Deerglebell, a last Xmas Spark

[Rayfield Lumina]

Hello, Community! Here I am again posting an archetype despite the fact that Christmas already passed and this all is Xmas based. I didn't have time to do it before, but I didn't want to wait for another full year! At least it's not 2021 yet xD

Special Mention: This archetype's artworks were made by our resident artist, @Sleepy . Of course, I got permission from her to use the drawings. That's why the archetype looks so good!

Without further ado, onward to the cards!

 

 

Deerglebell Comet

LIGHT                Level 2

Beast / Effect

If Summoned: You can Special Summon 1 "Deer" monster from your Deck, except "Deerglebell Comet". (Quick Effect): The owner of this card can move it to an unused Main Monster Zone from/to either side of the field. You can only use each effect of “Deerglebell Comet" once per turn. While not in its owner's possession, it cannot attack or be used as material, also monsters in zones adjacent to it lose 500 ATK. While in its owner's possession, gains these effects based on the Attribute of monsters in adjacent zones to it.
WATER: All "Deer" monster you control gain 300 ATK
 FIRE: "Deer" monsters you control are unaffected by non-"Deer" Trap Effects during your Main Phase 1.

ATK 1300 / DEF 700

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Deerglebell Dancer

WATER               Level 2

Beast / Effect

If Summoned: You can Special Summon 1 "Deer" monster from your hand, except "Deerglebell Dancer". (Quick Effect): The owner of this card can move it to an unused Main Monster Zone from/to either side of the field. You can only use each effect of “Deerglebell Dancer" once per turn. While not in its owner's possession, it cannot attack or be used as material, also monsters in zones adjacent to it cannot be Tributed. While in its owner's possession, gains these effects based on the Attribute of monsters in adjacent zones to it.
FIRE: When your opponent activates a card effect that involves adding cards to the hand (Quick Effect): You can Tribute this card; negate the activation.
WIND: "Deer" monsters you control are unaffected by non-"Deer" Spell Effects during your opponent's Main Phase 1.

ATK 1000 / DEF 1000

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Deerglebell Cupid

FIRE                 Level 2

Beast / Effect

If Summoned: You can Special Summon 1 "Deer" monster from your GY, except "Deerglebell Cupid". (Quick Effect): The owner of this card can move it to an unused Main Monster Zone from/to either side of the field. You can only use each effect of “Deerglebell Cupid" once per turn. While not in its owner's possession, it cannot attack or be used as material, also monsters in zones adjacent to it cannot be used as material. While in its owner's possession, gains these effects based on the Attribute of monsters in adjacent zones to it.
WIND: Banish monsters destroyed by battle with "Deer" monsters you control.
EARTH: "Deer" monsters you control are unaffected by your non-"Deer" monster effects during your opponent's Main Phase 1.

ATK 1100 / DEF 900

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Deerglebell Donner

WIND                  Level 2

Beast / Effect

If Summoned: You can add 1 “Deer” Spell from your Deck or GY to your hand. (Quick Effect): The owner of this card can move it to an unused Main Monster Zone from/to either side of the field. You can only use each effect of “Deerglebell Donner" once per turn. While not in its owner's possession, it cannot attack or be used as material, also non-”Deer” Spell Cards/effects in adjacent columns to it cannot be activated. While in its owner's possession, gains these effects based on the Attribute of monsters in adjacent zones to it.
EARTH: When your opponent Summons a monster (Quick Effect): You can Tribute this card; negate the Summon, and if you do, destroy that monster.
 DARK: Control, ATK/DEF and Battle Position of "Deer" monsters you control cannot change by your opponent's card effects.

ATK 1200 / DEF 800
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Deerglebell Vixen

EARTH            Level 2

Beast / Effect

If Summoned: You can target 1 of your banished "Deer" monsters; Special Summon it. The owner of this card can move it to an unused Main Monster Zone from/to either side of the field. You can only use each effect of “Deerglebell Vixen" once per turn. While not in its owner's possession, it cannot attack or be used as material, also non-”Deer” Trap Card/effects in adjacent columns to it cannot be activated. While in its owner's possession, gains these effects based on the Attribute of monsters in adjacent zones to it.
 DARK: The first time each "Deer" monster you control would be destroyed by battle each turn, it is not destroyed.
 LIGHT: When your opponent sends 1 card from the Deck to the GY: You can Tribute this card; Set that card to your field.

ATK: 1200 / DEF 800
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Deerglebell Prancer

DARK                   Level 2

Beast / Effect

If Summoned: You can add 2 “Deer” monsters from your Deck to your hand. (Quick Effect): The owner of this card can move it to an unused Main Monster Zone from/to either side of the field. You can only use each effect of “Deerglebell Prancer" once per turn. While not in its owner's possession, it cannot attack or be used as material, also non-”Deer” monster effects in adjacent columns to it cannot be activated. While in its owner's possession, gains these effects based on the Attribute of monsters in adjacent zones to it.
LIGHT: If this card destroys a monster by battle: Special Summon 1 “Deer” monster from your Deck.
WATER: “Deer” monster’s effects cannot be negated by your opponent’s card effects.

ATK 1400 / DEF 600
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Deerglebell Dasher

EARTH                Rank 2

Beast / Xyz / Effect

2 Level 2 Beast monsters
If this card is Xyz Summoned while your opponent controls 2+ “Deer” cards: You can target 1 Spell/Trap your opponent controls; Set it to your field, also activate 1 “Deer” Spell to your opponent’s zone in the same column as this card directly from your Deck. You can detach 1 material from this card, then target 1 “Deer” monster on the field; if you control the target, this card gains ATK equal to the target’s original ATK. If your opponent controls the target, inflict damage to your opponent equal to the target’s original ATK. You can only use each effect of “Deerglebell Dasher” once per turn.

