy Island!” the raspy voice shouted. The helicopter strafed downward, causing everybody hit their heads on the ceiling.

 

“Hey… wait a second… we teleported!” Jaden exclaimed, surprised. They were in a large dome thingy, not unlike the dome in the previous installment, wearing their new uniforms, and there was a ginormous screen reading, 'DA' in fancy print, in front of a massive seating area. This was all in a cool blue color that made you feel the duelin' spirit.

“I can teleport! My mum will be so proud!” Random Voice sang.

“BOO!” Another Voice shouted. Dozens of kids sent to the school for idiots who spend all their time playing card games were all standing there in ranks and regiments of red, blue, and yellow uniforms.

“Good… now if I get led to my untimely and bloody death, I won’t have to worry about by clothes getting bloodstained…” Syrus said emo-ly, admiring his new red coat.

“Silly kid, if you die, you won’t HAVE to worry about your clothes!” some guy assured.

“Huh?” Syrus turned his head, and the guy who just spoke got poked in the eye by Syrus’s wacky hair, and they fell to the ground.

“AAAAAAUGH, AHH, AAAAAAHH!!” he screamed, rolling on the floor, bleeding profusely.

“Why can’t I get poked in the eye and bleed profusely? I deserve it, after all...” Syrus muttered. Suddenly the screen changed to reveal a bald person in another red-colored uniform, mocking all pre-concieved conventions of skill at this crappy school, and he held the world record for ‘longest goatee’.

 

“Good morning,” He said, and several people went, well…

“Le Gasp!” The collective gasp was echoed throughout the crowd. Suddenly, Someone Jones pulled a jar into the air and closed it quickly.

“Yes! The ultra-rare limited-edition ‘Le Gasp’ gasp is mine!” Someone said. “Well anyways, my name is Someone Jones. Good to meet you,” he shrugged, and being a minor character and all, he disappeared.

“It’s Professor Dumbledore!” Random Voice gasped.

“His goatee reminds me of home…” Bastion sighed.

“I wanna go home!!”

“I’M STILL DEAF!! WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT GOATEES?!”

“’Elcome my students,” the Dumbledore/Goatee/Computer virus continued.

“No! You minor characters made us miss the ‘and’ and the ‘w’ in ‘welcome’!” Alexis screamed in anger.

“…named Chancellor Shepherd, or Master, if you prefer it, and YOU!” He paused to point at a snoring Jaden. “... are the brightest and best duelists in the world.”

“SNORE!” Jaden literally snored.

“Now please, get yourself settled in at your assigned dorms. I think you’ll find them quite comfortable, depending on how you're ranked, of course… huhuhuhahahahaha...” The kids grimaced at his evil laugh.

 

The Jaden-Syrus duo were soon outside, sitting on one of many giant rock/slab things outside of the building, both holding YugiNavis™ (little hand held dueling cell phones, yo).

“Well, I don’t know about you Sy, but I’m in the Slifer Red dorm,” Jaden announced.

“That’s sad! Same as me!” ‘Sy’ replied. Bastion walked by in yellow, hoping nobody would bully him.

As long as I don't say anything, they'll ignore me, Bastion told himself.

“Hey! You in red, too?!” Jaden shouted!

“AAH!!” Bastion ran away. He soon re-appeared behind one of the many rock/slab things with an evil smile. “Er, well, let’s see here." He began inspecting his uniform. "Yellow sleeves, yellow buttons, I don’t think so.” He replied.

“Oh! I get it, that’s why Sy and I are in red dorm,” Jaden said, suddenly being smart for once. "It's because we're wearing RED!!"

“Please don’t tell me you just figured that out just now…” Bastion sighed. Is he colorblind or something? He thought.

“So what! D’ja ever think I’m colorblind?! WHAT A LAUGH, YO!!” Jaden shouted with sudden rage. How did he know? Bastion wondered.

I hope nobody realizes that I have to use eye drops, Jaden worried, or else I'll be bullied for using eye drops!

“Uhh… No actually, I didn’t think you were colorblind… erm… b-boo?” Bastion stammered.

“No, but I could have been.” Jaden said with a worried chuckle, and he saw Bastion sneaking off. “See you around the dorms!” He shouted at him, waving, and Bastion darted off. He’s a madman!! He thought as he ran, with tears in his eyes.

“I doubt that, seeing as your dorm’s over there…” Syrus's voice drifted. Jaden looked up from his YugiNavi™, and saw a thing with a red roof.

“So THAT’S where it is! Teleport power!” Jaden shouted, striking a dumb pose. And he and Syrus were on the deck of a cream colored building with a red roof.

 

“Wow, how’d you do that? Anyways,” Syrus frowned, changing the subject, “This isn’t a dorm, it’s like one of those outhouse thingies. Only it has a deck. Not to be associated with cards, it's a building deck. Oh well, at least our bodies will be intact if the building topples and we fall to our untimely deaths,” Syrus sighed, shrugging, and overlooking the nearby cliff.

“Hey! Check out the view! It’s sweet! Hey seagull! What you lookin’ at? Hey… yeargh! Help!” Jaden screamed. Syrus opened a door. Jaden walked in, and now had blood stains on his uniform, whilst holding the seagull he’d just beheaded to save his skin. Depending on your region, it was censored by 4Kids.

“Kinda small, huh?” Syrus asked weakly.

“Hey, you’re tiny! It’s me we need to worry about!" Jaden laughed! "I’m going through puberty and I’m living in this palace! And for our first year here! I'll be crushin' myself to death, yo! Aha-ha-haaa!!” Jaden laughed loudly. In case you don’t know, he’s a bouncy optimist.

 

“It’s weird isn’t it, meeting at the entrance exams, and now we're roommates?” Syrus supposed, mustering all the enthusiasm he had. “You think we were connected to each other in some ancient life, Jaden? Like you were the Egyptian Pharaoh and I was the guardian, Seto?” He continued blabbering.

“No offense, but that’s just lame.” Jaden said, bemused.

“B-b-but it could be true!” Syrus bawled.

“Forget it! They broke the molds when they made the two of us,” Jaden continued, ready for a duel to the death. Of wit.

“Yeah… but for different reasons...” Syrus sighed.

“We’re going to have to work on that confidence, but first, let’s work on this sweet pad!” He said.

“I’m an emo-sadsack! I’m not supposed to-” Syrus protested as Jaden ripped the curtains open.

 

“ROOOOOOOOOOOOAR!” something roared. “THOSE WERE CLOSED FOR A REASON!!” Said thing had a low and very annoyed-sounding voice, reminiscent of a koala bear.

“Sor-” Syrus began, but was rudely interrupted by Jaden.

“Sorry, we didn’t see you up there…”

“Well, can you see me now!?” da' thing shouted menacingly, and was, as it turned out, a large koala bear that was sitting up on the top bunk of their new bunk bed! “ROOOOOAR!” the koala bear roared again and Jaden and Syrus hugged each other, screaming.

“I always loved you as a brother, Syrus!” Jaden wept.

“That’s game!! I mean, gay!! Card humor before getting eaten!!” Syrus explained, for no good reason.

“Stop screaming! Who are you and what are you doing in my room?” The koala roared again. Jaden and Syrus gave a sigh of relief.

“Oh, sorry. My name’s Jaden Yucky; I mean Yuki.” Jaden said, rubbing the back of his head. “I sure am happy you’re not eating us yet.”

“Yeah, I’m Syrus,” Syrus said, looking at his feet in fear. Fear... of DA' BEAR.

“We’re your new roommates!” Jaden added quickly. The koala grunted and rolled around in his bed.

“You’re new, alright, so let me tell you how things work here,” the koala graciously decided.

 

“Oh, I know how things work. You duel and they give you a color. Like we’re Red for Red-Hot Awesome!” Jaden shouted, punching the air.

“No, we’re red for blood-red. Or hemorrhoid-red… ” Syrus said, shuddering, but no-one heard him.

“Uhh... you need to know how the color thing works. That’s more important than anything,” the koala reminded, and Jaden decided to ask another dumb question immediately after that.

“But we-" He stopped mid-word when he thought of koala-scars he'd seen on television and the koala’s glistening, sharp teeth. “...IGNORE ME!” Jaden shouted, as he sank under the bed.

 

“You got three different kinds of students here.” He pulled out three large posters from behind his back and slapped ‘em open. The first one had a picture of Zane Truesdale standing in front of a castle. “There’s Obelisk Blue students…” the koala began, taking out a second poster. This one featured Bastion in front of a mansion of some sort. “Then there’s Ra Yellow students…” the koala continued, and he prepared the final poster. This one showed Jaden sitting on a cliff in front of the new tool shed they lived in. “And here, in the Slifer Toolshed, are us the lowest of the low.”

“How am I on that poster when I just got here, yo?” asked Jaden, curiously.

“The blues are the highest ranked students. Some kids are in there because they’re great, others because they’re rich. Or they bribed the producers or manga-ka. Yellows are the second highest. Mostly because they’re the younger students with a lot of potential. Even Bastian. Who cares if he has an IQ of 42? He SURE can duel a tie match!” The koala paused for a second. He pulled out his ‘Dramatic Voice’ medicine and gulped it down, and in a dramatic, deep voice, he said, “AND THEN, THERE IS US. The Red Wonders,” the koala finished, finally.

“They should gave called us the Blood Reds!” Syrus protested. "It stands for my beliefs more that way!"

“Ooh! Red Wonders! I should make a fan club!” Jaden said dreamily.

“No, 'Wonders' as in ‘I wonder how these blunders even got this far’.” the koala groaned, and Jaden’s face lit up.

“That rhymed!” he exclaimed happily.

“That pun was just as useless as I am…” Syrus mused.

 

“Look, we’re bottom of the barrel here,” the koala began again. Actually, I think we should give him a name. Like Koala Ko Ala. Okay, his name is now Koala Ko Ala. “Oh, I’m Chumley by the way,” Koala Ko Ala introduced. Drat. So much for Koala Ko Ala. Nah, let’s keep it as Koala Ko Ala.

 

**********

 

Syrus and Jaden were outside on the cliff overlooking the beach (it really tells you how much they hate the reds when they’re stationed near a GIANT DEATH-CLIFF), and Syrus was hunched up into a ball of depression. “Aww, don’t tell me you’re still depressed!” Jaden said, annoyed somehow, but Syrus remained hunched up. "I thougt that you WANTED us to get away from that koala guy! So smile, yo!"

“But Chumley said we’re the worst…. and I didn’t need another reminder to tell me THAT…” Syrus sighed. Suddenly, an assassin jumped behind Syrus and pulled a knife to his back. “EEEEEEK!!”

“Call him Koala Ko Ala,” he muttered menacingly, and he disappeared just as quickly as he'd appeared. Shrugging it off, they decided to take a walk.

"Let's walk to forget what just happened there!" Jaden suggested.

"A-agreed," Syrus shuddered.

 

“EEH, forget what that koala told you, red’s a sweet color!” Jaden said as they trailblazed the dirt road between them and the school, happily as always. “Think about it, where does ‘Red Hot’ come from? From red, baby!” Jaden continued. Syrus stopped and started to cheer up. And he was supposed to be emo. “Besides, the year hasn’t even started yet! So how can we be the worst?” Jaden continued yet again.

“Yeah! You’re Right!" the blue-hair boy cheered! "Red is for BLOOD! Dripping! Dead! Wet! I’m like a murder scene! A life just waitin’, ripe for the pluckin’! Or one of those bottles or vials of blood with HIV in it, right?” Syrus asked, suddenly becoming stranger than usual. “Hey, I’m not a bottle!" he laughed! "DITCHED!!” He started dashing towards the main building, leavin' Syrus in the dust.

"But... uh... HUH?" Syrus blinked.

“There’s some kind of duel action taking place in there, hurry up!” Jaden called to Syrus, and he entered the building. From the outside, you could see that it was composed four large domes upon towers, for some reason; one red, the smallest one, one yellow, at the halfway mark, and one blue, the tallest of the color trio. And above that one was a large white dome.

 

“Hey! Wait up! How do you know?” Syrus asked, out of breath, while Jaden merely replied with an

“I just know.” Instantly, after mere seconds of off-screen dashing, they were inside one of the billions of identical maze-like corridors, cold and unforgivingly pipe-filled. “It was this way. I’m sure of it,” Jaden repeated, while Syrus had an uncertain look on his face.

“How do you know?” Syrus stressed.

“I just do. I’m the main character, so there. I can do that type of stuff. Be quiet and come 'ere,” Jaden snapped, and the rest of the journey was in silence. Idiot. Can’t he smell it in the air? Jaden thought. Hmm... Knowing him, he’s got no hope of smelling da' duelin' spirit, yo.

 

Maybe I could if the pollen count wasn’t about to bring about by super-sensetive allergies… Syrus thought. “Oh! Wow! Cool! ” Jaden made noises of admiration was they entered are large dome-shaped area with rows of chairs climbing up, and a large Dueling arena in the middle. “Radical! Sweet! Off-da-hook, yo!”

“Yeah, no kidding. This stainless place is full of deadly chemicals that would kill us in a millisecond,” Syrus said, holding his ‘Big Book of Deadly Chemicals Within Everyday Objects’ and staring around at the crisp, clean zone. Suddenly he noted the sight of two people standing on the arena from far-off. “People!” Syrus exclaimed, tugging Jaden’s sleeve franticly.

 

“Dobbson, I say it'd be awesome to duel here, I reckon!” an irritating voice said.

“Yeah Billy, it would, huh, Billy, huh?” a deep voice replied.

“Let’s find out!” Jaden exclaimed, and ran up to the two boys. The irritating person had glasses on and looked nothing like a hillbilly, betraying his appearance. The deep-voiced one looked about three years too old to be in this school, but maybe he’s just good at flunking. Just look at his catchphrase. He also had pointy hair. “Wanna duel?”

“Don’t! If you slip you would land on the floor and chomp on your own tongue!” Syrus exclaimed desperately.

“Hey look! Slifer Rejects, I reckon!” the irritating voiced person laughed.

“Look at the crest do 'ya THINK Slifer's up there, huh, kid? This is OBELISK territory, huh, kid, huh?” the deep-voiced person pointed just above the entrance. There was a dead deer’s head on a plate stuck to the wall. “Crap, we’ve gotta replace it, huh, Billy?”

THAT’S SLIFER?! Syrus thought. “Y-y-you know, if all peoples start hunting at the massive rates they do know, the world would be extinct of all animals within less than a hundred years.” Syrus sighed, trying to change the subject.

“Hey! Like I said, let’s duel, yo!” Jaden called to the (stupid) people there.

“Hey! You’re a kid, I reckon!” Irritatingly-Voiced Person said, bug-eyed.

“Hey Chazz, it’s that applicant you saw beat Ms. Crowler, huh, Chazz? Huh?” Deep Voiced Person called into the sidelines. Immediately, Chazz appeared! He frowned at the world.

“Deep-Voice Dobbson, Billy Hills! SHADDAP!! YOUR VOICES INFURIATE ME!!!” Chazz screamed.

“My name’s Jaden!” Jaden shouted, but he slipped over and fell right afterwards. “Eh, whassup, Chazz?” he finished, striking a "gangsta" pose.

