Yu-Gi-Oh! GX! The Fan Fic (UPDATE: Episode 45 Started! Here's where it gets serious.)

[Weather Report - Stand]

Yes, his attack DID in fact, in my story... GO OVER NIIIINE!!!!! I just wanted to show how badass Syrus could get when he felt like it.

[Weather Report - Stand]

Please, guys, I need more ideas for T.V. jokes! PM me something cool, why don'cha? I could give you some credit...

 

Plus, happy 1/4 of a season completion, yay! I don't think I'll abandon tis story anytime soon!

 

[spoiler=Episode Thirteen: Formula for Sucess]

[spoiler=Part One]

Jaden and his peeps were watching television. Apparently, it was the dub of Beyblade. Tyson Granger and Kai Hitawari were getting ready for a Beyblade battle, or whatever they’re called! “LET IT RIIIIP!” they cried, letting loose their battle-tops!

“Y’know,” Syrus said, “whenever they said that, I thought it was a fart joke.”

“What were you expecting,” Jaden asked, “a GOOD joke? It’s HARD to make a good weekly T.V. joke!”

 

Yu-Gi-Oh! GX! The Fan Fic

Episode 13: Formula for Success

Part One

 

The guitar sounded pretty sporty today, as we open up to the gym, with an open roof, letting in the sun-shiney day. The boys were playing baseball. The bases were loaded, and Jaden was up at bat. “C’mon, Jaden!” some guy yelled.

“You ‘kin hit it!” another said.

“If you don’t score, I’ll kick your ass!!” a bully threatened.

“That’s right, Jaden,” Syrus warned, “be careful! You DON’T want some guy sticking his foot up your butt! It hurts!”

Oh, I’ll score alright, Jaden told himself, stepping up to the plate. First, I’ll hit the ball out the roof and score. Then the guy on third base’ll score, then the guy on second base’ll score, and lastly, the guy on first’ll score. And then , I’ll REALLY score, if y’know what I mean, yo! Hohohohoho! But really, he wasn’t going to really score for about twenty more years.

 

Bottom of the eighth. The opposing squad, the Yellow Yellers, had three points. If Jaden could pull this off, then the Red Rockers would have four points, giving them the game. “Wait!” Bastion cried, running onto the scene. “I’m sorry I’m late! I was studying some attack point quantum mechanics and lost track of time!”

“What did you study?” asked a bamboozled kid.

“What?”

“Huh?”

“I’m here, so it’s all okay now.” The kid just stared at him as he walked over to the pitcher’s mound.

That guy’s bananas, he thought to himself.BANANAS!!

“Hey, wait up!” Piggybank, that random girl from the last episode, charged out of the locker rooms and to Bastion’s side. “What, did you forget me?”

“You’re creeping me out,” Bastion admitted.

 

“Who IS that broad?” a guy asked.

“And why’d she go through the BOY’S locker room? Girls don’t go THERE!” another immature guy whined.

“I hear that she’s a Bastion fangirl!”

“Aren’t we ALL a bit too young to have fangirls?”

“The LOCKER ROOM, guys,” the boy stressed, “the LOCKER ROOM!!”

“What’s up with her ears?”

“I heard she’s a stalker.”

“I heard that she’s a character made up for the heck of it.”

“I heard that she was introduced because there aren’t enough girls at this school,” a smart kid supposed.

“Well, which is it?”

“I guess it’s just a little of all of ‘em,” a guy concluded, “a lil’ of all of ‘em.”

 

“Hey, who the heck’s she, Bastion?” Jaden asked, pointing his bat menacingly at Bastion. “If you don’t spill it, I swear I’m hitting someone with my bat!”

Bastion looked at Piggybank over his shoulder and said, “Oh, she’s a fangirl stalker with pig ears lampooning the cat ear fetish (and sub-type bunny ear fetish) and thought up of on the spot and used in order to help support the fact that we need more female duelists here with names.”

“Oh, okay, yo.” Jaden got into a batting stance and Bastion got into place.

“I hope you’re ready for me to, heheh, BRING the HEAT,” Bastion chuckled, as he CAUGHT ON FIRE!!

“Oh no!” Piggybank tossed a closed water bottle at Bastion, which appropriately put out the fires anyway.

“Er, well, as I was saying, this one’s commin’ in RED HOT!!”

“Oh, don’t you get ME started on RED, dude!” Jaden sniffed.

 

And then… anybody who was really engrossed in that was interrupted by the irritating theme song, thus screwing them over.

 

But then we’re back!

 

“I hope you’re ready for something with some bite!” Bastion warned! He pulled back, flung the ball, and it did something cool. It turned into THREE separate baseballs!

“Crap, yo!” Jaden swung at the two new ones, which suddenly turned into smoke upon impact. “Then where’s the last one…?” he asked himself. He looked around and then froze. A large tiger pounced upon him! “Yeow, yo! It really DOES have some bite!!” he yelped as it bit into his arm. Then it turned back into a simple baseball and bounced into the catcher’s mitt.

“C’mon, Jaden, play it like it’s a card game!” Syrus shouted! “Then you’ll win for sure, mister YU-ki!”

“OOH, BASTION, YOU’RE THE GREATEST!!” Piggybank squealed!

“Shut up, ya dumb broad!” Jaden roared! “It’s not fair! We DID NOT sanction the usage of Secret Baseball Techniques Twenty-Four OR Seventy-Five!” He was pelted by pennies. “Ow! What?!” Piggybank stopped throwing pennies at him.

 

“Stop acting like you’re better than Bastion! He’ll beat your ass up in a second!” Piggybank reached inside of her slot-head again and threw a nickel at Jaden.

“Ow!” He turned to Bastion. “Bastion, make your fan stop!”

“I clearly don’t know who she is,” Bastion admitted, tossing two more baseballs into the catcher’s mitt.

“Strike out,” Barry the Beginner (see chapter four or something) called, as he was the umpire. He was secretly vying for Baseball Barry to be his nickname, but it was already taken…

“I didn’t even see him… aw, Syrus, what went wrong?” Jaden asked.

“You didn’t play like it was a duel,” Syrus sighed.

“I CAN’T if there’s no CARDS, Syrus.”

“WE NEED A RED PITCHER.”

“I’m gonna get my baseball game on!” Jaden chuckled, running onto the pitcher’s mound.

“BOO,” somebody said.

 

“Gimme your best shot,” Bastion smirked.

“Awright, I’m gonna throw down a strike out down!” Jaden exclaimed, tossing his baseball straight into the ground, where it bounced over to Barry.

Now, if the science of baseball has taught me anything…

“Ball,” Barry called.

“Okay, throw it back, dude,” said Jaden.

“Sorry, but I’m a Ra Yellow, so I’m gonna hold onto it for a minute.”

YES! Science has not forsaken me! Bastion took off, stealing first base!

“Dude! Throw the frickin’ ball already!” Jaden ordered!

“No,” Barry answered. Then Bastion stole home base and was replaced by another Ra Yellow.

“Holy crap, man! You’re just gonna let’m do that?!”

“Sure.” Four more players charged onto the field.

“This has GOT to be cheating!!”

“No, they’re just stealing bases.” Then some Slifer Reds ran onto the field.

 

“What do you think you’re doing?!” Jaden asked.

“We switch teams, since losing sucks,” one said.

“Sorry, Jay,” Syrus apologized, running by, “but you didn’t play it like a duel.” Soon enough, the scoreboard said ‘Yellow Yellers: 589 Jaden Yuki: 0, sucks’

“Who wrote that?!”

Meanwhile, Crowler was studying the game from inside of an elaborate but large baseball costume, in order to remain unnoticed. “Hmm,” it studied, “that Bastion kid hasn’t just UTTERLY CRUSHED Jaden Yucky, but he broke baseball, too. This is perfect, maybe I can find a NEW prodigy other than Chazz to defeat Yucky-boy…”

“Hey, Crowler, huh,” Deep-Voice Dobbson waved.

“Shut up, I’m looking for a kid to beat Yucky-boy.”

“Okay, huh, teach, huh.”

 

Bastion had exited the locker rooms about a half-hour later, with the scores at 16097 to 0. “I had no idea that people could run across bases so much!” he smirked. He took out a sports drink and gulped it down.

“BastiOOOOOOOON!!” Piggybank glomped him from above!

“Don’t drop down on people, you’re wearing a skirt.”

“I’m amazed! You actually BROKE a great American and slightly less great Japanese pastime!” Piggybank recounted. “That was the best baseball-related thing I’ve ever seen somebody do single-handedly!”

“What about me?” Barry the Beginner asked.

“Hey,” some average-looking, kinda tall brown haired boy said, “you’re Bastion, right?” He was also Ra Yellow.

“Yeah.”

“I was wondering,” the boy went on, “can I join your fan club?” He pointed to Piggybank, who was still sitting on Bastion. “I’m not attracted to you, I just think that you’d be a great role model for the kids.”

“Sure, what’s your name?”

“My name… is Baseball Bob.” Baseball Bob took out an Ultimate Baseball Kid card. “I shall become a worthy companion who was amazed at your baseball skills.”

“Dah, okay.” And so, Bastion had gained another apprentice, even though Piggybank just kinda appeared earlier.

“Wow,” some Obelisk Blue with fluffy hair gasped from afar, “that guy has fans. I must learn more!”

 

Then Crowler approached Bastion. “Hey, Bastion, would you like to be my apprentice?” it asked.

“Why are you dressed up in a baseball suit?” the British boy asked. Indeed, Crowler forgot to take it off.

“Erm, to celebrate your crushing victory over Jaden Yuki? Anyways, you’ll get a lot of perks if you join up with me, like… you get to duel Jaden.”

“Count me in!” Bastion agreed, suddenly rising to the occasion. “I’ll duel him into such a tie match that his head’ll spin!”

“Oh, thanks.” Then Crowler walked away. All according to plan… heheheh!

 

THE! NEXT!! DAY!!!

Chazz Princeton walked into Spell Cards and You class, taught by Crowler, and sat down in his seat. “Yo, I want a club sandwich, some saltines, a hot dog with onions, and one of those southern American ‘Sweet Teas’. Now.”

“No way,” replied an Obelisk Blue. “We don’t follow YOUR orders anymore.”

“But you ALWAYS follow my orders! What’s wrong with today?”

“Sorry, bub,” a taller Obelisk Blue chuckled, “but didn’t you know that sweet tea is just iced tea with sugar in it? And we don’t respect you anymore because Bastion Misawa’s Crowler’s new apprentice.”

Bastion Misawa?! The kid who couldn’t win a duel to save his life—but only tie it?! “But I’m ALWAYS mum’s apprentice! What’s wrong with today?”

“Also,” said the guy with fluffy hair from the day before, “that’s my seat. Get out of it.”

“But this is ALWAYS my seat! What’s wrong with today?”

“You stole it from me when you were Crowler’s apprentice, and now I want it back,” the boy forever known as Fluffy Fred (fluffy hair for the win!) stated. “Get up now, jerk-wad.”

“WHAT. DID. YOU. JUST. SAY.” Chazz growled. “DID YOU JUST TELL ME TO DO SOMETHING?! “

“Did I stutter? Gimme me back my chair so that I can give it back to The King.”

“The King?!” Bastion walked over. He had a badge that said ‘Baseball King’ on it.

“Ah, hello, Chazz,” he greeted. Then he walked over to his seat.

“N-no, wait!” Fluffy Fred picked up Chazz and pushed Bastion into the seat instead.

“Ow.”

“Ow! Put me down! And don’t drop me, since that’s what people always do on television!” Fluffy Fred placed Chazz on the floor. “Damn fools…” Chazz, defeated, slinked back into his chair, which was now what used to be Bastion’s chair. Fluffy Fred sat down next to Bastion, in the last empty chair in class.

“Oh, sorry, but we just got MYSTERIOUSLY transferred here,” Baseball Bob said, walking over with Piggybank.

“Hi, Bastion!” Piggybank greeted. Bastion looked around in deep thought. Hmm, if what I know about the science of human nature is correct…

“Hey, you, could you please move for my friend?” Bastion asked Fluffy Fred.

“Okay, you da’ King!” Fluffy Fred sat on the ground as Baseball Bob sat in his new old chair, and Piggybank stationed herself in Bastion’s lap.

 

Crowler entered the room. “Okay, students, take out your rule books that came in your Starter Decks and turn to the Spell Cards section,” it said, still wearing that baseball costume.

“MUM!!” Chazz screeched! “WHY DID YOU CHOOSE MISAWA OVERR ME, YOUR OWN FLESH AND BLOOD?! AND WHAT’S WITH THAT COSTUME?!”

“Oh, I’m just OH SO full of the baseball spirit ever since Bastion broke the game yesterday,” Crowler snickered.

“And I helped!” Barry the Beginner said, ignored.

“Plus, you lost to Jaden Yucky.”

“No I didn’t!” Chazz protested!

“When you dueled him on episode two!” Crowler said, looking at an episode guide. “You dueled Jaden Yuki, but your game was cut short due to you leaving the arena, resulting in a tie!”

“B-but-”

“And the rules state that if an upperclassman loses to one of lower house status, then the game goes to the idiot who’s still in a non-blue house!” Crowler pointed to page four in the manual.

“There’s no such rule!” Chazz growled, checking for himself. He scanned the page until he read what Crowler had just described. Son of a gun… “D…dammit…” I can’t just let it end like this! “MISAWA!!” he roared, shaking the foundations of the classroom!

“Yes?” Bastion responded.

“I challenge you to a duel! And the loser leaves this school forever (unless they come back), YOU GOT THAT?!”

Chazz had made a stupid decision.

“Eh, okay.”

Chazz had made a stupid decision.

“Perfect.” Chazz sat back down, smug and sure of himself. Heh, fool didn’t see THAT commin’… AW, CRAP!! He remembered the rule. The rule he’d just read. The one that explained how he lost to Jaden. Did… I just condemn myself?!

Chazz had made a stupid decision.

 

LATER! THAT!! DAY!!!

Some guy knocked on Jaden, Syrus, and Koala Ko Ala’s door. “I’ll get it,” Koala Ko Ala helpfully said, leaping off of the bunk bed and over to the door. He opened it up, and in came Piggybank!

“Oh no, she’s gonna throw money at me!” Jaden cried!

“Isn’t it a GOOD thing when people throw money at you? Anyways, who’re you?” Koala Ko Ala asked.

“I’m here to deliver… a note.” Piggybank dramatically pulled out a folded piece of paper from behind her back. It said ‘NOTE’.

“’Note’,” Syrus read.

“Open it up, dude!” Jaden urged excitedly. Syrus opened it up and read it.

“It says for me and Jaden to come to the beach to learn the secret to how Bastion won baseball yesterday. That’s pretty obvious, but he seems a bit unstable and we should humor him for today.”

“Aw, YOU’RE the unstable one, yo!”

“W-w-w-w-what about me?!” Koala Ko Ala asked, overreacting. “Why didn’t he invite me?!”

“Have you ever been inside of the same frame before?” Piggybank challenged.

“No.”

“Well, there you go. C’mon guys.” And so, the three left the building, leaving Koala Ko Ala to cry himself to sleep with a large sandwich.