ATK 2100 / DEF 400
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Deerglebell Blitzen

WIND                  Rank 2

Beast / Xyz / Effect

2 Level 2 Beast monsters

If this card is Xyz Summoned while your opponent controls 2+ “Deer” cards: You can target 1 Spell/Trap your opponent controls; banish it, then banish all copies of the target in your opponent’s possession, also activate 1 “Deer” Spell to your opponent’s zone in the same column as this card directly from your Deck. You can detach 1 material from this card, then target 3 “Deer” cards in your GY with different names; shuffle them into the Deck, and if you do, your opponent cannot activate cards or effects with the same type of card of those targets for the rest of this turn. You can only use each effect of “Deerglebell Blitzen” once per turn.

ATK 2200 / DEF 300
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Deerglebell Rudolph

LIGHT            Rank 2

Beast / Xyz / Effect

2 Level 2 Beast monsters

If this card is Xyz Summoned while your opponent controls 2+ “Deer” cards: You can target 1 Spell/Trap your opponent controls; place that target on top of the Deck, also activate 1 “Deer” Spell to your opponent’s zone in the same column as this card directly from your Deck. You can detach 1 material from this card, then target 1 “Deer” monster in your GY; activate the target’s card effect that activates when it is Summoned. If this card is destroyed by your opponent’s battle or card effect: You can send 1 “Deer” Card from your Deck to the GY. You can only use each effect of “Deerglebell Rudolph” once per turn.

ATK 2300 / DEF 200
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Deerlivery Service - Meloetta Doll

Continuous Spell

During the turn a "Deer" monster you control switches control, you can activate this card to your opponent's zone in the same column of a "Deer" monster you own not in your possession. When you declare an attack: Toss a Coin and call it. If you call it right, the attacking monster loses 500 ATK until the end of this turn. If you call it wrong, negate the attack. If this card leaves the field by your card effect: The owner of this card can Special Summon 1 “Deer” monster from their Deck, then all “Deer” monsters they control gain 300 ATK. You can only control 1 “Deerlivery Service - Meloetta Doll”.
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Deerlivery Service - Stun Bomb

Continuous Spell

During the turn a "Deer" monster you control switches control, you can activate this card to your opponent's zone in the same column of a "Deer" monster you own not in your possession. Negate the effect of monsters you control in this card’s column. If a monster is Normal/Special Summoned to this card’s column: Change it to face-down Defense Position. If this card leaves the field by your card effect: The owner of this card can Special Summon 1 “Deer” monster from their hand, and if they do, that “Deer” monster can make a second attack during each Battle Phase. You can only control 1 “Deerlivery Service - Stun Bomb”.
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Deerlivery Service - Move Sensor EMP

Continuous Spell

During the turn a "Deer" monster you control switches control, you can activate this card to your opponent's zone in the same column of a "Deer" monster you own not in your possession. During battles involving "Deer" monsters, you cannot activate cards or effects until the end of the Battle Step. If this card leaves the field by your card effect: The owner of this card can Special Summon 1 “Deer” monster from their GY, and if they do, that “Deer” monster cannot be targeted or destroyed by battle or card effects until the end of the next turn. You can only control 1 “Deerlivery Service - Move Sensor EMP”.
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Deerlivery Service - Moody Parking Pen

Continuous Spell

During the turn a "Deer" monster you control switches control, you can activate this card to your opponent's zone in the same column of a "Deer" monster you own not in your possession. You can only Special Summon a monster(s) up to twice per turn. If this card leaves the field by your card effect: The owner of this card can Tribute 1 “Deer” monster they control, and if they do, they can target 1 card you control, and if they do that, banish the target, face-down. You can only control 1 “Deerlivery Service - Moody Parking Pen”
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Deerlivery Service - Boxing Glove Spring

Continuous Spell

During the turn a "Deer" monster you control switches control, you can activate this card to your opponent's zone in the same column of a "Deer" monster you own not in your possession. Once per turn, if you Summon/Set a monster in your Main Monster Zone in the same column as this card: Switch control of that monster, moving it to the opponent's Main Monster Zone in the same column, but negate its effects, also it becomes a Level 2 Beast monster. If this card leaves the field by your card effect: The owner of this card can Tribute 1 “Deer” monster they control, and if they do, you cannot activate Spell/Traps Cards or effects for the rest of this turn. You can only control 1 “Deerlivery Service - Boxing Glove Spring”.
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Deerlivery Service - Boxing Glove Spring

Continuous Spell

During the turn a "Deer" monster you control switches control, you can activate this card to your opponent's zone in the same column of a "Deer" monster you own not in your possession. During the first two times each turn you send a card(s) to the GY, banish it instead. During the first two times each turn you banish a card(s), face-up (except by this card's effect), banish them face-down instead. If this card leaves the field by your card effect: The owner of this card can Tribute 1 “Deer” monster they control, and if they do, they can Special Summon up to 2 “Deer” monsters from their hand and/or GY. You can only control 1 “Deerlivery Service - D/D Pocket Portal”.
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Design Notes:

These cards have a rather particular wording. In some cases, I took some liberties in the official grammar (some of them pointed out by Sleepy as well, so credit to her for that as well). It's natural you don't see with good eyes that these cards say "If Summoned" instead of "If this card is Summoned". The reason for this and many other changes of the sort were made simply with the intention of shortening the number of characters in the card's effect. Now, to something more interesting: I keep using terms such as "The owner of this card" or "While not in it's owner's possession". The thing is these cards change control and go to your opponent with the same ease as they return to you. The problem is that, when you read a card effect, the "You" is the current owner of the card, no matter who it belongs to. That's why I keep referring to the actual owner and the opponent's owner, so the effects can't be confounded.