 

“Hey, that’s Chazz Princeton. Top Duelist at Prince Dueling School. He’s gonna be the next King of Games! Top Duelist in the World! You can't just talk to HIM like THAT!! IreckonhuhChazzhuh!!” Billy Hills and Deep-Voice Dobbson said, in startling synchronosity.

“Impossible,” Jaden grunted, folding his arms. Deep Voice Dobbson and Billy Hills collapsed onto the floor, dead inside. “You see, I’m tops!” Jaden finished. He rushed up to where Chazz was and bumped into him. “Can I have my free duel now?” Jaden asked. Chazz snorted and Jaden was blasted back to where he was before via a devastating CHAZZISAWESOMEENERGYBLAST, an invisible laser eye beam! At this, Deep-Voice and Billy jumped up and started lol-ing.

“You can’t even deflect the Chazzisawesomeenergyblast! I reckon you suck!!”

“Yeah, ANYBODY with REAL duel skills can deflect an ENERGY BLAST, huh, Chazz?”

“CAN IT, YOU VOICE REJECTS!” Chazz screamed. “This… erm… kid might be right,” Chazz continued, stepping down from the sidelines.

“HUH?! Waddaya mean Chazz?” Dobbson asked.

“Just a lil' bit," Chazz added. "I mean, he did beat my mum and her legendary monster. It’s gotta take some skill to do that.”

“Mr. -- I mean, Mrs. Crowler’s your mom? RECKON?!?!” Billy Hills gasped, slackjawed.

“Or, what it was luck?” Chazz smirked, not hearing Billy Hills for some reason.

 

“NEVAR!! Let’s Duel!” Jaden screamed.

“Don’t! The only reason he exists is because his dad-mom bribed the writers of this series to write in a son. Crowler, yes, had the producers and all those people write in Chazz just for it. And if you mess with him, IT'LL EAT YOU ALIVE,” a voice warned. They all turned to face Alexis.

“This room is off limits! Even during the afternoon!” Chazz screamed. "Unless, y'know, they have a DUEL here, and stuff."

“Wow, I'm gonna tell the Chancellor you hijacked the Duel Dome this early into the year,” Alexis said in a mother-like tone, turning towards the elevator marked 'EXPRESS ELEVATOR TO CHANCELLOR SHEPHERD'S ROOM'.

“No! I won’t get din-din if you do that!” Chazz screamed! “C’mon, idiots! Let’s book it!!” Everyone but Syrus, Alexis and Jaden screamed and rushed off (well, Jaden took a few steps before realizing his mistake).

 

“She’s haawt,” Syrus drooled, staring at her humongous boobs.

“By the way, sorry if Chazz rubbed you the wrong way. Those weirdos can be like that with Slifers. Bye~” Alexis suddenly bid, leaving in an aura of concentrated cute, and creating a small pink ray of light in her wake.

“Don’t worry, lady. I’ll just beat them in a card game, thus robbin’ them of all credibility! You don’t have to take care of us,” Jaden promised.

“We’ll see,” she winked with a wry laugh and disappeared again.

“Hey, speaking of not having dinner, it’s six o’ clock, the universal dinner time hour!!” Syrus suddenly realized, pulling Jaden away.

“Whee!” Jaden laughed. As he fell onto the floor, being pulled through all the muck on the floor, passing Alexis.

“What’s your name again?” he asked. I 'kin see up her oddly-short Japanese-style schoolgirl skirt! Neat! And yet I’m filled with rage oddly enough.

“Alexis Rhodes,” Alexis replied, and Jaden was pulled off-screen.

 

In a mere hour, within the Obelisk castle everyone was drinking fruit cocktails and champagne, Chazz’s mum and some other ‘haawt’ teacher-lady telling everyone to ‘not tell their parents’.

 

In the Ra Mansion, everyone was drinking ancient Japanese tea, the types that were made hundreds of years ago, and eating fish. Yeah, they’re pretty poor, too.

 

In the Slifer Toolshed, everyone was starving, only having rice, tuna and curry to eat. “Isn’t it abuse not to feed us well?” a kid asked. The Headmaster with funny hair started a speech suddenly.

“Hello, everyone, my name, which you will not hear again until the next time you see me in class is—"

Jaden suddenly cried “This stuff’s GOOD!”, scoffing down his meal. The large figure of the headmaster towered over him.

“If someone does not feel like waiting and learning the names of key characters… oh well, let’s eat!” the Headmaster decided.

“YAAAY!!” The entire Slifer Red cast of characters held Jaden into the air as tortillas were flung into the sky.

Meanwhile, Syrus was pouring tea for himself, muttering about how if he spilled the kettle he would have his hand burnt to ashes and all that crap. What an idiot.“Would you like some?” he asked Koala Ko Ala.

“NYOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” Ko Ala roared, evilly! "I already HAVE a sammich, thank you." He held up a handy sammich. It was round.

 

Syrus shrank into a corner and held a knife at his wrist. The knife was trembling in his hands, almost touching his wrist. “I… Must… Not… Hair… Tells… Me… Not… T-to… Must… Not… Kill… Self..” He was muttering.

“Yes, that’s my boy…” his hair encouraged. Jaden walked into the room and didn’t quite care to ask about Syrus’s psychotic breakdown, and the pot burning through the carpet, when something beeped. Jaden pulled out his YugiNavi™ and a message from Chazz played instantly, somehow.

“Duel me. Midnight. Don’t tell anyone about me and Alexis. Winner gets loser’s best card. Over,” Chazz said through the machine.

“Him and Alexis? WHATEVER could THAT mean? Bye!” Jaden waved to the kiddies, leaving in a blinding flash.

“My eyes!” Syrus yelled, recoiling from said flash. Jaden teleported into the arena, followed by Syrus. “Why’d you bring ME, too?!” Syrus complained, ignored. They saw Chazz and co. sitting on the immense rows of bleachers and seats.

 

“Well, well, well. You came. Wait…” Chazz said, starting to walk down from the seats, stepping carefully over row after row of chairs. Suddenly he fell, bouncing off the rows of seats!! “ARGH!! Ow, oof, eef, ouff, urgh, augh, yow, poopie!!” He struggled to his feet while his lackies took to the stairs on the sides of the seating area.

“Yeah. So, what is it about you and Alexis?” Jaden asked.

“Wait, did I say that…?" the black-haired death-spike head remembered. Oh, crap, he didn't know! "Uh… blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah I can’t hear you.” Chazz said absentmindedly, sticking his fingers into his ears. “Let’s see who’s the REAL king of games. And have your best card ready,” Chazz growled. Heh heh. I’m gonna give this idiot a Slifer the Sky Dragon. Heh heh. Irony. Chazz thought. Yes, he had an illegal Slifer the Sky Dragon card handy. And he shall NEVER be able to use it in a real duel! Heh, I'm good.

Finally I can get rid of my stupid Winged Kuriboh! Jaden decided.

 

“DUEL,” Chazz said, as his Duel Disk started shifting into Duel Mode. Their Life Points flashed to 4000. “Reborn Zombie! Defense Mode!” Chazz called, slapping down his card. (Reborn Zombie: 1600 Defense Points)

“Hey, that was sudden,” Jaden stated. “You didn’t say we were dueling yet. Screw it. Just screw it all. I’ll give you a Wing Kuriboh for free, I just decided!”

“Why would I want that crappy card?!” Chazz ordered.

“But you’d win it if you—”

“SHUT UP!! I set one card and end,” Chazz finished. The Reborn Zombie was a fleshed skeleton, with no eyes, several bones revealed where the flesh was ripped.

“Brains brains brains,” The Zombie said in a spooky voice.

“BOO,” someone said.

“Shut up, Zombie!” Chazz ordered.

“Brains…”

 

Jaden checked his cards. He drew an Elemental Hero Avian. “OOH” a voice said suddenly, from within his deck.

“Fluffball!! Looks like you’re still with me, since Chazz is an idiot…” Jaden sighed, sadly. “Okay! I use Polly-Merry-Zay-Shun!! I fuse Elemental Hero Avian and Domi… Bursti… screw it all!” Jaden finished. Some weird lines appeared in the air and began swirling. The swirly lines started to suck in wind and the two cards were summoned abruptly, and they flew into a weird cyclone.

“What’s goin’ on?” Avian asked. “Wait, woah, WOOOOOAH!!”

“Elemental Hero Flame Wingman!!” Jaden called! The green machine-man came out, dagon head hand at the ready.

“Ha, Lamer. You set off my trap. Cthonian Polymer, do your stuff! Wahahahaha!!” Chazz laughed as his Trap card flipped up. A strange purple aura emitted from the card, which showed some fat guy getting consumed by evil fire.

“Oh no! A sudden comeback,” a newcomer yelped in shock. Alexis came walking into the arena, drawing everybody's attention, most notably Syrus's and Chazz's. The Reborn Zombie shattered and the aura washed over E-Hero Flame Wingman, causing him to jump onto Chazz’s side of the field! Covered in the purple aura, the colors of the monster became much darker.

 

“Heh heh. Fail,” Chazz heh-heh-ed.

“What’s that even do?! And why’d she just burst in here?” Jaden gasped!

“I felt like watching, duh,” Alexis revealed.

“Well, the effect is OBVIOUS, NOOB. I just took control of your hero. JUST THINK FOR ONCE!!” Chazz screamed!

“Anyways, I can summon another monster according to the Special Summon, though.” Jaden said. “Alright then, Elemental Hero Action Figure/Clayman! Defense Mode!” Jaden called. And a large brown figure appeared, and by brown, we don’t mean to say that he was made out of poop. With large balls of mud for parts, it obviously had a high defense. (Elemental Hero Clayman: 800 Attack Points, 2000 Defense Points)

 

“Heh heh. I summon Cthonian Soldier! Now, Flame Wingman, use Flame Dragonarm! Attack! You too, Cthonian guy,” Chazz shouted, pointing to Clayman. The Elemental Hero jumped into the air and burst into flame. It came crashing down on Action Figure, destroying him easily. “And don’t forget his effect!” Chazz warned!

“He has an effect?!” Jaden gasped, stupidly! The Flame Wingman sent a ball of fire at Jaden, making him take a bunch of damage! 800 damage, to be exact! What a big hit! “Ow! Damn you, my own monsteeeeeeer, yo!!”

 

Cthonian Soldier (which looked like some dumb guy in grey armor, nothing special) looked around for a moment. “Who, me?” he asked, in a dumb-guy voice.

“Go already!” urged Chazz. Finally, the idiot of the group came and cut Jaden with a really normal sword for normal damage. (Jaden: 2000 Life Points)

“Ow the sword!” Jaden cried!

“You may have felt like something at home, but in reality, you’re worse than an amateur~!” Chazz said mockingly. “One face-down will end my turn.” he said, ending his turn. Jaden cast his gaze downward and began shaking like crazy! “Aww.. What’s wrong? Wanna run home, cryin’ and suckin’ on mama’s milk?” Then Chazz got the picture. “Oh no… you’re doing the same stupid thing from yesterday!!” Jaden was laughing, of course. It’s a good thing he never does that again, since it’s just annoying.

“Th-this is too fun! I’m losing and I don’t even care, because my ‘Yu’ protects me! Wahahahaha!!” he laughed, bringing to mind the image of a dummy.

“BOO,” someone said.

"THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE, IDIOT!!" Chazz screeched.

“If Jaden didn’t have that ‘Yu’ in his name, he would have lost by now.” Alexis said, gravely. “Somehow, that makes sense when you say it,” Chazz realized, eyes shimmering with luv.

 

“Elemental Hero Sparkman! Let’s go!” Jaden said, ‘throwin’ down’ a card. A man flew out, a SUPER man!! The guy made a big fuss of flexing his muscles, the blue and gold armor he wore shining from the electricity around him. (Elemental Hero Sparkman: 1600 Attack Points) “Dude! Attack with Static Shockwave!” A large beam of electricity burst out of Elemental Hero Sparkman’s outstretched arm. The Cthonian Soldier comically turned to dust. (Chazz: 3600 Life Points) But his sword was left spinning in the air, somehow, even though he didn’t throw it or anything, and it flew towards Jaden for some reason, hitting him square in the tummy! “Ow, the hologram!!” he grunted! (Jaden: 1600 Life Points)

"Ha, you didn't even know his special ability? Ha ha, idiot," Chazz jeered.

“Grr, I set a card and end my turn.”

“Flamey… Wingy… Guy! Attack before I draw my card!” Chazz ordered, and Jaden activated a Trap card activated.

“Sorry, yo!”

“A trap! NOOOOO!!” Chazz exclaimed, as if he had never heard of one before. It had a kooky mirror picture on it.

 

“Right, it’s my Mirror Gate card,” Jaden nodded. “So our monsters swap sides because you attacked a Hero of mine. Then through confusing means, YOU take the damage!” The two monsters were covered in a golden beam and they teleported to the opposing sides, then they lunged at each other and grabbed each other, entering a grappler mode! They struggled against each other for but a moment, however. “All right, go Wingman!” Jaden supported, punching the air. Soon the plates of armor on Sparkman started to crack open and release electricity, making a bright blue light fill the room, and soon he shattered from the sheer manliness of the scene.

“NOOOOO, IT’S SUCH A CONFUSING CARD!!”Chazz screamed in pain. (Chazz: 3100 Life Points)

“Like I’ve said before, don’t forget Wingman’s’ super power,” Jaden said enthusiastically.

“IT’S CALLED AN EFFECT!!” Chazz screamed! The released electricity headed for Chazz and went through him, causing even MORE damage as he screamed again from the pain a hologram with no physical form caused.

“YEOWCH!!” (Chazz: 1500 Life Points)

 

“Oh no, now the electricity’s gonna hit us too, and eventually the building’s electrical system, and all the lights will flicker on and off, and everything will go ‘poof’, if you catch my dri-hi-hiiif!!” Syrus gasped!

“That made NO sense…"

"Well YOU try standing next to an attractive person, and see how YOU speak of doom!!"

"... Well anyways, nice move, Jaden!” Alexis cheered.

“More like lucky move,” Chazz grunted and he pulled out a Spell card from his hand. “I activate Cthonian Blast!” he continued. “Now, since my monster was destroyed, one of yours is destroyed as well! Say goodbye!” A small whirlpool OF DEATH!! formed underneath Wingman.

“Err... goodbye?” Jaden said, confused. Flame Wingman was sucked up by the pool in the blink of a really slow eye.

“And now, you take damage equal to half of its attack points!” Chazz finished as the whirlpool faded. Jaden let out an annoyed “Oh,” as he took his damage. (Jaden: 550 Life Points)

 

“Now, I activate Call of the Haunted!” Chazz shouted, pointing a finger at Jaden. His face-down card flipped up. “It lets me Special Summon one monster from my grave in attack mode!” His Cthonian Soldier came up from the ground with no special effects whatsoever, disappointingly. “And now I sacrifice him to special summon Mefist the Infernal General!” A soldier clad in black armor and holding a large trident-like trident appeared on his black horse, which had head armor, which didn’t look very helpful, but who knows. (Mefist: 1900 Attack Points)

“Not bad,” Jaden nodded.

