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What do you guys see in me anyway?

Toffee.

By Toffee.
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Toffee. Newbie

Toffee.

Posted
Posted

I messed up tonight, I lost another fight

I still mess up but I'll just start again

I keep falling down, I keep on hitting the ground

I always get up now to see what's next

 

Why does life always feel like a small car driven by hamsters?

5y4GGY.gif

Like, you try to be presentable/etc, but there is always that small 'something' that just-so-happen to occur, which will ruin any integrity you try to present to those around you.

 

....Zootopia ruined me, but I've honestly loved it.

 

I've felt rather beside myself these past few days/nights.

Not good. Not bad. Just... I don't honestly know.

 

Birds don't just fly, they fall down and get up

Nobody learns without getting it wrong

 

Really, I'm in need in a hug. Like, someone tell me it's ok that I'm a failure and you accept me for that/know that I'm a funking idiot/etc.

 

I won't give up, no I won't give in

'Til I reach the end and then I'll start again

No I won't leave, I wanna try everything

I wanna try even though I could fail

I won't give up, no I won't give in

'Til I reach the end and then I'll start again

No, I won't leave, I wanna try everything

I wanna try even though I could fail

 

I know that trying to be on everyone's good side is seen as a negative flaw of sorts, or at least to a lot of you, because heaven forbid someone always to keep an aura of optimism about them.

'Course, I guess that might have been a reason why I have this apparent meme-obsession; It's the little things in life like that, that give me a moments escape to let me remember my laughter.

Laughter has always been important to me; It's like a universal turn-on(not sexually, in this context) for being able to share an emotion as trivial as laughing.

I've always enjoyed little things in life like that... A warm smile from someone who would laugh at a corny joke/pun/etc, show appreciation for my weird-as-funk witty sense of "humor", just make me feel welcomed to anyone.

 

Look how far you've come, you filled your heart with love

Baby you've done enough, take a deep breath

Don't beat yourself up, don't need to run so fast

Sometimes we come last, but we did our best

 

Like... I'm basically destined to be alone. Or at least always feel like that. One of the misfortunes of being a Pred, in a world that's mostly prey

I want to do more things with you guys, try to be more open about things, etc, etc. I'm a troubled soul that's often lost his heart and ends up trying to recover it from what will always feel like finding hay in a needle stack. Really wish I wasn't such a funking coward.

I'm always under the impression the worst will occur whenever I want to be more social/engaging/etc with you guys, and I'm always under the impression that I'm expected to do so much more/be so much better/etc, but I'm honestly incapable of living up to any of that.

Honestly, I'm just a goofy cat video; I'm relevant fr all of 2 seconds, and then I'm thrown into a pit until I somehow rehash that video out of sheer desperation. But why do I keep going? You all know what it will be/will actually be/etc. It's not like it requires X-ray vision to see through a cheap trick like that.

 

I won't give up, no I won't give in

'Til I reach the end and then I'll start again

No I won't leave, I wanna try everything

I wanna try even though I could fail

I won't give up, no I won't give in

'Til I reach the end and then I'll start again

No I won't leave, I wanna try everything

I wanna try even though I could fail

 

Honestly, I owe a lot of you an apology or two. This subject always greatly bothers me, but it's the truth; My temper gets the best of me, at honestly the worst times. It's why I'm always going to ruin anything I want to do with you guys. But then I'm always kicking myself later because I put all this effort into things, only to see it all fall right back on my face, and just leave yet another negative impression on everyone. Really, why should I bother, when you all know I'm a funking loser. Or at least, now, because I'm being public over this. I never, realistically, get angry or anything. If anything, I just become more self-loathing and cynical- SURE, GO AHEAD, ASSUME ALL OF THIS WAS WRITTEN IN THAT SORT OF VAIN. You'd be wrong, but I know better from you, reader. Why am I now assuming you are reading this with a negative view of me the entire time? Why wouldn't you? I'd also do it. It's why I hate myself more often then I should. I'm just another Predator filthy memer; We only exist to go savage produce memes and eat prey animals spread more cancer on the internet.

But that's honestly my worst quality; Why do you only look at it like it's my "best" one? I'm more then that to you, and I wish you'd stop looking at me like that, despite the fact I know you wont. I mean, why else do I really want to do other things with you guys? So you'd look at me as something different. But alas, it was never meant to be.

