Yu-Gi-Oh! GX! The Fan Fic (UPDATE: Episode 45 Started! Here's where it gets serious.)

[Kaisu]

Very Epikz.. Now I will rule YCm with the new word trend 'Epikz'..

 

BTW, you did this again

 

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[Weather Report - Stand]

Well, I'll fix it then, thanks. And thanks for coming up with that new word. You've just earned: one moldy headband!

[Kaisu]

it Weather, it.

[Weather Report - Stand]

Thank goodness for the edit button.

[Kaisu]

Yes, thank goodness..

[Des ＨＥＲＯ]

Good episode again, ive just comfused myself about something.Once again, the edit button saves the day.

[Weather Report - Stand]

I'm sure that several were waiting for this one. Also, please forgive me if I have to post the second part Sunday.

[spoiler=Episode 24: The New Chazz][spoiler=Part One]Yu-Gi-Oh! GX! The Fan Fic
Episode 24: Whatever Happened to That Chazz Kid, Anyway?!
Part One

What DID happen to that Chazz kid? Hmm, I suppose it’s time to look at his adventures. Our story begins on a yacht in the middle of a really big misty ocean. Chazz was restin’ his arm on the handrails like a cool kid. “Pfft, stupid Slifers,” Chazz growled, “stupid Bastion. Stupid school. Stupid mom. Stupid stuff. Stupid everything.” A hallucination of Jaden himself appeared on the mist, like it was some sort of stupid television screen or something!
“Yo Chazz dawg get yo game on throw down face down king of games!!” Hallucinatory-Jaden yelled.
“SHUT UP, THE MEMORY OF YOU IS INFURIATING!!”
“Eep!”
“You’re SUCH a stupid hallucination!” Chazz roared! “They don’t TALK BACK! I’m gonna kick your ass!”
“Go ahead and try!” Hallucinatory-Jaden challenged.
“Darn it, if only I had one more duel against that guy,” Chazz ranted, “then I could show the WORLD how stupid and wimpy that stupid, wimpy wimp really is!”
“Well who cares, I got sports drink!” Hallucinatory-Jaden took out a bottle of Korpiko™ brand sports drink and chugged it down.
“I don’t care!” Chazz shot back.
“Well, at least I’M not STRANDED!” Hallucinatory-Jaden pointed to Chazz’s half-sunked yacht.
“What the— when did THIS happen?!”
“Sorry, bro,” called his older brothers from the escape raft, “there’s not enough room for another small boy on the raft! Don’t die so that we can still abuse you in order to take over the world!”
“STUPID BROTHERS!!” Chazz raged at them! “I can’t BELIEVE that I trusted those brothers whom I’m not related to! Such idiocy…”
“YOU’RE the IDIOT here, Chazz-yo!” Hallucinatory-Jaden countered! “Even I could beat you in a duel, and I’m not even real!”
“SHUT UP, YOU!!” Chazz in full-on rage mode tried his darnedest to punch out that weird figment of his twisted mind, but only succeeded in putting himself off-balance and flipping into the ocean like a fool. “NOOOOOOOOOOOGLUBGLUBGLUB…”
“Ha! Told you I could beat you, yo!” Hallucinatory-Jaden mocked.

Approximately four hours later, Chazz woke up soggy in the cargo hold of a sunken ship or whatever. A glowin’ fella was flutterin’ all around his face like some sort of annoying idiot. “Hey, wake up, boss!” the fella said to ‘im. “Boss! Are you okay there?” The guy’s accent was similar to that gal Countergirl Williams, ‘cept he enunciated his words better and sounded more like a bat-sh*t crazy idjit. Turned out he had the form of a yellow guy in disturbing flowered Speedos with two eyes attached by eyestalks. “Hmm, maybe the Ojama Yellow Theme Song will help him!” the guy decided. He shimmied around disturbingly a bit as some royally annoying, vaguely Indian-sounding song played. I apologize in advance for his song pissing off all those people who love Indian music.
“GRRRRR!! YOUR MUSIC IS IRRITATING ME!!” Chazz swiped the weirdo outta the air with one hand!
“Welcome back to the world of the living~” said some sort of man, standin’ around in seaweed for some reason.
“Gaah! Who’re you? And why are you covered in seaweed?” Chazz asked.
“I’m afraid I can’t tell you about the seaweed~ But my name is SeaweedMan~ I was the one who saved your life~”
“Ugh, your verbal tic is giving me a headache!”
“I know~ Also here is your deck~” SeaweedMan held Chazz’s deck in his seaweedy hands.
“What?!” Chazz, quick-as-a-fox, checked out his empty Duel Disk system. “You stole my deck!” Chazz screamed! “Give it back!”
“Okay~” SeaweedMan dropped his cards into a puddle of salt water, which normally shouldn’t be possible with Duel Monsters cards. “Whoops, that was just a puddle~”
“WAAAAAAGH!! THAT CRAPPY DECK COSTED ME FOURTY-TWO SMACKAROOS!! GIVE IT BACK!!”
“No~ But you can have this instead~” SeaweedMan tossed Chazz a new card: an Ojama Yellow, which had that creepy feller from before in a spotlight, with drool glistening all over his face. Yecch, its stats were only 0/1000 with no effect!
“Ew, he’s disgusting!” Chazz recoiled!
“But don’t you want that card~ It will help you defeat Jaden Yuki~”
“How do you know about him, and how will this… thing… help me any?” Chazz ordered!
“Um~ I actually don’t know, but it’s a lot better than your old crap-deck~”
“He’s gotcha there, yo!” Hallucinatory-Jaden agreed. “Your deck sucked!”
“Grrr… MY DECK DID NOT SUCK!!” Chazz screeched!
“Yes~ It did suck~”
“You’re right…” Chazz agreed. “…But I’ll beat him myself!”
“How could you possibly do that~”
“BECAUSE I’M RICH!!” Chazz challenged!
“Hmm~ You’re right~ Can’t argue with that~ Oh well, have fun in the ARCTIC CIRCLE~” SeaweedMan teleported away, causing the submarine or ship to explode, somehow!
“WOOOOOOOOOAH!!” Chazz screamed, shot up to the surface in a flash! He landed hard on a floating glacier. “Ow, glacier!” He looked around himself and saw, of all things, a giant duel-affiliated school! “Oh, just my luck!” Chazz grinned. “A building! I can call for help now! And I don’t even care about the fact that I’m in some random arctic area! That’s just how AWESOME I am…”

And around twenty minutes of hiking later, Chazz finally made it to that building, and he wasn’t could one bit, no-siree. Thank anime physics for that. The building was boring-looking, made up of a few stone towers stuck together with a drawbridge for a door, in order to keep the cyborg polar bears out. “Hey, open up!” Chazz ordered, slamming his fists on the door. “I’m Chazz! That means I’m allowed in! Don’t play stupid!”
“Oh, you can’t get in~” SeaweedMan was sitting near Chazz in front of a small fire! It kept him warm.
“Wha?! Why are YOU here?!”
“Because I can be~” SeaweedMan said.
“So, just why can’t Chazz Pinceton get in here?” Chazz challenged. “I mastered the CHAZZISAWESOMEENERGYBLAST myself, y’know.”
“Oh, well there are several Duel Monsters cards scattered all around the place~ You have to find forty in order to make a deck and gain admittance~ You already have one, so get hunting~”
“What the hell kinda test is THAT?!” Chazz demanded. “I mean, you have to find cards in ICE?! That’s FREAKING RETARDED!! No offense.”
“None taken~ Now go, young boy, and become a duelist~ Find your cards and reclaim your seat upon the throne of adequate duelists~”
“Hey, I’m not adequate!” Chazz said, feelings hurt. But SeaweedMan, lightning-quick, tore outta there with another one of his fancy teleportations. “Pssht. I’ll find those cards. And then… I will punch Jaden Yuki in the face.” And thus, Chazz began his epic tundra expedition.

He climbed up Mt. Bigtop in order to find his Giant Rat card. He used all of his CHAZZISAWESOMEENERGYBLAST’s powers to melt a Gyaku-Gire Panda and Ring of Destruction out of solid ice. He swam through frigid water in order to find some crazy-ass random card I couldn’t adequately see to describe.

And late that night in the middle of a snowstorm, he spotted his last card: Chaos End. But it was guarded by the fiercest beast of the ice: the cyborg polar bear. Its red eyes and robo-arm shined dangerously, giving off the royal air of the biggest threat in the area. But Chazz looked it straight in the eyes, and he said in the clearest voice he could: “What do you want? Depending on your answer, I’ll kick your ass.”

The bear looked at him for a moment and then proceeded to claw his ass up.

But hours later as the sun rose, it was made clear that Chazz was able to take the card behind the cyborg polar bear’s back, turn tail and run like a coward. But at least he had forty cards.

He stepped back to the drawbridge door and SeaweedMan once more, like the day before. “Oh, so you’re got all your cards, right~” SeaweedMan asked.
“Yeah, you seaweed-covered freak,” Chazz said.
“…”
“…”
“…~”
“So… now what?”
“Oh~ Just hold your deck in front of the door~”
“Uh. Okay.” Chazz did as the wise old freaky man told him to, and held his new crappy deck in front of the door. Lasers came outta nowhere in particular, causing Chazz to jump like a jackrabbit! “Waagh! Lasers?!” But then the lasers identified Chazz’s forty cards were in good order and stopped. With great clashin’ noises, the drawbridge fell on top o’ Chazz. Then he crawled out from under it. “Damn dumb door…” He walked inside the building and stopped in his tracks. In front of him were two figures, who could only be identified as…

MEANWHILE, AT THAT PLACE, ON THAT CHANNEL,
Jaden and his Slifer buddies were hangin’ out at the Slifer Toolshed, watchin’ the ‘tube. “And now back to Two and a Half Men,” the screen proclaimed. On the show were two people. One was normal-looking, while the other was grossly overweight.

They stared at it for a few minutes.

“OOOOOOH,” Syrus realized, “I get the joke!” He paused as everyone looked at him. “It’s not funny, though…”

Now back with that Chazz feller, the boy had entered the building only to find a deserted wild west-style town for whatever weird reason those guys had to build it, and two people. They were… “BILLY HILLS AND DEEP-VOICE DOBBSON?! WHAT ARE [u]YOU[/u] DOING HERE?!”
“Dobbson, it’s Chazz, I reckon!” Billy Hills exclaimed!
“Huh, Chazz, huh, I haven’t said that in a while!” Deep-Voice Dobbson laughed! They both ran up to Chazz to hug him, only to be shoved to the floor.
“What are you doing here, I asked,” he repeated.
“Oh, I reckon we were lookin’ ‘fer the bathroom after you left, and we got lost, I ‘spose.”
“We can’t do ANYTHING without YOU, huh, Chazz, huh! Plus, what’s worse, Chazz, huh, is that the people at THIS school are dumb bullies! Kinda like you, but dumber! We made our decks, but they won’t let us do anything until we beat fifty people in a row, huh, Chazz!”
“Step aside, guys, and watch the master at work, then,” Chazz ordered. He walked across the dusty trail until he approached a wooden building marked ‘Saloon’, with Billy Hills and Deep-Voice Dobbson trailing close behind. Walkin’ inside, he found several people dressed in fat, puffy coats drinkin’ children’s beer, playing poker, and listenin’ to the player piano. [i]This school is seriously screwed up,[/i] Chazz thought, scared for his own safety.

“Hey, who’s the sheriff of this stupid-ass town?” Chazz ordered! The player piano was silenced and everyone shut up. They turned to Chazz. “EEP!!” shrieked Billy Hills and Deep-Voice Dobbson, hiding behind Chazz.
“This ain’t no Wil’ West, y’all,” shouted one irritated guy with a Blue puffy coat and a down-home country accent, “there ain’t no sheriff! What’re you, stupid ‘r somethin’?”
“BWAAAAH HAHAHAAHAH!!” the crowd roared with laughter! Two windows shattered due to the mass amount of sound they produced.
“And then who’re you, bozo?”
“I’m the one who runs thing ‘round here, y’all,” the guy said as he stood up, removing his puffy jacket, and showing off his electric blue hair, “the name’s Jesse Anderson!”
“Who cares?”
“Wha?! I-I guess you ain’t never heard ‘a me ‘fore. I’m the top-ranked duelist at North ‘Cad’my!” Jesse explained.
“Like I said, who freaking cares? I’m number one!”
“Where?”
“I’m ranked the highest, and you’re the lowest,” Chazz laughed, “at the Chazz School of Hard-Shut-The-Hell-Ups!”
“And we’re number two, huh, reckon, huh!” Billy Hills and Deep-Voice Dobbson claimed.
“No, you’re sixty-fifth. So I heard there’s a fifty-man duel gauntlet? Start it now.” Chazz held out and turned on his Duel Disk like a pro. “I’ll kick your asses with this crappy deck in five seconds or less! Not literally of course!”

**********
[/spoiler][spoiler=Part Two]
Yu-Gi-Oh! GX! The Fan Fic
Episode 24: The New Chazz
Part Two

“Now go, KA-2 Des Scissors! Attack!” Chazz ordered, aimed at a robot crab with awesome scissor-pincers. (KA-2 Des Scissors: 1000 Attack Points) Guess how it attacked? It raised its mighty claws and spat out an anti-climactic poison gas from its mouth. How does THAT work, I wonder?
“AAAARGH, IT MAKES NO SENSE!!” cried the opponent, who fell to the floor in defeat.
(Filler Farnsworth: 0 Life Points, Game Over)
“That’s his 37th win today!” one guy gasped!
“I reckon that’s our Chazz, dudes!” Billy Hills shouted!
“HUH, CHAZZ, RULES!!” Deep-Voice Dobbson cheered!
“SHUT UP! YOUR VOICES ARE [u]STILL[/u] INFURIATING ME!!”
“U-uh, rush’m!” Jesse Anderson ordered! “All really, really, wimpy guys, rush’m, y’all!”
“OKAY!!”

“Uwuuuuh!!” grunted the first victim, incinerated in a blaze of fire.
“Ahh!”
“Ugh!”
“WAaAaAaAH!!”
“WOOOOOAH!!”
“Yeowch!”
“Mah EYEZ!!”
“Ow.” One by one in extreme fash-motion, all seven other really, really wimpy guys were knocked ou in a flash and comedically fell into a neat pile.

Staring at the handiwork that was physically and mentally impossible, as Deep-Voice Dobbson and Billy Hills cheered, the FINAL FOUR surrounding the now-panicked Jesse Anderson looked on ahead like he’d just done something MUCH more borin’ than beatin’ up eight guys without actually playing any visible card games with them. And these four were called… The Final Four. And I won’t describe them, as their names SHOULD be enough to clue you in on all they’re good for. “So he just beat all the wimps? So what?” asked Blue-Spike the Hairy.
“Yeah, it’s only a buncha’ useless bums, anyways!” joked Kidvoice.
“I bet you can’t beat US!” guessed Bighead Brawny.
“He won’t last two minutes!” laughed Wavy Hair Wilson.
“Psshaw,” Billy Hills sighed, “I reckon that you’re all so un-important that you had to be introduced by name-only, right?”
“Ulp!” they all gulped.
“If we don’t need to know what you really look like, then you actually suck, huh, chumps, huh?” mocked Deep-Voice Dobbson.
“Hey, I’m gonna take some pages from a few of your books,” Chazz decided, “and I think you all DO suck, as Billy said. And from Wavy Hair Wanker, I’m going to end ALL of our duels in under two minutes!”
“I am not a wanker! What IS that, anyway?!”
“All four of you! I’m taking you ALL on with my crappy, randomly-made deck at THE SAME TIME!!”
Instantly humiliated and wanting to salvage what awesomeness that they MIGHT’A ad in their reserves, The Final Four all stepped up at the same time, causing a neat-looking effect. “YOU’RE ON!!”

“I summon Marauding Captain!” Blue-Spike the Hairy said, as a blondie war hero appeared in neat knight armor.
“Yah!” he said. (Marauding Captain: 1200 Attack Points)
“And when he’s Normal Summoned to the field,” explained Blue-Spike the Hairy, “I can summon an additional monster from my hand, and plus he’s the only monster you can attack as long as he’s on the field! So I’ll just summon a SECOND captain and put YOU on LOCK-DOWN!”
“Yah!” copied a second Marauding Captain.
“Don’t copy me,” ordered the first one.
“Sorry,” the second one apologized.

“’Dis looks bad, boss,” Ojama Yellow worried, appearin’ suddenly and without any sort o’ warnin’ on Chazz’s shoulder.
“Shut up, useless character. You’re annoying.”

“We’re ALL un-creative,” the rest of The Final Four admitted, “so we’ll just copy him exactly!” And in a few seconds, there were eight captains on guard at the same time! How lazy were the writers for THIS episode’s script?
“What the hell kinda job are the writers doing on THIS episode’s script?!” Chazz demanded! Hey, that’s what [b]I[/b] just said! Amazin’!
“I reckon they’re just dumb and do whatever works!” Billy Hills guessed.
[i]Ugh, how did he know?[/i] The Final Four thought.
“I’ll just set two cards face-down and summon Giant Rat in Defense Mode!” Chazz announced. He now had a large blue rat with a human skull in its paw! How creepy! (Giant Rat: 1450 Defense Points)
“Hey, that guy’s dumber than OUR combo!” Wavy Hair Wilson chuckled.
“Maybe,” Chazz said, “but you know, it was the only thing I could find. In the ARCTIC. Because of your RETARDED initiation test. Seriously, that cyborg polar bear could’ve killed me! How do you expect to make up for that?! You force me to find trading cards and then I have to beat fifty guys with a lame-ass deck? Here’s how you guys made up for it: by having even crappier-ass decks.”
“What?!”
“Well, why else would you ALL LOSE TO ME?”
“No, I mean what made you think this was the arctic, y’all?” asked Jesse Anderson. “This is North Academy, in South Georgia, U.S.A.”
“…[b]WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!!?[/b]” Chazz roared, not unlike Godzilla or somethin’ like him! “HOW IS THIS PLACE IN SOUTH GEORGIA?!”
“Well, duh, how ELSE do I get my down-home country accent in the dub?”
“He’s got a good point, boss!” Ojama Yellow butted in, with his disgustin’ theme music. Somebody stop it, please.
“SHUT UP!” Chazz yelled, smackin’ him in the kisser.
“Ow, boss! You sure are a sadist!”
“Yes, yes I am!”
“Hey Chazz,” Billy Hills said, “I reckon you shouldn’t hit him ALL the time!”
“But his theme music is somehow disturbing!” Chazz reasoned.
“Good point, huh, Chazz, huh, but Ojama Yellow’s cool!” Deep-Voice Dobbson said.
“Y’really think so?” Ojama Yellow asked, teary-eyed. “Aw yeah, boyz!” They all did a three-way hi-five!
“Look, I’ll stop hitting you if you stop that IRRITATING theme song!” Chazz decided.
“Okay, boss!” Ojama Yellow’s song thankfully ended right then and there.

“I don’t care WHOSE theme song it is, you’re goin’ DOWN, CLOWN!” rhymed Blue-Spike the Hairy. “I play The Allied Forces!” A card featuring warrior heroes takin’ down some bad guys appeared! “All Warriors gain 200 Attack Points for every other Warrior-type monster on the field, so you know what that means!” The several Marauding Captains leaped up in cheer! (Marauding Captains: 2800 Attack Points)
“HUZZAH!!” They went on the offensive, slicin’ and carvin’ up that Giant Rat.
“Thanks for activating Giant Rat’s special ability, when killed I can summon an Earth-attribute monster with 1500 or less from my deck!” Chazz summoned an angry panda bear at that moment, because he knew it was the smart thing to do.
“RAWR!!” he growled, as he bent a rod of bamboo in half menacingly! (Gyaku-Gire Panda: 800 Attack Points)
“Gulp, he broke bamboo!” gulped Bighead Brawny. “Uh, but still, attack stupidly!” The seven captains who didn’t carve up the rat shrugged and lunged at Chazz!