“’Not bad’, heh-heh. Especially since this card will bring your doom! Hahaha!” Chazz laughed!

“Never! My ‘Yu’ will protect me!” Jaden defended! "That lady says so!"

"I'm a student," Alexis defended.

“OOH,” A fairy-like voice ‘OOH’-ed. He pulled out his card, which was a Winged Kuriboh.

“I hate you, fluffball. You just take up space in my deck!” He thought for a second. “Huh. Why don’t I just replace you, then…?” Jaden asked himself, drawing his card in a semi-dramatic manner.

 

Alexis and Syrus heard footsteps suddenly and turned to examine the entrance. “WHUZZ GOIN’ ON IN THAR?!” some man yelled from the hauntingly creepy corridors of the school.

“GUYS! Dustin the Old Copper Man’s comin’ this way! RUN FOR IT!” Alexis shouted.

“Why?” Jaden asked as the holograms disappeared.

“The law of Kaibaland Duel Academy states that no off-hour duels are allowed. Chazz knew that, and let me guess… he didn’t tell you?” she asked accusingly as Chazz blushed in defense.

“You didn’t tell us either, hypocrite.”

“Well, well, well. You lucked out this time,” Chazz grunted as he walked off, shaking his blushed expression off.

“You had him in the bag, huh Chazz huh?” Deep-Voice Dobbson said in a deep-voice.

“Yeah, you did. I reckon.” Billy Hills said in an irritating voice.

“YOUR VOICES INFURIATE ME!” Chazz screamed. “WHAT EVEN HAPPENED TO YOU GUYS DURING THE LAST FEW MINUTES OF THE DUEL?!”

“I dunno, I reckon. We just din’t talk, I reckon.”

“HEY! I was about to lose!” Jaden protested. “Take my Kuriboh, PLEASE!!” He started running after his foe who was further retreating into the darkness!! "I don't want hiiiiim!" Defeated, Jaden sulked and put the card back into his deck box.

 

“Jaden, we gotta get out of here or we’ll be locked up!” Syrus yelled, breaking into a sprint.

“Stoopid...” Jaden moaned as they teleported away for the second and last time ever. Two black-clad police officers and Dustin the Old Copper Man stepped into the arena, looking for people to lock up. But everyone had teleported away!

“But ah culdda SWORD dere were sum kidsn here,” Dustin sadly sighed.

“Wow, he IS a senile cop!” one of the men laughed.

 

“Thanks for showing us the teleport-tastic way,” Syrus panted as he dragged Jaden.

“Sorry you couldn’t finish your duel. And lose,” Alexis apologized.

“Neh. I knew I would win anyway.” Jaden said. “I was just trying to force my Winged Kuriboh on ‘dat foo’ there a second ago.”

“What? Because of your ‘Yu’?” asked Alexis

“No, because of this.” Jaden grinned as he pulled out a Monster Reborn. He had a vision where the shining card caused his Flame Wingman to fly out of his Graveyard zone. The Flame Wingman set himself on fire and dived straight for the general, and a mushroom cloud took up the entire Duel Dome from the sheer intensity of his last attack, because Jaden is apparently awesome. Chazz coughed pathetically as his Life Points shrunk to zero.

“Nooooo, I really suck and nobody likes me!” Chazz screamed.

 

“But Flame Wingman can’t be Special Summoned from the Graveyard, since the rules of the game say—” Alexis gasped, cut off suddenly by the cheating jerk.

“See ya!” Jaden called out, waving his hand as he headed for his dorm. Syrus chased after him shortly after.

“Jaden! You always leave me somewhere! Do you not like me or something?!”

“Could be!” This is gonna be one stupid-fying year… Alexis thought, watching the two idiots run off.

 

[Weather Report - Stand]

New chapter shall be up on Saturdays until I say so.

 

[spoiler=Episode 39: Sibling Rivalry][spoiler=Part One]“I’ve been looking forward to this show for a while,” Mann McOldsmobile giddily stated, turning on the TV.

“What is it, Mann?” Syrus asked, as the Slifer kids all crowded around the screen.

“It’s the first episode of the second season… of The Rei and Pen-Pen Show!!”

“That sounds sweet, yo!” Jaden cheered!

“Cuts cuts cuts! It might be dumb,” Cuts Man warned.

“QUIET,” Koala Ko Ala roared, “IT’S STARTING!!”

 

“AAAAAND IT’S TIME FOR THE REI AND PEN-PEN SHOW!!” an announcer screeched into his microphone, as we zoomed in to a blue-haired, red-eyed girl walking along the street with her pet penguin, who wore a cool tag-thing that said ‘PEN^2’ in mathematical terms. The music quickly ended.

“Wow, Pen-Pen, we’re having a really great time today, huh?” Rei asked, in a really soft voice.

“SQUAWK!!” Pen-Pen squawked. They happily trotted along the sidewalks until they saw a store window filled with TVs. They were all showing a commercial for the hot new item on the condiment market, EVA-01 Steak Sauce. And it sang the following jingle:

[spoiler=(as the following product flashed on-screen)]

 

EVA-01 Steak Sauce, yeah,

It’s the EVA-01 Steak Sauce, yeah,

It’s the EVA-01 Steak Sauce, yeah,

It’s the EVA-01 Steak Sauce, yeah…

EVA-01!

 

Then it cut to some other commercial, whilst flashing a picture of a bottle of ‘EVA-01 Steak Sauce.’ EVA-01 Steak Sauce, yeah… EVA-01! Rei thought. It’s so catchy…

“AWWWWWCK!!” Pen-Pen squawked.

“What is it, Pen-Pen?” Rei asked her penguin pal.

“AWK! AWK!” Pen-Pen handed Rei her calendar, which had an ad for ‘EVA-01 Steak Sauce’ on the cover. Rei flipped through it, until she saw the current day. She had written ‘Aida Kensuke, my best friend, is coming over today.’

“Oh yeah, I should go home and greet Kensuke when he gets there,” Rei decided, turning around and heading home. But wait, should I pick up some EVA-01 Steak Sauce? she wondered. No, I’ll do that later, so I don’t miss Kensuke. And so, Rei and Pen-Pen walked home.

 

A few minutes later, Rei walked through the door and sat down on her cozy, large leather couch with Pen-Pen. “Remember, Pen-Pen, this is the new couch that Dadda Gendo bought yesterday,” Rei cautioned, “so we can’t get it dirty with any food or condiments, alright?”

“AUUUUUWK!!” Pen-Pen agreed, saluting adorably. But at that, somebody knocked on the door! Rei opened it up, letting Kensuke inside!

“Hey, Rei,” he said.

“What?” Rei asked.

With a sheepish grin, Kensuke asked, “Guess what I found on the street?” He held up an unopened bottle of EVA-01 Steak Sauce!!

“Oh my gosh,” Rei gasped softly, “is that…?!”

“Yeah, it’s EVA-01 Steak Sauce, just like what’s on all the commercials!”

“WAAAAAUK!!” Pen-Pen excitedly screeched! And so, they began to sing.

 

“EVA-01 Steak Sauce, yeah,

It’s the EVA-01 Steak Sauce, yeah,

It’s the EVA-01 Steak Sauce, yeah,

It’s the EVA-01 Steak Sauce, yeah…

EVA-01!”

 

“I’ll go fix up something to eat with the EVA-01 Steak Sauce,” Rei said, rushing into the kitchen. Inside the food preparation area, Rei took out a large plate labeled ‘REIPLATE-1’ and put some veggie burgers on it, followed by a large notice saying ‘VEGGIE BURGERS!!.’ She took the plate onto the couch and invited Kensuke to sit on it with Pen-Pen. She plopped the burgers onto the couch, and then Kensuke uncapped the EVA-01 Steak Sauce.

“Ready?” he asked.

“Yep,” Rei answered. Kensuke covered the burgers in EVA-01 Steak Sauce as they began to sing the song again.

“EVA-01 Steak Sauce, yeah,

It’s the EVA-01 Steak Sauce, yeah,

It’s the EVA-01 Steak Sauce, yeah,

It’s the EVA-01 Steak Sauce, yeah…

EVA-01!”

 

By the time Kensuke finished covering the food, it was all completely slathered and swimming in EVA-01 Steak Sauce. The EVA-01 Steak Sauce was flowing freely all around the plate itself. The burgers were now only visible as small bumps in the sea of EVA-01 Steak Sauce. And yet, Rei and Kensuke stuck their hands into it and pulled out some burgers, sending out a few trace drops of EVA-01 Steak Sauce onto the clean sofa. They began dropping big piles of EVA-01 Steak Sauce all over Kensuke’s clean white shirt and Rei’s green school uniform, along with covering their mouths and cheeks.

“AWK?” Pen-Pen cautiously pecked one of the burgers and then walked away, disgustedly. The dirty pair kept digging into the EVA-01 Steak Sauce burgers, using the sofa as their napkin.

“DAMN, this EVA-01 Steak Sauce is good!” Rei shouted!

“Hey, want something to drink?” Kensuke asked.

“Sure.”

Kensuke pulled out a couple of glasses and poured EVA-01 Steak Sauce into them. And as he did, they sang!

 

“EVA-01 Steak Sauce, yeah,

It’s the EVA-01 Steak Sauce, yeah,

It’s the EVA-01 Steak Sauce, yeah,

It’s the EVA-01 Steak Sauce, yeah…

EVA-01!”

They lapped up their EVA-01 Steak Sauce and then wiped their mouths on their sleeves before looking straight at the TV audience, saying “Don’t YOU want some?” They held up the bottle together as the logo appeared on-screen.

 

“Why was this show green-lighted for a second season?” Syrus asked.

“Well don’t you like EVE-01 Steak Sauce?” Mann McOldsmobile asked, holding up his OWN bottle of EVE-01 Steak Sauce.

“Boy howdy, DO I!” Syrus chanted happily! He pulled out his own bottle.

“EVERYBODY’S doin’ it!” Gut Man promised! The rest of the cast pulled out their respective bottles of EVA-01 Steak Sauce and sang the song.

“EVA-01 Steak Sauce, yeah,

It’s the EVA-01 Steak Sauce, yeah

It’s the EVA-01 Steak Sauce, yeah,

It’s the EVA-01 Steak Sauce, yeah…

EVA-01!”

“Don’t YOU wish you had some?” Jaden asked you.

 

Yu-Gi-Oh! GX! The Fan Fic

Episode 39: Sibling Rivalry

Part One

 

“This is… this… is… THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE!!” Chazz shouted at random!

“Well, what’re ya’ talkin’ ‘bout, I reckon?” Billy Hills asked him, playing Duel Monsters with Deep-Voice Dobbson on the floor of their Slifer Red dorm room.

“I just can’t LIVE like this!!” Chazz sighed. “I’m an Obelisk! Why am I still here?! I get perfect grades, I duel better than 90% of people here, and I dress better, as well! What’s goin’ on here?!”

Deep-Voice Dobbson turned to Billy Hills. “Huh, Billy, huh, should we tell’m that you get your grades halved if you don’t wear the uniform?” he whispered.

“Nah, I reckon he should figure it out himself.”

“Chazz,” Ojama Yellow asked, “what’s wrong with here?”

“It smells bad. The food’s crap. There’s no air conditioning. It’s cramped in here. YOU live here. Shall I go on?”

 

But he couldn’t, because all of a sudden, Jaden, Syrus, Koala Ko Ala, Mann McOldsmobile, Cuts Man and Gut Man all rushed into his room! “YEAAAAAH!! PARTEH!!” They began running around and breaking stuff.

“WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!” Chazz screamed! “WHAT’RE YOU GUYS DOING?! ESPECIALLY YOU GUYS!!” The last part was directed toward Billy Hills and Deep-Voice Dobbson, who had taken Cuts Man’s knife stick and started smashing the lights.

“Oh, hey Chazz,” Gut Man greeted, stomping on the television. “Chancellor Shepherd sent us down here to tell you to ‘go see him, the fate of the world depends on it, also you guys can smash up his room’.”

“But WHY?!”

“I dunno, go ask him.”

“Fine, I get it, I get it.” Chazz stomped out the door. Then he poked his head back in and shouted “AND STOP DESTROYING MY ROOM!!” Everybody stopped, and Chazz left. Then they all picked up where they’d left off.

 

TWO! MINUTES!! LATER!!!

“Actually, I never told them to break your things,” Chancellor Shepherd admitted, “they probably just made that up themselves.”

“I’m going to literally kill them,” Chazz promised himself.

“No you aren’t!” Gut Man knew, jumping out from behind his back.

“YOU?! Why’d you follow me?”

“I dunno,” Gut Man shrugged.

“Ah, Gut Man, just the man I wanted to see!” Chancellor Shepherd beamed. “So, as I was about to tell you, Chazz, somebody’s trying to buy out Duel Academy!!”

“OH CRAP!!” Chazz cried! “What can I do about it? Aren’t kids supposed to rely on reliable adults?”

“Oh, there ARE none. But the worst part of all this is that they’re going to fire the entire faculty and turn this into… well, actually I don’t know,” Shepherd worried, scratching his head. “But we MUSTN’T let this happen!!”

“Or what? Those three cards we’re guarding will be stolen? You’ll need to find a new job?”

“No… I can’t let anybody find what I’m hiding in the cellar…” Shepherd moaned grimly. “But before I get into the grim details, I need to tell you what YOU have to do with all this, kids.”

 

Seto Kaiba was at a dimly-lit bar of some sort, smoking a large cigar and playing cards with someone. “Alright, I’m raising the ante,” Kaiba said, putting a large wad of cash on the table, finishing a large mug of beer.

“Well then I’m raising the stakes even HIGHER!!” his opponent chuckled, placing a piece of paper onto the table with a robotic claw.

“What’s with the paper?” Kaiba asked.

“Oh, just read it,” the mysterious man said. It read, ‘I.O.U. 1 Duel Academy’

“YOU’RE TRYING TO GET ME TO SELL OFF MY KAIBALAND DUEL ACADEMY?!” Kaiba shrieked, standing up suddenly! “What kind of idiot do you think I am?!”

“Look at the back.” Kaiba flipped the paper around. ‘One free dragon egg’ The man’s robotic claw held up a chicken egg that was painted green.

“See, if I lose, you get THIS baby!”

Woah, that thing’s probably worth TWO Duel Academies, Kaiba drunkenly perceived. Also, what if it’s… a BLUE-EYES WHITE DRAGON?! “Alright then, show me your cards!” Kaiba revealed a royal flush, all in the heart suit!

“Hm, I’ll see your royal flush… and give ‘ya FIVE ACES!!” The man showed off five Aces of hearts.

“OH NOOOOOOO!!” Kaiba screamed, emulating that ‘Home Alone’ kid, you know his name. “A-alright, I concede… but on one condition.”

“Just tell me.”

 

“And so, Kaiba then told the men, before stumbling drunkenly out of the bar and throwing up on a dog, that they would gain full ownership over Kaibaland Duel Academy if they could win a duel against one specifically-chosen student named Chazz using a deck of monsters with under 500 Attack Points,” Shepherd explained, depressingly.

