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Post and I'll give you a superpower.


Lunar Origins

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OKAY FIRSTLY funk Y'ALL FOR DOUBTING I'D DO THIS

 

 

Oke doke

 

YOU.

 

YOU'VE GOT THE POWER OF CONFUSION.  WHEREVER YOU GO, PEOPLE WILL LOOK AT YOU AND JUST STAND IN AWKWARD CONTEMPLATION.  PEOPLE WON'T KNOW WHAT TO THINK OF YOU; SOME MAY JUST DROP WHAT THEY'RE DOING AND FIND SOMEWHERE THAT'S SLIGHTLY MORE COMFORTABLE.  OTHERS MAY FOLLOW YOU AROUND TO TRY AND MAKE SENSE OF THE ELDRITCH TRUTH THAT IS THELOCALSPINDA, BUT THEIR EFFORTS ARE USELESS

 

Do eet

 

YOU.

 

YOU'VE GOT THE POWER OF COLONIALISM; WHEREVER YOU GO, YOU CLAIM IT FOR YOUR PETTY LITTLE EMPIRE.  NO LONGER SHALL YOU GO UNRECOGNIZED; ALL WILL KNOW THE TRUE EXTENT OF THE BRITISH RULE FROM THE PATH YOU TAKE

 

I have a bad feeling.

 

YOU.

 

YOU'VE GOT THE POWER OF BEING SEEMINGLY OVERPOWERED.  IF SOMEONE CAN DO IT, YOU CAN DO IT SLIGHTLY BETTER, INCITING RAGE AND MAKING PEOPLE COMPLAIN ABOUT HOW OP YOU ARE, WHEN, IN REALITY, YOU'RE REALLY JUST QUITE AVERAGE AND JUST HAVE A KNACK FOR MAKING THINGS LOOK FLASHY

 

G.i.go.

 

YOU.

 

YOU'VE GOT THE POWER OF BEING REALLY, REALLY DEADPAN.

 

LIKE, THAT'S IT.  THAT'S YOUR POWER.

 

Same. But let's do this anyways.

tumblr_njqgups3461u0f71go2_500.gif

 

YOU.

 

YOU HAVE THE POWER OF CREATION; IF IT EXISTS, YOU CAN MAKE IT.  WANT A MONSTER TRUCK?  YOU BET YOUR ASS YOU'LL GET IT.  WANT A SNICKERS?  DAMN, SHARE IT WITH YOUR FRIENDS.  WANT A LITERAL funking SUN?  SURE, WHY NOT TWO WHILE YOU'RE AT IT?  WANT A GOD DAMN MOON?  KNOCK YOURSELF OUT

 

Yes!!!

 

YOU.

 

YOU HAVE THE POWER OF MIND CONTROL, AND THE ABILITY TO COMMUNICATE WITH OTHER SPECIES; HOWEVER, THIS ABILITY ISN'T VERY STRONG AND ONLY APPLIES TO SMALL ANIMALS.  BUT, HEY, THAT'S PRETTY COOL, RIGHT?  YOU CAN TALK TO DOGS.  THAT'S PROBABLY THE MOST POSITIVE THING ON THIS LIST

 

Por favor

 

YOU.

 

YOU CAN CONTROL HOW FAST KELP GROWS.  ISN'T THAT NEAT?

 

Let's see how this turns out.

 

YOU.

 

YOU'VE GOT THE ABILITY TO GRANT FLIGHT TO ANYTHING BUT HUMANS.  WHILE INITIALLY USELESS, THIS CAN BE USED IN A MYRIAD OF WAYS.  SEE THAT SKATEBOARD? NOW IT CAN FLY.  NOW IT'S A FLYING SKATEBOARD.

 

Don't hurt me pls

 

YOU.

 

YOU HAVE THE POWER OF MAKING EVERYTHING INVOLVED WITH YOU SEEM VERY CUTE, NO MATTER HOW DEVIOUS IT MAY BE.  THIS ALLOWS YOU TO DISGUISE ANYTHING YOU HAVE UNDER A GUISE OF D'AWW WHEN, IN REALITY, THE OBJECT IS QUITE THREATENING.

 

Don't be mysoginistic about it.

 

YOU.

 

YOU HAVE THE POWER OF TRIGGERING PEOPLE, WHEREVER THEY MAY BE.  YOUR VERY EXISTENCE TRIGGERS EVERY SJW YOU COME ACROSS, LEADING YOU DOWN THE PATH OF A LIFE OF SOLITUDE.  THE SHOCKWAVES OF YOUR VERY EXISTENCE WILL BE BLOGGED ABOUT FOR THE REST OF YOUR DAYS

 

Lezz do dis.

 

HOOOOLY sheet IT'S SUCH A CUTE PUPPY OH MY funking GOD I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

 

BUT SERIOUSLY YOUR SUPERPOWER IS SOMETHING YOU ALREADY POSSESS LIKE WOW YOU'RE JUST SO FRIGGIN ADORABLE AND I JUST WANT TO PET YOU AND AWWWWWWWWWWWWW

 

Sure, though 90% sure OP won't come through.

 

YOU.

 

YOU HAVE THE IMMACULATE ABILITY TO MAKE ME SKIP OVER YOU.

 

NEAT, HUH?

 

So you are gonna pull through?

 

PROBABLY

 

Clearly, your power will be interpreting everything as misogynistic (while also misspelling said word)

 

Also, I have the feeling I'll get some weird power like turning bacon into swords (Mmm, bacon)

 

YOU.

 

YOU GET THE POWER TO TURN BACON INTO SWORDS.  WHILE THIS SEEMS INITIALLY USELESS AND WEIRD, TRANSMOGRIFICATION IS A VERY USEFUL TALENT INDEED.  DON'T YOU KNOW HOW EXPENSIVE SWORDS ARE? YOU COULD MAKE A FORTUNE OFF OF A VISIT TO THE GROCERY STORE

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