The lore is as follows: Santa is absolutely fed up with his job, and wants to screw Christmas for a change. With this in mind, he sent his innocent and cute reindeers to deliver the gifts by themselves, but he didn't tell them they're a ton of nasty stuff that will cause those who receive the gifts to get really mad. The archetype's Spells are called "Deerlivery Service", and are Spells that activate in the opponent's field. They all have negative effects for the player who controls them, and if they dare to destroy them, the reindeers will get angry/sad and either swarm the field or increase ATK, among other effects. They're rather nasty by themselves, not to mention they take up the opponent's space, but to "deliver them", you have to move a Deer to the opponent's field so it "can enter their house to deliver it". The Spells also have a pretty tricky wording. During the first part of the effect, where the owner activates them, "You" is the archetype's owner. Once it's on the opponent's field, the "You" becomes the opponent since they're controlling the card. Up to the point where the card leaves the field, it will affect only the opponent, but when it leaves, it mentions the owner again so there is no doubt who gets the benefits.

The Traps are called "Deerecive", and they are certain protocols the reindeers follow in certain circumstances, like when they're attacked in the middle of their delivery. They support the archetype directly, instead of simply causing trouble for the opponent. In the end, with "That's Enough Deerective" and "Freedom Directive", you can see the reindeers rebelling against Santa and turning him to the authorities and finally making a syndicate to defend their worker rights! (Work in progress)

P.D. And talking about Deer... yeah, I know these are Reindeers, but Reindeerglebell sounded horrible xD.

[Zamazenta the OS-Tan Fan]

How did you add bullet points to your card when i do that on this site it doesn`t work for some reason I did anyone tell you your cards look nice plase tell me how to put bullet points on my cards on this site and not an app and without me having to use https://neocardmaker.com/index.php i hate the text format on that site i like this better but hate that i cant add bullet points also your cards look good.

[Rayfield Lumina]

1 minute ago, Zamazenta said:

How did you add bullet points to your card when i do that on this site it doesn`t work for some reason I did anyone tell you your cards look nice plase tell me how to put bullet points on my cards on this site and not an app and without me having to use https://neocardmaker.com/index.php i hate the text format on that site i like this better but hate that i cant add bullet points also your cards look good.

LOL so after all that what's the most important to you was the fact that it got bullets? ***Cries in a corner*** Ok, now, seriously:

1) I understand that you don't like the other card maker. I as well find the format a little unpleasant, but it's a nice tool to keep in mind if you're making Pendulums or Links. As you surely noticed already, our Card Maker lack those templates.

2) Bad news for you: There is NO way to add bullets in the card maker as far as I know. How do they have them? I manually added them in an image editor.

[Zamazenta the OS-Tan Fan]

Thanks

I use https://neocardmaker.com/index.php for Pendulums and Link monsters only and i don`t have an image editor.

[Dokutah]

25 minutes ago, Zamazenta said:

Thanks

I use https://neocardmaker.com/index.php for Pendulums and Link monsters only and i don`t have an image editor.

Copy paste actual bullets from site that has translation of official cards like Yugioh.Wikia or Yugipedia

Also it would be rude not to review the poster's cards while at it no?

[Zamazenta the OS-Tan Fan]

@Originium Addict Thanks think a give you a little follow but will you please become one of my followers.

[Rayfield Lumina]

12 minutes ago, Dokutah Jolly said:

Also it would be rude not to review the poster's cards while at it no?

Hopefully you can help give me some pointers? Well, I understand if you don't (a lot of cards and unfinished). By the way, I added a flavour at the design notes. The Spell/Traps aren't here yet, but that should give you a better understanding of how this thing works n.n

[Zamazenta the OS-Tan Fan]

Thanks I hope you have good new years eve! Stargazer of Nascent WIngs and can you please follow me on my page i need at least 1 follower if you want.

[Sleepy]

5 minutes ago, Zamazenta said:

Thanks I hope you have good new years eve! Stargazer of Nascent WIngs and can you please follow me on my page i need at least 1 follower if you want.

I know you are new but for future reference:
It is considered spam (and also quite rude) to enter people's cards' threads to talk about something unrelated while ignoring said cards. Also, the "follow me and I'll follow back" is kind of shameless. If you have any questions like the bullet points ones, the forum has a section for questions and answers, or you can directly go to a member's profile to PM (Private Message) them with your inquiries.

[Arcadia warlic]

Of note, the archetype has access to "Rebuildeer".

Interesting theming, excellent artwork (my compliments to Sleepy), and good formatting on the cards themselves.

For the Xyz monsters, thou may wish to specify whose "left" is being used for the numbering ("your" being the owner's or controllers?).

[Rayfield Lumina]

20 minutes ago, Arcadia warlic said:

Of note, the archetype has access to "Rebuildeer".

Oh wow, I had no knowledge of such a card, Warlic, I guess there's not much I can do but to include it, haha.

22 minutes ago, Arcadia warlic said:

Interesting theming, excellent artwork (my compliments to Sleepy), and good formatting on the cards themselves.

Thanks! And yeah, Sleepy is fantastic n.n

22 minutes ago, Arcadia warlic said:

For the Xyz monsters, thou may wish to specify whose "left" is being used for the numbering ("your" being the owner's or controllers?)

In the particular case of the Xyz, which don't change control like crazy, it's easier to determine that the part that mentions "Treat your opponent's Spell & Trap Zones as numbers 1-5, counting from your left." is referring to the owner of the card in "your"... BUT, you're onto something. Given the whole theme of the archetype it could be advisable to say "counting from the owner of this card's left. I still feel it's not completely necessary since the monster won't change control by itself, and if it does due to X card effect, the first effect concerning this all won't be applicable. Thanks for the point out, though :)

[Arcadia warlic]

warlic*

Mayhaps the Xyz monsters may not switch due to their own effects, but they can be taken through other means (possibly the unreleased Spell and Trap cards, or just generic cards). Best to future-proof, though it is indeed a rather minor issue overall.