“That’s gross!” Chazz grunted!

“That’s unfair!” Gut Man cried!

“I know!” Shepherd knew. “But them’s the rules, now meet your robot opponent!!” Shepherd motioned to a large flat-screen TV on his wall. It turned on, showing a robot in the form of a computer monitor on a stand, with wheels attached, and two primitive-looking pincers for arms/hands. And on the monitor… WAS SLADE AND ZAZZ, IN FRONT OF A BACKGROUND FULL OF EUCALYPTUS LEAVES!!

 

“How’s it going, lil’ bro?” Slade asked in that voice of his.

“WH-WH-WH-WH-WHAT THE HEEEEEEEEEEELL?!” Chazz gasped! “SLADE AND ZAZZ?!”

“Yeah, it’s us!” Zazz laughed! “Slade and Zazz Princeton, older brothers to Chazz Princeton! Muhuhahahaha—”

“HEY, YA DUM-DUMS!!” a manly man roared.

“W-woah, hey, boss! We’re just usin’ the computer on our break, is all!” Slade assured to somebody off-screen.

“Well, hurry it up! Whaddaya think I pay ‘ya for, to use all sixty minutes of your lunch hours?!”

“Like we get paid,” Zazz grumbled under his breath.

“WHAT WAS THAT?!” the man shouted at the top of his lungs!! “I GAVE YOU A JOB PICKIN’ EUCALYPTUS LEAVES, AND ALL YOUR MONEY GOES TOWARDS YOUR ROOM AND BOARD! NOW, I GAVE YOU A JOB, AND A HOME, ON THE MOON!! SO DON’T START FLAPPIN’ YOUR SUCKY LIL’ LIPS ABOUT HOW UNFAIR I AM!! YOU’RE LIVING THE AMERICAN DREAM, LIVING ON THE MOON!! MY GOSH!! Back when I first got here, I had to cut down all the trees to build this place BY MYSELF…”

“Whew, he’s gone,” Slade sighed, relieved.

“But what do YOU losers want?!” Chazz ordered!

“Wait, who’re they?” Gut Man asked, getting a bit uncomfortable.

“They’re just my loser older brothers, who want to take over the world and were using me against my own will to do such a thing. Also they were beaten up by the entire school and sent to the moon, where they now apparently work for Koala Ko Ala’s dad.”

“Oh.”

“Uh, hello here?” Zazz reminded.

“Oh yeah, you guys’re still there.”

“Hell YEAH we’re still here!” Slade shouted!

“HEY, SHADDAP, YOU’RE UPSETTIN’ THE KOALAS!!”

“Sorry sir!” Slade apologized, looking away from the screen again.

“You know, we might not have had to do this to you and your friends if you’d just single-handedly taken over the entire world of dueling like we agreed,” Zazz reminded.

“The same way you control finance and politics?”

“Well hey,” Zazz whined, “at least I have 30% of the world’s money!”

“So?”

 

“Eugh,” Slade groaned. “Look, we’re sending our robot to duel you in three days, with those cards we bought that you never used, which basically means we’re using a Dragon deck, and I bet that YOU already know YOUR restriction, right?”

“Urg…” Chazz grunted, scowling.

“So, uh, well… that’s it!” Slade and Zazz concluded! “See you in three days, Chazz! WAHAHAHAHAHA—”

“I SAID YOU’RE BOTHERIN’ THE KOALAS!! THEY CAN’T WORK WITH THIS KINDA STRESS!!”

“Sorry, boss…” And with that, the satellite feed cut off and the screen went blank.

 

“And that is the problem of the week,” Shepherd groaned. “We’re doomed… unless we follow up with ONE option…”

“What would THAT be?” Gut Man wondered.

“All we need is for YOU to stand next to Chazz as he duels.”

“Uh…”

“It’s easy,” Shepherd said, pulling out a chart.

[spoiler=The Plan]

 

“… Are you serious?” Chazz asked.

“Yes, yes I am,” Shepherd insisted.

“Your logic sucks.”

“I dare you to find any flaws with this plan.”

“Actually,” Gut Man said, “it COULD work, if we can score a miracle…”

“See, the robot boy agrees with me!” Shepherd chuckled! “I told you it’d work!”

“… Okay then, I guess that’s settled,” Chazz shrugged.

“Now all you need to do is gather up all your good weak cards and make a deck,” Shepherd said.

“…I don’t HAVE any cards like that. I sell them for 200% profit to little kids,” Chazz admitted.

“Oh… my… gosh…” Shepherd slumped onto his desk. “Do I have ANY students who AREN’T a complete failure?”

“Oh…well, may I put in a suggestion?” Professor Banner asked, stepping out from the shadows.

“Were you standing there all this time?”

“Yes, always. Now I have a story for all you punk kids!” Banner took out a wooden pipe and storybook. “According to urban myth, there’s a well on Duel Academy Island, where kids throw away cards that they don’t like. I don’t understand why nobody just burned them; it would be cooler that way, but I disgress.” He closed the book and walked away.

 

“Um… okay, so you two just do that tomorrow,” Shepherd commanded.

“Y-you trust me to go out into the dense forests of this island and comb it for a so-called mysterious well where we can find cheap cards for free?!” Gut Man gasped!

“Uh, yeeeaaaah,” Shepherd shrugged, “why not? I mean, you’re a student who apparently knows Chazz, so it’s fine.”

Wow, so they really actually trust me? Gut Man thought. These people are a lot nicer than I thought they were!

“So can I go now?” Chazz asked.

“Yeah sure whatever,” Shepherd said, making shooing movements with his hands. “Go on, I gotta start packing my things.” Gut Man and Chazz left the office.

“So do you really think you’ll find that place?” Gut Man asked Chazz.

“Well, judging by how things go ‘round here, sure, why not?”

“But what if it doesn’t work?”

“Eh, then I guess I’ll just buy some cards and use those,” Chazz decided.

“Then… why don’t we just do that if it’ll save time?”

“Because we’re going for FREE CARDS, man! Do you know how often that happens, finding a Duel Monsters card on the street without something nasty drawn on it, or having been ripped in half?!” Chazz asked, drawing upon all those instances when you’d seen such things. “Now get yourself ready for a hiking trip, we’ve got some freebies to snag!”

 

THE! NEXT!! DAY!!!

Chazz was hiking with Gut Man, through the woods, carrying backpacks full of survival goods. “Huh, this is a great hike, huh, Chazz?” Deep-Voice Dobbson asked, inhaling all that mountain air.

“You said it, I reckon!” Billy Hills chuckled, throwing some trail mix at Chazz and Deep-Voice Dobbson!

“Cuts cuts cuts, what’s with the trail mix?” Cuts Man asked, cutting in between them.

“Oh, it’s in the bags I prepared for everybody,” Gut Man explained to him.

“Thanks! Heh heh.” Cuts Man pulled out a bag of trail mix. He ripped it open, sending all of its contents all over the place. “Whoops.”

“Cuts Man, why’d you just waste all that great trail mix?” Mann McOldsmobile complained. “That’s almost as horrible as this!” He opened up a water bottle and splashed some of its contents over Cuts Man’s face.

“Heh heh, heh heh,” Cuts Man laughed, twitching and shooting out sparks from his mouth and eyes. “Cuts cuts cuts! What else’s in here?”

“Oh, there’s some water, some rope, some rescue flares, and an inflatable raft, I reckon,” Billy Hills listed out, inspecting his own stash.

“HA HA! HA HA!!” Cuts Man cackled, firing his several rescue flares in all directions, causing several forest fires!

“WOAH!! Let ME try that!!” Mann McOldsmobile laughed, taking out his own survival tools!

“SHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT UP!! YOUR VOICES ARE INFYURIATING ME!!” Chazz screamed, putting a stop to everything. “Heh, heh, heh, heh,” he panted, “Who told, heh, YOU guys to, heh, follow us?”

“Oh, well,” Gut Man began, rubbing his head, “when I told everybody that we were going here, then Mann McOldsmobile and Cuts Man wanted to come with me. Then Billy Hills and Deep-Voice Dobbson wanted to follow YOU, and Deep-Voice Dobbson took Ojama Yellow.”

“THAT’S ME!!” cheered Ojama Yellow, floating in from nowhere.

“Um, alright, but why’d you take Ojama Yellow?”

“Ojama Yellow’s great, huh, Chazz, huh!” Deep-Voice Dobbson said.

“Yeah, Ojama Yellow’s great!” Ojama Yellow said, driving the point home further. “Oh hey a well.” He pointed to a large hole in the ground.

“OH MY GOSH, YOU’RE RIGHT FOR ONCE!!” Chazz ran to it, took out his handy rope ladder, and climbed down into the well! Several crappy cards were lining the stony floor. “Oh boy! They’re… they’re… crappy.”

“’Ey, who ya’ callin’ crappy?” asked a short, purple guy with a large nose.

“Yeah, see, ‘dat’s no way ta’ jus’ BARGE in on someone!” yelled a one-eyed green guy. They both wore speedos.

“Wait… are you Ojama Green and Ojama Black?” Chazz asked.

“Yeah,” the green guy responded, “what about it?”

“So this means… I’ve just collected the entire Ojama Trio?!” Suddenly a glowing bluish-whitish tiger Duel Spirit appeared and ate the two brothers in one bite. “… Oh.”

“Hey, Chazz, didja just say you found THE OJAMA TRIO?!” Ojama Yellow screamed, flyin’ down into the hole! “This means I can find my brothers?!”

“Uh, no, I just found some cards WITHOUT Duel Spirits in ‘em, eheheh,” Chazz shivered. It’s better to hide this truth, right? “Anyways, guys, get your butts down here and help me pick up some cards! The fate of the free world of card games is at stake here! And then we’re going home.”

“Whaaaaat?! But why’d we even come, then?!” Mann McOldsmobile whined.

“Nobody TOLD you to come!”

 

AND TWO! DAYS!! LATAH!!!

 

Chazz, Guts Man, and the robot that his brothers were piloting were all standing around in the middle of the Duel Dome, ready to duel, as hundreds of baggage-carrying students watched on. “EVEREBODEH LISSEN,” announced Mickey Ducktail, wearing an ‘EVA-01 Steak Sauce’ backpack, “HERE WE AH, WATCHIN’ OUR VEREH OWN CHAZZ DUELIN’ HIS JERK BROTHERS FOR THE FATE ‘O DA SCHOOL!!” Two dozen people clapped.

“YOU GO, CHAZZ!!” Jaden shouted.

“SHADDAP, YOUR VOICE’S IRRITATIN’ ME!!”

“Oh.”

 

“Man, I sure hope he wins that duel,” one kid groaned, “I don’t wanna go to NORMAL High School…”

“Well maybe we can actually do something productive then,” a girl responded.

“Maybe I could re-connect with my dad,” a guy wistfully supposed.

“Card games ain’t so fun, anyhow!”

“YEAH!!”

“But I like not having to work for my money,” a kid cried, “We can get PAID for playing games all the time in the pro circuit!” Many individuals heard.

“But if EVERYBODY in the world plays card games for a living, then who’ll do the REAL jobs out there, like food processing?!” Beehive Larry cried out, upon deaf ears.

“GO, CHAZZ!!” the ignorant masses cheered! “FIGHT!! WIIIIIIIIN!! WE BELIIIIIIIEEEEEEVE~”

 

“Meh,” the computer robot sighed, showing both of the Princeton brothers doing stuff on their lunch hour, “we could care less about the kids out here, and you’re already packed up to leave; let’s make it quick and easy.” The robot strapped on a Duel Disk.

“Pfft, you think I can’t beat you?” Chazz chuckled. “Since you have two players with you, would you mind if I have my robot buddy step in next to me and give me tips?”

“Eh sure why not,” the bros shrugged collectively.

“You’re up,” Chazz said, pulling Gut Man next to him.

“Woah!” Gut Man said, being pulled up next to him.

“AND GUT MAN TAKES THE STAAAAAAAAAAAAGE!!” Mickey Ducktail announced!

“WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!” the kids cheered.

S-so is this what it feels like to be cheered upon by millions?! Gut Man asked himself, pleased. Well, actually hundreds… but I get the picture.

“AN’ SO, EVEREBODEH,” Mickey Ducktail asked, “READEH TA START DA DUEL?!”

“Yep,” Slade and Zazz said unanimously.

“Sure, why not?” Chazz shrugged, confidently.

“Don’t worry Chazz,” Ojama Yellow supported floating up next to him, “I know we can do it! Have faith in yourself. Have faith… have faith… have faith… HAVEFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA—” Ojama Yellow was punched in the mouth and fell.

“DUEL, STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAAAAAAAAAAHT!!” Mickey Ducktail commanded. (Chazz n’ Gut: 4000 Life Points, Zazz n’ Slade: 4000 Life Points)

 

TO BE CONTINUED…

 

[spoiler=Part Two]Yu-Gi-Oh! GX! The Fan Fic

Episode 39: Sibling Rivalry

Part Two

 

“MY TURN!!” Chazz shouted, kicking off the duel, and drawing his cards.

“Alright, I’ll just draw then…” The Slade/Zazz controlled robot drew its opening hand.

“Hmmm…. ROBOSENSE!!” Gut Man shouted, activating his robosense… whatever that was.

“AAAAAAND GUT MAN USES ROBOSEEEEEEEEEEENSE!!” Mickey Ducktail announced!

“What the hell’s robosense?” Chazz asked.

“It allows me to pick up satellite waves and decode them,” Gut Man explained, whispering, as his eyes glowed golden.

“How does that help here?”

“Oh, well that computer robot’s sending a signal up into space, where it’s picked up by your brothers and they can see it on their computer.”

“That’s…” Chazz turned around and saw Chancellor Shepherd sitting in the audience. He mouthed ‘told ‘ya so’. “Actually, that’s useful here! What’d they draw?”

“…” Gut Man thought for a second. “I don’t know, since there’s only a picture and some numbers on the cards…”

“Then what was the point?”

“Well, he has a swirly green card!”

Wait, Polymerization? Chazz realized. I need to start off with a good defense, since he’s gonna fuse and attack… well what the heck, I was gonna lay down some defense already! I didn’t need to know that, it’s just extra stress!! Some use YOU were, Gut Man… “I summon Soul Tiger in Defense Mode!” Chazz shouted, throwin’ down a tiger made completely out of blue fog in the most badass way possible. (Soul Tiger: 2100 Defense Points)

“OH BOOOOOOOOOOY!!” Mickey Ducktail said. “CHAZZ HAS JUST SUMMONED A SOUL TIGER IN DEFENSE MODE!! IT HAS NO ABILITY, AND NO ATTACK POINTS, BUT TWENTY-ONE HUNDRED DEFENSE POINTS! THAT’S A LOTTA DEFENSE!! WHAT WILL THEY DOOOO?!”

