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[quote name='Captain Remo' timestamp='1356736478' post='6104549']
Oh yeah?

W-well.....I'll....POST SOME RUDE STUFF IN MY PERSONAL DIARY
[/quote]You tell them chillbro, you tell them.


Also I love how 2 mods got on my case today.


This Kaiba avatar is bad luck for me...

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*sigh* Never thought I'd be walking into here. But at least I can speak my mind a little bit here.

Double C4

Gender?: Male
Are you in a relationship?: This...is a little hard to explain.
Do you have love experience?: Technically, yes.
Do you mind having your relationship status open to public?: Not at all

I can give the full story about my "relationship" if anyone wants to hear it. I'll gladly tell it. Though, Striker already knows about it.

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*takes deep breath* Perhaps it's best to start from the beginning...

[spoiler=My Story]During my Junior year in high school last year, I was part of this Intro Theater Class. It was of my own volition to choose it the year before because acting was an interest I had for a long time. Anyway, it was one of the few classes I actually liked, but some of what I liked about it was taken away once I started getting annoyed like hell by this one kid, who did nothing but tease me for no reason. And every day he did it, I wanted to smack him upside the head. But I'm not like that, since I'm a pacifist. And to be honest, he was the reason why I wasn't able to fully enjoy being in that class. But he's not the focal point. He just gets involved later on.

Anyway, this story actually starts when I notice this one girl in my Theater class, named Desiree. She was one of the more beautiful girls I've met in my life and befriended. And well, allow me to put it this way. Every beautiful girl I befriend, there's always that one thought in my mind, wanting to ask this girl out. But another thought of there being another guy with this girl always confuses me. And at times, I ask a few of these girls that question about having a boyfriend, and about more than half of them said yes, turning down my future offers. And for the rest, I keep to myself, staying as total friends, and I'm cool with that full circle. This is when Asperger's (Borderline, really) Autism, same as Striker, makes this a routine, and I wish I could've done something about it sooner.

Anyway, back to what I was talking about, like I said, because Desiree was another of these beautiful girls that I could possibly have a chance with, I still had that possibility in my mind saying that she is with somebody. And soon enough, she told me herself that, and my hopes were dashed again. And I thought, [i]And that's another girl off my list of possible date[/i]. However, what broke the routine, and what shocked me to all hell, was that she asked ME out some time later. I didn't know what to do. I've never experienced this break in the routine, so I had to improvise and find the best way to get out of this so I know how to get out of it the next time it happens, which might not happen for a long time. Believe me. After school is done, who knows when I'll find that special someone?

Here's what I did: For the first couple times Desiree asked me to go out with her, even though she was still with this other guy, I replied, "No." And every time I said it, she asked, "Why?" It wasn't until around the third time (Maybe?) she asked that I finally said, "Because you already have a boyfriend." And then, the weirdest response I've ever gotten in my entire life from her was, "So?" This hit me right on the brain, and I thought, [i]Okay, now I know there's something wrong here.[/i] She was wrong in the head, and I just wanted to get away from her[i].[/i] But I couldn't. Why? Because she was too damn beautiful to walk away. And I hate breaking women's hearts, unless they're bullying me, then I don't care. And soon enough, her beauty made me give in, and I said to her, "I'll try."

And that, was the biggest mistake of my life. Why? Because I lied to her face. I said I'll try this out, but what I'm really doing, is making her happy by saying we go out in school, when I don't have her phone number, her Facebook, no means of contact other than passing by each other in school. We say hi to each other, he hug most of the time, I occasionally ask how's she's doing, and that's it. We walk passed each other like nothing happened. And she seems okay with that. And if I tell her I've been lying to her, I would have a guilty conscience for hurting her. Even though I would have admitted it to her, I wouldn't have said it to everybody in school, and it would slowly but surely spread throughout the school. And the story would be altered from how it went as a result.

But here's the reason as to why I haven't gotten myself out of this mess. I never bothered to ask Desiree if she was still with this other guy, even after we have been "going out" for over a year. I should have, but if I did, I'd be at risk of her getting suspicious and then things begin going down a road I don't want it to go down to. My life is currently at risk at the moment, mainly because of the fact that because I am currently unknown to whether or not this guy is still around, how do I know that he won't come to my school with a pistol and try to kill me for messing with his girl's feelings? I've made one mistake after another, and I have no clue how to get out of this without making a huge fuss out of this, or anyone else doing the same. I'm truly stuck on what my solution is as of now.

