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God Bless The King [OOC/PG-16/Started/Accepting]


Techi☺

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And Kane isn't the worst I played. Some characters I played can kill that many at a younger age. But, that's way beside the point.

SG may be right for the studying part, Kane didn't have to study so hard to get this far, his lectures are of course outsourced, whereas all the others taught themselves. So, some good potential suggestions here, I'd recommend heeding them.

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(I do feel the need to point out that 50,000 people probably constitutes two or three towns' worth of people, so in that sense, Kane is much more broken than Zero Fangslay Deathbringer. Bringing that number down - by a lot - may help the roleplay a bit? After all, at that rate, Kane could fight every encounter in the game by himself. ^^;;)

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Alright, tweaked my app a bit, so the history explains that Kane killed only 2000 enemies overtime during his training and also the appearance section explaining how Kane lost his authentic leg previously.

 

It seems like the residents in Gnorfiend wanted Kane's leg in SG's post. I'll have him tell them in my post that if they want it, he can get supplies from his home world, but it will cost him heavily.

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Wait, I hope Kane doesn't think he's going to get a random homeless person off the street to pay for his leg that is made of precious metals in real money. ...Actually, now that I think of it, I hope he does. I feel like this kind of cluelessness is actually a pretty good character flaw for Kane. It makes sense for him to not really grasp how societies and economies work, since he was basically raised in seclusion. It might be fun to just watch him get paid in counterfeit bills; it'd make him mortal and give him an actual obstacle to deal with on this world (especially since he just got here and there's no way he could distinguish counterfeit from real money). :v

 

Oh, and I'm confused about how he saw Maia without Maia seeing him. Specifically, when he cast Chaos Firaga, was he inside his house or out of it? In the latter case, surely Maia would have noticed, and I should have her react accordingly. (Also: "Kane does the following respectively in order to cast his spell: Click his left finger for Thunder, spin around in a 360 degree angle for Fire..." If he was outside and Maia was there to see it, shall I assume he did the appropriate pirouette? :P)

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As for the Chaos Firaga bit, he was just showing off. No need to worry too much about it yet. He was outside the house when he did it, perhaps I should have elaborated on it a bit.

 

As for the supply of prosthetic legs the homeless tramp was after. Providing it isn't counterfeit, I think Kane would get away with it. (If it was, his guardian won't be too happy...)

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If you can do posts that long on this RP, wait until you join mine... It's probably even longer. But, that's besides the point. I'll let you choose whether to join or not.

 

I'll scheme a post now, but I still have my RP to focus on... Yep, I'm still scouting.

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Oh geez, there's like three conversations at once :'u

So the chronology as I understand it is:

  • Maia leaves Kane's street for shop.
  • Some time later, Kane leaves Kane's street for shop.
  • Daphne enters, buys things. She doesn't notice Maia, inattentive though she may be, so I assume she's not there yet.
  • Maia enters, Fayyad jumps at a cleric entering, starts a conversation with her.
  • Kane enters, interrupts Fayyad talking to Maia.

I'll try to reconcile all that in the post I'm writing now :'u

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Sorry for lagging so much on my post, everyone. Hopefully you can see why it took so long. :V I feel like this was kind of two posts in one. In reality I guess it was three - a response to Daphne, a response to Fayyad, and a response to Kane - but the Daphne response got cut off, unfortunately for Maia. Anyway, that's why I divided it in two - it's where one post would have ended and another would have begun, were it not all one post. (Plus, I couldn't think of a real transition. u_u)

 

Reconciling the timelines to fit with what everyone's characters were doing ended up being pretty tricky. I think everyone was responding to the post two posts above them, so you ended up with some impossible situations (Fayyad responding to Maia without noticing Daphne, for instance, or Kane carrying out his transaction after Daphne even though Fayyad had already left the table). As interesting a challenge as it is to reconcile all these different accounts (and I am going with the timeline I posted before, just so everyone's aware), having this problem in the future could get old, fast. So let's all read the posts before ours carefully in the future, so we don't miss things and end up with impossible timelines like this. :P

 

It's been fun showing how Maia perceives things. She's a shrewd enough judge of character, but she's hardly perfect, and it was fun showing how she misinterpreted other people's intentions. She didn't pick up on Fayyad's nervousness at all, and Kane, er... well, she definitely couldn't read Kane. Turns out contacts weren't actually wearable until the mid-19th century, so I get to write a girl who has no idea what contact lenses are watching someone put in contacts. The results are... interesting. :V

 

Oh, what colour are Kane's eyes, and what's his face like? I wanted to describe his eyes, face, hair, etc. but the description doesn't seem to contain any of that.

 

Ah, and as for Maia's "bad feeling:" I was assuming that chaos magic wouldn't be tremendously pleasant for normal mages to be around. It's, well, chaotic. Not to mention, it's fairly violent: crushing the elemental properties of magic into submission and turning them inside-out. So the magical aura of a chaos mage would be... off-putting to Maia. After all, it disrupts the flow of mana the mages of Gnorfiend have grown up with and spent their lives manipulating.