 

“We’ll do a Fusion Summon, THAT’S what!” Zazz said, as the robot used its Polymerization! “I’ll fuse the Lord of D. in my hand with Divine Dragon Ragnarok!” A guy in cool dragony armor appeared next to a dragon made out of pink cloudy energy. The man climbed into the dragon’s mouth down to the waist, thus becoming a new monster altogether… “We summon King Dragun!!” (King Dragun: 2400 Attack Points)

“AAAAAAAAAND THEY SUMMON KING DRAGUN, FUSED TOGETHER OUT OF LORD OF D. AND DIVINE DRAGON RAGNAROK!!” Mickey Ducktail said. “IT HAS TWENTY-FOUR HUNDRED ATTACK POINTS AND ELEVEN HUNDRED DEFENSE POINTS!! HE ALSO STOPS ANY DRAGONS FROM BEING KILLED BY ANY SORT OF EFFECTS, AND HE ALLOWS THE USER TO SPECIAL SUMMON ANY DRAGON FROM THEIR HAND DURING THEIR TURN, ONCE PER TURN, WITHOUT PENALTY!! WHAT WILL CHAZZ DO?!”

“Uh, thanks for explaining all that, I guess,” Slade thanked, “and so like he said I’ll be Special Summoning Luster Dragon #2 from my hand!”

“Our hand,” Zazz verified. And so, with the power of brotherly bonds, they threw down a massive green dragon, who was growing emeralds from its own wrinkly skin! (Luster Dragon #2: 2400 Attack Points)

“OH-OH-OH NOOOOOO!!” Gut Man screamed, scared for his life… as a student at Duel Academy.

“OOOOOOOOH!!” Mickey Ducktail shrieked! “AND SO THEY SUMMON AN EFFECT-LESS, SIX-STAR MONSTER, LUSTER DRAGON NUMBAH TWO!! IT HAS TWENTY-FOUR HUNDRED ATTACK POINTS AND ELEVEN-HUNDRED DEFENSE POINTS!! WHAT WILL CHAZZ DOOO?!”

“You’re getting pretty annoying,” Slade called.

“I KNOW, BUT IT’S MAH JOB!!”

“Attack Soul Tiger, King Dragun!!” Zazz ordered! “Use Fire Scorch!” The dragon man combo took out a golden dragony flute and held it out, dragon-head first, and released a large column of flames at Soul Tiger, engulfing it instantly!

“Next,” Slade dictated, “Luster Dragon, attack with Emerald Flame Attack!!” The second Luster Dragon took a deep breath and spat out a continuous unoriginal flame attack, which was filled with research errors; the flames were not emerald, nor were they emerald-like, but just orange and boring.

“YEEEOWCH!!” Chazz grunted! (Chazz n’ Gut: 1600 Life Points)

“OOOOOOOOH!! AND SO THE ZAZZ AND THE SLADE HAVE DESTROYED CHAZZ’S AND GUT MAN’S SOUL TIGER, ALLOWING THEM TO WAGE A DIRECT ATTACK WITH LUSTER DRAGON NUMBER TWO, DROPPING THEIR LIFE POINTS BY TWENTY-FOUR HUNDRED POINTS, LEAVING THEM WITH ONLEH SIXTEEN HUNDRED LIFE POINST LEFT!!” Mickey Ducktail exclaimed! “WHAT WILL THEY DO?!”

“SHUT IT!!” Chazz shouted, annoyed.

 

“So bro,” Slade said, “we COULD have summoned another dragon monster during our turn today, since we had our Normal Summon left. If you give up now, then we can spare you the humiliation of losing next turn. And we wouldn’t wanna make our lil’ brother feel any worse than he does now, do we?”

“Hell yeah we do,” Zazz disagreed.

“And that’s why you should give in now! You’ve only lasted this long because of our own love for you! So you can come up with us and work on the Koala Juice farm until we get shuttle fare back to earth.”

“Didn’t you guys say you had 30% of the world’s money?” Gut Man asked.

“Yeah, but they don’t accept earth money on the moon. So what’ll it be, Chazz?”

 

“Wow, he’d not give up a losing duel for US?!” a flabbergasted kid gasped.

“So shut your mouths and end your damn turn already!” Chazz ordered!

“YEAH YEAH GO CHAZZ-GUT TEAM STYLE!!” Cuts Man cheered!

“Ugh, fine,” Zazz groaned, “Do whatever you want, you’re just holding off the inevitable.”

“What’s inevitable is US KICKIN’ YOUR COLLECTIVE ASS!!” Chazz drew a card, and then set it. “I summon one monster in Face-Down Defense Position, and I’ll call that a turn.”

“AND HE SETS A MONSTAAAAAAAAAAAH!!” Mickey Ducktail monologued. “WHAT COULD IT BE?! WHAT KIND OF STRATEGY IS CHAZZ A-PULLIN’ OFF HERE?! WHAT WILL ZAZZ AND SLADE DO?!”

“Seriously, we’ll pay you, like, two-hundred dollars if you stop that!” Zazz and Slade promised.

“No deal!”

“Damn.”

 

Slade and Zazz’s robot drew their next card. “Well? Are we safe for this turn?” Chazz asked. “Does he have any threatening Spells or Traps?”

“Nah, you’re good this turn,” Gut Man said with his shiny yellow eyes, “I think.”

“Eh?!” Slade and Zazz gasped! “What’re you guys TALKING about—”

“I THOUGHT I TOLD YA TWO DUM-DUMS THREE DAYS AGO ‘TA STOP RAISIN’ YER’ VOICES!! IT MAKES THE KOALAS FEEL WEIRD!!” their boss roared off-screen.

“O-oh, sorry, boss,” Slade apologized nervously.

“Who’re they talkin’ to?” Koala Ko Ala foolishly asked.

“… I’d say something, but I think you need to learn something from this experience,” Syrus sy-ed.

“Hunh?!”

 

“B-but anyways,” Zazz went on, getting back to the point, “what’re you two talking about, if you’re safe this turn?”

“Just guessing, that’s all,” Chazz lied.

“DANG LYIN’ MAKES YA TWO SO MUCH COOLER I RECKON!!” Billy Hills screamed from the sidelines!

“QUIET, HUH, BILLY, HUH!!” Deep-Voice Dobbson screamed, covering his friend’s mouth!

Hmm, Slade and Zazz thought, Chazz’s friends just mentioned something about him lying, buuut… I’ll give’m the benefit of the doubt. “We’ll be summoning Luster Dragon #1 in Attack Mode!” A blue dragon with some sapphires injected into its scaly flesh appeared, though smaller than the Luster Dragon #2. (Luster Dragon #1: 1900 Attack Points)

“OH BOY, IT’S THE LUSTER DRAGON NUMBAH ONE!!” Mickey Ducktail shouted! “IT’S GOT NINETEEN-HUNDRED ATTACK POINTS N’ SIXTEEN HUNDRED DEFENSE POINTS, THOUGH LIKE THE NUMBAH TWO VERSION, ‘E’S GOT NO ABILITY!! WHAT WILL CHAZZ DO?!”

“Uh, we aren’t even done summoning things yet, don’t start with that ‘what’ll he do now’ stuff until we’re done!” Zazz said sternly.

 

“So we’re summoning Rare Metal Dragon with the ability of King Dragun!!” And so the computer drew out a brutish, ebony dragon covered in metallic spines. (Rare Metal Dragon: 2400 Attack Points)

“MAH GOOD GOLLEH GOSH!!” Mickey Ducktail screeched! “THAT RARE METAL DRAGON OF THEIRS SURE PACKS A PAWNCH WITH ITS TWENTY-FOUR HUNDRED ATTACK POINTS AND TWELVE-HUNDRED DEFENSE POINTS, AND IT WAS A BRIGHT MOVE TA’ SUMMON ‘IM WITH KING DRAGUN’S EFFECT, SINCE IT’S NOT ALLOWED TO BE NORMAL SUMMONED OR SET!! WHAT WILL SLADE AND ZAZZ DO NOW?!”

“Attack, that’s what!” Slade announced! “Luster Dragon, attack that face-down monster!” Both the green one and the blue one both breathed fire at the monster. “Oh, well I meant just the blue one, but that’s fine too.” The card flipped itself up, revealing itself… no, HERself… as a red-haired girl in a plain blue dress with a frowny face.

“Aw,” she sniffed. Then she was burnt away. Her sacrifice made all the other Dragon monsters feel sad and piteous.

“”Ey ‘ey ‘ey, what’s goin’ on here?” Zazz growled.

“I HAVEN’T SEEN ‘DAT LADEH IN A WHILE, I TELLS YE WHAT!!” Mickey Ducktail remembered. “THAT’S TEH UNHAPPY MAIDEN, AN’ WHEN SHE’S DESTROYED, SHE ENDS THE BATTLE PHASE N’ STUFF! WHAT WILL YOU—”

“We end our turn,” Slade and Zazz announced.

 

“HEY, WHAT’S IN HIS HAND NOW, GUT MAN?!” Shepherd screamed, needing to know.

“SHEPHERD!!” Chazz shouted in retaliation.

Hm? Slade and Zazz thought. Did that Chancellor with the bald head just ask them what was in our hand, as if they knew? Maybe, buuut… I’ll give’m the benefit of the doubt.

“I’ll summon Spirit of the Breeze in Defense Mode!” Chazz said, summoning a green girl with butterfly wings and a dress. (Spirit of the Breeze: 1800 Defense Points) “Then I’ll activate the Spell card, The Dark Door!” A Spell card appeared, showing a demon guy about to enter a doorway that was obliterating everybody behind him, even the mummy. “Now you can only attack with one monster per turn!”

“WHAT A GREAT COMBO CHAZZ HAS SET UP NOW!! THE SPIRIT OF THE BREEZE CAN GET’M 1000 LIFE POINTS WHEN SHE’S IN ATTACK MODE, BUT THAT’S A BAD IDEA, SINCE SHE’S GOT ZERO ATTACK POINTS, THOUGH SHE’S GOT A WHOPPIN’ EIGHTEEN-HUNDRED DEFENSE POINTS!! AND THE DARK DOOR IS A SPELL THAT STAYS ON THE FIELD UNTIL ITS DEHSTRUCTSHUN ‘DAT LETS HIS BROTHERS ONLY ATTACK ONCE PER TURN!! WHAT WILL THEY DO?!”

“Really, stop that!”

“EVREHBODEH LISSEN!! NO.”

“That guy’s givin’ me the creeps,” Gut Man said, shaking.

“He does that to everybody, Gut, everybody,” Chazz said, truthfully, “but you have to admit he’s a great announcer.”

“Darn tootin’!” Nancy Wut agreed from afar.

 

“Anyways, go already, you two,” Chazz spat.

“Well then, maybe we will!” Slade sneered back.

“REMEMBAR FOLKS,” Mickey Ducktail reminded the audience, “SLADE N’ ZAZZ HAVE GOT ‘DA KING DRAGUN, LUSTER DRAGONS ONE AND TWO, AND A RARE METAL DRAGON ON DA FIELD, BUT IF DEY CAN’T DESTROY DA DARK DOOR, THEY CAN’T ATTACK CHAZZ DIRECTLY!! WHAT WILL THEY DO?!?!”

“It’s just a matter of time before we’re bustin’ that door down, y’know!” Slade informed.

“AAAAAAAAAAAND THAT WAS A BAAAAD PUN!!” Mickey Ducktail analyzed. The audience giggled.

“Hey, don’t make fun of us for making a great joke!” Zazz screamed! “King Dragun, attack with Fire Scorch!” King Dragun held out his golden flute and burned the Spirit of the Breeze away.

“My turn!” Chazz said, drawing a card. “I’ll summon Catnipped Kitty in Defense Mode.” A purple, happy cat covered in swirly marks appeared, with a massive bell attached to its neck. (Catnipped Kitty: 500 Defense Points)

“You summoned a kitty? Is that HONESTLY the best you can do?” Slade chuckled.

“Like you can do better?” Chazz answered.

“Actually they can’t, they don’t have anything but monsters in their hand!” Gut Man said, knowing through strategy!! And his robosense.

“Oh really? You two don’t know ANYTHING about Duel Monsters, DO you?! What kind of IDIOT would just put all monsters in their deck?”

“Y-you be quiet, Chazz! We have, like, three Spells!!” More importantly, Zazz and Slade thought, That weird rip-off robot somehow knew the contents of our hand! That would mean he can see our hand, maybe, buuut… I’ll give’m the benefit of the doubt. Then their robot drew a new card with its cool robotic claw. Wait, this card… I KNEW it was a great idea to throw this one in! With this Trap, we shall WIN THE DUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLL!!

 

“Hey, Chazz,” Gut Man said, worried, “they just drew a purple card with some twisters on it. What’s that mean?”

“Do you even know how to play this game?” asked Chazz.

“I-I was just in this school for the benefits!”

Wait a sec, Zazz and Slade thought, The robot just detailed the card we just drew! That would mean he really CAN see our hand, or he’s a really great guesser! Buuut… I’ll give’m the benefit of the doubt. “We’ll set one card face-down and destroy your kitty!” Slade said, as their robot placed their card down. “Fire Scorcher!” King Dragun did the same thing as always and burned the kitty away.

“AND WHAT A TURN ‘A EVENTS, PEOPLE!!” Mickey Ducktail screamed! “THE PRINCETONNES HAVE JUST SET DOWN’A CAAAAAARD AND DESTROOOOOOOOOYED THE KIIIIIIIIIIITTTTEEEEEEHH!! WHAT WILL CHAZZ DOOOOOO?!”

 

Chazz turned to Gut Man. “It’s now or never, we’ve gotta draw that one card we really really need here,” Chazz said.

“Do-don’t w-w-w-worry, Chazz,” Gut Man consoled, as his knees knocked loudly.

“YOU’RE the one who’s worrying. Now come on, it’ll be even more intense if we draw the card together.”

He’s really trying to include me in a form of duel participation together?! In order to strengthen our friendly bonds?!

“Yeah, why don’cha?” Mann McOldsmobile asked from within the audience.

“Gut Man! Gut Man!” Cuts Man chanted!

“GUT MAN! GUT MAN! GUT MAN!” The entire stadium was ripe with applause!

“But if they lose it’ll feel really crappy,” one guy said. He was punched out.

“I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT, HUH, GUT, HUH!!”

“I’LL HAVE YOUR CHILDREN!”

“No you won’t.”

“YES I WILL!!”

 

Everybody’s cheering me on… yes… YES!! I must do the right thing in this situation and DRAW THAT CARD!! Gut Man and Chazz rested their hands on their next card. Consumed by the valiant flames of justice, they pulled it from the Duel Disk. “DOH-RAW!!”

“I HOPE YOU DREW SOMETHING GOOD, BECAUSE WE USE DUST TORNADO!!” The Princeton robot flipped up a Trap card, featuring all sorts of dust-filled tornados! A whirlwind of dust appeared out of nowhere and swooped into The Dark Door, blowing the card hologram away!

“OH NO!! THEY JUST ACTIVATED DUST TORNADO, A TRAP THAT—”

“We activate Painful Choice!” Gut Man and Chazz said together, holding out a Spell card filled with sad people agonizing over something possibly minor. “We pick up five cards from our deck and then you choose one of them to be added into our hand.” They took out and showed them four monsters and a Spell.

“Well that’s obvious; we’re not giving you a POSSIBLY GOOD monster! Take the Spell,” Slade offered, as their foes discarded the other cards.

