Self-Revelation [Serious]

[LordCowCowCowCowCowCowCowCow]

So I put this in Misc cause it didn't feel quite right in General. With the help of a friend I realized something about myself. That I'm sure some of you have realized and may have tried to warn me of.

 

I want to be perfect. Not in the sense of perfect grammar and such, but perfection of spirit and heart. Not for myself, not for any gratification on my part. But for others. I want to be the most perfect person possible so I can make the world better, and make the people in it feel better. I found myself legitimately thinking I want to save the world, and do it at whatever cost to myself as it takes.

 

I hate that I can't be perfect, I hate how I have flaws, and I hate how I fail to be the person I want to be. Which is the kind of person who always does what's right and what will bring the world into a better future. I go too far in this endeavor, which has caused problems with others as well as myself. I'm not sure I can ever fully stop this either. I just can't help but strive for complete perfection.

 

As negative as the term "White Knight" is considered by many, that's how I've been building myself for. To be a flawless shining knight that will make everyone I can happy, and make the world better. I honestly don't expect any of you to believe it's not at all because of selfish reasons, or to make people like me. But I honestly only want this for the good of others. I truly don't need to feel liked and am baffled when I am liked.

It's not healthy, I know, but I don't know how well I can prevent this. I feel it's inevitable I put too much upon myself and utterly destroy myself. No one can, and no one should, put this kind of expectation on themself. And yet, here I am, trying to do just that.

 

I felt that, since YCM has been a witness to some of what this causes, I would put it out there. And maybe it will make it difficult to hide from this fact, for myself.

 

If you respond you don't have to be serious, but I'd appreciate it.

[Simping For Hina]

Well, this is not true simply because you don't want to be like me at all.

[Blake]

i want to be the most perfect person so that the people who are worth it won't throw me away

[宇佐見 蓮子@C94]

i don't see why this is a bad thing

 

you definitely should continue on this path of wanting to please everyone :o

[Simping For Hina]

i don't see why this is a bad thing

 

you definitely should continue on this path of wanting to please everyone :o

I feel like that is just a bad thing entirely, because you won't be able to please the person who matters most: Yourself. The thing is, you'll be trying hard to please everyone and the fact of the matter is, is that you can't. So, you'll always come up short in the eyes of yourself and you'll never have self-appreciation.

[宇佐見 蓮子@C94]

then that means i'll always seek self-improvement.

 

plus, self-appreciation and self-complacent are two different things.

[LordCowCowCowCowCowCowCowCow]

I feel like that is just a bad thing entirely, because you won't be able to please the person who matters most: Yourself. The thing is, you'll be trying hard to please everyone and the fact of the matter is, is that you can't. So, you'll always come up short in the eyes of yourself and you'll never have self-appreciation.

To clarify I also think this is a bad thing. In fact I've actually tried to talk Toyo herself out of such a path, because I know how it becomes.

[Simping For Hina]

then that means i'll always seek self-improvement.

 

plus, self-appreciation and self-complacent are two different things.

I would rather seek self-improvement because it means that I don't rely on the opinion of others to reach a setting goal of that I am seeking of myself. It is much easier to be critical about yourself than let others define what critiques you give yourself. Self-appreciation is a goal while self-complacent is a manner of reaching a goal if you don't give up.

[宇佐見 蓮子@C94]

I don't get why it's bad to let the opinion of others define you. In the end, it will always be others who hold the most sway over your life. Humans are social creatures, and as such continuously seeking the approval of other people is only natural. Constantly trying to appeal to everyone, constantly changing yourself to suit what others wish of you is a much better way to live in my opinion.

 

Even if it's self-destructive.

[Simping For Hina]

Because it is self-destructive, that it why it is bad. Humans are also seeking for interaction with others, not for the approval. The only time approval matters is when there is ulterior gain. But singularly, the abstract mention of humans being a species is improper toward the working goal of a single human, as a single person strives to make them self liked, not an image of who they are liked.

[LordCowCowCowCowCowCowCowCow]

I don't get why it's bad to let the opinion of others define you. In the end, it will always be others who hold the most sway over your life. Humans are social creatures, and as such continuously seeking the approval of other people is only natural. Constantly trying to appeal to everyone, constantly changing yourself to suit what others wish of you is a much better way to live in my opinion.

 

Even if it's self-destructive.