 

A FEW! MINUTES!! LATER!!!

Bastion, Baseball Bob, and Fluffy Fred were sitting on the beach near the Ra Mansion. They were stationed around something that was obviously a spear wrapped up in a blanket. “Yo, we’re here, yo!” Jaden called, as he approached with his peeps.

“Ah, Jaden, you’re finally here. And Syrus,” Bastion realized.

“So are you gonna show us now?” Fluffy Fred excitedly asked.

“Yeah, tell us how you did that trick!”

“Elementary, my dear Baseball Bob, Fluffy Fred, Jaden Yuki and Syrus Truesdale.”

“And me!” Piggybank added, unsuccessfully.

 

Bastion stood up and held up the spear. Remember how he used a spear against the hot dog mob? That proved how skilled he was with one! He tore the blanket off, revealing its shiny, ebon, metal handle and amazingly-spiky blade. His ‘Baseball King’ badge shone brightly in the sunlight.

But what does that have to do with baseball? everybody else thought.

Bastion twirled the spear into the air, caught it, and threw it at a fish in the water several feet out. He leaped out and grabbed the handle! He pushed off of the tiny fish, flipped off with spear, held it up into the heavens and roared, “JIBBER-JABBER!!” Lightning struck the spear twice—in the same spot! He slowly floated down and stabbed his weapon into the beach. The sky cleared up.

But what does that have to do with baseball? everybody else thought.

Then the spear fell apart into a baseball bat covered in random mathematical equations.

OOOOOOOOH, everybody else thought.

What was the point of THAT?! Syrus thought to himself.

Shut up, Syrus.

Yeah, shut up, Syrus.

 

The kiddies ran up to Bastion and his cool bat, kicking away some spear debris in their wake. “What’s with all the writing?” Baseball Bob innocently asked.

“Simple. All of these scientific equations? THEY MAP OUT THE SCIENTIFIC SOLUTION TO BASEBALL.” Bastion flashed a flashy grin. “And now, it’s impossible for me to lose.”

“I get it now, yo!” Jaden said, studying the bat. “THAT’S how you do that trick!”

“Now I know how to hit a homer!” Fluffy Fred cheered!

“Anyways, who wants to see where I live?” Bastion suggested.

“OOH OOH ME ME I DO I DO!!” As Bastion carelessly threw his bat away and walked toward the mansion, the small crowd clamored over to him.

 

Around three minutes later, the group had arrived at Chez Bastion. “Jaden, how useless has the episode been so far?” Syrus asked a bouncy Jaden.

“Around 70% of it’s been made up, but who cares?! We get to see where a genius lives!”

“He’s dumb, he never wins a duel!” Syrus complained further.

“But he NEVER LOSES.”

“Aw man you got me.”

“And here we are!” Bastion loudly announced, opening the door to his small apartment room. It was pretty normal-looking, except that THERE WAS WRITING ON ALL THE WALLS, FLOOR AND CELING BITS!!

“Woah, this is just what I thought a CRAZY man’s room resembled, but I was wrong!” Baseball Bob gasped.

“As you can see,” Bastion said with his laser pointer, pointing at different random mathematical equations, “I have successfully figured out how to master Spells, Traps, and monsters to their fullest potential, by discovering the science behind them all!!”

“I don’t get it, but that means it’s working!” said Fluffy Fred.

“It’s like an epiphany or something!” Jaden celebrated!

“I don’t have anything of merit to add to this conversation…” Syrus moped.

“Well who cares,” Piggybank rudely blurted out, “Bastion’s a genius!!”

“We knew that.”

“SHUT UP, WHY DON’CHA?!”

No wonder she’s the least popular character in the story, Bastion thought. He pulled out some buckets of paint. “Who wants to paint my room because I became Crowler’s new apprentice and replaced Chazz and am moving to the Obelisk Blue dorm so I need to clean this place up before I leave?”

“WE DO!!” The idiots all began picking up paint brushes and started painting the walls, as Bastion expertly sneaked out through the door. Heh, the science of HUMAN NATURE never fails. Thank you so much, Tom Sawyer, for this excellent idea.

“I SHUR do loves me some paintin’!” Jaden laughed.

 

LATER! THAT!! NIGHT!!!

“… ya got that, Chaaazz?” said some irritating-sounding guy on a television screen deep in the heart of the Obelisk Blue Castle, in Chazz’s privately large room. Yeah, it was a waste of money to provide each student with a huge suite. Who cares?

“Yeah, yeah,” Chazz answered.

“I can’t HEAR you,” another guy stressed.

“I said YEAH, idiot.”

“Good.” Two men were on Chazz’s T.V., who apparently had the abilities to both make an auto-split-screen effect, while the other could talk through television screens. One had a normal businessman style, while the other had a cool hairstyle, over-the-top like you’d expect from Yu-Gi-Oh, but with a more suave-ish touch.

“The Princeton Brothers have a PLAN, Chazz, and we’re gonna follow THROUGH with it,” the cooler one said, in a voice like he was talking to a little kid.

“You sound stupid, you know.”

“You had BETTER be following through on YOUR end, Chazz,” the boring one grunted. “Imagine it, the world of politics, finance, and card games! They’d all be ours!”

“Hey, but I reckon that finance and duel monsters kinda go hand-in-hand, y’all,” Billy Hills said.

“Yeah, what makes DUEL MONSTERS so important, huh, you two, huh?” asked Deep-Voice Dobbson.

 

“Wh-what the hell, Chazz?! I thought you told me nobody else was in here!!” the cooler one yelled!

“I thought so, too!”

“Well, get them out of here!” the boring guy ordered.

“Yikes, I reckon, huh!!” The two young men were forced out of the room.

“Anyways,” the boring guy continued, “once we control those three industries, we will control the entire world!!” Cut to: a picture with Chazz and his two brothers in front of a random backdrop. The elder two were dressed in formal business attire, while Chazz was just in his school uniform, looking out of place.

 

Yes, they were the three Princeton Brothers! Chazz, the guy who duels well, Zazz, the guy who knows his government trivia, and Slade, the one with the odd-name-out! Slade had the cooler look, so it didn’t matter much.

“So anyways, go out there and win tomorrow, no matter what, LITTLE BROTHER,” Slade hissed in his “lil’ kids story time” voice.

“If this plan fails because of you making a stupid bet, I swear, I’m giving you the BIGGEST noogie when I see you again!” Zazz threatened, shaking his fist.

“Yow!” Chazz recoiled. “Uh, okay, I’m sure I’ll win with my sub-par deck type! Because I’m good like that, y’know!”

 

The television blipped off. How are we supposed to rule the world like that? Chazz wondered. I’m just in it so I don’t get noogied. The others are just wasting their time, pathetic idiots… they’re just jealous because I’m the only one who was a son of Crowler and was created through bribery. Chazz wandered over to his window. Bastion, Baseball Bob, Piggybank, Fluffy Fred, Jaden and Syrus were all gathered around outside, with a campfire, tents, and what looked to be marshmallows. What’s he doing out there? Chazz thought. I know! He’s just trying to make me angry at him for stealing my spot from mum! No way, I’m just paranoid… Chazz closed his curtains and walked off.

 

“Welp,” Piggybank sighed, looking through binoculars, “Operation: Annoy Chazz is a bust.” She turned around and helped herself to marshmallows on a stick.

“Dang, I really thought it would work, too,” Bastion tsk’ed. “Anyways, thanks for accompanying me out here for camping due to my room being painted and such, but why in the name of all that is holy did you paint my personal computer?”

“We were in ‘da zone,” Jaden said.

“The zone of PAINTING,” Baseball Bob helpfully added, chewing on some s’mores.

 

Chazz soon enough had gotten the idea that it would be GREAT to break into Bastion’s room and do some evil crap. “Room 203,” Chazz read off of a door, “204, 205, Bastion. Aha, Bastion means it’s Bastion’s room!” Deep-Voice Dobbson stared at the door sign literally marked ‘Bastion’.

“That’s rather convenient, huh, Chazz, huh?” he remarked.

“I reckon it is,” Billy Hills nodded.

“SHADDAP!!” Chazz roared loudly! “YOUR VOICES ARE SCREWING UP EVERYTHING! THIS IS A COVERT MISSION, NUMB-SKULLS!!”

“SHUT UP OUT THERE!”

“Sorry,” Chazz told some angry guy or gal from outside. “Now, guys, let’s make this a clean break-in and get rid of ‘da goods.”

“’Da goods?!” the two gasped. “Okay, I reckon, huh!”

 

Using Deep-Voice Dobbson as a spiky battering ram, the three guys successfully broke into Bastion’s room! “Woah, it’s so bright, huh, Chazz?” Deep-Voice Dobson gasped, rubbing his injured head.

“Why’s it painted white?” asked Chazz. “Even the bed… even the windows—even the COMPUTER?! What kind of idiot IS this idiot?!”

“I reckon he painted over his cards too!” Billy Hills chuckled, looking at a random deck lying on the computer table. Chazz picked up a few cards. Each side was perfectly painted. Those idiots sure do a thorough job.

“Meh, let’s throw ‘em into the ocean, anyway. You know how people always seem to make a miraculous comeback, so let’s not even give him the satisfaction of getting these worthless cards and making then usable again somehow.”

And so, the boys cheated their way into throwing some cards into the ocean.

 

Meanwhile, on the semi-nearby docks of Duel Academy, the Dorothy lady who works at the card shop was watching a ship sail off, just after leaving a shipment of NEW CARDS!! for the island to enjoy. Some white cards floated by on the surf. Placing a crate labeled ‘FRAGILE CARDS’ onto her truck-thing from an earlier episode, she inspected them from afar. “Hm, are those… no, they couldn’t be… wait, maybe… oh, wait, no… OH MY GOSH!!”

 

THE! NEXT!! MORNING!!!

The kids camping out were suddenly jolted awake by a roaring truck stopping right next to Syrus’s head. “WAAAAGH!!” Syrus screamed!

Everybody woke up and paid close attention as Ms. Dorothy leaped out of her truck and yelled, “IS THIS YOUR CARD?!” She held out a painted card… slightly washed up and clean in one bit, revealing the letters ‘f Destr’ and part of a grenade in front of a fiery background!

“Is that a Ring of Destruction card?” Bastion inquired, steadying his ‘Baseball King’ badge. No, it will always be part of his uniform.

“Yes!”

“Oh, Bastion!” Piggybank sobbed, grabbing Bastion close. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t prevent this from happening!”

“Those dang kids!” Dorothy cursed! “This wouldn’t have happened if it weren’t for those bad influences, and that rock n’ roll, and those Japanese comic books, and those inappropriate television shows—”

“Actually,” Baseball Bob stated, “if we’re in Japan already, you wouldn’t call them Japanese comic books. You’d just say comic books, or manga.”

“You almost ran over me…” Syrus complained, weeping.

“Oh, sorry, but we’ve got to bring the culprits to justice!” Dorothy preached on!

 

“Now hold on a second,” Bastion said, “do we REALLY know who did this?”

“CHAZZ.”

“BILLY HILLS.”

“THAT DEEP-VOICED GUY.”

“Maybe,” Bastion agreed, “but what if it WASN’T? They really don’t want me to be promoted to Obelisk Blue, but what if it was somebody else, who wanted to blame everything on Chazz, hmm?”

“Sure, that makes sense,” Fluffy Fred thought aloud, “but what if you’re wrong?”

“How many people hate Chazz?”

“Around thirty-seven.”

“And how many would be capable of thinking up of such an ingenious plan?”

“Around eight or so.”

“So,” Bastion concluded, “do you want to possibly waste somebody else’s time, which could result in getting them unrightfully expelled—”

“Which would probably make them be unable to use their most perfect skill,” Syrus picked up, “forcing them to work a dead-end job until they snap under pressure, kill eight or so men, give or take, and get shot by policemen…”

“Exactly!” Bastion yelled! “If I were to press charges, I could be unknowingly aiding in the deaths of NINE innocent men! I cannot live knowing that! For I know the TRUE SCIENCE BEHIND THE HEARTS OF MEN AND MINDS OF THE POPULACE!! I CANNOT GO ON LIKE THAT!! BECAUSE I CARRY TWO COPIES OF MY DECK!!” He pulled out an exact copy of his old tie match deck.

“… Woah,” the crowd simultaneously gasped.

“Now,” Bastion coughed, “let’s get in on some dueling action.”

 

TO BE CONTINUED!!

 

 

[spoiler=Part Two]

Yu-Gi-Oh! GX! The Fan Fic

Episode 13: The Formula for Success

Part Two

 

Around a few minutes after the last scene, the trio of Jaden, Syrus and Bastion came runnin’ into the Duel Dome, housing Crowler and Chazz. “Ah, so you made it, Bastion?” Crowler asked, quite obviously right. It was also still wearing that suit. Right behind the FIRST trio came all of Bastion’s followers.

“How long have you been WEARING that suit, dude?” Fluffy Fred disgustedly asked.

“How long have you been wearing YOUR clothes?”

“Good point.”

“HEY!!” Jaden flipped onto the stage and landed on his toes, right next to Chazz, and pointed at his nose! “You threw Bastion’s cards into the ocean, yo! Admit it!”

“HIYAH, HUH-RECKON!!” Billy Hills and Deep-Voice Dobbson came out from nowhere, crushing Jaden’s face in between their elbows!

“AARGH, MAH FACE!!” Jaden reeled back, gripping his pained face!

“How DARE you accuse Chazz, huh, JADEN, huh?” Deep-Voice Dobbson’s voice sounded harsh and accusing.

“Billy and Dobbson were with me last night all the time, so OF COURSE they don’t have to lie about my innocence,” Chazz lied.

“Why, you bastard…” growled Piggybank, standing around the other pro-Bastion angry people group.

“Hey, calm down, guys, we talked about this,” Bastion pleaded, trying to calm them down.

 

“NOT SO FAST!!” cried out a feminine voice!

“GASP!!” screamed the group. Alexis and Zane had entered the scene!

“Alexis and Zane just entered the scene!” Syrus cried!

“Who’s she again?” Baseball Bob wondered.

Alexis walked right up to Chazz, who gulped, and shouted, “LIAR!! We saw you do it, too!”

“Gulp,” Chazz gulped.

 

Earlier that morning, Alexis and Zane were doin’ some hot n’ steamy stuff I guess I can’t say here. By the piers. How kinky?

“We’re gonna dump the cards here, huh, Chazz, huh?”

Alexis pushed Zane away for a second and listened. “Shut UP, Dobbson!! We’re trying to dump Bastion’s cards here!” Aleixs and Zane, using crates for strategic cover, peered out at three MYSTERIOUS figures over by the lighthouse.

“But why’re we dumpin’ them again, Chazz, I reckon I forgot.”

“Be-CAUSE!! If I lose to Bastion Misawa, then my reputation shall be forever tarnished, and I’ll get a noogie through some means I don’t care to list out!”

“And we, Deep-Voiced Dobbson, huh, and Billy Hills, huh, are assisting you, Chazz Princeton, in this great adventure?”

“Yes, YES, YES!! GOSH, YOU’RE SO STUPID!! KILL YOURSELVES OR SOMETHING, BECAUSE I, CHAZZ PRINCETON, AM DUMPING BASTION MISAWA’S CARDS INTO THE OCEAN!!”