[Dokutah]

4 hours ago, Zamazenta said:

Thanks I hope you have good new years eve! Stargazer of Nascent WIngs and can you please follow me on my page i need at least 1 follower if you want.

random note our name is the Bolded one above lol

4 hours ago, Rayfield Lumina said:

Hopefully you can help give me some pointers?

i suppose i can, dont worry i have no problems towards unfinished archetypes....since i happen to be also doing it lol

in general: i likes the gimmicks. and like it even more when the gimmick is actually paired with powerful effect, which is the typing, level choice, and toolboxing ability.

Comet: the rest of the effect is decent but the bread and butter here is obviously the summon from deck effect which will jumpstart everything from the get go.

Dancer: another good extender and has a liitle better edge than comet due to lack of modern deck of running non-prevention traps other than evenly match. the anti search effect is neat

Cupid: while the extender effect is good it does require a bit of set up, making it rank the 3rd best in term of tool boxing. HOWEVER the rest of the effect is actually amazing. the best immunity of its kind, the best negation, and the best disruption all in one package. luckily you didnt made this have 200 DEF i guess...

Donner: is good, though its elemental pairing effect is not the best

Vixen: basically donner but worse. the best part about this card is the potential to DMOC the monster you kill. which you do have means to do it but probably will be less consistent than running generic rank 2 / links with better power output

Prancer: the same reaction as Cupid, which is dog-damn this card is really good for what it trying to do. although the LIGHT effect has the same problem as Vixen

Dasher: I LOVE THE GIMMICK, damn you made me wanna try my own version of it lol. its a bit niche but its a double pop that also fetch things from your deck meaning more disruptions and deck thining (also the pendulum hate though, almost like inviting Trif to your house). the boosting/burn effect is nice icing

Blitzen: it kinda a missed chance for me that the spell pop/fetching effect is using the same numbered zone placement as Dasher instead of other number (or reverse, like popping 2-4  while you have deer card in 1-5) but oh well not really a big deal. WOAH MAMA i almost had heart-attack with the detach effect...thank God for the lack of quick effect on that one since it would be busted as hell

Rudolph: has same missed chance in design like blitzen. Amazing extender effect

 

[Rayfield Lumina]

11 hours ago, Arcadia warlic said:

Mayhaps the Xyz monsters may not switch due to their own effects, but they can be taken through other means (possibly the unreleased Spell and Trap cards, or just generic cards). Best to future-proof, though it is indeed a rather minor issue overall.

Got it. I'll take this into consideration.

8 hours ago, Dokutah Jolly said:

random note our name is the Bolded one above lol

i suppose i can, dont worry i have no problems towards unfinished archetypes....since i happen to be also doing it lol

in general: i likes the gimmicks. and like it even more when the gimmick is actually paired with powerful effect, which is the typing, level choice, and toolboxing ability.

Comet: the rest of the effect is decent but the bread and butter here is obviously the summon from deck effect which will jumpstart everything from the get go.

Dancer: another good extender and has a liitle better edge than comet due to lack of modern deck of running non-prevention traps other than evenly match. the anti search effect is neat

Cupid: while the extender effect is good it does require a bit of set up, making it rank the 3rd best in term of tool boxing. HOWEVER the rest of the effect is actually amazing. the best immunity of its kind, the best negation, and the best disruption all in one package. luckily you didnt made this have 200 DEF i guess...

Donner: is good, though its elemental pairing effect is not the best

Vixen: basically donner but worse. the best part about this card is the potential to DMOC the monster you kill. which you do have means to do it but probably will be less consistent than running generic rank 2 / links with better power output

Prancer: the same reaction as Cupid, which is dog-damn this card is really good for what it trying to do. although the LIGHT effect has the same problem as Vixen

Dasher: I LOVE THE GIMMICK, damn you made me wanna try my own version of it lol. its a bit niche but its a double pop that also fetch things from your deck meaning more disruptions and deck thining (also the pendulum hate though, almost like inviting Trif to your house). the boosting/burn effect is nice icing

Blitzen: it kinda a missed chance for me that the spell pop/fetching effect is using the same numbered zone placement as Dasher instead of other number (or reverse, like popping 2-4  while you have deer card in 1-5) but oh well not really a big deal. WOAH MAMA i almost had heart-attack with the detach effect...thank God for the lack of quick effect on that one since it would be busted as hell

Rudolph: has same missed chance in design like blitzen. Amazing extender effect

 

Thanks a lot for the detailed feedback.

You know, you're right in pointing out that Cupid's got many of the best effects, Probably it would be a good idea to swap Cupid and Vixen's first bullet effect, that'd be very potent during a potential first turn. Cupid and something else go to the opponent (probably, zones 2 and 4) and you keep Vixen on your side. If your opponent summons, Vixen tribute, and if the opponent insist in summoning more stuff, it's possible they'd only have a single zone that's exempt from Cupid's anti-use as material effect. Noice!

Mmm... you might be right about the overlapping effects of the Xyzs. The thing here is that the annoying Deer spells are activated to your opponent's field, but according to the rules I'd be self imposing these cards, you can normally activate them to zones 1-3, because I felt using the leftmost/rightmost zone of your opponent right away is rather killing for Pendulums (I hate pendulums, but let's be fair here xD). The idea is that you fill zones 2-4, and when that's done, the Xyzs have the capability of using zones 1/5. In essence, the plan is to fill the whole opponent's field with disgusting stuff, which is more or less a wincon if the opponent can't blast their own background (and it's bad news for them if they do, anyway). I'm also unsure if I should add a clause so only 1 Deer Spell can be activated per turn. Perhaps 2, anything else is too slow or too much, I think. You make me reconsider, though, I'm not sure what to do with the spells and if I should change the Xyz's targets.

***Thinking***

[Zamazenta the OS-Tan Fan]

Wait Are You Still Continuing this Series or Not... ? It would be sad if you didn't Continue

[Rayfield Lumina]

1 hour ago, Zamazenta said:

Wait Are You Still Continuing this Series or Not... ? It would be sad if you didn't Continue

My bad, my bad, I've been working on some other stuff and refining the archetype's effects with the help of a friend, that's why I haven't updated so far. I plan to complete the archetype for sure.