I don't think you understand that in this case it's not for the approval of others. Their approval doesn't matter, them being happy and the world being made better does. (again not defending this mindset just explaining it)

[宇佐見 蓮子@C94]

But the image of who they are liked is a part of their 'self' too.

 

And really Cow, it is a mindset worth defending. The wish to make others happy and improve their lives is a very noble and respectable wish.

[(GigaDrillBreaker)]

I want to be perfect.

i want to be the most perfect person so that the people who are worth it won't throw me away

then that means i'll always seek self-improvement.

I would rather seek self-improvement because it means that I don't rely on the opinion of others to reach a setting goal of that I am seeking of myself.

 

This coin has way too many sides.

[mitchermitcher]

I know you guys are arguing for total opposites in terms of mentality regarding the self and others, but I don't feel like either way of thinking is very different.

 

Cow, I don't think your wanting to be better than what you are now is wrong. According to Dae it's bad because you'll never be satisfied and I agree with that, but I don't think it's wrong.

[LordCowCowCowCowCowCowCowCow]

I know you guys are arguing for total opposites in terms of mentality regarding the self and others, but I don't feel like either way of thinking is very different.

 

Cow, I don't think your wanting to be better than what you are now is wrong. According to Dae it's bad because you'll never be satisfied and I agree with that, but I don't think it's wrong.

Then you are mistaken. It's quite wrong, and I will continue to say so to keep others from following my path. I don't think I am making it clear enough. I don't just want to better myself. I want to be a perfect individual who will destroy themself to fix the world and help the people in it. No matter what happens to me. Always hating myself for not being able to do so.

[mitchermitcher]

And I can't help but feel that desire isn't that strange or wrong. Especially the part where you don't want others to think the same way.

 

Now if you do get a chance to demonstrate this belief in real life, that might be interesting. But as an ideal you hold in your heart, I don't think it's very strange.

[Agro]

cow.

 

go to sleep.

[Tourmaline]

F♥cking ew ♥♥♥

 

Just do whatever makes you happiest Ricardo. And especially don't emulate people who aren't happy themselves. Would you copy a homeless man's financial strategues? (also also you should totally just accept the inherent selfish nature of us).

 

If you acknowledge that you do what you do to be happy for yourself, you will clarify who is worth working for and what you want better (you will no longer be clouded by others nor irrelevant principles like "humans are social creatures). Before I acknowledged my selfishness, I was depressed and wanted to compromise my happiness for my mother's and for people who weren't working for my happiness in return. After I changed, I knew what I wanted. I learned who actually made me happy and the goals I needed to reach to be happy. Better than ever before, kind of like how many other successful and happy people think (you're an utter moron if you think the happiest people are the ones sacrificing themselves repeatedly). It's a more honest lifestyle, too. Who isn't doing what they're doing because it satisfies their view of the world? At least you won't do it based on a dependence of attention/someone else's ideas.

 

And anyway, this isn't another person's ideas. Try to see if you ever do anything that you think goes against your values/happiness (I'll gladly prove you wrong if you can't) then see if I really caused those actions or if you're actually just selfish.

 

Oh, and it must be stressed that selfishness is not bad. Badness is bad, controlled selfishness is how the social contract came upon that is the reason we have ANY international cooperation. Just be smart about it and control it to create a happier/more secure world for you/your loved ones because you actually love them and not for an empty moral cause someone else thought of.

[Ryusei the Morning Star]

I've always seen perfection as something to strive for. Neigh impossible to achieve, and the worse possible fate to acquire as you will become a truely stale entity at that time

[Simping For Hina]

I've always seen perfection as something to strive for. Neigh impossible to achieve, and the worse possible fate to acquire as you will become a truely stale entity at that time

You clearly haven't met me, as I am perfection incarnate.

[Ryusei the Morning Star]

 I am perfection incarnate.

Then I have no interest in you

[Simping For Hina]

Then I have no interest in you

I would hope not. I am not the gender you are attracted to you.

[Ryusei the Morning Star]

I would hope not. I am not the gender you are attracted to you.

Perfection is the epitome of static staleness, if you were truly perfect, you would be the most boring individual I would ever have the misfortune of meeting

[Simping For Hina]

til that i am boring.

[Tourmaline]

Neither of you have shown the slightest amount of understanding of perfection. Anything perfect would be ineffable.