“You really ARE idiots!” Chazz laughed! “My Gyaku-Gire Panda gains 500 Attack Points for every monster my opponent has on the field!” The panda suddenly grew, as if he’d ingested steroids! (Gyaku-Gire Panda: 4800 Attack Points)
“Hmph!” Kidvoice grunted! “If you all attack together, you can take him down!!”
“Do you even know how Duel Monsters works, huh, Kidvoice, huh?!” Deep-Voice Dobbson asked, confused!
“NO!!” shouted The Final Four, all in unison! “GOOOOOO!!” One Marauding Captain hacked at the panda with his mighty blade, but was clawed in the face, exploding. (The Final Four: 14800 Life Points) The second one hit him with his sword’s hilt, but it bounced back, slicing his head, exploding him. (The Final Four: 13600 Life Points) The third one, however, was sneaky. He pulled out a revolver! Sadly, he was a true-blue swordsman, and didn’t realize that his gun was held backwards. He pulled the trigger, exploding him. (The Final Four: 12400 Life Points) Then the fourth one decided, ‘hey, what the hell are we all doing? We should run for it, we can’t do it!’, and turned tail and ran. Then Gyaku-Gire Panda threw the fifth victim at the runner, exploding them. (The Final Four: 10000 Life Points) The last two decided that two heads and swords are better’n one, and prepared for the best tag team attack ever performed: the Twin-Kick Double Flippy Cut—Swan. They missed, exploding them. (The Final Four: 7600 Life Points, which leads up to about 1900 Life Points left each)

“Hey,” gasped Blue-Spike the Hairy.
“Why didn’t,” wondered Kidvoice.
“Their Attack Points,” added Bighead Brawny.
“Change?!” exclaimed Wavy Hair Wilson.
“Of course, you idiots,” Chazz explained, “it’s because YOU ALL ATTACKED SIMULTANEOUSLY. Man, do you even know how to duel?!” Also the panda shrunk. (Gyaku-Gire Panda: 800 Attack Points)
“No, I reckon!” Billy Hills said snarkily.
“Aw yeah!” Chazz, Deep-Voice Dobbson and Ojama Yellow all hi-fived him.
“Anyways, my turn, right?”
“Uh yeah sure whatever.”
“Thanks for simultaneously ending three players’ turns for me!” Chazz gloated! “I’ll use the card Chazz Wins the Duel in THIS Episode!” A Spell card with a picture of Chazz’s smug face appeared, grew a fist, and punched out all the opponents. They flew into the helpful pile from earlier. “This card automatically F’S ALL OF YOU PUNKS!!”
“Ooh, naughty word, huh, COOL GUY, huh!”
“Thanks. Now, you.” Chazz pointed to Jesse Anderson, who was now quakin’ in his boots and puffy Blue coat.
“That card… it’s not real, y’all!”
“It saved us a lot of writing time thanks to that stupid Marauding Captains scene, but it was funny, so it was worth it!!” explained Chazz.
“Uh, o…okay?” Jesse Anderson sheepishly stepped out from the shadows and faced Chazz like a man. A real wimpy man. “Eh, duel?”
(Jess: 4000 Life Points, Chazz: 4000 Life Points)
“Hmm, I REALLY wish I brought mah’ Crystal Beast deck, but I’ll just make due with this…”
“STOP MAKING REFERENCES TO THE FUTURE!!”
“Yeep! I activate two copies of Fiend’s Sanctuary!” Two cool bubbly mean token monsters appeared! “Then I sacrifice both of ‘em for this here Zoa!” An ugly blue guy with dumb horns and spines placed randomly around his body appeared!
“GRR!!” Zoa growled. (Zoa: 2600 Attack Points)
“Next I set two mo’ cards face-down, and I’ll call it a turn, y’all,” Jesse decided, placing two Spells/Traps onto the field.

“C’mon, Chazz, I reckon you ‘kin do it!” Billy Hills supported!
“I was going to say that before he did, huh!” Deep-Voice Dobbson reported!
“Okay, draw!” announced Chazz, drawing. He drew Ojama Yellow. “[u]Hell[/u] no!”
“Heck [u]yes[/u], Boss!” Ojama Yellow said, thankfully without that accursed theme music.
“I said, HELL NO!! DIE!” Chazz summoned Ojama Yellow in Defense Mode.
“Aw, man!” Ojama Yellow whined. (Ojama Yellow: 1000 Defense Points) Chazz also set down two Traps.
“You got’m on da’ ropes, huh!” Deep-Voice Dobbson shouted.
“Ojama Yellow ‘kin do it too, I reckon!”
“No he can’t!”
“I reckon, aw.”

“Hahahaha, y’all, that is ONE stupid card!” Jesse laughed.
“You’re an idiot! I’ve done this like four times today! You should know what these face-downs are!”
“I don’t care! Yer’ possibly goin’ down! I can’t let Georgia down like this! I play mah face-down: Metalmorph!” A Trap card of a creepy robot man appeared, solidifying Zoa in metal goop! (Zoa: 2900 Attack Points) “Next, now I can tribute my Zoa, since I have Metalmorph, to summon METAL ZOA!!” Zoa turned into a robot man himself. (Metal Zoa: 3000 Attack Points) Now, I’m sure that many of you consider that turn to be useless. I reckon you’re right. “It is NOT useless! I play my OTHER Trap card, Call of the Haunted, to bring back mah ORIGINAL Zoa!” And so in a haze of creepy smoke, original flavor Zoa appeared. Heh, original flavor! Man, I’m funny.
“Ha! You’re screwed! You’re gonna ,lose!” Hallucinatory-Jaden laughed!
“Shut up, and DIE, HALLUCINATORY KID!!” Jesse raged! “Zoa, use SHINY LASER X-ATTACK!!” Zoa’s horns turned bright green, and then they shot out a big X-shaped laser beam! How random is THAT?! Ojama Yellow was hit and exploded.
“Ow!!” cried Ojama Yellow.
“OJAMA YELLOW, HUH, I RECKON, HUH!!” screamed Those Two.
“Now, Metal Zoa, use [b]ROBOT[/b] SHINY LASER X-ATTACK!!” Jesse’s robot guy fired a ROBOTIC X-shaped laser at Chazz, and it connected.
“Ow,” Chazz said. (Chazz: 1000 Life Points) “Crap! Crap crap crap…” Chazz sniffled a bit and put his head down.
“Aw, whassa matter, kid?” Jesse mocked. “Are ya’ doin’ the thing JADEN did in the first few episodes.
Together with the power of him and his friends, Chazz, Deep-Voice Dobbson and Billy Hills all responded: [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HXXBEbpJous] “[b][i][u]HUH, YES, I RECKON SO, HUH!!![/u][/i][/b]” [/url]
“E-eh?! What’s up with this… ‘doom-y’ music?” Jesse asked, feeling scared.
“I activate the card, Inferno Tempest!!” Chazz’s face-down card, which was not a Trap, flipped face-up, showing an army of men facing down a massive, flamin’ meteor comin’ straight for them. “This card can be activated when I take 3000 or more damage from one attack! And since I just have, all monsters in our decks are removed from play!”
“What’s the point?” Jesse asked.
“You’ll see.” Both kids haphazardly threw their tradin’ cards onto the floor, signifyin’ that they were removed from the game. “Now, I’m about to take over your title as… what’s your title?”
“Super Game-King.”
“I’m about to become that and take over this school, right now! I play Chaos End!” Chazz played a card featurin’ a tiki head or tree of some sort, and the end of the world. “If I have at least seven cards removed from play, your monsters are destroyed.”
“Yeah, huh!” cheered Deep-Voice Dobbson.
Both versions of Zoa turned all crackly and stuff, and broke into a bunch of pieces. “Aw, crap,” Jesse cursed, realizing how much he was about to lose.
“Next, my second Trap card: Return From the Different Dimension!” It was a card with a warrior lady, a flying rat, a lion-man hybrid manticore, warrior man, and giant orca base of operations. (Chazz: 500 Life Points) “I pay half of my Life Points in order to summon all the removed from play monsters I choose!” A massive storm started brewin’ above, which meant so crazy stuff was ‘bout to go down. Two angry masked demons, a fighter who fights with discs, a skull knight who never got top billing, the robot crab from before, and Ojama Yellow all descended like angels, ugly, ugly angels.
“I’m back, baby!” Ojama Yellow growled!
“Attack, all of you! Ojama Yellow! Gemini Imps, Disc Fighter, Skull Knight #2, and KA-2 Des Scissors!” Ojama Yellow floated over and slapped Jesse Anderson in the face.
“Ungh!” Ojama Yellow grunted, doing no damage. Then the Gemini Imps pushed their claws through Jesse’s heart and brain, Disc Fighter’s discs were thrown and cut through his arms, Skull Knight #2 swung his sword through Jesse vertically, and the crab-bot snipped at his finger.
“AAAAAAHH, MY FINGER!!” Jesse cried, but it was only an illusion, and he was okay. “… Aw, damn holograms!” (Jesse: 0 Life Points, Game Over)
“YEW DID IT, HUH, CHAZZ, I RECKON!!” shouted Billy Hills and Deep-Voice Dobbson!
“Was there any doubt?” Chazz asked, full of himself.
“Eh~ yes~” said somebody. It was SeaweedMan!
“Aw, not you again!” Chazz complained!
“Oh dangit, the PRINCIPAL saw us all lose!” Jesse whined, running away and jumping on top of the pile of defeated duelists.
“Yes~ It’s me again~ SeaweedMan~” SeaweedMan said, for those of you who did not get it.

“Why’s he covered in sea weed, I reckon?” Billy Hills asked innocently.
“Because I drew Chazz all the way over to the Southern United States to put his major plan into action~”
“What are you talkin’ about?” Chazz asked not-innocently.
“Don’t you want to take over the world~ Of dueling~ Also take these coats and wear them~” SeaweedMan tossed Chazz, Billy Hills, and Deep-Voice Dobbson fashionable black coats.
“Oh, thanks.” They put them on. “But why would I?”
“Order some kid around~”
“Oh, okay.” Chazz turned to one kid he beat earlier. “Get me a thing.”
“Uh, okay, Super Game-King Chazz!” The kid ran away and got Chazz a plushie in the shape of the number ‘2’.
“Hey, that was kinda fun!” Chazz thought.
“So~ What would you tell people to do if you could control every duelist in the world~?” SeaweedMan challenged.
“Hmm…” Chazz had a vision.

[i]”WAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!” he laughed, sitting upon a throne of flames! “ALL OF YOU, GIVE ME A THING! MUHUHAHAHAHAHA!!” And as he laughed maniacally, he was quickly covered in new ‘2’ plushies given by the entire world.[/i]

“Hmm… I like it. But just who are you, anyways?”
“Give me a moment for the drama~ You, Chazz, are now the strongest duelist in all of southern Georgia~ Now you are going to represent North Academy against Japan’s Kaibaland Duel Academy~ If you win, we gain control of the most major Japanese dueling school in the world of Japan~ After that, you can raise your own army of duelists to take over the next school, and then the next~ Soon enough, you’ll have big enough of a fighting force that REGULAR armies will bow down to you~ And then, after the world falls… I can have all the ice cream I could eat~”
“You’re just in it for the ice cream?” Chazz asked.
“Yes~ At least you can do whatever you want with everything else in the known universe, so you have nothing to lose~”
“Hmm…” Chazz turned to his friends. “Well, if I win, we get Duel Academy Japan. If I lose, then they get us. What do you think, you two?”
“I reckon do it.”
“Huh, yeah, huh.”
“Okay.” Chazz turned back to SeaweedMan. “Now, remove your sea weed and I’ll tell you my descision.
“Alright, but you’ll be shocked~” SeaweedMan took off his sea weed… and had more underneath. “That’s all there is to it, sea weed~”
“Oh, well that’s a rip-off. Let’s take over the world!” But SeaweedMan turned around from Chazz.

“Are you sure that you’re ready~ You’ll have to face the strongest duelist of Kaibaland Duel Academy, and he’s probably going to be someone you know~”
“The strongest, huh?” Chazz thought. Hallucinatory-Jaden appeared again.
“Hey, I’m gonna beat you up!” Hallucinatory-Jaden joked. “Just kidding, you lost to Bastion and want to kill him now, right?”
“Yeah,” Hallucinatory-Bastion said, “I’m a-gonna bust you up again, sucka!”
“I think I know who it is, and I have a bone to pick with him,” Chazz sighed. “So this means that now I have a fifty-man fighting force under me, and I get to fight my self-chosen rival? Perfect.”
“And the way you put it, you lost to him~”
“WHAT?!” Chazz roared, angry that anybody would think of him as a loser.
“You have a ‘bone to pick’~ In this universe, that means you want a re-match~ You were obvious~ But you can lead them all to vicory~” SeaweedMan pointed to the fifty kids who were now surrounding Chazz, bowin’ to him like a golden statue of gold.
“We are not worthy… we are not worthy…” they chanted.
“This is gettin’ a lil’ WEIRD, I RECKON!!” Billy Hills freaked out!
“ALL OF YOU LOW-LIFES, LISTEN UP!!” Chazz shouted! “I WILL BE THE ONE TO FINALLY DEFEAT THE ANNOYANCE THAT IS BASTION MISAWA! AND THEN NOBODY SHALL BE ABLE TO DEFEAT ME, FOR I WILL BE [b]INVINCIBLE[/b]!!!”
“YEEEEEEAH!!” shouted the fifty worshippers!
“Psst, hey Billy, huh,” Deep-Voice Dobbson whispered, “does that make sense?”
“Naw,” Billy Hills responded, “but I reckon the duelist he’s gonna duel is Jaden Yuki, but at least now we all have cool coats.”
“Not me,” Ojama Yellow sobbed, because he didn’t get a cool black coat. But nobody seemed to care, because now Chazz was as hell-bent on world devastation as his brothers, who were big jerks.
“WATCH OUT, MISAWA! HAAAAAHAHAHAHAAH!!”

And that. Is the story. Of what Chazz. Was doing. When he was gone. The end.
[/spoiler][/spoiler]

[Kaisu]

Today is Sunday... xD

 

For me, at least. I"ll read it..

[Des ＨＥＲＯ]

Lol good as always.

[Weather Report - Stand]

Okay, never mind, it's done today!

[ThatPhantomGuy]

Aha ha ha! You can never get enough of Chazz... I reckon'.

[Des ＨＥＲＯ]

Lol Jesse Anderson without his crystal beasts.

[Weather Report - Stand]

Yep, DHero (not destiny), Jesse WAS the best duelist from North Academy, but he SURE was a wimp without that Carbuncle-Dude, ha ha ha...

 

And to ThatPhantomGuy, I'm DIGGIN' that siggie! I'm also happy that people still like Deep-Voice Dobbson and Billy Hills... for whatever reason.

 

This next episode will be a two-parter, so give me a few days leeway for posting, please. You will be shocked! Heart-broken! And by the end of it, you'll feel like your mind was raped by the sheer stupidity! DON'T MISS IT!! Unless, y'know, you have an appointment or something.

[Des ＨＥＲＯ]

Ill not miss it, sound's like somethings going to happen to Jaden in the duel.Oh maybe Bastion.

[Weather Report - Stand]

Well, judging by the fact that it's about Chazz...

[Weather Report - Stand]

This is part one.

 

[spoiler=Episode 25: The School Duel - Part One]Yu-Gi-Oh! GX! The Fan Fic

Episode 25: The School Duel – Part One

 

We open to the deepest, darkest, coldest parts of Southern Georgia one night in the snowy mountains, as we all know how much snow we have there, all the time, in an Old West-y base of operations. Fires were set all around the inside of the base. As we pan in closer, we see Chazz Princeton, standing on a statue of himself. “NOW, WHO’S GOING TO WIN TOMORROW?!” he asked the crowd of students , adoring him far below in the light of the bonfires.

“CHAZZ!!” they thunderously responded.

“WHO’S GOING TO BEAT EVERYONE?!” Chazz asked again.

“CHAZZ!!” they told him.

“AND,” SeaweedMan asked, standing next to Chazz, “WHO OF YOU THINKS THAT CHAZZ IS NOW WORTHY OF THIS SCHOOL’S MOST PRIZED DECK~”

“AAAAAAAAAAYE!!!” the kids said. SeaweedMan gave Chazz a special deck.

“Chazz, this deck holds all of my hopes and dreams~ Of ice cream~ This deck will always be a symbol of Georgia, the peach state of the union, which will soon encompass the earth under your rule~”

“I always thought it was the PEANUT state!” Chazz gasped!

“It CAN be when you RULE THE WORLD~”

“YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!” the crowd supported

“I AM THE BEST!!” Chazz screamed to the heavens! “WAAAAH, HAHAHAHAHAHA!!” And he and the audience were as one, massive, globe-conquering mob. Meanwhile, in the saloon, Billy Hills and Deep-Voice Dobbson watched this all unfold from a window, drinking their nice, cool mugs of Budwisser-brand milk.

“I reckon I remember when he didn’t even know HOW to rule the world,” Billy Hills reminisced.

“I’m so proud of him, huh, Billy, huh,” said Deep-Voice Dobbson. They clinked their plastic mugs together in agreement.

 

“CHAZZ!! CHAZZ!! CHAZZ!!” the crowd chanted, repeatedly showing their reverence to their false idol.

“CHAZZ IS LIFE!!” one kid screamed!

“DUEL ACADEMY IS MINE!! THE STUDENTS WILL BECOME LIKE YOU, ALL SET STRAIGHT UPON THE PATH OF CHAZZ!! ALL THOSE WHO DISAGREE WILL BURN IN THE FIREY PITS OF REPENTANCE!! AND NOW, WHO IS WITH ME?”

“WE ARE!!!!” shouted the audience. They began working their way around bonfires and struggling to climb up the statue of Chazz to get to Chazz. “PLEASE, SAFEGUARD US!!” they begged! “DON’T LET ANYBODY ELSE LOOK DOWN UPON US EVER AGAIN, EXCEPT FOR YOU, THE ONLY REAL POWER LEFT IN THE UNIVERSE!! PLEASE, PROTECT US!!”

“This is what TRUE power feels like!” Chazz laughed! “IT’S TIME TO GET WHAT I DESERVE!!”

 

Meanwhile on DUEL ACADEMY ISLAND, Jaden was busy in the Duel Dome summoning Burstinatrix! “I SUMMON BURSTINATRIX!!” Jaden yelled! He summoned Burstinatrix. She flew around the camera in an irritating fashion before standing there, like a good Burstinatrix should.

“Hoo-yah!” she said, as usual. (Burstinatrix: 1200 Attack Points)

“Then I summon Clayman!” Clayman appeared. (Clayman: 800 Attack Points) “And Sparkman!” Sparkman appeared. (Sparkman: 1600 Attack Points) “Aaaaaand… Bubbleman!” Bubbleman appeared.

“What about me?” asked Avian, appearing without being asked to.

“Go away, I didn’t summon you, yo.”

“Aw…” Avian left with a thousand tears.

“And with THESE four awesome monsters, I’ll DEFINITELY beat that NORTH ACADMEY BUMPKIN!!”

“Um, Jay, we were in a duel,” Syrus said, with his weird helicopter-train on the field. “Also you cheated.”

“WHO CARES ATTACK!!” All four of his monsters attacked directly, cheating and winning the duel. (Syrus: 0 Life Points, Game Over)

“Aw man, you always do that to me. Not really, but all times after episode seven of something.”

“Who cares, Syrus!” Mann McOldsmobile asked rudely, entering the scene! “You guys, hurry! They’re having the ‘Welcome North Academy Bumpkins’ meet-and-greet!”

“Who cares about THAT, yo?”

“THEY HAVE SNACKS.”

 

And with that, the four teleported to the docks, where everybody was waiting for people to board off of a submarine that had pulled onto the pier. There was also a small snack table, but Koala Ko Ala already ate everything before going back to him room to sleep. SeaweedMan had stepped off of the submarine-docking system and onto the scene with some kids. He shook hands with Chancellor Shepherd.

“Hello, Shepherd~ Remember our bet~” asked SeaweedMan.

“Why yes, you sea weed-covered man, I do,” Shepherd said, as if it were a good joke. “And now, let’s see who you’ve chosen to fight for you THIS year—”

“YOOOOO!!” Jaden shouted, getting in the way. “The snack table got jacked, so now all I wanna do is see who I’m duelin’ for this ‘school dool’ thing. Don’t tell me no, ‘cause I’ve had TOO MUCH disappointment today.”

“It’s me!”

“Huh?” Jaden looked around. He saw the group of cool black-coats, made up of Chazz, Billy Hills, Deep-Voice Dobbson, and Kidvoice, as everybody loves him. “Hmm…” Jaden looked closely at Jesse Anderson. “Are you going to become an important character soon enough, yo?”

“In two years, after I get mah signature ‘Crystal Beast’ deck, y’all,” Jesse said.

“Oh, cool!”

“No, THAT’S not your opponent.” Jaden turned to Billy Hills, who was wearing his fashionable coat.

“Woah! What a snazzy coat!” Jaden complimented.

“NOT THE COAT.”

“Billy Hills?”

“NO!!”

“Deep-Voice Dobbson?”

“NO!!” Chazz punched Jaden in the face. “CHAZZ PRINCETON, N00B!!”

“Ow! Hey, I remember you!” Jaden exclaimed! “You’re… Zazz, right?”

“CHAZZ!!”