Thanks a lot for being so interested in it

[Rayfield Lumina]

Bumperino

Added 6 Spells! They don't look nowhere as good as the monsters, since they were rather hard to obtain and they all looks different from each other in style (heck, one is something real, not a graphic or a drawing xD). They're colorful, tho. I'll keep these images until I manage to blackmail  gently convince Sleepy of making some more drawings n.n

Also, in accordance to a couple of suggestion from @Dokutah Jolly, I made some changes. Mostly, I swapped one of the effects of Cupid and Donner so they're more balanced. You won't like this too much, Jolly, but I changed that gimmicky effect of the Xyzs you liked for a more simple effect, but now it's much more flexible and and requires a lot less set up.

I'm also tagging @Mr Melon. I owed you the link, it took centuries, but here. It's only missing the Traps.

And I also tag @Sleepy 'cause Sleepy's hawt xD

[Sleepy]

I have a few suggestions in terms of the archetype:

First, the moving effect:
(Quick Effect): The owner of this card can move it to an unused Main Monster Zone from/to either side of the field.
You see, the way it is written right now, you can move the deer as you please from your side to another place on your own side, and if you give control of it via Creature Swap or whatever other effect, you can also force them back to you, but it does NOT include you being able to give your deer away to the opponent's side.

Second, the negative effects while the opponent is controlling them:
I noticed those effects don't include themselves. Comet weakens adjacent monsters but doesn't weaken itself, Dancer prevents adjacent monsters from being Tributed but it itself can be Tributed, and so on. I suggest you include them in this manner because if the opponent can affect the one emanating the effects anyways, it becomes kind of pointless in a lot of cases. Like, Monarchs only need to Tribute any 1 monster after the field spell Domain shrinks their Levels to size for it, and it'd be nice of Comet became not strong enough to destroy other deer in battle. Knowing you this is probably an intentional crack on the design to prevent them from feeling unfair, but still... something like Xyz decks would have to be lucky enough to be able to use it but it means mirror matches are worse matches xD

Third, Comet's. Dancer's and Cupid's "unaffected" effects.
This is a tricky one because there's a fine line I cannot find. If you do blanket "unaffected by anything" that covers them all, it might be an issue, but as is, I don't think those effects are gonna be doing a ton. A 1600 ATK monster that won't be affected by Traps isn't something to worry about for example (full effect Comet). I'd suggest something like "Deer monsters are unaffected by Traps during your Main Phase 1" or "Deer Monsters are unaffected by Spells during your opponent's Main Phase 1" or "Deer Monsters are unaffected by monster effects during your turn". Stuff like that that offers more coverage without outright making their armor invincible.

Fourth: You missed 1 effect for Summon extenders:
If Summoned: You can Special Summon 1 of your banished "Deer" monsters.
You have this effect live quite a bit actually thanks to Cupid's effect that has Deer monsters gain the "banish what it kills" effect. I can see Cupid constantly killing off Comet if Comet weakens itself on the opponent's side. I think that'd be nice in case you wanna take it.

Donner should probably say "adjacent zones" instead of columns, because it does not include its own column in the negative effect xD
The unlockable DARK effect looked fine earlier but right now that I'm revisiting it it kinda looks overly specific, and might be overkill if you end up taking some of the above suggestions.

Vixen's negative effect, same suggestion as Donner's xP
Hey, Vixen has a very fun interaction: Lightsworn in a mirror match could side in this card with a small Melffy engine and steal away Wulfs, Felis, or other stuff. It so happens to need just any LIGHT besides Vixen and it becomes live. I'm a fan of this as much as LS's prime days were back in 2008.
Other than that, same thing as the first members, I suggest extending the battle protection effect to something like "all your deer monsters, but during your turn" or "once per turn each, and this card doesn't die at all while you have a different named deer" stuff like that. Still openings, but with more coverage.

Prancer:
hmm yeah considering the tight niches filled with everything else, if I had to choose a Deer to get that "Special 1 banished", it'd probably be Prancer. "search 2 monsters" is huge but perhaps both "too huge" and also not needed considering everything else that supports Deers indirectly, Obedience Schooled, Rescue Cat, Racoons, Melffies, Ayer's Rock Sunrise, and who knows what else.
Another idea, I noticed this says "Deer monsters cannot be negated", the above card I had mentioned that had a very oddly specific protection that was almost unneeded.. let's seeee... Donner! I suggest doing what you are doing here with Prancer, but for the S/T cards instead of for the monsters.

Dasher: No complaints. That is super solid. You steal a card, give them more field-clogging, and you can even essentially double damage from a deer considering you burn and the deer target comes back to you for a direct attack after the fact.

Blitzen is savage! Can be all 3 variations of Shock Master's lock in the same turn. Good thing it only lasts during your turn and demands some sort of setup, but geez xD
Also, I'm finding out it is great that the Extra Deck monsters are the ones that deal with backrow considering I've seen some decks where backrow is non-existent, and it'd be a shame to draw an effect like this against them. Extra Deck is just the right place.

Rudolph, the biggest ATK needs to be destroyed xD
I guess with this one, it becomes counter-productive all that protection from others if it ended up upgrading.... That'd probably make this card the weakest link so far. Though I have another thing to mention: Why does Rudolph need to die for its effect? Is there something dark story-wise you are planning there? xD
I do like the part where the hard OPT clause on-Summon effects of other Deer monsters, you get to choose 1 to get a second shot at.

That Meloetta Doll is a great mine to step on xD
More "get from Deck" support, enforcing why Prancer's Double Stratos effect is overkill. Love it, and how it hinders the opponent no matter what even though it has 2 variations.
Ideas like this archetype are the reason I always used to have a Scrap Dragon in my Extra Deck back in the day.