“WUH-OH, SLADE N’ ZAZZ JUST MADE CHAZZ N’ GUT MAN DISCARD—”

“Next we play Enchanting Fitting Room!” Some sort of haunted fitting room appeared on the field.” (Chazz N’ Gut: 800 Life Points) “At a cost of 800 Life Points, we can pick up and summon any of the top four cards on our deck, if they’re monsters with three or lower levels and no abilities!”

“YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAH!!” the crowd cheered! “DRAW!!” They drew Pot of Greed. “DRAW!!” They drew Ojama Yellow. (Ojama Yellow: 0 Attack Points) “DRAW!!” They drew Ojama Green. (Ojama Green: 0 Attack Points) “DRAW!!” They drew Ojama Black. (Ojama Black: 0 Attack Points)

“Oh yeah baby, we’re BACK!” Ojama Yellow screamed!

 

“Th-the three Ojama brothers,” one guy trembled, drenched in sweat! “Could this possibly signify… does this mean they’re about to use…”

“EVEREHBODEH LISSEN!! THE THREE OJAMA BROTHERS’VE JUST MADE THEIR APPEARANCE!! IT’D BE GREAT IF CHAZZ N’ GUT COULD USE THEIR OJAMA DELTA HURRICANE CARD—”

“We activate Ojama Delta Hurricane!” Chazz and Gut Man announced! They threw away a Spell card and Ojama Yellow gave a thumbs-up.

“Let’s go, bros!” he said! They all began swirling around together into a large ring of Ojama madness, flying around all those monsters Zazz and Slade had spent the entire game summoning!

“Do you know what these three cards taught me, guys?” Chazz asked. “It’s that good brothers, REAL brothers support each other, not abuse them for their own disgusting ends! From this point forward, I’m casting off the Princeton name!” The Ojama ring started sending out electrical shocks that began harming the dragon monsters!

“GWAAAR!!”

“UWAAAAAAAAR!!”

“WOBWOBWOBWOBWOB.”

“AW YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH, I RECKON HUH!!” the students yelled! The dragons all exploded into confetti and the Ojamas re-appeared on Chazz and Gut Man’s field, taking a bow.

“Hee hee!”

 

“What the HELL just happened?!” Zazz asked, confused.

“OJAMA DELTA HURRICANE: UPON USAGE, IF YOU HAVE ALL ‘DA THREE OJAMAS ON YOUR FIELD, YOUR OPPONENT LOSES ALL THEIR MONSTERS! DAMN, I’M A GREAT ANNOUNCER!!”

“And I’ll use the Spell card Thunder Crash!” Gut Man said, activating the card that Zazz and Slade had so graciously given them earlier, detailing some poor sap getting struck by lightning. “We can sacrifice as many monsters as we like and deal 300damage to you for each one!”

“… Oh crap,” Ojama Yellow dreaded, as the three useless monster brothers exploded, sending three bolts of lightning at the evil bros. computer robot! (Zazz n’ Slade: 3100 Life Points)

 

“Heh, just because you dealt some damage to us doesn’t mean we can’t still rip you apart with all the other monsters in our deck!” Zazz and Slade promised!

“Shut up!” Chazz sneered. “I summon Chaos Necromancer!” A creepy puppetmasterish guy in foreboding armor appeared with a weird smile. All at once, he was surrounded by a massive green flare of energy! (Chaos Necromancer: 3300 Attack Points)

“Cheheheh,” Mickey Ducktail laughed, “I BELIEVE THAT CHAZZ AND GUT MAN HAVE JUST WON DA DUEL!!”

“Care to explain why?” Chazz suggested.

“H-how did you summon a monster like that?!” Slade cowered. “That has GOT to be cheating… right?”

“THE CHAOS NECROMANSSAH GAINS THREE-HUNDRED ATTACK POINTS FOR EVERY MONSTER IN CHAZZ AND GUT MAN’S GRAVEYARD!

“And with this card, I cordially cast off the name you have so graciously thrust upon me in my younger days!” Chazz boasted!

 

“SMASH THEEEEEEEEEEEEEM!!” roared the entire student body of Duel Academy. The Chaos Necromancer held out one finger, pointed at the Princetons, and tweaked it. The robot was destroyed in the ensuing fiery explosion. (Slade N’ Zazz: -200 Life Points, Game Over)

 

“RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!” the kids cheered, for their school establishment was safe! Some of you’d feel like that too, if your school had Kindergarten-level assignments.

“And THAT is why you don’t f*** with me and my school, you hear me?!” Chazz leered.

“Hey Chazz,” Crowler asked, “what’d I miss? I just woke up.”

“Oh, I just changed my last name again.”

“Are you a Crowler now?”

“No, I’m Chazz Chazz now. Chazz Crowler just sounds horrible.”

“Oh.” And as Crowler moped, Chazz and Gut Man joined their hands together and turned toward the applauding masses, as they tossed their luggage around in the air like hats, inevitably causing some injuries.

“It’s moments like this that make bein’ an announcer special,” Mickey Ducktail sniffed, wiping away a single tear.

 

Meanwhile in Kaiba’s office…

“Hey big brother,” Kaiba’s little brother said, armed with six feet of tallness and thirty pounds of muscles, “I heard that the Chazz boy won that duel for Duel Academy.”

“What? Who… who the hell’re you?” Kaiba drunkenly asked from his desk.

“It’s me, Mokuba, remember? I wish you didn’t drink so much.”

“I run a major corporation. It basically came with the job. But my goodness, when’d you get so big n’ muscley? You were almost to my chest height yesterday!”

“I’ve been like this for a few months now, you should know this already! It came with the puberty!”

“Damn, took ‘ya long enough. Now what’s Duel Academy again?” Kaiba asked.

“…” Mokuba backed out of his office, somewhat peeved.

 

Meanwhile, on the moon…

Zazz and Slade were climbing around in a eucalyptus tree with some koalas, picking off eucalyptus leaves and storing them in a sack. “… Next time, let’s not give them any mercy.”

“Agreed.”

“’EY, ‘YA TWO SLACKERS!! LESS CONVERSATIN’, MORE LEAF PICKIN’!!”

“Yes, sir…” they grumbled, picking faster than ever before.

 

 

 

[Weather Report - Stand]

Episode finished.

[Weather Report - Stand]

I think it's about time I bump before I get pushed onto the next page. Also, I WOULD say that I have over 9000 views in a grandiose manner, but I'll wait until I get 10,000 views before that happens.

[Weather Report - Stand]

I'm so sorry guys, I can't keep to my schedules.

 

[spoiler=Episode 40: Duel Distractions: Part One]Bastion, Piggybank, Baseball Bob and Fluffy Fred were standing on top of a cliff, facing the sun as it rose one morn. “Now, fellow Baseball Wreckers,” Bastion spoke, “ever since that one duel against that Camula, of the Seven Stars,”

“Shadow Riders!” Nancy Wut reminded.

“Shadow Riders, I’ve been thinking. And it’s occurred to me that I need to be more overall useful in some combat situations, as I’m hampered by my prosthetic hand.”

“Oh yeah, you were pushed two inches into the ground,” Piggybank giggled.

“Well you were thrown into a lake,” Baseball Bob remembered.

“What’re you getting at? And you weren’t even there! How could YOU know?”

“I’m not getting at anything!” Baseball Bob promised! “Honest!”

“LIAR!!” Piggybank threw three pennies at Baseball Bob. They dug into his skin a bit before falling.

“YES, MONEH!!” Fluffy Fred shrieked, diving onto the coins. “Aw damn it, it’s just American money. So what’d you do, Bastion? I’m anxious to know!”

 

Bastion turned and faced his crew and held his right hand up. Attached to it by the wrist was an Omega-Xis head. “Hey,” Omega-Xis greeted.

“WHAT THE HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECK?!” Baseball Bob and Piggybank screamed!

“IT’S EXTREME!!” Fluffy Fred exclaimed, as his head exploded from the awesomeness.

“He shoots out Omega-Xis™ energy bullets!” Bastion informed!

“When I feel like it,” Omega-Xis mentioned.

“Isn’t that incredible?”

“… I have no choice,” Piggybank sighed, “I have to support you in all your endeavors.” She shakily held up a thumb.

“I don’t get it,” Baseball Bob worried.

“What’s there to get? He’s a prosthetic hand! He’s also an arm cannon. That’s all there is to it. Oh, and he’s got one rad attitude!”

“I totally approve,” Fluffy Fred approved, crying manly tears. Then he was struck by inspiration! “I’VE GOTTA CUT OFF MY LEG AND REPLACE IT WITH A ROBOT PEG LEG!!” He dashed off into the forest.

“Piggybank, Bob, please stop Fred from severing his own leg and replacing it with a talking robot,” Bastion requested.

“Got it.” The two dashed off after Fluffy Fred.

“FRED I’M GONNA KILL YOU IF YOU CUT OFF THAT LEG!!”

 

“Hmph,” Omega-Xis huffed, “so what’re we doin’ out here at this time?”

“Well, I was hoping to practice using a Duel Disk with you,” Bastion offered.

“If we’re gonna be playing card games for the sake of the world, I guess we’d better practice.” Bastion strapped on his Duel Disk and drew five cards with his new wolf robot hand’s jaw! Sadly the cards got bent and semi-crushed by the wolf’s jaws.

“Wahahaha,” Bastion laughed, “I still got it! I made the RIGHT decision to order you from Capcom!”

“Did you know that I’m actually a radio wave robot-lookin’ head hand containing the soul of a dead child, thus filled with enough power to speak and learn for twenty billion more years?”

“I did not need to know that, Omega-Xis, but it sure answers a lot of questions.” Bastion stretched out a bit. “Ah, there’s no way I can get distracted in a duel!”

“Why’d you say that?” Omega-Xis asked.

“Because it’s the title!” Bastion answered.

 

Yu-Gi-Oh! GX! The Fan Fic

Episode 40: Duel Distractions – Part One

Part One

 

Bastion stealthily sneaked into the Slifer Red dormitories and inside of Jaden’s room, filled with his friends…and his robotic friends. Bastion had a sly grin decorating his face. “Okay, ready?” he whispered.

“You know it,” Omega-Xis replied. His eyes turned even more completely crimson and his green fluffy hair-flames began to flow like wild sparks. His mouth began absorbing energy from his environment. And then…

“FIRE!!” BLAM!! Omega-Xis loudly blew open a hole in the wall.

“WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!” Jaden screamed!

“WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!” Syrus screamed!

“WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!” Koala Ko Ala screamed!

“WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!” Mann McOldsmobile screamed!

“WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!” Gut Man screamed!

“Cuts cuts cuts! Mornin’, everyone!” Cuts Man screamed!

 

“Dude, why you be trippin’?!” Jaden growled! “You jus’ come, bussin’ in mah room and blowin’ the wall wit’ yo arm cannons n’ crap!”

“WHY IS YOUR HAND A ROBOT BEAR?!” Syrus asked.

“IMMA WOLF, BOI!!” Omega-Xis retaliated!

“Are you edible?” Koala Ko Ala asked, salivating.

“No! What’s wrong with you people?!”

“He’s just hungry in the mornings,” Gut Man said.

“Psshaw, NOBODY had robot buddies in the school before I came rolling in,” Mann McOldsmobile sighed, “And now that I have Cuts n’ Guts…”

“Just Gut Man,” Gut Man corrected.

“Sorry, it happens. But all of a sudden, you get a robot wolf hand! Isn’t that a bit excessive?”

“My hand was eaten by a Bengal Tiger while I was on Duel Island.”

“It wasn’t even really CALLED Duel Island, we just call it that, though,” Syrus specified. “But still, why did you…”

“Well I reckon that if you’re gonna do something, you do it right,” Bastion proudly proclaimed.

“That’s NOT how you do prosthetics right,” Syrus sy-ed.

“Aw, come on, Sy, stop making the OBVIOUS jokes!” Jaden urged. “What’s on your mind, Bastion, commin’ in and bustin’ up my walls?”

“Come with us, we’re going to do some good old-fashioned duel training!”

 

And so the group approached the cool training cliff. They all, along with the complete Bastion Baseball Wreckers Gang, began drawing cards in a synchronized fashion. “One, two, draw!” Bastion directed, smashing up a card with Omega-Xis. “One, two, draw! One, two, draw! One, two, draw!”

“Bastion, isn’t this a little useless?” Syrus asked.

“Why, of course not!” Bastion disagreed. “It’s exercising your dueling muscles!!”

“Oh I feel smarter already!” Piggybank squealed!

“Well, Koala Ko Ala sure ain’t feelin’ the burn,” Cuts Man chuckled, pointing to the bear-like kid, who was passed out on his back.

“Oh, I can’t go on,” he panted.

“Now I know you can draw more than four cards, Koala!”

“But I didn’t eat my morning turkey yet…”

“Neither has Fred, and yet look at him!” Omega-Xis suggested, talking perfectly, even though his mouth was full of smashed trading cards.

 

“HUH HUH HUH HUH HUH HUH…” Fluffy Fred was feeling the burn! He was drawing up a hurricane, picking up cards faster than you can say ‘A’!

“WOOOOOOOOOOOOOAH!!” Mann McOldsmobile gasped! “I gotta try that!” He pulled a card incorrectly, causing his entire deck to fall out, sloshing all over his feet. “Whoops.”

“Now do you all see?” Baseball Bob asked, like their father or something. “This is why you need to practice your ‘power drawing!’ If you don’t, during a Shadow Rider match, your ENTIRE DECK could fall out, humiliating yourself in front of the enemy!”

“Really?”

“Yeah, that’s what Bastion told me.”

 

“Whoops, looks like I just dropped a humiliating, incriminating trading card!” Syrus said, as he accidentally dropped a card.

“What’s all this, then?” Bastion asked, picking it up. It was some cat lady playing on an electrical drum set. “Thunder Nyan Nyan? You pervert! You have a cat girl fetish!”

“Waaaaaaah?! Where’s your proof?”

“Here,” Bastion said, pointing to the card.

“Aw, Bastion, don’t be so hard on him,” Jaden said, “Isn’t it NORMAL for depraved young boys like him to have a trading card they salivate over? Just because he doesn’t know what it’s like to feel a real woman doesn’t mean he isn’t a functioning member of society, y’know what I’m sayin’?”

“No, it’s weird. Syrus, you’re really weird.”

“Aw.”

“Hey, don’t make fun of him, I’ve got a ‘card crush’ as well!” Koala Ko Ala defended! He held out a card with a green haired fat lady whose robe was slipping off. “Dian Keto the Cure Master, guys! She reminds me of my girlfriend back home… Cassandra…”

“Well, y’know what they say… that teenagers are disgusting idiots,” Omega-Xis said.

 

“Well, I’ve got one myself!” Fluffy Fred proclaimed!

“Why does everybody sound so proud about this?” Bastion asked, confused. Fluffy Fred held out a copy of Nekogal #2.

“You’re the same as Syrus, but with more mature tastes; I approve,” Piggybank said sternly.

“AW YEAH!!” Fluffy Fred cheered.