 

I'll keep on making those new mistakes

I'll keep on making them every day

Those new mistakes

 

I have little to no self esteem/confidence.

I'm prone to snapping my fangs at people over the dumbest reasons.

I don't really believe in myself because I know nobody else will, nor have they ever.

I wish people knew me more, but that will only lead to me in tears(not literally).

This topic just makes me look like an attention whore.

The universe wants me to be a furfag but I refuse to let it.

Memes are sheet/they were never funny to begin with, because only like 5% of the population actually gets the joke.

I'm honestly nothing to you guys, and I still find it incredibly hard to believe that I could be anything as "likable".

 

So go on, YCM... What do you see in me?

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~NOiSE~ Newbie

~NOiSE~

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Posted

I think the point of this thread has been missed

 

I don't really know you Armz, just know you've been influential to some people around here for awhile but you feel like it's for naught and you have some issues you want to work out. Feel like I'd be better to talk about this sort of thing if it was one-on-one so let me know if you'd be interested in that and we can chat via skype or whatever you prefer.  

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Tourmaline Apprentice

Tourmaline

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Posted

....Why do we never do that anymore?

 

I've been busy the last seven weeks and even busier the last few days because of final exams on the 16th and 18th. My 3DS' top screen also broke, sort of, and now there's like a black crack from the bottom right corner going up and I'm losing more pixels every day. At some point it'll be unplayable, but as it stands, I can't even see the "R" at the bottom right screen of the home menu. I'll have to get a new 3DS in August which is okay, since I've had this one since December 2011.

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MiracleGhost47 Newbie

MiracleGhost47

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Really, I'm in need in a hug. Like, someone tell me it's ok that I'm a failure and you accept me for that/know that I'm a f***ing idiot/etc.

I'm not sure what kind of expectations you think we have for you aside from the stuff listed in the rules (unless that's what you were talking about in the first place). Sometimes it's hard to do the right thing, or even understand what the right thing is. I'm not gonna say I can completely relate to your situation, but I just want you to know that if you ever feel you aren't worthy of forgiveness, look inside yourself and ask "If someone treated me the same way, would I still stand by his/her side?" The more lenient you are towards others, the more lenient others tend to be toward you. Of course, there are also some people who will treat you unfairly, accepting your leniency while simultaneously not being lenient to your own mistakes. Don't let those individuals get to your head. Brush them off, and acknowledge your true friends... if you find them. 

 

You've been through a lot of negativity, so I would imagine it won't be easy for you to find or accept any kind of hope as being realistic. Whatever the case, I'll try bear with your rants, jokes, fits, etc. My jokes aren't the best either tbh. Just ask FlameDragon. XD

 

I used to dunk in Smash Bros.

I only have the Wii U version, but be sure to arrange something with me if we can play. :0

I'll pwn you tho. 

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vla1ne Newbie

vla1ne

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Posted

Dude, you're one of the most loved people on this site, you're genuine, you're funny, and even if you've got a temper, who doesn't? you might lack self confidence, but don't doubt the people that believe in you. there's a reason you have your own tier rep.

 

the only advice i can give you for your low confidence is to stop caring about what other people think, and we both know it's not that easy. but at the very least, the people here will fire back in kind at you. there's nothing wrong with having a bit of a temper, just ask laz. it's what keeps things interesting.

 

 

also, Yay! a 3ds opponent! although my 2ds stick broke off after i started playing ryu.... i need to fix that. but if you're ever up for a game...

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Sethera Newbie

Sethera

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Posted

You seem like a nice person with low self-esteem. And I don't have a negative opinion of you at all, though I do think that you have a negative opinion of yourself. Also, I like your blog. It's cool and you have good taste. So yeah, my impression of you is overall positive.

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Toffee. Newbie

Toffee.

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You know what I see in you, Armz? I see someone who gets excessively worked up and easily pissed off over reasons that honestly don't even concern you, a large portion of the time. And I know your just kidding yourself when you said you try really hard to keep yourself from losing it, because more ignorant fucks like me will go out of our way to push your buttons and drive you up a wall, because we know we can just judge you by that alone, as it proves my shallow impression of you, true.

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