 

“And I have ‘da tape to prove it!!” Nancy Wut giggled, popping out from the upper-right corner of your television screen.

“Where’d you come from?!” gasped Syrus.

“Who cares?!” Angry McArgue yelled, suddenly appearing next to Syrus.

“WAAAGH!!”

“Shouldn’t you be more concerned with the fact that Nancy caught Alexis and Zane ***** ***** **** and ***** *** while watching Chazz early in the morning ON TAPE?”

“WHAT?! Anyways, I’ll deal with that later.” Alexis turned back to the incredibly sweaty Chazz. “Normally, I wouldn’t snitch, but you DON’T go messing with somebody else’s CARDS in THIS school.”

“Ugh, curses!” Chazz grunted, spitting out some blood as if he’d been punched in the gut really hard.

 

“Yeah, no joke, that’s low for even YOU!” Jaden agreed, punching Chazz in the gut.

“OW! Why’d you hit me?! GET’M!!” Billy Hills and Deep-Voiced Dobbson got into battle mode, getting red and blue glowing eyes, respectively.

“Oh no you DON’T!!” Baseball Bob took out a baseball bat. Fluffy Fred took out brass knuckles. Piggybank took out some razor-sharp dollar bills. “We’ll handle them, boss, go on ahead and duel.”

“Thanks,” Bastion thanked, “but you really don’t have to fight and stuff—”

“But they’ll kill ME!!” Jaden complained, with Syrus as a shield.

“Please put me down, Jaden.”

“Oh, okay.” Bastion pointed at them. “Alright team, you first mission as the Bastion Baseball Wreckers Gang: protect Jaden and Syrus!”

“OKAY!!” They all leaped at those two DANG Blues!

 

Billy Hills turned to Chazz. “Y’know, if you lose this match and leave forever, I reckon us two’ll never respect y’all, and plus we’ll never follow you around again,” he quickly whispered.

“I know. Just get them.”

“Okay, I reckon.” And so, in the background, a randomly epic battle began taking place.

Why am I here if I don’t have any lines? Zane wondered, as Alexis, he, and Alexis’s two random friends left… without another word.

 

“Anyways,” Chazz shrugged, “if you ARE out of a deck, which you seem to be, then you’ll have to forfeit the game!”

“No.”

“What?!”

“I said NO!!” Bastion gripped both sides of his coat. “You know what I did with all of that science knowledge on card games?!” Ripping his coat off epically, with six deck boxes strapped to his chest, he roared, straight to the heavens, “I HAVE CREATED SIX MORE DECKS OF THE SAME KIND!!” Luckily, the men weren’t grossed out and the ladies weren’t excited because Bastion had on another shirt underneath. It was dark green, if you’re curious.

“That’s so stupid!” Chazz recoiled, shielding his eyes. He held out his trusty Duel Monsters deck! “I don’t care HOW many decks you have, but isn’t it smart to just have ONE?! You save a lot of money, and stuff! Now let’s do this thing already!”

“Don’cha mean… let’s DUEL this?!” Jaden suggested.

“No.”

“BOO,” someone said.

 

“Duel disk, on!” commanded Bastion! His duel disk turned on, and he almost threw his deck into the card playing device.

“I wish I had an automatic duel disk,” Syrus sighed.

“Actually, it’s NOT voice activated,” Bastion admitted.

“Hubba-WHA?!”

“You’re just a problem to be solved, Chazz,” Bastion ‘mocked’, “a theorem to be cracked! You’re finished!”

“That was SUCH a geeky threat,” Chazz retorted!

“DUEL!!”

(Bastion: 4000 Life Points, Chazz Cheater-Pants: 4000 Life Points)

“H-hey, what’s up with the Life Point counter?!” Chazz gasped!

“Don’t look at me,” Crowler unhelpfully suggested, still wearing its baseball suit.

“Nobody was looking at you!”

“Oh, well… don’t look at me.”

 

“I’ll ignore that and GET THIS THING STARTED!!” Chazz drew his card, but he was much more scared than he let on. Crap, I KNEW guys like that always made miraculous comebacks and stuff! This sucks! My only hope is to defeat him before he can use a Ring of Destruction… “I summon Cthonian Soldier!” Chazz exclaimed, summoning the familiarly sucky monster.

“GRR,” he growled. (Cthonian Soldier: 1200 Attack Points)

“Then I’ll set a card face-down and end my turn,” Chazz grunted.

 

“Do you, now?” Bastion challenged.

“Oh no, he’s gettin’ ready to BRING THE HEAT!” Jaden trembled.

“He’s ALWAYS ready to bring the heat!” corrected Piggybank from above.

“I agree!” Syrus agreed.

“I summon Hydrogeddon!” Bastion announced, summoning a water dinosaur hybrid for the ages!!

“HISSS, HISS HISS HISS,” it hissed. (Hydrogeddon: 1600 Attack Points, 1000 Defense Points)

“How appropriate!” Syrus smiled. “It’s ‘hydro’, plus ‘Armageddon’, the end of the world! I like THAT card.”

“Now attack Cthonian Soldier,” Bastion commanded, “with Hydro Gust!”

“PUH!!” The dinosaur spat out a gust of water! No, that does NOT work. Anyways, the brown, dirty water splashed onto the soldier and blew him up.

“Darn!” Chazz cursed, losing life points! (Chazz Cheater-Pants: 3600 Life Points) “Thanks, you activated his special ability!” Chazz thanked! “Now, YOU lose the same amount of Life Points as I just did.” Bastion lost some Life Points without any fanfare. (Bastion: 3600 Life Points)

“He just walked into THAT one,” Syrus syed. Or sighed, alternatively.

“Well, I’ll just use MY ability,” Bastion countered! “When Hydrogeddon beats a monster in battle, I can summon another copy from my deck! Rise, Hydrogeddon!!” And dramatically in a gush of water, a second Hydrogeddon was summoned from the earth! “Oh, and my Battle Phase is still not over.”

Oh, shi— Chazz mentally stopped himself. Wait, no, I’m not allowed to say that on this story. Um, something the kids can say, something the kids can say… oh, here’s something: Oh, poop. “Now, Hydro Gust!!”

“PUH!” The second Hydrogeddon emulated the first one’s triumph and spat out an identical spout of water.

“WAAAGH—BLUBLUBLUBLUBLUB!!” Chazz was struck in the face, comically knocking him upside down, mocking physics. (Chazz Cheater-Pants: 2000 Life Points) “GRR,” Chazz grr-ed, standing up once more, “I activate my Trap card, Call of the Haunted!” In a random blaze of lightning (don’t ask), Cthonian Soldier appeared again!

 

“What a DUMB move!” Syrus contradicted!

“No WONDER you’re Crowler’s protégé!” Jaden said.

“What’s that mean?!”

“I don’t know!”

“Anyways,” Chazz continued, “now I’ll use the card Inferno Reckless Summon!!” He activated a card featuring skeletons rising from the grave whilst getting blasted by laser beams. “Now we can summon any other copies of monsters we both control from anywhere! So I can summon two more soldiers and you get another stupid dinosaur.”

“That’s not nice, take it back!” screamed Piggybank, who was about forty feet in the air and punching Deep-Voice Dobbson in the kisser!

“Oh, well then I’m sorry. But I get my monsters!” Chazz summoned his two wimp monsters. The three soldiers got into an odd formation, which consisted of them all standing really closely to each other, but each one was either slightly further forward or backward than the next one. It looked kinda okay from the side, but I’m getting too far into it now, for just a single frame. I’ll go on ahead from here.

 

And so, a third dinosaur appeared on Bastion’s field. “That Chazz kid’s planning something drastic out there, yo,” Jaden figured, “as his monsters alone are really useless.”

“Now I activate the Equip Spell card, Cthonian Alliance!”

“See, I told ya.”

“This card gives Eight-Hundred Attack points to the equippee for each other copy of itself on the field!” Chazz narrated. One Cthonian Soldier was engulfed in a ray of purple light, although the card itself showed a guy being possessed by battle-spirits, I think. “Now his Attack points are… well, I’ll let the NERD figure it out.” He was struck in the head by a razor-sharp dollar bill! “OW!!”

“JERK!” Baseball Bob insulted.

“Gosh, sorry!” (Cthonian Soldier: 3600 Attack points, Chazz is rude) “Hey, I said sorry!! Gosh! Again!” Cthonian Soldier (the one from the huge light burst) grew two sizes, that day… so he was twice as big as the others. “ATTACK!” And so, the soldier cut a dinosaur in half. AND A GIANT DUST CLOUD CAME POURING OUT!!

“Ugh, my sinuses--!” Bastion cried! (Bastion: 1600 Life Points)

“This isn’t looking good,” Syrus mentioned.

 

“Fine, then, good show!” Bastion complimented! “But they don’t call me the King of Baseball for nothing! I’ll set a Trap card, and then summon my Oxygeddon card!” A pterodactyl made out of wind that thoroughly confused me appeared!

“KYAAR,” it screeched.

“Now attack that Cthonian Soldier with Vapor Scream!” commanded Bastion!

“EEEEEEK!!” it screamed, making the soldier blow up, as usual. (Chazz Cheater-Pants: 1400 Life Points)

“Well, you take damage, too!” Chazz reminded! “So, ha ha!” (Bastion: 1000 Life Points)

“Well, my turn’s not through, so my Hydrogeddon attacks another soldier!” Bastion announced. His dinosaur spat water. The soldier exploded. (Chazz Cheater-Pants: 1000 Life Points)

“What, do you keep forgetting or something?! Idiot! Just for that, I’m not even explaining it to you again!” (Bastion: 600 Life Points)

“Oh, I get it now,” Syrus figured out, “Bastion’s just attacking to bring down the Attack Points of the main soldier there!”

“Well, duh!” Jaden answered, patting his head.

“I’ll end this turn with one more face-down card,” Bastion said, setting a face-down card. Oh man, Chazz worried, He’s set two Traps this turn. Which one is Ring of Destruction?! Is one EVEN Ring of Destruction?! I’ve gotta hurry up and end this.

 

“Hmph, think your little Trap cards’ll save you this time? No way!” Chazz’s Cthonian Soldier, for some reason, began spinning like the Tazmanian Devil, as something has once done on this show before, except he was on FIRE!! “I tribute the last soldier, along with every card in my hand, in order to Special Summon Infernal Incinerator!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHA…” And so, as Chazz laughed maniacally, the tornado became a ball of flames, which shot out a ring of energy, which made it explode, and out of the explosion came a weird guy attached to the back of a giant red and black beast! Hey, if you want a good description, look it up for yourself. (Infernal Incinerator: 2800 Attack Points) “HA HAHAHAHA HA HAAAA!!” Chazz concluded laughing! “How’s it feel to face THIS monstrosity?! He gains 200 Attack Points for every monster you control, meaning he’s gonna kick your ass right outta the school!!” (Infernal Incinerator: 3400 Attack Points)

“That thing has 3400 Attack Points?!” Jaden gasped! “This turn Bastion’s gonna lose, no matter WHAT he attacks!”

“You’re right!” Syrus screamed! “AUUUUGH, THE HUMANITY OF IT ALL!!”

Baseball Bob decided that it was time for him to say something inspiring from up above, floating and fighting Deep-Voice Dobbson and Billy Hills with his trusty, trusty bat. “Bastion!” he cried! “You said you learned the science behind Duel Monsters, right? Well, if you’re the Baseball King, show us what you can—ugh!” Billy Hils punched him in the back of the head, knocking him out and into the bleachers!

“I reckon three strikes and ‘yer out, bub!” Billy one-lined.

“BOOOOOOOB!!” Bastion cried! And he did NOT say ‘boob’.

“Pay attention, loser!” Chazz ordered! “Infernal Incinerator, use Firestorm Blast!”

“HWAAAARRRRRRGH!!” Infernal Incinerator stood up straight, aimed at a Hydrogeddon, and spat out a maniacal (don’t ask how) twister of fire!

 

“USE THE TRAAAAAAAAAAP!!”

Damn, Chazz gulped, the Trap? Ring of Destruction?!

 

A flash of white light. A cool diamond-y barrier grew out of the floor, constructed of several cool pillars. It absorbed the fire and disappeared. “It’s Amorphic Barrier,” Bastion revealed, “and when I have three or more monsters, it negates your attack and ends the Battle Phase.”

“HOW SITUATIONAL!!”

“Be quiet, Syrus.”

“Well, good luck getting Ring of Destruction,” Chazz sneered, “you’re gonna need it if you want to actually WIN, Mr. I-Can’t-Win-a-Duel-Normally,-So-I’ll-Just-Make-BOTH-Of-Us-Lose!”

“I’m afraid there won’t BE a next turn.” Bastion drew his card. He stared at it and thought, Perfect.

 

Bastion’s theme song began playing out of nowhere. “Wha… what’s up with the music?!” Chazz uncomfortably asked. “Where’s it coming from? It doesn’t even match your character accurately!”

His opponent thought for a second. “UP YOUR ASS!!” Bastion retorted, finally, randomly. “I activate the Spell card, Bonding H2O!” A Spell card featuring some guy pouring a liquid into a flask of stuff appeared and glowed! “I tribute two Hydrogeddons and one Oxygeddon in order to summon the mighty Water Dragon!”

“But… that’s what he already has!” Chazz gasped! “Were you setting this all up the whole time?!” The monsters were engulfed in purple whirlwinds, thus chemically bonding them together! An utterly massive water spout erupted out from the center of Bastion’s field and shot up to the really tall ceiling! It struck Billy Hills.

“I reckon this hologram’s weeeeeeet!!” he cried, falling several stories to his apparent death.

“BILLY!!” Chazz screamed! He turned back to the giant spout. It began changing shape… into a red-eyed dragon! “Oh, CRAP that thing’s huge!”

“HYAGOOOON!!” it roared! (Water Dragon: 2800 Attack Points) Some water from its body began spraying around the field at random. It stared hard at the opposing monster.

“And,” Bastion reminded, “because I have less monsters now, your monster has less Attack Points!” Infernal Incinerator looked kinda sad. (Infernal Incinerator: 3000 Attack Points)

“Aw, man!” it complained, trying to wipe off some wetness from its arms.

“RAWR, RAW RAW RAWR!!” the beast half complained!

“Aw, don’t worry, you’ll be dry in a minute!” the humanoid part soothed. Or, at least I HOPE so…

 

“It’s no use, Bastion!” Syrus called out. “Because the boost was so pathetic, it won’t amount to much when it decreases!”

“That dumb kid’s right!” Chazz agreed! “You STILL aren’t powerful enough to defeat me! But you can attack anyways.”

“You’d better double-check your work…” Bastion ordered, then paused… “BECAUSE I’VE ALREADY DONE ALL THE MATH!!” It was somehow intensely awesome, and created a beautifully extreme burst of light from behind his back!

“MY EYES!!” Syrus screamed, shielding his peepers!

“Did he…” gasped Crowler!

“…just make…” continued Fluffy Fred!

“…a good math dig, I reckon?!” Billy Hills concluded satisfyingly, injured!