“Why am I always at the bottom of the barrel?” Syrus whimpered.

“Eh, I really like THIS card,” Baseball Bob said sheepishly, holding out a Kuriboh.

“Either you don’t get this conversation or you’re worse than the rest of them,” Bastion claimed.

“Huh?”

“Bob, please go home and think about your actions today.”

“Okay.” Baseball Bob began the long, sad trek home.

“Look at THIS one,” Piggybank said, full of pride.

“Not YOU too,” Omega-Xis groaned.

“Thanks a lot, now I know that women suck just as much as men!” Bastion said sadly.

“Aw, look at it!” Piggybank showed off her ‘Bastion Misawa’ Duel Monsters card.

“… Don’t try to tell me that’s not bootlegged.”

“It is! I made it on Yugiohcardmaker.com!”

“You sicken me, Piggybank,” Mann McOldsmobile said, disapprovingly. He got a sharp quarter hurled into his forehead. “What I mean to say is, I’m sickened by your horrible usage of the card-creating technologies we’ve been given in today’s day and age. Look at this!” Mann McOldsmobile took out a completely censored card.

“AAAAAAAARGH, TAKE IT AWAAAAAAAAAAAY!!” Piggybank shrieked, punching Mann McOldsmobile into the horizon.

“Waaaagh, Mann!” Gut Man screamed, running after him, off the cliff.

“Cuts cuts cuts! You guys’ve got bad taste! Except for Mann.”

“What could a ROBOT possibly like that’s better than us, eh?” Fluffy Fred asked harshly.

“Limiter Removal,” Cuts Man revealed, taking out the Spell card. “Isn’t it just so HOT?!”

“… Let’s ignore him,” Bastion suggested. Everybody faced away from Cuts Man.

“It’s ROBOT HUMOR! I was just kidding! Fine then, I’ll go follow Gut Man, then. Hmph.” Cuts Man leaped off the cliff and into the surf.

 

“All of you are terrible!” Bastion shouted! “Control your passions, please!”

“Yeah, y’whores!” Omega-Xis threw in for good measure.

“NOT A WHORE!!” Piggybank sobbed.

“At LEAST be like Jaden!” Bastion said, pointing to Jaden. “He’s too BUSY to have time for your silly ‘card crushes!’ He’s a real duelist, using them for their real purposes; not for porn, like that disgusting Mann guy.”

“What’s a crush?” Jaden asked.

“It’s like love, but more childish and arguably worse,” Syrus explained.

“What’s love, yo?” Jaden asked.

“Are you SURE he’s not worse than us?” Koala Ko Ala wondered.

“Yes, yes he isn't! Usually.”

Fluffy Fred had another idea. “Fine, sir, if it’ll please you and make me a better person, I’ll stop myself from ever loving again!!” Fluffy Fred stuck his hand into his chest and began squeezing his heart.

“Don’t do that, kid,” Omega-Xis commanded.

His eyes…! Fluffy Fred morbidly realized. They’re like blood-red pools of souls, ripe and ready for hell’s sentencing… Fluffy Fred pulled his hand out of his chest and began to apply a bandage. “Uh, okay, Mr. Omega-Xis.”

“Be quiet and go get that thing treated, alright?”

“YES SIR, MR. OMEGA-XIS SIR!!” Fluffy Fred screamed, running off into the jungle.

“NO, THE NURSE’S OFFICE IS THAT WAY, THAT… never mind,” Bastion decided.

 

“So, now what, since we’ve just cut out half of our cast we started out with?” Piggybank asked, nuzzling Bastion’s neck uncomfortably.

“We find out whose bag this is, of course!” Professor Banner announced, appearing out of nowhere with Garfield the cat!

“MEOW,” Garfield meowed.

Aw man, not that creepy cat again! Syrus cringed.

“Like I said, bag!” Banner restated, holding up a mysterious duffle bag. “It was found somewhere in the forest, and we need to find out why it was there!”

“Why do we need to do that?” Omega-Xis asked.

“Oh, nice hand, Bastion.”

“Thank you, Professor Banner!” And with that, they all began walking with Banner for no good reason.

 

SEVERAL! MINUTES!! LATER!!!

Banner was leading the way as the group stumbled around in the forest in seemingly-random directions. “Are you SURE that the random bag was found way out here?” Piggybank asked, feeling antsy.

“Well of course,” Banner assured, “I found it around the ancient coliseum.”

“Random coliseum?!” Syrus repeated. “Why should there be a random coliseum on the island?!”

“Well, remember those ancient Egyptians?” reminded Banner. “Maybe THEY did it.”

“Oh yeah, they sure were a riot!” Jaden laughed. “Oh, there’s the random coliseum!” He pointed to a dry plant-less clearing where a coliseum had been randomly built.

“I’M GOING IN!!” Bastion shouted, running toward it!

“Oh, there goes my Action Bastion,” Piggybank sighed.

“Do you have any OTHER character traits besides loving Bastion way too much?” Jaden asked.

“Not yet, why?”

 

Everybody headed into the stone building for no good reason. As soon as they’d entered they saw several people doing various forms of hard labor. “Huh?” the main group wondered. “Why are they…”

Suddenly a tiger appeared in the pit of the coliseum! “What’s with the tiger?”

“GRAWWR!!” the tiger growled.

“BOOM!” shouted Omega-Xis, shooting it with a bright flash of energy, causing it to explode violently.

“Oh no, my dear tiger!” cried a muscular, toned, large-breasted lady wearing her several spiky accessories and her hair in a red ponytail. “How dare you all!”

“Why’s there a huge woman there?” the group asked itself. “What are we missing here?”

“I’M IN LOVE!!” Bastion exclaimed!

“VHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!” screamed his companions, especially Piggybank.

“I THOUGHT YOU PROCLAIMED YOUR LOVE TO ME!!” Piggybank screamed!

“Not really, and I’m into older women,” Bastion said.

“You’re even worse than Jaden now, yo!”

“Actually, he’s right, you’re really weird,” the lady in question told Bastion with a grimace. “I’m Tanya, the third of the Seven Stars, and I’m also an Amazon just because. Also I was forcing all of these people to build this coliseum because I had nothing better to do.”

“She just asked us to do it and we figured, ‘Maybe we DO need a hobby besides trading cards,’” one student said, confirming her words.

 

“So, because I AM an Amazon, and I hate all men, which one of you boys am I dueling for a key?” Tanya asked.

“Me?” Jaden suggested.

“No, for I must conquer my fear of rejection!” Bastion shouted!

“NO… I WILL FIGHT YOU FOR THE LOVE OF MY MAN!!” Piggybank shouted, pushing Bastion and Jaden out of her way.

“Um, excuse me, girl, but are you REALLY sure that’s what you should be doing in this situation?” Tanya asked.

“Wh-WHAT DO YOU MEAN?! I’M FIGHTING FOR LOVE!!”

“She’s right,” Omega-Xis said, “You’re acting really stupid for a boy who doesn’t really care about you all that much. Why can’t you just be cool like that Nancy Wut lady?”

“SHE has personality,” Syrus agreed.

“Oh, and Alexis is great, too,” Chazz mentioned.

“But… but… it’s who I AM!!” Piggybank screamed! “I can’t help it!”

“Yes you can, young lady!” Tanya shouted! “Come on, believe in yourself and liberate yourself from the shackles you’ve placed onto yourself!!”

“Yeah, I believe in you!” Bastion cheered.

“Uh… uh…” Piggybank exploded.

“… Well, that takes care of this scene. So should we Duel now?”

“Why not?”

 

The two Dueling Duelists walked off into the center of the coliseum. None of the audience could understand what was going on. “Tell me your name,” Tanya requested, pointing to Bastion.

“Omega-Xis—”

“Bastion Misawa,” Bastion said. “Though my hand’s named Omega-Xis. I like dueling and long walks in empty corridors.”

“That’s nice. But…” Tanya held out two decks, one in each palm. “I have two decks that I would normally use, but I always let my opponent choose which one they’ll be facing: the deck of knowledge, and the deck of courage. Which will you choose?”

“I choose knowledge because knowledge is power!”

“Doesn’t that mean you’re giving her the stronger deck, then?” Omega-Xis asked.

“Yeah, he really has a point there,” Banner agreed.

“D’aw, I can’t speak good around women!!”

“You can around Piggybank.”

“She’s not a woman, she’s a girl.”

“Anyways,” Tanya sighed, getting back to the topic at hand, “nice choice if I do say so myself.” She stuck her KNOWLEDGE!! deck into her somewhat-spiky Duel Disk.

“Maybe it IS a nice choice, but not as nice as the choice I’m making… FOR MYSELF!!” Bastion shouted, putting his OWN deck into his Duel Disk.

“That sounded TERRIBLE!”

“Oh shut up, Syrus!”

 

“Now if the peanut gallery would please shut up,” Tanya irritably growled, “I have ANOTHER announcement before the duel begins.”

“What is it?” Bastion asked.

“Well, because the Amazons historically ARE a tribe of women and have to periodically go out and find men in order to reproduce and carry on their bloodline…”

“I can see where this is going,” Syrus cringed.

“Where?” Koala Ko Ala asked. “Y’mean—”

“If I defeat Bastion, then he must help me bear my child if he loses!” Tanya announced! Everybody in the area at that time drank a large cup of water just to spit it out loudly.

“WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!” Piggybank screamed, exploding back into existence.

“I think you just set back ‘Women’s Rights’ a few years, ma’am,” Omega-Xis said.

“I give in, I lose,” Bastion said. Jaden, Syrus and Piggybank hit him in the head with large stone slabs.

“Yeah, you can call US whores, but YOU’RE the REAL whore around HERE!!” Syrus shouted.

“Who’m I supposed to look up to now, man?!” Jaden cried.

“Hey, lady!” Piggybank called, “I won’t have you stealing MY Bastion like this, not after I’ve shown in over thirty episodes’ worth of hilarious sexual hijinks how much my life revolves around his first confession to me! You’d better back off, or else it’s MY turn to take you on!!”

“DUEL!!” Bastion and Tanya exclaimed. (Bastion: 4000 Life Points, Tanya: 4000 Life Points)

 

“Were we all just ignored?” Syrus asked, confused.

“Yep!” Bastion answered, head bleeding dangerously. He wiped off his head, leaving it clean and non-bloody as a whistle, and got in the DOOL zone.

“I’ll start this Duel off by summoning Amazoness Swords Woman,” Tanya said, summoning a lady with almond skin, wild (really weird) red hair, and a big sword.

“NYEAAAAH!!” she screamed, like some sort of weird goblin thing. What a disgusting voice. (ASZ: 1500 Attack Points)

“I’ll also set one card face-down and end my turn,” Tanya said, ending her turn.

 

“Well then, I summon Hydrogeddon in Attack Mode!” Bastion said, summoning his cool kid to the field. (Hydrogeddon: 1600 Attack Points) “Attack her Swords Woman with… Water Attack!”

“Does every card have an official attack?” Omega-Xis asked.

“I don’t know, but it sure is fun to name those things.” And so Hydrogeddon blasted a gush of water out of its mouth at the sword-wielding woman. She exploded, dropping her sword! It bounced off of the ground and lodged itself into Bastion’s head. “Ow!” (Bastion: 3900 Life Points)

“Oh, don’t worry, this isn’t a Shadow Game, silly!” Tanya revealed. “I wouldn’t wanna hurt my baby’s daddy.”

“What just went down, yo?” Jaden asked, confused.

“My Swords Woman’s ability is to redirect all Battle Damage I’d take and inflict it upon my opponent,” Tanya explained.

 

“What an idiot,” Koala Ko Ala sneered, “EVERYONE knows THAT card’s effect! Even me!”

“You did?” Syrus checked.

“…”

“He’s not being stupid, stupid!” Piggybank corrected. “Bastion may have less Life Points for now, but give him a moment…”

“Oh yeah, NOW I remember what made Hydrogeddon non-useless!” Banner recalled.

“I feel like I need to say something to make this conversation come full-circle, yo,” Jaden said. “Yo! Bastion’s no dum-dum!”

“WHAT ARE YOU SAYING ABOUT MY FATHER!?!?”

 

“Exactly!” Bastion affirmed! “I use Hydrogeddon’s ability to summon another copy of itself from my deck, since I just killed a monster with it!” Another Hydrogeddon splooshed up to the plate out of the ground! (Hydrogeddon: 1600 Attack Points)

“Told you!” Piggybank giggled.

“You’re defenseless, so now we’re going to wage a direct attack!” Omega-Xis announced!

“Hey, only I say that!” Bastion growled.

“Sorry, boss. Now YOUR HAND says it.”

“Well, gosh dangit!”

“WE’LL see who’s waging a direct attack once I play my Trap card, Pride of Tribe!” She flipped up her face-down card, which showed a lone Amazonian warrior stepping atop a very large rock in the middle of the night of the full moon. Was there to be a werewolf involved…? “Now, because you’ve just destroyed an Amazon of mine, I can summon a new one from my deck in Attack mode! I’ll summon my Amazoness Paladin!” A cool Amazonian sorceress lady appeared, holding her staff of power. (Amazoness Paladin: 1700 -> 1800 Attack Points)

“What’s with her power level?” Bastion gulped.

“She gains 100 Attack Points for every other Amazon monster on the field, since that’s her effect,” Tanya explained.

“Aw damn it!” Piggybank groaned loudly.

“I guess that’s all I can do, then,” Bastion sighed, wiping his forehead.

“Um, you can set that card in my mouth,” Omega-Xis said, wiggling around one of the cards in his mouth in order to be noticed.

“BAST-YUUUUUUUN, DON’T BE A JERK!!” Piggybank screamed!

“Men aren’t supposed to crave getting laid until they’re in College™!” Syrus said. “Before then it’s just really immature and frowned upon!”

“Really?” Bastion asked.

“As a matter of fact, yeah.”

“Oh. Well, I still end my turn.”

“BASTION!!”

 

“Well, I hope that by now you’ve really realized where you are in this game,” Tanya said like a real narrator. “You’re behind in Life Points, you’ve lost your field advantage, and it’s my turn! I’ll end this game in three turns or less!”

“Less talky more duel-y!” Jaden heckled. “I didn’t PAY to watch THIS!!”

“You paid?” Banner asked.

“Not really, I’m just jivin’. But I am bored.”

 

Wait, Bastion thought, What am I doing? Aren’t I dueling for the sake of the free world here? Damn, I forgot, all thanks to her boobs! I’ll show her! I’ll show her why you don’t try to distract me… IN A DUEL!!

There he goes again, Omega-Xis thought.

 

TO BE CONTINUED!!

 

 

 

And sadly, the 14-page-long (on Word) chapter had to be chopped apart in order to be posted at all. Here it is.

[Des ＨＥＲＯ]

Good Episode, looks like I need to catch up. Since you changed the deck Bastion used, you possible changed his Fate, or am I wrong. You make Tanya sound like Mia in Yugioh The Abridged kind of.

[Weather Report - Stand]

Yep, I SURE did! Heh heh heh... well, you'll see tomorrow. And for Tanya, I tried to make her sound as much of a hypocrite as possible. She's weird like that.

[Toffee.]