With Stun Bomb I'm starting to see the pattern of them floating into a copy of the Deer monsters' "on Summon" effects for the owner. Also I am guessing this card is meant to cover the deer that don't include themselves with their own negative effects. I think I now understand the idea and think it could go either way (with or without my suggestion to include themselves with their negative effects). 

I have no comment on Move Sensor, it is solid [insert thumbs up ]
The Moody Parking pen however is amazing. Does not disable an Extra Deck Summon but the way it limits it makes your "Tribute to negate Summon" effect the equivalent to telling your opponent "Haha dance! dance I said!" while you shoot at their feet to move them.....

Boxing Glove Spring sounds like it could be a nice tech but sometimes it could be more trouble than it is worth. They can just give you something that clogs you so you probably need an in-archetype to get rid of it. Like "switch control of it and treat it as a Level 2 Beast". And the art would probably be the deer dressing a monster on a deer suit and carrying it to the sled.

I don't understand Pocket Portal not directly banishing the cards sent to the GY face-down. It seems to retcon itself. Also, 3 cards per turn is quite a lot. I imagined you'd be going for 1 per turn there xD though I get why that can be too little too. 

Don't worry about "If Summoned". If you see something like Obelisk the Tormentor, it also doesn't bother stating "If this card is..." I think the thing is legit.

Can't wait for the Traps to come xD




 

[Tinkerer]

Did the card Punch-in-the-Box inspire Boxing Glove Spring?

I actually don't have a whole lot to say about these.  I already knew the basic concept in how these would work, so it was more/less a matter of how you interpreted it and how these were implemented.  For the most part, these look like they would work very well.  I'd leave the individual effects to other commenters, but I am more interested in how these interact with other irl cards so I think I'll focus on that.

 

In terms of power level and how dangerous these could be, I think the biggest danger would come from getting 4-5 "Deer" monsters on the field at the same time (and giving them to the opponent) and/or mixing these with other cards that lock your opponent's zones.  Ground Collapse and Zany Zebra (for that sweet Level 2, Beast synergy) come to mind.  As long as you have a way to protect from your own "Deer" monsters, you should be able to lock out the opponent very easily and focus on alternative win conditions.

Overall, these are pretty heavily locked into "Deer" cards so any other synergy would have to come from outside to help these rather than the other way around.  Mixing with Melffys seems pretty logical and a really easy way to lock the opponent's board quickly.

Quote

Opening Hand:

- Comet + any 1 other Deer monster

 

Combo:

- Summon Comet

- Comet effect > Summon Dancer

- Dancer effect > Summon 3rd "Deer" from hand

- Use all 3 to Xyz into Joyous Melffys

Opponent's Turn:

- (Quick Effect) Use Joyous Melffys' effect > Summon all three "Deer" from the GY

- Comet effect > Summon 4th "Deer" from Deck

- (Quick Effect): Give 4 "Deer" to opponent.

Result: Opponent has a bunch of Deer they can't use and only have 1 usable monster zone.

You can also use Obedience Schooled to achieve the same effect even more quickly.

I also mentioned "alternative win conditions" early on which reminds me: these cards are probably Mystic Mine's best friend.  I am not entirely sure how their quick effects would resolve alongside MM, but you can give deer with negative continuous effects to your opponent while also locking their ability to make plays.

Overall, the deck has some really unique interactions.  Not entirely sure how to address the more dangerous of these though (since it is all part of the Deer's play style).

[Rayfield Lumina]

On 1/24/2021 at 11:20 AM, Sleepy said:

I have a few suggestions in terms of the archetype:

First, the moving effect:
(Quick Effect): The owner of this card can move it to an unused Main Monster Zone from/to either side of the field.
You see, the way it is written right now, you can move the deer as you please from your side to another place on your own side, and if you give control of it via Creature Swap or whatever other effect, you can also force them back to you, but it does NOT include you being able to give your deer away to the opponent's side.

Second, the negative effects while the opponent is controlling them:
I noticed those effects don't include themselves. Comet weakens adjacent monsters but doesn't weaken itself, Dancer prevents adjacent monsters from being Tributed but it itself can be Tributed, and so on. I suggest you include them in this manner because if the opponent can affect the one emanating the effects anyways, it becomes kind of pointless in a lot of cases. Like, Monarchs only need to Tribute any 1 monster after the field spell Domain shrinks their Levels to size for it, and it'd be nice of Comet became not strong enough to destroy other deer in battle. Knowing you this is probably an intentional crack on the design to prevent them from feeling unfair, but still... something like Xyz decks would have to be lucky enough to be able to use it but it means mirror matches are worse matches xD

Third, Comet's. Dancer's and Cupid's "unaffected" effects.
This is a tricky one because there's a fine line I cannot find. If you do blanket "unaffected by anything" that covers them all, it might be an issue, but as is, I don't think those effects are gonna be doing a ton. A 1600 ATK monster that won't be affected by Traps isn't something to worry about for example (full effect Comet). I'd suggest something like "Deer monsters are unaffected by Traps during your Main Phase 1" or "Deer Monsters are unaffected by Spells during your opponent's Main Phase 1" or "Deer Monsters are unaffected by monster effects during your turn". Stuff like that that offers more coverage without outright making their armor invincible.

Fourth: You missed 1 effect for Summon extenders:
If Summoned: You can Special Summon 1 of your banished "Deer" monsters.
You have this effect live quite a bit actually thanks to Cupid's effect that has Deer monsters gain the "banish what it kills" effect. I can see Cupid constantly killing off Comet if Comet weakens itself on the opponent's side. I think that'd be nice in case you wanna take it.

Donner should probably say "adjacent zones" instead of columns, because it does not include its own column in the negative effect xD
The unlockable DARK effect looked fine earlier but right now that I'm revisiting it it kinda looks overly specific, and might be overkill if you end up taking some of the above suggestions.

