Resident Fascist Posted March 9, 2015 Report Share Posted March 9, 2015 Kay, so I felt I need to blow off some steam. I occasionally get like this, it seems. As the title suggests, I have Asperger's Syndrome. I'm not sure if I've ever told anyone before. Despite that, I have pretty high self-esteem. I really like myself. There's nothing about me that sticks out to me that frustrates me. I just... Have the most over-active and confusing mind in seemingly history. I can never stop thinking. Literally never. If I have nothing to think about, I will condition something up to think about. I'm also a natural pessimist and worrier. If I have nothing to think about, chances are I will end up convincing myself I have some mental illness, or disease. A few years ago, I was convinced I had Meningitis despite knowing nothing about the disease except a dislike for bright light. A few months ago, I was convinced I was having a heart attack. I've always done this, though. When I was younger, I worried about aliens. After that it was having my soul stolen by spirits. That may sound ridiculous to other people, but to me it was quote on quote very real. I've always had one of these obsessions, good or bad, none of them are ever true, but I have been haunted by the same one for the past few years. It's nonsense, just like all the rest, but I want to be free from it. Anyone else like this? I mostly place it on nothing in my life taxing my mind enough. But meh, I felt I needed to get this off my chest. So YCM, help this crazy man out here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CommanderVolt Posted March 9, 2015 Report Share Posted March 9, 2015 Well, this will be my first time ever addressing you Shard (I think) While I my self do not have Asperger's Syndrome, I regularly talk to another YCMer who does. (Raeg. He's stated this before so its no secret) It's interesting, how very different the symptoms you two have are. But, that's beside the point. I suffer from ADD and OCD, though I've gradually gotten over most of it, It still affects me in most of my every day life. (At work, and even home.) While it's not that much similar to Asperger's or, at least, what your experiencing, it's still something. What do you mean by, "nothing in my life taxing my mind enough." This just seems very odd to me. Clarify? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mutant Monster RAEG-HAPYP Posted March 9, 2015 Report Share Posted March 9, 2015 ^Correct. I have Asperger's as well. I know how you feel. But, are you sure the worrying and obsessions aren't something else? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resident Fascist Posted March 9, 2015 Author Report Share Posted March 9, 2015 Well, this will be my first time ever addressing you Shard (I think) While I my self do not have Asperger's Syndrome, I regularly talk to another YCMer who does. (Raeg. He's stated this before so its no secret) It's interesting, how very different the symptoms you two have are. But, that's beside the point. I suffer from ADD and OCD, though I've gradually gotten over most of it, It still affects me in most of my every day life. (At work, and even home.) While it's not that much similar to Asperger's or, at least, what your experiencing, it's still something. What do you mean by, "nothing in my life taxing my mind enough." This just seems very odd to me. Clarify? Basically for the past few years I've not done anything. I was home educated from my eighth year at School, mostly because I felt the work was too easy and the people being immature frustrated me. I get on with people just fine, so long as I deem them sensible enough, essentially. I think this is basically the problem. We tried to move house around July of last year and I didn't take it very well. Key word, tried. I felt pretty guilty and to be honest, I used my current fear as the excuse for why I went into a period of depression. I have Asperger's as well. I know how you feel. But, are you sure the worrying and obsessions aren't something else? Yeah, I'm sure. It follows the exact same patterns as everything else I've ever worried about. I worry, I come to the logical conclusion, then I go blank, have nothing to think about, either end up thinking the opposite of the logical conclusion or a "what if" thought and it loops back. I am sure what I am worried about in particular is not an issue, or else it would have come up earlier in my life. It is also not consistent with how I actually feel so, yeah, I'm sure. Also, the issue itself was founded on badly interpreted information, and things that are not even real in the first place. My logical mind knows it not to be true, so it's more of a pest than anything else. I just wondered if anyone else had things like this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spinny Posted March 9, 2015 Report Share Posted March 9, 2015 I too have anxiety issues and don't like aliens, I don't like the idea of ACTUAL Irl spirits or demons either. I literally never stop thinking, I don't think that I've ever had a point where I've stopped before, I can't stand doing nothing or wasting time. I don't have aspergers though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jord200 Posted March 9, 2015 Report Share Posted March 9, 2015 .....You have it too? I thought I was the only one on here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~British Soul~ Posted March 9, 2015 Report Share Posted March 9, 2015 I will admit that I too also have Asperger's Syndrome so I also know how you feel Shard. As much as I wish I didn't have it as I sometimes see it as a weakness (For example, I see it as a barrier when it comes to getting a job), but in retrospect it makes me who I am as a person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thar Posted March 9, 2015 Report Share Posted March 9, 2015 It's maddening, I know, I have Aspberger's too, but I've learned to cope with it over the years. My