“Ooooh, Chazz, Chazz, I remember now,” Jaden remembered. “I thought you were going to take over the world with your brothers! When’d you go to Georgia?”

“WHEN I FELT LIKE IT!!”

“You tryin’ to give Chazz trouble?” Kidvoice asked sternly, in his kid-voice.

“Uh, no, I just forgot who Chazz was.”

“YOU FORGOT CHAZZ?!” Jesse gasped! “I can’t BE-LIEVE IT!! YOU CAN’T JUST GO ‘ROUND, FORGETTIN’ CHAZZ!!”

“Save it,” Chazz ordered, “and get me Misawa. There’s no way he COULDN’T be the guy I’m supposed to duel today.”

“No, actually we had a tie match, and that let me fight you,” Jaden explained.

“You… TOOK OVER THE SPOT OF MY ETERNAL RIVAAAAAAL?!?!” Chazz screamed! “KILL HIM!!” Kidvoice and Jesse started choking Jaden!

“Ow, this kinda hurts!”

“Shouldn’t you tell them to stop~” asked SeaweedMan.

“No,” Shepherd responded, “you know our killing people policy. It’s okay here. As long as it saves money.”

 

Suddenly helicopters descended from the sky, blowing Kidvoice and Jesse away! “Saved by ‘da bell, yo!” Jaden joked…? The helicopters landed on some unlucky idiots, and out of their doors came Zazz and Slade Princeton!

“Hi, little brother!” Slade welcomed in his irritating voice! “How are you doing? We are FINE.”

“Ugh, not them!” Chazz gulped! “Zazz, with his noogies of pain and suffering, and Slade, with the voice an adult would only use when talking to a two year-old! They REALLY irritate me…”

“Come on, lil’ bro, don’t introduce us like that!” Slade suggested. “Please, we just want to help you!”

“Help me HOW?” The two brothers walked up to Chazz and placed their hands on his shoulders.

“You want to rule the world by yourself, huh?” Zazz asked, with his square-ish hair. “We can respect that!”

“Really?” As soon as Chazz had asked, the entire island was covered in cables and film equipment. “Uh…”

 

“Cool!” Jaden’s face was getting squished because a man was pushing his camera at him. “What’s up with this?”

“We’re going to be broadcasting Chazz’s victory all over the entire world, in order to tell EVERYONE: Yo! Don’t mess with Chazz! He’ll eat you and rape your dog!” Zazz explained graphically.

“D-don’t say that last part, bro…”

“NO WAY!” Jaden exclaimed, as dozens of copies of his face were seen inside of the nearby TV van, to the editors’ horror. “ME ON TV?! PEOPLE WILL SEE ME EVERYWHERE AROUND THE WORLD?!”

 

“IN HI-DEF?!” he asked, as his face appeared in Times Square, New York, causing mass panic and hysteria.

 

“FULL-COLOR?!” he asked, as his face appeared inside of a cinema, interrupting a movie, and making the audience suffer heart attacks.

 

Soon enough, later on in a locker room, Chazz sat with his brothers on a bench. “So, really, what’s the deal?” he asked.

“We’re really just trying to help you,” Zazz explained, “SeaweedMan told us about your domination and subsequent take-over of everybody in North Academy, and we believe that if you got THOSE stupid kids under your command, what about the REST of the world?”

“You guys would NEVER support me and my endeavors!” Chazz said. “I know you people.”

“Well,” Slade said, “after we realized that it’s both impossible to own all the money in the world OR become the President or Prime Minister of every country in the world, we decided that you taking over Duel Monsters would be the best bet.”

“LOOK!!” shouted Zazz, slamming his fists on the bench! “You tried running away from your duty of ruling Duel Academy when you dropped out! What made you think that you could get away with it?!”

“But you both really didn’t care when that happened!”

“WE’RE STUPID!!” the older Princeton bros. shouted in unison!

“See, lil’ bro, you’re not ALLOWED to run away anymore,” Slade said, taking over again. “You, the smallest Princeton brother, aren’t allowed to give up as easily as you already have. Here.” He gave a stunned Chazz a briefcase full of trading cards! “These are the most expensive, shiniest Duel Monster cards we could buy! You CAN’T lose with these, unless you really are a WORTHLESS DUELIST. Go ahead, use them today.”

Damn it, Chazz thought, stressed, that voice is really scary when he’s being malicious.

“Now duel and win, Chazz, and take over this stupid world,” Zazz ordered. Chazz sheepishly picked up the case and walked out the door with them. Outside he met up with Deep-Voice Dobbson and Billy Hills.

“Hey, Chazz, I reckon you’re ready?” Billy Hills asked.

“Yeah, yeah, let’s go,” Chazz sighed.

 

The trio walked through the halls, without incident, until they passed by Bastion, Baseball Bob, Piggybank, and Fluffy Fred. “Bastiooooon~” Piggybank said in her cutest voice, wiggling her piggy ears, “are you sure you know where you left it? I NEED it.”

“Don’t worry Piggybank,” Bastion urged, sweating profusely, “it’s right on my bed! I know for sure… oh, hey Chazz. Nice coat.” Chazz and his two friends turned to them all.

“What’s wrong, KID?” Fluffy Fred asked, putting on his best “yakuza” face. “Keep walkin’, he just complimented ya’ on your matchin’ coats. Keep movin’.”

“Fred, they aren’t doing anything,” Baseball Bob said.

“Well… what if they DO?!”

“Bastion,” Chazz said.

“What?” asked all four members of the Bastion Baseball Wreckers Gang.

“…Nice pin.” Chazz and his two guys walked away from Bastion and his ‘Baseball King’ pin.

 

“Oh, Misawa, my apprentice!” Crowler gasped, running up to Bastion. “What are you doing out here? You should be inside the Duel Dome, trying to figure out some OTHER way to defeat Jaden YUCKY without killing him, almost like last time!”

What? Is that?!

“Oh, sorry, Crowler,” Bastion responded, “but I need to get Piggybank’s lucky silver dollar. The science of memory says that ‘if you saw something fall somewhere then you know that it’s there’! It’s basic psychology!”

“Ugh, do you REALLY have to do everything everyone asks of you now that you’re an Obelisk?”

“Well, yeah.”

“Fine, fine, just hurry up. Oh, hello, Chazz,” greeted Crowler as it rushed past Chazz and towards the Duel Dome. Both remaining parties went in different directions.

“Hey, Chazz,” Billy Hills said, shocked, “I reckon that was yer’ mom! She just flat-out ignored you, I reckon!”

“We should give her a piece of our collective minds, huh, Chazz, huh!” suggested Deep-Voice Dobbson!

 

A couple of tears fell onto the recently-mopped floors. “Shut up, you two,” Chazz ordered coldly. “Let’s just go.”

“Yo, Chazz, what’s wrong?” asked Jaden, as he ran by, turned back, and stood near Chazz out of concern.

“STAY OUT OF THIS.” Chazz pushed Jaden away in fury!

“Well, okay, yo, but get better, ‘kay? We gotta match, so don’t let feeble emotions cloud your judgment!” Jaden ran off for fun and adventure, as Chazz felt a deep humiliation.

 

As that happened, inside the locker room, Zazz and Slade were jumping up and down with excitement! “Boy, this couldn’t have gone better if we’d PLANNED it!” Slade cheered!

“I know, right?” Zazz asked rhetorically! “It’ll probably take just a few weeks for the rest of the dueling world to submit to Chazz once they see his absolute victory over some ‘Yu’ kid, and a few weeks after that for Chazz to gain their dominance! Then we just run up to him and noogie him until he gives it all to us!”

“Then we take over everything without even having to raise a finger!!” Slade laughed!

“BEST DAY EVER!!”

 

Chazz with his briefcase and two friends entered the Duel Dome to the delight of several hundred cheering students. “WOOOOO, A DUELIST!!” they shouted!

“Alright, all of you,” said an annoying director with a loudspeaker, “smile! Smile for the camera, everybody can see you! Make them think you’re not mentally screwed up in the least!”

“Heh heh heh,” cruelly laughed the camera man, who used his movie camera to take some close-ups of a boy picking his nose. He was seen by the entire world, and would go on to become the internet meme, ‘Nose-Picking Nerd’.

“CHAZZ IS LIFE!!” shouted the North Academy group, taking over a large section of the seating with their puffy coats. “CHAZZ IS LOVE!! CHAZZ IS ALL!!”

“Uh, okay,” said a kid from Duel Academy.

“So, SeaweedMan,” Shepherd said, in the teacher’s seating area, “we’re clear on the bet this year?”

“Of course~ I’m looking forward to taking this school for my own~ Southern Georgia is too cold for me~”

“And you had BETTER give me what I want when we win,” Shepherd grinned with a growl. “Jaden won’t be losing today, he has ‘Yu’ in his name!”

“What does that have to do with it~” asked SeaweedMan.

“I dunno, it just kinda works,” supposed Shepherd.

 

“So Jay,” Syrus asked, near the bottom of the stage with Jaden, Koala Ko Ala, and Mann McOldsmobile, “you’re fighting your rival in the match of the year to date. How do you feel?”

“Meh.”

“M-m-m-MEH?!” Syrus repeated.

“Yeah, meh.”

“Dude, you’re usually sayin’ ‘gonna get mah game on, yo! Watch out, yo, ‘cuz I’m psyched, yo’!” Koala Ko Ala stated.

“I’ve only known you for a few days, and even I know that,” Mann McOldsmobile said.

“Well, yeah, but Chazz is kinda… hey, why didn’t that duck say ‘boo’ to Koala Ko Ala?” Jaden asked.

“What duck?”

“The one we met in episode four.” Jaden pointed off-screen. We pan in on a duck. “Watch: get your game on—”

“BOO,” someone said. And we ALL know who SOMEONE is.

“Ha ha ha ha, that’s hi-larious!” Mann McOldsmobile laughed!

“Not when it happens every day,” Syrus sy-ed.

“Who cares?” Koala Ko Ala asked. “Get on in there!” He pushed Jaden on-stage.

“Woah!”

 

“And now, Mr. SeaweedMan over here is about to start the match!” Chancellor Shepherd shouted over the microphone! The kids cheered.

“Hello~ I’m Principal SeaweedMan~ Because in America, we have more Principals that Chancellors~ Now, we’re going to have a big duel here today~ So everybody get ready~”

“Okay okay that’s enough,” Shepherd groaned, quickly snatching the mic from SeaweedMan. “Now, Dr. Crowler, will you please introduce these duelists whom we already know of?”

“Oh, okay,” it complied, running onto the stage. “On this side, the right side, is Chazz Princeton!” Crowler introduced, as the Chazz-meister himself walked on-stage.

“CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZZZZZZZZZ!!” said the North Academy duelists, who were quite hot and sweaty in their puffy coats, and frankly uncomfortable.

“And over on this side,” Crowler shouted, pointing to Jaden Yuki, “is that Jaden kid.”

“Yo, everybo—”

“Now hold on just a minute, I’m gonna let you finish, but BASTION MISAWA IS ONE OF THE BEST DUELISTS OF ALL TIME! He should be up there, and not YOU! Okay, duel.” Crowler rushed off the stage.

“DUEL!!” (Jaden: 4000 Life Points, Chazz: 4000 Life Points)

 

“Okay!” Jaden shouted! “I’m starting THIS one off with INSPIRATIONAL music!” Jaden drew his card, and—

“Stop right there!” ordered Chazz! He looked at the camera that some camera guy was practically shoving into his face. “Now see here, everybody! You Duel Academy kids may think, ‘oh, that’s just Chazz, he’s okay at dueling, but he’s still useless’.”

“I never thought that, huh, Chazz, huh!”

“Me neither, I reckon!”

“I’M NOT TALKING TO YOU!! You who have forsaken me, I have returned, from America! And look at North Academy!” Chazz moved out of the way and pointed the camera to the North Academy students, who were all wearing Chazz wigs. “They are moved by me! They worship me! All of you, proclaim your worship!!”

“He’s gonna Chazz you up, Jaden!” a guy promised!

“Chazz it up!” one guy shouted.

“Chazz it up!” a girl shouted.

“CHAZZ IT UP!! CHAZZ IT UP!!” The entire audience had caught on!

“SAY IT AGAIN!!” Chazz ordered!

“CHAZZ IT UP! CHAZZ IT UP! CHAZZ IT UP!”

“Okay, that’s enough.”

“CHAZZ IT UP! CHAZZ IT UP!”

“STOP.”

“OKAY!!”

“What a cult,” Alexis groaned.

“WE LOVE YOU CHAZZ!!”

“I’d rather a bunch of sweaty men didn’t say that, but who cares!”

“OH YEAH!!”

 

Chazz whirled around to face Jaden again. “Now, Jaden, become a stepping-stone on my way to destroying Misawa! AND RULING THE WORLD!!”

“Hee hee,” laughed Chazz’s brothers.

“Draw!” Chazz exclaimed, drawing a card!

“YEAAAAAH!! CHAZZ IT UP!! CHAZZ IT UP!!”

“SHUT UP!! YOUR VOICES ARE INFURIATING ME!!” Chazz summoned a creepy dragon with a mask onto the field. “I summon Masked Dragon in Defense Mode!” (Masked Dragon: 1100 Defense Mode) “Gimme your best shot, Jaden!”

“Okay, maybe I won’t! ‘Cause I summon Burstinatrix, yo, in Attack Mode, yo!” Jaden’s fire-related hero appeared! (Burstinatrix: 1200 Attack Points) “Oops, maybe I shoulda’ said ‘FLARE Mode’, heh, because that’s what she’s gonna do to that dragon, G!”

“UGH,” groaned the world-wide audience.

“BOO,” someone said.

“H-hey you, get a close-up o’ that talkin’ duck ova’ there!” ordered a TV producer to a cameraman.

“WOAH, WHAT A GREAT DUCK,” marveled the audience.

“Not my fault you peeps don’t get my COMEDY GOLD!!” Burstinatrix summoned a fireball in-between her palms and threw it at Masked Dragon! The dragon obviously exploded.

 

“Oh, wow!” Syrus exclaimed! “Jaden just defeated a monster! How regular!”

“You realize that it accomplished nothing, right?” asked Alexis, who was apparently sitting next to him.

“I’m also sitting next to her, too!” Bastion told the home audience.

 

“Thanks, Jaden, since you killed my dragon, I can use his ability to summon a Dragon-type monster from my deck!” Chazz said! “I CHOOSE ARMED DRAGON LEVEL THREE!!” A pink and orange dragon baby with minimal armor appeared. (ADLv3: 1300 Attack Points)

“CHAZZ IT UP!! CHAZZ IT UP!!”

“OKAY, SHUT UP YOU GUYS, AND YOU AREN’T ALLOWED TO CHEER FOR THE REST OF THE MATCH!!” Chazz ordered!

“…we’re sorry.”

 

“Wow, he just summoned a monster, big whoop,” Alexis said, unconvinced of CERTAIN DOOM?!

“Well, if my known Science of Dueling is correct,” Bastion thought, “then Chazz has something up his sleeve…”

“Shouldn’t it be called psychology, instead of science, according to how you use it? It doesn’t make sense.”

“DON’T EXPLAIN THE JOKE, ALEXIS!!” shouted Bastion!

“…What joke?”

 

“What is THAT?!” Chancellor Shepherd gasped! “Is that… one of the cards from your school’s legendary deck you bought for sixty dollars?!”

“Why yes~ Yes it is~” SeaweedMan replied.

“Well that’s HORRIBLE!! You can’t just give Chazz that LEGENDARY deck that any kid could’ve made! It’s just not right!”

“Actually there are no rules against it~”

“But it’s legendary!” Shepherd shouted, standing up with rage! “I’ll stop this trick, COLD!” He turned his attention to Jaden! “C’mon, lad! JADEN it up! JADEN it up!”

“Stop, teach!” Jaden ordered! “That’s so stupid it feels offensive!”

“Aw…”

“Anyways, Chazz, what ELSE can that DRAGON o’ yours do, huh? I’m excited to see what you’re gonna do with it!”

“You’d better be excited!” Chazz said! “It’s time to end this duel!”

“But it just started, yo!”

“I KNOW!” Chazz drew a card! But who cares, because the baby dragon began ripping apart like paper!

 

“Uh, what’s goin’ on wit’ yo baby?” Jaden asked.

“During my Standby Phase,” Chazz explained, “my Level Three dragon becomes Level Five!” The baby exploded into a much doomier red and black dragon, who had several spiky blades all over it body. (ADLv5: 2400 Attack Points)

“Aw, shizz-nit. That guy’s pretty…”

“Big? Scary?”

“AWESOME!!” Jaden corrected! “I can’t WAIT to beat it up!!”

“…You just don’t GET IT, Jaden!!” Chazz shouted, INSTANTLY ENDING THE MUSIC! “You don’t always WIN in this show, you have to LOSE in order to PROGRESS YOUR LIFE AND THE LIVES OF OTHERS!!”

“Dude, what’re you talkin’ about? You just stopped mah mad jams! Why?”

“Because, you’re always doin’ whatever you want to, pulling everybody into your own OH-SO PERSONAL STRUGGLES!!” Chazz vented.

“…Y’mean like my… tough times?” Jaden slyly asked.

“Yeah.”

“And my… hard climbs?”

“WE’LL TAKE ‘EM ON TOGETHAH!!” the crowd sang.

“Grrr… STOP SINGING THAT STUPID SONG!! YOUR COLLECTIVE VOICES ARE… ARE… IRRITATING ME!!” Chazz screamed, gripping his head! “AHHHH, IT’S SO STUUUUUUPIIIIID!!”

 

Heartwarming music played as we cut to Chazz as a four year-old going to pre-school, which was located right across the street from the Coffee Café. “Now, have fun at Pre-K, okay, son?” Crowler asked, in the way that parents often do.

“Mummy, your face is creeping me out,” Chazz said.

“Okay. Goodbye.” Crowler hastily walked away, as if it really didn’t care about its son’s first day at school. EVER. Chazz looked around feeling scared, as he’d never been with other kids ever since the show decided to add him to the cast. There were nice toys, but the kids looked none too friendly.

“Hey,” a kid with glasses said, “I reckon that’s the guy we were tol’ ‘bout!”

“Huh, Billy, huh?!” gasped a kid with a deep voice, who studied a picture of Chazz, with the words ‘WILL TAKE OVER WORLD’. These kids were given the task of making sure that Chazz would never play Duel Monsters, so that they could prevent his world take-over during this current season of Yu-Gi-Oh GX. Because only kids can save the world.

 

“Hey, I reckon you shouldn’t play Duel Monsters,” Billy Hills recommended.

“YAAAAAAAAARGH!!” Chazz, feeling scared and defenseless, picked up Billy Hills and swung him by the feet into Deep-Voice Dobbson.

“Ow, huh, what’re we doing again, huh?” asked Deep-Voice Dobbson.

“Be my friends or I’ll eat you,” Chazz said.

“Uh, okay, huh, Chazz, I reckon.”

“Hey,” said two twelve year-old-looking businessmen kids, “we’re Slade and Zazz. Wanna become part of the Princeton family so we can exploit you for dueling and world domination?”

“What’s ‘exploits’ mean?” Chazz asked naively.

“It means candy.”

“Yay! Okay!”

 

Then there was another flashback to dinner that night. Chazz and his mom/dad/thing were at the dinner table eating regular foodstuffs. “Hey mum, two big kids made me their brother!” he reported. “They wants to gimme candy and my last name’s ‘Princeton’ now!”

“That’s nice,” sighed Crowler, uncaring.

 

Then there was a third flashback to the night after Chazz got into Duel Academy. He was with the other Obelisk Blues at a prestigious dinner table this time, eating awesome steak next to his dad/mom/thing. “Mum, so whadda ya think of my expert duel today?” he asked, proud of himself that day.

“GRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!” growled Crowler, quite loudly! “I just can’t STAND to look back on this day! That, that… YUCKY boy humiliated me! I swear by the Crowler family name that I WILL get that student to RESIGN as soon as possible!”

Well, if I’m not a ‘Crowler’ anymore, it has nothing to do with a Princeton, Chazz thought, feeling ignored and jealous.

 

Lastly came the night he lost to Bastion, once more at dinner, but at the opposite end of the table with Billy Hills and Deep-Voice Dobbson. “An’ so, I reckon I beat the kid with a direct attack!” Billy said.

“Huh, wow, huh!” Chazz wasn’t listening. He just saw Crowler laughing and talking with Bastion at the head of the table. Why won’t you try talking me out of leaving the school, mum? he wondered. Shouldn’t you be concerned? Wait a minute, I bet she’s just waiting for the right moment. I’ll wait, and if she talks to me about this before tomorrow, then I’m staying!