And here's what I think will happen if I tell the whole school about this lie. Desiree will cry her heart out because she was so foolish in believing in a guy like me and wouldn't want to talk to me ever again. But that's just with her. Her friends will be all over me, constantly asking me, "Why did you do this to her?" "How can you manipulate that girl's emotions for over a year?" And I'll reply, "Because my mind couldn't handle turning down her offer." And I'm pretty sure I have to explain what happened at a different angle just to have everybody understand all this, but still treat me like crap. I just can't go through with it, not yet. I'm not ready to die.

Now, to everybody in school, I'm the guy who does the morning announcements everyday I'm present. But, if I tell the truth, then everybody's gonna think differently of me, minus a few friends I've already told who are for telling Desiree the truth. And I'm gonna end up being the guy who screwed an innocent girl's emotions for over a year because she was too beautiful to turn down. And remember the annoying guy I mentioned before? Well, currently, he keeps saying to me, "She's a keeper." Well, wouldn't that be nice, if I actually was going out with her. Once I tell the truth, he's gonna keep reminding me of what I did, as if I didn't understand what I was doing, and I might end up being in my first fight. I feel horrible for messing with Desiree all this time, and telling the truth won't make a difference cause I'm never gonna forget when I end up saying yes to her offer.

I...I just can't find a way out of this. If there was any way for me to get out of this without it ruining both Desiree's life and mine, I'll take it so long as it's something within my moral code. Because there are so many things that I can't do that I wish I could do, but my Autism has really f*cked up my judgement, and now I'm screwed. If my life is at risk all because I said yes, then my life is already forfeit because I'm pretty sure this other guy is possibly some big black guy with a pistol who is part of gang and will shoot me when he finds out what I look like and then kill me on sight. If I can avoid that, I would take that opportunity, no matter the reason. But I don't see that happening. I'd say I've been worrying about this more than I worried about the end of the world before the day it was proven false.[/spoiler]

*Breathes deeply* So, yeah. I got the short end of the stick, and I'm at a standstill at what to do.

BTW, because I lack any contact with her, I can't tell her as of now. But even then, I'd hesitate every time I try.

Can anyone relate? Probably not.

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*reads story*

Okay, first off: A black guy with a pistol? Really, dude? Of all things to be scared of, you imagine THAT?

Second: I understand why you went for it and all - believe me, I know that feel - but if you want to get out of it, a few suggestions: One, ask if you could meet this guy she's already dating. Two, ask her what you mean to her or what she means to you. Three... well... admit the truth and take the blow. After all, she persisted to ask you out despite all complications involving that other guy. If anyone should be responsible for your guilt, it's her.

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Hmmm... The Autism, yes, I can relate.
Everything else:
Poly-Amerous. Simple. Basically, as long as everyone involved knows, is okay with it, and is involved, then it's perfectly okay. ... She does practice this, right? If not then it's Polygamy and she's the one who's to blame. Though, it's never the girls fault. Ever. I hate society.
The one thing I don't get it this: How have you been "Dating" for over a year and she's yet to give you any contact info?

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Honestly

IMO

You should ask about her old boyfriend.

Does she like you more than him? What is he to her? IS SHE STILL WITH HIM?

If she is not with him, then you are home free to date a beautiful girl.


if she IS with him, then, tell her the truth.

It'll hurt, but nothing can be done ^^''

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OKAY, OKAY, STOP OVERWHELMING ME HERE!! JESUS!

*sigh*

@Thar: I'm scared of getting shot, period. I don't want to end up with a bullet in my head because I want to tell her the truth. But, with your first and second suggestions, neither of them can be done, sort of. I don't know if this guy is still with her, so her response could be hit-or-miss. Plus, if I ask her what I mean to her, she'll get suspicious, and then I'm at risk again. You may relate, but you probably wouldn't understand how big of a blow this would be if I went through with telling her the truth. So, yeah, I'm in deep sh*t.

@Deuce: You're autistic, too? Who'da thunk it? Anyway, I'm not sure what you mean by "Practicing it". And Polygamy applies to these relationships too? Not just marriage? I shoulda known. And to answer your question, I have no f**king clue. Everybody finds it weird, but they don't question it that much.

@Fluttershy: I'll ask her about it eventually. I just gotta find the right time and moment to do it. I'm not good with this kinda stuff, and if I screw up, I don't know what'll come of my reputation, if any, at school? But, if I am to tell her about this, I'll probably go with the "He's a better choice for you instead of me" speech. But, I'll find out how it goes when I actually speak to her.

And you know what's worse (Shoulda said this before), nobody outside of school knows about this. Not even my family. So, this has been a big secret that I've kept to myself until about a couple weeks ago.

EDIT: And my heart is racing just talking about this stuff. I wish I can be calm about this, but I'm FREAKING THE F**K OUT!!

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