Vixen's negative effect, same suggestion as Donner's xP
Hey, Vixen has a very fun interaction: Lightsworn in a mirror match could side in this card with a small Melffy engine and steal away Wulfs, Felis, or other stuff. It so happens to need just any LIGHT besides Vixen and it becomes live. I'm a fan of this as much as LS's prime days were back in 2008.
Other than that, same thing as the first members, I suggest extending the battle protection effect to something like "all your deer monsters, but during your turn" or "once per turn each, and this card doesn't die at all while you have a different named deer" stuff like that. Still openings, but with more coverage.

Prancer:
hmm yeah considering the tight niches filled with everything else, if I had to choose a Deer to get that "Special 1 banished", it'd probably be Prancer. "search 2 monsters" is huge but perhaps both "too huge" and also not needed considering everything else that supports Deers indirectly, Obedience Schooled, Rescue Cat, Racoons, Melffies, Ayer's Rock Sunrise, and who knows what else.
Another idea, I noticed this says "Deer monsters cannot be negated", the above card I had mentioned that had a very oddly specific protection that was almost unneeded.. let's seeee... Donner! I suggest doing what you are doing here with Prancer, but for the S/T cards instead of for the monsters.

Dasher: No complaints. That is super solid. You steal a card, give them more field-clogging, and you can even essentially double damage from a deer considering you burn and the deer target comes back to you for a direct attack after the fact.

Blitzen is savage! Can be all 3 variations of Shock Master's lock in the same turn. Good thing it only lasts during your turn and demands some sort of setup, but geez xD
Also, I'm finding out it is great that the Extra Deck monsters are the ones that deal with backrow considering I've seen some decks where backrow is non-existent, and it'd be a shame to draw an effect like this against them. Extra Deck is just the right place.

Rudolph, the biggest ATK needs to be destroyed xD
I guess with this one, it becomes counter-productive all that protection from others if it ended up upgrading.... That'd probably make this card the weakest link so far. Though I have another thing to mention: Why does Rudolph need to die for its effect? Is there something dark story-wise you are planning there? xD
I do like the part where the hard OPT clause on-Summon effects of other Deer monsters, you get to choose 1 to get a second shot at.

That Meloetta Doll is a great mine to step on xD
More "get from Deck" support, enforcing why Prancer's Double Stratos effect is overkill. Love it, and how it hinders the opponent no matter what even though it has 2 variations.
Ideas like this archetype are the reason I always used to have a Scrap Dragon in my Extra Deck back in the day.

With Stun Bomb I'm starting to see the pattern of them floating into a copy of the Deer monsters' "on Summon" effects for the owner. Also I am guessing this card is meant to cover the deer that don't include themselves with their own negative effects. I think I now understand the idea and think it could go either way (with or without my suggestion to include themselves with their negative effects). 

I have no comment on Move Sensor, it is solid [insert thumbs up ]
The Moody Parking pen however is amazing. Does not disable an Extra Deck Summon but the way it limits it makes your "Tribute to negate Summon" effect the equivalent to telling your opponent "Haha dance! dance I said!" while you shoot at their feet to move them.....

Boxing Glove Spring sounds like it could be a nice tech but sometimes it could be more trouble than it is worth. They can just give you something that clogs you so you probably need an in-archetype to get rid of it. Like "switch control of it and treat it as a Level 2 Beast". And the art would probably be the deer dressing a monster on a deer suit and carrying it to the sled.

I don't understand Pocket Portal not directly banishing the cards sent to the GY face-down. It seems to retcon itself. Also, 3 cards per turn is quite a lot. I imagined you'd be going for 1 per turn there xD though I get why that can be too little too. 

Don't worry about "If Summoned". If you see something like Obelisk the Tormentor, it also doesn't bother stating "If this card is..." I think the thing is legit.

Can't wait for the Traps to come xD

Alrighty, huge thanks for such a detailed reply, Sleepy. I'm addressing your suggestions. Before re-making the cards, I'd like to make another version for the effects (text only). If that becomes approved, then I proceed with the next iteration of the cards.

1) Added the from/to in the Main Deck Deers

2) About the suggestion about including the Deers into the negative effects while visiting opponent's home, welp, yeah, the part that lets the Deers be tributed is an intentional flaw. Comet doesn't care about it's ATK being unaffected because while in the opponent's control, no deer can attack. The other effects that negate a type of card's effects in adjacent columns is made as so to further encourage the strategic placement, as this archetype is a lot about adjacent zones, columns and stuff.

3) I'm totally taking the suggestions. I've always felt they were a little lackluster, so more solid effects are on target. I dunno if you're ok with this, but instead of the wording you're using in the suggestion (deer monsters) I made it so only the ones you control are unaffected. Yeah, I'm aware this can be detrimental to protect Deers not in your possession, but still. Also added the non-"Deer" so they can be affected by the cards in the archetype. Dangerous for mirror matches, but what isn't dangerous in mirror matches? It has pros and cons, so... *shrugs*

4) I'm leaving Donner as it is, but taking Vixen's revamp. It's not the same, tho, but I gave them a general Dark Resonator like effect: The first time each "Deer" monster you control would be destroyed by battle each turn, it is not destroyed.

5) Alrighty, changing Prancer's effect to the SS Banished Deer.

I have to stop here right now since I gotta go, (leaving this here in case you read before I can further change stuff) but I'm addressing other stuff when I have the chance n.n Thanks a lot again.

I also plan to reply to Tinkerer. If you read this, thanks to you too man, I'm considering your suggestions as well.

[Zamazenta the OS-Tan Fan]

These card look Really Nice Ray

Maybe put that the new owner of those cards cannot tribute the Deers nor could they them as material with not in its owners Poisson. These cards could work out really well.