 

Chazz stopped freaking out so much, but the music didn’t end yet. That depends on how long it took you to read those flashbacks. Aw damn it, Chazz finally realized, my mum sucks! I mean… she let me be used by two weird boys, she lets Jaden get in the way of all our conversations, and she didn’t even stop me from leaving the school, but instead replaced me as her son with Bastion!! What kinda sick mom IS that?!

 

But wait, he thought, struck by brilliance, my connections to her got even WORSE after she lost to JADEN!!

“GAME OOO~N, GET’CHA GAME OO~N, COME ON NOW BETTAH PLAY YO CARDS RIGHT!!” sang the student bodies.

“SHUUUUUUUUUUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!!” ordered Chazz!

“…okay.”

“Jaden… JADEN!!” Chazz growled, more angry than he ever was before in his life, “YOU STOLE MY MUM FROM ME!!”

“Um, why would I want to steal your mom, yo? I don’t play that,” Jaden said.

“EVER SINCE YOU BEAT HER, SHE’S HAD NO TIME FOR ME, HER ONLY SON!!”

“That makes sense,” Jaden said, remembering all those times she was standing outside his window or door.

“I’ve HAD IT!! This duel will show you, finally, around twenty four episodes AFTER we started this, who is the REAL King of Games at THIS school! An—and MY school, too!!”

Hmph, Barry the Beginner ‘hmph-ed’.

 

“But finally, I shall now unveil the reason why the entire student body of North Academy, located in southern Georgia, but not the country, has sworn their allegiance to me!” Chazz promised! “Now during my Standby Phase, my Armed Dragon Level Five—”

Jaden clicked his tongue. “Maaaaan, Chazz, if I went to a school that small, I’d be havin’ all the kids in there as mah bishies by the end of the first day! You ain’t got much credentials, G.”

“UUUUUUURGH!! Do you EVER shut up for just THREE SECONDS?!” Chazz exploded! “I ATTACK BURSTINATRIX!! INFERNAL ROA—”

“I use Hero Ring, so my Heroes can’t be killed in battle this turn,” Jaden called, activating a Trap card featuring Flame Wingman standing in front of the sun, because that was the best they could come up with. Burstinatrix gained a small red shield, which didn’t match the name ‘Hero Ring’ at all.

“SON OF A jabroni!! YOU CAN’T EVEN STOP INTERRUPTING ME FOR AN ATTACK!!” Chazz cried!

“Watch yo’ mouth, yo!”

“I discard some crappy card in order to use my monster’s ability! When I send a card better than YOURS to the Graveyard, I can kill a monster whose weaker than it!” Chazz explained! “Now, Shrapnel Blast! FEEL MY RAGE!!”

 

Jaden thought, trying to keep his cool. But as he thought that, Armed Dragon Level Five stretched out and sighed. All the metal parts of its body launched out like missiles, leaving awesome red trails in their wake. They all converged into a neat spiraling sphere up above the Duel Dome until they plummeted in a stream of explosive awesomeness into Burstinatrix. Needless to say, she died. Unfortunately, that actually WAS pretty serious… Jaden gulped.

“Now, Infernal Roar FOR REAL!!” Chazz commanded! His dragon inhaled deeply. Flames burned inside up to his gullet. Instead of just breathing it out, the dragon plunged its claws inside the flames until its claws were unbearably hot! Then satisfied, the monster slashed Jaden with both claws, then finally released the rest of the fire pent up inside in one burst! Also needless to say, Jaden got pwned.

 

“WAAAAAGH!!” Jaden screamed, somehow being shot twelve feet into the air. He landed with a satisfying thud. “Uuuuugh…” (Jaden: 1600 Life Points)

“Oh crap, the hologram just killed my student!” Chancellor Shepherd gasped!

“N…not really… teach…” Jaden moaned, standing back up. “But seriously… tell me again why this game isn’t illegal?”

“Because most duelists are masochists, like me,” Syrus called out helpfully.

“Oh yeah.”

“HAHAHAHAAHAH!!” Chazz laughed! “How do you like THAT?!”

“Actually… hey, I guess I AM kinda a masochist!” Jaden realized, finally! “Ha ha! Gimee your best shot!”

“YOU’RE DISGUSTING! I’ll just set a card and end my turn. Just take your turn fast, Mr. S and M.”

 

Heh… heh… actually, that wasn’t really cool, but I can’t let the duelin’ stop just ‘cause o’ some minor injuries! Jaden decided.

 

“Oh boy oh boy,” Zazz said, sitting with Slade in the bleachers, “I can’t WAIT to noogie world domination out of Chazz!”

“That sounds like LOTSA fun!” Slade agreed!

“WAWAWAWAWAHAHAHAHAHARR!!” they laughed evilly!

 

“You’re in trouble now, bro!” Jaden shouted! “’Cause I summon Elemental Hero Bubbleman!” A buncha’ bubbles appeared and popped, revealing Bubbleman, whom I don’t like much. (Bubbleman: 800 Attack Points)

“Why am I in so much trouble, ‘bro’?” Chazz asked.

“Because when he’s the only card on my field, I can draw two cards!” Jaden drew two cards. “Now I’ll use’m right now, to fuse Avian, Bubbleman and Sparkman into Elemental Hero Tempest!” Bubbleman suddenly transformed into an orb of blue light! A green one and a yellow one followed suit. They skipped the usual Polymerization sequence, and instead swirled together by themselves! They became the hero with the wings of Avian, the bubble-gun of Bubbleman, and the suit of Sparkman! And he was AWESOME. (Tempest: 2800 Attack Points)

 

“ Now, I’ll use Tempest to kill your Armed Dragon to DEATH, ‘kay?” Jaden’s monster shot out a NUCLEAR BUBBLE at Armed Dragon Level Five!

“Not so fast! I play Negate Attack!” The bubble bounced off of a purple energy barrier and went away for good. “Your attack… is negated!”

“Aw, man!”

“AW YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAHH!!” shouted the North Academy students!

“I guess I’ll just end my turn, yo… with a face-down. REMEMBER IT!!”

“GOOD! I discard Despair From the Dark in order to kill your Tempest, as it has 2800 Attack Points!” Chazz discarded a demonic monster card. Then Tempest exploded, leaving a massive cloud of dust.

“What happened to the missile graphic, yo?”

“I skipped it to do this quickly!”

“Maybe not SO quick, bub, ‘cause I played De-Fusion!” As the dust cleared, Avian, Sparkman and Bubbleman were left standing.

“Hey, gang!” Avian greeted, waving enthusiastically.

“Kill him.” Armed Dragon Level Five stomped on him.

“Avian’s dead AGAIN?! Shoulda’ seen THAT coming…” Jaden lamented.

“Pay less attention to your failure of a hero and MORE attention to my dragon!” Chazz ordered! “It is time for me to unveil the strongest of the Armed Dragons! When Level Five destroys a monster in battle, it levels up ONE MORE TIME!!” Armed Dragon’s skin began tearing again, but as it did, crimson light flooded out and into the Duel Dome! The dragon burst, the light faded, and there was a dragon too bulky to fit on the massive stage. Standing at around forty feet tall, it was… “ARMED DRAGON LEVEL SEVEN!!” (ADLv7: 2800 Attack Points)

“RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!” cheered Chazz’s supporters!

 

“That guy’s even HAMMIER than Hammy the Hamster!” a Duel Academy kid cried!

“Who cares ‘bout your stupid hamster?!” Jesse Anderson ordered! “Chazz’s gonna HAM it up, in that case!”

“Yeah, ham it up!”

“Ham it up, y’all!”

“HAM IT UP!! HAM IT UP!! HAM IT UP!!”

“STOP!!” Chazz ordered.

“HAM IT… up?” The crowd simmered down.

 

“That’s odd,” Zazz thought, “that card wasn’t in the suitcase we gave Chazz!”

“Really?”

“Yeah, really.”

“You mean you checked all the cards and everything?”

“Yeah, Slade!”

“I guess we should stop getting Chazz those ‘200-card EBay Grab Bags’, huh?”

“Where’d he get it, I wonder?”

“Hmm?”

“Hmm?”

“Hmm?”

“Hmm?”

 

“Hmm~” SeaweedMan sighed. “Chazz is about to win~”

“What?!” Chancellor Shepherd gasped! “Where did you even GET that card?!”

“It cost around twenty dollars, but it was worth every penny~”

“It’s UNHEARD OF to pay THAT MUCH for a TRADING CARD!!” Shepherd raged, grabbing him by the collar! “That should be ILLEGAL!!” He let go and turned his attention back to Jaden! “Hurry up, lad! JADEN HIM UP!!”

“You’re a fool~”

 

“So Jaden, what do you have to say NOW, since I’ve just summoned my giant-metal-death-dragon?” Chazz asked.

“I gotta say, SWEETNESS!” Jaden cried! “Can I trade you? I’ll give you Winged Kuri—”

“No! What’s wrong with you?”

“There’s nuthin’ wrong, yo, this is just the TIGHTEST duel I’ve had ALL YEAR!” Jaden explained! “The sense of danger! The revelations of your past! You and I, pullin’ out all ‘da stops to try an’ trump the other guy as fast as possible! It’s just amazin’, yo!”

“What kind of fool are you?” Chazz insulted! “You shouldn’t be analyzing the fun factor! You should be analyzing every way you can think of to totally crush your opponent! You need the drive to win! Discipline! Duty! I HAVE those! I’m fighting for total world domination! I’ve been sent all around the world because of this drive, leading to discipline, and the duty I’ve made for myself to be the best in the universe! What have YOU done in YOUR life to prepare for this moment?”

“Heh heh, you said ‘duty’.”

“THE F*CK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!”

“I dunno, but I’m summoning Wroughtweiler in Defense Mode and throwin’ down a face-down!”A robo-dog buddy and a Trap appeared. (Wroughtweiler: 1200 Defense Points)

“BOO,” someone said.

 

“Why can’t you stop with the catch-phrases for just ONE TURN?! I have a GIANT METAL DEATH DRAGON STANDING BEHIND ME!! Doesn’t that give you some sense of URGENCY or something?!”

“Nah, nope, nada, it’s just a game, yo.”

“I discard Armed Dragon Level Three to use my dragon’s ability! It’s the same as before, except it wipes out ALL of your weaker monsters!”

“WOO-HOO!!” cheered Zazz and Slade, hi-fiving each other!

“OH NOES!!” Shepherd sobbed!

“Oh YEAH~” SeaweedMan countered!

“That is ONE IMPRESSIVE SPECIAL POWER,” Zane noted, sitting next to Koala Ko Ala and Mann MCOldsmobile.

A terribly unsettled Mann McOldsmobile scooted up to Koala Ko Ala and whispered in his ear, “Uh, Koala Ko Ala… WHO THE HECK IS THIS GUUUUUUUY?!?!”

 

And yet, Jaden didn’t say anything.

 

But with impressive blade-related sounds, large swords were instantaneously teleported into and through the bodies of Sparkman, Bubbleman and Wroughtweiler, quickly dispatching them. “DANG, that was violent!” Jaden gasped! “Well, at least when Wroughtweiler is killed, I can add a hero and a Polymerization into my hand from my Graveyard.” Jaden took the Spell and Burstinatrix.

“As if! The card SPECIFICALLY STATES THAT IT HAPPENS THROUGH BATTLE!!”

“NOT the ANIME version, CHAZZ!!”

“Grr…. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!” Chazz’s intense rage filled the Duel Dome with spontaneous gusts of wind!! “THAT IS THE STUPIDEST THING I’VE HEARD ALL DAY!!”

“Not really, yo!”

“SHUT UP!! ARMED DRAGON, ATTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!” Chazz commanded, with a small whirling twister blowing around him and his massive, spiky hair!

“GRWOOOOOOH,” growled the dragon, as it merely reached up, balled up a fist, and brought it down.

“Oh crap,” Syrus worried.

 

TO BE CONTINUED…

 

 

[Kendo Fish]

Congrats on your new chapter. It's extremely odd for me to be posting here, since I haven't been here in an extremely long time and don't plan on coming back permanently at all. But it's so that my brother can post a really long chapter, plus this many awesomely funny chapters is a big accomplishment. So, yeah, good job and post that new chapter.

[Weather Report - Stand]

And THIS.. is PART TWO. It is long and sucessful, and thanks to Kendo Fish for keeping this from becoming a DOUBLE-POSTER. Congratulations on one-half of a season completion, and look forward to a six-part filler arc starting next week!

[spoiler= Episode 26: The School Duel - Part Two]Yu-Gi-Oh! GX! The Fan Fic!

Episode 26: The School Duel – Part Two

 

And so, where we last left off, we saw Armed Dragon Level Seven about to simply punch Jaden hard enough to end the duel. But Jaden had a Trap up his sleeve… LITERALLY! “I play Hero Spirit!” A Trap featuring an invincible hero going up against a thousand demons in his last stand flipped up. Avian was summoned back to the field!

“Hey, wha?! WOAH!!” He was punched, causing a super-big explosion. The tornado briefly mentioned earlier faded away.

“This turn, since an Elemental Hero was destroyed, all damage is nullified!” Jaden explained! “Even though Avian didn’t die this turn, I guess he just appeared because it’s funny.”

“Come on, Jaden,” Chazz groaned, sounding bored, “do the math.” (Chazz: 4000 Life Points, ADLv7: 2800 Attack Points, Jaden: 1600 Life Points) “You’re about to lose.”

“Yeah, wrong!” corrected Jaden, drawing his next new card.

“OOH,” it said.

“Shut up and go suck something inappropriate! I summon Winged Kuriboh in Defense Mode!” His winged buddy of hatred and loathing appeared, wing-y as ever. (Winged Kuriboh: 200 Defense Points)

“AWW, IT’S SO CYUUUUTE!!” the girls sighed.

“Shut up, girls! This is a REAL man’s game! With a stupid puffy puffball! Leave me alone! Now I’ll end my turn.”

“OOH,” agreed Winged Kuriboh.

“Shut up too!”

 

“Hey, boss,” Ojama Yellow said, floating around Chazz’s head all of a sudden, “that monster there, he’s got a mind of his OWN! Like ME! Why don’t you ever play ME?”

“I’m in the middle of a duel here! Go away!” Chazz ordered!

“Hey Chazz, don’t yell at him, yo! He’s cool!” Jaden said.

“Well you don’t yell at that Kuriboh-thing, then!”

“No way!”

“Hi, Jaden!”

“Hi, Ojama Yellow!”

“Don’t talk to him! Go away!”

“Okay, boss,” complied Ojama Yellow, disappearing yet again into the vast unknown.

“Armed Dragon, annihilate the Winged Kuriboh!” Chazz said! The Armed Dragon reared back, turned his hand into a fist, and brought it down onto Winged Kuriboh. It was hit with such force that it and the fist were pushed into the ground, forcing large stones to be pushed up and out of the way. Lastly came a fancy explosion.

 

The dragon stood up again and let the ground fix itself. “That was what was about to happen to you last turn, and what is about to happen once you run outta tricks!” Chazz warned.

“Not unless I DON’T run out, dude!” Jaden challenged! “I play Pot of Greed!” Jaden earned a holographic pot, which he threw at the Armed Dragon. It broke, but didn’t seem to bother the dragon much, due to all the armor plating. “And I draw… TWO AWESOME CARDS!!” A Spell with an apocalyptic hurricane and Wildheart! Wait, how would they help? “SIMPLE!!” Jaden answered to me. “I activate Special Hurricane!” He sent some weird kid in a space suit to the Graveyard. “By discarding a card to the Graveyard, yo, I can wipe-out one of yo’ monsters that was Special Summoned!” Jaden explained! “Come on out, funky hurricane!” A storm quickly brewed around the Duel Dome, filled with wind that just kept picking up, and picking up, getting faster and faster!

 

“What’s going on now?” Chazz asked, unsure of its true powers. “Can this REALLY kill my Armed Dragon?”

“YES!” The wind had now become a whirling hurricane centered around Armed Dragon Level Seven! Trapped inside the whirling spiral, the dragon was immobilized. And yet, even though it seemed impossible, the forces of nature managed to slowly lift him into the air.

“No! This is quite impossible!” Chazz gasped! He was proven wrong as the storm began repeatedly shocking the monstrosity with dozens of focused bolts of lightning. After around seventy-eight high-speed blows, the dragon finally erupted in flame! The wind kept circling him over and over again… until it finally focused on his core, his heart… and cut through him all at once. He fell to the ground on his side before finally exploding in a majestic vermillion supernova. Even though supernovas only come from stars.

 

“The HELL was all that?!” Chazz asked, aghast!

“HE KILLED’m!” a student cried!

“YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!” cheered Duel Academy!

“That’s not all; Wildheart, attack!!”

“Wildheart’s not here—OHCRAP!!” Wildheart spontaneously appeared in front of Chazz, and swiped at him with his MIGHTY BLADE!!” (Wildheart: 1500 Attack Points, Chazz: 2500 Life Points)

 

“Oh NOOOOO~” SeaweedMan cried, much to Shepherd’s delight!

“Ha ha, looks like Jaden just killed your boy’s strongest monster… TO THE EXTREME!” He began putting his creepily-smiling face in SeaweedMan’s. “Looks like you owe me a prize! Heehee!”

“Ugh, get away~” SeaweedMan begged! “Come on Chazz, you know what to do next~”

“CHAZZ IT UP!!” cut in the North Academy students. “CHAZZ IT UP!! CHAZZ!! IT!! UP!!”

 

“Dog-gonnit,” Slade pseudo-cussed, “I don’t trust those guys who gave Chazz that card! What’s he doing, losing his guy to a card he couldn’t see coming?!”

“It’s so irritating that now he’s sucking so badly because he took way less damage than Jaden!” Zazz growled! “We can’t trust him anymore, he’s too dumb!”

 

“I… play The Graveyard in the Fourth Dimension!” Chazz announced, recovering from his massive blow! He activated a Spell card featuring tombstones and dirt floating around in hyperspace. That doesn’t seem like a very good place to bury dead people, does it? “Now I can shuffle two Level-named monster back into my deck, and I choose Armed Dragons level Three and Seven!” Chazz forebodingly added the two guys back into the deck and shuffled. “Next I’ll start all over again with Armed Dragon Level Three!” The original one appeared again in a defensive position! “I’ll set a card to end my turn.”

“Armed Dragon’s comin’ back, I reckon!” a student cheered!

“AW YEAH!!”

“CHAZZ IT UP!! CHAZZ IT UP!!”

“WE SAY THIS OFTEN, DON’T WE?”

 

“Come on, new lil’ bro,” a twelve year-old version of Slade told a Pre-School-aged Chazz, “You’ve GOTTA learn to play this game!”

Chazz himself was struggling to hold his new Duel Disk to his wrist. “But I’m too small for it,” he said.

“NO EXCUSES!!” a twelve year-old version of Zazz roared! “YOU ARE GONNA LEARN TO PLAY THIS INSANELY FUN CARD GAME, AND YOU ARE GONNA LIKE IT!! Within the next few years.”

“Stop yelling at me!” Chazz whined! “It makes me feel bad!”

“We’re sorry,” Slade apologized in his special voice, “he just wanted to say that you’re gonna learn to play this insanely fun card game, and you’re gonna like it sometime within the next few years. And you can’t make any excuses.”

“Within YEARS?! That’s not fun NOW!”

“Shut up and learn to duel. It’s for world domination.”

“Um, okay?”

 

Chazz looked on at his brothers, sitting at the top of the Duel Academy seating area. Oh yeah, that’s how I got into dueling in the first place…

“Yo Chazzmeister, are you okay, dawg? ‘Ya look a lil’ off,” Jaden said, somewhat worried. It looks like he’s staring at his brothers. Is that why he was freakin’ out earlier?

“Jaden!” Syrus called! “Take your turn now! The fate of the free world depends on it!”

“Oh yeah, he’s right!” Jaden drew his next card and was ready for action!

 

“I summon Elemental Hero Clayman in Defense Mode!”His clay buddy appeared! (Clayman: 2000 Defense Points) “Next, I’ll use Miracle Fusion in order to remove him and Bubbleman from play and perform a Fusion Summon!” A Spell card featuring two heroes swirling around the ‘H’ of power! Clayman and Bubbleman leaped into the sky and became an ‘H’! They crashed back down as… “It’s Elemental Hero Mudballman!” (Mudballman: 1900 Attack Points)

“Ugh! I didn’t expect him to summon another monster!” Chazz gasped!

“Wildheart, kill the dragon!” Jaden said!

“WROOOOAH!!” Wildheart shouted, leaping up and bringin’ down his sword through Armed Dragon.

“Egyaaaah!!” he cried, little as he was. He blew up.