“You’ve had ALL of this planned out SINCE THE BEGINNING, YO?!?!” Jaden shuddered in anticipation! “That’s total sweetness!!”

 

“Ability, activate!” called Bastion. He pointed at his Water Dragon, which nodded, apparently understanding him. It inhaled a bunch of air, and released! A freakin’ huge wall of water splooshed out of the serpentine Water Dragon’s body, headed straight for Chazz’s monster!

“OH SHI—” Chazz’s cry was cut short as he was engulfed in aqua madness! “Blublublub…” His Infernal Incinerator began wiggling about nervously, steaming due to water cooling it down! (Infernal Incinerator: 0 Attack Points, go Bastion!)

“Aw, now I’m all wet AGAIN!” the incinerator guy cried!

“How do you DO that to the Attack Point calculator?!” Chazz squealed!

“I know the SCIENCE behind it!”

“No, I mean the message!”

“I did, too! And my monster’s ability makes Pyro-Type monsters it battles literally powerless!”

Oh, Bastion, thought Piggybank, staring down from her battle above, you’ve just completed a perfect duel, and I’m in such awe over your card game prowess…

 

“FINISH THIS GAME, WATER DRAGON! TITAL BLAST!!” See, I spelled it like ‘titan’ for titanical power, but it’s ‘tidal’, though they sound the same? Yeah. And so, the Water Dragon breathed out a huge, continuous stream of water, flooding right toward that Infernal Incinerator guy.

“No, NO!” Chazz whimpered! “It can’t end like this! Not so soon!” I can’t leave the academy! Or else I’ll just work a dead-end job until I snap and kill somebody! I CAN’T lose!!

“In fact, it WON’T end like this!” Bastion said suddenly! “I activate the Trap card, Ring of Destruction!!” His second Trap flipped up. A large ring of grenades appeared upon the water dragon’s maw! The water stream was immediately cut short.

“Why’s he…” Syrus began, but stopped.

“Oh, irony…” I deserve this, thought Chazz, he actually showed me that he could really win normally if he wanted to, but just laughed in my face with that stupid card of his, saying he could win however he wanted to… once again, the irony.

 

Suddenly, Bastion had a flashback. Bastion had been finishing up fixing stuff up in his room, unpacking his things from a suitcase he’d brought with him from home. There were some clothes, some card materials, and a book. “Hmm? What’s all this, then?” he asked nobody. It was titled, The Science of Everything. “Why’d I bring this book along by accident? Oh, yeah.” He opened it up. It was full of random scientific equations under headings for different real-life things, like card games and human nature. “Bah, what kind of rubbish is this?” He read on, in the human nature section.

 

“Basically,” he summarized, “it says that if I walk up to a girl and ask her out, they’ll instantly fall in love with me? That sounds ridiculous!” Bastion closed up the book and went outside for a little walk. He saw Piggybank randomly walking around by herself. The book says they’ll fall in love, right? Well, if I want to experiment, I’d better not use it on any popular people or pretty people, or else my reputation shall be forever tarnished.

 

He approached her and asked, “Hey baby, wanna go out sometime?” Piggybank stared at him in disbelief.

“Oh, uh, I don’t… know what to say…” she stuttered out, blushing and looking away. Bastion felt as if he’d been struck by a laser beam from the heavens. IT ACTUALLY WORKED!! I ACTUALLY MADE SOME WEIRD GIRL FALL IN LOVE WITH ME!! WITH SUCH A BOOK, I CAN NEVER LOSE ANOTHER CARD GAME AGAIN!! And from that point on, from before he showed up with Piggybank on that two-part episode, he would NEVER be the SAME AGAIN…

 

The ring exploded violently! The dragon turned red and fire-filled! “It’s containing the explosions?!” Jaden exclaimed! “That’s so totally wiggedy-whack!”

“HYAGOOOOOON,” the dragon roared, one more time. And yes, it looked like that unused fire dragon that appears next to him on the theme song, so you can stop belly-aching about how it doesn’t exist! It flew into the air once more, spread out its new wings of blazing glory, and detonated. The resulting explosion covered the entire arena in fake smoke. But the Life Points didn’t change yet!

“What’s wrong with the Life Point counter now?!” Chazz asked, irritated at his humbling loss.

“HYAGOOOOOOOOON !” The fiery dragon speared the smoke with its body, flying toward Chazz , gaping mouth wide open!

“Wha… WAH! WAAAAAAAAAHHH!!” And by logic that could only be described by card game hologram physics, Chazz was captured in the flaming serpent’s mouth

“It ate him?!” Jaden wondered, wondering how guys could die in card games.

“NO, YOU IDIOT!! AAAAAAAH!!!” The dragon burst through the ceiling, into the real sky above! It flashed, looked at the sun, and screeched.

“HYAAAAAAGOOOOOOOOON!!!” Three rings of energy, as compared to the Infernal Incinerator’s one, flew from the dragon’s body. And finally, it detonated, flooding the skies of the island in a crimson haze for the next several hours.

 

And Bastion… (Chazz Cheater-Pants: 0 Life Points, Bastion: 0 Life Points. GAME OVER)… still didn’t win, but at least it looked cooler. Chazz fell hundreds of feet to the ground, somehow surviving without any real injury, onto some random rubble from the broken dome. Crap… crap! He just beat me so hard that he defied physics and actually destroyed a building! This kid… he’s the real deal… and now, because of arrogance, I have no friends left. Remind me, why did I challenge him again?

 

“CHAZZ, HUH!!” Deep-Voice Dobbson screamed! He was suddenly punched in the face by Fluffy Fred and tossed to the ground like a meteor.

“Take that, catch-phrase chump!” Fluffy Fred insulted!

Chazz angrily stared at Bastion from the floor, on his knees. “Fine, I get it, you’re a good duelist. I get it now. Just do whatever you want.” Chazz stood up and took his leave with whatever dignity he could scrounge up.

“Oh, good game, son!” Crowler congratulated. Then it turned to Bastion. “So, you won! Are you ready to move into your new dorm and take up your new position?”

“No,” Bastion surprisingly answered, “I must decline your invitation.”

“What?! But what for?” asked Crowler. “You get to duel Jaden!”

“Oh, then what the heck did I say ‘no’ for? It’s a deal!” Bastion shook Crowler’s hand. Piggybank, Fluffy Fred, Jaden, and Syrus, who held up Baseball Bob, who was in a full-body cast, walked up to him to congratulate the boy!

 

“Congrats, Bastion!” Piggybank congratulated!

“Mffemfum,” Baseball Bob said, mouth bandaged up.

“It brought tears to me eyes,” Fluffy Fred admitted, wiping away a manly tear. “That duel was perfect!”

“You so TOTALLY got your game on, yo!” Jaden chuckled, patting his shoulder!

“Good work,” Syrus said, “but seriously, Jaden, recently you’ve become a bumbling idiot.”

“No, I was always that way, yo!”

“But—”

“Actually,” Bastion added his two cents in, “he’s right. He’s only serious in a duel. Or as serious as he could get. And that’s why I made this deal. I want to defeat you fair and square for good.”

“Why don’t you just play him now?” Piggybank asked.

“Yeah, you don’t have to follow Crowler for that,” Jaden said.

“Heh heh,” Bastion chuckled, “Jaden, if we were to duel right now, it would turn out just like that baseball game.”

“I don’t see how.”

“Oh, you will, Jaden, you will.” And the two rivals were once again consumed by the flames of friendly competition, striving to work hard to become the best duelist in the class.

 

And hundreds of years in the future, their legends lived on. They would be known as Bastion the Tiger, and Jaden the Dragon. Or Super Hero, it’s kinda sketchy. But he’s not much of a dragon, so believe what you wish.

“Hm!” Bastion roared!

“Ha!” Jaden exclaimed!

The two animals, tiger and dragon, natural enemies, would fight each other for centuries to come.

 

LATER! THAT!! NIGHT!!!

Chazz, incredibly tired from what he’d just done that day, walked alone back to his dorm room. “Now’s as good a time as ever to pack up my stuff,” he sighed to himself. He froze in front of his door. “What… the hell?” He bent down and picked up a badge. It read, ‘King of Baseball’. “WHAT KIND OF INSULT IS THIS?!” He threw the badge down the hallway! Suddenly, from another adjoining hallway that intersected at the end of the one Chazz was already in, Bastion walked by.

 

He was in his new Blue uniform, and he was with his servant-like fans. They were laughing, even the Bob guy, who was still wrapped up and using crutches, though his arms were really too wrapped up to use them correctly. And without even making any sign of notice, Bastion held up his hand and caught the badge in midair. He placed it on his duel blazer and turned down a different hall.

 

“…Damn Bastion.”

 

 

 

[Kaisu]

The whole 'LET IT RIIIIP!' thing... To be honest, when I read that, I expected Syrus to go on about how then the gases would end the world or something. I just realised this, but he's doing less of that stuff now.

[Weather Report - Stand]

Well, he IS doing it somewhat, but it's easier to write the story, and possibly less irritating to some people who hate running gags (looking at any of you people who don't like Sayonara Zetsubou-Sensei...), and as a side note, he's supposed to be THE character, who overall gets the MOST character development over the entire series. So that should carry on to this, right? Plus, he just overcame a psychological barricade in the last episode, too. So in this case, Syrus has learned to realize how stupid some things are (i.e. LET IT RIIIIIP!!!), and is sometimes irritated with Jaden lately. Yeah, I realized that myself, too, after I finished this chapter. Even I don't understand what's going on in my story!

[Kaisu]

^ That happens.

[Weather Report - Stand]

Yup.

 

Heh, adding one-word posts is fun--aww...

[Des ＨＥＲＯ]

Chapter 13 was good.

[Weather Report - Stand]

Part TWO of the latest episode has been posted. But I have some IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENTS to make!

 

[align=center]SUM NOOZ

 

Featuring Weather Report and Pleinair in script format![/align]

 

 

WR: Hello, all, and welcome to the news.

Pleinair: ...

WR: Today, we have three important announcements to announce. First, we have a special note about the entire story itself, then I'll ask for some storyline-related help that is DESPERATELY needed! Lastly, I'll discuss the often-popular character theme songs and television gags that appear once-an-episode.

Pleinair: ...

WR: Thanks, Pleinair! And on that note, let's begin, shall we?

 

FANFICTION.NET NEWS

 

WR: Yes, you heard me right, I mentioned Fanfiction.net! Due to a suggestion by my sister, and influence from Bpen's hit fan fiction, Shinji and Warhammer 40K, I have decided to post this story on Fanfiction.net. This could be useful in directing more traffic onto this site itself from fans, and it could also have other benefits I can't think of right now.

Pleinair: ...

WR: Yes, I suppose you're right, I should've put more thought into it, ha ha ha. But now, here's my main goal with this plan: I want this to get so famous that it can become an article on Fanfiction.net within the next few years. That will inevitably increase my success tenfold and maybe even garner me popularity when I really begin to publish my own ORIGINAL works of literature!

Pleinair: ...

WR: Yeah, you're right, time for the next subject. But remember: check me out with a comment or something on the show's second home!

 

FILLER ARCS

 

WR: Due to the inevitably boosted sucess of the Naruto anime following their filler arc bonanza, I thought it may be a good idea to do something around that alley!

Pleinair: ...

WR: Yes, it will prolong the life of this series, too! But now here's what I need from you fans: At the end of each storyline (as shown by Yu-Gi-Oh Wiki: Freshman Year, Rise of the Sacred Beasts, Society of Light, Genex Tournament, Quest for Rainbow Dragon, Into the Shadows), I will create a few filler episodes to constitute an arc, though I may divide some of these ideas listed into two or more portions. But for now, I want some people to send me a good idea to be put into action before I get into the Rise of the Sacred Beasts arc, which begins in Episode 27.

Pleinair: ...

WR: Why DO I need all of this time, you ask, since I'm only on the THIRTEENTH episode right now? Well, I'll need some time to write it, of course! So, until I get to that point, I'll be accepting and deliberating on some ideas.

 

THEME SONGS AND T.V. GAGS

 

WR: Well, as shown by the lackluster Beyblade joke I made, I'll need some help with these hilarious ideas!

Pleinair: ...

WR: Why, yes, I am talking about the gags first, then the themes, okay?

Pleinair: ...

WR: So if you have any talent for such nonsense, I'd love it if you'd send me an idea via PM. If I use your idea, I'll also give credit to your name! You'll get all the girls! Or boys, if you happen to BE a girl!

Pleinair: ...

WR: Yes, you're right, we're running out of time. So onto the theme songs. To put it short: I just want you people to send me ideas for good theme songs fitting any important characters to be played when they do something mind-bendingly awesome. The only restrictions are that:

1. They have to be Japanese, to fit the anime feel

2. They must be good! No weird crap, like the stuff I like!

3. It can't be used in a Yu-Gi-Oh! anime already in any way.

4. Alternatively, you could send an idea for a theme song for the SHOW, since I obviously didn't put much thought into what I provided.

Pleinair: ...

WR: Yes, those ARE rather stupid restrictions, eh? Well, if you get it on PM, you COULD get it in cash. Good night, everybody!

*WR: Waves*

*Pleinair: Does nothing*

 

Special thanks to Disgaea 2 for giving me the idea to do this in the fashion of a dumb news broadcast!

[Weather Report - Stand]

Bump, anybody care to read DA NOOZ?

[eyeofthedeck]

I did! *everyone gasps* That's right YCM, I'm back! Anyway, back on topic, nice chapter. I will have to catch up on all the ones I missed in my absence and also all the new WWB. Also, I love how you're posting this on fanfiction.net. You should try posting your other successful stories there!

[Des ＨＥＲＯ]

Welcome back eye of the deck even though I have never heard of you lol nvm.

 

Edit: Oh now Ive found about eye of the deck your cool for standing up to the noob who insulted the great Weather Report.And I found this in 5 minutes well some could find it in 1.Nvm about random things.

[Weather Report - Stand]

Welcome back, yo, eyeofthedeck, I was wonderin' what ever happened to you! Nice to see your zombie-guy again!

 

Well, once again, I wish that SOMEBODY'D send me sum' cool ideas for stuff, since if I can't get a tv gag I'll have to make it into some sort of flame attack by Jaden against all of you. I'm not above this! Well, I'm not really serious, but I seriously need some new idea fodder, here.

[eyeofthedeck]

Sadly, I live in a country different to America so most people won't get any jokes I make about TV. Ad references I mean, not shows. Seriously, over here we don't even have Twinkies! How do I know about Twinkies, you ask? Let's just say, I've seen Zombieland! Mwahahahahahaha!

[Des ＨＥＲＯ]

Hmm intresting fact that the American's made the best comedy,an new big idea is hard.

[Weather Report - Stand]

Damn, I can't be-LIEVE they don't have twinkies! Never mind the fact I've never even HAD one, but still! It feels so important!

 

Also for a spoiler nobody will get until Season Two, I'm going to introduce a God-Mode Sue character with the intention of everybody to either love or hate her.

[Kaisu]

Hmm.. So maybe you could have poll then.

[Weather Report - Stand]

Yep, maybe... *stares wistfully into the sunset*.