[Rayfield Lumina]

@Sleepy

Continuing from where I left it:

6) I want to change Rudolph's effect when killed

7) I'm taking the suggestion to make the pushed monster in Boxing Glove a Level 2 Beast monster, that's an amazing idea.

8) D/D Pocket Portal's was an oversight. The plan was to mention that the banishing face-down cards banished face-up was independent, hence the new (except by this card's effect). I get what you mean, I could make everything go face-down from starters, but I wanted to make that distinction: Send to GY -> Banish face-up. Banish Face Up except by the card effect) -> Banish Face-down. Since you mentioned 3 is probably too much and 1 might be too little, I adjusted each effect to 2.

I'm glad to know you're still looking forward to the Traps. I have many of them in a draft in a notebook, but my problem right now is the art. I could manage by using some silly images (or in the case of the Parking Pen, a composition I made with Kuribohs xD) but for the Traps, it's supposed to be the Deers doing tactical formations, avoiding stuff in mid-air and the like. There are a couple in which the Deers are turning over Santa to the police (lol) and another one when they're making a SOARWR (Syndicate of Airborne Reindeer Worker Rights). So, I dunno what to do... maybe leaving the cards blank on the meantime?

On 1/24/2021 at 5:58 PM, Mr Melon said:

Did the card Punch-in-the-Box inspire Boxing Glove Spring?

I actually don't have a whole lot to say about these.  I already knew the basic concept in how these would work, so it was more/less a matter of how you interpreted it and how these were implemented.  For the most part, these look like they would work very well.  I'd leave the individual effects to other commenters, but I am more interested in how these interact with other irl cards so I think I'll focus on that.

 

In terms of power level and how dangerous these could be, I think the biggest danger would come from getting 4-5 "Deer" monsters on the field at the same time (and giving them to the opponent) and/or mixing these with other cards that lock your opponent's zones.  Ground Collapse and Zany Zebra (for that sweet Level 2, Beast synergy) come to mind.  As long as you have a way to protect from your own "Deer" monsters, you should be able to lock out the opponent very easily and focus on alternative win conditions.

Overall, these are pretty heavily locked into "Deer" cards so any other synergy would have to come from outside to help these rather than the other way around.  Mixing with Melffys seems pretty logical and a really easy way to lock the opponent's board quickly.

You can also use Obedience Schooled to achieve the same effect even more quickly.

I also mentioned "alternative win conditions" early on which reminds me: these cards are probably Mystic Mine's best friend.  I am not entirely sure how their quick effects would resolve alongside MM, but you can give deer with negative continuous effects to your opponent while also locking their ability to make plays.

Overall, the deck has some really unique interactions.  Not entirely sure how to address the more dangerous of these though (since it is all part of the Deer's play style).

Woah, I'm seeing Punch-In-The-Box artwork xD. Nope it didn't inspire it, it's a coincidence that happened because I didn't know that card. Actually, it's a funny story because this card's effect was originally the current one, then I felt it was too strong and was going to give it the effect that Stun Bomb currently has. But Darj mentioned the effect again and I said, welp, if Darj says so, I guess it's not too broken xP.

Yeah, I share you concerns. From the very start, I wanted to give the deers a limitation so a max. of 3 can be given to the opponent at any time. Unfortunately, the effects were already too long and I felt like omitting that part. But what you say definitely makes sense. For instance, I could Summon Comet, SS Dancer from Deck and use Dancer's effect to SS another Deer from hand, give the 3 to the opponent and activate Ground Collapse... this is actually pretty easy to pull off and almost a win-con. In this case, not even the aforementioned limitation of 3 would be too effective. And I'm not even including Zanny Zebra in the equation yet, which is a fantastic ally to this deck (thanks for pointing that out). I dunno, maybe a formula to limit the movement to 2 per turn?

If 1 or less "Deer" monsters have switched control this turn (Quick Effect): The owner of this card can move it to an unused Main Monster Zone from/to either side of the field".

The addition is not too big. It will still cause the letters to be the size of bacteria, but I guess I could do this xD.

Yep, Obedience Schooled is one of the cards that sound awesome for this guys. Almost free Xyz plus other shenanigans, like a Link 1, or let the 3rd monster explode to feed the GY. Rescue Cat comes to the, huh, rescue, Valeryfawn and Ronin Racoon (pointed out by Sleepy)

I'm glad you like the archetype despite being heavily locked in itself (I remember you saying in the Taste Dossier you didn't like that >_<'')

Thanks for the feedback! n.n

2 hours ago, Zamazenta said:

These card look Really Nice Ray

Maybe put that the new owner of those cards cannot tribute the Deers nor could they them as material with not in its owners Poisson. These cards could work out really well.

Thanks

The Deers are already unable to be used as material while not in the owner's possession, but it's true they still can be Tributed. You see, I wanted them to have flaws in their defensive capabilities so the opponent has a chance to get rid of them. It's not fun if they're completely impervious and annoying, right? 

[Zamazenta the OS-Tan Fan]

Yeah that would be true I guess it could be either one or the other.

[Sleepy]

Send me the art concepts for the traps and I'll try to make some time to draw them. Though it's been roughly a year since I drew those deer images... hopefully I can still match their colors and stuff xD Can't make it promises but it might be a good source of inspiration.

About the way you wanna limit the amount of Deer monsters you can give away, just be careful because they are quick effects. You can probably chain all of them when they meet the requirement, and after all have been put in motion, you'll start resolving and giving them away. It is better to make it an independent clause like a player can only control up to 3non-owned "Deer" monsters
Which no card in the game IRL uses that wording but you get the idea xD

Ojamas kind of can also do quick locks but I'll admit not as easy and consistently as these cards, so I support the motion of limiting things if you wanna go that route.
 

[Tinkerer]

Alternatively, you can probably mess around with the wording used for extra Normal Summons: "You can only gain this effect once per turn".  It ties the OPT condition to the effect itself rather than to the monster.