“I activate The Grave of Enkindling!” Chazz said! His Trap flipped up, revealing an image of a lady in a nice dress standing around as a graveyard EXPLODED. “We can each summon one monster from our Graveyards in Defense Mode, and I’ll choose Armed Dragon Level Five!” His more bulky version of the original appeared and guarded his face. (ADLv5: 1700 Defense Points)

“I’ll summon Hero Kid!” Jaden chose. His kid in the weird space suit hero suit appeared! (Hero Kid: 600 Defense Points)

“That guy looks even weaker than Avian!” Chazz admitted. “Plus, when’d HE get sent to the Graveyard?”

“I discarded him with Special Hurricane!” Jaden told! “Now, when he’s Special Summoned to the field, I can summon two more thanks to his ability, making him FAR more useful than Avian!” Two more equally heroic kids appeared! (Hero Kids: 600 Defense Points) “Now, Mudballman, you an’ yo’ funny name, get rid of that dragon!”

“Uryah!” grunted the funnily-named hero, as he smooshed Armed Dragon Level Five with his massive fists!

“And I’ll throw down a face-down, and call it a turn!” Jaden ended.

“BOO,” someone said.

 

“GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!” Chazz screamed, his REAL theme song finally beginning!! “WHY DO YOU ALWAYS OUT-DO ME?!?!”

“Uh, you mean killing your trump card and summoning FAR more monsters than you, yo?”

“ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!” Chazz sent a Spell to the Graveyard and added some cards back into his deck. “I play Pot of Avarice in order to add five monsters into my deck, then draw two cards!”

“Oh boy,” Jaden sighed.

“That’s not the half of it! I summon Armed Dragon Level Three once more!” The dragon appeared once more. “Next I’ll play two Spells, both are called Level Up!” Chazz revealed two identical Spell cards, each showing an awesome metal phoenix flying into the sky! “It lets me instantly level up my monster twice!”

“Holy—why didn’t you use those before?!” Jaden wondered.

“I was saving them… FOR THIS.” Chazz revealed THIS: ARMED DRAGON LEVEL TEN. “I can tribute Level Seven to summon it from my hand.”

“NOOOOO!!” cried Shepherd!

“YEEEEEEES!!” cried Slade and Zazz!

“Yeeeeees~” cried SeaweedMan!

 

The baby dragon was covered in an odd yellow energy, somehow causing it intense distress. Its skin began bubbling up disturbingly. “What’s about to happen…?” Jaden asked.

“KWAAAAAH!!” screamed the dragon! It ripped apart into Armed Dragon Level Five, then immediately into Level Seven, and then that last form, the one that was forty feet tall, simply burst open into a SEVENTY-FOOT TALL EBONY DRAGON, COVERED IN THE MOST DEADLY IRON ARMOR EVER.

“SHYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!” it roared, its call almost deafeningly loud! The Duel Dome shook from its intensity! And it glared… right at Jaden… (ADLv10: 3000 Attack Points)

 

“And now for his ability,” Chazz announced, “I will discard one card and destroy all of your monsters, regardless of their power!”

“What?!” Jaden gasped!

“METEOR BARRAGE!!” The dragon punched the roof off of the Duel Dome, defying logic! Then with one bound, leaped into outer space.

“What’s he doing?” Jaden asked. He was soon answered as the dragon came back down, RIDING ON A FLAMING METEOR TWICE AS BIG AS HIMSELF. It utterly crushed all of Jaden’s monsters and was left on the ground, broken into several boulders of various sizes.

 

“Th—that monster… it’s so powerful that it actually affected the real world…” Syrus whispered, utterly at a loss for what to do.

“I’ll now attack you to end this game for good!” Chazz announced! “Armed Dragon, use Final Gun!” His dragon kneeled onto the floor and began focusing its energies. And a large orbital cannon floating around the Asteroid Belt responded.

“What’s he doing now?” Jaden asked.

“Don’t ask, experience it.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean this. Goodbye.” Chazz pointed skyward as a tremendous laser beam was fired, now visibly approaching Jaden at an unfathomable pace.

“HE SHOT HIM WITH AN ORBITAL LASER CANNON?!?!” Syrus screamed! “HE’S GOING TO KILL HIM!!”

“NOOOOOOOOOOO, JADEEEEEEEEEEEEN!!” sobbed Shepherd!

“I trigger my Spell card!” Jaden said! The laser entered the Duel Dome, but was deflected by a totem pole with loud speakers installed. The sound waves it created blocked it, and sent it through the big screen that was installed in the arena. Millions of fans watching on their televisions were utterly relieved that this boy hadn’t been turned into a mere smudge on the floor.

 

“Command Silencer,” Jaden named his Quick-Play Spell card! “It negates one attack and lets me draw a card.” The totem pole exploded as soon as Jaden drew his card. “What, you thought my face-down was useless?”

“What surprised me was that you actually had a hologram that could deflect a laser beam,” Chazz scoffed.

“What surprised ME is that you had a hologram that could summon a laser beam,” Jaden said.

“What surprised ME is that people actually built a giant orbital laser cannon space station and put it in the Asteriod Belt,” Chazz said.

“What surprised me is exactly what you just said,” Jaden said.

 

“What is UP with that DAMN freaky card, SeaweedMan?!” Shepherd ordered!

“Well, it was actually our last-ditch weapon to end the duel in case Chazz could actually summon it, because the duel would’ve been too long anyways if it could come onto the field~” SeaweedMan explained.

“You just almost killed my student!” Shepherd accused!

“Remember, it’s not against school policy~” SeaweedMan reminded.

“Oh, yes, there goes any legal action,” Shepherd complied, sadly.

 

“Hey Slade,” Zazz said.

“Yeah, Zazz?” Slade answered.

“Does this mean we’re inheriting a laser cannon in space from Chazz?”

“Yeah.”

“Damn, it feels so good to be an evil big brother.”

“Damn straight.”’

 

“So, Jaden, what do you think now?” Chazz asked. “Next turn, I’m going to literally KILL you. You can’t kill my dragon. You can’t surrender, because I’ll still kill you after that! And you can’t try setting any face-downs, I’ll work around it! What do you say now?”

“Well, Chazz,” Jaden decided, “I DO have something to say.”

“Go ahead, beg for forgiveness.”

“I’m sorry.”

“That’s not exactly begging, now is it?”

“I’m sorry about your mother,” Jaden apologized, “but if I had come any sooner to the entrance exams that day, then some other kid would be the last to try to enter, and then they’d duel your mom, and likely win.”

“No, that wouldn’t have happened,” Chazz spat.

“Yes it would. And I’m sorry that your brothers are so evil to you, but I can’t help you with that, either. Even if you had other brothers, they’d probably be evil as well. And on the subject of Bastion, some other person would eventually beat me at something, pressuring Crowler to make them her new apprentice in your place. It’s only your fault that you left the school.”

“What are you getting at?”

“It doesn’t matter what other people do, the universe will still organize the status quo in order to force you to grow into the individual you were meant to be!!” Jaden shouted! “We all have problems! And we all have to conquer them! If you let any of them consume you, they will ALWAYS drag you down! You can get over ALL of this, like when my mom died! Come on, Chazz!”

“YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!” supported the entire world!!

“That’s the story of my life!” a guy said, wiping away a tear.

“He didn’t even need his catch-phrases!” a girl noticed!

 

“N—NO! You don’t… you don’t understand what it’s like to be me, Chazz Princeton, adoptive son of Velian Crowler, who is in fact a woman!” Chazz shouted! “You don’t understand me! You don’t KNOW me!”

“Yes we do, Chazz, just stop it.”

“DON’T PATRONIZE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!” ordered a hysterical Chazz! “I AM… CHAZZ PRINCETON!! ONLY I KNOW HOW I FEEL! STOP ACTING LIKE YOU KNOW ME!!”

“Chazz, please, just get ahold of yourself.”

“UGH!!” Chazz turned to the audience. He saw SeaweedMan, who looked impatient.

Get on with it~ he thought. Chazz turned to his two brothers.

He looks like such a loser out there, thought Zazz.

I gotta put this on the internet! Slade plotted, fiddling with his cell phone. Chazz turned to Crowler, seated in the teacher’s area. It sat there, silently watching its child… crying.

 

Wait… mum? Chazz finally opened his eyes. Are you…sorry? After all that’s happened… NO! I can’t forgive… NEVER FORGIVE… “JADEN… BROS… SEAWEEDMAN… MUM… ALL JUST USING ME!! ABUSING ME!! YOU CAN ALL JUST DIE!! I’LL SET ONE MORE CARD AND END MY TURN!!” Chazz’s final card, Magic Cylinder, was placed to lie in wait until Jaden made his final mistake.

 

“Well, Chazz, this is it!!” Jaden drew his last card! It was Mystical Space Typhoon, and we all know what that does! I don’t think I’ll be needin’ this, Jaden decided. “I play Skyscraper!” The field, covered in meteor rubble, was now covered in tall, metropolitan buildings, with an overlooking full moon. “Next I’ll activate The Warrior Returning Alive!”

“No, you’re getting back Avian?!” Chazz realized!

“Yeah!” Avian spun onto the field back from the dead, covered in broken arrows!

“Ready for action!” Avian said, saluting! (Avian: 1000 Attack Points)

“Next I’ll use Polymerization, to fuse Avian and Burstinatrix from my hand!” Jaden said, sending the heroes to the Graveyard!

“I’m ready for action!!” Avian announced! The two were sucked into a reality-warping portal which combined them together! And who else could fly out in a fireball of spirit than Elemental Hero Flame Wingman!

“Come on, let’s show them what we got!” Jaden urged! Flame Wingman coolly rose to the top of the city and perched himself on the tallest tip of the tallest radio antenna on the tallest building in the city, allowing him to look down upon Chazz and even Armed Dragon Level Ten, no matter how large he may be. (Flame Wingman: 2100 Attack Points)

 

This is exactly what happened on the first day, against mum! Chazz thought.

***

“Do you think I’m really that stupid? No! I’ll activate this: Skyscraper!” Jaden placed the card with the buildings into the field card space in his Duel Disk, making the field transform into an awesome cityscape!! The Ancient Gear Golem stupidly stood like a raging kaiju from a Japanese monster movie, while the hero flew onto the top of the highest building. “Now, Flame Wingman, show him why I deserve to go to them schools to get my edjumacation! Skydive Scorcher!”

“Bring it on!” it invited smugly! “Your silly little Skyscraper field card hasn’t lowered my Golem’s Attack Points at all!”

“You’re right! But my field card was made to increase my ELEMENTAL HERO’S ATTACK POINTS BY ONE-THOUSAND!!”

“ONE-THOUSAND?!" Crowler screamed! "THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE!!”

The dragon-armed man flew into the sky, and then dropped down into the Ancient Gear Golem, engulfing itself in flames!!

“Noooooooooo!!” Crowler worried in an overly stupid way!

“GASP!!” everybody gasped again. A large explosion rocked the city!

“No! This can’t be! My very best card…ow.” Crowler was shut up when a very heavy hologram crushed its skull.

“And my hero’s super power,” Jaden concluded, “Causes your Golem’s Attack Points to be deducted from your Life Points!”

“No way!” Crowler whispered. Then the giant ancient fighting robot fell on it, killing it instantly. Then it got better. (Crowler: 0 Life Points. Game Over)

***

Damn, when’d the description get so much better? Chazz wondered. Plus, when’d we stop spelling out the numbers? Well, there’s no time to worry about that. He’s gonna attack, and I’m gonna negate it, and then I’ll win, take over this school, and soon rule the earth.

“Now, Flame Wingman,” Jaden ordered, “BE ON STAND-BY!” Flame Wingman nodded.

“HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH?!?!” gasped the audience!

“HUH JADEN HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH?!?!” gasped Deep-Voice Dobbson!

“WHAT ARE YOU DOO-HOO-HOOING?!” Shepherd demanded!

“Gimee a sec, teach, I gotta ask Chazz something,” Jaden said. “Now Chazz, remember when I said my mom died?”

“You touched upon it,” Chazz remembered.

“Well, I’ll tell you about it, and what it has to do with today.”

 

It was a somewhat stormy morning, and it was literally raining cats and dogs. They were falling all over the street and scurrying into alleys and animal shelters everywhere. Jaden, four years-old at the time, was running with his mom, Tea Gardner, now named Tea Yuki due to marriage to some guy, who was carrying an umbrella in order to shield them from the weird rain. “Now Jaden,” she asked her son, “are you SURE today is ‘Free Dessert Day’ at the pre-school?”

“Yeah, mom, I’m sure!” Jaden said. “I waited for it for a week! I’m ready too!” He leaped over a Golden Labrador Retriever. “Wow, that one was a big doggy.”

“Yes it was, Jaden. Now just don’t go outside until I’m back, because I don’t want you getting hit by some fat-ass dog, okay?”

“And the kitties?”

“Them too.”

“Okay!”

 

And so they raced through the unnatural phenomenon over to the pre-K building, located across the street from the Coffee Café. “I’m going to be across the street getting some coffee before I go back home, and I’ll be back this afternoon, alright?” she checked.

“Okay, mommy!” Tea kissed her boy on the cheek and let her run through the door

“ARF!” a Boston Terrier yelped, as she bounced off of Tea’s umbrella. Jaden dashed through the preschool towards the back of the kid’s area, where there was a massive table full of desserts. Jaden got himself a plate full of gummi bears!

“My favorite!” he said! He rushed over to a large window with cushions placed strategically to let kids sit AND look out the window at the same time. He began digging into his gummi bears as he saw his mom sitting down in the Coffee Café with some piping hot coffee. She shook her umbrella around a bit in order to get the animal hair off. “Hi, mommy!” Jaden greeted, waving to her. She smiled and waved back.

“Is that your mom?” a younger Chazz asked him, with Billy Hills and Deep-Voice Dobbson in tow.

“Yeah, she’s nice,” Jaden said.

“My mom’s creepy-looking,” Chazz lamented.

“I reckon she scares me,” lil’ Billy Hills admitted.

“HUH OH NO HUH!!” Deep-Voice Dobbson shrieked!

“What?” Jaden asked, looking out the window.

 

A Winged Kuriboh fell from the sky. A Persian cat was sitting on the street for whatever reason, licking his legs. The Kuriboh fell and bounced off of the cat, allowing it just the angle and spin it needed in order to smash through the Coffee Café’s window and strike Tea in the head.

 

And there was much bloodshed.

 

“And that’s the story of how my mother died before my very eyes, leading me to hate that Winged Kuriboh, and it was all my fault or having to go to school that day!” Jaden concluded! “Though I’m not so sure why I forgot that you people were there until now, but that doesn’t matter. Even if I were to go back in time, she’d have died some other way! You can’t change your past, but you can still live on. So, Chazz, will you forgive your mom and cast away your brothers and dreams of world domination?”

Damn, he’s so convincing! But those people have ruined my life! How can I expect to forgive them, just like that?! And besides, I still want to rule the world. But then Chazz remembered something.

 

“Hey,” Billy Hills said in the past, “I reckon that’s the guy we were tol’ ‘bout!”

“Huh, Billy, huh?!” gasped Deep-Voice Dobbson, who studied a picture of Chazz, with the words ‘WILL TAKE OVER WORLD’. These kids were given the task of making sure that Chazz would never play Duel Monsters.

 

“Hey, I reckon you shouldn’t play Duel Monsters,” Billy Hills recommended.

“YAAAAAAAAARGH!!” Chazz picked up Billy Hills and swung him by the feet into Deep-Voice Dobbson.

“Ow, huh, what’re we doing again, huh?” asked Deep-Voice Dobbson.

“Be my friends or I’ll eat you,” Chazz said.

“Uh, okay, huh, Chazz, I reckon.”

“Hey,” said younger-Slade and younger-Zazz, “we’re Slade and Zazz. Wanna become part of the Princeton family so we can exploit you for dueling and world domination?”

“What’s ‘exploits’ mean?” Chazz asked naively.

“It means candy.”

“Yay! Okay!”

 

IF I HADN’T HAVE ATTACKED THOSE TWO THEN THEY WOULD HAVE MADE ME NEVER DUEL IN THE FIRST PLACE! THEN MY BROTHERS WOULDN’T HAVE DECIDED TO MAKE ME THEIR BROTHER!! IT’S ALL MY FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUULT!!!!!!! Chazz realized!!

 

“Jaden… JADEN!! YOU’RE RIGHT!!” Chazz believed! “YOU ARE RIGHT!! I CAN’T CHANGE THE PAST, BUT I CAN STILL CHANGE THE FUTURE!! BILLY HILLS, DEEP-VOICE DOBBSON, THANK YOU FOR TRYING TO WARN ME ABOUT ZAZZ AND SLADE! I’M SORRY I DIDN’T LISTEN!!”

 

“I reckon I don’t understand a thang’ he’s talkin’ about,” said Billy Hills to Deep-Voice Dobbson.

“Huh, me neither Billy, huh,” said Deep-Voice Dobbson to Billy Hills.

“Damn selective amnesia… BUT ANYWAYS!!” shouted Chazz, continuing his rant of destiny, “JADEN, GO AHEAD AND ATTACK MEEEEEEEEEE!!”

“Got it, Chazz!” Jaden accepted! “Skyscraper, activate! Flame Wingman, SKYDIVE SCORCHER!!”

 

Flame Wingman extended his wing and flew in front of the full moon of the city. Holding out his dragon arm, he fully charged himself with flames, setting himself on fire! He flew up as high as he could, and then he descended, dragon arm-first. (Flame Wingman: 3100 Attack Points) He crashed right into Armed Dragon Level Ten, doing absolutely nothing. BUT THAT’S NOT ALL!!

 

The hero recovered and flew right in front of the dragon’s heavily-armored stomach. With a single uppercut, he managed to push the beast into the nighttime sky! “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAHH!!” screamed the students of both schools! The dragon was now hovering several-hundred feet in the air.

“Now… follow it up with Neo Flame Dragonarm!” Jaden commanded! Flame Wingman quickly flew over to the tallest building in Skyscraper City and ripped it right out of its foundations!

“That shouldn’t happen!!” Slade and Zazz gasped in synch!

“That shouldn’t happen~” SeaweedMan gasped!

 

Flame Wingman threw the tower as hard as physically possible at the Armed Dragon, but only managed to push the tower a fragment of an inch into the beast’s chest armor. BUT THAT’S NOT ALL!! Flame Wingman’s dragon arm began growing… and growing… and growing! It was now twice the size it was before, glowing beautifully crimson!! The dragon’s maw opened. An impossibly massive burst of flames shot out at the building and dragon! And yet, somehow, force was being applied. The fire pushed the tower’s radio tower RIGHT THROUGH his impenetrable armor. The building flew away and out of sight, as the rest of the flames burned the dragon’s hide, its insides, its back, and forced him to crumple into an ever-shrinking ball. The fires receded, finally leaving the invincible monster around a tenth of his original size, and dropping the scorched sphere to the ground.

 

“It’s over,” Chazz said, satisfied. (Chazz: 0 Life Points, Game Over)

“Yes, it finally is,” Jaden sighed.

“AND THAT’S GAME!!” they shouted, together!!

“WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” cheered the kids! No matter which school they came from, they all could agree that the duel was the best thing they’d ever seen.

 

BUT THAT’S NOT ALL!! All around the world, everybody who’d seen the duel on television had just seen this weird Chazz kid’s resurrection from a hateful future dictator, into a semi-regular child! All because of some idiot who says ‘yo’.

 

“You loser!” growled Zazz, approaching Chazz with Slade in tow! “How could you?! You had that face-down card, right? You should have ACTIVATED IT!!”

“You’ve DISGRACED the Princeton name, you failing failure of a fail!!” Slade shouted, still using his child-friendly tone!

“You are no brother of ours anymore,” Zazz coldly stated.

“Hey, now wait a minnit, I reckon!”

“Huh, JERK-OFFS, HUUUUUH!!” Yes, Chazz’s friends had appeared to help! They both smashed their fists into the two villains of the day!

“Urk!”

“Uwagh!” They fell back, with smoke rising from their hit areas! “Damn you all, we’ll sue you!” Slade promised! We’ll use your moneys to fund a world take-over!”

“We paid all that money to televise the whole thing! And what did the public see? A heartwarming display of humanizing affection? We wanted to show off the future ruler of the earth!”

“Actually, the duck got pretty famous off of it,” Jaden noted, pointing to the ‘BOO’ duck, who drove away in an expensive new car.

 

 

“Wagh! You’re choking me!!”

“GASP!!” gasped the Duel Dome!

“Hey, everyone, after them!!” ordered Nancy Wut! The entire audience ran off to give chase to those two guys!

 

Meanwhile, Janitorboy Ikkaku shuffled into the room. “So now I have to repair the roof, the big screen, and clean up that meteor?” He shrugged, pulled out a noose, and went hunting for a suicide spot.