[Weather Report - Stand]

No TV joke this week, I've (and apparently, everybody else) got nothin'.

 

[spoiler= Episode 14: Monkey See, Monkey Duel][spoiler= Part One]Yu-Gi-Oh! GX! The Fan Fic

Episode 14: Monkey See, Monkey Duel

Part One

 

The night was dark and the guitar solo sounded pretty intense in this opening. The island’s native active volcano was spewing out smoke like there was no tomorrow. And in a secret dueling base nearby, everything was in chaos. “CODE RED, CODE RED!!” some obnoxious man spat into the intercom. “I REPEAT, CODE RED!!”

“WE GET IT, AHHH!!” shouted one of the several fleeing scientists, running for their lives in random directions.

“Damn,” one guy cursed, “if I hadn’t spent all of my time in front of a computer screen all day, I might actually know how to get out of this place…”

“SECURE THE PERIMITER!” ordered a tough-looking head honcho man leading other tough-looking men into the compound, “We can’t let the specimen escape. Who KNOWS what kinds ‘a hell he’ll unleash?” The men held up their multi-colored plastic guns and re-loaded the barrels with foam darts.

“If we hit Project MONKEY with these darts, won’t we kill him?” one guy asked.

“Who cares, we’re protecting the students of the isl—”

 

“WAAAAH!!” a guy screamed!

“Oh, shoot, I heard it from the broom closet!” a man pointed out!

“Let’s move!” ordered the head honcho! Strategically holding their toy guns, they headed off toward the broom closet. “Alright, let’s open the door and shoot’m!”

“But sir,” noted a guy standing right in fro23nt of the door, “what if that plan fails… OH CRAP!!” The door was blown right off its hinges, and some THING pulled the poor idiot inside the closet! “AAAH, HE’S RIPPING ME APART! NO, NOT THE ARM, NOT THE AH-HA-HA-HAAAARM!!” Buckets of blood were splattered along the wall and floor.

“LET’S GO!!” ordered the head honcho, and they all charged off to their deaths.

“CODE RED, I REPEAT, CODE RED!! CODE RED!!”

“SHUT! UP!”

 

THE! NEXT!! MORNING!!!

 

Chazz had just walked out of the school building as the guitar got more slow and relaxed sounding, if not a bit sad. Lugging a bag over his shoulder, he turned back and sneered, “Eff you, school.” Then he continued lumbering along, leaving with a sack of dreams and a head full of shame.

 

Meanwhile, back in school, Syrus ran, in contrast to Chazz, walking OUT of school! Syrus charged into a classroom and found Jaden among the several rows of students! “JAY-DUHN!” Syrus shouted, gasping for breath, “this is TERRIBLE! Chazz is MISSING!!”

“Really?!” some guy gasped in surprise!

“AW, YEAH!!” another cheered! People leaped out of their seats, jumped for joy, danced around, and pulled out a snack table with a turntable on it.

“Cool, a ‘Chazz is Gone’ party! Sweet!” Jaden said, happy with the changes.

“Um, isn’t this a bad thing?”

“No way, Syrus! Now lemme get on those turntables, I’ll put on a rap like you’ve NEVER heard before!”

“But I’m one of those people who still doesn’t appreciate rap as a true form of music,” Syrus revealed.

“Well, as long as Chazz isn’t here, it’s a-okay!”

“No it’s not, he was your RIVAL character!!”

 

Jaden froze in place. His rival character had been written off of the show! “But wait, isn’t Bastion my rival, too?” he remembered. For some reason, the camera showed a shot of Angry McArgue, Alexis Rhodes, and such a funny-looking picture of Nancy Wut that I had to mention it. Her eyes were off-center, and her hair was twice the size of her head, man! What a trippy shot!

“Hey,” some Obelisk Blue with greenish hair said, with a cup of punch (donated so nicely by the snack table), “Billy Hills and Deep-Voice Dobbson are missing.” And indeed, the two seats near him were vacant.

“Aw, they’ll be back soon, don’t worry,” some other nameless character told him.

“Oh, okay.”

 

“Well, Syrus,” Jaden decided, holding up his show script, “I suppose the script states that I have to care about this.”

“And have we just admitted the fact that the show is also just a show to us?” Syrus checked.

“Yep, we’re apparently good actors. So what should we do about Chazz?”

“Well, the script says we have to go run out and look for him,” Syrus read off of his script.

“Well then, that’s what we’ll do, dawg!”

 

Within two minutes, Jaden had successfully crawled out from under a huge hole in one of the non-blue obelisks outside the building. “Okay, the coast is clear, buddy!”

“Alright,” Syrus sighed, walking out of the front door.

“Oh, dude, don’t take the EASY way out! Take the TOUGH, N’ GRITTY one!”

“And possibly die, scraping my skin off on the gritty, sandpapery surface of THAT hard way? No way!”

“Y’know, there IS a front door, guys,” giggled Alexis, complete with her two girls nearby.

“What’s wrong with the tough way, though?” Nancy Wut asked naively.

“Well, I took the front way, Alexis!” Syrus proudly proclaimed.

 

“Well, uh, Alexis,” Jaden stammered, thinking of an excuse, “we were just trying to… get a head-start… on some… homework?” Damn, their mini-skirts are short! he thought. I mean, really, in this frame, it REALLY hits you! I know Japanese school uniforms have short skirts, but this is ridiculous! Doesn’t this count as sexual harassment? Who designed these, anyways?!

“A-CHOO!” sneezed Chancellor Shepherd. “Whoo, somebody must be talking about me somewhere…”

“That was the worst excuse you’ve used yet,” Angry condemned, “and you really SUCK at excuses.”

“Well, yeah, but…”

“Don’t sweat it,” Alexis chimed in, “we’re coming with you.”

“Whubba-HUH?!” the two Slifers gasped! “B-b-b-b-but WHY?!”

“It’s fun teasing such a sexually immature boy who likes you, such as him,” Alexis explained. “Also, it’s in the script.”

“I get’cha,” Jaden sighed. “Sooooo… let’s goooooooo!!” Jaden lead the new convoy, out to search for the least-popular man in school.

 

“HEEEEEERE Chazz!” he called out, as they passed the volcano.

 

“Here Chazz, here boy!” he called out, as they wandered by the beach.

 

“Here’s a nice, meaty bone!” Jaden offered, waving a large bone, covered in beefy goodness through the forest.

“Okay, this is it,” Alexis decided, obviously irked. “CHAZZ, YOU FREAKING BASTARD!! COME ON OUT ALREADY!! I’LL LET YOU HAVE ONE OF MY SOCKS!!” Her loud call made numerous birds flee the area, but Chazz did not appear. “Darn, that usually works.”

“Well, why the hell did Chazz run away, anyways?” Angry McArgue argued. “Do any of you REDS have anything to do about it?”

“Maybe he’s just on a secret mission, out to stop an evil organization or something,” Nancy Wut guessed.

“No, that’s Billy Hill’s job,” corrected Alexis.

“HUH?!”

But Alexis disregarded them, because… “Quick, something’s moving up there!” She pointed at something ahead that was apparently moving around. A semi-faraway bush wiggled a bit!

“Ooh, I bet it’s a monkey!” Nancy Wut hoped! The team ran on after it, like it was some really awesome treasure just waiting to be opened… and that would be a jerk to you and try to be a dumb rival and be generally crappy in terms of people skills.

 

“Come on out, Chazz, I still got ‘da bone,” Jaden offered. They all pushed on past the bushes… and Shades Milligan, the kid who wore shades in the episode ‘Making the Grade’, was standing by a shady tree!

“Woah! Shades Milligan?!” Angry McArgue exclaimed! “What do you think YOU’RE doing out here?”

“Oh, who said that?!” he asked, looking around blindly. “I can barely see through these shades!”

“Take ‘em off, idiot!”

“No way,” he persisted, “either I find school lookin’ cool, of I don’t find it at all!” Suddenly a giant, shady figure burst out from the brush and chomped into Shades Milligan!!

“HO,” gasped Jaden.

“LEE,” gasped Angry McArgue.

“SHI,” gasped Alexis.

“IT’S A VELOCIRAPTOR FROM THE FUTUUUURE!!” Syrus and Nancy Wut screamed, pointing to the aforementioned shadowy beast… which was a velociraptor, outfitted in random pieces of metal and a Duel Disk! Shades Milligan was losing blood fast, and he was unconscious!

“GRRRRAH! GRAH!” the raptor growled! It turned around and fled through the woodlands!

 

“I HEARD ‘IM THIS WAY!!” shouted one of the tough men from earlier, with his second helper and a stubby scientist, all carrying their plastic toy guns!

“AAAHH! WEIRD MEN!!” screamed Syrus and Nancy Wut!

“Eh?! Duelists?!” the scientist gasped! “Why aren’t you kids at school? You could’ve been eaten by that DUELING velociraptor!”

“More importantly,” Jaden said, taking charge, “there’s a cool guy in shades out there who needs our help!”

“It’s what he always wanted,” Nancy solemnly remembered, “just some dinosaur to come outta nowhere and sweep him away…”

“What idiot would want that…?” Angry McArgue argued. “On second thought, men have some really weird fetishes these days. Let’s go after him!”

“Why are we chasing a dinosaur?” Syrus asked, as he was quickly left behind.

 

And so the velociraptor leaped through the trees… used cool stepping stones to traverse a river… and dashed through a clearing in the forest. It finally stopped until it reached the Idiot Tree, a tree so named for its stupid idea to grow RIGHT off of a cliff. The velociraptor set Shades Milligan on the tree and began ripping out his intestines! At that moment, Jaden and the gang climbed out from an underground staircase, placed in a very convenient spot!

“I TOLD you taking the easy way would get us there quicker!” Syrus insisted!

“I suppose you’re right sometimes. Now, you stinkin’ velociraptor! Unhand Shades! Now!!” Jaden felt suddenly stupid when he figured out just how much of his small intestine had been ripped out. “Dammit! This wouldn’t have happened if we took the TOUGH N’ GRITTY way!”

“This is NO time for jokes!” Angry McArgue argued, slapping him in the head.

 

The scientist and two tough guys muscled their way through the crowd and out into the open. “Okay, fire when ready!” the head honcho guy ordered to his shorter subordinate, who took deadly aim at the raptor.

“WAIT!” the scientist ordered! “If we shoot now, the impact will SURELY knock him out into the sea! We don’t want THAT!”

“It’s a NERF gun,” Angry McArgue snarkily remarked, “that thing wouldn’t knock SYRUS into the sea.”

“You ARE right,” Syrus agreed.

“Hey, what did you say about ‘dueling raptor’ earlier?” asked Alexis to the armed men.

“Oh, yes, that raptor was a twelve year-long experiment to find out if dinosaurs could REALLY play card games,” the scientist answered. “Its codename was MONKEY, but we called him Wheeler as a pet name.”

All of the kids immediately grabbed him by the collar and hoisted him up, yelling, “WHAT THE F*CK WOULD YOU DO THAT FOR?! WHY COULDN’T YOU CHOOSE SOMETHING SAFER?! HOW DID YOU GET A DINOSAUR IN THE FIRST PLACE?!?!”

“B-but it was for science!” the scientist wheezed!

“Oh, that’s okay then,” the kids accepted, putting him down.

 

“Hey, if he duels, why don’t I duel’m, y’all?” Jaden supposed.

“Sir, it’s a VELOCIRAPTOR. We fed it human flesh for breakfast!” the head honcho man explained! “He literally eats duelists like you for breakfast! It was his favorite food!”

“So? DANGER’S my MIDDLE NAME.” Jaden held out his Duelist ID Card. On his name, a small sticker covered his middle name and had ‘DANGER’ written on it.

“Well, I can’t argue with THAT logic,” the head honcho sighed, scratching his head.

“But WHY would you DUEL a VELOCIRAPTOR?!” Alexis reasoned!

“Be-CAUSE, yo, if I BEAT him, then he’ll give up without any physical violence! Except for that over there,” Jaden explained, pointing to the dinosaur that had just cracked open the boy’s ribs. “So how about it, Wheeler? Ready to get yo’ game on?”

“BOO,” somebody said.

 

Wheeler the raptor stopped chowing down for a moment and looked at Jaden. “KHEEEEH,” he hissed.

“That’s right,” Jaden continued, standing in a lame pointing pose, “duel me or else I’ll NEVER be able to call you a REAL MAN!”

“What an idiot,” Syrus thought aloud, “but at least he’s got guts.”

“Like Shades,” remarked Angry McArgue.

“Whose side are you on, Angry?” Alexis wondered.

“Hee hee, his ribs went ‘CRACK’!” giggled Nancy Wut affectionately. The others stared at her in disgust.

“If I win, then you come back to the research facility I suppose you came from, dino!” Jaden said. “If I lose, then you come back to the research facility I suppose you came from, too!” He winked at the crowd, pleased with his idea.

 

Wheeler rubbed his chin, like a human, in thought. I can just kill him afterwards, he thought in some sort of stereotypical dino-language. “GRAAW,” he growled, holding out his Duel Disk!

“Awright then,” Jaden laughed, “Let’s go!” He put on his Duel Disk he pulled out from nowhere and strapped it on like a pro! The two duelists held their ground firmly, holding onto their beliefs as well! Their flames will never waver, and their hearts shall be forever true! And I don’t know how much sense this makes!

“Hey, I have a clear shot!” the short subordinate man with the gun exclaimed!

“No,” the scientist intervened, “this is EXACTLY the field test we need.”

“Why didn’t somebody duel him in the lab already?” Syrus asked.

“Top secret info, kid.”

“Oh, sorry.”

 

Waves crashed upon the cliff from below, as if to say, ‘Hurry up! Duel aready! I’m tired of waiting!!’. Awright, dawg, Jaden thought, time ‘ta get down to business… DINO business, G! “Ready or not, LET’S DUEL!”

“DUEL,” the raptor grunted!

“OH SHIZZNIT!!”

“That thing talks?” Syrus gasped! “What’s next, he teaches OTHER animals to talk, which sparks revolts around the earth?!”

“No, that would be COMPLETELY unrealistic!” argued the scientist. “He has a chip in his flesh that reads his mind, and talks for him.”

“And just how realistic is THAT?” Angry McArgue argued back.

 

(Jaden: 4000 Life Points, Wheeler: 4000 Life Points) “Here I go!” Jaden called, drawing his sixth card of the game: Elemental Hero Sparkman!! Sweetness! Just what I need to EXCAVATE this dinosaur! “Go, Elemental Hero Sparkman!” Jaden summoned his helpful hero, who pounded his fists together, spraying out sparks of electricity everywhere!

“HOOOO-HUH!” he grunted! (Sparkman: 1600 Attack Points)

“Your turn, dino-breath! Heh heh, get it? Because your breath smells like rotting meat,” explained Jaden.

“GRRRR…” growled Wheeler, not amused!

“Stop making such lame puns!” ordered Angry McArgue!

 

“MY TURN, SCUM-BAG!” Wheeler’s chip belted out! “DRAW.” Wheeler drew a monster with 2000 Attack Points, 1000 Defense Points, and a picture of an animal spewing out fire. “SUMMON: GIANT FLAMING VELOCIRAPTOR.” A giant flaming velociraptor appeared! It was not a gorilla, nor was it berserk!