biggest grudge with it is that I can never follow through on what I'm thinking 90% of the time. If I was able to, I'd be able to do a lot more with my life and get more things done, but my mindset is extremely fragile and I give up easily. Another grudge is at night when I'm supposed to relax, which is when my mind is at its most active. I've had that problem for almost 20 years now and not even sleep meds can help it. I even hallucinate as a result, which is why I choose to stay awake late at night, not because I "don't need sleep", but because I CAN'T. The only thing that's been working for me is alcohol, which I've grown quite dependent on for that reason and I'm well aware of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resident Fascist Posted March 9, 2015 Author Report Share Posted March 9, 2015 I will admit that I too also have Asperger's Syndrome so I also know how you feel Shard. As much as I wish I didn't have it as I sometimes see it as a weakness (For example, I see it as a barrier when it comes to getting a job), but in retrospect it makes me who I am as a person. I feel I can control everything except the fact my mind is constantly over-active. I also have the dumbest most vivid imagination. Honestly when I look at things rationally I can control it and everything makes sense to me, I just... Go into an irrational state a lot. I don't really see it as a "weakness", I'm just uncomfortable around some people. @Thar: I'm actually like that. It's why I change avatar so much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~British Soul~ Posted March 9, 2015 Report Share Posted March 9, 2015 I feel I can control everything except the fact my mind is constantly over-active. I also have the dumbest most vivid imagination. Honestly when I look at things rationally I can control it and everything makes sense to me, I just... Go into an irrational state a lot. I don't really see it as a "weakness", I'm just uncomfortable around some people. I also feel somewhat uncomfortable around people, especially new people, but I've learned to cope with that over the years. I also have a silly imagination, and sometimes it gets in the way when I'm thinking which results in me saying dumb shit, though I do also try and keep it under control as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Premier Alexander Romanov Posted March 9, 2015 Report Share Posted March 9, 2015 I, too, also have Asperger's. I think this should honestly explain a lot about me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resident Fascist Posted March 9, 2015 Author Report Share Posted March 9, 2015 Thanks guys, it really helps to just talk about this stuff. I think that once I get a job and stuff, all this will fade away and I'll have new things to worry about, or at the very least, I hope so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azure Wolf Posted March 9, 2015 Report Share Posted March 9, 2015 I have Asperger's and can seem like I am calm most of the time. My main quell is that I don't like expressing my emotions so they bottle up. Most of the time they just fade but usually lead to depression which then leads to total blocks on everything. Last year because of that I only really ate once a day and that was only two slices of toast, my academic life is a mess but slowly getting rebuilt. Most of the time I am generally doing things alone and rarely participate in group work even if its groups of two, I will just sit there and do the work myself. A few years ago I blamed it for practically everything which happened to me and wished I was someone else, then I thought what would happen if I still remained as I was even without AS. That lead to my first depression. I am also quick to shift my misfortune onto others. The first day back at school this year no-one really talked to me, so I stopped going, not believing I knew the reason, but after a dream I found out sub-consciously I blamed them because they didn't really talk to me. I now know its my own fault. I haven't really been back at school since shortly after the Christmas holidays last year and I was only in between 10-12 or 12-3 and was usually in learning support only really going to ICT and some science classes. The main thing I believe which has helped would be the support dog I got in December, in the past 3 months I have improved faster and have been more outgoing than I have since I was around 6-7 years old. Other than that it would be some anime and medication. I am very bad at seeing things through, quitting multiple clubs at school and plenty of out of school activities. I am also very ignorant about things that don't affect me, whether it be some else is ill or being bullied and so forth. There are also only 3 people I hold actually respect for, my gran and granddad, and the man who cleans the streets in the village. My gran and granddad have to look after my great grandmother and another relative, and before Christmas another person who they were told required 3 people to take care of at a time. The street cleaner because he cleans the enter village paving by hand/tools which is good considering I live in a high trafficked village because of a bridge, as well as the amount of tractors which drive through. Mostly I am like most people with AS but will don't really believe I am, compared to other people I know of (personally or not) I'm don't believe I'm that intelligent despite test scores saying otherwise. I do have and active mind, after seeing something that interests me it will be stuck in my head for years. Right now I have played out OCs in different anime whether I'm standing or laying down. I can be obsessive not wanting to stop doing something after starting despite how long it may take. Another strange thing about me is that while I look forward to change I hate it when it happens which is probably the only thing I really fear, I can cope with most things besides for quick change and things which seem unstable. I can be pessimistic at times, and probably evil, on long journeys my mind can start to think of the worst case scenarios, but always keeps me alive while everyone else dies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lonk Posted March 9, 2015 Report Share Posted March 9, 2015 I have Asperger's. It's a double-edged blade... if the sharper end of the blade is going against the user. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evilfusion Posted March 10, 2015 Report Share Posted March 10, 2015 A lot of people apparently have Asperger's. As do I, actually. My official diagnosis is ADD, but it was clarified to me that it is definitely Asperger's, but something about insurance companies. I can't say I've worried about the things you mentioned, although I do worry about heart attack and appendicitis, as those are my two greatest health-related fears. I'm sure it's no secret that I'm not particularly emotionally expressive and I prefer to be distant from people. That said, I'm perfectly nice enough if people don't get on my nerves. Which in itself seems completely random. Really, I usually manage just fine. I like to analyze my behavior quirks and reactions, both emotional and logical, to get a better idea of how I function so that I know what types of pitfalls to avoid and how to cope with things if I realize that my reactions are inappropriate. All in all, I'm an extremely logical person, preferring reason to emotion. My greatest weakness is my sporadic attention span and especially my sporadic interests. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rodrigo Posted March 10, 2015 Report Share Posted March 10, 2015 TIL half of YCM has Aspberger's, which makes me wonder if I have it too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agro Posted March 10, 2015 Report Share Posted March 10, 2015 you're on a random forum for making yugioh cards. everyone here has aspergers. I was home educated from my eighth year at School, mostly because I felt the work was too easy and the people being immature frustrated me. I get on with people just fine, so long as I deem them sensible enough, essentially. I think this is basically the problem. no shit that's a problem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resident Fascist Posted March 10, 2015 Author Report Share Posted March 10, 2015 no shit that's a problem. Yeah that was a bit of a daft statement, I do that sometimes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simping For Hina Posted March 10, 2015 Report Share Posted March 10, 2015 I don't have asperger's, agro. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Crouton Posted March 10, 2015 Report Share Posted March 10, 2015 According to some recent medical journal, Asperger's is no longer a thing, and is now reclassified as part of autism. I learned this when a doctor recently re-diagnosed me with Autism from Asperger's. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agro Posted March 10, 2015 Report Share Posted March 10, 2015 asperger's was always autism, they just don't want to use a specific name for it anymoreI don't have asperger's, agro.you got time, don't worry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nathanael D. Striker Posted March 10, 2015 Report Share Posted March 10, 2015 Hello, my name is Striker and I also have Asperger's. We have a love/hate relationship tbh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
(GigaDrillBreaker) Posted March 10, 2015 Report Share Posted March 10, 2015 I don't have asperger's. I have ADHD. Like, ACTUAL ADHD, not the misdiagnosis tacked on literally every 90s kid. My little brother has Asperger's but it is 1 am and I don't want to talk about him right now. My ADHD really does affect me, to be totally honest. I have trouble maintaining focus on much of anything, and barely managed to graduate from high school. When I don't get my medication, I can occasionally be blatantly rude (not even in the funny way) without realizing it. It sucks. But, despite how difficult it occasionally makes life, I refuse to let it define me. Yeah, I have ADHD, but it is not the root of all my flaws. To act like it is would be to discredit the illness itself, and I hate when people try to blame unrelated mistakes on mental illness. Please keeo in mind, I am not accusing anyone in this thread of what I just said, just making a statement in regards to how people operate all over the world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LordCowCowCowCowCowCowCowCow Posted March 10, 2015 Report Share Posted March 10, 2015 Don't have Asperger's But I do have Generalized Anxiety Disorder so I do get the "can't stop thinking and worrying" thing. It's my entire life. You're most certainly not alone. *hugs* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resident Fascist Posted March 10, 2015 Author Report Share Posted March 10, 2015 I often tend to worry about irrational things or things formulated on badly constructed information. I'm actually a pretty intelligent guy, I'm just... Kind of a hypochondriac at times. If I get a chest pain, it's not because I lay badly, ate too quick or similar, I must be dying. Someone says something on the internet? Must be true. I let tiny things affect me so much. I just sometimes worry that I have no future and that everything is bleak and I will end up succumbing to fears and depression again. While I know that isn't likely to happen, and my logical rational side knows why, I just have this worry about it all. I should hopefully get a job soon, hopefully that will help. I honestly feel doing nothing is my biggest burden right now. I also tend to overthink something so much that my mind gets addicted to thinking the same thing and it loses all sense of meaning. It just repeats over and over, like you have the same thought going on for a long time, regardless of if it remains relevant or not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.