 

Slade and Zazz rushed through the many halls of the building, still carrying Chazz! “Damn, we’ll just have to take you in our helicopter and come up with a new plan!” Slade cursed!

“Let me go, you jerks! I’m tired of this!” Chazz shouted!

“Like shouting’ll help you!” Zazz scoffed. “We OWN you, Chazz! You can’t just escape or anything—”

“NOW!!” Piggybank leaped out from an adjacent restroom suddenly! She punched Zazz in the face, sending him through a wall!

“WAAAAH!!”

“Crap,” Slade said, with nothing else to say.

“FLUFFY POMPADOUR SPIRIT!!” Fluffy Fred shouted, crashing through the floor! He punched Slade through a different section of the wall, so he didn’t fly through Zazz’s comically-shaped hole. “Okay, Chazz, you alright?” Fluffy Fred asked. “Huh? Where’d he go?”

“YOU PUNCHED HIM AWAY WITH THE GUY WITH COOL HAIR!!” Piggybank screamed, wringing his neck!

 

“WOOOOOOOOAAAAH!!” screamed the Princeton Brothers! They flew right over the stairway from episode Four that lead to a forty-foot drop! “WHAT KIND OF ARCHITECTURE IS THIS?!”

“Baseball Bob, GO!!” shouted Baseball Bob, waiting at the bottom of the stairs with a baseball bat and some gum! “HOOOOOME RUUUUUUUN!!” He swung the bat as hard as he could, firing the threesome through the windows nearby and into the forest. “Wait, was that Chazz?”

 

“WOOOOOOAHH!!” screamed Zazz!

“WAAAAAAAAHH!!” screamed Slade!

“WAAAAA—Woah!” Chazz screamed, when he was suddenly rescued by Bastion, carried through the air in his arms!! The other two kept on flying, however. “Bastion?!” Bastion was crying a stream of manly tears!

“The way I saw you and Jaden connect during that duel made me cry passionate, manly tears,” he said, putting Chazz down. “I am terribly sorry for anything I’ve directly or indirectly caused to you during this long, ten-episode long ordeal.”

“Meh, don’t mention it,” Chazz grunted, dusting himself off, “just don’t expect me to act nice over it, okay? I’m still the same old Chazz. Now let’s go after them.”

 

And the two brothers continued flying through the forest until they hit the ground and rolled into an abandoned mansion. “Woah, man, what just happened?” asked Zazz.

“I dunno, but this dorm sure is abandoned,” Slade supposed.

“YOU TWO PEOPLE MADE CHAZZ A SUCKY PERSON SO YOU SUUUUUUCK!!” roared Angry McArgue, appearing from the shadows with a log, smashing the two guy’s heads, and pushing them through the floor into the cave below.

“Aw, hell no, bro,” Slade noticed, recovering, “the ENTIRE ISLAND wants to rip us limb from limb. Bit by bit at a time!!”

“Look, we can handle it if we just get to the helicopter and buy guns. Guns ALWAYS win. Right?” Zazz checked.

“Right.”

“Right!”

“Huh?!” Spooked-out, the two quickly checked what was behind them! It was Nancy Wut! “Oh, just a wimpy-looking girl. We can use her as a hostage, right?”

“Yeah, we can.”

“BUT WHAT WOULD HAPPEN…” Nancy asked suddenly, wearing a horrifying expression, “IF YOU MORPHED TOGETHER TIMMY’S DAD AND JIMMY’S DAD?! See what happens, after the break.” While the two pondered what in the name of all Nicktoons she had just said, Alexis ran into the scene! WITH A GRENADE LAUNCHER!!

“ONLY WE CAN ABUSE CHAZZ!!” She fired a grenade with enough force to launch the two guys out of the cave and the mansion, and even further still! But Nancy Wut was okay, being who she is.

 

The two soared over the island’s volcano, who with a rockin’ power cord, shot a steady stream of magma into the sky above, burning the brothers beyond mortal comprehension. Luckily, they landed in the ocean, near the cliff which housed episode Fourteen’s Idiot Tree. “Woah,” they gasped, resurfacing and steaming. “good thing the ocean’s cold.”

“JUSTICE MAY BE BLIND, BUT ME, AND MY SHADES, ARE NOT!!” shouted Shades Milligan, standing on the water! He grabbed the confused twosome and threw them upwards before launching all the missiles he was able to put in his arms last night. BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM!! They were shot further away in an impressive display of firepower! Satisfied, Shades Milligan sank beneath the surface once again.

 

They sailed all the way to the Girls’ Obelisk Blue dorms, where Mann McOldsmobile caught them both. “Wh-wh-what’re YOU doing at the GIRL’S dorms?!” Zazz questioned!

“It’s easy…” Mann McOldsmobile answered, “I’M A LADIE’S MAN!!” He smashed the two together a few times, and then threw them with enough force to skip them across the nearby lake!

“OW! OW! OW! OW! OWOWOWOWOW!!” They slid onto the banks of the lake and quickly stood up!

“THIS SCHOOL IS CRAZY!!” they screamed! They made a break for it!

 

They decided to rest at the Obelisk Blue Boy’s dorm for a minute. “Ugh, good thing there are some comfy beds in here,” Slade sighed, relieved, sitting down. Zazz pulled out a map of the island.

“Okay, so if we cut through the waterfall and the forest, then we can get to the piers faster and escape, then buy guns, okay?” Zazz asked, makin’ his plan.

“Yeah, alright.” BUT THEN… the LEGENDARY Someone Jones, Mohawk Jill, and Zane Truesdale entered the room. They glared at the brothers.

 

“YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!” they cried, leaping out the second-story windows and escaping! They headed into the dense forests of episode Seventeen!

“There ‘dey go!” announced Dustin, the Old Copper Man, standing by the waterfall with Ms. Dorothy and Countergirl Williams!

“Boy, you’re about to get clobbered,” Ms. Dorothy warned.

“’Kay, Dan, dey’re heyah,” Countergirl Williams called, with her overly-thick accent.

“YAAAAAHH!!” shouted Dan the Drawer, somehow buff and muscular again, holding two Sammiches!! He got close to the two enemies and stuck the Sammiches in their mouths SO hard that they were pushed through the forest and several trees, all the way to the Electrical Generator Holding Pin from episode Nine!

 

“Ugh,” Slade grunted.

“Gulp,” swallowed Zazz. “Well, at least I got grape-flavored…”

“THAT’S NOTHING COMPARED TO PEACH MANGO PASSION FLAVOR!!” shouted Raspberyl, and she was right! She stood next to a lever in the ground.

“How are you even IN this universe?!”

“It’s the Grand Finale!” Raspberyl reminded! “How could I NOT be here?!” She pulled the lever, allowing the generators to short out and fire electricity like crazy!!

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!” Raspberyl opened out her hand and summoned a cool spell book out of nowhere and touched a page in the book.

“Looks like we need a MEGA Fire spell, here,” she estimated. An intricate spell circle appeared around the pen, spun slowly, and summoned an explosive burst of flame! Once again, the guys were shot through the island, for 21093 damage this time. “My current level’s 8397,” Raspberyl explained.

 

This time, though, they actually landed on the island’s piers, where their helicopters were located! “We made it!” Zazz cried in jubilee!

“Oh, CRRAAAAAAAP,” Slade realized, watching a swarm of students racing across the famous bridge of the island!

“What, they’re far away from us, so we can make it!” Zazz shrugged.

“No, LOOK.” Slade pointed to a nearby staircase from nowhere.

“Why’s there stairs here?”

“No, IT’S AN UNDERPASS,” Slade whispered! “A FEW KIDS WILL NOTICE THAT THE CORRESPONDING UNDERPASS IT ON THAT VERY BRIDGE, AND THEN THOSE FEW WILL STILL MAKE IT OVER HERE AND GET US.”

“Th-th-then get in the helicopter already!!” Zazz rushed!

“They’re over here!” cried Beehive Larry!

“Thanks for doin’ your part this season!” thanked Jaden! He, Syrus, Koala Ko Ala, Billy Hills, Deep-Voice Dobbson, Bastion, Chazz, Barry the Beginner and Raspberyl were all on the scene, after using the helpful underpass system.

“Aw, COME ON!!” begged Slade! “HER AGAIN?!”

“Hey, I’m awesome!” Raspberyl reasoned.

“While it cut away, I got the chopper!” Zazz announced, now flying the helicopter! He let out a rope ladder, which Slade grabbed and climbed up!

“HAHAHAHA!!” Slade savagely laughed! “WE’LL BE BACK, YOU TWERPS! WITH GUNS!! WE’LL KILL YOU ALL FOR THIS, THANKS TO YOUR SCHOOL’S POLICIES ON KILLING!! HAHAHAHAHA!!” The chopper flew away, over the ocean…

 

“Tch,” Chazz ‘tch’-ed, “we’ll never catch them now…”

“Yes we will,” Jaden affirmed, looking at Koala Ko Ala.

“Got it,” Koala Ko Ala nodded. Dad, please let me call upon your power… Koala Ko Ala reached within his most dormant genes and pulled out the one trait he needed the most right now… “HEY YA BIG DUMDUMS STOP RIGHT THEEEEEEEEEEEEEERE!!” he shouted at the top of his lungs, forcing the helicopter to explode!

“YEEEEEAAAAAAH!!” cheered the group! They had just exacted their revenge—WHAT?! Alas, the Princeton brothers were still flying in the air, using their personal JETPACKS!!

“Aw, dang it, I reckon,” Billy Hills complained, “now we’re gonna have ta’ get REAL extreme.”

“Wait, what do you mean?” Chazz asked.

“Easy;” Jaden told, “we’re about to activate FORMATION: 96-48B A LA MODE!!” Jaden grabbed Chazz and put him on his back.

“Hey, wait! PUT ME DOWN!!” Chazz ordered!

“No, this is it!” Bastion then grabbed Jaden, who was grabbed by Billy Hills and Deep Voice Dobbson and held in the air by their feet!

“We explicitly need Raspberyl for this plan to work, so it’s a good thing she showed up for the finale!” Syrus sighed.

“I just wish I could do something,” Barry the Beginner said. “Good luck! Because they’re getting guns. We can’t let them bring guns.”

 

“BRAVEHEART!!” cast Raspberyl, holding her cool book out! Syrus glowed a little bit and became STRONG!!

“OOOOOOOOOOORRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!” screamed Syrus, punching Billy Hills and Deep Voice Dobbson sixty feet into the air!

“HUH I RECKON HUH!!” they grunted, tossing their burdens out over the sea!

“Okay, Jaden, leap off my back!” Bastion ordered!

“Okay, yo,” Jaden agreed, standing on a flying Bastion’s back, and then leaping off with as much force as possible!

“HOW IS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE?!” Chazz asked calmly.

“I stopped askin’ THAT kinda stuff years ago!” Jaden said! “Now, when we get close enough, you jump off too and grab’m, okay?”

“Um, got it?”

 

“Zazz, ZAZZ!! They’re catching up to us!!” panicked Slade, flying his jetpack with Zazz, who noticed the fact that JADEN AND CHAZZ WERE FLYING FASTER THAN THEM.

“Aw, man! We’re dead!! Oh wait,” Zazz looked at his manual for the jetpacks. “It says that we can activate ‘Hyperdrive’ if we press a button on the backs!”

“Okay, okay!!” They both spied a big, red, shiny button on each other’s jetpacks. Fumbling around, they attempted to push in the buttons!

“Okay, Chazz, get ready!” they heard from behind, as Jaden and Chazz were now around twenty feet away!

“GAAAAH!!” The two guys finally smashed in the buttons simultaneously, instantly doubling their speed!!

 

Aw man!! Jaden thought!

We were so close!! thought Chazz!

“It’s MY TURN!!” Barry the Beginner decided! Summoning all the energy in his heart, he activated a power lost long ago… a golden eye of Wdjat opened on his forehead! “YU-GI-OOOOOOOOH!!” Barry the Beginner, who you should know was actually Yugi Mutou from before, yeah, you should remember that, used ancient Egyptian energy to grow TWO INCHES TALLER. He pulled out a card from his deck box, the trusty DARK MAGICIAN Girl.

 

“I can afford to waste THIS one!” he said! “NOW, JADEN, RIDE UPON MY ENERGIES AND WIIIIIIIN!!” He leaped and threw the card with as much energy as he could out over the open sea as Billy Hills, Deep-Voice Dobbson and Bastion hit the ocean. The card spun like a Frisbee from HEAVEN and sliced the ocean’s salty air, managing to fly near Jaden!

“Aw yeah, thanks, Yugi! I mean Barry!” Jaden thanked, standing atop the small trading card!

“How are you doing THIS?!” Chazz asked!

“Easy! I’m determined to keep this island safe!” Jaden answered! “We can’t let them kidnap a student, nor try to return and assassinate the entire student body! Now, Chazz… we’re still not fast enough.” Jaden and Chazz were slowly getting further and further from their targets.

“Aw, DAMN it!” Chazz cursed! “How can we gain more speed?!”

“Just jump off of me, I’ve got it!” Jaden firmly believed!

“What? Now?”

“YEAH JUST GO FOR IT!!” Jaden leaned over so Chazz could stand up straight.

“I’ll try my best!” Chazz promised! “HAAAAAAH!!” He bounded off of Jaden with force unheard of in a human being!

“AND TRY THIS ON FOR SIIIIIIZE!!” Jaden tossed ELEMENTAL HERO AVIAN out as well!! The card swooped up next to Chazz and released its Duel Spirit!

“Chazz,” Avian urged, “grab on! I can fly!”

“Alright!” Chazz climbed onto Avian’s back! Avian stretched out his wings and SOARED after the criminally mean brothers!

 

“Chazz…”

“What’s up? We’re about to get them!”

“No, but Chazz…”

“What’s wrong? Tell me?”

“Eh, um…Chazz?”

“WHAAAAAT?!”

“We’re sinking,” Avian said, slowly falling to the salty sea.

“WHAAAAAT?!?!”

“But you’re HEAVY!!” complained Avian!

“Damn it, can you do ANYTHING RIGHT?!”

 

“Zazz, we’re in the clear!” Slade cheered! “They’re riding AVIAN! That means they HAVE to fail!”

“Okay, so do you know a reputable gun dealer?” Zazz asked.

“Yeah, it’s called the ‘Revengers Gun Shop’, located on the corner of Bleeding Heart and Plush Avenue. They have a sale on AK-47s this week.”

“Oh, that sounds nice.”

 

“STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID AVIAAAAAN!!” Chazz roared! “YOU FAIL IN THE MOST IMPORTANT PART!!”

“It’s not MY fault!” Avian said, making excuses.

“Actually, it is!”

“Aw.”

“BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE!!” said the collective voices of fifty souls from out of nowhere!

“That’s North Academy!” Chazz noticed! “But where…!!” The North Academy submarine was following as fast as it could, but not fast enough.

“Quick, Chazz,” Spike-Hair the Blue called, “watch out!”

“Spike-Hair! Guys! Thanks!” Chazz thanked!

“We’re about to fire the proton cannon, so you can use it to your advantage, y’all!” Jesse Anderson shouted!

“W-wait, how are we gonna…?” Avian wondered.

“Alright, guys, let’s do it!!” Chazz allowed!

 

Jesse and the crew were all stuck in a very cramped submarine. Squished into too many other people, Jesse said, “OKAY BOYS, FAR’ TH’ PROTON CANNON!!”

“SIR YES SIR!!” Several people fiddled around with buttons, levers, and switches, until they finally pressed the ‘Proton Cannon’ button!

 

“So, like I asked, how will this work?” Avian asked, sinking lower than before.

“HOLD ON!!” Chazz said! He clamped on tightly to Avian’s back as a yellow laser beam struck the feathered friend!

“GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!” poor Avian screeched! But it was necessary! The laser was pushing the duo further and faster than before! It was only a matter of time until…

 

“Ohshitthey’recomming,” Zazz gasped, realizing what was going down.

“OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!!” Slade cried!! “WE’RE GONNA GET HIT BY AVIAN AND A LASER!!”

 

“COME ON!!” Chazz encouraged, riding on Avian in a cool-looking way! “COME ON, WE’RE ALMOST THERE!!”

“EASY FOR YOU TO SAY!! OW!!” Avian yelped!

“We’re almost there… almost… almoooooost—AHH!”

“AHH!”

“YEOWCH!!”

“AAARGH!!” The four guys all crashed into each other, and Avian was finally destroyed by battle. The three Princetons fell into the ocean!

“Waah!” they gasped, popping over the waves! Zazz and Slade stared hatefully at Chazz!

“Oh this is just GREAT,” Zazz said angrily, “you just made us lose our rides! Our helicopters, our jetpacks, everything!”

“Now how will we get to land in order to kill your friends, huh?” Slade asked.

“Oh, just drown yourselves, why don’cha?” Chazz impertinently asked, folding his arms.

 

“This is all YOUR fault!!” Slade growled, pushing Chazz underwater!

“Ahh! Glub glub glub!” Chazz glubbed! “Ugh!” He got out from his grasp! “Don’t… YOU… TOUCH MEEEEE!!” Chazz placed all of his hatred into his fist and punched Slade’s chest as hard as he could!! It made a lame ‘thunk’ sound, and that was about it.

“What a wimp, ha ha ha!” laughed Slade! “That’s ALL you can do? Try THIS on for size!!” Slade pushed Chazz underwater again.

“Glugluglug—RAH!” Chazz broke out from his grasp again! “That won’t work on me a third time—GLUBGLUBGLUB!!”

“Man, this is too easy,” Slade sighed, still holding his brother down. He grabbed him by the arms and pulled him out.

“Ugh! Heh…heh…heh…” Chazz gasped for air this time.

“Aw, so you can’t do anything about us?” Slade asked.

“A word to the wise, Chazz,” Zazz said, “if you’re gonna BE someone’s little brother, expect to get bullied a lot!” Zazz grabbed his head and began roughly noogie-ing him!

“AHH! NO! NO NOOGIES!!” Chazz begged! “AAAAAAHHH!!”

“NOOGIENOOGIENOOGIENOOGIENOOGIE!!” Zazz laughed! “WAHAHAHAHA!! THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR WASTING ALL THAT MONEY!!”

 

No, no! NO! Chazz despaired! It can’t END like this! Getting bullied in the middle of the ocean, where you know nobody can help you! Being all by myself… this feeling of hopelessness… how did it come to this?!

“Hey, kids,” somebody ordered, “leave your little brother alone!”

“Who says?” asked Zazz. He and Slade looked up at Crowler, riding a wooden boat! “OHMYGOSHADRAGQUEEN!!”

“What did you just call me?” Crowler asked.

“A drag queen, ew!” Zazz repeated! “OW!!” Crowler soundly kicked him in the ear! “AHH, MY EAR!!”

“One: I am NOT a DRAG QUEEN, I am a WOMAN!!” Crowler corrected, stomping on him to Slades’ horror! “A NATURAL-BORN WOMAN!!”

“AHH!!” Zazz let go of Chazz and grabbed his head in pain!

“Two: GAYCISM AND HOMOPHOBIA IS WRONG! GAYS ARE IMPORTANT MEMBERS OF SOCIETY AS WELL!!” Crowler lifted the boat out from under herself and smashed it over Slade’s head!

“ARGH, THAT WOODEN BOAT HURTS!!”

“Three: GET AWAY FROM MY SON!!” Crowler, levitating with energy, lifted up the two bad guys and energized her fists, now full of collars!

“Wait, what’s he doing? What is he doing?!” Zazz asked, questioning the existence of Crowler having magical powers.

“I SAID I AM NOT A MAN!!” Crowler released all of her energy as a purple beam of power!! The Princeton Duo was fired away around half of the area they’d just travelled across the ocean already!

 

“GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!”

“WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!” They were now utterly devoid of any energy left in their bodies, but at least the laser was gone, and replaced with Crowler zooming across the water with Chazz on her shoulders and a massive sword covered in red sparks—HOLY CRAP!! Whilst slicing them, she added in some sort of energy blast, taking the form of a magenta crescent. The result caused Slade and Zazz to bounce off the hard floor of the piers, while Crowler and son had a smooth, cool landing.

“Aw, man, ugh…” Slade moaned in pain.

“Slade… Slade, look up…” Zazz warned, pointing at the 50 students of North Academy, 3412 students of Duel Academy, and 108 miscellaneous faculty members staring them down.

“I knew they’d get here soon…” said Slade. Using an utterly painful amount of energy, the two stood once more.

“Uh, we promise to never come back, ever, and also never shoot you people on sight,” Zazz promised, “as long as you let us leave and seek medical attention.”

“Hmm…” pondered the schools.