“What’s he supposed to be, a dumb dinosaur? He can’t be as dumb as YOU, that’s for sure!” Jaden mocked.

“You’re only making him angrier!” Syrus screamed!

“So what? What could a velociraptor POSSIBLY do to me?”

“MURDER SPARK MAN NOW!” The velociraptor bit off Sparkman’s head. “I SET ONE CARD, THEN END TURN. GO AHEAD, PUNK!” (Jaden: 3600 Life Points)

“Who do you think YOU’RE talkin’ to, bub, a Stegosaurus?” Jaden challenged! “Humans are TOTALLY better than dinosaurs, and now’s the time to prove it!

 

TO BE CONTINUED!

 

[spoiler=Part Two]

Yu-Gi-Oh! GX! The Fan Fic

Episode Fourteen: Monkey See, Monkey Duel

Part Two

 

“Jaden’s losing the duel!” Syrus cried!

“And he’s losin’ his cool, too!” Nancy added.

“No he’s not, he’s lost his mind, clearly!” Alexis said. “Who wouldn’t, fighting a robotic velociraptor?”

“Hey, gimme a break,” Jaden sighed, “all I did was one stupid move! There’s PLENTY of time for some SMART ones, too! Like THIS!” He held out a Polymerization card! “By using Polymerization, I fuse Elemental Heroes Burstinatrix and Avian to summon…” Avian and Burstinatrix flew out into the open air!

“Yo, guys!” greeted Avian, flashing a peace sign! The two began swirling around each other in an awkward-looking fashion until they were consumed by a whirlwind of… wind! Soon the wind died down, revealing their fusion counterpart!

“ELEMENTAL HERO FLAME WINGMAN!!” Jaden named! (Flame Wingman: 2100 Attack Points) “Now, with Flame Wingman, I’ll REALLY lose my cool!”

“How is that a GOOD thing?!” challenged Angry McArgue!

“GO, INFERNAL RAGE!!”

“Plus, why do the attack names keep changing?” Syrus demanded answers!

Flame Wingman held out his cool dragon-arm and spat out a raging column of flames! The flames consumed and exploded the already-flaming Giant Flaming Velociraptor monster, for massive damage!

“DAMN YOU,” the velociraptor cursed! (Wheeler: 3900 Life Points)

“And I’m not done yet!”

“HUH?”

“My Flame Wingman’s super power deals your monster’s Attack Points straight to your own Life Points!” Jaden helpfully explained! Flame Wingman coolly flew in Wheeler’s face and took deadly aim.

“WHAT THE—” Flame Wingman burned his face at point-blank range! “THIS REALLY DOESN’T HURT! WHY DO YOU FOOLS ALWAYS DO SOME DERANGED FLINCH OR SCREAM WHENEVER YOU LOSE LIFE POINTS?!” (Wheeler: 1900 Life Points)

“Because that’s how we humans roll, son!” Jaden pridefully answered!

 

“Wow, Jaden got a big hit on him already!” Syrus cheered! “Things are looking up, for once!”

“Not quite,” the scientist who still has no name corrected, “he only made one little mistake, our Wheeler. He’s not out yet.”

“Really?” Nancy asked.

“Yes. It was all a part of his training regimen, you see. If he screwed up twice, he’d be in for QUITE a shock, yessiree. He’s been trained to be faster than other duelists, stronger too, and even more INVINCIBLE!!”

“Then why doesn’t he have a one-turn-kill deck?” Alexis smirked.

“Don’t be ridiculous! Those don’t exist in THIS show!”

 

“So, dino-dude, callin’ it quits or what?” Jaden asked.

“NEVER! LIKE THAT WOULD DETER ME?! NOT LIKELY! GO, ACROBAT VELOCIRAPTOR!!” A blue-and-white robotic velociraptor acrobatically flipped onto the field! (Acrobat Velociraptor: 1000 Attack Points)

“You SURE do like your velociraptors,” Jaden remarked on the sly.

“SHUT UP! NOW I USE THE TRAP CARD: DNA SURGERY TO CHANGE THE TYPES OF ALL MONSTERS TO DINOSAUR!!” Wheeler roared! His Trap card flipped up, showing some weird doctors preparing for surgery!

“Oh, crap, yo!” Jaden cried!

 

The robotic velociraptor began transforming into a REAL velociraptor! And Flame Wingman began transforming… into a REAL velociraptor! “How unoriginal!” Jaden cried out in surprise!

“NEXT I PLAY WILD JURASSIC RELEASE BURST GO!!” Wheeler announced! He played a card that featured a velociraptor (of course), covered in electrical sparks, letting loose a massive howl and a ring of energy! “THIS CARD LETS MY DINOSAUR MONSTER GAIN ATTACK POINTS DUE TO ITS DEFENSE POINTS, SO YOU’RE SCREWED!! “

“GWRAAAARAAAWGH!!” the Acrobat Velociraptor screeched! It flexed its body, and grew! The armor cracked and fell apart, as it just couldn’t hold so much dino-muscle! Soon enough, all that was left was its helmet! (Acrobat Velociraptor: 3000 Attack Points)

“Ew, he’s naked!” Nancy flinched.

“MASSACRE HIM!!” ordered Wheeler! The Acrobat Velociraptor leaped into the air, flipped around a few times, and smashed Flame Wingman’s head in!

“Yowza, what a move!” Jaden grunted, shielding his eyes from the dust. (Jaden: 2900 Attack Points)

“What slang are you using? Choose a time period and STICK with it!” Angry McArgue hassled. Just then, the Acrobat Velociraptor exploded for no visible reason!

“Ha, she’s so annoying, the velociraptor JUST couldn’t handle it!” laughed Jaden.

“It’s not funny, it’s in the card’s ability! Don’t laugh when there’s a DEAD CLASSMATE just sitting in front of you!”

 

“TAKE YOUR FREAKING TURN ALREADY!!” Wheeler rudely commanded!

“Sheesh, it’s just a game… that determines your DESTINY, Wheeler, aha ha!” Jaden drew his card after his terrible attempt at humour. His card featured a missile flying toward a meteor… IN OUTER SPACE!! “Good! I got JUST the card I’m going to use in just one episode to beat my opponent! Now I activaaaaate…” Jaden stopped his card from play! Because… he saw a herd of velociraptors hiding behind a small rock! “Why are they hiding behind such a small rock?”

“More importantly, why are there MORE VELOCIRAPTORS?!” Syrus screamed!

“What, you think we genetically engineered a new velociraptor?” the scientist ‘tsk’-ed. “You’re light years too young from understanding how we work.”

 

Yes, perfect, Wheeler chuckled to himself (could velociraptors chuckle? I’d believe a triceratops, but not a VELOCIRAPTOR!). My mind control worked! Now, when this game is over, the SWARM will kill ALL of these idjits. ‘Idiots’ isn’t extreme enough for these people.

“Aw, man,” Jaden sighed in a bummed-out manner, “you really just wanted to escape to go back home? Well, I can’t let you go home, unless you give us the corpse of Shades Milligan there, and plus, you’d have to go back with those guys. Otherwise, I’d have to duel you into submission, man! And so that’s why I have to summon Elemental Hero Clayman!!” Our friendly clay-molded man appeared in Attack Mode.

“HUUUUR-HUH!” he grunted, much like Sparkman! (Clayman: 800 Attack Points)

“DNA SURGERY ACTIVATES,” Wheeler reminded.

“Okay.” Clayman painfully-lookingly turned into a velociraptor covered in clay, with a HUGE ribcage! Ouch! “Well it’s not gonna help when I activate The Missile That Almost Saved the Dinosaurs read it and weep oh yeah!” Jaden used his one-time-use Spell card! The one with the missile and meteor on it, remember? “Somehow, the image, as there are no words on this U.S. edition card, states that I pay one-thousand Life Points and choose a monster with one-thousand or less Attack Points. If he deals Battle Damage to you this turn, you lose Life Points equal to its Defense Points… two-thousand baby, yeah!”

The silhouette of a massive meteor appeared in the sky, but fear not, as a small rocket was placed on the ground, long activation string already lit and rarin’ to go! (Jaden: 1900 Life Points)

Alexis gasped for some reason! “Gasp,” she gasped!

 

“Now, attack Wheeler with Clay Clobber-rer!!” Jaden shouted, as the super hero put his dumbly-named plan into action! Clayman reared back and let loose a super clay-charged velociraptor punch, which stretched all the way to Wheeler!

“WHAT IS THIS, ONE PIEEEEECE?!” he screamed, in fear of what references could be found from that one action! (Wheeler: 1100 Life Points)

“And now, thanks to The Missile That Almost Saved the Dinosaurs,” Jaden confidently informed, “your dino time is dino done!” Wheeler looked up toward the heavens. The small meteor-shaped spot in the sky rapidly grew with each passing second!

“AW, DAMN IT.” The missile suddenly launched into the stratosphere in order to protect the velociraptor menace, but sadly it merely impacted upon the rock, leaving a small explosion that did NOTHING. The rock flew faster and faster, shadowing over Wheeler’s space more and more, until it was finally right above his head. IT LITERALLY CRUSHED HIM, WITH A SICKENING CRUNCHY CRUNCH SOUND. His blood seeped out from under the smoldering stone. (Wheeler: -900 Life Points, Game Over)

 

“Woah, I never meant to kill him with the intense duelin’ action,” Jaden huffed, putting his cards away.

“HOLYMOTHERFLIPPIN’CRAPSHOOT!!” Syrus randomly screamed, “YOU JUST KILLED A ROBOTIC DINOSAUR WITH A METEOR HOLOGRAM!!”

“And it was worth it too, for the look on ‘is face, Sy!” Jaden laughed.

“Well, there goes our twelve years of research,” the scientist sniffed.

“OH MY GOSH LOOK OUT!!” Angry McArgue warned! The other velociraptors were on the attack!

“GWAAAH!!” they all screeched, lunging out and looking for BLUDD!!

“NOT ON MYWATCH!!” screamed Nancy Wut, taking out a hand-held machine gun, from wherever they could be hidden. She quickly dispatched of all twelve velociraptors in the blink of a really slow blinker’s eye. But they were all dead, so that’s okay.

“And I got the body!” Alexis cheered, picking up and bringing back Shades Milligan’s corpse over the meteor.

“Let’s go bury him like it says in his will!” Angry McArgue suggested, holding up Shades Milligan’s last will and testament.

 

“WAAAAIT!!” the scientist urged, “don’t bury him! Give the body to us!”

“Why?” asked Syrus. “What could you possibly do with him now? In fact, don’t answer it if it’s gonna be disgusting.”

“Bah, his wounds are merely superficial!”

“But he’s been dead before the duel even began!” Jaden reminded. “Those are NOT just superficial, yo.”

“Ah, but we know how to REBUILD him!” the scientist chuckled! “We can make him stronger, faster, and more INVINCIBLE!!”

“But he’s DEAD, sir,” the head honcho sighed, “we can’t do anything for him.”

“Yeah, right.” The scientist took Shade Milligan’s corpse by the arm and dragged him away down the forgotten staircase that lead to the cliff in the first case.

“What about the raptors?” asked Nancy Wut, but she got no reply.

“Hey kids,” Prof. Banner greeted, coming out of nowhere, “Chazz just left on a boat.”

“Aw, DANG it!” cussed Jaden.

“Here’s how it happened,” Banner began to repeat.

 

Chazz was sailing away on top of his family’s personal yacht. “Yeah, bastards!” Chazz laughed! “You guys have a DUMB island! Well, my family (on my brothers’ side) owns a YACHT… AND A COOL PERSONAL ISLAND! SO LONG, AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!”

“Stop laughing, idiot!” yelled a random brother from below the deck.

“Oh, sorry.”

And Banner watched Chazz sail away, from the docks of Duel Academy, feeling slightly hungry… for knowledge… and food.

“Well, that’s okay, because we didn’t really like him, anyways!” Jaden shrugged off.

“Plus, he’ll be back in action in episode 24 or so!” Nancy Wut reminded!

“But that’ll take FOREVER!!” complained Syrus!

“Plus,” wondered Alexis, “what’s gonna happen to Billy Hills and Deep-Voiced Dobbson?”

 

THE END…?

 

 

 

[Weather Report - Stand]

I did the last of the chapter, yo.

[Kaisu]

Last 'o'?

 

Whats an 'o'?

[Weather Report - Stand]

Explain where it is.

[Kaisu]

I did the last o the chapter' date=' yo.

[/quote']

 

That.

[Weather Report - Stand]

Fixed, yo.

[Kaisu]

I gets it nows...

[Weather Report - Stand]

Well, I finally got around to finishing it, a day later than hoped, but it's a dumb one. Enjoy.

 

[spoiler=Episode Fifteen: Courting Alexis]

[spoiler=Part One]

Jaden and the gang were watching T.V. … AGAIN!! “And now back to Code Geasse,” the screen spouted.

“Y’know, when I first heard of the name, I thought it was spelled like goose!” Jaden laughed! “Heh, the plural of goose is geese? Get it? Eh? Yo?”

“BE QUIET!” Koala Ko Ala roared! “It’s bad enough that I barely get any screen-time! Leave it alone!”

“Uh, um,” Syrus wiggled.

“What’s up?” Jaden asked. “Y’got something to say?”

“Uh, well, when I first read Lelouch’s name, I thought it was pronounced ‘Le-LOUCH’, like ‘slouch’, not, ‘Le-LOOSH’.”

“HE’S DUMB!” Jaden screamed! “GET HIM!!”

“NOW THERE’S SOMETHING EVEN I CAN AGREE WITH!!” Koala Ko Ala said! And so, the two proceeded to beat the living daylights out of Syrus. The end.

 

Yu-Gi-Oh! GX! The Fan Fic

Episode 15: Courting Alexis

Part One

 

The high-sky view of today’s duel academy snapshot was warmly received with some awesome guitar riffs and such, as is usual on this extreme island. “Alright,” said Fonda Fontaine, the gym teacher whom we’ve likely forgotten all about, “time to get your game on! TENNIS game on, that is!! Ha ha ha ha ha!”

“BOO,” somebody said, bringing us in to a shot of several students playing tennis. The tennis ball flew over the net. Then it flew back over. Suddenly, if flew over the net! And then… it was hit… back over the net.

 

“HIIII-YAH!” roared Nancy Wut, sending the ball right back at Syrus with intense energy. For some STUPID reason, they decided to put Angry McArgue, standing around like an idiot, staring at the viewers, just WAITING to be struck in the back of the head by a tennis ball gone awry. Just to let you know, everybody in the gym was in a gym uniform, so don’choo fo’get it!!

“AAAAAHH!! Uh, uh, AHH!!” screamed Syrus, teamed up with a less-than-enthusiastic Jaden, smashing the ball back over the net like a wimp.

“Uh, will somebody please tell me what this has to do with dueling?” Jaden asked. “And also, why am I playing tennis, yo?”

“Because I told you toooooooo!!” roared Nancy Wut, slappin’ the ball back, high into the air!

“Oh, poop,” Syrus cursed at fate!