 

Chazz looks awesome like this.

[Weather Report - Stand]

Sylistic suck done right. Notice how his right arm kinda disappears...

[Weather Report - Stand]

Because my computer/forum is horrible...

 

[spoiler= Episode 40 - Part Two]Yu-Gi-Oh! GX! The Fan Fic

Episode 40: Duel Distractions – Part One

Part Two

 

“Miss Tanya,” Bastion said, “I do believe you’re trying to distract me.”

“What?” Tanya asked. “Whatever do you mean?”

“You’ve told me that winning means that I get to do things which I’m not at leisure to explain.”

“Yeah, so?”

“YOU’RE ONLY DOING THAT TO CATCH ME OFF-GUARD, TO DISTRACT ME!!” Bastion shouted!

“Actually, you may be onto something,” Omega-Xis supposed.

“Who cares, you already agreed to the terms, and I don’t have any time for bribing or adoption! I summon the Amazoness Chain Master!” A lady with cool hair and blue tigery clothing leaped onto the field, holding her really long chain spearing device. (Amazoness Chain Master: 1500 Attack Points, Amozoness Paladin: 1800 -> 1900 Attack Points) “Now, Amazoness Paladin, attack his Hydrogeddon!” Tanya ordered. The paladin lady fired out a cool holographic star at Hydrogeddon, blowing it up violently. (Bastion: 3600 Life Points) “Next, Chain Master, attack!” The chain-user threw her chain stabbing weapon at Hydrogeddon. It bounced off of its watery hide, doing nothing. (Tanya: 3900 Life Points)

 

“THAT was dumb,” Jaden insisted.

“No it wasn’t.”

“Yes it was, yo! Now shut up!”

“I SAID it wasn’t; when Amazoness Chain Master is destroyed, I can add one card from my opponent’s hand into my own by paying 1500 Life Points,” Tanya explained, “and I’ll be taking that one card your hand was talking about earlier, kid.” (Tanya: 2400 Life Points) The Amazoness Chain Master threw her chain at one of the cards in Bastion’s hand and, satisfied, detonated. (Amazoness Paladin: 1900 -> 1800 Attack Points)

“Ugh, I told you ya’ shoulda’ set that one,” Omega-Xis grimaced, throwing the card over like a Frisbee. Tanya caught it and stared at it for a moment.

Ugh, why’s it so bent up like this? That boy needs to take better care of his cards. “Thanks for the Ring of Destruction,” she thanked with a wink.

“Aw man, not THAT card!” Syrus cried! “Now she’s gonna blow up a monster and win! But first she needs to have more Life Points than you, Bastion, so you’re okay.”

“I know that already! And don’t think I’m trying to lose anymore, so don’t make any more jabs about that, either!”

“Yay!” Piggybank cheered, as if everything was really okay…

 

“So I’ll set that card and two others, and I’ll call that my turn,” Tanya finished.

“Well then I’ll summon Oxygeddon!” Bastion said, summoning Oxygeddon. “Then I activate Bonding – H2O!” The three cards began combining together!

“What? What does that do?” Tanya asked.

“It just allows me to summon a monster called Water Dragon!” The three-dinosaur combo quickly turned into the cool guy that we all know and love. They became a tremendously large and long dragon creature formed from water, flicking its tail around like a hungry snake eying its next snack.

“HYAGOOOOOON!!” it roared! (Water Dragon: 2800 Attack Points)

“Oh, how threatening,” Tanya chuckled.

“Yes it is,” Bastion assured, “and now it’ll be attacking your Paladin!” The Water Dragon spat out a large wad of water at the Paladin lady!

 

Showing a gorilla encased in a large blue aura, it caused a cool aura to surround her Amazoness Paladin. “This Trap card decreases the Attack Points of one of my monsters to 0.”

“Why do you want to do THAT?!” Bastion wondered, as the large water projectile ball simply hung in the air, waiting for the chance to hit something.

“Because I activate my NEXT card, Dramatic Rescue!” Her next Trap card had some lady attached to a tree, whose captors were racing toward, as one lone arm reached out for her from the picture’s borders… “Because my Zero Sprite card affects one of my monsters, I can simply substitute them with an Amazoness in my hand,” Tanya expressed. “I’ll be equipping Zero Sprite to my Amazoness Swords Woman!” The Amazoness Paladin disappeared in a smoky poof of smoke, replaced by the one woman from before, who took on the blue aura herself. (Amazoness Swords Woman: 0 Attack Points)

 

“Oh crap, Water Dragon, don’t attack her! DON’T!!” Omega-Xis and Bastion screamed together!

“You already declared your attack!” Tanya laughed! “I win, a-ha ha ha ha!!” The water hit Amazoness Swords Woman hard enough to send her sword flying into Bastion’s right shoulder, spraying blood out in a dangerous manner!

“WAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!” Bastion screamed! (Bastion: 800 Life Points)

“This IS a Shadow Game!” Syrus screamed! “Bastion, you hafta’ get outta there, now!”

“No, Syrus,” Banner said solemnly, “Once you enter a Shadow Game, you cannot leave until it is over.”

“So we can’t do anything?” Koala Ko Ala worried.

“DAMN IT, LADY!!” Jaden and Piggybank leaped out from their seats and rammed into the duel pit, where they smashed into some sort of dueling barrier of some sort.

“THE HELL IS THIS?!” Jaden asked loudly.

“He told ya’ that you can’t stop this duel,” Tanya said, “so just go away! I’m busy now!”

“EFF THAT!” Piggybank shouted! She and Jaden gave the barrier one big smashing punch and blew in into smithereens!

 

Not really, they just hurt their hands. “Owwwwww…” Jaden cried.

“This sucks! Let us in!” Piggybank went on.

Isn’t this just like Duel Island? Syrus remembered. He envisioned that weird darkness dome that encased Chazz and Yuki during their final duel. What’s up with all these connections, here?

“Now, it’s my turn!” Tanya announced, drawing one last card. “I summon Amazoness Blowpiper!” A small-yet-physically fit lady with cool hair leaped out onto the field, holding her blowpipe close to her chest. (Amazoness Blowpiper: 800 Attack Points)

“Crap!” Omega-Xis cried!

“This is it!” Bastion whimpered.

“I activate your Ring of Destruction card and tribute my Amazoness Blowpiper!” The magic grenade ring of truth appeared around the pipe lady’s neck and detonated with a fiery explosion. (Tanya: 1600 Life Points, Bastion: 0 Life Points, Game Over)

 

Tanya emerged unharmed, but Bastion was covered in explosive smudges of smoke. “Koff koff,” he wheezed, “ugh, losing sucks…”

“Bastion, buddy, hang on!” Omega-Xis cried! “Come on, stay up!” Bastion wiggled a bit until he fell on his face.

“That went perfectly!” Tanya giggled! “Okay, everyone, show’s over, go home.” She lifted Bastion onto her shoulder and began walking away.

“WAITWAITWAITWOAHWOAHWOAH!!” Omega-Xis screamed! “What’re you doing?! Are you going to do… that stuff to him while he’s unconscious?! AND I’M NOT?!?!”

“Yeah, that blood loss’ll make sure he’s out for… around seven hours,” Tanya guessed.

“Oh crap, that’s not good,” Jaden gulped. “Rape is no joke, people! Someone get me a combat knife!”

“Gimmee that.” Piggybank tore the Spirit Key right off of Jaden’s neck.

“Ow.”

 

The pig-eared girl ran up to Tanya and drop-kicked her in the back. “Ow, what’s your problem?” Tanya asked forcefully.

“If you won’t give me back Bastion, then I’ll wager this Spirit Key in order to try and get him AND his key back!” Piggybank bet.

“Oh yeah, I forgot that was what I came here for…” Tanya picked up a large candle and set it on the ground, then lit it. “Alright, this large candle will be burning for around five hours. If you come back then, I’ll accept your rematch and duel you for your boyfriend.”

“He’s not her boyfriend!” Omega-Xis shouted! Everybody gave him an odd glance. “What, she isn’t. What’re you guys implying?”

“… Ignoring that, now get out of here, I’ve got to tidy up a bit in here.” Tanya snapped her fingers, summoning her cool tiger, which freaked everybody out of the arena in a large stampede.

 

“Damn it, we lost Bastion,” Jaden grumbled, disappointed.

“Well, don’t worry, Piggybank’ll win him back, judging by this show’s plotline!” Banner insisted, still holding Garfield.

“What happened to Piggybank, anyways?” Koala Ko Ala wondered, rolling with them like a dangerous boulder. “Shouldn’t she be running with us?”

“Hmm,” Syrus thought, “good point.”

 

“WHAAAAAAAT?! MY PROTÉGÉ BASTION LOST!!” Crowler shrieked!

“Yeah, and I’m going to win him back, as I just told you!” Piggybank promised! “I’m dueling for love!” A random boy bumped into her as he ran by. “DIE!!” Piggybank threw a nickel at him.

“WAGH, NICKEL!!” the boy cried, as he tripped and fell, trampled by the horde of stupid people behind him.

 

“Back to our current conversation,” Crowler sighed, “you’ve never been recorded dueling at Duel Academy.”

“But I DO duel, sometimes!”

“Oh please. You have a C average overall, because in Duel Class and Rulebook Demonstration Explanation Class you do nothing but stare and drool on Misawa.”

“But he’s awesome!” Piggybank said. “He was the first person to ever imply that they loved me…”

 

 

She grew up in a household with a very remarkable older sister, whom was showered with affection by their parents.

“Bunnyear’s great!” they said. “Just look at her, she has bunny ears AND a television screen on her stomach! Isn’t that incredible?!”

“Yeah,” Bunnyear said, “look! It REALLY WORKS!”

‘Aaaaand it’s gonna be a real scorcher out there, folks, as temperatures around the tri-state area are gonna be heatin’ up! The low’s gonna be somewhere around 69 degrees, and the high MAY fluctuate up to 120 degrees, thanks to that ozone hole right above the city, so this may be our warmest December yet!’

 

Nobody really cared much for Piggybank; her family was always watching the television in her sister’s belly. She had to do everything for herself, like wash her clothes, fix her meals, and even buy her own school supplies, ever since she stopped being a baby and cute and everything, losing her parents’ interest. All of those hardships all played their part in strengthening young Piggybank to levels unseen before in pig-eared children, somehow, for some reason.

 

And then came school! All the children made fun of her.

“Heh, your ears are like PIG ears!”

“Hey, do you eat bacon?”

“Your ears are like pig EARS!”

“Why’s there money in your head?”

“Heh, you’re just a PIGGYBANK! Wait, that’s not funny, it’s your name…”

“Your EARS are like PIG EARS!”

“Hey, her ears are pig ears. And she’s got a bank slot in her head. OH, THAT’S why she’s named PIGGYBANK! Your parents must be real jerks.”

 

Naturally, she abused her strength and beat the kids up. This resulted in several parent-teacher conferences on the subject, and yet, her parents were too busy watching their eldest daughter’s televisionbelly, so Piggybank improvised with person-shaped cardboard cut-outs, colored in with crayon. Surprisingly, they worked. This meant that she faced absolutely NO negative punishments, and no punishment means one bad/ignored/spoiled/loner child.

 

But the teasing really hurt her. Couldn’t she just go away somewhere, to get away from it all? Someplace where bullies wouldn’t go, for fear of being labeled ‘losers’? The answer came in the form of a commercial she overheard one night during a ‘Wednesday steak n’ ice cream sundae dinner’. ‘Hey, duelists,’ Kaiba ordered, ‘come to my Duel Monsters school because I told you to! While there, you can humiliate your card-playing friends and live on a volcanic island! And if that isn’t extreme enough for you idiots, you can kill other students without any form of punishment or consequences! I’m not asking for YOU to come to MY school, YOU need to grovel and plead, prostrate before me, maggots! I OWE YOU NOTHING! Entrance exams take place tomorrow at any town that matters, and I know how much YOU wanna go. So come on down to Kaibaland Duel Academy. ‘Where a kid can have fun.’’ He ended the promo with a sickening half-assed smile.

 

That was all Piggybank needed to hear. A boarding school for card-playing nerds? Where she could kill the few that would make witty quips about her freakish biology?! Sign her up! So she calmly walked up into her parents’ bedroom, took a golden watch and diamond band, walked over to the nearest ‘WE BUY YOUR GOLD’ building and sold them for cash, bought some weird kid off the street’s Duel Monsters deck and bought a subway ticket down to the nearest town where entrance exams were taking place.

 

“Hey baby, wanna go out sometime?” asked a certain boy. Piggybank stared at him in disbelief.

“Oh, uh, I don’t… know what to say…” she stuttered out, blushing and looking away. This was the first time she’d ever been shown any actual love! Or so she’d thought, since she didn’t realize how bland and un-serious the boy sounded. And at that point in time she decided that she was going to love him, no matter how twisted and demented her idea of love was. This marked the birth of the Baseball Wreckers Gang, circa Episode Eleven.

 

“And that, Dr. Crowler, is why I need to go back there and duel for the first time since stepping onto this island in order to save my man!”

“I’m sorry, but you lost me at the part with the rabbit-eared girl,” Crowler said. “Why did the parents always watch her TV when they probably had a great one in their den?”

“… I don’t know… but I don’t care! It’s time for me to do something!”

“Maybe SHE was their den,” another random kid suggested.

“Okay.”

 

 

 

Watch out, 'cause Piggybank's getting the spotlight next time.

 

Also:

 

 

[Des ＨＥＲＯ]

That was a good Episode, I could imagine what Piggybank is going to do in the next one.

[Weather Report - Stand]

Yep. If you've looked at the character profiles, there's a huge spoiler right there! Hee hee! Wait, that's bad. Anyways, remember: if a male character is being a horny bastard, they're going to get struck down in one of the most painful ways possible. Also Bunnyear is cool.

[ThatPhantomGuy]

Weather Report-Senpai!!! *Bows*

 

Sorry! I have another part for you to review but my PM isn't sending it...

[Weather Report - Stand]

Hm... well then, try sending it via e-mail to [email protected]. That may work.

[ThatPhantomGuy]

It is sent my master...

[Weather Report - Stand]

Well alright, then. Episode 41 will be up sometime this week.

[Des ＨＥＲＯ]

Yay, im still trying to picture it...

[Des ＨＥＲＯ]

Yay, im still trying to picture it...

[Ghoulish]

i honestly thought that was gonna be jst lame and not funny but thank god i was proven wrong lol that was actually hilarious, LOL at the part where he looked at the card he got given, great work

[Ghoulish]

i honestly thought that was gonna be jst lame and not funny but thank god i was proven wrong lol that was actually hilarious, LOL at the part where he looked at the card he got given, great work

[Weather Report - Stand]

i honestly thought that was gonna be jst lame and not funny but thank god i was proven wrong lol that was actually hilarious' date=' LOL at the part where he looked at the card he got given, great work

[/quote']

 

Well, what would you expect? That I actually liked GX? Well, once, but that time has ended, so I thought the best way to vent out my anger would be to rip it apart.

 

Thank you for your compliments, and also thanks for being something like... the twelfth different person to actually post here. Hooray!