“But really, we’re still going to do just that, what you said we won’t, after we’re better and buy guns, right?” Slade asked, just to make sure!

“NO!!”

“Slade, I really hate you right now.”

 

“GET’CHERGAMEON!!” Jaden shouted, pushing them into the humongous angry mob! They proceeded to beat the living daylights out of them, again. Then, the opportunity arrived, and they were tossed into the air, for the SECOND-TO-LAST TIME.

“It’s all you, Chazz, huh!!” Deep-Voice Dobbson exclaimed!

“Aaaaaaaah…” Chazz folded his arms and bent his fingers into terrible claws! “AAAAAH…” His eyes flashed! “CHAZZISAWESOMEENERGYBLASTXXXPOWERNEOSHOOOOOOOT!!” His eyes fired off the biggest ‘chazzisawesomeenergyblast’ of his life!

“Send’m to the moon!” suggested Nancy Wut!

“HAAAAAAAAAH!!” Chazz’s blast of power fired them into the big, shiny white dome of the academy.

 

Inside the dome was Janitorboy Ikkaku, standing around in the teacher’s lounge, as his noose had just broken off of a coat-hanger thanks to those two boys. “Wha—my noose!!” he cried! “Now I’m gonna have to clean up… THAT ENTIRE MESS?!”

“I-it wasn’t our f-fault…” Slade mumbled.

“I CAN’T HEAR YOU!!” Ikkaku summoned these giant blades and slammed the two guys upward though the sunset-lit sky, all the way to the moon.

 

MEANWHILE…

Somewhere on the moon, in one of its many eucalyptus tree plantations run by koalas, Zazz and Slade had been knocked straight through one of several nearby trees, scaring off several koalas, employed to pick and juice the leaves. “A…at least… it’s over…” Zazz sighed.

“Ew, eucalyptus,” Slade spat, getting leaves out of his mouth.

“HEY,” a tremendously awesome man’s voice boomed, “WHADDA’ YA DUMDUMS THINK YOU’RE DOIN’ HERE?!” The man’s nose was large and koala-like.

“Wait, aren’t you that koala kid?!”

“SHUT YOUR SUCKETTY MOUTHS AND DIIIIIIE!!”

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!”

 

And that is the story of how Zazz and Slade Princeton got their jobs working for Koala Juice Co., run by Koala Ko Ala’s dad, on the moon.

 

MEANWHILE…

“WE DID IT!!” the kids cheered! And a few teachers, too.

“We completely mauled two men who tried to take advantage of the kid for world domination by running them through the kinds of torture the human body can’t even COMPREHEND of withstanding!” Syrus said! Everybody stared at the killjoy. “Eh, but they were going for world domination, and they said they wanted to kill all us kids and stuff. So that means it’s okay!”

“WOOOOOOOOT!!”

 

“Mum, you were awesome out there!” Chazz congratulated to Crowler!

“Hm, well, yes, I’m your mother,” Crowler said, “so I must protect you no matter what, and all that…”

“That SWORD thing was totally SWEET, teach!” Jaden shouted, leaping up to the plate!

“Look, YUCKY boy, I know that you just did everything in your power to stop my son from defecting to the dark side, but that doesn’t mean I can forgive you, for the sake of a running joke or two, you understand?” Crowler growled, turning back to normal, back to dumb.

“Don’t worry, teach, chill!” Jaden urged, slapping it on the back.

“No, I most certainly will NOT chill! Now, son, would you like to go out for ice cream?” offered it.

“Okay!” Chazz accepted, walking off with Crowler, and getting hi-fives from all the students he passed by.

“WE WILL NEVER FORGET THIS NIGHT!!” the North Academy guys cried!

“SHUT UP!! My hand hurts from all the hi-fives now, ow!” And Jaden watched the two leave the scene.

“There goes a great kid and an even greater mom, yo,” Jaden sighed.

“Are you sure,” Syrus wondered, “because she’s still out for petty revenge and stuff.”

“Hey, don’t be talkin’ to me ‘bout moms, ‘cause I KNOW ‘bout moms, thanks to MY great mom, yo! Step off, Sy!”

“But…”

“Today taught me something… that without moms, we wouldn’t even be here…” Jaden said, wistfully.

“Well, duh,” Syrus sy-ed. His hair wiggled a bit.

…Son… the hair sniffed.

 

As Chazz and Crowler walked off the piers, they ran into SeaweedMan! “What is it, Mr. Seaweed, we’re on our way to some bonding experience!” Crowler said.

“Oh, well I have to talk to Chazz about something~” SeaweedMan said. “Chazz, you sucked out there, because you had a good Trap that you never even used~ See, I remember~ Because it was right there~”

“So?”

“You just cost yourself the school, AND world domination~ Plus, you made me lose a bet with Shepherd~ So I’m expelling you for your insolence~” SeaweedMan explained.

“Hey, you can’t just fire me from school!” Chazz argued! “That’s because I quit, so you can’t have the satisfaction!”

“Actually, no, people can’t be fired from school~ I’m expelling you~ Plus, I said I would before you tried to quit, so I win THIS round, Princeton~” SeaweedMan walked away. Chazz and Crowler shrugged.

“Hey mum, can I have sprinkles?”

“Why not?”

“Yay!”

Billy Hills and Deep-Voice Dobbson watched them leave from the shadows, and they smiled.

 

“Okay, and that means that Chazz is coming back to Duel Academy,” Prof. Banner said, holding Garfield the cat, on a stage, with a microphone, at the piers, “and that also means that he’ll be starting out as a Slifer Red again, due to rules and regulations.”

“We quit too, I reckon!” Billy Hills reckoned, flying onto the stage!

“Me three, huh, new headmaster, huh!” Deep-Voice Dobbson added, leaping next to Billy Hills.

“SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN,” Banner ordered, kicking them away into the crowd. “Anyways, now that the awesome-yet-funny, though-could’ve-been-better-written montage scene is over, we can now go to the awards ceremony, since the headmasters made a bet and are forcing you to watch the outcome. Yes, I know it’s stupid too, but I get paid extra to announce it.”

“MEOW,” Grafield meowed, in his fancy voice. He and Banner left the stage as SeaweedMan and Shepherd entered. Shepherd was bouncing with excitement, which is very creepy, coming from such a semi-old guy.

 

“Okay, so, as we all know, Duel Academy’s original Jaden Yuki beat North Academy’s short-time duelist, Chazz Princeton, which you may have forgotten during the beat-down,” reminded Banner, “so this means that Shepherd wins a thing!”

“YEA-YUSS!!” cheered Shepherd, with arm-pumping action, much to SeaweedMan’s annoyance.

“And before unveiling the award, Shepherd had placed the entire school up for bet, which was really, really stupid,” Banner said, “but now we will bring out Shepherd’s new thing nobody else cares about!” A large dump-truck began slowly backing up towards the stage, then stopped.

“OKAY, BOYS, DUMP IT ALL!!” Shepherd ordered! The dump truck emptied its haul, which was 1.3 metric tons of vanilla ice cream, all over the event stage!

“NOOOO, NOT MY ICE CREAM RESERVES~” SeaweedMan cried! “DON’T GET IT ALL OVER THE STAGE~ OH, IT WAS SO EASY TO STORE IN SOUTHERN GEORGIA, BUT NOW IT WILL MEEEEEELT~”

“Shut up, LOSER-boy!” Shepherd laughed, taking out a silver spoon and digging in. None of the students really felt like watching, so they went their separate ways. SeaweedMan and his students piled into the submarine, which was no easy task, and went back to Georgia.

“BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIII, GAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIZ!!” Duel Academy shouted, waving at the sub as it departed. From its roof popped out a giant, robotic arm with a comical glove. It waved back, signaling a new era of friendship between Georgia and Japan.

 

And it was a long era, and there was much partying.

 

[Des ＨＥＲＯ]

Wow that was long and good.

[Weather Report - Stand]

FIRST FILLER EPISODE!! It shall not be story-heavy, because I didn't quite know what to do with it, but you duel enthusiasts will get something fun out of it.

 

[spoiler=Episode 27: Duels on Duel Island (Filler 1/6)][spoiler=Part One]Yu-Gi-Oh! GX! The Fan Fic

Episode 27: Duels on Duel Island

Part One

 

The sun was shinin’, the volcano was spewing toxic fumes into the atmosphere, and there were no classes going on! Why? Because of the massive, school-wide assembly!

 

Every student and teacher was seated in the Duel Dome, anxiously awaiting something apparently cool that was bound to happen. In the center of it all was a massive, Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon-shaped bingo ball machine, which some people felt was oddly nostalgic. Every student’s name was printed on one of the hundreds of balls inside the machine. Chancellor Shepherd and a kid with a ducktail hairdo and pink tux parachuted down from the skylight and onto the head of the machine. The middle head, to be exact. “Now students,” Shepherd began, taking out a microphone, “I bet you’re all wondering why you’re here.”

“You BET we are, dammit!!” yelled Someone Jones.

“Well you can just shut up. Every four years at this school, we host a massive, school-wide competition, right after the School Duel against North Academy, against the OTHER Japanese Duel Academy.”

“Four years?!” some guy gasped.

“It’s a once-in-a-lifetime chance!” another guy exclaimed.

“I smell conspiracy!” Angry McArgue yelled.

“AAAAnyways, you’re ALL instantly entered into the drawing, because you decided to enroll here. If you’re too wimpy, you’re better off dropping out now before humiliating yourself.”

“I GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE!!” Syrus screamed.

“Too late! The rules of this thing are as follows…” Shepherd took out an overly-long scroll, which unfurled all the way down the massive machine and onto the floor below.

 

“Er, ahem! ‘This ex-CITING machine will vomit six bingo balls onto the floor, and the kids whose names are listed on said bingo balls will be flown via helicopter onto a deserted island to hunt down and duel the kids from the OTHER Japanese Duel Academy, thus winning a special prize for defeating them all, which is still a secret.’” Done reading, he quickly wrapped his scroll up once more and put it behind his back mysteriously.

“Why’s it so FREAKING HUGE if that’s all that was written?!” ordered an enraged Beehive Larry.

“Because… it’s really my must-watch movie list!”

“That was a TERRIBLE joke!”

“But I really love movies!”

“WE DIDN’T KNOW THAT, SO IT’S UNFUNNY!!”

Defeated, Chancellor Shepherd gave his microphone to the ducktail kid. “EVREHBODEH LISSEN!!” the boy roared! The crowd burst into thunderous applause!

“That Mickey Ducktail’s gonna be big someday,” Nancy Wut predicted, wiping away a single tear.

 

“Hmph,” Chazz sighed. “We ALL know that Jaden’s gonna get picked first.”

“I reckon you’re right,” Billy Hills reckoned.

“Why is Jaden ALWAYS the one to do stuff, huh, Chazz, huh?” asked Deep-Voice Dobbson.

“Cause, yo,” Jaden explained, poking his head out between Chazz and Deep-Voice Dobbson’s, freaking both out, “SOMEBODY’S gotta bring ‘da E-Heroes into this thang!”

“Jaden, don’t do that,” suggested Syrus, pulling him away while sitting behind the Chazz Black Coat trio.

“You can be creepy like that, Jaden,” Mann McOldsmobile said, seated with the two.

“WHERE AM I?!” Koala Ko Ala screamed, not there.

 

“AN’ ‘DA BINGO BALLZ-TO-‘DA-WALLZ ACTION IZ A-HEATIN’ UP!!” cried Mickey Ducktail, leaping to the ground!! A dragon head threw up a bingo ball, which Mickey Ducktail picked up off of a fluffy mat. “CHAAAAAAZZ PRINCETOOOON!!” he shouted!

“WHA?!” Chazz gasped!

“Hey Chazz, I reckon ‘yer goin’ on a wil’ excursion!” congratulated Billy Hills.

“Who said I even WANTED to go?” growled Chazz.

“Who cares, kid, you’re in!” Mann McOldsmobile said.

“Everyone was entered, huh, Chazz, huh, so you had as good a chance as any,” Deep-Voice Dobbson informed.

“BILLEH HIIIILLZ!!” Mickey Ducktail screeched.

“Wha?!” Jaden looked around. “Who the HELL is Billy Hills, and why was he chosen instead of me?” Jaden asked. Everybody in the Duel Dome pointed to Billy Hills, who was visibly sad. “Oh. Sorry, yo.”

 

“Well, WOO-HOO, who cares, ‘cause I’m goin’ too, I reckon!” Billy Hills cheered, casting away his disappointment!

“Well that sucks,” Chazz groaned. “JUST SHUT UP! YOUR STUPID ACCENT’S REALLY GETTING ON MY NERVES!!”

“You’re mean,” Syrus remarked, “whatever happened to you becoming awesome in the last episode?”

“I got over it.”

“Well, I’m gonna go on that island for SURE now, huh, Jaden, huh, now that all my friends are goin’, and there’s nuthin’ you can do ‘bout it!” Deep-Voice Dobbson assured! His and Jaden’s harsh gazes met and locked.

“Yeah, WRONG, buddy, because I do EVERYTHING around here at THIS school! Like Chazz in that other school, except it’s less creepy! So get’cher game on!” Jaden said, excited!

“BOO,” someone said.

“AAAAAAND THE NEXT DUELIST IS SYRUS TRUESDALE!!”

“WHAAAAT?!” Syrus screamed, just before Chazz himself could. Chazz slapped him.

“Stop stealing my lines!!”

“Ow! How?”

“Hey, don’t hit my friend for a dumb reason, or else I’ll hit you for a GOOD reason!” ordered Jaden. “Plus, I won’t help you when your Armed Dragon deck gets ‘ya into a big pinch!”

But just then, Ojama Yellow appeared on Chazz’s shoulder! “Hey, he’s right, boss!” he agreed. “Armed Dragon stinks! You should use an Ojama deck instead.”

“No.”

“Hi, Ojama Yellow!”

“Hey, Jaden!”

“STOP TALKING!!”

“Okay, boss!”

“…I reckon.”

 

“THE NEXT DUELIST IIIIS NANCEH WUT!!” Ducktail Mickey exclaimed.

“Oh, hooray!” could be heard from across the Duel Dome, uttered by Nancy Wut.

“Jaden, PLEASE come with us!” Syrus pleaded! “I can’t be alone with HER! I’ll go MAD!!”

“Hold ‘yer Trojan Horse cards, G,” Jaden said, “I’ll go, you ‘kin bet on it!”

“Unless I win, huh, Jaden!” Deep-Voice Dobbson challenged!

“Well, what if you BOTH win?” wondered Ojama Yellow.

“ANGRY MCARGUE!!” There was much applause all around.

“B-but why HER?!” Syrus begged, beginning to bury his head in his hands and cry.

“Aw, don’t cry, Sy!” Jaden soothed. “Hey! It rhymed!”

“THIS IS THE THIRD-WORST DAY EVER!! Waaaah…”

“YOU JINXED IT!” Chazz grumbled loudly. “DAMN YOU, YELLOW! I CAN’T WORK WITH THAT BROAD!”

“H-hey, I’m sorry, boss,” Ojama Yellow apologized.

“I don’t really have any lines in this scene, so I’ll just go now,” decided Mann McOldsmobile, leaving.

“Either way,” Deep-Voice Dobbson said in his gravelly voice, “this is gonna be the mental-match of the century, huh, Jaden, huh?”

“I’m ready ‘ta THROW DOWN!” said Jaden, rarin’ to go.

“BOO,” someone said. The boys’ eyes flashed before shooting lightning bolts. The bolts connected into a solid current of electricity, and the air turned so utterly tense that everybody stopped to stare, and the air became ripply and foggy. Within seconds, the Duel Dome was full of storm clouds! The entire school stopped what stupid stuff they were doing and gave them their full attention.

 

“Excuse me, huh, Jaden, but don’t I remember beating you in a duel before?” Deep-Voice Dobson reminded.

“OOOOOH!!” gasped the audience, at the utterance of such a dig.

“Well that’s not what happened in the ANIME,” Jaden recalled.

“OOOOH-HOO-HOO!!” giggled the audience, at the utterance of such a different dig. Slowly, the two rivals began levitating out of their seats and into the air, slowly rotating around eachother at an epic pace.

“I’m not gonna ask,” Syrus sy-ed.

 

The student body couldn’t help but begin chanting slowly, “Tough times… hard climbs…”

“What IS this?!” Chazz screamed!

“…we’ll take ‘em on to-ge-thah,” joined in Ojama Yellow.

“NOT YOU, TOO!!”

“But right now, let’s go. Yu-Gi-Oh GX, Generation Nex—”

“BASTION MISAWAAAAAAA!!” declared Ducktail Mickey, immediately ending the song that you were listening to while reading. Jaden and Deep-Voice Dobbson stopped rotating, and the sky returned to normal.

“…What?”

“Oh, happiest of days!” Bastion cheered. Jaden and Deep-Voice Dobbson crashed onto the ground, ,and the school screamed in appreciation for Bastion’s existence.

“WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” they screamed! They began lifting and carrying him around as confetti sprinkled down from the sky. A massive ‘YOU DID IT, BASTION!’ banner unfurled from the ceiling!

“Um, am I the only one who remembered what just happened?” wondered Chazz, and Alexis for bonus points.

 

“DAAAAAAAAMN!!” Jaden cried, with manly tears streaming from his eyes! “THIS IS SO STUPID!!”

“I actually agree,” Chazz gulped.

“WHAT THE ‘F’ JUST HAPPENED?!” Syrus demanded, royally confused.

“Bastion, huh, won’t help us win,” Deep-Voice Dobbson roared, “HE NEVER WINS!!”

“But I SURE can duel a tie match, ha ha,” Bastion responded.

“But hey,” Piggybank noticed, “they just INSULTED BASTION!”

“THEY DID WHAT?!” somebody gasped!

“GET’M!” A mob of rabid, morbid Bastion fans rapidly approached Jaden and Deep-Voice Dobbson, the ones who had brought them together just a minute ago. Chancellor Shepherd took this moment to activate the ‘BLAH’ alarm from atop the dragon lottery machine.

“BLAH.” shouted the emergency alarm.

“WOAH!” The mob was so surprised that it calmed down and returned to normal.

 

“Now that I’ve got your attention,” Shepherd said, “to those who have been chosen: you are now allowed to gloat.”

“Ha, I reckon!” laughed Billy Hills, pointing in Deep-Voice Dobbson’s face.

“Huh, aw.”

“Now to the real business afoot,” Shepherd continued, “you’re the six that can DEFINETLY beat those loser duelists from the, *ahem,* OTHER Japanese Duel Academy. The idiots over there are getting pulled into the idea that using cards based on pop culture references is ‘KEWL’ and ‘FTW’. But we’re gonna take that ‘waaaave of the future’ crap, and shove it back up their collective butts!”

“Hey, that sounded EDGY!” Barry the Beginner shouted! “Let’s all cheer for him!”

“YEAAAAAAH!!” cheered two people! Barry the Beginner felt deflated and useless.

“Hey,” piped up Baseball Bob, “aren’t the ‘Six Samurai’ monsters based off of ‘The Seven Samurai’ movie or whatever it was called, patent pending, no purchase necessary?”

“Yes.”

“LET’S KICK SOME BUTT!!” roared the entire school, souls united as one under the hot summer sun! In early spring, since it’s that semester and stuff.

“Alas, for those of you who are wondering what the PRIZE for winning is, it’ll be revealed at the end of the dueling stuff. But you’re SURE ‘ta love it!” Nobody seemed to care; they were too busy cheering.

“KICK SUM’ ASS!!” shouted Mann McOldsmobile from a random seat.

“Oh well, yo,” Jaden secretly plotted, “I’ll get the E-Heroes into this thing SOMEHOW…”

“Seriously though, Jaden,” Syrus worried, “what was that thing earlier all about?”

 

MEANWHILE…

Koala Ko Ala woke up from a horrible dream, bathed in sunlight from the open window. “Oh gosh, I had a dream where I was being ignored…” He picked up a Sammich and felt at ease. Rubbing his eyes, he asked himself, “What will I do today…”

 

LATER! THAT!! MORNING!!!

We cut over to the OTHER Japanese Duel Academy suddenly, in their own light-green Duel Dome of destiny, where hundreds of anime geeks in school uniforms (at THIS Duel Academy, it’s the same clothing, except they have TALLER COLLARS) were drowning a girl in support. She had been picked for the dueling excursion, and was well-known as the most important duelist at school.

“YEEEEAH!! YU-KI! YU-KI! YU-KI!” they chanted!

“We’ll win for sure~” some guy cried in happiness.

The girl, brown-haired, Slifer Red, and apparently named Yuki, aimed her pointer finger skyward and roared, “GET YOUR DUEL ON!!”