“I guess that’s my cue.” Jaden leaped up thirty feet in the air, as provided by the source material, and hit the ball like a pro at hitting that ball would do! If they were an IDIOT!! The tennis ball flew awkwardly, past the net, past the players, and straight for Alexis, playing a totally different game of tennis! “ALEXIS!!” Jaden cried! “NOOOOOOO!!”

 

Alexis turned and gasped! “Gasp!” she gasped! Suddenly, a shadow of a doubt appeared heroically, smashing the ball away like the pro Jaden was SUPPOSED to be, but SCREWED UP at BEING!! The tennis ball somehow flew toward Crowler who sat in a lifeguard-ish chair and was hit in the eye.

“BUT I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING WRONG TODAY…” Crowler cried, tears streaming down its eyes as it fell down to earth.

“Alexis!” said Nancy Wut and Angry McArgue at the same time, inexplicably. “Is you okay and stuff?”

“Yeah, all thanks to this guy,” Alexis said. “Thank you, whoever you are, if you hadn’t saved me I’d have a bruise or something.”

“You’re welcome…” said… SHADES MILLIGAN!!

“OH SHI—” Alexis shook her head and caught herself. “Whoo, almost used R-rated dialogue there, ahaha. But you died right in front of us!”

“Ah, yes,” he said, adjusting his shades, “the scientist fixed me. Now I’m part cyborg! Half machine…” He looked at her closely. “… and ALL man.” Shades Milligan was suddenly represented in front of a blue shoujo background.

“Whoa,” sighed Angry McArgue, swooning.

“I just LOVE a ROBOT,” Nancy Wut giggled.

“Oh, well thanks.” Alexis was suddenly represented in front of a bubbly shoujo background. That’s Alexis Rhodes… Shades Milligan thought. He blushed at the thought of her, standing in front of the backdrop, which for some reason to him made her look three times more GORGEOUS!! Then again, cyborgs are weird.

“Um, what’s wrong? Are you another random admirer? Because if you grope me, I’ll do to you what I did to the LAST guy that tried that,” Alexis informed.

Behind her, a man twisted into a pretzel shape screamed, “DON’T DO IT!!”

“Oh, no, it’s just that you’re beautiful and stuff, heh heh heh!” Shades Milligan tried to joke around with. “Well, anyways, sorry to bother you, heh heh, I’m just gonna go play more tennis, heh heh heh, and I guess that the score is just love-something, heh heh heh…”

“… Who writes for this guy?” Alexis irritatingly and rhetorically asked. A mysterious writer in the background ran off. “I didn’t mean it literally!”

 

Around two minutes later…

“And that… is the reason… why I am… so sorry…” Jaden woefully apologized, in the nurse’s office, to Crowler, who still had that injured eye from earlier. “So how’s that for sorry, teach?”

“Sorry, I’m not feeling it. Try harder. Attempt to convey even the SLIGHTEST feeling of regret.”

“Hold still,” urged Ms. Fontaine, nursing Crowler’s new BLACK EYE!!! In the nurses’ office. Yeah, a gym teacher AND a school nurse! How cool is that?! “Just so you know, I actually SAW Jaden hit you with that ball, and it seemed to me like it was an accident. You KNOW how hard it is to hit a tennis ball straight from eleven feet in the air, right?”

“You ARE right, but he still hit it! And then it hit my eye! Case CLOSED,” Crowler decided.

“CoughcoughcoughYEAHRIGHTcough,” Jaden coughed.

“SAY THAT AGAIN, YOU LITTLE BRAT, I DARE YOU!! SAY THAT AGAIN!!”

“Well, if you wanna PUNISH me, teach, why don’t you ban me from tennis yo?” Jaden suggested.

“No,” Crowler disagreed, “I think that the best plan of action would be to FORCE you to play tennis against your own will! On the tennis team!”

“We have a TENNIS team? Who do we play against?”

“Yourselves!”

“That’s lame, yo, I don’t wanna do DAT!” whined Jaden!

“Who cares, I’m the teacher in here, and NOBODY goes against a TEACHER’S orders!”

“Aw dang it.”

 

Meanwhile, Alexis opened up a locker, dressed normally again, and placed a towel inside. “Hey Aleixs!” called Nancy Wut. Alexis turned around and saw both her friends approaching, and two noticeably hideous girls sitting on a bench inside the locker room.

“AHH!” Alexis screamed! She quickly got a hold of herself and tried not to look at them.

“We found out who that tennis guy was!” Nancy informed!

“We ALREADY knew he was Shades Milligan,” Alexis sighed.

“Well we learned again!”

“Also he’s freaking rich,” Angry McArgue added, “AND he’s a third-year!”

“I thought that when he was introduced he was a Slifer.”

“He became an Obelisk Blue in TWO DAYS after that velociraptor attack!”

“Holy crap, that’s cool. But you know I already have a thing going with Zane, right?” Alexis said.

“But I’m strictly Alexis X Jaden!” Nancy Wut complained.

“Me too!” one of the hideous bench girls gleefully yelped.

 

MEANWHILE, IN A RANDOM HALLWAY…

Syrus was running around in circles. “OHMANOHMANOHMANOHMANOHMA-HA-HAN!! WHERE’S THE TENNIS TEAM?!?!”

“Hey, he finally snapped!” cheered Nancy Wut.

“Stop acting like an idiot!” Angry McArgue ordered, grabbing him and slapping him silly!

“Ow! Thanks, I needed that. NOW WHERE’S THAT TENNIS TEAM?!?!” Syrus carried on.

“The tennis court, duh,” Alexis helpfully told. “But what’s the problem?”

“Oh, Crowler’s forcing Jaden to play for the tennis team against his will and Shades Milligan’s in control over him now and he might get forced to do illegal drug trading for the squad under threat of lying to Crowler by telling her that they were JADEN’S drugs! And I gotta save’m!”

 

And in the tennis courts of pain and hardship, Shades Milligan fired off a super-special serve of SERVICE!! The tennis ball flew past the net and at Jaden’s tennis racket! “Wow, Shades!” Jaden said in awe, holding his racket out and allowing Shades to keep hitting it no matter WHERE he served from, “Back when you were alive, or less robotic, you could NEVER see!”

“That’s what artificial eyes’ll do for ya,” Shades Milligan answered, smashing the ball once again.

“And to think, if we didn’t make you up, then some OTHER guy would be the filler enemy in this episode, yo!” Suddenly the ball passed by Jaden.

“My point,” Shades Milligan pointed out, guzzling down some ‘Corpiko’ sports drink. Two random girls standing around him wiped off his forehead with a towel and handed him another tennis ball, respectively.

 

“Hiiii-YAH!!” shouted Shades Milligan, firing off another round of PAIN!!

“Woah, robots really DON’T let up!” Jaden said to himself. The ball hit his racket and he was sent sprawling onto the floor! “Augh, ugh, ooooooh, ung! AAAAARGH,” Jaden groaned, grabbing his liver!

“Hey, Jaden, get up!” Shades Milligan urged! “No pain, no gain! You gotta hustle to build that muscle! You gotta sweat to be a THREAT! If you don’t pick up the pace, you’ll lose the race!!”

“That’s easy for YOU to say, robo-dude!” Jaden winced.

“Hey, what’s THAT supposed to mean?” Shades Milligan asked in an imposing manner.

“You’re a CYBORG, and robots DON’T feel pain, you hypocrite!” Jaden cried! “Your muscles are ALREADY BUILT on your ROBOTIC FRAME! And you don’t sweat, and yet you’re ALREADY a threat! Plus, there IS no RACE!! So speak for yourself, Mr… Tennisguy!!”

“Well, there’s no I in TEAM, man!”

“But there IS an I in I! So let me rest ‘a second!”

“Silly kid,” Shades Milligan laughed, “EYE is spelled E-Y-E!”

“You JUST DON’T GET IT, DO YOU?!” Jaden stood up and tried walking away in a sulky manner.

“Hey, you can’t leave until you work on your backhand strokes, kid!” Shades Milligan ordered!

 

“He’s dumb,” Syrus syed behind the action.

“You’re right,” agreed Angry McArgue.

“Y’know, now I want some Corpiko, too,” Nancy Wut thought.

“Oh, it’s Alexis, too,” Jaden noticed.

“Hi, Alexis!” saluted Nancy Wut.

“A-A-A-A-A-LEXIS?!” Shades Milligan stuttered to the extreme. “So NICE of you to DROP BY, Alexis! I was just teaching him the basics. Y’know how it is.”

 

Alexis walked right past him on her way to Jaden. “WHA?!?!”

“Jaden,” Alexis began, “I just remembered something to tell you that I forgot to tell you when I saw you earlier at the start of the episode.”

“Oh, what?” Jaden asked.

“Professor Banner said there was a Chazz Spotting lately.”

“Oh, okay.”

That damn Slifer Slacker buttering up Alexis?! Shades Milligan furiously mulled, gaining a scary face that rivaled Crowler’s, I’ll show ‘m a thing or two about tryin’ to steal a girl from a guy who’s OBVIOUSLY hitting on her RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU!! He instantly set himself on fire, as cyborgs can do that, and stormed on over to the pair. “YO!!”

“Hey, yo, only I can say ‘yo’, yo!” Jaden defended.

“Oh, well I’m sorry. BUT YOU HAVE A LOT OF NERVE!!”

“He has a lot of nerve?” Syrus gasped. “Wow, he really means it now.”

“I’LL ONLY ASK YOU ONCE, JADEN,” Shades Milligan growled in the most frightening voice robotically possible as his eyes glowed crimson, “STEP AWAY FROM ALEXIS BEFORE I CRUSH YOUR WINDPIPE!”

“Hey, man, woah,” Jaden said, “I’m just chattin’ up mah peeps, here, that’s all. As you were saying, Not-His-Girlfriend-Alexis?”

“DIE!!” commanded Shades Milligan, popping up in Jaden’s grill!!

“UWAAAAH!! MY GRILL!!”

“YOUR GRILL’S GONNA BE A LOT WORSE IF YOU DON’T STEP OFF…”

“Don’t make ME step ON yo’ grill, son!” Jaden fought back!

“OH NO, I’M GONNA MESS UP YOUR GRILL!! IN A CARD GAME!!”

“Holy crap!” gasped Angry McArgue!

“He means it now!” Syrus cried!

“Oh, okay, I love card games,” said Jaden.

“OH, YOU DO, NOW? WINNER BECOMES ALEXIS’ FIANCE!!” Shades Milligan added, uppin’ the ante!

 

“Wait, what the hell are you talking about?” Alexis angrily shouted. “You’re taking this too seriously!”

“I just LUV a wedding!” Nancy Wut said.

“Why do we even hang out with you?” asked Angry McArgue.

“Silly, I always follow you guys around!”

Jaden got into his DUELIN’ pose. “I don’t think I like the terms, yo, but I ALWAYS bring ‘da pain when it comes ta’ DUELIN’! Let’s THROW DOWN!!”

“BOO,” somebody said.

“I wondered when that guy was gonna say something,” Syrus said, relieved that the ‘BOO’ guy was still here.

“You’re crazy!” Alexis screamed, “You’re BOTH crazy! You’re crazy people! You KNOW I’ll just get a divorce and get a huge sum in alimony! CRAZY!!”

“And what if that guy duels like he plays tennis?” reminded Syrus! “You’re screwed, man!”

“No way, remember when you told me to play baseball like it was a card game?” Jaden reminisced.

“Oh yeah, you SURE sucked, but this is DIFFERENT! It’s TENNIS!!”

“Who cares,” Jaden and Shades Milligan said in synch, “Let’s duel!!” Apparently while Syrus was spazzing out, Jaden and Shades Milligan had taken out their DUEL DISKS!! “LET’S DO THIS!!”

“And get ‘cho game on, too!!”

“BOO,” somebody said.

“Did you REALLY have to squeeze that in?”

“Yep!”

(Shades Milligan: 4000 Life Points, Jaden: 4000 Life Points)

 

“So,” Nancy Wut asked Alexis, who was now standing in between her two WEIRD friends, “two CUTIE-PIE boys are duelin’ it up for your hand in marriage, how does it make you FEEL?”

“Stop talking!” Angry McArgue ordered, punching her in the face.

“Why are you two my friends, again?” Alexis wondered aloud. “Anyways, I’m just here to watch the duel, for your information, and I want to see if the rumors are true: that Shades Milligan, after he turned into a cyborg, is really as good as Zane.”

Syrus blinked! There are rumors? And how was there enough time for the rumors to circulate if he died just three days ago, I wonder?

 

“Aw-right, I’m gonna start off this duel with the card SERVICE ACE!!” Shades Milligan’s shades shone in the sun’s rays as he played a card featuring a tennis court… an EXPLODING tennis court!

“Wait, I always thought your nickname came from your shades! And usually nicknames come from your deck, too!” thought Jaden!

“Well too bad, that wasn’t thought out before I started wearin’ my shades! This card makes me choose another card in my hand, and you choose if it’s a Spell, Trap or Monster. If you’re right, it’s discarded, but if you’re wrong, you lose 1500 Life Points!”

“Time to put on my thinkin’ expression, then!” Jaden scrunched up his face in thought. Hmm, that card’s stupidly cheap. Why don’t they make it a real card or something? It would be pretty useful in most decks that rely on burn damage. Or maybe because there’s a small margin of error, only people who couldn’t afford better cards would be forced to run it? “A SPELL!!” Jaden roared!

“Ha ha ha, I’m wearing shades,” Shades Milligan gloated, “and even I can tell that it’s a MONSTER!” He revealed his Mega Thunderball card!

“Why are you using such a crappy monster, yo?!” The Service Ace card glowed like the morning sun, and then… and then… and then… well, then I decided to end the first half. “Aw, come on, yo!!”

 

 

[spoiler=Part Two]

Yu-Gi-Oh! GX! The Fan Fic

Episode 15: Courting Alexis

Part Two

 

BUT THEN THE CARD SHOT OUT A GOLDEN GLOWING TENNIS BALL!! “Ow, yo,” screamed Jaden, as he was knocked back by the force of the blow!! “If that were a real ball, that’d leave a BRUISE, man! Yeowch!” (Jaden: 2500 Life Points)

“Well, anyways,” Shades Milligan smugly called, “I’ll end my turn here with a face-down card. Your move.” He set his card and tilted his shades into the gleaming sunlight.

URGH, when he does that, somehow, it makes him irritatingly cool! WHY?! “Awright, man, MAH draw!!” Jaden drew a card… a TRAP card! It featured feathers in a gust of wind. Rad, yo, FEATHER Wind!! I’ll only use it once! But before that, I’d better think of a strategy! Which means… I’ll attack’m! Yeah! And today, I can use my SPECIAL buddy, ‘cause the script calls for something KOOL today!

 

“I summon… ELEMENTAL HERO… AVIAN!! In Attack Mode.”

“NO, JADEN, NO!!” cried his helpless friends!! But they were too late. Out of a card inside of a whirling, twirling, hurling whirlwind of wind came Avian, flying out with an intense ‘inner beast unleashed’ pose!

“RWWWAAAAAAAARRRAAAAAARRWAARG!!” he groaned! (Avian: 1000 Attack Points)

“Jaden, you FOOL! Whenever you use HIM, he DIES!” Syrus recalled!