I imagine this could go differently depending on how people want character interactions to go. Maybe some people like the aura of chaos magic, and how spontaneous and different it is; maybe mages who haven't specifically studied controlling mana wouldn't notice something like that. I imagine it's not so bad once you get used to it. Then again, maybe I'm totally wrong about how chaos magic works yet again and this is a silly idea. If it is, let me know. :"P

I also made some lesser assumptions, such as that a metal leg made of precious metals would make a lot of noise on a wood floor. These I'm more comfortable on, since they rely on acoustics, not magic. :V

 

I'll check over Yami Zero's new app in a bit. Gonna update my thread in Casual Multiples first.

 

...Sheesh, even the recap post ended up being super-long :'u I promise this isn't my usual standard. I think I used to be fairly brief...

 

 

EDIT: Looked over Yami Zero's new app.

 

That's much better! ^w^ I'll take Luke Knight over a guy with "slay" in his name twice any day. Just a few quibbles:

  • I don't see how one can become a master swordsman without liking swordplay. I'm sure magic schools offer means of learning swordplay, given both actual medieval trends and Gnorfiend's martial history, so it's actually completely fair that he has access to swordplay in a school setting. My confusion is, if he didn't like swordplay, then why did he learn it? This one is easy to resolve: just have him enjoy swordplay. Then he learned it by his own choice, and he became a master because of his actions and hard work. It's more impressive that way, and I think it fits with his personality, too.
  • Not sure why he's a ninja all of a sudden. "Fire werewolf" really is more than enough to build a character around; "ninja fire werewolf" is just excessive. He won't be the stealthy one, ever - not when we already have someone with an invisibility cloak who doesn't have to constantly suppress the howling beast within. You may as well ditch the ninja and go full-tilt "fire swordsman by day, fire werewolf by night." Plus, how would he carry around a crossbow, knives, shuriken, and smoke bombs? Crossbows are big, heavy things, the predecessors to modern rifles; I don't think they'll easily fit on his belt. I recommend lightening the load and ditching all the ninja stuff. There's no need for illusion magic or smoke bombs when you have "I am a wolf who is on fire and also eating your face." Plus, it fits his personality better anyway. When he goes "insane" in a fight, he won't be thinking about stealth or nuanced tactics, he'll be thinking about rip and tear rip and tear.
  • To me, personally, the backstory seems a little darker than it has to be. He seems to have been pretty much constantly abused from day one, so how on earth did he develop a "laughing and smiling" personality? The skeleton is good, and honestly, it's probably acceptable as it is (though it does push the PG-16 rating on this so far I begin to think I can actually show Maia's libido acting up, because geez, compared to that...). That said, I wonder if it might not go better if he were raised in a more mildly abusive family. Say, a dad that got very violent when he was drunk, and a doormat mother (which I think is what you were already using). That way he can develop his "laughing and smiling" personality, and then maybe run away when his dad starts to get drunk and abusive more and more often. He'd be older, his personality would already be in place, and it puts his story more in his own hands. After that, it'd be pretty much the same, I think: get bitten by a werewolf, who teaches him fire magic and werewolf control but plans to use him as a slave, so Luke kills the werewolf and runs off to Gnorfiend to perfect his magic and bring his lycanthropy under control.
    That said, I confess I have a bias against really grimdark things, so follow your best judgment. Consider the above a suggestion, not a rule.
  • These next two are just for clarification: when you say he's "also a mage," does that mean he's a low-ranking Royal Mage? If so, does that make him Daphne's co-worker? I hope so, because that means potential for character interaction. Which is great. >:3C (Plus, they need to send someone to track down Kane Underwood anyway... >> <<)
  • Also: what kind of swordplay? Given his berserker fighting style, might German fencing with broadswords be apropos?

Seriously, though, this is worlds better than before, and if you just make the slight tweaks I suggested above there shouldn't be any problem accepting you at all. I just can't imagine someone who's simultaneously a ninja and a berserker. ^w^ (Plus, I'm excited to have another front-liner on the party, especially since ANBU hasn't posted at all since the game started. Daphne and I need a tank >:0)

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sorry for lack of posting/activity been busy with stuff for TAFE, assignments and stuff for IT course I'm doing atm

 

will try to get something together in next couple days once i finish assignments i currently have if I don't get immediately swamped with more work this week

 

also finished putting together the stuff for the sword item he has and added that to his app (the sword from his bio that was planned as an item that was until the other day lacking actual info) if i need to fix/remove anything from it I should be able to tomorrow night (have TAFE on mondays and tuesdays 8 am to 5-6pm GMT +10)

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SG: I don't mind giving you the eye colour on the spot. It's blue by the way, his contacts are brown.

EDIT: Yes, I also looked over his app earlier. Much better than the first, but it still needs work. He's welcome to work on a post now, but he can't submit anything until we can officially accept him. Yami, you're not too far off.

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