 

A LIL’! MORE!! LATER!!!

The cast of Kaibaland Duel Academy had gathered up around the school heliport (they could afford it) to watch the lucky dawgs lift off for their ‘wil’ excursion’. It was being piloted by that crazy American ship captain from the fourth episode. You know the one. “ALRIGHT NOW,” he yelled, “READY TO KICK SOME NERDY TAIL?!”

“Maybe,” said one kid. The captain stared at him oddly.

 

“Okay, Dobbson,” Chazz asked his friend, “can you PLEASE hold onto Ojama Yellow for me while I win this whole thing?”

“Huh, okay, huh.” Deep-Voice Dobbson took the card with pride.

“Hey, it’s Dobbson!” Ojama Yellow exclaimed, sprouting from the card, complete with his annoying theme tune.

“Stop the song.”

“Okay, boss.” It stopped.

“I’ll take GOOD care ‘o him, huh!” Deep-Voice Dobbson promised.

“Take care,” Billy Hills commanded, “I reckon we’ll be back by t’morrer!” Deep-Voice Dobbson and Ojama Yellow waved as the two guys headed to the ‘copter, squeezing past hundreds of students.

 

“Syrus, are you sure you’ll be fine, yo?” Jaden checked.

“Y-yeah.”

“Do you need me to pack you any snacks?” Mann McOldsmobile checked.

“Y-yeah.”

“Aw, man,” Jaden sobbed, handing Syrus a plastic baggie full of crackers and a juice box, “we’re gonna miss ‘ya, foo’!”

“Guys, I won’t be gone long!” Syrus promised.

“Okay then.”

“Go get’m, tiger!” Mann McOldsmobile coached, pushing Syrus off on his own. “There goes one depressing kid.”

 

Alexis was with her own Alexis Group, looking hard at her two closest friends. “Okay, Angry, if Nancy goes berserk, you can hit her with this,” she said, handing Angry McArgue a wrench.

“Okay.”

“Nancy, if Angry gets too angry, you can use these,” Alexis warned, handing Nancy some chloroform and a rag.

“Okie-dokie.”

 

All six duelists approached the helicopter through a storm of thunderous applause. Bastion had a golden crown, a bouquet of flowers, and was sporting a new sapphire ring. “It’s hard to explain,” he sighed, throwing the gifts away.

“No, it’s just that you’re too LAZY to explain!” Angry McArgue screamed! Woah, she’s worse than me, Chazz thought.

 

And so, soon enough, the chopper took off, heading to one of the several smaller islands that we didn’t care about which made up the funky shape of Japan as we know it. Inside of the helicopter was a cushy room with sofas, for card-organizing in comfort. The kids were discussing important Duel Monsters information.

“Dark Magician!” Basstion exclaimed.

“Exodia!” Nancy Wut laughed.

“Winged Dragon of Ra!” Syrus reminded.

“So Chazz,” Billy said, “I reckon I kinda miss Dobbson.”

“Feh,” Chazz sighed, “he’d only hold us up by saying his catch-phrase all the time.”

“Yeah, well I reckon I’ll just organize m’deck a bit more before we get where we’re goin’.”

“Good idea, I guess.” Chazz took out his handy-dandy deck box and checked it out. “I got a Level Up card I need to add in here—WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!” Chazz took out an Elemental Hero Stratos card. “No!” He threw it away and found an Elemental Hero Lady Heat. “NO!!” He threw THAT away and found an Elemental Hero Ocean. “THIS IS NOT MY DECK!!”

 

“SHUT UUUP!! Angry McArgue punched him mso hard that a small breeze filled the entire aircraft. “Can’t you wait and have your nervous breakdown on the island or something?”

“Oh, you’re so askin’ for it,” Chazz growled, rubbing his hit cheek.

“Chazz, I reckon, DON’T!” Billy Hills gasped! “You KNOW what happens in almost every anime ever made when a boy attempts to touch a girl in any way, shape, OR form, I reckon!!”

“I DON’T CARE!!” Chazz clenched his fist, and punched Angry McArgue… in the breasts on accident. “Crap. You were right. And… I’m really worn about how I should feel right now.”

“I’LL KILL YOU!!” Angry McArgue raged!!

“Stop!” Nancy Wut ordered! They did. “Boys aren’t allowed to hit girls!” She followed up this statement by hitting them both over the head with her bottle of chloroform, hard enough to push them through the floor.

“AAAAAAAAHH!!” Syrus screamed!

“WHAT HATH THOU DONE, LASS?!” Bastion yelled!

“I smashed them through the fuselage or something, yeah!” Nancy Wut winked.

 

An explosion rocked the entire helicopter. “Dang it, I can’t keep’er steady!” the captain grunted, struggling to keep the helicopter and his passengers safe. BUT HE WAS FAILING!! The chopper was wiggling around randomly and destructively! Meanwhile, in the helicopter nearby, carrying the kids from the OTHER Japanese Duel Academy, Marik Ishtar was piloting with something on his mind. Just so you know, he became a helicopter pilot just last week.

“Hmm,” he thought, “I think that tomorrow I’ll tell that girl I love her…” Then the two helicopters collided, killing him instantly. They both sputtered and crashed on opposite ends of a jungly island.

 

Because they landed on the SHADY side of the island, the people resurfacing from the OTHER helicopter were all SHADOWY with few visible features. “Man, that was CRAZY!” one of the five girls commented, being that Yuki from earlier.

“Shut it, I don’t care,” grumbled the girl with DEADLY spiky pigtails, “I just wanna get out of the water and dry off. Don’t talk to me.”

“Leave Yuki alone, you jabroni!! Waaah…” cried the smallest and there-by weakest one.

“Well, I’d say we should do what she suggested and get on that island,” suggested the British one.

“That sounds good,” supposed the lone boy in the clan, adjusting his glasses.

“I’m hungry,” said the fat one.

“Then let’s go, now that we’ve all said something!” decided Yuki.

“But what about the pilot?”

“Oh, you mean madly-popular Marik Ishtar? He’s dead. Yep, super-dead. His head was cut off and smashed. So he’s dead. Let’s go!” Upon Yuki’s command, they all headed onto the island.

 

[spoiler=Part Two]Yu-Gi-Oh! GX! The Fan Fic

Episode 27: Duels on Duel Island

Part Two

 

MEANWHILE,

On the SUNNY side of the island, the Kaibaland Duel Academy kids were on the beach, catching their breath, save for Chazz and Angry McArgue. “Now that was TERRIBLE, I reckon.”

“Sorry for ‘sploding the ‘chopper,” Nancy Wut apologized.

“Aw, I can’t stay mad at you, you’re just too cute!” Bastion admitted.

“Come’re, kid!” Nancy Wut said. They hugged!

“Aw, it’s so cute,” Syrus admired. “Why can’t I find love?”

“Because you’re the straight-man, and they don’t deserve it!” Nancy Wut explained, as Bastion repeatedly licked her cheek in a disturbing fashion.

“Oh. And Bastion, stop being so creepy, Chazz and Angry are coming.” Syrus pointed out to sea as th two approached land, strangling each other. Sadly, Chazz couldn’t put his all into it, as Angry McArgue is TUFF.

“Woah!” They both tripped over the body of the unconscious captain.

“Uuurgh,” the captain grunted in pain, “ow that hurt.”

“Sir, are you alright?” Syrus asked, tugging him onto dry land with the help of Billy Hills.

“Yeah, I’m alright, I also sent out a distress signal.” He held out a grey box with a flashy light on it. “They’ll be sendin’ out some help ‘fer us’n no time.”

 

As they said that, Chancellor Shepherd and Crowler were playing Scrabble. “WEE-WOO WEE-WOO,” went a siren.

“What’s that?” Crowler asked.

“Oh, just something stupid,” Shepherd shrugged, pulling out a crowbar and smashing the alarm.

 

“Good, so let’s secure a food source!” Bastion quickly headed into the jungle, alone.

“Wait! If you go, you could be eaten by a tiger! And by eaten, I mean your bowels would be ripped out after a few good chomps! Oh, and then we’d come and scare it off, of course, but you’d be in so much pain! And you’d never survive until the help came for us!

“He’s already gone, nitwit,” Angry McArgue said.

“I don’t reckon there’re wil’ tigers in Japan, guys,” Billy Hills thought.

“Okay, then I’ll go secure some flora and fauna,” Syrus decided, following after Bastion.

“Wait, what about that second helicopter we hit?” Angry McArgue asked. “We need to look for it and see if there were any casualties!”

“The only loss was Marik,” the American reported.

“Oh, that’s okay then.”

“The island’s around two kilometers in diameter, so we’ll find ‘em all real soon,” the captain said.

“I didn’t ask that. Duelists, let’s go hunting.”

“Yayz!” Nancy Wut erupted.

 

“Wait, wait, wait,” Chazz rushed, pushing Nancy Wut away, “who put YOU in charge, Miss Argue?”

“Chazz, I reckon that if you don’t agree with ‘er, don’t follow ‘er.”

“Hmph. Well, do you NOT want a good prize?” Angry McArgue asked harshly. Chazz sheepishly shook his head. “So you DON’T want a prize?”

“N-no, I DON’T NOT want a prize!”

“SPEAK NORMAL!”

“I DO want a prize!”

“Then get your ass in gear, Black-Coat Boy!” Chazz and Billy Hills looked at their cool coats and wondered what was wrong with them. Angry McArgue stormed off into the forest and Chazz followed. “Who told you to follow me?!”

“I was gonna TURN RIGHT THERE!!” Chazz pointed to a small stream, which apparently came from a nice waterfall, barely visible though through the thick foliage. The two split up and Billy Hills ran after his senior Black-Coat Boy.

“Wait, Chazz, I reckon I’m a-gonna follow you!”

“Bye, Mr. Captain!” Nancy Wut bid, leaving the immobilized man alone in the sand and sun.

“Wait! I injured my back! I can’t move my arms or legs! AT LEAST GET ME SOME SUNSCREEN!!”

 

The closer Chazz got to the falls, the more tropical the area seemed, impossible to the latitude and longitude, however. In fact, there was a nice lake with tropical fish at the top of the falls, but nobody cared. Chazz stopped at the bottom of the waterfall and broke off a cup-shaped leaf from a nearby cupleaf tree, named after Sir Roger Cupleaf. As he bent down to try and fill it with water, he looked up. “Huh.” On a high-up branch sat a monkey.

“O-O-Ah-Ah,” it stereotypically said.

“Oh, a monkey.” In a tree near the monkey’s tree, Chazz noticed some girl drying off her duel blazer, dripping with wetness, masked by the sunlight behind her. She noticed him.

 

“Kyaah! Perv!” She threw her blazer at Chazz’s face.

“Ugh! The sharp collar! It poked my eyes!” The girl took this opportunity to leap down and strike him… but she stopped as Chazz removed her coat from his head. Now Chazz could tell that the girl had black, spiny pigtails, girly eyes, and disturbingly resembled a female Chazz.

“AHH!!”

“EEK!! Who’re you and why do you look like me?!”

“Ugh, that’s what I wanna ask YOU!” Cazz retorted.

“You’re disgusting, spying on me!”

“WHO’D WANT TO SPY ON A GENDER-SWAPPED VERSION OF THEMSELVES?!” They both thought for a second. “Okay, what NORMAL PERSON would do that?!”

“You shut up, you disgusting freak of nature!”

“Lady, PLEASE don’t look at me! I don’t wanna see your face! You’re not cute! You’re disturbing!” That last part really got to her.

“ZAZZISAWESOMEENERGYBLAST!!” The girl-Chazz opened her mouth and fired a large laser beam, relatable to the legendary ‘Arale N’Cha Beam’!

“CHAZZISAWESOMEENERGYBLAST!!” Chazz returned fire with his two smaller eye-beams! They collided and bounced off of each other into space and killed off four alien species somewhere.

 

“Wait, you’re named ‘Chazz’?” the girl asked.

“And you’re ‘Zazz’?” Chazz asked. “…THAT’S UNCREATIVE! We already HAVE a Zazz in THIS show!”

“WHA?!”

“MY EVIL BROTHER, ZAZZ PRINCETON!!”

“Our names are different, idiot!” Zazz growled. “I’m Zazz PRINCESSTON! DUH!”

“Shut up, sheet-Girl!” Chazz shouted!

“sheet-Face!”

“Dip-sheet!”

“sheet-sheet!”

“That is IT!!” With a sound akin to a whip cracking, both idiots pulled out their Duel Disks in the blink of an eye!

“I’m going first, you Zazz RIP-OFF!” Zazz exclaimed! “I summon Godzilla!” The earth shook and quickly filled with ocean water. A giant beast roared, hidden in the deep!

“Wait, who?” Chazz asked, confused. “Godzilla? You people DO have dumb cards based on licensed stuff! That’s illegal, right?”

“Oh, Pegasus BOUGHT the rights!”

“Why does everybody use that excuse for everything?”

“Godzilla, go!” The water sank and receded as a massive reptilian behemoth showed its scaly face! But it really looked like a guy in a suit. A fifty-foot tall suit.

“GWAAAAAR!!” (Godzilla: 2300 Attack Points)

“These licensed cards aren’t ‘dumb’, they’re the wave of the future,” Zazz said in an impertinent manner, “what stupid cards do YOU have?”

 

“That’s just what some guy told me you’d say,” Chazz scoffed, drawing a card. What the hell? His new card was some sort of living flower. I knew all heroes were weaksauce! But a FLOWER card?! I can do better than THIS! Wait, actually, I’m not so sure anymore… BECAUSE JADEN STOLE MY GOOD DECK!!

Get ‘yo game on! mocked Hallucinatory-Jaden.

When I get back… WHEN I GET BACK…

 

Chazz was covered in the flames of malice! “What’s going on?” Zazz asked, somewhat worried about why this boy was now a fire hazard.

“WHEN I GET BACK, I’M KICKING JADEN YUKI IN THE CROTCH FOR STEALING MY DECK!! I SUMMON ELEMENTAL HERO STRATOS!! A cool blue-skinned guy with jet engine turbines for wings or whatever appeared from a small tornado! (Stratos: 1800 Attack Points)

“Hah, Elemental Heroes?” Zazz scoffed. “And you call ME a nerd.”

“Shut up! I use his ability to get an E-Hero from my deck and put it in my hand.” Chazz scanned his deck for anybody tough-looking. “I’ll add Elemental Hero Heat into my hand! Then I’ll set two cards and end my turn.”

 

“You DO know that my Godzilla’s WAY stronger than your MARVEL SUPERRHERO-BASED MONSTERS?”

“You lie!”

“No! Woodsman is The Hulk!” Zazz revealed! “I’ll tribute my Godzilla for Godzilla 2000!” Zazz’s rubbery costume guy transformed into a CGI robot beast of horrible sequel proportions! (Godzilla 2000: 3100 Attack Points)

“That’s too strong for only one tribute!” Chazz gulped.

“If I tribute the original, the ‘2000’ version only requires one sacrifice instead of the usual two,” Zazz explained. (Godzilla 2000: 8 Stars) “Next I play the Field Spell card Godzilla Destroys Tokyo!” Similar to Skyscraper, countless buildings sprouted from the ground! But these… were black-and-white. Soon after it appeared, the original Godzilla lumbered back onto the field. “Also when I activate it, I can summon one Godzilla from my Graveyard!”

“What?!” Chazz protested!

“Godzilla 2000, kill! Bad Movie Breath!” The newer monstrosity roared out a blaze of halitosis!

 

“Trap card, Draining Shield, activate!” Chazz’s Trap came to life as a small circular shield, held by Stratos, which deflected the blaze! “Now I gain a whoppin’ 3100 Life Points!” (Chazz: 7100 Life Points)

“F*** you!” Zazz cursed, flippin’ the bird.

“Don’t say that, this is a kid’s story! We’ll be cancelled!”

“Don’t go there, we just had that ‘sheet’ fight. Godzilla, use Radioactive Breath!” Zazz’s other, faker monster launched a cheesy laser beam from its mouth, killing Stratos with a lame explosion!

“Ugh!” Chazz grunted, apparently affected. (Chazz: 6600 Life Points) “I activate my SECOND Trap card, Hero Signal!” His other card flipped up, projecting an ‘H’ onto a tree.

An ‘H’! Zazz thought. This means trouble...

“Now I’ll summon a replacement hero: ‘Hulk’, come on out!” A green guy who looked edgy and tree-ish dropped down via rope from the Herocopter. (Woodsman: 1000 Attack Points, 2000 Defense Points) “I’ll leave him in Defense Mode,” Chazz decided.

“I’ll end my turn with a face-down.” Zazz laid down a card near her two roaring kaiju.

 

“During my Main Phase, Woodsman gives me a Polymerization from my deck or Graveyard!”

“HUUUU-YAH!” Woodsman pulled a Polymerization from the soil like a raddish. “CHAAAZZ!” he yelled in a weird, Japanese-guy-trying-to-speak-Engrish voice. He tossed the card at Chazz. Chazz caught it! “NICE SHOT!”

“Yeah, yeah. Then I summon Elemental Hero Prisma!” A cool crystal guy appeared. (Prisma: 1700 Attack Points) “I can choose one Fusion monster I control and send one monster listed as Fusion Material to my Graveyard in order to count Prisma as that monster. I’ll choose Elemental Hero Inferno and discard Elemental Hero Lady Heat.” Chazz flashed his Fusion monster and tossed a card that was overly similar to Burstinatrix to Prisma.

“Owm,” Prisma said, catching it in his mouth and eating it. Then he somehow BECAME Lady Heat!

“Now I use Polymerization with Heat, whom I just added into my hand last turn!” Chazz called, releasing faux-Lady Heat and her more masculine version into a portal of Polymerization madness!

“Crap!” cursed Zazz! A huge guy who looked like a Transformer who would have transformed into the sun or something crashed down from the sky! (Inferno: 2300 Attack Points)

“And when Inferno attacks a Water monster, he gains 1000 Attack Points!” Chazz went on. “That’s just enough to take down your stupid movie monster! Attack in Disguise!” Elemental Hero Inferno jumped and made that old-fashioned transforming noise straight out of the 80’s cartoon! He really DID transform into a small sun. (Inferno: 3300 Attack Points) He shot out heat rays at Godzilla 2000!

 

“Not so fast!” countered Zazz! “I use Godzilla Never Dies!” Her Trap flipped face-up, displaying Godzilla flying around in outer space.

“What the hell kinda card is THAT?!” Chazz gasped!

“When one of my Godzillas is attacked, I can negate whatever you’re doing and end your turn!” Godzilla 2000 survived the heat wave long enough to punch out the sun. “Also your monster dies.”

“Gat’ DAMN it!”

“Now, Godzillas, attack!” Zazz’s two monsters powered up their powerful two-breath combo!” The dumb original one struck first, burning away Woodsman, and the second one had a clear shot at Chazz.

“No!” Chazz cried! But the shadow of the lizard was upon him! It shot Chazz with its flamey doomy breath. “AHH, IT’S SO HOOOT!!” (Chazz: 3400 Life Points)

“Now I’ll end my turn with a face-down,” said Zazz, “and during my End Phase I can use my Field Spell, Godzilla Destroys Tokyo’s SECOND ability! I pay 500 Life Points to double any damage inflicted this turn.”

“That’s so cheap!” Chazz griped. (Zazz: 3500 Life Points)

“Now, 2000, Collateral Damage!” Godzilla 2000 shoved a building right on top of Chazz.

“NOOOO—ow! Building!” (Chazz: 300 Life Points) The hologram faded and Chazz was revealed to be comically stuck in the ground.

“So, ready for round two, punk?” Zazz asked with a satisfied grin.

Chazz slowly climbed to his feet, stared her in the eyes and roared with the intensity of a warrior hero, “YOUR VOICE IRRITATES MEEEEE!!”

 

Round two was to be a doozy.

 

TO BE CONTINUED!!

 

 

 

[Kaisu]

So THIS is what you were talking about!

 

Yuki Judai, eh?

 

Very nice, can't wait for the next 5 to come out.

[ThatPhantomGuy]

WHOA MARIK ISHTAR?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

 

Best lines ever.

“whatever happened to you becoming awesome in the last episode?”

“I got over it.”

 

Does this mean I should include fillers if I write a fan fic? o.O

[Weather Report - Stand]

Updated now! Also I only put in fillers for TWO reasons...

 

1. Because (almost) all animes have irritating fillers.

 

2. I want to stretch out the fic.

 

3. I want people excited to see what's going to happen next... and boy, do I gots some planz...

[Kaisu]

I still dun get this - If Dr. Card wanted the volcano, why the heck was he in a submarine? He could have taken a roflCopter and jumped into the volcano.

[Weather Report - Stand]

I'll explain that when it comes time for an explanation...