“But today’s episode script CALLS for me specifically!” said Avian, pointing to his script.

“Oh, well that’s okay then. Go ahead, by all means.”

“Now, Avian,” asked Jaden, “are you up for a GOOD attack?”

“Why bother ASKING when you can SEE MY QUILL CASCADE!!!!!?!” Avian repeated the same pose as before, showering the arena in fluffy feathers. FOR MASSIVE DAMAGE!!

 

“Yeah, WRONG!!” corrected Shades Milligan!

“Uh-oh, he’s wrong!” Nancy Wut gasped!

“I activate my Trap Card: RECEIVE Ace! It negates an attack and sends it back to you for 1500 damage! Good luck, heh, FEATHERING this storm!! Hahaha!” My use of humor is obviously helping my relationship with Alexis! Just look at her! Alexis was around seventy feet away, drinking at a water fountain. She’s SO totally falling for me! A Trap Card featuring a guy who seemed to be from Prince of Tennis hitting a tennis ball flipped up, gobbled up the feathers, and shot them out in reverse!

“AHH, FEATHERS!!” Jaden cried! (Jaden: 1000 Life Points)

“Ah, don’t sweat it, kid, since I still have to discard three cards from my deck to use that Trap,” Shades Milligan said, discarding his three cards.

“But I’m STILL sweating it! That’s not a fair price! That’s like, unfair! That’s FIFTEEN HUNDRED LIFE POINTS, and that’s just THREE CARDS!” Jaden whined!

“Have you ever wondered how I got to Obelisk Blue right after I was turned into a cyborg?” Shades Milligan brought up. “My enhanced ROBONIC brain made me think: why not make a cheap themed deck, instead of a LAME themed deck?”

“He’s got a point there,” Alexis said.

“Word!” Jaden retorted! “There’s not heart in that kinda deck!”

“You DON’T use ‘word’ like THAT, Jaden!” Syrus informed!

“Oh well! I’ll throw down a FACE-DOWN!” Jaden set a card… with spirit.

“BOO,” someone said.

“Jaden, is it wise to anger that… thing… like that?” Avian reckoned.

“Who dang cares, man? Go, Shades, just take your DANG turn.”

 

“Thanks, bro, ‘cause now I can use SMASH Ace!” Shades Milligan drastically flipped up his Trap, which featured a guy smashing another guy in the face, comically… with a tennis ball. Y’see, it’s only funny, until you mention the ball. Tennis makes everything sad and depressing.

“WHAT is UP with ALL the ACES?!” Jaden roared, flippin’ out!!

“I said a CHEAP THEME DECK! I threw out my old Shade Specters deck to make room for my Tennis Ace deck! But enough about that. Now I can flip up the top card of my deck, and if it’s a monster, then you get hit by a tennis ball!!”

“Is that ALL you can do!”

“I’m pretty sure it is,” Angry McArgue snarkily remarked.

“Hey, a Mystic Shine Ball, or whatever it’s called!” Shades Milligan cheered, holding up a MONSTER card featuring a glowy ball of doom. A mystical cloud of tennis appeared in the sky in a dramatic and scary swirly pattern. “This game is OVER!!”

 

“Heh, yeah, RIGHT, Shades,” Jaden shrugged, “just try feathering THIS STORM!!” Jaden flipped up his Trap card! The one with the wind! And feathers! “It’s FEATHER WIND!!”

“B-but that’s an AVIAN Trap card! What could THAT do?!” Syrus and Shades Milligan wigged out!

“It negates your Spell card, boyo!” Jaden explained!

“YAAAAAAY!” cheered the audience.

“I’ll try my best!” Avian flapped his wings around, making the eerie tennis cloud move SLIGHTLY to the right. It fired its glowing ball of death at the four viewers!

“YAAAAaa…AAAAAAHH!!” They exploded violently.

“What the hell!” Shades Milligan yelled! “You just killed Alexis!”

“Um, holograms much?” Jaden sighed.

“Yeah, I’m PEACHY keen!” Nancy Wut said, giving off a thumbs-up through the smoke.

“WHY DOES AVIAN HURT EVERYONE HE LOVES?!” Syrus screamed!

“Heh,” Shades Milligan smirked. “if I cried whenever something bad happened to ME, then I’d NEVER get anywhere! It’s okay with me!”

“He knows what he’s talking about, he was mauled by a velociraptor!” Nancy Wut remembered.

“WE KNOW!!” Angry McArgue roared, smashing her friend’s head in!

“Gosh, Angry, can’t you, like, NOT be angry, for just ONCE?” Alexis sarcastically asked.

“But it’s my character trait…”

“I WAS SARCASTIC. I KNOW.”

 

“Sometimes, ‘ya gotta TAKE hits, ‘ta GIVE hits!” Shades Milligan remarked.

“Aw, great, he’s back to his sports clichés again,” Jaden groaned.

“Like YOU don’t make lame jokes!”

“Yeah WRONG Mr. Tin Man yo! I’ll have yo know that since I’m the happy-go-lucky stereotypical shonen hero of this show, whatever I say is instantly pop culture! Just look at this, y’all! Banana boat!” Nobody seemed to care that he’d said banana boat. “Let’s see YOU try something better.”

“… You’ve just been GENDOWNED!” Shades Milligan laughed!

“You’re just QUOTING SOMEBODY MORE SUCESSFUL THAN YOU. HOW IS THAT COOL?!?!” Jaden demanded answers!

“… Mario, Wario… Lucario!”

“SHUT UP! JUST SHUT! UP!”

“Hey, Jaden, remember that one movie?” Shades Milligan asked.

“… Whaaaaat movie, yo?”

“THE ONE WHERE SNORLAX EFFING OWNED!!”

“AW, THAT IS IT, jabroni!! YOU’S GOIN’ DOWN LIKE ONE ‘A MY FACE-DOWNS!!” Jaden went berserk! Could anybody stop him?!

“BOO,” somebody said.

“Ugh, oh, whew,” Jaden sighed, full of relief, “I’m glad THAT guy brought me back to my senses. I’ll just get my revenge… with cards!”

“’Atta boy, Jaden!” congratulated Avian!

 

“… Hey, d’ja hear that thing that said ‘boo’?” Shades Milligan asked.

“Yeah,” Jaden realized, “it was revealed to be a DUCK on episode FOUR! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!”

“AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!”

“AHHHHAHAHAHA!!”

“OOHAHAHAHAHAHEEHAHAHHUUR!!”

The two laughed for an irritatingly long time. (Jaden: 1000 Life Points, Shades Milligan: 4000 Life Points)

 

“This is one of the five dumbest things that’s ever happened in this show,” Syrus shrugged. “I bet we’ll get cancelled.”

“But we got signed on for four seasons!” Nancy Wut shivered. “I’m scared, guys!”

“NOBODY’S getting cancelled,” Alexis assured, “let me take care of this.” Alexis walked up to the two laughing buffoons.

“AHAHAHAHAHEEHAHAHA!!”

“AHAHEHEHEHEHEHEAHAHEH!!”

“SHUUUUUT UP!!” Alexis punched Jaden in the gut and kicked Shades Milligan in the you-know whats.

“AAAAHUUUUUURGH!!” Jaden recoiled!

“But I’m a cyborg…” Shades Milligan gasped, crumbling to the floor. “Tell my mother… the grandkids’ll have to… wait…” Wow, he thought, she floats like a butterfly, and stings like a CYBORG butterfly… what a babe!

“Heh, d-don’t worry,” Jaden gurgled, standing up once more, “I’m still in ‘da game…”

“Word to your mother, son!” Avian added in, for extra kick.

“M…me too.” Shades Milligan recovered quickly, being a cyborg and all, and regained his composure.

“Too bad, ‘cuz I’m a’ playin’ Polymerization, oh yeah!” Jaden used his signature Spell! “Clayman and Burstinatrix, fuse together now in the coolest way possible!” Sadly, instead they simply flew into the air, floated, swirled together with a cheap effect, and then UN-swirled as Elemental Hero Rampart Blaster. “It’s ELEMENTAL HERO RAMPART BLASTER OH YEAH BABAY!!” cheered Jaden! (Rampart Blaster: 2000 Attack Points) Slowly, she floated back down upon the field next to Avian.

“Now we’re REALLY in the zone, guys!” Avian said, but nobody seemed to care.

 

“All right!” Syrus said with an oddly angry face, “Now that he has THAT weirdo hero, he’ll DEFINETLY win!”

“Avian, attack!” commanded Jaden! “Electric Orb!”

“HAAAAAAAAH…” Avian charged up a bunch of electricity in his palms and fired it off in the shape of an orb?! “I never even knew I could DO that!” Avian chuckled.

“UGHAAAAH!!” screamed Shades Milligan, struck by the orb and contained within the massive dust cloud the hologram had provided! (Shades Milligan: 3000 Life Points) “AHH!! AWAAAHAHAAARGH!! UWAAAAAH!!”

“Re-LAX, it’s JUST one-thousand damage…UNLIKE THIS GUY!!” Rampart Blaster held out her blaster-arm and fired off a BARRAGE OF MISSILES!!

“OOHAHHEHHURGAHHGAHOFFHEFFKHINNN!!” screeched Shades Milligan. (Shades Milligan: 1000 Life Points)

“And THAT is why you put MONSTERS in your deck!” Jaden gloated! “Ones beside Mega Thunderball! ‘Cause he STINKS!”

“You SURE showed HIM, Jaden!” Syrus gleefully noted!

“Well, of COURSE he’s gonna show him,” Alexis stated, “he’s got YU in his last name. How OBVIOUS is it?”

“What’re you talking about?”

“That’s a DUMB hypothesis.”

“Hey, everybody! Alexis makes DUMB hypotheses!”

“FINE, just forget I said anything.” Alexis had given up in despair.

 

“Grr, I’ll show YOU a monster card! But first, I play Deuce!”

“Heh, you dropped a Deuce!”

“SHADDAP!” Shades Milligan ‘threw down’ a Spell card, featuring a scoreboard for tennis! It read ’40 – 40’. How appropriate! “I can only activate this card when both players have 1000 Life Points. Each of us chooses one monster, and from now on, it’s the only one that can attack. When it deals Battle Damage twice, then the owner of that monster…” He took a pause to allow his shades to shine dazzlingly in the sunlight. “… Automatically wins the match!”

“Well THAT be dumb!” Jaden shrugged.

“Who cares? Me, because I summon Big Server, the monster I was boasting so much about!” Shades Milligan summoned… a robotic tennis player! “GAME. SET. MATCH,” it said in a freaky monotone. (Big Server: 300 Attack Points)

“That TOO be dumb!” Jaden shrugged yet again.

“Stop making fun of my heritage!” Angry McArgue shouted!

“What’s up?” Jaden asked.

“I’m IRISH, so stop saying ‘that be this, that be that’! It’s offensive!”

 

At that point, everybody had given up on Angry McArgue.

 

“Aaaaaanyways, Big Server, use Spike Serve!” Shades Milligan quickly commanded!

“UUUUUURRRR YAAAAAAAAAH,” Big Server said in its odd monotone, flinging a metal spike ball of DOOM into the air and smacking it with its SUPER TENNIS RACKET ARM!!

 

This is NOT peachy keen!! Nancy Wut mentally gasped, as the camera zoomed in on her!

“Ow, a metal ball of death!” Jaden yelped, as he was struck by the illegal tennis ball! (Jaden: 700 Life Points)

“HAAAAAhahahahahahahahaaaaaa!!” Shades Milligan laughed! “Now just one more turn until I make Alexis my bride-to-be!” He pointed toward his Deuce card.

“Dammit, I wish he’d never dropped that Deuce!” Jaden smiled faintly.

“THAT WAS NEVER FUNNY!! Well, back to the main plot, when my Big Server attacks directly, I get to add a Service Ace into my hand from my deck, and you can draw a card, too.”

“Is this JUST to give me the advantage in this episode?”

“Could be.” Shades Milligan systematically placed his card-he-won’t-be-using into his hand. Jaden drew… a card with a picture of Avian in ‘da big city firing feathers out of his wings!

Well, whadda ‘ya know, Jaden thought, it WAS just for me to get an advantage! Good thing this card is USELESS in any other situation!

“Now, since apparently further research upon this Deuce card I used through the internet,” Shades Milligan helpfully told, “I won’t be using that Service Ace, since the effect is gonna be confusing.”

“How so?” asked Nancy Wut.

“Well, Deuce says that it’ll only let you win once you perform Battle Damage twice, but then Service Ace is EFFECT Damage, although it may have NOT said just Battle Damage, and so anyways, you’re gonna call it right, making it completely useless, so I guess it’s your turn… AFTER I PLAY GIANT RACKET!!” Big Server was suddenly wearing a comically-oversized tennis racket on its back. “It negates damage and keeps my guy from being destroyed once per turn, so neener neener neener!”

 

Jaden took a deep breath. “I use De-Fusion and then I use Feather Shot which will let my Avian attack thrice this turn since I have three monsters.” Avian flew into the sky as Rampart Blaster fell apart, and then our winged hope fired off his feather barrage, which blew up the racket, blew up the robot, and blew up Shades Milligan.

“UWAAAH!!” Shades Milligan cried, as he exploded! (Shades Milligan: 0 Life Points, Game Over)

 

“That was kyool!” Nancy Wut dribbled.

“That was dumb,” complained Angry McArgue.

“Oh yeah, Jaden’s gettin’ married, and hopefully will not divorce, will not abuse Alexis, and will not abandon her after having three kids!” Syrus supported. Alexis turned toward Syrus with a deathly gleam in her eye.

“Uh, Lexeh, don’t kill the boy, please,” Nancy Wut pleaded.

 

The smoke surrounding Shades Milligan faded, revealing that the only parts remaining of his cyborgy frame were his left arm, most of his torso, his head, and his feet (no legs!) “Ugh,” he groaned, “at least I’m still alive… due to being a cyborg and everything.”

“Cyborgs don’t make sense, buuuut…” Jaden got ready for it… “THAT’S GAME!!”

“BOO,” somebody said.

“We SURE showed HIM,” Avian sniffed.

“Oh, get outta here, man!” Jaden ordered.

“Oh all right.” Avian and his buddies faded away.

“GRRRRRR, NOW I’LL ALWAYS BE A VIRGIN! I WON’T FORGET THIS!” Shades Milligan’s parts magnetically bonded together, then a rocket thruster in his back allowed for a quick, flashy getaway.

“Well, we won’t be seein’ HIM soon!” Jaden said as his friends and admirers surrounded him.

“I don’t wanna marry you, I wanna marry Syrus’s sexy older brother,” Alexis said.

“Well duh, I don’t wanna marry a GIRL!” Jaden said. “Girls are YUCKY and covered in COOTIES! EW! What I want… is a woman!”

“So you’re interested in older women?” Syrus asked sheepishly.

“The keyword is woman, Sy!” told Jaden.

 

And upon a cliff overlooking the sunset, Shades Milligan wept in silence as he rebuilt his body with a wrench and random pieces of scrap metal. Just you wait, Alexis, I’ll win you over… SOMEHOOOOOW!!